WFWF Heading West: You Can't Turn Him Into A W****

Often, as important as the message, is how it's delivered.

At Confluence, Frank Lynn and I, we sent a real message. A message to every WFWF fan, every 'entertainer' who's tried to stand in our way, every Sean Casey or Danny Young who's just finding their footing in this promotion, looking for people to look up to.

We left everything we had in that ring, we put on one of the greatest matches in WFWF history, and, at when all was said and done, yes, it was my arm that was raised. But we were both winners. Everybody in that arena was a winner, even those fans who had to pay to watch at home could feel like winners. Even if, once upon a time, they'd have gotten it for free.

That match, that was the f***ing message. That was the f*** you to Lila Sleater, and David Brennan, and Trace Demon, and everyone else who's tried to stand in between us and a better WFWF.

So God knows why Frank Lynn's little buddy who thinks she's a wrestler, felt the need to water it down. To tarnish what would have been one of the best nights in the sport's history with that #bringdownthesystembybuyingmyrevolutiontshirtandthecoolposterwithfranklynnposingallcheguevaralikeonthefront horse s***.

The 'revolution' should not be a brand, or a marketing tool, or something we try to sell to impressionable teenagers on social media. It's something we should be offering to real wrestling fans, by performing as best we can in a f***ing wrestling ring. Nothing more, nothing less. And believe me, do that, and the people who truly love this sport will flock to it.

And the people who don't, the people who've bought the PPV 'cause they're too good at capitalism and they've got too much disposable income while there's people out there starving to death. The people who've got their twitter feed up scrolling through pictures of self-obsessed selfie taking c***s while the best sport in the world is on, they can f*** right off and let us get on with it. Because no, we're not trying to appeal to them, we're trying to get them to stop, so that businessmen and women will stop toning down our sport to appease the f***ers.

It's not f***ing rocket science.

If you want to sell Liverpool tickets you don't advertise them in the f***ing Sun.

And we aren't gonna change wrestling by tying a genuinely positive movement, to a social trend.

I recruited you 'cause I think you're a bright guy Frank. I think you see things the way they are, and the way they should be.

Please, please, for the love of God, don't let that woman take you down with her. She doesn't know what the f*** she's doing.

Don't take my word for it. Read through her tweets and try not to stab your own eyes out.

You won't last five minutes.

---

Shuggy: We should probably talk.

Poppy Yates: Yeah. Or you know, not.

Shuggy: Seriously.

Cannae jus' pretend this didnae happen.

Poppy Yates: There's really nothing to talk about.

Shuggy: Look I know we both care about what Joe thinks, but we gotta ta...

Poppy Yates: Look, Hugh, I feel like s*** right now. Don't mean to be rude, but, leave me the f*** alone.

Great.

---

David Brennan.

Has he retired already or am I missing something?

It's just I've not seen the #1 contender to the World Heavyweigtht Championship, the most highly valued prize in professional wrestling, doing much, well, wrestling.

What has the International Champion, Tag Team Champion, #1 Contender, Hall of Famer been doing instead?

My best guess, based on what we have seen him doing at WFWF Pay-per-views, is that he's preparing for a career in some s***ty soap opera once this whole wrestling lark is finished.

Actually, that's probably not entirely fair, if the last few weeks are anything to go by he'll make a f***ing fine actor.

I mean, I've not been convinced. But I'm starting to feel more and more like I'm the only one who isn't. Like I'm the only human being on this whole planet who can see the blindingly f***ing obvious.

You two really have got everyone fooled with this 'Lila hates Dave, Dave hates Lila' routine. It's so polished, such a brilliant act – really – you should both be proud.

But it's not gonna work.

Not on me.

You can convince every other f***er who cares, but you aren't about to convince me that this phoney tit for tat bull is anything other than a work. A way of lulling me into a false sense of security before Lila f***s me out of my title and David Brennan finally gets his big undeserved moment.

Well sorry, but the big party you two've got planned, it ain't f***ing happening.

I have worked too hard, for way too f***ing long, to let some business woman decide that I can't have my title and I can't change the sport 'cause she'd rather the safe pair of hands recovering alcoholic with the mindless violence problem as the figurehead of her company.

You keep talking and whining Dave, and you think it'll disguise the fact that you're plotting. But I've seen this s*** way too many times before to fall for it. I've seen your mentors do it. I've been, alongside Trace Demon, part of it.

I'm not gonna fall for it.

While you've been yap, yap, yapping, I have been win, win, winning

And whatever the f*** you and Lila Sleater have planned for Pacific Rim, that ain't about to stop.

---

Poppy Yates: *Blergh*

Lovely, the world is conspiring against me and there's a journalist throwing up in my bathroom.

Still, gotta get by on little victories like that I suppose.

Karma in action.

Joe Bishop: You alright?

Poppy Yates: Do I sound, *blergh*, alright?

In my defence she's always asking me helpful questions...

Joe Bishop: Not especially.

