Post by Rated R on Oct 26, 2011 12:44:39 GMT -5
NOW
Trace Demon: No! It’s not happening, just... no! Never in a million years, not if the planets were aligned and Sagittarius was in the house of who gives a damn!
If you can’t tell...
Liam Taylor: So that’s a no then.
Trace Demon: Not if the entire history of time and space was on the line and this was the only thing that could stop it happening, just... no!
...I’m a little bit reluctant. Even when Liam called me a few days back, having avoided me for the better part of two weeks I knew what he was calling about. Should have just said no then. Damn me for being considerate.
Liam Taylor: But you told Katherine that you’d meet her, that you’d hear her out.
Trace Demon: No, I told Katherine that if she called I’d listen...
Which was a lie all in itself.
Trace Demon: I never said anything about meeting her in person. Do you not remember what happened last time she wanted to talk?
Liam Taylor: Yes but...
Trace Demon: Then you remember what happened. And yet you still wonder why I don’t want to see her.
It’s like he’s oblivious to the obvious. Then again he isn’t the one who spent two weeks in the hospital because of his crazy coked up ex-girlfriend. But then, she had her reasons...
No! Stay strong!
Trace Demon: I’m going to be a father any day now, I want to be there when my child is born, and not just be in the same hospital, alright?
He sighs and takes a sip of his coffee. I do the same with my tea. Ever since I did that show out in the UK I’ve developed and unhealthy taste for the beverage. Admittingly it’s healthier than coffee and tastes better, but still it isn’t really the Canadian way.
Although I would of course have to have gone home to Canada sometime in the past three years to claim to follow the Canadian way, but whatever.
Liam Taylor: She’s better now Trace. I’ve spoken with her, she isn’t going to fly off the deep end. But she needs to do her apologies, and you are definitely on that list.
Trace Demon: I’m just not comfortable with it.
Liam Taylor: What are you so afraid of?
Trace Demon: I’m not afraid Liam... I’m ashamed, alright.
Liam Taylor: You, ashamed?
Trace Demon: I know, it sounds unbelievable right? The big bad demon has a soul.
Liam Taylor: That isn’t what I meant.
It’s exactly what he meant and we both know it. But who can blame him? My track record does speak for itself. But you’d be surprised how many regrets I’ve got in my back pocket, how many lives I’ve ruined just by being part of it. It’s like I’m Bret Harrison, everything I appear in can be amazing but it still gets cancelled in the end.
Liam Taylor: So your ashamed, why?
Trace Demon: Let’s not skirt around the truth, we both know I’m the reason that girl got so messed up. She was perfectly fine, then she met me and everything turned to s**t.
Liam Taylor: Trace...
Trace Demon: Ah, no interrupting me...
Not during quiet contemplation time.
Trace Demon: I messed her around, got her hooked whether I meant to or not, and then when things got complicated... well we both know what happened then.
Silence creeps in. And not just that simple awkward silence. That kind of silence that means you can actually think about all the things you’ve done wrong.
And then the phone rings, and you’re reminded of the one thing you’ve done right.
Trace Demon: Hello... Alexa? Wait, what... alright, I’ll be right there... don’t panic... I said don’t panic... well there’s no need for that kind of language.
I hang up the phone and rise from my seat, like a Phoenix from the ashes. Or some equally played out metaphor.
Liam Taylor: What’s going on?
Trace Demon: It’s Alexa, she’s gone into labour.
< *** >
TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO
THREE MONTHS AFTER MEETING ANNA & KATHERINE
Three months seems like a long time, right? I mean in three months you can do so many things. You could watch the entire box set of Lost and maybe even figure out everything that is going on. You could hit the gym and lose that extra stone you’ve been talking about for the past year. You could even meet a girl that changes your life. Or you could do absolutely nothing but take pills, try and ruin your own life and be well on your way to ruining a girl’s life but getting her hooked on pills and sleeping with her sister.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I did in those three months.
Katherine Dawson: We need to talk about this!
Anna Dawson: There’s nothing to talk about! Get out!
No, this isn’t the moment where Anna discovered I’d secretly been sleeping with her sister. That moment would be a whole lot worse.
Katherine Dawson: I’m not leaving until you pack your bags and come with me. You’ve got a problem Anna, you need help!
Anna Dawson: Trace, will you tell my sister to get the f**k out of the apartment.
Trace Demon: I said I wasn’t getting involved.
It’s not that I wasn’t getting involved. It was that I couldn’t get involved. I was so strung out that I couldn’t even get out of the bean bag chair if I had tried. I mean that’s how you know that it was bad. Not that I couldn’t stand up, this wasn’t the first time that had happened, but because I had actually gone out and bought a bloody bean bag chair.
