rp : rise of a warrior

thetaker13
Guest

rp : rise of a warrior Feb 25, 2008 18:04:43 GMT -5

Post by thetaker13 on Feb 25, 2008 18:04:43 GMT -5

RP: RISE OF A WARRIOR

Now I have arrived here in Puerto Rico to look for the best fighters to test my strength before my debut in wrestling.

Person: You’re name is Brock? Si?
Brock: Yes, you are?
Person: My name is Juan. I am your tour guide. You have a challenge from one of our best Chavez.
Brock: I can’t wait. Now let’s leave.

Juan: Here it is Brock.
Chavez: (spits out his toothpick) Juan you brought him
Brock: I’m here.
Chavez: Good.

Referee: Fight. (Followed by a huge chant)

Referee: Your winner Brock
Person: Hey Brock you see you invade my grounds, you beat my best, and there’s one thing you will not do. Take my title

Referee: Fight

Referee: Here is your winner Brock.
Brock: That’s it. Your champ failed in 2 minutes. Pathetic! (Spits on the person)

Now I am back in the US and ready for my debut. And now nobody can stop me!

thetaker13 Guest	rp : rise of a warrior Feb 25, 2008 18:05:09 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by thetaker13 on Feb 25, 2008 18:05:09 GMT -5 see i killed the taker part off. comments ?

Wez
Main Eventer

WF 20+ Year Member

Joined on: Mar 23, 2002 8:42:00 GMT -5
Posts: 1,340

rp : rise of a warrior Feb 25, 2008 18:10:45 GMT -5

Post by Wez on Feb 25, 2008 18:10:45 GMT -5

O.k you've just started on the House Show so your RPs are expected to be short, but I think you need to put a lot more time in as you posted this shortly after your last. This RP needs much more description of the setting, characters and fight.

e.g. As soon as the ref called "fight", you then wrote "your winner Brock". There was no buid-up to the victory.

Last Edit: Feb 25, 2008 18:11:33 GMT -5 by Wez

Accomplishments:
WFWF Cruiserweight Champion
WFWF Tag Team Champion

Trading Refs - 6

thetaker13 Guest	rp : rise of a warrior Feb 25, 2008 18:14:28 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by thetaker13 on Feb 25, 2008 18:14:28 GMT -5 ok wez i will add a lot more detail i just am trying to get as much help before my first house show rp

Calvin
Main Eventer

visit my myspace and listen to my music

Joined on: Dec 18, 2001 15:13:21 GMT -5
Posts: 3,791

rp : rise of a warrior Feb 25, 2008 19:32:22 GMT -5

Post by Calvin on Feb 25, 2008 19:32:22 GMT -5

the fact you threw together 3 rps in a matter of a hour each one being the results of critism off the other is funny.

I mean, you are taking advice, but you cleary aren't taking the time to actually make a rp. YOur just posting 5 minutes rps. Actually sit down and write something meaningful.

Markw
WF Legend

WF 10 Year Member

I'm usually more charismatic than this

Joined on: Jan 18, 2007 15:00:15 GMT -5
Posts: 5,527

rp : rise of a warrior Feb 26, 2008 13:33:05 GMT -5

Post by Markw on Feb 26, 2008 13:33:05 GMT -5

Spend some time writing, also if you want to improve I suggest reading guys like Thunder, EBR, Rev, Pierce Deville and some other guys RP to get the feel of RP'ing, they have obviously spent a lot of time working on their RP, you need to sit down for a good period of time and write something good, not just put together anything in the space of two minutes :-/

Post by thetaker13 on Feb 25, 2008 18:04:43 GMT -5

Post by thetaker13 on Feb 25, 2008 18:05:09 GMT -5

Post by Wez on Feb 25, 2008 18:10:45 GMT -5

Post by thetaker13 on Feb 25, 2008 18:14:28 GMT -5

Post by Calvin on Feb 25, 2008 19:32:22 GMT -5

Post by Markw on Feb 26, 2008 13:33:05 GMT -5