Post by veronicaaaahhhh on Nov 28, 2010 14:35:13 GMT -5
My Abuelita came into my room,
With a gift on display,
She hugged and she kissed me,
And told me how happy she was today,
Because I was born eight years ago today.
I jumped out of bed,
Excited I did yell,
It was another morning with a new story for Abuelita to tell,
She picked me in her arms,
And told me of the story of eight years ago today.
It was the edge of November,
At four in the afternoon,
My mommy and my daddy rushed across the city,
It was an unexpected emergency,
But in grace came a gift eight years ago today.
<***>
It was one of those days when Wayne cursed himself for having that black Harley of his. If he only had the power in his hands, they'dve been in the hospital at least fifteen minutes ago.
Wayne didn't know what it was really. But he just seemed to be stuck in one of those moments when even though there were a hundred thoughts all racing inside that thick head of his, there was a clarity, a grace, to chaos around him.
He knew what was going. And he knew what to do. But he just couldn't get himself away from anything else but the image that stood out in his head before him. He would try to turn away for a moment and face the road that just seemed to drift slowly against the left of him. But nothing he saw... Whether, it was people, signs, or the little shops scattered along the sidewalk. There was nothing in the world that could drag his heavy mind away from the sight of Vanessa's water breaking in front of him.
They were in the hotel. Just about set to leave for the arena and then, as they were walking along the hallway, just before they hit the elevator, it happened.
Vanessa turned to him with a look.
And with that, Wayne turned back and asked, “What's wrong?”.
Vanessa clutched the underside of her belly and told him then and there that her water had broken.
It was the collection of the look of uncertainty upon her face and the trail that led down her khaki cargo pants that led Wayne to scoop her into his arms and rush down.
Wayne cursed himself for not having a car. He reckoned that if he had a car instead of that selfish excuse of a vehicle, they wouldn't be in speeding cab, Vanessa would be feeling better, and that baby of theirs, just two weeks ahead of schedule, would have a better shot of making it into this world.
Wayne placed his hand over Vanessa's and held it; fingers intertwined tightly.
“How're you feeling?”, Wayne asked, turning to Vanessa.
Vanessa didn't say anything. She just kept her gaze on the road ahead of her.
Licking her lips, Vanessa replied, “I'm alright. Just a bit uncomfortable. But I think I can manage.”.
“Just hang in there.”, Wayne said before placing a kiss before her forehead.
Vanessa wrapped her arms around Wayne's arm and said, “I just can't believe this is happening.”.
“Neither can I.”.
“Wayne?”.
“Yeah?”.
“Do you think I'll be good mother?”.
“What the hell kind of talk is that?”, Wayne replied as he dropped his head against Vanessa's. “You're going to be an amazing mother. You've been a supportive and understanding girlfriend, and in the short time we've been married, you've been more than that as a wife. You're going to be amazing. I know it.”.
Tears swelled beneath Vanessa's eyes as she faced Wayne; her face and etched, red mark of a woman on the verge of breaking.
Wayne brought their hands against his chest as wrapped an arm around Vanessa's shoulder and pulled her closer to him.
“You're going to be great. I know it.”, Wayne murmured.
“How?”.
“Because I feel it. It's something I believe. And you know me, I just can't believe in anything.”.
Vanessa nodded.
“If anyone has anything to worry about.”, Wayne said. “It's me. I don't know if I'd be a good enough father. Sure, I know I'm going to be something better than what Frank was to me, but this is something else.”.
Vanessa smiled; tears now streaming down her face.
“Wayne.”, Vanessa spoke, softly. “Just the fact that you have those thoughts running through your head just shows how determined you are to our child. You're going to be a great father.”.
Wayne turned his head away from Vanessa. He, too, was on the verge of breaking into tears.
Vanessa drew her hand apart from Wayne's and with that, she took Wayne's chin by the cusp of her fingers and turned his face towards her.
Wayne faced Vanessa; red, swollen from tears.