Katherine Dawson: He isn’t good for you Anna!
Trace Demon: I am like, right here you know.
Katherine Dawson: How many pills have you taken today Trace?
Trace Demon: Well there was... two at breakfast, then I had one for a snack about an hour after that...
Katherine Dawson: You disgust me.
I disgust myself.
Why do I keep bringing myself back here, to the very worst moments in my life? Why do I keep thinking about this, about her? I’m doing the right thing by not meeting with her, aren’t I?
Anna Dawson: Don’t talk to him like that! I love him!
I remember being surprised, even in the haze. Love? To me this was never about love, it was never about feelings or caring or anything like that. I kept Anna around because I was lonely. Because I was tired of going out and finding some random whore in a bar or a club that I could bring back and pretend that the pills were a onetime deal. With Anna I could be myself, as much of a pathetic piece of s**t that I was back then. But love... this was never about love.
Katherine Dawson: Don’t be so stupid.
Anna Dawson: Don’t call me stupid! Just because you are all alone and I’ve got somebody who loves me.
Katherine Dawson: He doesn’t love you Anna! He’s been...
She almost lets it slip there and then. Maybe it would have been better if she had. Better than the alternative anyway, better than reality.
Anna Dawson: He’s been what Katherine? What lie do you want to tell this time?
I wish I could go back and tell her. Tell her that none of what Katherine told her was a lie. In the three months that we’d been seeing each other Katherine had tried getting her away from me time and time again. Back then I thought it was just because she wanted me all to herself. That was how arrogant and vain I was (okay, so some things don’t change). But now I can see that it was because I was never any good for her. I was never any good for anyone.
Katherine Dawson: It’s... it’s nothing, but you need to come with me... please.
Her tone breaks my heart.
Anna Dawson: Just leave me alone!
She stormed off into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. They’ve played this game dozens of times before and this was always the result. A lesser person would have given up by now, left Anna to follow this road straight into the ruin that awaits. But not Katherine, she’ll keep coming back.
Katherine Dawson: Damn it Anna.
She’ll keep trying because she cares so much. She cared for Anna even in her darkest of times. At that point I remembered caring for my siblings, Faith and Axel, in the same way. Then I remembered how I ran out on them, left them to deal with my drunk waster of a father on their own and it kills me. It’s a moment of clarity, a moment of realisation, a moment in which all the pills make absolute sense.
It doesn’t excuse me for it. It doesn’t give me any rights to forgiveness. I pay for those wasted years every day of my life, just by remembering them... just by looking at the scars...
Trace Demon: Well that was thrilling.
Katherine Dawson: Damn it Trace!
You know what’s really sad? The fact that it took my three attempts to get out of the bean bag chair. I should have hit rehab there and then.
Trace Demon: What did I do?
Katherine Dawson: Everything! Nothing! I just... you aren’t good for her, just let her go.
Trace Demon: But I’m good for you? Is that what you’re saying?
I move in for the kiss. She pushes me away. She wants nothing to do with me right now. I don’t see how I could have ever thought otherwise about this moment. What’s appealing about a man whose high as a kite and sending your sister on the exact same path.
Katherine Dawson: You keep away from me Trace, and you do the right thing for my sister. If there is anything left in that disgusting husk of a heart for another human being then let my sister go.
She storms out, slamming the door behind her. I collapse against the wall. A tear rolls down my cheek. I never noticed that at the time. Was it a sign that she had made a breakthrough. If what happened next hadn’t happened then would I have sent Anna after Katherine, made it so she never saw me again?
So many maybes.
Anna Dawson: Is she gone?
Trace Demon: Yeah, she’s gone. But maybe...
I’m about to tell her that maybe Katherine was right. I should have said it, should have spat it out. Done something right for the first time in god knows how long.
But Anna got there first.
Anna Dawson: I’m pregnant.
Trace Demon: What?
Anna Dawson: I’m pregnant. That’s why I could never leave you. We’re going to have a child.
So many maybes.
But not enough time.
< *** >
FOURTEEN HOURS AFTER THE BIRTH
I’ve been standing here for what seems like days. I just can’t take my eyes away. Can’t shake this feeling that I’ve finally done something right for the first time in my life.
I’m a father.
The labour was... just as painful and crazy as everybody says it will be. Sure, I wasn’t the one giving birth but Alexa has a vice grip when she wants to. I’m still not sure if I’ll ever get proper feeling back in my hand. But it doesn’t matter, because in that nursery lies my little girl.
