WWF: ATTITUDE (FIRST SHOW POSTED!!)

;NOTE: The stage is the RAW 2000-2002 (i think) one.



J.R: Welcome, one and all, to the first episode of Monday.....Night....RAW!

Jerry Lawler: And what a show its gonna be tonight...oh my, puppies, J.R! Lotsa puppies!



J.R: Oh lord.....

Jerry Lawler: DX! Its DX! What better way to open the show than the kings of the WWF?

J.R: Kings of jackassery, more like.

Shawn Michaels and Triple H make their way down to the ring- unaccompanied by Chyna, which was odd. They are doing the usual- Shawn is humping every inanimate object in sight, Hunter just plain mocking people, ect. Finally, they got to the ring. Shawn picks up a mic. He faces the crowd.....
...
Then turns to HHH.

Blah! Hunter, there's a problem!

What would that be, Shawn?

Everything..... it RED! Its shouldn't be.....shouldn't it be... like.... generic.... and....generic?

Well Shawn, I think thats because its MONDAY.....NIGHT.....RRRRRRRRRRRRAW!

Monday Night RRRRRRRRRRRRRaw?

No. Its not RRRRRRRRRRRRRaw. Its RAW.

But-but-but-but.....but you said RRRRRRRRRRRRRRaw?

Shawn, come now dear boy. Its only RAW.

Ah. Well, to the thousands in attendance.... to the millions watching at home.... Welcome to RAW!



The theme explodes over the speakers as the Rock makes his way out. At his side, Shane and Mr. McMahon. DX is looking mockingly shocked as they stand at the top of the stage, the Rock holding his dear WWF title and Shane and Vince looking angry. The Rock begins to talk.

How in the blue hell do they let you jackasses get airtime? I mean, seriously? First we have the orientation- ambiguous "HBK" Shawn Michaels, the "Blue Blooded Bird Nose" Hunter Hearst Helmsley, and the man woman- oh wait, she (or he) isn't hear, now is it? Now you guys have noone to hide behind! JeeZUS.

Now- now- now wait just a moment, 'Rocky'! You hide behind Vinnie Mac and- well, you can't very well hide behind Shane, can you? That'd be like, well, frankly, trying to hide behind Vincey-Poo-pie. I mean, even Shawn agrees, and Shawn used to always put his lips to Vince's ass!

The crowd lets out a very audible "ooo!" as Shawn fakes shock.

Know your role and shut your mouth! You wanna mess with the Rock? You wanna try to beat the champion? Well... I got 2 words for you; not happening! So thats why, my boss Mr McMahon has booked a match- you two against Edge and Christian, the Hardyz and the Dudley's in a TLC match! So suck on that, you candy assed jabroni's!

This time DX looks genuinely shocked as the show goes to commercial break.....

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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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When we get back, we see John Cena in the ring, of course with a stupid smug look on his face.

Yo, yo, yo....yo! Kane, you wanna challenge me man? I guess-

The lights shut off suddenly.....



Fire erupts from the stage as soon as the song starts, and Kane is already walking to the ring before the darkness is replaced by light.

J.R: Business is about to pick up!

Jerry Lawler: No puppies yet.......

As soon as Kane hits the ring, him and Cena are brawling. The bell starts- but it didn't do anything for the competitors. They are trading lefts and rights, until Cena hits Kane in the leg with a kick. Kane stumbles- and Cena takes advantage. He hits Kane over and over, and the referee gets knocked down.

J.R: And the referees out! Nothing can stop these men from tearing each other up!

Jerry Lawler: Its an all out brawl, I don't think either one cares who wins as long as their enemy is out!

Suddenly, Kane is knocked over the top rope. He lands on his feet- and drags Cena under the rope. The brawl up the ramp, however Kane seems to have an advantage. Cena is stumbling, and Kane is hitting him left and right. He then takes Cena by the throat; he drags him right in front of the stage, and then takes a right. Tables heaped with equipment are located their- along with the wires and machinery of the lighting system. Kane takes Cena up... and with force, slams him down.

J.R: Good gawd! Good gawd! No! Stop this animal, this monster!

Cena lands, and breaks through the tables. Sparks fly up the box like shapes, but Cena is completely KO'd. Medics rush to him as Kane walks backstage.
*********

We go backstage and we can see Cole with a microphone, and we see Edge and Christian smiling.

Cole: So, Edge, Christian, you heard-

Edge: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT WE HEARD!

Cole: ...

Edge: Anyways, yeah we heard you idiot. And, who ever wins this match gets the tag titles! I mean, man, that reeks of awesomeness!

Christian: Totally! I mean, when you think about it... just imagine hearing it..... the new tag team champions...are not DX!

Christian takes out a kazoo.

J.R: Oh no.....

Christian begins playing his little heart out.

Edge: Break it down! Dun-nuh-nuh, dunununu.. Break it down! Yeah! Edge and Christian rule! Break it down!

The scene fades while we see Edge and Christian jamming with Cole awkwardly standing near them, still holding the microphone for no apparent reason.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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When we get back, we see a car pull into the parking lot. There is a pause for a second- who is it? who could it be?

The door opens.



The crowd goes insane- they hadn't seen Bret in WWF since the Screwjob a year ago!

J.R: Bah gawd, King! Its the Hitman!

Lawler: But, J.R, why is he here? Its been wildly reported that he'd never set foot in the WWF again!

J.R: Well, King, I just got word that there's gonna be a gargantuan announcement tonight! It gotta have something to do with the Hitman!

