Squatch
Main Eventer
Joined on: Feb 17, 2010 14:16:53 GMT -5
Posts: 3,597
|
Post by Squatch on Oct 8, 2011 1:31:07 GMT -5
|
|
RCW
Main Eventer
Joined on: Jul 24, 2009 11:30:57 GMT -5
Posts: 2,460
|
Post by RCW on Oct 8, 2011 5:15:49 GMT -5
Lovely jubbly!
Segment #1
Pics are rather small, not a fan of there size's.
Not a big fan of this 'titantron' thing. I like where this Austin-Punk storyline is going.
Match#1
Some nice posing, sometimes I had no idea what was going on though, wait Ziggler won?
I'm confuzzled.
Main event
Wow, that was quick. How can Gallows get involved? Anyway some nice poses.
Well, in honesty i expected alot more. Where was the highlight reel? Where was the entrance?
|
|
|
|
Post by deskjet on Oct 8, 2011 9:42:39 GMT -5
entranceway? Why's it laying on the ground? Poses are stiff. String everywhere. Commentary seemed very canned. this whole sequence made no sense:    The main event was actually pretty decent. THis is my feelin about it. You only have two matches, given that, I'd think you'd put a little more effort into making the commentary more expressive. Speaking of effort, and I'm not suggesting you didn't make one, but with this being another attempt, among several, at a fed, and you claiming it to be your last one, I had hoped to see a bit more put into it. Get something other than vcr tapes, make a decent print out/cut out for your arena, put some clothes on your spectators,lol, and use any one of the suggested programs to edit out your string. You can have a short show but make it still stand out by just how you present it. Don;t mean to sound so harsh, but i'd like to see you do well with this fed and stick to it. If this is what you want your pic fed legacy to be, then, that's your right...But I think, for as active as you are on the board, and as many feds that you've seen, you have an opportunity to really distinguish yourself as someone other than the kid that changes his fed every 5 days  . If this is your last fed attempt, show it! If you're gonna go out, go out with a bang! I hope you can take the advice as constructive criticism and strive to make your fed great. Come on man, you can do it!  |
|
Micro
Main Eventer
Joined on: Aug 12, 2009 10:44:17 GMT -5
Posts: 1,230
|
Post by Micro on Oct 9, 2011 3:27:47 GMT -5
Cool, Dominance #1 is up! Let's take a look...Here's what I liked:
1. Arn Anderson and Dean Malenko for commentators is definitely different, so that's cool.
2. Austin/Punk is a nice feud and a great way to start a show! Hmm, lights go out and so does Austin? Something's going on here, it should be interesting to see what happens with this!
3. A Fatal Six-way for the Pure Dominance Championship is a bold move for your first match! Everyone got in on the action, so that's good. Ziggler getting a controversial win works for moving a feud along.
4. Dominant President Edge is a cool touch, I like how he looks and the title has a neat ring to it!
5. Punk vs Cena is a good main event match, a good surprise from President Edge!
Ok, now here's my critique on what I felt could be improved...
1. Like RCW said, the pics just look small and cramped. Most of them seemed to be taken from far away which makes the action seem that much more tiny. It's similar to seeing cell phone video footage of a WWE event from someone who's a section or two in the back. Are you using a digital cam or a webcam? Does it have Macro-Mode? Macro mode is great for getting tighter shots that still come out clear, if you have that feature on your cam.
2. Your arena setup is a clean one, and I like that, but it could use a few quick tweaks, IMO. I actually like the VHS tape seating section you created, it works nicely. I'd just recommend covering it up with construction paper or something so that we can't immediately tell that they're VHS tapes. I also think your titantron entrance setup is unique but, like others mentioned, gives off the feeling that it fell over. I see that you included some nice mini-posters there but they don't look right on the floor like that. I'd suggest keeping the ground scaffolding and just add some type of entryway to it. It could be as simple as a cardboard cutout of an arched doorway. Those mini-posters belong up on a wall somewhere.
3. Commentary could use a little flavor. There were nice instances where some background information was thrown out (It's good to know that Ryder and Morrison are enemies, for example) but most of the time, there were 2-4-picture pauses before we'd get a quick oneliner. In a match with 6 competitors in the ring at the same time, there's going to be a lot of action happening and the commentators are our only link to deciphering what's going on. On that note...
4. Sequences should flow better. I know Basic figures can be stiff to work with, so I can understand issues with the posing, but there was a lot of action that didn't make much sense. In the first match, Christian connects with an awkward clothesline and it's enough to take down Morrison for a near-fall? What were Kofi and Ziggler doing in the corner? Cool, Christian is going for the KillSwitch...On top of Ryder?! Ouch! There's another near-fall and it still gets broken up three pics later? The final sequence was the most confusing. Morrison somehow stands up to pull up Ziggler and Ryder in the middle of a Sleeper Hold, into some type of pin by holding them upside down but gets tackled by Christian into a heap of twisted bodies...And the ref gives the pinfall to Ziggler?! I understand it was supposed to be a controversial win but it just came across as sloppy.
In the main event, it's ok that Cena got owned. It was a weird start, though. I thought Cena ran out to hit Punk but he wasn't there. But wait, he's there with a cheap shot! I see, I guess Cena was saluting the crowd and got sucker punched, err, kicked. I'll let Punk get away with that. But Luke Gallows got away with way too much. He should've gotten Punk DQ'ed from the start, he was attacking Cena in front of everybody! The Anaconda Vice to Cena becoming SuperCena didn't make sense to me, especially since Cena did nothing more than flex...And why did Gallows take out the ref? Punk had control of this match the whole time. It's ok for Gallows to beat Cena into the table in plain sight but he couldn't be seen holding up Cena for Punk to deliver finishers? It was a squash match and that's fine but it just felt abrupt for a main event and like something should've happened at the end of the show.
Well, I hope I'm not sounding too harsh, you've got good ideas & matches and I want you to keep developing your fed. Overall, this episode just feels rushed, that's all. With a few improvements, your next shows will only get better. I looked back at your KOH podcast and that one flowed better, so I know you can do it. Dominance is a cool concept and has a lot of potential, so keep it up and thanks for posting!
|
|
|
|
Post by brm on Oct 10, 2011 14:11:49 GMT -5
Ok, finally we get a show from you! Ok, so Punk is just the world champion off the bat. I thought it was kind of odd how Punk just brought up Austin, but he's here in the building, so it makes sense now! I guess I just didn't know who to expect in your fed, and it looks like all era's are being brought together perhaps. Ok, this six man was kind of rough. I couldn't follow the action at all, and the lack of commentary just made it harder to understand what was going on. Perhaps you should add commentary to explain what is happening instead of just saying the match is great or counting pins. I did love how you used string throughout though. That was great to see. And now it's just Cena vs. Punk now. I wish you hadn't made reference to the actual WWE with stuff like "This guy used to be the number one guy in the WWE. Punk took his place at the top though." I mean, if this is supposed to be in canon with the actual WWE, why are Punk and Cena in "Dominant," as the WWE would not allow them to be in other feds. I don't know, I guess it's just a pet peeve of mine that pic feds should either not reference actual feds, or actually fit into continuity with them if they do reference them. Anyway, the match did not seem like a main event at all. It was a squash match, and if this is the John Cena who has all the history of the WWE behind him, why would he have lost to Punk without hitting a single move? This match seemed more fan fiction than pic fedding. Anyway, I'm really glad to see you actually starting up a fed, and hopefully keeping it going. It can only get better and more polished from here. I really love your bleacher style crowd, and your arena is nice and basic and clean. Just keep it going and you'll get better.
|
|
