Post by Ace Bennett on Oct 30, 2016 12:42:38 GMT -5
We return to a place where we haven’t been in some time, the isolated woods of MANkato MANnesota. However, these woods are not nearly as manly as they once were. Since the disappearance of Stan McMann, the manliest manly man, things in this once proud wood have changed. Animals now reside in these woods without fear of getting their head removed from their shoulders via machete throw. Women can freely roam the paths created by McMann himself without fear of becoming spontaneously pregnant. Worst of all, flowers have begun to grow in various places, peaking their colorful heads through the once barren soil. FLOWERS. FLOWERS ARE ONE OF THE MOST UNMANLY OBJECTS THAT THIS WORLD HAS CONCEIVED. The forests of MANkato have become flourishing paradises. Flourishing paradises are for un-manly men and women.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck, whose number of points has grown exponentially since we last saw him, has searched high and low for Stan McMann, the manliest manly man. He looked in the Kingdom of Manliness, but when he arrived they were still in rebuilding after what had happened when Stan McMann previously went there. A statue was erected in honor of Stan McMann and his feats of manliness. Next to that was a statue of Stan McMann’s mustache. Huck realized that Stan would not want to add to the destruction and would never come back to the Kingdom of Manliness. Huck then checked all of the Hooters restaurants of the world, because almost nothing is manlier than eating chicken wings with titties in your face. With no luck, Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck had one last idea.
Stan McMann walked away from the WFWF the day he found out he was to face Penny Shannon. Despite being only good for sex and making sandwiches, Stan McMann will not touch a woman with a body part other than his gigantic penis. Real men just mistreat women and make them feel worthless, they don’t hit them. So he sent a much less manly clone of himself in his place as to not have to do what the WFWF wanted him to do. In reality, Huck was surprised that this clone passed as Stan McMann at all, the manliness differential was vast. And of course the bitch loses and makes Stan McMann look back, only adding insult to injury. He hid himself away from the world in solitude, believing everyone to be bitches and not deserving of his manhood.
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: STAN MCMANN, WHERE ART THOU, MOTHER F***ER?
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck called out, his voice echoing against the gargantuan redwood trees. While not as manly as Stan McMann, the manliness of Huck the Seventy Point Buck caused the woods to recoil in fear. Nature is afraid of manliness. However, something was amiss. The air was scented with lilac. Baby rabbits pranced by Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck without as much as a glance. A butterfly lands on the antlers of Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck. There was no way that Stan McMann was here.
: I’ve been expecting you…
Standing before Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck is the cause of all of this unmanliness in MANkato; literally Danny Devito. Seriously. LITERALLY. DANNY. F***ING. DEVITO. Anyone who has given Stan McMann s**t for being dumb needs to look no further than literally Danny Devito over here to see something that is.
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: LITERALLY DANNY DEVITO! WHAT THE F*** ART THEE DOING HERE? THOU ART THE LEAST MANLY BEING IN ALL THE UNIVERSE. THY VERY PRESENCE IN SUCH MANLY LODGING THREATENS THE BONDS BETWEEN SPACE AND TIME
Literally Danny Devito: That’s my plan, if there’s no more universe, than there’s nobody left to make fun of me for being unappealing in every way whatsoever!
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: That seems a bit…..over the top.
Then literally Danny Devito starts having sex with a nearby donkey for some reason. Having sex with a donkey is for non-manly men and- wait. What the f***? Literally Danny Devito is going to town on a donkey. We all knew he had a thing for donkeys, but this is just ridiculous. Animal sex is just gross and is not for anyone ever, not even non-manly men and women.
Once literally Danny Devito stops defiling a donkey, he waddles over to a pile of garbage. Plopping down onto his fat wrinkly ass, he takes a handful of garbage and starts shoveling it into his mouth. And this pile of garbage isn’t even food waste, it’s actual garbage. Taking one last chomp out of a piece of used toilet paper, literally Danny Devito struggles to his feet, likely breaks a hip and starts walking towards Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck.
Literally Danny Devito: RAAAAAARRR I’M A GIANT!
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: I…….I have no words.
Neither do I, this is just s**t I’m getting from this guy’s bio.
As all 4 foot nothing of literally Danny Devito tries to fight Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck with punches that don’t even register in his nervous system, Huck starts to think of an action. While he could very easily drive away such a puny and unmanly donkey f***er, he could not reverse the universe ending damage that has been done to MANkato.
