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Post by Prophet of Ash on Feb 28, 2012 12:02:57 GMT -5
Kyzer.. Heh.. F*ck Kyzer.[/b] To know how this story ends, you must know how this story began, and at least the talking points of the story. You can‘t skip to the final chapter and then wonder why nothing that you‘ve read has relevance and everything is confusing.
Prologue: Summer 2010 Unknown Production The End? Or the end of the beginning?They ask me where I’ve been, but they secretly do not care. They ask me why I left to start with, but only to try to harm me. They bask in their glory that I’ve left, but they really know, deep down inside, I’m the glue that held the book together. Love screamed for me, and with a resounding answer, love said no.
I’ve been asked from every two time bit promotion around the globe to return and the answer was always a resounding no. Believe it or not, I had a big plan for a return to the WFWF at one point.. To finish what I had started. To finish the book that I had begun to write. The final chapter, if you will. But then I realized, the book was stolen and someone had already published the incomplete works of Obo as the complete story, a finished work. And by proxy, when you are told it’s a finished work, you assume the story ends abruptly, like some b rate movie with a broken plot. Where’s the happy ending? Where’s the musical montage as the guy realizes it’s not the hot girl he should be going after, but the friend that was there all along? It’s not there. This story has no happily ever after. This story has no real ending, because to have an ending, you have to have a beginning and a middle, and frankly, this story had no beginning.. It had no middle.. And now, it has no end.
This book has already ended. To open a new book would be foolish. The time isn‘t there. The patience isn‘t there. The desire isn‘t there. Consider this the director‘s cut, the deleted scenes to your favorite movie.. The alternate ending. Because that‘s exactly what I am doing. I‘m not satisfied with the finale I had anointed to myself. I had a vision that I just couldn‘t control. And in the end, while I couldn‘t control that vision, that vision certainly could control me. That vision could over take me. That vision could regulate me onto the path that IT wants, not what I want.. Not what you want. Not what anyone wants. You see, this is bigger than anyone. This is bigger than the meager WFWF. This is bigger than the fossil federation, the remains left to gather dust as a new breed and aging veterans cling to what once was great, to try to claim the broken and the desolate as the great and the grandeur. You can shine a turd all day long, but at the end of the day, it’s still a turd.
You want me to save WFWF? You need me to save the WFWF? The WFWF has been in peril, an absolute dying art. The desolate eighteen months that I’ve been away feels like just two months.. Hate me. You know why you hate me? Because I make you hate me. You hate me with such a passion that you want to condemn me, strike with a golden fist and knock me from the Earth.. And you know what that means? That means that I, as a heel, have done my job. That means that at the end of the day, the pessimist has won. The good guy has been trumped.
I’m a heel. I’m a natural heel. I have the natural ability to make people hate me. With little effort, I attract the lowest of the low, the worst of the worst, and the most evil. I bring the worst out of people and bring the people out of the worst. Look at Pierce Deville. Why did no one question the natural attraction between The Deville and myself? The Deville, blackballed from professional wrestling today for being an absolute scum.. And that scum was my partner in crime.
I’m faithless in freedom town. Without a God, left to wallow in self pity. You think I’ve killed myself, but you can’t kill what was dead all along. You can’t destroy what isn’t there. Obo is fake. Obo is a mirage. Obo is a gimmick. But a gimmick, by definition, and ask any expert and they’ll tell you, is just a magnification of the real you. To make a successful gimmick is to take your personality and amplify it by ten. To make yourself larger than life. And that’s exactly what I did. I took myself, the low life, bottom feeding, never had anything but always wanted everything self.. And I made him a superstar. I took the angry teenager that was rejected by the pretty cheerleaders.. And I made him an abusive borderline rapist. I took the metal maniac and turned him into a Satanist. I turned myself into a larger than life cult phenom, someone that even I couldn’t control. I shunned my family and my friends, for I was living the life of this rock star super villain, that deep down inside, really wasn’t an imaginary character any more, but the work of reality.
And now.. Eighteen months later.. I’m a vigilante. I’m a rebel, out to destroy my own legacy with a self tarnishing act. The legacy that I worked so hard to build, I’m out to tear down, just like all those I mocked for so many years.. Johnny Michaels, MOD, Total Apocalypse.. Everyone that returned well past their prime, everyone that lingered long beyond their expiration date of relevance.. And now, I am them. I am the hanging on one, the guy that stands looking back at a room full of memorabilia and memories, wondering why the good old days can’t return. Wondering why the bridges burnt cannot be rebuilt.. And clinching onto what I never wanted in the first place. You see, this was supposed to be a part time gig. Los Hobos was never even supposed to happen, much less the life altering super human success I seen. I was supposed to do the WFWF for just a couple weeks.. A month or two at most.. Just something to help my acting.. And a couple weeks turned into a couple of months.. Turned into a couple of years.. Turned into a couple of championships and a legacy.. Turned into a burnt bridge and a blackballing from the world I grew to know as a whole..
I’ve painted such a vivid picture of what I’m supposed to be that even when I reappear two years later after my sub radical disappearance, people are probably still expecting what I made out of this gimmick, this extension of my person. People are probably still expecting me to be cursing and promoting this violence. I don’t like violence. I don’t enjoy getting hurt.. I don’t enjoy hurting other people.. It’s a cause and effect idea. When you paint someone into a picture, they are forced into their roll. When you take a child and constantly force him to play sports, he’s going to be an athlete. When you constantly degrade a girl and call her names, eventually she’s going to start believing what you say.. When you call someone crazy.. Eventually it’s going to DRIVE them crazy.. And that’s exactly what happened to me.. The WFWF drove me to narcolepsy, insomnia, and violence.. Violence for the sake of violence.. Violence for the sake of self mutilation.. Violence for the sake of a way out..
And now, eighteen months after the fact.. Eighteen months after I left the federation and wrestling as a whole.. I’m still the center of attention. I broke out the bulb but the spotlight won’t stop shining on me.. But a great man once said, it’s better to burn out than fade away.. And that’s exactly what I did. Rather than fade away into obscurity like most people do, rather than taking a leave of absence, allowing myself to be written off in the storylines.. Working my way out.. I burnt out. I disappeared instantly with no looking back. I left the federation as a whole in turmoil, grasping at straws in hopes to grab something that’d work.. From a four way for the millennium to a three way that barely drew flies, it was a cause and effect cycle. The Deville.. Obo.. It was never meant to be. None of this was meant to be.. I was never meant to be anything more than a floundering under card act for a few weeks until I could gain some experience and move on to better things with my life.. So why now, five years after I initially started and eighteen months after I left, am I still the center of attention? Why am I still the center ring at the three ring circus? I quit performing, the clown took the make up off. The show’s over. We’re out of popcorn and the animals are asleep. I try to get out, but I get dragged right back in. I was out. I was completely out.. I was turning the blind eye to a world where it was impossible to do that. Forever unscarred by the history I left, I was done.. And then.. On a whim.. I’m dragged back in.
Check back soon, WFWF.. Keep me in your thoughts.. Keep me in the back of your mind.. Because things are about to get REAL interesting again.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ich werde dich zerstören, Michael Kyzer. Das ist meine kempt ist es, was ich mir aufgebaut, die seit Dezember 2010. Dies ist, wo alle Straßen haben dazu geführt. Ihre Anwesenheit ist meine Verachtung. Und Sie können den Tod von mir sein. Aber ich lasse dich nicht schlagen mir auf die gleiche Weise wie zuvor. Der Meisterschaftsplatz wird mein sein. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WFWF It’s Super Effective 2/28/12 022: With a Little Help from my Friends RE: Michael Kyzer 2/2/12
It’s not every day I am able to visit California, much less for a social visit. It’s nice to be able to get out of the nasty cold Midwest and come to sunny California. I flew into LAX this morning and got my rental car. Now I’m following the directions I was given, driving up the road to Soledad, California. It’s been several years since I seen this old friend. At one point, we were quite close.. But something tore us apart. In my time of need, with no other friends of note to turn to, I think going to this man will be for the best.
