Immature Things You Do

I wave my hand in front of an automatic door as I walk in to make myself feel like a Jedi.

I'll sing along to all of my Brak CDs in the car on road trips. My nephew is the only one who enjoys it.

Sometimes I'll eat like a 5 year old. Bowl of ice cream for breakfast, can of icing for dinner, etc.

I talk to my sister's dogs in goofy voices, then I say what they're probably thinking in the same voice.

God I wouldn't know where to begin, I'm a very immature person.

I buy wrestling figures.

I enjoy making the occasional prank call to offices, or my old job who were a very crooked "company". They ripped a lot of people off and then cut off their landline, moved office and changed the name of their company etc without telling anyone. Luckily for me I sussed out where their new office was before I ended up leaving and before they could try and rip me off which they did try to do, but since I was one step ahead I paid them a surprise visit and made sure that I left with my money.

Now I've kept their mobile number stored in my phone and torment the hell out of them with prank calls and prank deliveries etc.

I also like to prank people I see in public and with their minds. Whether it be an airhorn, or if someone's walking behind me and I turn a corner I'll run and get out of sight as quickly as I can, I call it "now you see, me now you don't".

Also at night time if someone is walking in front of me and they're acting a little on edge, I'll play a scary song on my phone just to make it more fun.

I don't like my next door neighbour, the guy's a miserable long faced c*nt so I prank him a lot too. One time I ordered deliveries from Pizza Hut, Papa John's, Domino's and the local kebab shop to his address. 30 minutes later 3 of them had formed a queue at his door. I call that synchronized pizza delivery. I did it another time and it was like a revolving door of deliveries, a pizza merry go round, if you will.

Sometimes me and my equally immature friend will walk backwards across the bridge over the motorway just to see people's reactions. The other week we both took turns of diving into this giant bush. We're 23 and 25 years old respectively.

One time I went to the big Christmas Tree at George Square here in Glasgow and stood under it for 10 minutes just pretending to be Kevin McCallister.


I feel very comfortable doing sh*t like this because I feel that I look a lot younger than 23, therefor I can slip under the judgment radar. That, and the fact that I don't care what anyone thinks. I live to have fun, I consider myself a free spirit.

Pull my pants down to my ankles at urinals in public washrooms.

Man, I'm glad I'm not the only one that does this. I do it to red lights too.

If I'm shopping with someone I will put random things in their shopping cart when they aren't watching.

I still watch cartoons. I have seen every episode of both Star Wars Rebels (so far) and Star Wars The Clone Wars.

I have to admit I have done this before, I also played the final count down song in my head during the final seconds, and do a royal rumble countdown.

I regularly post on a forum dedicated to wrestling toys.

I doodle weiners onto labels at work and then cut them out and stick them onto products where it would look funny. And I've done this at three or four different jobs. The pee-pees are rather detailed, too, I'm proud of that.

Poop and pee and sex jokes abound. They're an art and far more sophisticated for me than they should be, but I'm an old pro.