Little Eliza Demon (Obviously that isn’t the babies real surname, but let’s not ruin the mystique)
Alexa Jacobs: She’s beautiful, isn’t she?
She caught me off guard, but that’s okay. I’m just happy that she’s fine, that everything went alright. You hear about all these horror stories that you can’t help but fear that you will be just another addition sometime down the line.
Trace Demon: Yeah, she is.
And she really is. I never understood it before. This idea that newborns look anything other than a miniature alien with a load of weird sludge over them but as I look at my child, my daughter, I see nothing but perfection.
Alexa Jacobs: Have you slept yet? You look exhausted.
Trace Demon: Haven’t had time.[
Nearly forty eight hours without sleep. That’s about right.
Alexa Jacobs: You should get some rest. You need to catch a flight in a few days.
Trace Demon: You really think I’m going to work and leaving you on your own with our newborn baby?
Alexa Jacobs: Unless you intend to get a real job to pay for all the stuff we need for the baby, then yes.
Trace Demon: Well played. Alright, but I’ll be back in a few hours, alright?
She answers me with a tender kiss on the cheek. I smile, look at my newborn daughter one last time and walk away. I manage to catch an elevator just before it closes and I stand there my mind drifts. Drifts to something that I’ve struggled to not think about for the past few hours. As I get outside I pull out my phone and dial Liam’s number.
Trace Demon: Hey Liam.
...
Trace Demon: Yeah, she’s absolutely fine. Perfect in fact.
...
Trace Demon: Eliza. It just felt... right.
...
Trace Demon: I know, look I’m just ringing to tell you that... to tell you that I’ll meet her.
...
Trace Demon: Yeah, I know. Just let her know alright? Just let Anna know that I’ll meet her.
< *** >
They say becoming a parent gives you a new perspective, that it makes you see things in a new way. Well I can assure you that it’s very much true. And it isn’t limited to the way you see everyday life... no, it isn’t limited to that at all. It is an all encompassing change of perspective that leaks into every fibre of your being. It takes every aspect of you and it twists it, it moulds it into something new, something fresh, something... different. For me that perspective is one of responsibility. It means I have to behave myself around my newborn daughter. It means I have all this anger and rage bottled up because I can’t just run out to the gym every time something annoys me... no, I can’t do that at all. What I can do however is bring it into that ring... use it against people, make them hurt, make them bleed and suffer like they’ve never suffered before... which of course, brings me to Superbrawl.
In case you haven’t heard at Superbrawl there will be a triple threat match. A triple threat match to determine the number one contender to the WFWF Heavyweight Championship. As the name implies there will be three men in that match – Ace Bennett, Kyzer... and myself, Trace Demon. Now in the interest of fairness I intend to look at all three men with my new perspective, my new... insight. Because you see, it’s useful, being able to see things in a new light. It lets you see things you didn’t see before, things that were hidden for whatever reason. Things you were simply... blind to.
So let’s start with you Ace Bennett. The last time we met you... you beat me, fair and square in the middle of that ring. Bravo. I saw what you said, what you thought about me. You said I underestimated you... and you were right, because I didn’t see a thing worth worrying about. I didn’t think your miserable excuse for a career meant there was anything worth worrying about. But hey, I was wrong. I’m only human after all. Even I make mistakes. And underestimating you was certainly a mistake... a mistake that I won’t be making a second time round.
You see Ace, you got my attention. Now you might be thinking that’s a good thing. You might be sitting there thinking about how proud you are that people are finally paying attention. But you shouldn’t be. Because the last thing a thriving career like yours wants is my attention. The last thing a thriving career like yours needs... is my attention. Because it is my attention that is going to end that thriving career. It’s my attention that is going to leave you in the hospital breathing through a machine. It’s my attention that is going to make sure you can never walk again! It’s my attention... that will end you. So you can prance around and give yourself all of the nicknames you want because I’m no longer underestimating you. I’m going to take you as seriously as I’ve ever taken anyone, and that means I’m going to hurt you more than I’ve ever hurt anyone.
Then there’s you Kyzer. The last time I spoke about you I called you old. I mocked you because you are better off in a home than in a wrestling ring. But as I said, I’ve got a new perspective. And in that new perspective I can see the other side of the coin. Your age... your age isn’t just a detriment. Your age doesn’t just mean that you can’t get in the ring without putting your back out... no, your age means experience. Your age means that you’ve wrestled so many people that you’ve probably gotten a plan for every style. So I won’t overlook that... no, I’ll see it as the advantage it is. You’re going to come into this match with years more experience than either myself or Ace Bennett. And that means something, right? I mean you’re Kyzer... big bad Michael Kyzer...