I pull up to the gates and present my ID. I’m approved and buzzed through the gates. I find a parking spot, then approach the second set of gates to the main door. It’s kind of weird coming all this way, across the country, to see my friend, but if I’m walking into battle with Michael Kyzer, with no allies, even if he can’t necessarily be in my corner, I think his advice will do me well. Just a few short years ago, everyone said it’d be a dream match if he faced Kyzer. They pegged him as the guy who could probably destroy Kyzer with minimal effort. But the stars didn’t align. Kyzer was away from the WFWF at the time and by the time he returned, my friend had exited stage left. My friend is Prisoner H-96962. He’s better known to WFWF fans as former WFWF Tag Team and International champion, Pierce Deville.
The Deville was someone who took the WFWF by storm. No newcomer, ever, took the federation into the palm of his hand in the same way as The Deville did. The only person who made a similar rise to power would be Michael Kyzer himself. But The Deville did things a bit differently than everyone else. He didn’t conform to the rules that everyone else set. He was reckless in the ring and dangerous and often, his ultra violence didn’t end in the ring. I like that. That type of attitude, that type of “I don’t give a f*ck if you live or die” mentality, that’s something I felt as well. And EBR. I think that’s why, when we all joined up, the super powers of the WFWF, it was no surprise. But it was a big f*ck you to those in power.
I haven’t seen The Deville since his departure from the WFWF in 2008. My attorney advised me against seeing him then. The Deville didn’t leave the WFWF on his own merits, nor did he lose a “loser leaves town” stipulation match, or anything of the sort. In fact, when he left, he took with him one half of the World Tag Team championships, the other half held by your’s truly. Because of The Deville’s abrupt exit, I was forced to relinquish my championship belt. But there’s more to it than losing a smile or getting beat down in a ladder match for The Deville. Continuing wrestling wasn’t an option. It’s hard to wrestle when you’re incarcerated on animal cruelty by way of dog fighting and murder by biological weaponry charges. The two seem to be completely outrageous charges on their own, but they do connect. The same dogs he was fighting, dogs with no shots and many health risks, he used to eliminate one of our most obnoxious enemies. I beat him seven times in a row in WFWF action, but it took The Deville only one “victory” to eliminate Tha CBT forever. Rabies are a bitch.
As I enter the cold, somber, and sterile hallway just inside the main door of the Salinas Valley State Prison, the fun is clearly over. The “vacation” of this visit to California is clearly over, because this place has absolutely no fun to it. The blank grey concrete walls and various contraptions contained within steel bars show a cold, loveless building. I guess that’s why they call it prison. I’m escorted to the visitation area by an armed guard. He seems to be completely unamused with my shaggy hair and somewhat dirty demeanor, keeping his hand somewhat close to his gun at all times. He escorts me to the visitation area. And I see my long lost friend for the first time in almost four years. His short blonde hair was slicked straight back, accentuating the sharp angles of his stony face, and the smile he proffered hardened the look rather than softening it. I approach the glass window, bulletproof glass, and grab the telephone. The Deville already has the other telephone.My word, how mortals take the gods to task! All their afflictions come from us, we hear. And what of their own failings? Greed and folly, double the suffering in the lot of man. See how Aigisthos, for his double portion, stole Agamemnon's wife and killed the soldier on his homecoming day. And yet Aigisthos knew what doom lay in thisWhat the hell are you talking about?You don’t remember that quote, dear friend? It was that, as a greeting, that you first greeted me. You thought that quoting the high school novel “The Odyssey” and relating it to our plight in the WFWF would make you seem like a far more intellectual person than you truly are.Humph.
So how’s prison been treating you, Pierce? You look healthy..Oh, so that’s how it is? We’re going to get into a verbal sparring match are we now chap? Because sitting in here, alone, all the time, I’ve had a lot of time to test my wit with mind control games and I’m guessing my wit is sharper than your’s. Want to whip out our dicks and compare sizes a bit? I bet mine’s bigger.No Pierce, what happens in prison, stays in prison.Nicely played.I’m here for your advise. You’re a master of the game of human chess..I’m also a master of the actual game of chess, so I’ve learned through the prison’s game room.. But go on.I’ve got this match at the Pay Per View, with Kyzer..Conceded bastard, he is.It takes one to know one..
It’s for the Heavyweight title, the World title..And your nerves are getting to you. You’ve got stage freight. You don’t know what to expect out of him..I’m just at my wit’s end, honestly. I’ve been alone for the last month and it’s driving me crazy.Your daughter, you don’t see her any more?The last two weekends that I’ve supposed to have custody of her, she’s made other plans. We got into it a bit, twice, due to some discipline issues.. Typical young teenage girl stuff, shoplifting and getting caught by TMZ, getting caught with condom wrappers, you know..Teenage girl.. How old is she now, Samantha was it?Not old enough, don’t even go there.
He laughsI’m a suave mother f*cker, Schneider. You know how much **** I got on the outside? I could talk the panties off of any woman I wanted to and they never even knew they were being scammed. They thought it was love at first sight, because they looked into my eyes, they seen the sparkle in my eyes and my “genuine” grin, they seen this nice guy that was talking to them in a way that no other guy ever had, due to my unmatched natural charisma, and they were swept off of their feet and into my bed, or where ever I was taking them to for a romp between the sheets.. But in here.. In here the closest I ever get to female contact is when the nurse gives me my twice a year physical. You know what it’s like to get all of your sexual gratification from a 40 something woman touching you with rubber gloves, in the least sexual way possible, while some brooding guard who think’s he’s hard stands there and stares at your naked ass, just waiting for you to make even the slightest move, so he can put led in your ass? You know what that’s like, to jerk off to the same touch that comes but every six months?No, I don’t, because I’ve never been to prison.And you’ve never been to prison because you and your Canadian buddy let old Pierce take the fall. You sent old Pierce up the river for the crimes we all committed. You know you wanted to kill Tha CBT. You know it irritated you to no end that no matter how many times you beat him down, no matter how many times you brutalized him and bloodied him, that he always came back for more. And when he did it, he always had a lot to say about you. It drove you crazy. That’s just how you operate. You let these tapeworms get under your skin, into your head. You know you’re better than these pieces of trash, but you take to heart what they say, and you listen to what they say, until you believe it or until you snap..Trace Demon..And when you snap, oh when you snap.. You’ve got a bit of a temper to you, don’t you? That’s why you and EBR came to old Pierce and said “Piercy, we’ve got this problem see, with Tha CBT see, and we want you to eliminate this problem. Your dogs, that rabies one we looked at, he’s an attack dog, right? You can sick him on Tha CBT and kill him with rabies, right?” Remember that conversation? You said you were cashing in the favor, you personally said that.. You were cashing in the favor about me asking you to help me test that little smoke and mirrors invisibility cloak of mine.. And I believed you, because Schneider, you’ve got a way about you and a way with words that makes someone believe you. They know that deep down inside, you’re full of shit, but they still believe you, because you’ve just got that quality about you that makes people think “you know, maybe this guy is right”. You manipulate people. You manipulate people’s emotions and you use them. I like that quality about you. The fact that when you first meet someone, you can instantly assess their value to you and what they have that you’d like to get from them, be it knowledge, material possessions, prestige, or nothing. You know when you see someone if you can destroy them conventionally or if you need to go through unconventional means to stop them from taking your spotlight. I should’ve seen your setup of me coming long before it happened, Schneider. That belt you’re going after now.. That would’ve been mine in 2008 and it’d still be mine, if you and your buddy hadn’t sent me down the river..And people said I was long winded..If it makes you feel any better, I ended up dropping out of that PPV match too. Quit the federation as a whole.[/color] And let me guess.. You took a sabbatical from wrestling due to a contract dispute with a power hungry owner. He told you to do one thing, you said no, took your ball and went home. But home wasn’t the place for you. You had to compensate for something that you missed out on as a child.. Give me a minute.. Backpacking across Europe! School field trip. You were a trouble maker in school, so you didn’t get to go on the big field trip, so when you had a bit of free time and some money in your pocket, you took off to Europe. Didn’t you.Did someone put out an unauthorized autobiography of my life or something?
