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Post by LtD73 on Mar 9, 2009 11:44:51 GMT -5
Post your favourite/funniest Joel Gertner quotes
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Post by Gangrel-Brood on Mar 9, 2009 11:49:33 GMT -5
Best teeth I ever comed across!
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Johnny Lawrence - Cobra Kai
Main Eventer
Promotional consideration paid for by the following
Joined on: Jul 25, 2005 17:12:49 GMT -5
Posts: 3,209
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Post by Johnny Lawrence - Cobra Kai on Mar 9, 2009 12:47:52 GMT -5
These are all from one of Gertner's finest introductions, at ECW Living Dangerously 1998:
"In the ring at this time, he is the most outspoken commodity in ECW. The voice of a generation, and the SILENCE behind the VIOLENCE... SIGN GUY DUDLEYYY!"
"Also in the ring at this time, standing before me and intimidating the masses... from the Twisted Steel section of Dudleyville, 25 and 3/8 inches of the largest arms in the world, attached to the man that, last night, took such liberties with YOUR MOTHER [points at kid in front row], that he is now recognized as your father in 17 states, THE GARGANTUAN known as BIG DICK DUDLEYYY!!!"
"And then, there's me. I'm like milk; I do a body good. The quintessential stud muffin, and a DAMN handsome man... the man whose wit is more tongue-in-cheek than a lesbian orgy... JOEL "Your girlfriend Has Me On Her Speed Dial Because She Loves the Way I STAR-69 Her" GERTNER."
"Competing tonight for your viewing pleasure, first - currently GETTING JIGGY WITH IT at my left - straight out of the south side of Dudleyville, LIKE POPCORN BUTTA... he weighs in at a SLIM, TRIM, BUFF, CUT, RIPPED, CHISELED, and JAAAACKKKED - I'm so good! - TWO HUNDRED a... [The Dudley Brothers stop him in mid-word] ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY-NINE POUNDS... the ECW SUPER-CRUISERWEIGHT Champion of the Woooooorld... raise the roof for the man who's keepin' it real in the '9-8, MY BROTHER from ANOTHER MOTHER... D-VON DUDLEYYYY!!!"
"His half-brother and tag team partner hails from the Dudleyville Shore. He weighs in at a ROUGH, READY and RAMBUNCTIOUS three hundred and fifty pounds, and he is Pamela Lee's BRAND NEW MAN. Take it from me; I've seen the videotape. The Dudleyville Icon, BUBBA RAY DUDLEYYY!!!"
"At this time, sound man, please cue up the music for tonight's enhancement talent."
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ohiochad
Superstar
The Codebreaker!
Joined on: May 2, 2008 17:46:55 GMT -5
Posts: 732
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Post by ohiochad on Mar 10, 2009 14:19:17 GMT -5
This is part 2. You guys can look for part 1 yourselves. I'm not getting banned over a few bad words cuz of the commie censorship on this site.
Here's another one:
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Post by markallenkellner on Mar 13, 2009 19:35:24 GMT -5
He was funny but I still don't know he ever got involved in wrestling. He certainly couldn't do commentary, all he ever did were dirty limericks, and Cyrus owned him every time they had a face off.
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Bruiser Brody
Main Eventer
Joined on: Jun 9, 2007 1:46:44 GMT -5
Posts: 2,431
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Post by Bruiser Brody on Mar 13, 2009 22:42:32 GMT -5
"The women call me Fred Flinstone because I make their Bed Rock."
Never forget that one.
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Deleted
Joined on: Sept 27, 2024 18:39:12 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2009 8:08:49 GMT -5
He was funny but I still don't know he ever got involved in wrestling. He certainly couldn't do commentary, all he ever did were dirty limericks, and Cyrus owned him every time they had a face off. He used to be a ring announcer, much like Steven De Angeles or Bob Ortiz, and then went from there. I legitimately hated ONS '05, where he was made to look foolish.
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