Post by dancs1985 on Mar 15, 2018 9:19:19 GMT -5
We knew Linda McMahon was at WWF New York meeting with fans the night after the Survivor Series. But what if she was at Raw instead of her husband Vince?
Raw
November 19, 2001
Charlotte Coliseum in Charlotte, NC
Earlier today inside of a restaurant in downtown Charlotte, Linda is sitting down and enjoying her lunch. She notices Mick and invites him to sit. "Hi Mick! You hungry?" "No, no. Linda, I – I'm not hungry; as a matter of fact I don't want anything from you, except maybe...maybe a moment of your time. When I first came to the WWF five years ago, it was guys like me with my blood and my sweat and my tears that help make this company what it is today, right?" "You're right about that Mick!" "Hahahaha - that's indicative of why you are who your husband Vince is. A billionaire! He owns his corporate jet, he's the pioneer of sports entertainment. You know how I think you should be remembered, Linda? I have no grudge against you, because after all we're friends and I have the upmost respect for you. But the one person that I don't have the upmost respect for is you husband Vince. His greatest accomplishment - was the fact that your husband, that scumbag piece of garbage, singlehandedly, took a guy who loves this company, who'd do anything for 'em, risked his life defended this company, was able to take that guy and he made him no longer care - and I'm talkin' about me, Linda. Are you up on your philosophers? A little Plato for ya, how 'bout this - power should be confined to those who are not in love with it. Does that hit home for you, Linda? That hit home, you know what that means, it means I'm not gonna stick around and wait for the WWF to go six feet under because of your husband - which means the right thing to do is to step down as the WWF Commissioner. It means, Linda McMahon, that I resign." "...you resign." "I resign." "You can't resign, Mick. We need you" "Why can't I resign, Linda?" "'cause, Mick Foley, you are--" "WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT - wait wait wait - are you gonna try to convince me to stay? Would that make you feel good inside, would that make you feel happy, well I'll tell you what, Linda, I'm not going to stick around and watch the company crumble to the ground, you know why? Because the outcome is exactly the same - the outcome is, when I get up out of this chair and I step foot out of this restaurant, I no longer work for the WWF. I no longer answer to your husband. It means, Linda, that him and I are through for good, and that's not a bad thing - (smile) - it's a good thing." "Hey Mick, I accept your resignation, I wish you nothing but the best, take care, and good luck and in your own words ....have a nice day." They hug and Mick leaves the restaurant while Linda continues her lunch.
Linda McMahon's music blared over the speakers as she made her way down to the ring high fiving the fans. She grabs the mic and says “What's up Charlotte?” The sellout crowd at the coliseum roars to her response. "Oh yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.” As she smiled with a big grin.
“Even though Mick Foley stepped down as the commissioner of the WWF, tonight is a night for CELEBRATION! Because the World Wrestling Federation survived the Survivor Series. And with that in mind, we owe one man a debt of gratitude perhaps we will never be able to repay. The one man who, more than any other, showed his true colors. The one man who, more than any other, deserves your accolades, deserves your applause here tonight. And that one man...is Kurt Angle! Because of Kurt Angle, the Alliance is dead. Because of Kurt Angle, ECW is dead. Because of Kurt Angle, Dubya See Dubya is dead. The only remnant of WCW that still exists is the championship that's wrapped around The Rock's waist. And from this night forward, will no longer be known as the WCW title; no, it's simply known as the World Championship. Yes, not only are we making changes in titles here - tonight, there's gonna be lots of dramatic, drastic changes that take place right here tonight. One of those changes will be, right here in this ring, the first member you will witness who will join the Linda McMahon Kiss My Feet club. Now, maybe you've never heard of that club. It just started this morning. See, that club is simply this: I'm allowing one member of the Alliance who seeks to be employed by the WWF....that one member... ["RVD" chant] ...that one member of the Alliance who is not a champion (and by the way, the champions are already in the WWF) that one member will walk into this ring and literally kiss Mrs. McMahon's feet. But speaking of the Alliance...oh...that's nothing. That's nothing than what's in store for the leader of the Alliance. The moment Stone Cold Steve Austin walks into this building tonight, I will execute my plans. Oh, it's gonna be a grand night. What? And speaking of changes, you would note there's an empty chair next to good old JR. Hello, JR!" “Hi Linda”. "Well right now I'd like to address that empty chair. Just to show you that I am a benevolent individual, and not the tyrant that many people think, I would now like to invite into the ring...I would like to invite into the ring PAUL HEYMAN. Come on down, Paul. ... Paul Heyman, come on down!" "Theme Extreme" plays and here he is - complete with WWF baseball cap. Heyman grabs the headset and crows "I got away with it!" "Paul - hey, Paul - come up here