Nah, I mostly just sat at home and got fat. Tried to play the daddy role for Samantha and she just grew to resent me. Hooked up with this stripper, got her knocked up, and had another kid. She died when she was giving birth, so I became a single father.So what was it like being a single father in a country you were unfamiliar to?What are you talking about?A lot of people have little idiosyncrasies to them that tells when they are lying. A lack of a poker face, as the phrase says. Some people start blinking a lot. Some people start sweating. I had this ex, every time she lied, she would scratch her left side. You, you start talking a little bit faster. Not a lot faster, just a little bit faster. Like you want to get your lie over with. You just did it there.Are we going to play these psychoanalysis games all day?See, now you turn to hostility. And honestly, I’m just riding along with this foreplay until you tell me exactly why you came here. You had to have had a reason.The match with Kyzer.Oh right, the wrestling match.. Well, why not be a little dirty? You know the old myth, wrestlers cut themselves with tiny razor blades hidden in their tape, to draw blood? If these wrestlers can conceal a razor in their tape, then cut themselves.. Couldn’t you cut Kyzer without the ref seeing? Couldn’t you hide it flat in your tape, so when the ref checks you for weapons, it’s not found? I mean, refs don’t check that well, anyways..Prison thinking right there. Hide a razor and shank a bitch..
I don’t think the referee will be checking me, at all. Or care if I pull a razor out and start cutting Kyzer. It’s no disqualifications. It’s a no rope barbed wire match.Oh, bravo good sir. How’d you manage to get that one?Manipulation.
I wink at Pierce. He‘s all too familiar with manipulating people to get what he wants. He manipulated the entire WFWF system, after all.
What else‘ve you got?How familiar are you with icy hot?Good for joint pain..Also burns like a mother f*cker if you get it in your eyes. Has a referee EVER checked your fingers before a match? EVER?No..Then put icy hot all over your fingers. When the match starts, walk out, call for a lock up, then rake his f*cking eyes. Rub that sh*t right in his eyes. Blind him. A man who can’t see can’t fight.Sup Dead Idol?I was looking more for a scientific edge, a mental advantage going into the match, rather than every dirty little trick imaginable..[/color] So you came to me?You always seemed on top of it in the ring, psychologically. You always seemed to know exactly what your opponent was going to do, before he did it..Because I cheated. When you cheat, you can win easily.Humph. That’s not really the answer I was looking for..Get into his head. Get his playbook. Find out what he’s planning. Either do it the “legal” way and watch a whole bunch of tape, scout his moves, find out what exactly he’s planning.. Or find someone to turn on him.Like my best friend..Your best friend won’t make for much of an effect Trojan Horse.. The Horse is only effective because they don’t see it coming. Your best friend would be detected immediately.No, you don’t understand.. This is already happening.. And I didn’t even realize it.. Pierce, you’re a doll. Thanks man.
I stand up and make my way out of the visitation area. The armed guard gives me a bit of a nod, pushes a button, then escorts me out the door. Pierce gets the last word in as I‘m making it through the door.Got any cigarettes man? They’re like a currency in here..And with that, I’ve left The Deville back locked in my past. See you in 25 to life, “buddy”~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2/2/12 Dear Mr. Schneider, Dear Mr. Schneider. My name is Justin. I am from Denver, Colorado and I am a ninth grader at Slavens School in Denver. I am in Mrs. Fields English class and one of our current projects is to write a letter to one of our heroes. I found your address on Google and since you are my hero, I thought I would make my letter to you. I’ve loved wrestling since I was very young, because my dad and older brother were always watching it when I was really little. I had all the wrestling figures when I was little and they were always my favorite toys to play with. Now I never miss an episode of WFWF Loaded. You’re my favorite wrestler on there because you always win. I like to cheer for you, even if everyone else is cheering for the people you’re wrestling, like when you faced Hutton Brown all my friends were cheering for Hutton but I was cheering for you. My mom says I shouldn’t cheer for you because you’re a rule breaker but I think a lot of the rules that you break are silly rules anyways. I know you’ve got your big Pay Per View match against Michael Kyzer for the championship again coming up. Congratulations on getting to the championship again. I have the DVD from when you faced Reverend Shadow. It’s one of my favorites, because you win the title. I hope you do well at the Pay Per View, because I want you to win the title again. I want to be able to say that my favorite wrestler is the best wrestler around again. I’ve got all of your t-shirts and I wear them whenever I can. A couple of them I can’t wear to school, but that’s okay because I wear them on the weekends and sometimes when there’s no school like on Christmas break. I’ve got a bunch of your posters hanging in my room. I have a plastic barbed wire bat that my dad bought for me on eBay and I have two different action figures of you. I think I have all the videos that have been released on DVD with you on them, and even a couple of the old ones that were only on VCR tape. I’ve started listening to some of the bands that you wear t-shirts for. I’m so glad I got turned on to From Autumn to Ashes and Fear Factory. I used to listen to Bite the Hand that Bleeds almost every day when it was your theme song. I went to a Fear Factory concert a few weeks ago and it was all because I first heard their music because of you. I seen that you trained that girl Kylie to wrestle. I’m sorry she turned on you and sided with Kyzer. That wasn’t right. Maybe when I get older, you can train me to wrestle too. I’ve wanted to be a wrestler since I was five and people say that I’m really strong for my age. I’m on the school’s wrestling team right now, but I haven’t got to go to any meets because I keep having too many detentions to qualify. I’m a lot like you, when people say stuff I don’t like, I just flip out on them and have to fight. I always get in trouble for it though. I seen when you were on TMZ a few weeks ago that you have a daughter the same age as me. That’s neat. I think it’s cool that you have a daughter the same age as me. Maybe if you lived in Denver, we could be friends. I seen her picture on there and she looks like this girl I go to school with named Amber. I’m sure she’s not as mean as Amber though because Amber is kind of mean to me all the time. I’d really like it if you sent me an autograph back, but I’d be happy with just a letter. I’d love to hear what you think about some of the things in my life, and maybe be a pen pal with me. Or just one letter to say that you got this one would be fine. Thanks for reading my letter and I hope to hear from you soon. Your biggest fan, Justin ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Feb 28, 2012 12:03:28 GMT -5
2/3/12
After a lengthy layover in Seattle, I’m to my next destination. It’s technically the next day, thanks to time zones and whatnot. Canadian customs frisked me like I had a bomb strapped to my chest. A big bomb. Like the bomb in “30 Minutes or Less”, the in flight movie. You’d think they wouldn’t show a movie about a dude with a bomb strapped to his chest for an in flight movie in 2012, but hey, them’s the bricks. I’m waiting for my taxi to arrive, so I make a quick phone call. Advise is advise, right? Doesn’t matter who it comes from, right?[/b] Hello, you’ve reached Thunder, I’m not in at the moment, if you’d leave a brief voice message with your name and number, I’ll gladly call you back, thanks! *beep* What kind of asshat has a voicemail with their gimmick name? Seriously? How conceded do you have to be to keep that kind of a voicemail message? Here goes anyways..Hey Thunder, this is Phillip Schneider. You know, the guy who’s coat tails you rode to a technical Hall of Fame induction, with Los Hobos? The guy who you caught on an off day and won the World title from? Yeah, I’m kind of trying to get a hold of everyone I’ve ever really associated myself with, to get whatever knowledge they may have, for my World title match. Guess I called the wrong person, since you have no knowledge. See you when I see you, ass hole. I hang up. I showed him! Way to not answer your phone, ass. You could’ve been in a roleplay that people actually care to read! Whatever, my ride is here. The Indian looking taxi cab driver has misspelled my name, with one L. I make my way over to him. He nods, as if to give a non-verbal question “are you Philip Schneider?” and I give a nod back, as if to say “yes, but my name has 2 L’s, Apu.” A nod can say all that. I follow Apu back to his car and hop in the back seat. We pull off and the meter is running.