“What's the matter?”, Vanessa asked.
“It just hit me.”, Wayne said; his voice caught between a cry and chuckle. “I'm going to be a father.”.
“Yeah.”, Vanessa said, cracking a smile. “You did do this to me after all.”.
“I know.”, Wayne said. “But it just never really hit me until now. It's like everything else just seemed to have come along from a presumption, but now that I'm faced with it, it's different. It's big. It's real. I can't describe it.”.
Vanessa drew her head close and kissed Wayne.
“Now you know exactly what I feel.”.
“But I'm not the one giving birth.”.
“I know. But I'll make sure, one way or another, that you'll feel exactly what it's going to feel like for me in a few minutes.”.
Wayne and Vanessa looked at each other for a moment and laughed.
Quickly, Wayne held her again.
“I love you, Vanessa.”.
“I love you too, Wayne.”.
<***>
I met my Daddy at breakfast,
I asked him if Mommy was coming,
And he nodded yes,
I couldn't wait to see her, she couldn't wait too,
Because I was born eight years ago today.
When I asked for my present,
Daddy said it had to wait,
And he pointed to a mountain of presents,
Just waiting for me,
These were mine because I was born eight years ago today.
I had to wait for the party,
On this Sunday afternoon,
Abuelita and my Daddy kept me company,
And continued the story,
Of what happened eight years ago today.
<***>
“Wayne, I'm scared.”.
Outside of the row of heads covered in surgical masks that had crowded Vanessa on both sides of her being, the only constants thing Vanessa could look at we're the rows upon rows of florescent lights that hung over head.
“Wayne!”, Vanessa cried out.
If there was any single thing Vanessa wanted to look at she was wheeled into the delivery room, it was Wayne. It wasn't until sometime after did Vanessa wonder if she needed the sight of a familiar face or the sight of his face, and his face alone. But for what it was, she needed him. He was her partner in all this and as she waited for his head to pop up, she just knew she'd gain the extra amount of strength and overall courage she needed to get through the delivery just by seeing him and him alone.
He was her husband.
“Vanessa, I'm here. Don't worry.”.
Vanessa arched her head up. And with that, she caught the sigh of relief she needed when Wayne pulled the surgery mask and rushed himself towards her end of the gurney.
Wayne held on to the arms of the gurney as he looked down at her with a smile.
“Hey.”.
Vanessa closed her eyes and covered her lips with her palm, as a tear dropped from her eyes. ”Hey”, it was such a relief to hear.
“Hey.”.
Wayne and Vanessa kept their eyes on each other as the orderlies before them pushed open the doors of the delivery room.
“Tell me everything will be alright.”.
“Everything will be alright.”.
The gurney came to its stop in the middle of the delivery room.
“This is it.”, Vanessa spoke.
“Yeah.”, Wayne said. “We're going to have a baby.”.
“We don't even have a name for her yet.”.
“We've been avoiding it, haven't we?”.
Vanessa nodded.
Wayne looked around as the doctor and the nurses rushed their way around him and crowded themselves over Vanessa.
“How about Scarlett?”, Wayne shot out.
Vanessa looked around at all the strangers before her and turned to Wayne, asking, “What if she doesn't have red hair?”.
“That's fine.”, Wayne replied. “Just as long as her name has something that belongs to you.”.
Vanessa gazed against at the crowd before her and shot back, “Then, she deserves something that belongs to you. How about Quinn?”.
“Why Quinn?”.
“Wasn't that the name of your grandfather?”.
“It's a man's name. But I like it.”.
“Scarlett Quinn it is.”, Vanessa nodded, tearing.
A nurse rushed behind Vanessa and elevated her gurney; sitting her up straight.
A doctor came before her and asked, “Mrs. McGurk, are you ready?”.
It was the first time since her wedding that Vanessa was addressed as “Mrs. McGurk”, and as harsh and as Irish as the name sounded, it filled her with the greatest sense of peace, joy, and security.
Vanessa sighed a smile and then nodded.
