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Post by BigDaddyChacon on Jul 19, 2008 22:44:55 GMT -5
I'm engaged. I figure its an important enough event to let a few people know. Especially those that are older or at least mature. There's no set date yet, but it will be in the fall of 09. I'm pretty excited......what can I say. are you really sure you want to do this? if so, then i wish you nothing but the best. I was married and it was pure hell, so i hope your marriage will be awesome.
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purpleisaaw
Main Eventer
Joined on: Oct 8, 2006 14:56:35 GMT -5
Posts: 2,100
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Post by purpleisaaw on Jul 20, 2008 1:04:12 GMT -5
congrats,fall weddings are very nice
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Post by iyfwkidzc on Jul 20, 2008 1:09:41 GMT -5
You never know true happiness until you get married... then its too late kudos to anyone who gets the reference SVR Jerry Lawler. but congradulations.
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Post by khalicantwrestle on Jul 20, 2008 2:14:22 GMT -5
congrats
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Post by LeighD on Jul 20, 2008 7:37:26 GMT -5
Congratulations man! I hope you both share a long and happy marriage together!
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Post by CM Poor on Jul 20, 2008 8:55:38 GMT -5
Forget these "you're too young" clowns. I got married three weeks ago today, never been happier. Just make sure that your life is on the upward climb, and not the downward. Be ready for good times, and for bad, and be ready to face them together. Before my wife and I were married, we'd seen happiness together, loss together, good times, and poverty. PS: Live together beforehand. Make sure you can stand one another.Best of luck, and congrats. I'm single so take this for what it's worth, but I've always been told the opposite. Set aside all the morality BS, you;re basically room mates and it makes it weird as her bills aren't really yours. She has no ethical obligation or moral obligation to take care of you. If one of you is sick or injured and the other one decides they don't want to stay home to take care of them, the injured party really has no leg to stand on. There's no ethical obligation to take care of a sick room mate. If one of you is working and the other isn't, then one of you becomes finacially dependent on a room mate who has no ethical requirement to stay there and it gets really messy. This is what I've been told by a counselor I know. My fiance and I lived together for 2 and a half years before getting married, and before even getting engaged, had a very concise system in place regarding monetary issues. We had a shared credit line (under both our names) that we used for groceries and other necessary expenses. From there, she had her own, personal credit card that she used at her leisure, and I had my bank card with access to my own account. Bills such as rent, utilities, or basically anything that came down to the two of us as a pair, we each went in half and half on (including the shared credit line). I know that you tend to analyze things from a strictly financial standpoint, but a relationship is, believe it or not, about much much more. And saying you're "basically roommates" with no ethical obligation indicates a lack of successful relationships on your part.
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Irish Ghost
POSSIBLE BAD TRADER
Joined on: Mar 5, 2008 15:23:06 GMT -5
Posts: 1,674
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Post by Irish Ghost on Jul 20, 2008 9:13:59 GMT -5
congrats bro.
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Post by Hulkamaniac on Jul 20, 2008 16:42:03 GMT -5
I'm single so take this for what it's worth, but I've always been told the opposite. Set aside all the morality BS, you;re basically room mates and it makes it weird as her bills aren't really yours. She has no ethical obligation or moral obligation to take care of you. If one of you is sick or injured and the other one decides they don't want to stay home to take care of them, the injured party really has no leg to stand on. There's no ethical obligation to take care of a sick room mate. If one of you is working and the other isn't, then one of you becomes finacially dependent on a room mate who has no ethical requirement to stay there and it gets really messy. This is what I've been told by a counselor I know. My fiance and I lived together for 2 and a half years before getting married, and before even getting engaged, had a very concise system in place regarding monetary issues. We had a shared credit line (under both our names) that we used for groceries and other necessary expenses. From there, she had her own, personal credit card that she used at her leisure, and I had my bank card with access to my own account. Bills such as rent, utilities, or basically anything that came down to the two of us as a pair, we each went in half and half on (including the shared credit line). I know that you tend to analyze things from a strictly financial standpoint, but a relationship is, believe it or not, about much much more. And saying you're "basically roommates" with no ethical obligation indicates a lack of successful relationships on your part. If that works for you that's great, but it's still a room mates setup. If you're married, your finances are combined and there is no his/her debts, no his/her assets, no his/her bills, no his/her accounts. It becomes our debts, our assets, our bills and our accounts. You don't go half and half on anything because you can't. There's no "half of this bill is yours and half is mine." It's all both of yours. You can't really combine finances if you're living together as you're not married. Legally, you're room mates whether you want to admit it or not. More seriously though, if you don't know if you can live with someone or not, you have no business proposing marriage to them. To me the idea of "let's get married and then we can figure out if the marriage will work or not" is just ridiculous.