The scene goes back to the arena, and the crowd is still crazy over the return of the Hitman. But then, the lights go out.....



We can see Jericho in his position at the start, but once the first yelled "Break the walls down!" enters the arena, he whips around amid a flurry of fireworks.

J.R: This man has been obsessed with the WWF Championship, ever since McMahon screwed him at the last WrestleMania.

Lawler: Yeah, Jericho was one of the first victims of the Rock Regime.

He hits the ring, and waits for his opponent.



Jericho scoffs as the theme plays- but no Mankind. He waits. Then-



Jericho began yelling in protest-it was a 'rule' that every match Cactus Jack was in, was a hardcore match! Suddenly, the crazy man of the WWF came up behind him. Hit after after hit with a steel chair, and Jericho is out. Cactus Jack does the bang bang motion, and waits for Y2J to get up.

Lawler: Ross, we're only one minute into this match, and Jericho is already out of his mind!

Jericho gets up- or stumbles up, that more like it- and is greeted with a double armed DDT on to the chair. Cactus Jack rolls him over for the pin.

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2!
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3!

DINGDING!

Cactus jumps up, a smile on his face. He was sending a message to the WWF, and they were listening....
****
The camera cut to The Rock walking down the hallway, an angry expression on his face. He stops at Mr. McMahon's office, and opens the door.

We see the desk broken; papers everywhere, and Shane McMahon was in the middle of the broken desk, barely stirring.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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When we come back, we see Trish Stratus in the ring, a determined look in her eyes as she waited for this Women's title match to start.



Chyna makes her way to the ring, the title belt slung over here shoulder. She slides in, gives the belt to the ref, and stares at Trish.

DING!DING!

The women run at each other and immediately begins battling.

Lawler: PUPPIES!

J.R: Yes, Lawler, puppies. Jeez.

Trish seems to have an upper hand, as she begins to run to the other turnbuckle, ready to dropkick Chyna. She runs for it, but the powerful Chyna hits Trish with a clothesline.

Lawler: OH NO! TRISH! Oh no, no, no, no.... gets some help! Medics! Help Trish- ah, gosh, Ross, I might have to give her mouth to mouth!

J.R: Sit your ass down King!

Chyna goes in for the pin, but Trish kicks out. Chyna begins beating her down, but still Trish keeps getting back up.

Lawler: Oh no. no. no! Trish, please... my god.....Arg! Her puppies are hurt! I should take them to Doctor Lawler!

J.R: more like Nurse Lawler......

Chyna grabs onto the ropes to take a break, and Trish takes the chance. She rolls up Chyna....

1!
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2!
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3!

THE NEW WOMENS CHAMPION: TRISH STRATUS!

Lawler: OH YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES! I SHOULD GO CELEBRATE AND-

J.R: King, just shut your BBQ sauce hole! It looks like Mr. McMahon is making his announcement, up next!

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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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When we get back, we see McMahon standing in the Ring, looking proud and angry at the same time.

Vince: Well, as you all know, my son was attack in my office. He has been rushed to the hospital, but he is fine. Right now, my worry is my Corporation. We've encountered backlash, but I gave you Monday Night RAW! This is the biggest show of the century! And this may very well be the biggest announcement, in the history of the WWF! I introduce to you, the newest member of the Corporation!



J.R: Oh mah gawd! Mah gawd! There's no way! He would never!

Lawler: He has, Ross, he has!

We see Bret standing at the top of the stage, his glasses on, smiling at Mr. McMahon.

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COMMERCIAL BREAK
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J.R: Folks, never in my life would I have thought this night would be as big as it has been, and right now, its time for the main event!



J.R: Those damn Dudley's. We've seen Triangle ladder matches, but I don't think we've ever seen- well, I guess a square ladder match?



J.R: Well, here we go. The two- well, kinda dimwits, I guess- have been in a feud with the Hardyz and the Dudley's since Backlash last year. Neither of these men have ever fought DX before.



Lawler: Ah, the extremely crappy wrestling rejects!

When the DX theme should come, it doesn't.

J.R: where- where is DX?

Then, on the titantron, we see HHH, HBK laying on the floor, bloody and completely KO'd.

Good god, of course this would happen. Jeez. This is sickening, this is what McMahon wants!

When we go back to the action, the men are already fighting- they'd started as soon as the Hardyz hit the ring. Edge is already hitting everyone with a Ladder, D Von was getting hit by the ladder, and everyone else was fighting. The fight kept getting even more grueling, each and every chair shot, each and every ladder hit.

J.R: This match has been almost gruesome so far!

Then the Dudley's hit a 3D on Edge, who nearly flipped over as soon as he (and the table fragments) hit the ring mat. Then the Dudleys climbed to the belts- each one on a ladder. But suddenly, the bloodied DX run in, chairs in each hand. They smash the Dudley's, who fall of the ladder. Then the begin to climb the ladder, blood dripping from their faces in large amounts.



Bret Hart runs out of the curtain to a large pop, followed by McMahon. They both pick up chairs, as DX attempt to get down-






Bret Hart hits Mr McMahon in the stomach with the chair.

The boss goes down, and then finds himself locked in the Sharpshooter.

Lawler: What? I thought-

J.R: It looks like Hart has changed his allegiance- or this was his plan all along!

DX get down the titles, as Mr McMahon escapes.

DX begins climbing, and Mr McMahon is being physically restrained by the Rock. The show ends with a shot of Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels shaking hands.