Big bad Michael Kyzer. So big and bad he has to bring help to every fight! Twice you’ve caught me off guard thanks to a helpful second... twice you’ve made me look like a fool because I didn’t see it coming. But really? Do you really think that Fred Durst or Drakz is going to be of any help when you step into that ring at Superbrawl? Do you really think that I’m not going to be ready for you to have some ace in the hole? Is it really that hard for you to fight on your own or do you just not have it in you anymore? Do you just not have what it takes to fight me and Ace Bennett on your own?
But it doesn’t matter to me Kyzer... it doesn’t matter one damn bit! You bring all the help you want. You can bring Fred Durst, you can bring Drakz, hell you can bring your poor disappointed old mother because I have no problem with hurting every single one of them! You bring all of your friends, or rather the people who pretend to be your friends, and I will hurt and maim every single one of them! And then when it’s all said and done and I’ve left everybody you know lying in a pile of corpses I will turn to you. And just because your hip might not actually break when you step into the ring doesn’t mean it won’t be broken by the time your carried out of it...
And finally we come to the only man that really matters... me. This match is for a chance to become the WFWF Heavyweight Champion. I’ve been champion before. I beat a man by the name of DGX for that title. But the truth is... the truth is that I’m not satisfied. I am not satisfied with that pathetic disgraceful mockery of a title run. One hundred and eighty days... all one hundred and eighty days of that title run was absolute bulls**t! All of it! One hundred and eighty days of absolutely f*****g s**t! It was nothing to be proud off, it was nothing to brag about. It was pathetic... it was pathetic, it was ridiculous, it was terrible. So this is a chance... this is my chance to redeem myself. This is my chance to take that title once again and run with it, run with it until I simply can’t go any further. This match is the first step to becoming the WFWF Heavyweight Champion and proving to you all that I am the greatest damn wrestler you have ever seen!
Past... present... future...
They’re just three words, but they’re the three words that I’ve heard being used to describe this match. And do you know the funny thing? Do you know what is so damn well funny about that?! It’s because they all mean me! I’m the past, I’m the present and I’m the god damn future! Let me... let me explain.
You see, I know that I’m not the most experienced of the three of us. I know that Michael Kyzer has been doing this longer than me, but people don’t care about what happened in the Stone Age Michael. They just don’t give a crap about what you did back in the good old days. The last time you were of any relevance was five years ago! The kids these days, with their video games and their reality tv and all of their porn, they don’t give a s**t about what happened five years ago. They’re lucky if they remember what they were doing last week! So out of the three men in this match they know that I have been the main event the past few years! They know that I have been in that ring giving it my blood and sweat and tears every night! They know that I am the one who has held this promotion on his shoulders while you were off doing whatever the f**k a pathetic drug addled freak does! I am the true past of this company...
And I’m the present too. You see this is my time. I’m the one who people are paying to see. I’m the man that when they buy a ticket they know I’m going to bring it. And I am damn sure the man that is going to walk out the victor. They know it, I know and you both know it whether you want to admit it or not. I’ve made a point out of being anti-authority or anti-King Kraig or anti-whatever the f**k is popular this week but honestly... I’m anti everything! I am against anything that is going to get in my way and take the spotlight that I damn well deserve! The spotlight that I work for every f*****g night of my life! This is my time and anyone who tries to take that away will find my foot on their throat as the last few breaths escape their body...
And the future. What of the future I hear you ask? I know everyone has a claim to it. Kyzer is going to claim that the future is him back on top where he belongs. Ace Bennett is going to claim that he is the future because he’s young and popular and hasn’t broken too many bones yet. But there is only one true future... and that future involves me, EBR or Alex Sean and the WFWF Heavyweight Championship! And you know why? Because I want it, because I deserve it, because I am damn well going to take it whether you like it or not!
I am the past! I am the present! I am the future! And if you get in that ring thinking otherwise Kyzer, if you step into that ring thinking it is your time Ace... well then I’m going to have to make an example out of the two of you. I’m going to have to hurt you so bad that you drop to your knees and you beg for mercy. I am going to have to break as many bones as possible until you are lying at my feet asking me to stop. And then... well then I’m going to keep going. I’m going to keep going until there isn’t an ounce of blood left in you. I’m going to keep clawing and scraping away until there is nothing left but lumps of flesh on bone. Because that... that is the way it has to be. That is the way you send a message. That is the way you warn everyone to back off before their bodies are so badly broken that not even their mother would recognise what remains.
Past. Present. Future.
Three Words.