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becca
Main Eventer
Joined on: Dec 13, 2005 11:20:18 GMT -5
Posts: 4,042
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Post by becca on Jul 20, 2008 19:21:34 GMT -5
I've been getting the "you're too young" thing from everyone but my family ironically. They are just happy I didn't knock her up before hand. Fall '09? There's still time. Congrats. My wedding was the best day of my life, it was in October and it was beautiful. Make sure you have everything you want, and don't worry about what people tell you you're "supposed" to do. You only get to do this once. Hulkamaniac, in reading your statements, it's clear that you haven't been married or in a relationship where you were serious enough to live with someone. If you had, you would know that you don't have to be married to want to take care of the one you love when they are sick, etc. I had the same commitment to my husband when we lived together before we were married as I do right now. Marriage is only a legal designation, you can be husband and wife without being married... not just roomates. That's really almost offensive.
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Post by Hulkamaniac on Jul 21, 2008 17:31:12 GMT -5
I've been getting the "you're too young" thing from everyone but my family ironically. They are just happy I didn't knock her up before hand. Fall '09? There's still time. Congrats. My wedding was the best day of my life, it was in October and it was beautiful. Make sure you have everything you want, and don't worry about what people tell you you're "supposed" to do. You only get to do this once. Hulkamaniac, in reading your statements, it's clear that you haven't been married or in a relationship where you were serious enough to live with someone. If you had, you would know that you don't have to be married to want to take care of the one you love when they are sick, etc. I had the same commitment to my husband when we lived together before we were married as I do right now. Marriage is only a legal designation, you can be husband and wife without being married... not just roomates. That's really almost offensive. I apologize if I offended you. That certainly wasn't my intent. I was trying to respond (in a round about way) to the original comment that you should live together before marriage to figure out if you can stand each other. To me if you don't know the answer to that then you have no business being engaged in the first place. While you don't need to be married to care for someone I merely point out that you have no ethical or moral obligation to do so. If you're married you do. To me marriage is far, far more than just a legal contract. I find the attitude that it is only a legal contract one of the reasons why half of marriages end in divorce. Marriage, to me, is a physical, legal, spiritual, ethical, moral, and emotional bond between a man and a woman and so much more than that too. Once you are married it's not his stuff and her stuff it becomes our stuff. Our money, our toys, our problems, our property, our triumphs, our tragedies, all of it is ours. You just can't get that (IMHO) by living together. You certainly can't get that in a legal sense or we wouldn't have all the controversy over gay marriages.
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Post by extremist12 on Jul 21, 2008 22:50:12 GMT -5
How did a wedding thread turn into a conversation about how Jerry Lawler needs new lines. Anyway congrats man
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Post by superfigures212 on Jul 21, 2008 23:01:13 GMT -5
congrats i hope your happy together!
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Post by Slay on Jul 21, 2008 23:01:42 GMT -5
You're finally old enough to drink and you wanna get married? Ain't gonna be happening for long. It's your choice though, go for t.
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Post by sean™ on Jul 21, 2008 23:07:23 GMT -5
Since when do people wait till they are 21 to drink?
Perhaps I wasn't descriptive enough when I said she's my best friend and has been for years. As in, when I go drinking, she's usually there anyways.
And for the record, moving in together was the best thing that happened to us.
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Post by James Hetfield on Jul 21, 2008 23:13:25 GMT -5
Well I waited until I was 21 and didn't even really find the great thing with drinking.
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