Wayne motioned himself next to Vanessa and held her hand.
“Everything will be alright.”, Wayne whispered.
And with that, Vanessa cried out and pushed.
“We have a head!”, the doctor called out.
Wayne and Vanessa turned to each other with the same expression; jaws dropped in utter disbelief.
“Just a couple more pushes, Mrs. McGurk.”.
Vanessa's gripped Wayne's hand, and with that, Wayne gripped tighter and held his forehead against hers.
With another loud cry, Vanessa pushed.
“That's it! Just one more!”.
Breathing heavily, Vanessa turned to Wayne. Closing her eyes, Vanessa pressed a kiss on Wayne's hand and held him as tight as she possibly could. Taking one last catch of breath, Vanessa pushed.
There was silence for a moment.
Slowly, Vanessa opened her eyes and looked at Wayne, and then looked at the doctor.
And then, the silence was cut by the glorious sound of their daughter's first cry.
“It's a girl!”.
“I want to see my baby!”, Vanessa cried.
The doctor smiled and said, “We'll have her ready in just a moment, Mrs. McGurk.”.
Wayne was called over. And he could have sworn that the few steps it took to see his child for the first time, were the longest steps he had ever taken.
If anything, he was scared. He was happy, possibly the happiest he had ever been, but even with that, he was still scared. He was worried. He had his fears... What if he dropped her? What if she slipped through his fingers? He hadn't even seen her yet, but he felt just how precious she was. He was overcome with love and the intent to be by his child's side and to make sure, he would always be there to protect her.
It just came naturally to him.
Wayne approached the doctor as he cradled Scarlett Quinn in his arms. Wayne broke into a smile as tears just fell from his eyes; there wasn't anything he could do to stop it, and at that moment, he didn't want to stop the tears.
“How is she?”, Vanessa called out.
Wayne looked down at Scarlett Quinn, still smiling, replying, “She's beautiful.”.
“Would you like to cut the cord, Mr. McGurk?”, the doctor asked.
“I'd like that.”, Wayne replied.
The nurse handed him the scissors and with a quick cut, their daughter was finally her own little person.
“We'll just clean her up.”.
Wayne walked back to Vanessa and held her hand against.
“I'm really jealous of you right now.”, Vanessa murmured. “You got to see our baby.”.
Wayne couldn't think of what to tell her. Instead, he smiled and kissed their intertwined hands. Wayne wanted to tell her he loved her. He wanted to tell her that she was going to have more precious moments with their daughter, and that whatever he could do as a father would never amount to the work she would put in.
Within moments, the nurse in the blue uniform turned away from the table and walked to Vanessa and Wayne with their baby in her arms.
Vanessa broke the moment the nurse laid Scarlett Quinn into her arms. Vanessa blinked and took a deep breath, and with her eyes open, she looked down at her daughter and held her with all the care and grace she knew.
“My baby.”, Vanessa hushed. “... My baby.”.
<***>
In the minutes after the first guest arrived,
My Mommy came in and held me tight.
In her arms she took me, and spun me again and again,
The warmth of her arms were truly divine,
In her eyes she saw me eight years ago today.
We sat on the porch, still wrapped in her arms.
I couldn't believe how much I missed her,
She made me happy when she said she missed me to.
She said she didn't want to let me go,
She remembered what she went through eight years ago today.
And when more guests arrived, my Daddy stepped outside.
He said I should greet my friends, these people I started to know.
He said he wanted to talk to Mommy, I think he missed her quite much
I hope they talk and remembered that they loved each other,
Once upon a time, eight years ago today.
<***>
“Hey.”.
“Hey.”.
Wayne turned his head as he watched Scarlett as she ran inside. They had the old Sandoval house all decorated for the party and it was nice to have some activity going on inside; music playing, kids running around, Mama Sandoval and Sheila preparing things up in the kitchen. Wayne reckoned that the last time the house was so full must've been around the time he himself was Scarlett's age.
