Post by Byron F'N Saxton Fan on Mar 10, 2010 0:17:35 GMT -5
We get an immediate promise of Chris Jericho's Highlight Reel with guest star Edge.
Rey Mystero comes to the ring with his wife, son, and daughter. No way this can go wrong. Happy family. Rey is here to let the fans into his home. It turns out it's Rey's daughter's 9th birthday. Rey gets the crowd to chant Happy Birthday. Says he wants it to be a night remembers. And, yes, here's CM Punk and crew. CM Punk makes Rey's daughter cry and challenges Rey to a match at WrestleMania, and a match right now. Punk cuts a great promo here and offers a present of letting Rey's daughter shut her eyes while he makes Rey cry and squeal like a pig. Then, he goes after his wife. Rey doesn't want to fight in front of his family, and so Punk offers to get down to his size and gets to one knee. Rey eventually takes off with his family as Punk sings "Happy Birthday." Rey holds his head, and it's promo gold. Eventually, Punk leaves the ring. Great heat and the match at Mania is set up. Meanwhile, the crowd suddenly notices that Serena is, in fact, pretty stacked.
Miz comes to the ring with Daniel Bryan. No, Big Show. Miz takes the mic and says he is set to respond to the beating he took on Raw. Lots of use for the word "really" here. Miz announces a match with Truth now, and Show vs. Morrison later.
Truth comes out with Otunga in tow. The crowd is a little less enthusiastic about 'what's up' this go around (we just had it for NXT).
(1) R-Truth beat U.S. champion The Miz in a non-title match at 4:24. Miz with offense early, then Truth does the Matrix dodge and takes over, tossing Miz from the ring. The crowd starts a "Daniel Bryan" chant. Back in the ring, Miz slows the pace down into a resthold. Truth breaks out and the momentum runs back and forth. Several nearfalls before Miz tries to use the ropes for the pin, but Danielson pushes him off. Crowd pops, Miz is distracted, and Truth picks up the win.
They showed clips of Seattle's Pike's Place Market. Apparently we are all about people throwing fish around. Microsoft, Amazon, Real, Boeing, Cobain shooting himself...nah, we are all about throwing fish.
The Undertaker-Michaels promo is shown with the Johnny Cash theme. The woman next to me is doing the slow dance and touching herself. Everyone is disgusted. Yes Shawn "Sexy Boy" Michaels, this is your fan base.
We get Kane vs. Luke Gallows apparently.
The Money in the Bank case drops above the ring. Drew McIntyre is stopped by Teddy Long, who pesters him about his losses. McMahon has hand-picked Drew's opponent for tonight in a MITB qualifying match. Teddy notes that he's adding the IC Title to the match in a "winner take all" stipulation. Aren't all the MITB spots taken?
Drew McIntyre comes to the ring for the MITB match and has to watch his losses. Seems cruel. His opponent is Aaron Bolo. Apparently a Seattle native, he's introduced as a Washington state wrestling champ. Hometown doesn't do him any favors, and Seattle looks like the home of fish throwing and tiny lame jobbers.
(2) IC champion Drew McIntyre beat Aaron Bolo at 0:22 to retain the IC Title and qualify for Money in the Bank. Yeah, Aaron was demolished. Drew points to the WrestleMania sign. So there are nine wrestlers in Money in the Bank now.
Big Show is shown walking backstage. Big Show comes to the ring and he's facing Morrison now.
(3) Big Show beat John Morrison at 5:41. Morrison is super over with the women. Brief offense from Morrison, then lots of clubbering by Big Show and a loud, sick wet chop that gets a big crowd reaction. Minor offense from Morrison with a dropkick, but it's really all Big Show. Morrison attempts a flip off the ropes, but it's into a fist and a pin. It seemed like there was a commercial in there. A decent match that I suspect won't come off as well on TV, though. Show plays to the crowd more than others do and he's in a good pairing with Miz.
Hart Dynasty comes to the ring for a match. Meanwhile, we learn Tiffany is talking to Teddy. In comes Vickie Guerrero, who doesn't want Tiffany to take her job. But, turns out Tiffany is here to be a Diva. That means the promise of McCool vs. Tiffany later.
(4) Hart Dynasty (Tyson Kidd & D.H. Smith) vs. Crime Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG) went to a No Contest at 1:56. Apparently Crime Tyme's music is also good to dance to if you're an out-of-shape woman with poorly done tattoos. Kidd takes control early, but here's The Undertaker's music. Lights go out, when they are back he's in the ring. Undertaker proceeds to f-up all four with his four finishers over the years. Crowd goes crazy for this. Undertaker looks to the Mania sign.
Hey, there's a shot of the Space Needle. Suck it, America!
Michelle McCool comes out with Layla and Vickie. Here comes Tiffany in what can only be described as a Halloween Cheerleader outfit. McCool mocks Tiffany's outfit.