Thankfully, I gave the directions I have to the receptionist that answered at the taxi company, because I’m not entirely sure Apu speaks English. He hasn’t said a word since we left the airport and is listening to a radio station in a language I do not understand. This taxi stinks of incense, but none is burning. I think that’s actually Apu that stinks so bad of incense. It could be curry, I guess. I guess I don’t exactly know what curry smells like. Ontario is pretty nice this time of year. It’s colder than the inside of a freezer, but it’s nice. I’m used to the freezing cold, though.
His house is shockingly close to the airport, which I’m grateful for because I don’t know how long I could actually put up with this stink in this car. This is intolerable, honestly. Wash your car and take a bath, dick. I pay my extraordinarily high taxi cab fee and hop out of the car. Apu makes a motion, asking if he needs to wait. I nod yes. For not speaking English, he takes non-verbal cues pretty well. I walk up the lane.. To an apartment complex? I thought I was the only top level WFWF wrestler that lived in a crapty apartment. Guess it’s all relative. Some people sit on thrones and think they are holier than thou, some people live in crappy cramped apartments. Who needs a lot of space, we’re only here like two days a week, anyways. I haven’t even seen my house in three weeks. I walk up, following the address I was given. And I meet my contact in the hall way.[/color][/b] Sup man?If you’re doing a scouting report on Phillip Schneider, you’d go to Hutton Brown. Hutton Brown was the last man to face me on Pay Per View, at Superbrawl. However, I’m not scouting myself, I’m scouting Michael Kyzer. And the last man to face Michael Kyzer is the last WFWF Heavyweight Champion of the World, EBR.
EBR is more than a passing acquaintance and he’s more than just a convenient ally. He’s my last tag team partner. I’ve only teamed with four people in my WFWF time, three with any regularity at all. The missing in action Percy, my two time Tag Team champion partner. The third title reign, with the incarcerated Pierce Deville, a nothing happening very short lived partnership with the worthless sack of skin and bones, the oxygen waster known as Trent Draven, and the man who stands before me. EBR and myself actually held the tag team titles for a short time as well, but like my first title win over Okana, it‘s unrecognized. Damn those record books..There’s a name I haven’t thought of in about five years, Okana.. Another “man?” that was never seen or heard from again after facing me. Note to self, rant on the gay boy.You wanted to talk to me about something?Yeah, sorry.. Kind of spaced off for a minute.You had kind of a JD from Scrubs look going on there. Were you doing the personal life narration flashbacks too? To something like 2006?Heh, nah, just a little jetlagged.
F*cker
We go inside? It‘s freezing out here.Sure.We head down a hallway, EBR taking the lead and leading me into an elevator. He presses three and we head up. There’s an awkward silence, like neither of us particularly know what to say at the moment. The doors open and EBR heads out, me following shortly behind. We head down the hall and to a door, a door just like all the other doors in this building. EBR fumbles with his keys for a moment before opening the door. He heads in, I follow.
The apartment is barely furnished. There’s an old beat up couch, a really ratty looking table, a TV with a stack of porn DVDs underneath it, and not really much else in the room. I expected EBR to live a little bit more sophisticated than this, but times are tough. I guess good for him, to save his money back. I can’t help but comment, though.
I expected your pad to be a little bit.. More. You seem to brag like you’ve got a ton of cash all the time.Oh, I do. This isn’t my house. I live in Miami. This is where I bring prostitutes. Don’t want them bitches knowing where you live. Also come here to buy drugs sometimes. And for meetings like this. Don’t really trust you knowing where I sleep, no offense.None taken.
That’s a lie, but whatever. I need to pick his brain. E is everything I wish I was at the moment. He’s friendless, but because he turned on his best friend. He’s championshipless, but only because he just lost the title.. We have a lot in common, except he’s on the way out while I’m on the way in. I guess he’s more accomplished than I am, since he’s got a place to bang prostitutes that probably costs as much a month as my actual home does.[/b] So what’s up?Michael Kyzer.Good guy.He was a part of King Kraig’s master plan to ultimately f*ck you over, for f*cking him over.Hey man, sh*t happens, causalities of war, no hard feelings.I’ve got Kyzer at the PPV, for the belt. I don’t plan to lose this match, but I need a game plan.Uh, Phil? I can call you Phil, right?Sure.Well Phil, I was unprepared. I wrestled a match like a minute earlier, had a concussion, and still almost won. It’s just the natural fight. The Eye of the Tiger. I don’t think I’ve got the game plan you need.But you beat Alex. And then after that, you took Kyzer to a decent fight, when you were extremely winded, and unprepared. I want to pick your brain, what you did, to be able to stun him at the least. If he’s got a weak spot, I want to know it. If he’s got something that he said to you in the ring, maybe squealed in pain or something, I want to know it..I kind of just went out guns blazing and hoped for the best. Kind of knew I was screwed already and wanted to go out like a champ, like the 2008 Rays. I had an unbelievable magical run.. Then I got beat down by the Phillies. So close, but couldn’t pull the trigger. Sh*t happens.I see..I can’t say I really had any game plan at all. I knew when I seen him coming that he had my number, I just wanted to try to save face and go out on top, you know?If you knew he was going to beat you, why didn’t you just get yourself counted out? The title can’t change hands via count out..
He‘s got this blank look on his face. He‘s clearly heard what I said, and this is clearly the first time it‘s come into his mind. This is like the solving of a rubic‘s cube to him. He‘s been working on it for months and he was just one move away from finding the solution, and I casually strolled up, sat down on his ratty couch, made two twists and solved it. He‘s heart broken. But he‘s got the answer now. I don‘t bother to harp on that point, because it‘d just be a further blow to his ego, and that‘s not something I really need to do at the moment.
So your plan was to just go out swinging.. Maybe you‘re a better boxer than I am? Do you have any boxing tips?Not really man. I just hitting them in the face really hard helps.Hmm..This isn’t really helping me much, you know.. I flew all the way up here from California..[/color] Why were you in California? Aren’t you from Chicago?I was visiting Pierce Deville.Oh, he’s living in California now?He’s still in the same federal prison he got locked up in, in California, in 2008.Oh. Well, at least he’s got a stable house. And basic cable. Three squared meals.. He doesn’t have it too bad. No mortgage to pay, either.Yeah, mortgages suck..