All of them... belong to me.
Trace Demon: No! It’s not happening, just... no! Never in a million years, not if the planets were aligned and Sagittarius was in the house of who gives a damn!
If you can’t tell...
Liam Taylor: So that’s a no then.
Trace Demon: Not if the entire history of time and space was on the line and this was the only thing that could stop it happening, just... no!
...I’m a little bit reluctant. Even when Liam called me a few days back, having avoided me for the better part of two weeks I knew what he was calling about. Should have just said no then. Damn me for being considerate.
Liam Taylor: But you told Katherine that you’d meet her, that you’d hear her out.
Trace Demon: No, I told Katherine that if she called I’d listen...
Which was a lie all in itself.
Trace Demon: I never said anything about meeting her in person. Do you not remember what happened last time she wanted to talk?
Liam Taylor: Yes but...
Trace Demon: Then you remember what happened. And yet you still wonder why I don’t want to see her.
It’s like he’s oblivious to the obvious. Then again he isn’t the one who spent two weeks in the hospital because of his crazy coked up ex-girlfriend. But then, she had her reasons...
No! Stay strong!
Trace Demon: I’m going to be a father any day now, I want to be there when my child is born, and not just be in the same hospital, alright?
He sighs and takes a sip of his coffee. I do the same with my tea. Ever since I did that show out in the UK I’ve developed and unhealthy taste for the beverage. Admittingly it’s healthier than coffee and tastes better, but still it isn’t really the Canadian way.
Although I would of course have to have gone home to Canada sometime in the past three years to claim to follow the Canadian way, but whatever.
Liam Taylor: She’s better now Trace. I’ve spoken with her, she isn’t going to fly off the deep end. But she needs to do her apologies, and you are definitely on that list.
Trace Demon: I’m just not comfortable with it.
Liam Taylor: What are you so afraid of?
Trace Demon: I’m not afraid Liam... I’m ashamed, alright.
Liam Taylor: You, ashamed?
Trace Demon: I know, it sounds unbelievable right? The big bad demon has a soul.
Liam Taylor: That isn’t what I meant.
It’s exactly what he meant and we both know it. But who can blame him? My track record does speak for itself. But you’d be surprised how many regrets I’ve got in my back pocket, how many lives I’ve ruined just by being part of it. It’s like I’m Bret Harrison, everything I appear in can be amazing but it still gets cancelled in the end.
Liam Taylor: So your ashamed, why?
Trace Demon: Let’s not skirt around the truth, we both know I’m the reason that girl got so messed up. She was perfectly fine, then she met me and everything turned to s**t.
Liam Taylor: Trace...
Trace Demon: Ah, no interrupting me...
Not during quiet contemplation time.
Trace Demon: I messed her around, got her hooked whether I meant to or not, and then when things got complicated... well we both know what happened then.
Silence creeps in. And not just that simple awkward silence. That kind of silence that means you can actually think about all the things you’ve done wrong.
And then the phone rings, and you’re reminded of the one thing you’ve done right.
Trace Demon: Hello... Alexa? Wait, what... alright, I’ll be right there... don’t panic... I said don’t panic... well there’s no need for that kind of language.
I hang up the phone and rise from my seat, like a Phoenix from the ashes. Or some equally played out metaphor.
Liam Taylor: What’s going on?
Trace Demon: It’s Alexa, she’s gone into labour.
< *** >
TWO AND A HALF YEARS AGO
THREE MONTHS AFTER MEETING ANNA & KATHERINE
Three months seems like a long time, right? I mean in three months you can do so many things. You could watch the entire box set of Lost and maybe even figure out everything that is going on. You could hit the gym and lose that extra stone you’ve been talking about for the past year. You could even meet a girl that changes your life. Or you could do absolutely nothing but take pills, try and ruin your own life and be well on your way to ruining a girl’s life but getting her hooked on pills and sleeping with her sister.
Yeah, that’s exactly what I did in those three months.
Katherine Dawson: We need to talk about this!
Anna Dawson: There’s nothing to talk about! Get out!
No, this isn’t the moment where Anna discovered I’d secretly been sleeping with her sister. That moment would be a whole lot worse.
Katherine Dawson: I’m not leaving until you pack your bags and come with me. You’ve got a problem Anna, you need help!
Anna Dawson: Trace, will you tell my sister to get the f**k out of the apartment.
Trace Demon: I said I wasn’t getting involved.
It’s not that I wasn’t getting involved. It was that I couldn’t get involved. I was so strung out that I couldn’t even get out of the bean bag chair if I had tried. I mean that’s how you know that it was bad. Not that I couldn’t stand up, this wasn’t the first time that had happened, but because I had actually gone out and bought a bloody bean bag chair.
