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Deleted
Joined on: Nov 14, 2024 23:45:16 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 13, 2011 13:48:22 GMT -5
No need to bump up this diary by saying you updated it... Didn't you kinda just ruin the whole lead up to survivor series and the match it self? I will read this diary though it looks interesting. Please may you leave a reply on my diary
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Post by Red Dragon on Nov 14, 2011 11:43:28 GMT -5
Not much to comment yet. Hopefully the updates will be longer than the first. I do like the layout however, I don't think I've seen it before. I wouldn't say it ruins the storyline since its likley it will change. However, the first line below the picture is bad english you can't say "has went through obstacles." I suggest you check out some other first person diaries on the board to get into the feel of writing. Matty O's HOF diary is brilliant for helping you capturing the writing voice and Kve's Tyger diary is amazing for seeing how you can create emotion in your write ups. So check then out and if you have any questions just PM me. Just keep this going and good luck.
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Squatch
Main Eventer
Joined on: Feb 17, 2010 14:16:53 GMT -5
Posts: 3,597
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Post by Squatch on Nov 14, 2011 18:44:28 GMT -5
Not much to comment yet. Hopefully the updates will be longer than the first. I do like the layout however, I don't think I've seen it before. I wouldn't say it ruins the storyline since its likley it will change. However, the first line below the picture is bad english you can't say "has went through obstacles." I suggest you check out some other first person diaries on the board to get into the feel of writing. Matty O's HOF diary is brilliant for helping you capturing the writing voice and Kve's Tyger diary is amazing for seeing how you can create emotion in your write ups. So check then out and if you have any questions just PM me. Just keep this going and good luck. Thanks Red Dragon. I'll give some replies later tonight and hopefully an update for tonights Raw with the match John is in. |
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Squatch
Main Eventer
Joined on: Feb 17, 2010 14:16:53 GMT -5
Posts: 3,597
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Post by Squatch on Nov 16, 2011 18:33:45 GMT -5
| From: Theodore Long | | To: John Morrison | | Subject: SmackDown Booking (11/18/11) | | Holla playa. I wanted to tell you that I have been told about you wanting a match. Since I heard that, I decided to book you in a match. You'll open SmackDown this Friday night. Your match will be against Daniel Bryan. Good luck playa! |
[/i] [/td][/tr][/table] |
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Post by Red Dragon on Nov 18, 2011 15:30:15 GMT -5
Again, the update itself is decent but short. There's really no need to bump the diary just for that, it would be better to wait until you have more to write about. Maybe have Morrison's own view, have him talk about a few things including the email. Just keep this up and expand your updates and you'll have a good diary.
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Squatch
Main Eventer
Joined on: Feb 17, 2010 14:16:53 GMT -5
Posts: 3,597
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Post by Squatch on Nov 23, 2011 15:36:06 GMT -5
WWE SmackDown!
Friday, November 25th, 2011
John Morrison vs. Daniel Bryan
John Morrison and Daniel Bryan had a short match that put Daniel Bryan over. The match began with a lockup. Bryan went for a German Suplex, and Morrison landed on his feet, jumped into the air and kicked Bryan into the corner. Morrison eventually gets Bryan set up for a Starship Pain, but Bryan gets his knees up and counters the move. Bryan ends the match with a LeBell Lock.
At the end of the match, WWE SmackDown General Manager, Theodore Long comes onto the top of the stage with a microphone.
Theodore Long: Great match guys. It’s too bad that I have some unfortunate news for John. Before this match, I was informed that John was to be alerted that he has been released from his WWE contract.
John Morrison looks down at the ground and begins to look sad. Morrison exits the ring and walks past Theodore Long. The fans booed Theodore Long until the show exited into the commercial.
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Deleted
Joined on: Nov 14, 2024 23:45:16 GMT -5
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Nov 23, 2011 15:48:41 GMT -5
Wait Wait... so you deleted the first e-mail becuase you changed the story line completely even though you siad he will be pushed to the US title up to Survivor Series, not liking that. But other than that the match was really good but maybe you could of added more detail since it was just one match write up even if it was a short match. I will read on to see how you go on with this story. It would be great if you could reply to my David Stone diary.
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