This called for desperate measures. The MAN-SIGNAL
Digging deep down inside of himself Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck lifts up his tail and produces a light from his anus. A light that he knew was to only be used in the most dire of situations. A beam of testosterone so pure that it glowed a bright orange hue, making the symbol of manhood recognized by all.
An I ♥ Mom tattoo. Real men love their mothers.
Screaming in rage, Huck’s anus light sends literally Danny Devito flying back. Even a freak like literally Danny Devito would be in awe of such a manly spectacle.
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: STAN MCMANN, WE NEEDETH THEE IN THIS MOST DIRE TIME.
As Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck musters up all of the manhood within him to send his call, he feels the earth beneath him begin to shake. In the distance, ear piercing orgasms of hundreds of women including your mother and your girlfriend can be heard. Knowing this is a sign that his search has come to an end, Huck puts his tail down and collapses in manly exhaustion that would kill any lesser being.
A stream of pollution fills the sky at speeds only known possible by manly men, so nobody reading this would understand. Just know that f***er is going fast. Approaching quick is a flying Hummer, a vehicle specifically chosen by its pilot for it 0.001 miles per gallon and lack of a muffler. Burning down three ageless trees and doing no less than 35 backflips on his way down, the Hummer lands with an explosion behind it.
The door opens and out steps none other than Stan McMann, the manliest manly man and his GLORIOUS, BUSHY, FULL, MOIST, FLAWLESS, PERFECT, AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, BODACIOUS, INDESCRIBABLE, DESCRIBABLE, BOUNDLESS, IMMEASURABLE, GROOVY, MUSTACHE. Literally Danny Devito grimaces, realizing that his plan to destroy the universe is about to be foiled. He kisses his donkey as he looks up at the manliest man that anyone would be lucky enough to put their eyes.
Stan McMann: Did you just kiss that donkey?
Literally Danny Devito: Please, do what you want with me, but let my wife and children go!
Stan McMann: Children?
Literally Danny Devito reaches behind his donkey wife. Coming up, he has two small…..things in their arms. The half donkey half human children- SPONTANEOUSLY BURST INTO FLAMES ALONG WITH LITERALLY DANNY DEVITO AND HIS DONKEY WIFE AND TURN STRAIGHT TO ASH. A quick investigation would find that they didn’t actually spontaneously combust as Stan McMann is holding a flamethrower which he pulled from his manly tool belt.
Stan McMann: Nope.
Stan McMann approaches Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck, who is now recovered from his exhaustion. Recovering quickly from exhaustion is manly.
Stan McMann: Is that lilac I smell? What has happened here?
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: TIS WORSE THAN I COULDST EVER IMAGINE. WE MIGHT NOT BUT REVERT THIS F***ING WOOD TO ITS PREVIOUS MANLY STATE. THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT, YOU ASS HOLE.
Stan McMann: It will be done.
Stan McMann rips off his flannel, revealing his chiseled muscles and untrimmed chest hair. What a man. He places a pile of unsafe dynamite on the group. Safety is for women and manly men. Pulling a fifth of the finest whiskey from his manly toolbelt, Stan McMann pours it behind him as he walks away from the dynamite on the group. When the bottle empties, he throws the bottle, nailing an stupid rabbit in the face. Pulling a match from his manly toolbelt, he drops it as the trail of whiskey lights of fire. The fire dances towards the dynamite as Stan McMann walks away. The dynamite detonates and Stan McMann does not turn around to look at the explosion. Real men cause explosions and then don’t look at them.
Stan McMann returns to the rushing stream where we originally met him. As if it were written this way as a plot device, two grizzly bears are fighting over a delicious salmon in the water exactly the way they were in Stan McMann’s last adventure to this stream. The bears notice him, but appear to be prepared for a battle this time. The bears instantly transform into GIANT MECHA BEARS somehow. Don’t ask me I’m not a scientist.
GIANT MECHA BEAR 1: WE’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS DAY STAN MCMANN.
GIANT MECHA BEAR 2: PREPARE TO FACE ANNIHILATION.
The first GIANT MECHA BEAR shoots a missile from its shoulder cannon straight at Stan McMann’s manly chiseled face and jaw line. With the reflexes of a manly man, Stan McMann skillfully jumps up into the air. Grabbing the moving missile in his arms, he redirects the missile at the second GIANT MECHA BEAR, blowing it’s head clear from it’s shoulders. The second GIANT MECHA BEAR drops to his knees, clearly unable to live without its head. What a bitch. Stan McMann looks up to the first GIANT MECHA BEAR, unimpressed.