Katherine Dawson: He isn’t good for you Anna!
Trace Demon: I am like, right here you know.
Katherine Dawson: How many pills have you taken today Trace?
Trace Demon: Well there was... two at breakfast, then I had one for a snack about an hour after that...
Katherine Dawson: You disgust me.
I disgust myself.
Why do I keep bringing myself back here, to the very worst moments in my life? Why do I keep thinking about this, about her? I’m doing the right thing by not meeting with her, aren’t I?
Anna Dawson: Don’t talk to him like that! I love him!
I remember being surprised, even in the haze. Love? To me this was never about love, it was never about feelings or caring or anything like that. I kept Anna around because I was lonely. Because I was tired of going out and finding some random whore in a bar or a club that I could bring back and pretend that the pills were a onetime deal. With Anna I could be myself, as much of a pathetic piece of s**t that I was back then. But love... this was never about love.
Katherine Dawson: Don’t be so stupid.
Anna Dawson: Don’t call me stupid! Just because you are all alone and I’ve got somebody who loves me.
Katherine Dawson: He doesn’t love you Anna! He’s been...
She almost lets it slip there and then. Maybe it would have been better if she had. Better than the alternative anyway, better than reality.
Anna Dawson: He’s been what Katherine? What lie do you want to tell this time?
I wish I could go back and tell her. Tell her that none of what Katherine told her was a lie. In the three months that we’d been seeing each other Katherine had tried getting her away from me time and time again. Back then I thought it was just because she wanted me all to herself. That was how arrogant and vain I was (okay, so some things don’t change). But now I can see that it was because I was never any good for her. I was never any good for anyone.
Katherine Dawson: It’s... it’s nothing, but you need to come with me... please.
Her tone breaks my heart.
Anna Dawson: Just leave me alone!
She stormed off into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. They’ve played this game dozens of times before and this was always the result. A lesser person would have given up by now, left Anna to follow this road straight into the ruin that awaits. But not Katherine, she’ll keep coming back.
Katherine Dawson: Damn it Anna.
She’ll keep trying because she cares so much. She cared for Anna even in her darkest of times. At that point I remembered caring for my siblings, Faith and Axel, in the same way. Then I remembered how I ran out on them, left them to deal with my drunk waster of a father on their own and it kills me. It’s a moment of clarity, a moment of realisation, a moment in which all the pills make absolute sense.
It doesn’t excuse me for it. It doesn’t give me any rights to forgiveness. I pay for those wasted years every day of my life, just by remembering them... just by looking at the scars...
Trace Demon: Well that was thrilling.
Katherine Dawson: Damn it Trace!
You know what’s really sad? The fact that it took my three attempts to get out of the bean bag chair. I should have hit rehab there and then.
Trace Demon: What did I do?
Katherine Dawson: Everything! Nothing! I just... you aren’t good for her, just let her go.
Trace Demon: But I’m good for you? Is that what you’re saying?
I move in for the kiss. She pushes me away. She wants nothing to do with me right now. I don’t see how I could have ever thought otherwise about this moment. What’s appealing about a man whose high as a kite and sending your sister on the exact same path.
Katherine Dawson: You keep away from me Trace, and you do the right thing for my sister. If there is anything left in that disgusting husk of a heart for another human being then let my sister go.
She storms out, slamming the door behind her. I collapse against the wall. A tear rolls down my cheek. I never noticed that at the time. Was it a sign that she had made a breakthrough. If what happened next hadn’t happened then would I have sent Anna after Katherine, made it so she never saw me again?
So many maybes.
Anna Dawson: Is she gone?
Trace Demon: Yeah, she’s gone. But maybe...
I’m about to tell her that maybe Katherine was right. I should have said it, should have spat it out. Done something right for the first time in god knows how long.
But Anna got there first.
Anna Dawson: I’m pregnant.
Trace Demon: What?
Anna Dawson: I’m pregnant. That’s why I could never leave you. We’re going to have a child.
So many maybes.
But not enough time.
< *** >
FOURTEEN HOURS AFTER THE BIRTH
I’ve been standing here for what seems like days. I just can’t take my eyes away. Can’t shake this feeling that I’ve finally done something right for the first time in my life.
I’m a father.
The labour was... just as painful and crazy as everybody says it will be. Sure, I wasn’t the one giving birth but Alexa has a vice grip when she wants to. I’m still not sure if I’ll ever get proper feeling back in my hand. But it doesn’t matter, because in that nursery lies my little girl.