And there’s the awkward silence that was between us in the elevator again. Both of us have things to say, but neither of us really know how to guide the conversation in the direction we need to. It’s like having a recipe that the middle got crap spilled on it. You’ve got the first two or three ingredients, and you’ve got “and let sit for fifteen minutes, or until cool”, so you know what you’re making, and you know a little bit that goes into it, but you’ve got no idea how to get there. I usually just Google it in those cases, but in real life, there is no Google. Well, there’s still Google, but you can’t really use it. Trust me, I Googled it later. “What do I want to say to EBR?” gives me a bunch of results about East Baton Rouge and a few Enterprise Bundle Repository, nothing about this EBR. He breaks the silence though.[/b] So how about that T.O.?I have no idea who or what a TO is, but I don’t want to offend my host. I’m taking a 75% guess that it’s some sort of sports figure, so I’m going to just take a stab in the dark.
He’s a hell of a player.He is, but he’s such a sh*t talker. And he’s kind of crazy. He reminds me of you. Runs his mouth but can back it up.And we’re back to that awkward silence. I’m quickly realizing why I never really hung out with EBR. We really don’t have anything in common, and he’s not much of a support system. I kind of wonder who was formatting his game plans all these years, because maybe that’s who I should be talking to. Great athlete, not much in the planning department. Maybe I should give Weinstein a call.. Maybe he’s got what it takes..
He’s pissed at me since I still haven’t done that TMZ interview, so he probably wouldn’t be much help.
I decide, rather than waiting for EBR to continue the conversation, I probably should. Maybe I can steer the conversation into a direction more appropriate for the WFWF.So what’d you do over New Year’s man? Enjoy that time off?[/color] You know, the usual. Kicked back, got drunk. Watched Chicago and Memphis. What about you?Wasn’t expecting that..
Going to be perfectly honest.. I didn’t watch Chicago and Memphis. I couldn’t even tell you what sport Chicago and Memphis is. In fact, all of these sports references you’re making are kind of going completely over my head. I’ve never really got into any “real sports”. Partly because I was never really athletic, and mostly because I latched onto wrestling at a young age, and “real sport” fans usually just want to talk sh*t about wrestling, so it kind of soured me on them as a whole.Oh..And there’s that awkward silence again..[/b] Well, what’d you do over New Year’s?Well, I just kind of sat in my apartment, alone. Had the lights out most of the night.. Went to bed at like 10:30. My kid blew me off to go stay at her friend’s house. It’s kind of why I’m making this voyage through my phonebook right now, trying to get back in touch with all my friends, so I’m not spending nights all alone much any more. Just so I’ve got people to chill with, you know..Yeah, but we’re not really close like that. We’re more casual acquaintances.We held the tag titles together.We did?When CBT died. I took his belt. Then King Kraig over ruled it. It’s one of the things that led to me quitting.Yeah, Kraig’s kind of a dick.And there’s the awkward silence. This really hasn’t been a productive conversation at all. E’s been way too short with me. It’s like he’s hiding something. Why would you hide your tricks of the trade if you’re not even with the federation. He’s scared. He’s scared if he shows me his tricks, that when he eventually returns (because everyone does) that I’ll smash him.
I’ve got to quit thinking this way. This mindset is why I’m in Canada right now, having just left prison. It’s why all my friends left me. It’s why my own daughter tries to avoid being around me. I’ve got to be nicer to people and try to see their way of thinking. I’ve got to try to understand people, and quit lashing out. This crap like what happened with TMZ has to stop. People see me as a loose cannon and either want to ignite the fuse, see how quick they can make me go off, or walk on eggshells around me as to NOT light me off. It’s a miserable dynamic and a miserable existence to know that everyone around you is filtering what they are saying, for the good or for the bad, because of your psyche.[/b] We done here? I’m kind of hungry, want to go get some lunch.Nah, I ate at the airport.That wasn’t a question. That was a statement. I guess I should have said “I want to go get some lunch”.I just walk away. When you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, it’s a mindset I’ve got to start living by. I make my way to the elevator, ride down to the ground floor, and hop back into Apu’s car. He’s taking me back to the airport, where the next part of my globetrotting journey begins.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 9/29/11Why are you still following me with that damn camera?Because you‘ve got to get used to having the cameras on you at all times.. Even when you‘re drunk.I‘m not drunk. I only had two beers..And three shots of tequila. And two shots of Jack Daniels. And three cans of Four Loko. And a shot of vodka.
And almost on cue, Kylie trips over a rug, runs into a wall, and then falls down, spilling what remains of her presumably Jack and Coke all over her. Luckily, we are near her hotel room and it‘s late, so no one really seen her falling over herself like a drunken fool. I pull out her key card and open her door as she slowly pulls herself back to her feet using the hand rail on the wall.
Let‘s get you in here and to bed, so you can sleep off what will presumably be a hangover from hell..I told you, I‘m not drank. Drank.. I‘m not drunk.. I’m not drunk..And almost on cue, she falls into the door, tripping over her own shoes. On her way down, she kicks her shoes off, sending them flying across the room and crashing into a wall. Without second thought, she starts pulling off her pants too. The door is still wide open. I set over the drunken girl fighting with her pants and shut the door.
Kylie, what are you doing?I’m not going to sleep in these wet sticky pants. Someone spilled their drink on me at the bar.You spilled your drink on you… a minute ago.. In the hallway..Well, I‘m all wet anyways.. And I‘m not going *hiccup* not going to go to bed all wet and sticky..She throws her pants across the room, somewhat at me, but misses and hit’s a vase. The vase stumbles to the floor and shatters. Glad this room isn‘t on my credit card, because I assume there‘ll be some vomit damage in addition to broken things from the drunken floor girl… Her pants aren‘t the only thing that‘s wet though. Her shirt is too. She realizes this. And with no modesty, she peels off her shirt. Little known fact about Kylie, she didn‘t wear a bra. I didn‘t know this until now either. I guess girls with small tits don‘t need to worry about wearing a bra. So her tits are on display nicely. I’m still recording at this point to show Kylie later, that she cannot hold her alcohol at all. That she loses all inhibitions when she’s drunk. I’m not the bunghole you think I am, taking advantage of the drunk girl. She throws her shirt at me too.Should I do a dance for you now *hiccup* since I’m almost naked? Pretend I’m a stripper and you can put dollars in my panties? I need dollars. I don’t have any. I spent all my money at the bar.No.. You just don’t have any money.. I paid your bar tab..Because you have money and I don’t so you should give me some of your money. I prefer bigger than singles..She starts trying to dance. I say trying to dance because she’s not doing well, and gravity is not on her side as she stumbles and trips. She pushes me down on the bed and then mounts me. I almost drop the camera at this point, because I’ve forgotten I still have it. I push a button on the side by accident. I think I just stopped recording. I hit record again, as I pull myself off the bed. Kylie flips over to her back, and peels off her panties, throwing them at me. Again, she misses. Her depth perception is way off.[/b] All those promos on camera.. It got me comfortable around the camera. Am I acting naturally around the camera now?Yes.
”Naturally“ as in, naturally the day she was born. She‘s spread out on the bed, completely naked and still someone stained with coke. She‘s staring me down.Do you think I’m good around the camera now?Drunkiness sure limits her shyness and inhibitions, if that‘s the meaning of “good“. Maybe giving her a single shot of Jack Daniels will make her a good promo, without turning her into a butt naked whore..