Stan McMann: Anything else?
Without hesitation, the first GIANT MECHA BEAR presses a button on it’s robot bear suit and EXPLODES INTO SEVERAL THOUSAND PIECES. Shrapnel goes everywhere, killing anything within a 750 feet radius except Stan McMann, because shrapnel knows to avoid Stan McMann or Stan McMann will kill it’s family.
??: Oh my goshhhhhh you, like, totes came back-ah.
Stan McMann turns around and sees what can only be described as the most basic bitch he’s ever seen in his life. She is wearing uggs, a North Face jacket, and yoga points.
Stan McMann: Dianne McWomann! The womanliest womanly woman! That would explain the lilac scent!
Dianne McWomann: So like, these woods are mine now so like you need to leaveeeeeee-ah.
Stan McMann: Not gonna happen.
Dianne McWomann: Oh my goshhhhh. Pleeeeeeease. I have to go get a pedicure and I was here first-ah.
Thinking quickly, Stan McMann pulls out a pumpkin spice latte from his manly tool belt that he had for just a situation.
Dianne McWomann: Oh. My God-ah. I love pumpkin spice latteeeeeeees-ah. They remind me of fall. Fall is my favorite season-ah. Like, you totes gotta give me that-ah. Pleeeeeease.
Stan McMann opens the pumpkin spice latte and spills it on the ground.
Dianne McWomann: OHMYGOSHYOUDIDNOTJUSTSPILLTHATPUMPKINSPICELATTEIAMSOTRIGGERREDRIGHTNOWYOU’REGOINGTOMAKEMEHAVEMYPERIODALLOVERMYSELFANDIJUSTWANTEDTODRINKTHATPUMPKINSPICELATTEANDLIKETHATWASSORUDEICAN’TBELIEVEYOUWOULDDOTHATTOMEI’MNEVERGOINGTOTALKTOYOUEVERAGAINLIKEOHMYGODYOUJUST-
To everyone’s delight, Dianne McWomann’s head explodes, increasing the manliest level in the woods tenfold. Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck approaches Stan McMann with a prideful look in his eye.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: THEE HAST DONE IT. THEE HAST SAVED THE UNIVERSE FROM CERTAIN UNMANLY DOOM, MOTHER F***ER.
Stan McMann: I did what had to be done. What was the deal with literally Danny Devito?
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: YOND IS NAY LONGER A CONCERN, BITCH. THE WFWF NEEDS THEE ONE LAST TIME, FORE A THREAT GREATER THAN BE COMPREHENDED IS AFOOT.
Stan McMann: I can’t go back there.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: HIS NAME IS MANTIS TOBOGGAN.
Stan McMann: Wait seriously? I don’t even need to make fun of that name. It’s like he pulled it from a TV show or something.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: HIS IDIOCY AND UNMANLINESS HATH REACHED LEVELS FAR TOO HIGH FOR WFWF TO SUSTAINETH. ONLY A MANLY MAN SUCH AS THEE CAN DISPATCH THIS THREAT.
Stan McMann: I’d love to punch someone with that stupid of a name in the face. I’m in.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: EXCELLENT.
Stan McMann: Unfortunately, this will be our last meeting. I have other things I need to do. The WFWF can’t be saved, there are far too many unmanly men and women there for it’s own good.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: I FEARED YOND THIS DAY WOULD COMETH. I DESPAIR TO SAYETH IT, BUT ALAS, THEE IS CORRECT.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck reaches his hoof up for a handshake. The hoof grows fingers, so that it can properly shake the hand of Stan McMann. With great sorrow, Stan McMann and Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck shake hands as the trees begin to cry like little bitches, knowing these two manly entities will no longer be together. Huck gives Stan McMann one last head nod as his anus rockets begin to fire up.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: STAY MANLY, STAN MCMANN THE MANLIEST MANLY MAN. I WILL NEVER FORGET THEE.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck’s anus rockets ignite and he shoots into the sky, polluting the air around him. Stan McMann smiles, knowing that once he inevitably defeats Mantis Toboggan his work in the WFWF is done. Walking towards the sunset, Stan McMann heads back to his home, like a man, as always.