for a minute. Come here." "I'll be right back." "Come on in! You know I, uh, just for the record, I appreciate people who speak their mind." "That's me! And I can do it RIGHT THERE for you." "Yeah? And uh, and you know I remember some of the things you said about me just the other day. I'm all right with that. I'm a first amendment advocate." "Yes you are! And the best one out there." "So....exercising the benefit of my first amendment rights, I would like to inform you that...YOU'RE FIRED. Get the hell out of my ring. You're fired! Get outta my ring!" Crowd starts to sing "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye" as Heyman throws down his trenchcoat and dares Linda to get her some. Linda removes her jacket and her earrings...and Paul leaves the ring. Heyman slowly walks round...then turns back and leaps over the table at Ross! Unfortunately, he didn't think it through real well - Ross lays in several kidney punches before security marshal their forces and remove Heyman forcibly up the ramp. "Allow me to introduce you, Mr. Heyman, to your replacement. Come on down, JERRY 'THE KING' LAWLER!" One last funny facial expression from Heyman before he's removed - and Lawler wastes no time mugging at Heyman, mugging to the crowd, and generally mugging. Ross: "There is a God!" "I hope that idiot hasn't screwed up this chair so bad so that nobody can do this...but JR, it's good to be the King and the King is back. And let me say this very quickly, JR, you and I have known each other for a long time, and I say this from the bottom of my heart: it's over between me and you. You understand that? We don't see eye to eye on much...so don't - don't get started, JR. WOO HOO!"
We look outside - a car pulls up...but it's not Austin, it's Shane and Stephanie. "I can't believe we had to drive ourselves, Shane. Why do you think Mom wants us here in the first place?" "I don't know - let's go." "Do you think maybe she's gonna give us our jobs back?" "Let's go."
Linda is again in the ring when we return from the commercial break. "Well, we've got a lot of business to conduct here tonight - already conducted some - much more to come. And since it looks like we're gonna have a world championship match right here in this ring, Kurt Angle versus the Rock tonight...I'd like to continue with some other business.
Unfortunately, Stone Cold is not here as of yet - but I couldn't help but notice who just arrived. So, therefore, I would like to uh...request that my son and my daughter, Shane and Stephanie McMahon come to the ring at this moment. No music, no fanfare, Shane, Steph, come on out." Arm in arm, here they be. "Let's here it for SHANE & STEPHANIE McMAHON!" Crowd works up a "slut" chant.
Shane and Stephanie cautiously came out to the ring, surveying the crowd, to jeers and boos. As expected, Stephanie received several 'slut' chants, which was an equal number to the 'Shane's a ****!' chants her brother received.
Shane and Stephanie cautiously came out to the ring, surveying the crowd, to jeers and boos. As expected, Stephanie received several 'slut' chants, which was an equal number to the 'Shane's a ****!' chants her brother received.
"I can't tell you how proud I am as a mother to hear a jam-packed arena shout the chant of 'slut' to my daughter! and Shane's a **** to my son! that makes me SO proud!” “What has happened to us? What has happened to our family? Well before I give the two of you a piece of my mind, I'll give you an opportunity to speak yours first - and Stephanie, we'll start with you."
Stephanie was very calm about the situation. "Congratulations, Mom. You won, and I lost… and I lost, to the better woman." And with that she handed the mic back to Linda and left the ring, ignoring the ongoing 'slut' chants as she headed backstage and exited the building.
Linda continued and locked eyes with Shane. "Alright... Shane," she paused for a moment, "this is your time to speak."
Shane grabbed the microphone from his mother, and stared her dead in the eyes. "You listen here, Mom, and you listen good. This isn't over between the two of us. I may be leaving now, but this isn't the last you'll see from Shane McMahon. You will regret your mistake of firing me; so, you'd better absorb all because a little while from now, it's going to come back… and bite you in the ass." "Who the hell Shane thinks he is talking to her like that?" said J.R.
Linda's eyes widened at the last remark. She was astonished at what she was hearing. "Is that right, Shane?" she taunted. "I'm going to regret the decision of firing you?"
Shane nodded. "You're goddamn right you're gonna regret this." He stopped for a brief second. "Oh, and just to leave on a high note, here's a little taste of what you'll be receiving in the near future, courtesy of your son."
Shane dropped the mic and attempted to throw a right hand at Linda, but she blocked it and pounded him in the face with a right hand of her own, knocking him down.
Linda's face reddened from anger as she picked up the mic. "Security, get this piece of trash out of here!" She yelled in her devilish voice. "I never want to see that piece of dogcrap in my ring ever again!"
J.R says that Shane's getting his comeuppance for everything that he put her thru for five months.
Roughly six security guards slid into the ring and easily knocked Shane out of it. He tried punching and kicking, but it was no use. The number of security guards were too much for him to handle.