This was a great idea…
I‘m pandering to her a bit at this point, because I really don‘t want to pick a fight with the drunk naked girl. She seems like the type that will try to start a fight when she‘s drunk. Hopefully I can just get her to bed before she hurts herself or someone else, or does something she‘ll really regret. I mean, I‘m enjoying the show she‘s providing, but if she really meant what she was doing, she would have done it without a gallon of alcohol in her system. Maybe I can get her naked again when she‘s not sloshed out of her mind, but for now, she just needs to sleep it off.[/b] Well, if I can’t be your personal stripper, how about your personal whore? You f*ck me however you want and give me some money for it?Sigh.. Horny drunk girl.. The downfall of even the greatest of men, but I’m not going to take advantage of my student in this way. It would look bad on me professionally and I don’t need the negative publicity, not to mention I don’t want to take advantage of my friend..
We’ll see Kylie, we’ll talk about it tomorrow, see how you feel about the proposal tomorrow.. Be ready to get up early, because we’re doing a lot of running tomorrow, and loud noises, so get some sleep.Kk.. Night night love master..She crawls up in bed, sticking her ass up in the air on the way, then flops down face down. And there she goes to sleep. I make my way out of her room, across the hall to my own room, to get a night of well deserved rest.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Feb 28, 2012 12:04:03 GMT -5
2/7/12Training has never been my thing. Lifting weights, running, building up cardio.. I never really seen the point of it, especially with my style of wrestling. It’s not about being able to lift more in the gym when someone is driving a wooden skewer into your skull. I’ve faced some big monsters in my days.. Like, Zmaster for example.. He was six foot ten inches, three hundred plus pounds.. And I crumbled him like a used paper towel.
But this match, this is different. I feel like if I don’t prepare adequately, it’ll be my gravest mistake. This is only my third shot at the WFWF World Heavyweight title after all. The first match, I took it lightly.. I came in and I wasn’t prepared. I let the bright lights get to me.. The fact it was my first Pay Per View main event and the fact it was my first Heavyweight title match.. But when I knew what to expect.. I delivered. I delivered big time. I delivered so big I ran Reverend Shadow out of the federation for several years, to the point he feared me so much, he only returned when he could be assured I was gone. And when I returned to reclaim my throne, not literally, faggot, Shadow ducked his head, tucked his tail, and ran for the hills.
The game plan I came in with against Reverend Shadow seemed like a good one to bring against Kyzer too. There’s only been one no rope barbed wire match in WFWF history. No one was brave enough, or stupid enough, to do it before me and after they seen the carnage and permanent destruction it caused, no one was stupid enough to try it again. I guess this makes it my signature match.. I don’t fear the wire. I’ve watched the video of the match with Reverend probably a hundred times.. I know how the barbs feel.. It doesn’t scare me.. It doesn’t phase me..
But am I physically fit enough? The last time I was in a Pay Per View main event was almost four years ago and it was a loss to Thunder. Thunder, OF ALL PEOPLE. This isn’t going to be a loss. So as if Chicago in January wasn’t cold, snowy, and miserable enough, I’ve traveled to the Bronx, in New York City.
So I sit in this gym, Powerhouse Gym, in the Bronx. I stretch myself out a little bit, I’m dressed and ready to train, on a day’s guest pass. The guy at the front counter tried to shill me a longer pass, but didn’t seem to understand that this was the first time I had been in the Bronx in a little over a year, and I probably wouldn’t be back any time soon. As I’m growing restless and I’m actually starting to cool down from my warm up, as the warm up is still going, I’m greeted by the ever familiar thick Spanish accent that could only belong to one man.[/color] What’s up, man?The Bronx Bomber to most, Tony to me. Well, he’s probably Tony to more people than he’s the Bronx Bomber to, to be honest. Who truly remembers The Bronx Bomber? He’s here in the flesh though. A good friend of mine, he invited me to train with him today here in his friend’s gym in the Bronx, a strict training regime to get me into peak physical conditioning. Since Tony left the WFWF, he’s been working full time here at Powerhouse as a boxing coach for many MMA fighters, as well as a conditioning coach and dietician, so if anyone would know a good workout, it’d be him. He grabs the bench I was sitting on and pulls it away from the wall, to the center of the room.[/b] Jump over that.What?Jump over the bench. Do it ten times, back and forth. I want to get your vertical leap up, and to see how high you can actually jump. When you’re in that barbed wire, you may need to jump to save your life.I don’t need further explanation. I tie my shoes tighter than they were so that I don’t injure myself and I jump over the bench. First way, over fine. And back over. I bend my knees and jump over again. I feel like the second jump I actually got a higher jump than the first two jumps. And I hop back. Back and forth a third time, and I can already feel the burn in my legs, most specifically my knees, as the tension of landing over this three or four foot drop seems to be taking it’s toll on my old bones already. Back and forth a fourth time, then a fifth. I feel like it’s taking me longer to prepare myself for each jump, between jumps. I’m catching my breath from the fifth jump, when I feel something hit me from behind. I go crashing to the ground, luckily crashing far enough out that I land primarily on the padded mats. Tony has just tackled me.
What the hell, man?
He’s got me in a guard position and is raining down punches. Not pulled, “oh, we’re sparring, you’ve got to block this” punches, either, full fledged, bare knuckle, “either block this, or I’m going to break your nose” punches.You’ve got to be prepared, you’ve got to be prepared for anything, at all times. What if I was Michael Kyzer, what if I was Drakz, what if I was David Brennan, here to take you out before the title match? What if inside of bare knuckles, I had brass knuckles, or a knife? Your days of a title match would be finished. You’ve got to have eyes in the back of your head. You’ve got to know your surroundings. And you’ve got to be ready for anything.Oof.
That’s the sound of the air coming out of my lungs. Tony just dropped his elbow right into my ribs, again, not a training style, but a full fledged elbow. I realize he’s potentially lost his mind and I throw him off of me. I scramble back to my feet. He throws a high right hand. I catch his hand, turn, and throw him over my hips with a judo throw. His foot clips the bench on the way over, sending it flipping and crashing across the tile floor with a mighty crash that attracts the attention of the other patrons of the gym. Tony gets back to his feet and comes running at me again. I catch him and hip toss him. High up he goes and right down to the padded black mats. What the hell is he doing?
What the hell are you doing?You wanted a workout to prepare you for a war? The only way to prepare for a war is to get into a war. You want to prepare for a fight? The only way is to get into a fight!He runs at me again. My friend has clearly lost his mind. He’s running straight at me. He goes for a clothesline type strike. I duck under it, go behind, and grab him in a waist lock.
Lighter man, we’ve got to go lighter. I can’t afford to get hurt before the PPV, man.
He tries to kick me in the balls. Are all my friends ass holes and scumbags? I take him to the ground with a single leg take down and float over. I put his head between my thighs, still controlling his waist with my arms, but now in a north south position. He tries to stand up and I drive his head into the ground with my thighs. I’m just now realizing, as my knees collide with the floor, that we’re on the tile rather than the floor. Oh well, serves him right for being out of his mind. I slowly let him up, to make sure I didn’t kill him. His forehead is cut wide open, the crimson mask flowing down his face. He touches at his forehead.
Dude, I am so sorry.. I really didn’t mean to.. It was the heat of the moment and..