Wayne light a cigarette and turned to Vanessa. He had wanted to wait until the party was over to talk to her, but he reckoned it wouldn't do them any good. It would just leave a pretty bad aura hanging in the air, and Wayne knew that neither of them wanted that for her.
“I can't believe you did it.”, Vanessa said. “Settling back here. I just never imagined it.”.
“Neither did I until you left.”.
“You really want to talk about it, huh?”.
“I do.”, Wayne replied. “It just seems like there's never really a good time to talk about these things, even when I know we wanted to the most. Frankly, I'm just pretty hurt about what you did. And I'm talking about what you pulled during the show. I'm not angry and I'm not going to let it affect me for the day. I just want to know why.”.
“Question!”.
“Shoot."
“Does Scarlett know about what happened during the show?”.
“No.”, Wayne replied. “She never saw the show and I don't intend on telling her what happened, let alone showing it to her.”.
“Why?”.
“Because, she's been through enough between the both of us. And I actually don't want her to think any less of you.”.
“Thank you.”.
“Don't. It's Scarlett I'm doing this for.”, Wayne replied before taking in a drag.
Vanessa reached into her purse and lit a cigarette. “So, what do you want to know?”.
“Why?”.
Vanessa took a drag and replied, “Fair enough.”.
Wayne crossed through the porch and leaned against the railing as he faced Vanessa directly.
“I left Marc shortly after we broke up and I found myself headlining in a new organization. Everything was great. For the first time in a long time, I felt like my career was going towards the track I wanted. And it felt amazing. You should know that all those years I supported you, I did it out of love and what I felt. But it also came to a point where I needed to prove something to myself. I couldn't do that in the WFWF, so I did it elsewhere. And it was amazing. I basically headlined every show they had. I don't think you can even begin to understand what an honor it was for me to headline that promotion, to be a woman on their main event constantly. It was big deal. And then, before I knew it. Without any warning, it ended. That dream was taken away from me me. The ones that survived the all of the promotion banded together, we needed to prove a point, specifically, we had to prove it at the WFWF. Because that's where a good lot of us got our start.”.
Wayne took a drag. Exhaling, he replied, “So, how does that constitute the way you assaulted me that night?”.
“I didn't do that to hurt you. I did it to prove a point.”.
“A point?!”, Wayne scoffed, taking another drag.
“I had the world at promotion. I needed to show the WFWF and the rest of the world what I was capable of.”.
“And you attacked me?”.
“Not quite.”, Vanessa replied. “To show the world just what I had in me, I had to show them that I had no qualms at all over hurting the man I love the most in this world.”.
“You did that out of love, huh?”.
“Don't be like this, Wayne. I know you. You are smarter and better than this. So just stop any and all rhetorical questions you've got. You know what I'm telling you.”.
“Well forgive me, Vanessa.”, Wayne said. “I'm just trying to rationalize what I know and what 'm hearing you say to me right now.”.
“Just accept it for what is. This is hard enough for me.”.
“Hard?”, Wayne broke silently. “You know what's hard for me? How about the fact that this is the first time in two months that you've seen your daughter? How about the fact that you had no problems with us moving down here? I expected you to get a little mad, you know? I mean, a little anger goes a long way in showing you care.”.
“Showing I care?”, Vanessa shot back, rising from her seat. “Hasn't it even occurred to you that reason why I haven't seen her or had any objections to you relocating this family all the way in the middle of the desert is because I want her to actually know you?”.
“What?”.
“Wayne, you're her father. But there was a good period in her life when she hardly saw you, hardly saw us for that matter. We, specifically you, we're out on the road. You went after your dreams and you made a name for yourself. And while that's great, and even though you did what you can to make sure that there was always room for Scarlett in your life, it was never enough. I know how her. I know our daughter. And I saw this as nice way for her to finally start spending time with her father, so you can finally get to know that wonderful and talented little girl that I do!”.