Linda's theme blasted over the speakers as she waved good-bye to Shane while he was being forcefully ejected out of the building. The CEO of the World Wrestling Federation returned backstage as RAW headed to commercial.
Linda continued and locked eyes with Shane. "Alright... Shane," she paused for a moment, "this is your time to speak."
Shane grabbed the microphone from his mother, and stared her dead in the eyes. "You listen here, Mom, and you listen good. This isn't over between the two of us. I may be leaving now, but this isn't the last you'll see from Shane McMahon. You will regret your mistake of firing me; so, you'd better absorb all because a little while from now, it's going to come back… and bite you in the ass." "Who the hell Shane thinks he is talking to her like that?" said J.R.
Linda's eyes widened at the last remark. She was astonished at what she was hearing. "Is that right, Shane?" she taunted. "I'm going to regret the decision of firing you?"
Shane nodded. "You're goddamn right you're gonna regret this." He stopped for a brief second. "Oh, and just to leave on a high note, here's a little taste of what you'll be receiving in the near future, courtesy of your son."
Shane dropped the mic and attempted to throw a right hand at Linda, but she blocked it and pounded him in the face with a right hand of her own, knocking him down.
Linda's face reddened from anger as she picked up the mic. "Security, get this piece of trash out of here!" She yelled in her devilish voice. "I never want to see that piece of dogcrap in my ring ever again!"
J.R says that Shane's getting his comeuppance for everything that he put her thru for five months.
Roughly six security guards slid into the ring and easily knocked Shane out of it. He tried punching and kicking, but it was no use. The number of security guards were too much for him to handle.
Linda's theme blasted over the speakers as she waved good-bye to Shane while he was being forcefully ejected out of the building. The CEO of the World Wrestling Federation returned backstage as RAW headed to commercial.
Once again, we return to a ring containing Linda while her music is playing.
"All right...get your cameras ready. This is gonna be a Kodak moment. Again, I'm still awaiting the arrival of Stone Cold Steve Austin; however, to bide my time, perhaps now would be a time to find out just whom I have selected from the Alliance to give employment - to find out just whom I have selected to join the Linda McMahon Kiss My Feet Club! So, with that in mind, please welcome......WILLIAM REGAL!" Regal slowly ambles down the ramp. "Come along, Mr. Regal, chop chop, come on, chop chop, we don't have all night. Let's get this over with. I assume, Mr. Regal, that you've been practicing puckering in the locker room area. And you are here to seek employment, you are here to kiss my feet, right?" "Would you like me to make the ring, or fix the lighting, I can carry your bags for you, fetch your coffee or something...what do you want?" "No no no, you don't understand. I meant it when I said if you want to be employed by the World Wrestling Federation, you must kiss my feet, both of them. Here." "You don't literally mean I've got to kiss your feet in front of all these people." "That's EXACTLY what I mean! Do you want a job or not? Yes...or no 'cause if you don't want it, there's a whole line of Alliance guys back there willing to kiss my feet. So what is it, Regal, yes...or no?" "You don't have to." "...yes." "Yes, good, so let's get to it, shall we?" Linda removes her shoes. "First of all, let me take my shoes off. JR, you'll - you and the King will have to pardon me for a minute. Now you may want to get on this side because it wouldn't be proper to be on that side. You may want to, uh, kinda get down here...*on your knees* - right over here, right there, that's a good spot, right there. Go ahead. It won't hurt. It doesn't hurt." Regal takes a knee. "All right then...pucker up..." Linda sticks it out. "Oh wait, wait, wait, it gets better than that." Linda removes her socks. "You do wanna be employed, don't you? So uh..." Linda stands in the ring barefoot waiting on Regal. "Go ahead - go ahead, kiss my feet. Come on. Pucker up - oh no no no, it gets better than that." Linda lifts her feet up to Regal's face. "Go ahead! It's a nice looking foot! And watch, I can even make my feet do tricks, watch this." Linda...flicks her toes. "Go ahead - kiss my feet! Oh wait a minute, wait a minute...I'm not about to let anybody kiss my feet who has chapped lips." Linda prefers Chapstick. "Put it on." Regal reacts just about as your imagination might have you expect. "Put it on, let's get this over with!" Balm applied, Regal makes a look like he's - he's been smelling...your torso. "All right, now dammit, kiss - my - feet." Regal puckers - Linda hits the royal pose - Regal finally quickly makes contact to the delight of the crowd – and JR and Lawler finds the biggest octave. Play Linda's music yet again Here's your replay, complete with Lawler-provided sound effect. Linda makes another show out of putting her socks and shoes back on.