And he slaps me just as hard as he can across the face. Clearly we are not playing by the rules of bedroom brawling when I was growing up, brawling with my cousin and at first blood, the fight was over.. He grabs me by the hair, pulling my hair and dragging me along. He throws me against a wall that has a piece of MMA cage attached to it. I stand back up from the cage, just quick enough to see him running straight at me with a shoulder extended. I side step and he hits the cage. He hits the wall with such force that partials from the ceiling shower down onto him. He brushes himself off and runs at me again. The blood is flowing down his face and spattering onto his shirt, he looks like a god damn lunatic, which is fitting with the way he’s acting. I stand my ground waiting for him, then drop him to the mat with a drop toe hold. I’m controlling the head, because if you control the head, the body will follow, but he’s bleeding so heavily that the blood is providing a lubricant, and he’s nearly impossible to hold on to. He’s back to his feet. And he’s back to his feet before I am. He kicks me in the ribs just as hard as he can. He takes another Charlie Brown like football kick at my ribs. This time, I single leg trip him, hooking him in an ankle lock before he can do anything.
Say mercy, tap out. Tap or snap mother f*cker. You turned this into a real fight, so now it is.. And I’ll break your ankle..
He rolls over to his back and kicks me. I’ve still got his ankle grasped and I can see him grimacing in pain, but he refuses to tap out. Patrons of the gym have now gathered around us, forming a crescent of bodies around our full contact fight. He puts his free leg on the ground and is trying to stand up. I kick his leg out from underneath him, then roll him back over. I’m now bending his ankle back the wrong way at one hundred percent strength. He finally relents and admits defeat, tapping out. I don’t hold the hold on my friend any longer than I have to, letting go and standing up.
I want to be a sportsman, so I extend my hand to him. The patrons of the gym give us a standing ovation, which is weird because a few minutes ago, I didn’t even know anyone was watching us. Tony takes my hand, but pulls with all of his weight, trying to pull me to the ground. I’m faster than he is and I force him to his feet. He’s got a sly smile on his blood soaked face.[/b] You ready for your workout now?You’re f*cking crazy, man..~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1/23/12
Backstage, in the locker room area, I’m unwinding from a “hard fought” match with Reckless, another day in the office, honestly. I’m unraveling my tape and such. My knee pads are around my shins. Easier to leave them there until I’m ready to throw everything in the bag than to worry about someone walking off with them. People are thieves. I’ve got my phone in his hand. I dials a couple of numbers, then raise the phone to my ear. It‘s ringing in my ear, but I can hear a ringing elsewhere in the room. That can’t be a coincidence. Someone left their phone in the locker room and is getting a call at the exact same time as I am?
What the hell?
I find the source of the ringing. I hang up, I have to make sure this isn’t a freak circumstance, so I hang up my call.. And the ringing stops. Of course the ringing stops, because the phone I was just calling is sitting right in front of me.
Oh son of a bitch…
It’s right in front of me.. The lockers are all clearly labeled, so everyone’s sh*t is put away in their own little space. There’s DAVID HANDLECATCH’s locker, scribbled name bar in thick sharpie while every other name bar is in fine pen.. Kylie’s.. Dave Demento, Randel Benjamin and David Brennan.. Who made the choice that the white supremacist should be side by side with the giant black man? Cam Nitta.. But the source of the ringing is clearly labeled. The WFWF Heavyweight Champion, Michael Kyzer. Hanging in the locker is a button up white t-shirt.. The bottom of the cubby hole filled with a black leather bag. I don’t give a f*ck. I call the phone back. I hear the ringing, so I unzip the bag. The ringing is louder. I shuffle the contents around. Stupid ghetto homemade gear, pot.. I’ll take this.. F*ck with him a little bit.. And there’s the phone, howling it’s chirp.. I grab the phone and the bag of pot and zip the bag back up. Quick trip to the bathroom for a piss and a flush and I’m making my way out of the locker room not with the phone call I needed to make made, but a bit of a reasoning as to why Percy hasn’t been answering my calls lately.. Now I just need the answers..~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 2/15/12 Snowy Chicago weather. The weather’s been really unpredictable today. When I got back into Chicago, it was lightly snowing. Then there was sleet. Then rain. Then freezing rain. Then a blizzard of snow. Then more rain. Then freezing rain again. Now it’s back to lightly snowing with a mixture of freezing rain. And I choose to go for a walk outside. What is wrong with me?
Well, a lot is wrong with me. That’s why I know the man I’m coming to visit now. He was recommended to me by police to get my psychological problems in order. The over compensation of violence as a way to suppress my anger issues, the issues I have with my father and how he was never there and how I’ve passed that on to Samantha, among other issues. He was my consoler and for a while, we made a lot of progress. But then I took off for Germany. When I returned, he was near the end of his career, because he was near the end of his life.
I visit my friend Dr. Baldwin now in his final resting place. He’s got a fairly elaborate tombstone that lists all of his medical degrees, his children’s names, his wife’s name and details about their marriage, and some of his noteworthy achievements in the field of psychology and medicine. It makes me think, when I die, what will people remember about me? “Phillip Schneider, former pro wrestler. Won some titles and wasted many years of his life doing this”. Death makes you reflect on your own life.
Hey Baldwin, pretty crumby weather out here. I guess it doesn’t really matter to you.. I’m sorry I haven’t come and seen you recently, I’ve just been busy. But now, I’m trying to get the support of everyone involved in my life over the past few years, so I figured I’d at least touch base with you here, make sure your spirit isn’t pissed off at me or something for not coming and seeing you. Percy and I came to your funeral, but we didn’t stay very long because we didn’t know anyone and we didn’t really want to make a scene. I think I needed to see you still, myself, even though I told you I didn’t. I know my problems aren’t in check. Specifically the love for violence. I’m going to have to tackle that issue head on though, no rope barbed wire at the Pay Per View.
Sometimes I feel like I am my own father, not because I beat my daughters, but just the way I talk to people sometimes. I talk down to people without even realizing it and I judge people based on their exterior a lot of times. I’m an ass to people for no reason at all. Like, I’ve been at a grocery store, and a lady says “hi” to me at the deli counter, and I rip her head off because I’m dealing with a lot of stress from work. That’s not right. To pass my bad day off to this innocent woman who didn’t know me from Joe Schmo.
Dr. Baldwin, I’m realizing you were right. That I need to still have professional advice in my life. And since I can’t really come to your offices any more, when I get back to town from the Pay Per View, I’m going to look into finding a new counselor. I’m not replacing you by any means and I’m uncomfortable with finding a new counselor, but I’m realizing I need it. If only for the times like right now, when I’ve got no one else to talk to. I went to California and I talked to Pierce Deville. He was no help. I went to Canada and talked to EBR. He was too concerned with himself to really help me. The Bronx, New York, talk to my old friend Tony.. He wanted to kick my ass, because he’s insane..
Even my “family” is of no help. Samantha doesn’t want to be around me because she feels abandoned by me the same way I was abandoned by my dad. I left and never said a word, and was gone for several years. But I came back. When she gives her side of the story, I can see her resentment towards me. And Ashley.. I really just want things to go back to how they were with Ashley.. I still love her. She’s still the woman I fell in love with in high school. I’m realizing it’s not her that changed and that caused us to split, it’s me. I’m hoping through time, I can patch that relationship up so we can at least be civil over Samantha. I tried to talk to her today and just get back together, and it just wasn’t happening.
So I realize to the people around, if any are watching, and with TMZ in this country, people are always watching, that I probably look crazy.. Standing in a graveyard having a conversation by myself with a gravestone. I just needed to come say goodbye to you, Tom. I consider you a good friend of mine and I broke off our relationship without a word to you when I went to Germany, then I didn’t say goodbye to you when I had the chance at your funeral. So this is my way of making peace with you. Thank you for the services that you provided me over the years and thank you for being there for me, just an ear to listen to my problems..