It was obvious Wayne and Vanessa were livid at each other. Unbeknownst to the both of them, the things they had said had shot right through one another and hit them pretty hard. They both had their reasons and their own concerns. And they both knew, as much as they hated to admit it, that they were both right in their own regards.
Wayne smoked his cigarette while Vanessa smoked hers.
This was their time to cool off.
Wayne exhaled and shrugged. “It's funny.”.
“Yeah?”, Vanessa asked, sitting back down.
“When I first picked her up from the airport, I took her down to this little cantina for breakfast. And they were playing this old George Jones song, 'Open Pit Mine'. And we just started talking about the song, and I just couldn't believe the way she looked into it. The way she took her time listening to the melody and taking in the lyrics. I just never expected that from her, you know?”. Wayne sighed. “I guess it wasn't then that I started to realize just what a smart young woman our daughter is growing to be. It just passed me by. And I finally saw it. I just was so proud of her. The way she just analyzed it. I remember even thinking to myself, 'She really is my daughter'.”.
“I'm glad you're starting to know her.”, Vanessa said.
Vanessa brought the cigarette to her lips and took a long drag. She needed to feel the smoke fill her up for a bit and surround her.
Exhaling, she said, “You have no idea how much I miss her. I think the thought that really gets me out bed in the morning and really just gets me through my day is knowing that when this is all said and done, I'll be with her again. She's as much a part of me as she's a part of you.”.
Wayne took the empty seat beside Vanessa and said, “I think that's what kills me, really. The fact that you aren't here. A good reason why I'm retiring is so I could give Scarlett a normal childhood, get her away from all this moving around crap we've gotten her used to. Starting a life here wouldn't be much without you. It's pretty hard to imagine when I really think about it.”.
“We will figure something out.”, Vanessa said, “Even if that involves me moving all the way out here. We'll do something about it. But we can't now.”.
“I know.”, Wayne said. “At least we're talking again.”.
“Yeah, it's a good start.”.
“It is.”, Wayne nodded. “Despite you attacking me last week.”.
“You know why I did that now.”, Vanessa said. “There is nothing I can apologize for.”.
“Let's go inside?”, Wayne asked.
“I'll be there in a minute.”, Vanessa replied. “I just want to finish my cigarette.”.
Wayne headed for the door, when Vanessa said, “Hey, I've got question.”.
“What?”.
“Who are you facing this week?”.
“Valorie Evans.”.
“The National Champion?”.
“Yeah.”, Wayne shrugged.
“How do you feel about it?”.
“The same way I felt when you attacked me last week.”.
“And what was that?”.
“I couldn't fight back.”.
“Why not?”.
“You know very well why not.”.
“We're both women?”.
“Exactly.”.
Wayne dropped himself against the frame of the door as he flicked his cigarette from his fingers. “I know you guys have no problem facing off against men, but for the life of me, I couldn't bring myself to fight a woman. Even with what we do, I don't think it's right.”.
“You're a true gentleman, Wayne.”, Vanessa said, smiling. “You've always been.”.
“Thank you.”, Wayne nodded, slowly, before walking inside.
<***>
When night fell,
I played the record player that Abuelita bought me,
I played all the records that she had on her shelf,
And I danced and I sang,
As I dined and as I opened my presents,
While my Mommy and my Daddy celebrated eight years ago today.
I got to my Mommy's present,
And jumped into the air as I came to find,
My very own wrestling costume, how it really did shine,
And canvass, acrylic, and water colors, tools I can now claim mine,
This is what she gave me for eight years ago today.
Then I got to my Daddy,
He smiled and he told me to close my eyes,
He walked out and he came back soon,
And when he returned, I shouted in surprise,
I was given a bulldog for being born eight years today.
But in the end,
I had gotten what I prayed for and wished,
It was something I truly had missed.
I wanted to be with my Mommy and my Daddy,
Again, as we were eight years ago today.
"Eight Years Ago Today"
Music & Lyrics By: Scarlett Quinn McGurk & "Mama" Angela Sandoval (AKA: Abuelita. AKA Grandma)