Thus ends the saga of Stan McMann.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck, whose number of points has grown exponentially since we last saw him, has searched high and low for Stan McMann, the manliest manly man. He looked in the Kingdom of Manliness, but when he arrived they were still in rebuilding after what had happened when Stan McMann previously went there. A statue was erected in honor of Stan McMann and his feats of manliness. Next to that was a statue of Stan McMann’s mustache. Huck realized that Stan would not want to add to the destruction and would never come back to the Kingdom of Manliness. Huck then checked all of the Hooters restaurants of the world, because almost nothing is manlier than eating chicken wings with titties in your face. With no luck, Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck had one last idea.
Stan McMann walked away from the WFWF the day he found out he was to face Penny Shannon. Despite being only good for sex and making sandwiches, Stan McMann will not touch a woman with a body part other than his gigantic penis. Real men just mistreat women and make them feel worthless, they don’t hit them. So he sent a much less manly clone of himself in his place as to not have to do what the WFWF wanted him to do. In reality, Huck was surprised that this clone passed as Stan McMann at all, the manliness differential was vast. And of course the bitch loses and makes Stan McMann look back, only adding insult to injury. He hid himself away from the world in solitude, believing everyone to be bitches and not deserving of his manhood.
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: STAN MCMANN, WHERE ART THOU, MOTHER F***ER?
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck called out, his voice echoing against the gargantuan redwood trees. While not as manly as Stan McMann, the manliness of Huck the Seventy Point Buck caused the woods to recoil in fear. Nature is afraid of manliness. However, something was amiss. The air was scented with lilac. Baby rabbits pranced by Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck without as much as a glance. A butterfly lands on the antlers of Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck. There was no way that Stan McMann was here.
: I’ve been expecting you…Standing before Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck is the cause of all of this unmanliness in MANkato; literally Danny Devito. Seriously. LITERALLY. DANNY. F***ING. DEVITO. Anyone who has given Stan McMann s**t for being dumb needs to look no further than literally Danny Devito over here to see something that is.
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: LITERALLY DANNY DEVITO! WHAT THE F*** ART THEE DOING HERE? THOU ART THE LEAST MANLY BEING IN ALL THE UNIVERSE. THY VERY PRESENCE IN SUCH MANLY LODGING THREATENS THE BONDS BETWEEN SPACE AND TIME
Literally Danny Devito: That’s my plan, if there’s no more universe, than there’s nobody left to make fun of me for being unappealing in every way whatsoever!
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: That seems a bit…..over the top.
Then literally Danny Devito starts having sex with a nearby donkey for some reason. Having sex with a donkey is for non-manly men and- wait. What the f***? Literally Danny Devito is going to town on a donkey. We all knew he had a thing for donkeys, but this is just ridiculous. Animal sex is just gross and is not for anyone ever, not even non-manly men and women.
Once literally Danny Devito stops defiling a donkey, he waddles over to a pile of garbage. Plopping down onto his fat wrinkly ass, he takes a handful of garbage and starts shoveling it into his mouth. And this pile of garbage isn’t even food waste, it’s actual garbage. Taking one last chomp out of a piece of used toilet paper, literally Danny Devito struggles to his feet, likely breaks a hip and starts walking towards Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck.
Literally Danny Devito: RAAAAAARRR I’M A GIANT!
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: I…….I have no words.
Neither do I, this is just s**t I’m getting from this guy’s bio.
As all 4 foot nothing of literally Danny Devito tries to fight Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck with punches that don’t even register in his nervous system, Huck starts to think of an action. While he could very easily drive away such a puny and unmanly donkey f***er, he could not reverse the universe ending damage that has been done to MANkato.
This called for desperate measures. The MAN-SIGNAL
Digging deep down inside of himself Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck lifts up his tail and produces a light from his anus. A light that he knew was to only be used in the most dire of situations. A beam of testosterone so pure that it glowed a bright orange hue, making the symbol of manhood recognized by all.
An I ♥ Mom tattoo. Real men love their mothers.
Screaming in rage, Huck’s anus light sends literally Danny Devito flying back. Even a freak like literally Danny Devito would be in awe of such a manly spectacle.
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: STAN MCMANN, WE NEEDETH THEE IN THIS MOST DIRE TIME.
As Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck musters up all of the manhood within him to send his call, he feels the earth beneath him begin to shake. In the distance, ear piercing orgasms of hundreds of women including your mother and your girlfriend can be heard. Knowing this is a sign that his search has come to an end, Huck puts his tail down and collapses in manly exhaustion that would kill any lesser being.