(5) Tiffany beat Michelle McCool via DQ. The match quickly goes outside where Vickie gores(?) Tiffany for a DQ. As McCool and crew threaten Tiffany, out comes Beth Phoenix, who destroys McCool and Layla. After teasing a clothesline on Vickie, she helps up Tiffany, and the two hold up arms.
Backstage, Kane is walking. Did you know the WWE Magazine is the number one magazine in Walmart? Out comes Luke Gallows for his match with Kane, the society in tow.
6) Kane beat Luke Gallows via DQ at 5:10. This match was just all Kane. Eventually, Gallows escaped to regroup. Kane continued the attack until Gallows took over with a methodical, clubbering offense. Kane had enough of this and hit the chokeslam. As he made the pin, in came Punk for the DQ. As the Society beat down Kane, out came Rey Mysterio. They brawled to the outside and into the crowd until Dean Malenko held Rey back and CM Punk made his escape.
The stage crew then brings out the carpet and extremely expensive Jeritron 5000... or is it 6000 since the old one was broken? Who knows. The back says Panasonic. I'm going with extremely expensive Panasonic. Comedy ensues as the stage crew tries to get the hanging Panasonic leveled. Lots of miscommunication here.
Highlight Reel: Jericho introduces "a big liar," Edge. This is all about their WrestleMania match, with Jericho pointing out Edge is injury-prone. Edge responds that all he knows is taking risks, like diving off ladders (and Vickie) and going head-first into flaming tables (and Vickie). Jericho cites Vickie as Edge's key to success. Edge responds that everyone has a bad girlfriend they regret; for Jericho it was Big Show. (So Jericho was the beard?). Edge continues to insult Jericho, who gets tired of it and decks him a microphone and then with a stool. Then, the other stool, and then in an odd choice, his jacket. With Edge reeling, Jericho prepares to send him into the extremely expensive Panasonic 6000, but Edge breaks free and decks Jericho. Just as he's about to hit the spear, Jericho decks Edge with the belt. With Edge down, Jericho chants "spear" over and over at the crowd, and then in Edge's face. For an awkward moment, it looks like Jericho is going to kiss Edge, but no, it's just an angry wrestler taunting the other wrestler. Jericho poses with the belt over Edge, and we are done. Edge rolls out of the ring as the ring crew rolls up the carpet.
-PWTroch.com
Rey Mystero comes to the ring with his wife, son, and daughter. No way this can go wrong. Happy family. Rey is here to let the fans into his home. It turns out it's Rey's daughter's 9th birthday. Rey gets the crowd to chant Happy Birthday. Says he wants it to be a night remembers. And, yes, here's CM Punk and crew. CM Punk makes Rey's daughter cry and challenges Rey to a match at WrestleMania, and a match right now. Punk cuts a great promo here and offers a present of letting Rey's daughter shut her eyes while he makes Rey cry and squeal like a pig. Then, he goes after his wife. Rey doesn't want to fight in front of his family, and so Punk offers to get down to his size and gets to one knee. Rey eventually takes off with his family as Punk sings "Happy Birthday." Rey holds his head, and it's promo gold. Eventually, Punk leaves the ring. Great heat and the match at Mania is set up. Meanwhile, the crowd suddenly notices that Serena is, in fact, pretty stacked.
Miz comes to the ring with Daniel Bryan. No, Big Show. Miz takes the mic and says he is set to respond to the beating he took on Raw. Lots of use for the word "really" here. Miz announces a match with Truth now, and Show vs. Morrison later.
Truth comes out with Otunga in tow. The crowd is a little less enthusiastic about 'what's up' this go around (we just had it for NXT).
(1) R-Truth beat U.S. champion The Miz in a non-title match at 4:24. Miz with offense early, then Truth does the Matrix dodge and takes over, tossing Miz from the ring. The crowd starts a "Daniel Bryan" chant. Back in the ring, Miz slows the pace down into a resthold. Truth breaks out and the momentum runs back and forth. Several nearfalls before Miz tries to use the ropes for the pin, but Danielson pushes him off. Crowd pops, Miz is distracted, and Truth picks up the win.
They showed clips of Seattle's Pike's Place Market. Apparently we are all about people throwing fish around. Microsoft, Amazon, Real, Boeing, Cobain shooting himself...nah, we are all about throwing fish.
The Undertaker-Michaels promo is shown with the Johnny Cash theme. The woman next to me is doing the slow dance and touching herself. Everyone is disgusted. Yes Shawn "Sexy Boy" Michaels, this is your fan base.
We get Kane vs. Luke Gallows apparently.