Poppy Yates: What do you want Joe?

Ideally I'd like her to stop chucking up in my flat, but I can't see that happening.

Joe Bishop: Nothing, just wondered what was up.

Poppy Yates: Nothing... *blergh*

Shoo.

Poppy Yates: You alright?

Joe Bishop: Yep.

Sort of.

Joe Bishop: I mean, I've got allies who want to get the revolution trending rather than actualize it, a crooked boss who's giving the #1 contender weeks to recuperate and prepare for his shot at me, and a journalist's invaded my house but otherwise... well... I'm feeling about as well as you actually.

Poppy Yates: Hilarious.

Joe Bishop: Yep. Everything's f***ed. Great fun isn't it?

Poppy Yates: Seriously I'm really sick, can you please just hold off on this breakdown?

Joe Bishop: I'm fine.

Poppy Yates: You're sick.

Joe Bishop: Pot kettle.

Poppy Yates: Seriously Joe, this is some proper conspiracy theorist nonsense you've been dribbling about lately.

Joe Bishop: What is?

Poppy Yates: This Lila/Brennan narrative you've come up with.

Joe Bishop: It's the only thing that makes sense.

Poppy Yates: And don't even get me started on the Revolution s***. You believe in this c**p but nobodies allowed to try and spread the word? You and your wrestling-intellectual buddies sit at the top table b****ing about the state of the affairs, while the masses have to live in blissful ignorance, is that the plan?

Umm let me think...

Poppy Yates: Or is it that you just can't stand the fact Frank and Daphne, whether they believe this s*** as deeply as you or not, are getting off their arses and doing something about it.

Joe Bishop: And I'm not?

Poppy Yates: No, you're not.

There was me thinking I'd just won the Supreme Gauntlet at Ultimate Supremacy (the clues in the title) and the World Championship. Must have dreamt all of that.

Poppy Yates: That's it isn't it? You've spent so long recruiting Frank Lynn to your cause, but you don't really want him. You don't want anyone who's gonna get in the way of your revolution, to try and bring their ideas to the table. 'cause it's all about you and how f***ing special you are.

I take it back, go back to vomiting please. It's a lot less objectionable than the c**p coming out now.

Poppy Yates: You're a complete f***ing mess.

---

I'm gonna be honest here man, I don't know why you're here.

No offence Danny. I'm sure you're a real talented kid. And I'm sure that, one day, you might just be fit to share this ring with me.

But right now?

Come on.

I'm the World Heavyweight Champion. I am the best wrestler in the world. I am one of a shrinking number of athletes in the WFWF, drowning under a sea of 'entertainers' and 'rookies' and Clockwork Orange style 'droogs'. And you, you appear to be all f***ing three rolled into one intolerable package. You can't even decide how you want to piss me off properly.

You don't belong in this ring with me, certainly not yet. And I can only imagine you're getting the chance because a) Lila can't risk me blowing my hot streak and tanking the real PPV buy rate, and b) you might just snap after eating a third successive defeat and do some damage to me before Brennan's big crowning glory.

I guess Lila's looking for anything that might help Brennan get over the line, but honestly, you? You're not gonna do it. Not even gonna be close.

Don't mean to sound arrogant or anything like that, that's not who I am. But let's just be honest shall we?

You've lost to Sean Casey, you've lost to Anna Ahriman (and come on, let's be grown ups about this – doesn't matter if you ate the pin or not, you lost both times). I've beaten Sean Casey and Anna Ahriman.

Now I'm not saying it's that straightforward. Upsets happen, shocks happen, surprises happen.

But not on this scale.

Not three matches into your WFWF career against the best wrestler in the world.

It just ain't happening.

You can say you're gonna do it, or be honest and admit you just want to put up a good fight. You can throw everything you've got into it, or you can sit back take it easy this week. Won't make a difference to the outcome.

You're looking at being pinned for the first time and losing for the third, because me? I don't know if you've noticed or not, but I'm the best wrestler in the world. In spite of Lila Sleater, and David Brennan, and Trace Demon, and The Future and everybody elses best efforts, I am the WFWF.

Me.

Joe Bishop.

World Champion.

At the end of day, sorry but, you're gonna be laying down in the middle of that ring, looking up at the lights. And the little voice in your head, that inner monologue we've all got, it's gonna be saying 'what the f*** made me think I could step into that ring with Joe Bishop'.

But hey, don't worry about it, everyone asks themselves that question sooner or later.

That's just how this place works.

---

Poppy Yates: We need to talk.

Seriously?

Shuggy: About?

She removed her arm from 'hind her back, holding...

S***

Poppy Yates: This.

Pregnant.


OOC: Meh. Original plans didn't work out, then I couldn't settle on anything and other things have kind of taken over (I'll imminently be starting an apprenticeship and hopefully a masters *gulp*) so enjoy thrown together bits that at least set up most of what I wanted set up for the PPV if I have time to do that match jsutice. I'm knackered. Meh.