A stream of pollution fills the sky at speeds only known possible by manly men, so nobody reading this would understand. Just know that f***er is going fast. Approaching quick is a flying Hummer, a vehicle specifically chosen by its pilot for it 0.001 miles per gallon and lack of a muffler. Burning down three ageless trees and doing no less than 35 backflips on his way down, the Hummer lands with an explosion behind it.
The door opens and out steps none other than Stan McMann, the manliest manly man and his GLORIOUS, BUSHY, FULL, MOIST, FLAWLESS, PERFECT, AMAZING, INCREDIBLE, BODACIOUS, INDESCRIBABLE, DESCRIBABLE, BOUNDLESS, IMMEASURABLE, GROOVY, MUSTACHE. Literally Danny Devito grimaces, realizing that his plan to destroy the universe is about to be foiled. He kisses his donkey as he looks up at the manliest man that anyone would be lucky enough to put their eyes.
Stan McMann: Did you just kiss that donkey?
Literally Danny Devito: Please, do what you want with me, but let my wife and children go!
Stan McMann: Children?
Literally Danny Devito reaches behind his donkey wife. Coming up, he has two small…..things in their arms. The half donkey half human children- SPONTANEOUSLY BURST INTO FLAMES ALONG WITH LITERALLY DANNY DEVITO AND HIS DONKEY WIFE AND TURN STRAIGHT TO ASH. A quick investigation would find that they didn’t actually spontaneously combust as Stan McMann is holding a flamethrower which he pulled from his manly tool belt.
Stan McMann: Nope.
Stan McMann approaches Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck, who is now recovered from his exhaustion. Recovering quickly from exhaustion is manly.
Stan McMann: Is that lilac I smell? What has happened here?
Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: TIS WORSE THAN I COULDST EVER IMAGINE. WE MIGHT NOT BUT REVERT THIS F***ING WOOD TO ITS PREVIOUS MANLY STATE. THE FATE OF THE WORLD DEPENDS ON IT, YOU ASS HOLE.
Stan McMann: It will be done.
Stan McMann rips off his flannel, revealing his chiseled muscles and untrimmed chest hair. What a man. He places a pile of unsafe dynamite on the group. Safety is for women and manly men. Pulling a fifth of the finest whiskey from his manly toolbelt, Stan McMann pours it behind him as he walks away from the dynamite on the group. When the bottle empties, he throws the bottle, nailing an stupid rabbit in the face. Pulling a match from his manly toolbelt, he drops it as the trail of whiskey lights of fire. The fire dances towards the dynamite as Stan McMann walks away. The dynamite detonates and Stan McMann does not turn around to look at the explosion. Real men cause explosions and then don’t look at them.
Stan McMann returns to the rushing stream where we originally met him. As if it were written this way as a plot device, two grizzly bears are fighting over a delicious salmon in the water exactly the way they were in Stan McMann’s last adventure to this stream. The bears notice him, but appear to be prepared for a battle this time. The bears instantly transform into GIANT MECHA BEARS somehow. Don’t ask me I’m not a scientist.
GIANT MECHA BEAR 1: WE’VE BEEN TRAINING FOR THIS DAY STAN MCMANN.
GIANT MECHA BEAR 2: PREPARE TO FACE ANNIHILATION.
The first GIANT MECHA BEAR shoots a missile from its shoulder cannon straight at Stan McMann’s manly chiseled face and jaw line. With the reflexes of a manly man, Stan McMann skillfully jumps up into the air. Grabbing the moving missile in his arms, he redirects the missile at the second GIANT MECHA BEAR, blowing it’s head clear from it’s shoulders. The second GIANT MECHA BEAR drops to his knees, clearly unable to live without its head. What a bitch. Stan McMann looks up to the first GIANT MECHA BEAR, unimpressed.
Stan McMann: Anything else?
Without hesitation, the first GIANT MECHA BEAR presses a button on it’s robot bear suit and EXPLODES INTO SEVERAL THOUSAND PIECES. Shrapnel goes everywhere, killing anything within a 750 feet radius except Stan McMann, because shrapnel knows to avoid Stan McMann or Stan McMann will kill it’s family.
??: Oh my goshhhhhh you, like, totes came back-ah.
Stan McMann turns around and sees what can only be described as the most basic bitch he’s ever seen in his life. She is wearing uggs, a North Face jacket, and yoga points.