The Money in the Bank case drops above the ring. Drew McIntyre is stopped by Teddy Long, who pesters him about his losses. McMahon has hand-picked Drew's opponent for tonight in a MITB qualifying match. Teddy notes that he's adding the IC Title to the match in a "winner take all" stipulation. Aren't all the MITB spots taken?
Drew McIntyre comes to the ring for the MITB match and has to watch his losses. Seems cruel. His opponent is Aaron Bolo. Apparently a Seattle native, he's introduced as a Washington state wrestling champ. Hometown doesn't do him any favors, and Seattle looks like the home of fish throwing and tiny lame jobbers.
(2) IC champion Drew McIntyre beat Aaron Bolo at 0:22 to retain the IC Title and qualify for Money in the Bank. Yeah, Aaron was demolished. Drew points to the WrestleMania sign. So there are nine wrestlers in Money in the Bank now.
Big Show is shown walking backstage. Big Show comes to the ring and he's facing Morrison now.
(3) Big Show beat John Morrison at 5:41. Morrison is super over with the women. Brief offense from Morrison, then lots of clubbering by Big Show and a loud, sick wet chop that gets a big crowd reaction. Minor offense from Morrison with a dropkick, but it's really all Big Show. Morrison attempts a flip off the ropes, but it's into a fist and a pin. It seemed like there was a commercial in there. A decent match that I suspect won't come off as well on TV, though. Show plays to the crowd more than others do and he's in a good pairing with Miz.
Hart Dynasty comes to the ring for a match. Meanwhile, we learn Tiffany is talking to Teddy. In comes Vickie Guerrero, who doesn't want Tiffany to take her job. But, turns out Tiffany is here to be a Diva. That means the promise of McCool vs. Tiffany later.
(4) Hart Dynasty (Tyson Kidd & D.H. Smith) vs. Crime Tyme (Shad Gaspard & JTG) went to a No Contest at 1:56. Apparently Crime Tyme's music is also good to dance to if you're an out-of-shape woman with poorly done tattoos. Kidd takes control early, but here's The Undertaker's music. Lights go out, when they are back he's in the ring. Undertaker proceeds to f-up all four with his four finishers over the years. Crowd goes crazy for this. Undertaker looks to the Mania sign.
Hey, there's a shot of the Space Needle. Suck it, America!
Michelle McCool comes out with Layla and Vickie. Here comes Tiffany in what can only be described as a Halloween Cheerleader outfit. McCool mocks Tiffany's outfit.
(5) Tiffany beat Michelle McCool via DQ. The match quickly goes outside where Vickie gores(?) Tiffany for a DQ. As McCool and crew threaten Tiffany, out comes Beth Phoenix, who destroys McCool and Layla. After teasing a clothesline on Vickie, she helps up Tiffany, and the two hold up arms.
Backstage, Kane is walking. Did you know the WWE Magazine is the number one magazine in Walmart? Out comes Luke Gallows for his match with Kane, the society in tow.
6) Kane beat Luke Gallows via DQ at 5:10. This match was just all Kane. Eventually, Gallows escaped to regroup. Kane continued the attack until Gallows took over with a methodical, clubbering offense. Kane had enough of this and hit the chokeslam. As he made the pin, in came Punk for the DQ. As the Society beat down Kane, out came Rey Mysterio. They brawled to the outside and into the crowd until Dean Malenko held Rey back and CM Punk made his escape.
The stage crew then brings out the carpet and extremely expensive Jeritron 5000... or is it 6000 since the old one was broken? Who knows. The back says Panasonic. I'm going with extremely expensive Panasonic. Comedy ensues as the stage crew tries to get the hanging Panasonic leveled. Lots of miscommunication here.
Highlight Reel: Jericho introduces "a big liar," Edge. This is all about their WrestleMania match, with Jericho pointing out Edge is injury-prone. Edge responds that all he knows is taking risks, like diving off ladders (and Vickie) and going head-first into flaming tables (and Vickie). Jericho cites Vickie as Edge's key to success. Edge responds that everyone has a bad girlfriend they regret; for Jericho it was Big Show. (So Jericho was the beard?). Edge continues to insult Jericho, who gets tired of it and decks him a microphone and then with a stool. Then, the other stool, and then in an odd choice, his jacket. With Edge reeling, Jericho prepares to send him into the extremely expensive Panasonic 6000, but Edge breaks free and decks Jericho. Just as he's about to hit the spear, Jericho decks Edge with the belt. With Edge down, Jericho chants "spear" over and over at the crowd, and then in Edge's face. For an awkward moment, it looks like Jericho is going to kiss Edge, but no, it's just an angry wrestler taunting the other wrestler. Jericho poses with the belt over Edge, and we are done. Edge rolls out of the ring as the ring crew rolls up the carpet.
-PWTroch.com
ing job. I doubt it will be 9, probably 10, so Kofi will be the last one then.