Little Eliza Demon (Obviously that isn’t the babies real surname, but let’s not ruin the mystique)
Alexa Jacobs: She’s beautiful, isn’t she?
She caught me off guard, but that’s okay. I’m just happy that she’s fine, that everything went alright. You hear about all these horror stories that you can’t help but fear that you will be just another addition sometime down the line.
Trace Demon: Yeah, she is.
And she really is. I never understood it before. This idea that newborns look anything other than a miniature alien with a load of weird sludge over them but as I look at my child, my daughter, I see nothing but perfection.
Alexa Jacobs: Have you slept yet? You look exhausted.
Trace Demon: Haven’t had time.[
Nearly forty eight hours without sleep. That’s about right.
Alexa Jacobs: You should get some rest. You need to catch a flight in a few days.
Trace Demon: You really think I’m going to work and leaving you on your own with our newborn baby?
Alexa Jacobs: Unless you intend to get a real job to pay for all the stuff we need for the baby, then yes.
Trace Demon: Well played. Alright, but I’ll be back in a few hours, alright?
She answers me with a tender kiss on the cheek. I smile, look at my newborn daughter one last time and walk away. I manage to catch an elevator just before it closes and I stand there my mind drifts. Drifts to something that I’ve struggled to not think about for the past few hours. As I get outside I pull out my phone and dial Liam’s number.
Trace Demon: Hey Liam.
...
Trace Demon: Yeah, she’s absolutely fine. Perfect in fact.
...
Trace Demon: Eliza. It just felt... right.
...
Trace Demon: I know, look I’m just ringing to tell you that... to tell you that I’ll meet her.
...
Trace Demon: Yeah, I know. Just let her know alright? Just let Anna know that I’ll meet her.
< *** >
They say becoming a parent gives you a new perspective, that it makes you see things in a new way. Well I can assure you that it’s very much true. And it isn’t limited to the way you see everyday life... no, it isn’t limited to that at all. It is an all encompassing change of perspective that leaks into every fibre of your being. It takes every aspect of you and it twists it, it moulds it into something new, something fresh, something... different. For me that perspective is one of responsibility. It means I have to behave myself around my newborn daughter. It means I have all this anger and rage bottled up because I can’t just run out to the gym every time something annoys me... no, I can’t do that at all. What I can do however is bring it into that ring... use it against people, make them hurt, make them bleed and suffer like they’ve never suffered before... which of course, brings me to Superbrawl.
In case you haven’t heard at Superbrawl there will be a triple threat match. A triple threat match to determine the number one contender to the WFWF Heavyweight Championship. As the name implies there will be three men in that match – Ace Bennett, Kyzer... and myself, Trace Demon. Now in the interest of fairness I intend to look at all three men with my new perspective, my new... insight. Because you see, it’s useful, being able to see things in a new light. It lets you see things you didn’t see before, things that were hidden for whatever reason. Things you were simply... blind to.
So let’s start with you Ace Bennett. The last time we met you... you beat me, fair and square in the middle of that ring. Bravo. I saw what you said, what you thought about me. You said I underestimated you... and you were right, because I didn’t see a thing worth worrying about. I didn’t think your miserable excuse for a career meant there was anything worth worrying about. But hey, I was wrong. I’m only human after all. Even I make mistakes. And underestimating you was certainly a mistake... a mistake that I won’t be making a second time round.
You see Ace, you got my attention. Now you might be thinking that’s a good thing. You might be sitting there thinking about how proud you are that people are finally paying attention. But you shouldn’t be. Because the last thing a thriving career like yours wants is my attention. The last thing a thriving career like yours needs... is my attention. Because it is my attention that is going to end that thriving career. It’s my attention that is going to leave you in the hospital breathing through a machine. It’s my attention that is going to make sure you can never walk again! It’s my attention... that will end you. So you can prance around and give yourself all of the nicknames you want because I’m no longer underestimating you. I’m going to take you as seriously as I’ve ever taken anyone, and that means I’m going to hurt you more than I’ve ever hurt anyone.
Then there’s you Kyzer. The last time I spoke about you I called you old. I mocked you because you are better off in a home than in a wrestling ring. But as I said, I’ve got a new perspective. And in that new perspective I can see the other side of the coin. Your age... your age isn’t just a detriment. Your age doesn’t just mean that you can’t get in the ring without putting your back out... no, your age means experience. Your age means that you’ve wrestled so many people that you’ve probably gotten a plan for every style. So I won’t overlook that... no, I’ll see it as the advantage it is. You’re going to come into this match with years more experience than either myself or Ace Bennett. And that means something, right? I mean you’re Kyzer... big bad Michael Kyzer...