At WWF New York in Times Square, Inside is Triple H. "What am I doing now? I'm biding my time. I'm waiting for the perfect moment to come back and get my revenge, and believe me, JR, I will have it. 'cause truth be told, I'm the biggest star in this damn company. So all of you enjoy it now, because soon I will be back and I will wreak havoc on everybody!!!" "Hey Hunter! When you're finished mopping the floor, there's a toilet in the back that ain't gonna unclog itself!"
The King is laughing at because Triple H is now working as a janitor at WWF New York.
At WWF New York in Times Square, Inside is Triple H. "What am I doing now? I'm biding my time. I'm waiting for the perfect moment to come back and get my revenge, and believe me, JR, I will have it. 'cause truth be told, I'm the biggest star in this damn company. So all of you enjoy it now, because soon I will be back and I will wreak havoc on everybody!!!" "Hey Hunter! When you're finished mopping the floor, there's a toilet in the back that ain't gonna unclog itself!"
The King is laughing at because Triple H is now working as a janitor at WWF New York.
Kurt Angle and Linda McMahon walk out to Angle's music - Linda carries the WWF Championship belt over her shoulder. Apparently, after clocking Austin with that very same belt, Angle kinda walked off with it after Survivor Series ended - which is how it got back to Vince...and, apparently, will soon get back to Angle.
"I would just like to say, on behalf of every World Wrestling Federation fan in this arena and everybody watching at home on television, I would like to say, I would like to say to Kurt Angle...thank you! No no, let me repeat that. On behalf of EVERY person in this arena and everybody watching on television, thank you, Kurt Angle!" Crowd boos louder. "Kurt Angle is an Olympic Hero, he's an American Hero, he's a WWF Hero and by God, like it or not, he's YOUR hero! And since Stone Cold Steve Austin has chosen to be typical Stone Cold, and that is...don't show up the night after you're defeated. Exactly. As far as I'm concerned, wherever Stone Cold is, he can stay there, because we need a World Wrestling Federation champion - we need a champion with dignity! We need a champion with class. We need a champion with credibility. We need Kurt Angle as the World Wrestling Federation champion. I was hoping Austin would be here so that I would have the distinct honor of stripping him of the World Wrestling Federation championship....in the absence of that, Kurt, allow me, on behalf of myself the CEO of the World Wrestling Federation, allow me to--" but then, some music starts playing. You may know it's called "Also Sprach Zarathustra" from 2001: A Space Oddysey - you may not - but you *definitely* know it as the music of THE MAN. Charlotte's own Ric Flair pauses to strut at the top of the ramp before walking the rest of the way. His hair is shorter than ever - and gosh, he's looking older than ever, too. "Oh I almost forgot - and you know, that's pretty typical because you're almost forgot, but this *is* your hometown, isn't it, Ric Flair? Well, Mr. Flair--" "Why don't you listen to the CROWD and tell me if this is my hometown or not?" "That's all right, this is your hometown, Charlotte, North Carolina, that's great. But this is my ring, and you're standing in it, and I want an explanation of why you're here." "The explanation that I'm gonna give you all revolves around the fact that I bet on a WINNER last night - woooo!" "What are you talking about?" "I sat at home - woooo! - on the big side of town in that big house and I bet - on - a - WINNER last night, but before I get to that. Kurt Angle, let me just say this to you: you're a man that's got an Olympic Gold Medal, you've got a legacy, you're an ambassador - this is no way you wanna win the world title. Be Kurt Angle, be the Gold Medal Winner, and be a man that wins by bein' the best man." "So you came down here 'cause it's your hometown to give us your opinion, how nice, Mr. Flair. Nice to see you, now goodbye." "You want - you want me to just cut to the quick right away - I bet on a winner last night, and do you know that when Shane and Stephanie sold their stock to that consortium...that the consortium, woooo!" Flair removes his jacket and starts running the ropes - or strutting the ropes - or skipping. "Woooo! The consortium was ME, and now me and your husband are now limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss stealin', wheelin' dealin' son of a guns! You know why? Because he and I are PARTNERS." Big hug! "Yeah, the Nature Boy and her husband Vince McMahon - partners. Woooo!" The two celebrate until STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN's music has started and here he be. Angle grabs the mic from Flair. "Hold on a second, hold on a second, Austin....Austin, hold on. Hold on a sceond, if anyone understands what I did last night, it's you--" Clothesline! Austin mounts Angle - seven punches, ten stomps, right – Linda just stands there looking on, while Angle runs back up the ramp. Austin turns to Flair, who has the WWF title belt over HIS shoulder - staredown - Austin draws nearer...finally, Austin takes the belt off Flair's shoulder and puts it on his own. Flair's face develops into a grin. Austin gets a few beers - two for himself one for Linda ...and one for Flair. TOAST! Ross: "OH! MY! GOD!" Raw Zone credits are up - are we're out.