Stan McMann: Dianne McWomann! The womanliest womanly woman! That would explain the lilac scent!
Dianne McWomann: So like, these woods are mine now so like you need to leaveeeeeee-ah.
Stan McMann: Not gonna happen.
Dianne McWomann: Oh my goshhhhh. Pleeeeeeease. I have to go get a pedicure and I was here first-ah.
Thinking quickly, Stan McMann pulls out a pumpkin spice latte from his manly tool belt that he had for just a situation.
Dianne McWomann: Oh. My God-ah. I love pumpkin spice latteeeeeeees-ah. They remind me of fall. Fall is my favorite season-ah. Like, you totes gotta give me that-ah. Pleeeeeease.
Stan McMann opens the pumpkin spice latte and spills it on the ground.
Dianne McWomann: OHMYGOSHYOUDIDNOTJUSTSPILLTHATPUMPKINSPICELATTEIAMSOTRIGGERREDRIGHTNOWYOU’REGOINGTOMAKEMEHAVEMYPERIODALLOVERMYSELFANDIJUSTWANTEDTODRINKTHATPUMPKINSPICELATTEANDLIKETHATWASSORUDEICAN’TBELIEVEYOUWOULDDOTHATTOMEI’MNEVERGOINGTOTALKTOYOUEVERAGAINLIKEOHMYGODYOUJUST-
To everyone’s delight, Dianne McWomann’s head explodes, increasing the manliest level in the woods tenfold. Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck approaches Stan McMann with a prideful look in his eye.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: THEE HAST DONE IT. THEE HAST SAVED THE UNIVERSE FROM CERTAIN UNMANLY DOOM, MOTHER F***ER.
Stan McMann: I did what had to be done. What was the deal with literally Danny Devito?
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: YOND IS NAY LONGER A CONCERN, BITCH. THE WFWF NEEDS THEE ONE LAST TIME, FORE A THREAT GREATER THAN BE COMPREHENDED IS AFOOT.
Stan McMann: I can’t go back there.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: HIS NAME IS MANTIS TOBOGGAN.
Stan McMann: Wait seriously? I don’t even need to make fun of that name. It’s like he pulled it from a TV show or something.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: HIS IDIOCY AND UNMANLINESS HATH REACHED LEVELS FAR TOO HIGH FOR WFWF TO SUSTAINETH. ONLY A MANLY MAN SUCH AS THEE CAN DISPATCH THIS THREAT.
Stan McMann: I’d love to punch someone with that stupid of a name in the face. I’m in.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: EXCELLENT.
Stan McMann: Unfortunately, this will be our last meeting. I have other things I need to do. The WFWF can’t be saved, there are far too many unmanly men and women there for it’s own good.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: I FEARED YOND THIS DAY WOULD COMETH. I DESPAIR TO SAYETH IT, BUT ALAS, THEE IS CORRECT.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck reaches his hoof up for a handshake. The hoof grows fingers, so that it can properly shake the hand of Stan McMann. With great sorrow, Stan McMann and Huck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck shake hands as the trees begin to cry like little bitches, knowing these two manly entities will no longer be together. Huck gives Stan McMann one last head nod as his anus rockets begin to fire up.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck: STAY MANLY, STAN MCMANN THE MANLIEST MANLY MAN. I WILL NEVER FORGET THEE.
Buck the Bearded Seventy Point Buck’s anus rockets ignite and he shoots into the sky, polluting the air around him. Stan McMann smiles, knowing that once he inevitably defeats Mantis Toboggan his work in the WFWF is done. Walking towards the sunset, Stan McMann heads back to his home, like a man, as always.
Thus ends the saga of Stan McMann.
I dont know good luck 
ING HAPPY you agreed to do this match. I didn't expect you to out yourself until you told me, and we tossed around ideas until this one stuck, but I'm glad you did. What you've done as Stan is truly remarkable, and you deserve the praise. Stan is the absolutely most ridiculous comedy character to ever come to WFWF, and that's saying something considering Johnny Michaels Johnny Michaels Johnny Michaels and Kronik Kronik Kronik existed (they say if you say their names three times they show up) and we had a giant chicken nugget and milkshake tag team once. But even as ridiculous as Stan is, like I told you before, you were absolutely a force to be reckoned with and that you could have been in the world title hunt at some point with this character because as obnoxious as it is, it's equally as well written.