Big bad Michael Kyzer. So big and bad he has to bring help to every fight! Twice you’ve caught me off guard thanks to a helpful second... twice you’ve made me look like a fool because I didn’t see it coming. But really? Do you really think that Fred Durst or Drakz is going to be of any help when you step into that ring at Superbrawl? Do you really think that I’m not going to be ready for you to have some ace in the hole? Is it really that hard for you to fight on your own or do you just not have it in you anymore? Do you just not have what it takes to fight me and Ace Bennett on your own?
But it doesn’t matter to me Kyzer... it doesn’t matter one damn bit! You bring all the help you want. You can bring Fred Durst, you can bring Drakz, hell you can bring your poor disappointed old mother because I have no problem with hurting every single one of them! You bring all of your friends, or rather the people who pretend to be your friends, and I will hurt and maim every single one of them! And then when it’s all said and done and I’ve left everybody you know lying in a pile of corpses I will turn to you. And just because your hip might not actually break when you step into the ring doesn’t mean it won’t be broken by the time your carried out of it...
And finally we come to the only man that really matters... me. This match is for a chance to become the WFWF Heavyweight Champion. I’ve been champion before. I beat a man by the name of DGX for that title. But the truth is... the truth is that I’m not satisfied. I am not satisfied with that pathetic disgraceful mockery of a title run. One hundred and eighty days... all one hundred and eighty days of that title run was absolute bulls**t! All of it! One hundred and eighty days of absolutely f*****g s**t! It was nothing to be proud off, it was nothing to brag about. It was pathetic... it was pathetic, it was ridiculous, it was terrible. So this is a chance... this is my chance to redeem myself. This is my chance to take that title once again and run with it, run with it until I simply can’t go any further. This match is the first step to becoming the WFWF Heavyweight Champion and proving to you all that I am the greatest damn wrestler you have ever seen!
Past... present... future...
They’re just three words, but they’re the three words that I’ve heard being used to describe this match. And do you know the funny thing? Do you know what is so damn well funny about that?! It’s because they all mean me! I’m the past, I’m the present and I’m the god damn future! Let me... let me explain.
You see, I know that I’m not the most experienced of the three of us. I know that Michael Kyzer has been doing this longer than me, but people don’t care about what happened in the Stone Age Michael. They just don’t give a crap about what you did back in the good old days. The last time you were of any relevance was five years ago! The kids these days, with their video games and their reality tv and all of their porn, they don’t give a s**t about what happened five years ago. They’re lucky if they remember what they were doing last week! So out of the three men in this match they know that I have been the main event the past few years! They know that I have been in that ring giving it my blood and sweat and tears every night! They know that I am the one who has held this promotion on his shoulders while you were off doing whatever the f**k a pathetic drug addled freak does! I am the true past of this company...
And I’m the present too. You see this is my time. I’m the one who people are paying to see. I’m the man that when they buy a ticket they know I’m going to bring it. And I am damn sure the man that is going to walk out the victor. They know it, I know and you both know it whether you want to admit it or not. I’ve made a point out of being anti-authority or anti-King Kraig or anti-whatever the f**k is popular this week but honestly... I’m anti everything! I am against anything that is going to get in my way and take the spotlight that I damn well deserve! The spotlight that I work for every f*****g night of my life! This is my time and anyone who tries to take that away will find my foot on their throat as the last few breaths escape their body...
And the future. What of the future I hear you ask? I know everyone has a claim to it. Kyzer is going to claim that the future is him back on top where he belongs. Ace Bennett is going to claim that he is the future because he’s young and popular and hasn’t broken too many bones yet. But there is only one true future... and that future involves me, EBR or Alex Sean and the WFWF Heavyweight Championship! And you know why? Because I want it, because I deserve it, because I am damn well going to take it whether you like it or not!
I am the past! I am the present! I am the future! And if you get in that ring thinking otherwise Kyzer, if you step into that ring thinking it is your time Ace... well then I’m going to have to make an example out of the two of you. I’m going to have to hurt you so bad that you drop to your knees and you beg for mercy. I am going to have to break as many bones as possible until you are lying at my feet asking me to stop. And then... well then I’m going to keep going. I’m going to keep going until there isn’t an ounce of blood left in you. I’m going to keep clawing and scraping away until there is nothing left but lumps of flesh on bone. Because that... that is the way it has to be. That is the way you send a message. That is the way you warn everyone to back off before their bodies are so badly broken that not even their mother would recognise what remains.
Past. Present. Future.
Three Words.
All of them... belong to me.