I drop the little cheap plastic flowers that I brought with me at the base of the gravestone, then make my way out of the graveyard, splashing in the slushie ice water with each step as I make my way back to my car.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When I talk about being the Prophet of Ash, people look at me like I’m crazy. They tell me I’m crazy. They think it’s just a coy cute nickname, something that’ll look good on t-shirts like “Your Stoned Messiah” or “The King of Demons” or whatever. It’s not. This is something real. I don’t think I am the master of all Z’s, I don’t pretend to be a video game aficionado, and I don’t think that I am a ninja. I know what I am. I’m cursed.
You know how you get cursed? You mess with bad medicine. You deal in bad medicine. You mess with the wrong people, who know the wrong stuff, and you end up with this hex on you. My hex.. It’s not that bad I don’t think. Not for me, at least.
But you look me in the eyes and tell me there’s not something up with me. You look at the record I’ve kept since I returned to the ring. Every single one of them has fallen to an affliction of some sort. Every one of them. Twenty one matches involving eighteen different people.. And eighteen different people have been negatively effected to varying degrees of misery following their altercations with me. It used to be, when there were less than a dozen.. That I thought it was something I was doing. I thought “hey, I must be dangerous”. I am dangerous, but it’s not something I have control over.
But the more as time goes and the more the bodies pile up, the more I realize this is something I have no control over. A majority of these guys have left the sport entirely. I don’t have to name names. You know who they are. Some, you may not have known who they were if they weren’t effected by this curse. Some, may have went down in the books as all time greats in WFWF, had their careers not been abruptly ended thanks to this curse. Like Hutton Brown. The only person to actually “beat” me, if you consider pulling a championship belt down from above the ring a victory. It took him two tries to do it. His arm was permanently mangled prior.. And his neck after. You know those types of injuries, where you think you’re ok, think you’re just a little rattled, and need to walk it off.. Then when you see a doctor, and they tell you exactly what’s wrong, you realize what you’ve done? That’s Hutton Brown.
Then there’s the Streak Destroyer. I could have mentioned this when talking about absurd nicknames, but I’m not mean like that. I want the best for Ace Bennett. Because I can see how miserable he is. I can see that he’s a broken man. I can see that this promising youngster spitfire of the WFWF, the man that I HEARD was the heir to the throne.. “He’s going to be a big deal, he’s the next in line for the title..”. Quote verbatim. And now.. Now he’s a floundering mid card act with no momentum at all. He tangled with me and he brought the plague to the WFWF. He tangled with me a second time and he’s more miserable than he was before.
But his misery brings happiness to someone else.. His misery brings joy to Michael Kyzer. Because you see.. The curse knew Ace was strong. The curse knew it needed something dark to take him out. That’s why Michael Kyzer returned. It’s not because he was itching to return. It’s not because he needed the money. It’s not because the WFWF needed his star power. The curse summoned him. He may not even know it. But the curse brought him here. The curse brought him to destroy Ace Bennett,
The curse seen what Ace wanted. Ace wanted the WFWF World Heavyweight title. Ace was projected to win the title. Because EBR.. He had already tangled with the curse. He teamed with the curse. He aligned himself with the curse and it was his sweet destruction. So Superbrawl was EBR’s exit and had Ace not tangled himself with the curse, he would’ve been the one to beat EBR. He would’ve been the one who came out at the end of the show and helped King Kraig screw EBR. Wouldn’t have been Trace Demon. Trace tangled with the curse, it took away his push this time last year, then the second time.. He was doomed the same time as EBR. He was doomed in that tag match. It took his championship opportunity..
And all of this.. All of this bad voodoo, it’s what brought Kyzer here. It’s what brought this dark force here to take the WFWF by storm. It all revolves around this. Ace went against the curse, so he was punished. Trace went against the curse, so he was punished. They were punished by Kyzer.. But Kyzer wasn’t smart enough to leave well enough alone. Kyzer went and ran his mouth and said he could take out anyone and he ended up with me.. And rather than just having a nice clean wrestling match. Rather than just going out, having a match, losing the championship as his punishment for trying to hurt the cursed prophet, he went out and attacked like a criminal. He sent his henchmen out and had them do their dirty work. He “stole” Kylie, the already cursed mistress. And Drakz and Brennan ended up against each other because of it.
You think this is all random, everything that’s happened over the last fifteen months.. It all makes too much sense to be random. And now.. Now it’s coming to a head. Now it’s coming to a peak and we’re going down to die. This no rope barbed wire.. It’s going to absorb us both, Michael. But it’s just going to destroy you.
I’m a carrier of the black death. I’m not entirely immune to it, as my recent history would show, but I’m not going to be destroyed by it. Unlike the broken, the beaten and the damned, I’m not going to be killed by it because if it killed me, it’d kill itself. It has to keep me running because I’m the carrier. You see what I’m saying? The curse is self aware. It knows what it is. It wants to spread itself. It has a mentality to it of destruction. It gets off on the destruction. And it knows it can’t kill me. It can put me out of my misery and dammit, at this point it’d be a relief just to have this burden off my shoulders with an ultimate demise, but that’s not in the cards. The cards say I have to carry this plague. I have to infect those around me with the plague and I have to take what they hold dear. I must ruin the people who oppose me.
Michael.. You brought this on yourself. I have no remorse for you. My only words of wisdom for you would be to go to whatever higher deity you look up to. Go in, ask for forgiveness for all your sins and ask for mercy to be had on your soul. You’re going to need a higher power on your side, Michael. Because you’ve started a fight with a power that I don’t think anyone really knows the true potential of.
And I’m not talking about myself..[/color] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Feb 28, 2012 12:04:41 GMT -5
2/15/12Sometimes you don’t know who your true friends are until it’s too late. You’ve got to have it thrown in your face sometimes. Through thick and thin, your family will always be there, right? My family consists of my absentee father, my mother who hasn’t talked to me since I got her involved in a circle of crime, her father who just wants the best for me, and my own kids. And I guess their mother’s. Hailee’s mother falls into the absentee category of my own father, as she’s still in Germany and hasn’t made a peep about Hailee since I left. The benefits of Hailee having duel citizenship, I guess, is that she can come and go as she pleases when she gets older.
Samantha on the other hand.. I’m still involved with Samantha’s mother fairly heavily. I don’t really have a choice. If I want to see my eldest daughter at all, I’ve got to deal with the wench who spawned her. This evil woman who says she no longer loves me and wants nothing to do with me, but holds her hand out every month to collect a check, despite the fact she does nothing for Samantha in the long term. The house she provides? I provided it. I paid for it, straight cash, in 2007. I pay for all of Samantha’s schooling needs and I pay for all of her clothes. If Samantha needs spending money, I pay that too. She wants for nothing. But Ashley still gets her monthly check, because that’s what the courts say and heaven’s forbid I go against a court order..
As I’m driving down the road towards the house that I built, my phone starts to ring. I press the button on the dashboard to answer it.
Hello?Phillip Schneider?Maybe, who’s asking?This is Pamela, I represent the Howard Stern Show. We were received an influx of questions from our listeners, requesting a return appearance to the show from you this week. You have another Pay Per View wrestling event coming up, right?Correct, but I really don’t have time for media appearances, at this point. The show is Sunday, and right now, I’m back in Chicago, doing the last minute preparations before leaving for the event. If you would have caught me just a few days ago, I was in your neck of the woods in The Bronx, doing some training.Chicago is fine. We’re doing programming for the Howard Stern Sirius network and we can interview you in our Chicago offices if that would work better for you. Our listeners are very interested to hear what you have to say about your pending championship match, perhaps even moreso than they were about your previous appearance. We’ve got literally hundreds of emails over the past two days requesting a second appearance on the show from you.Like I said, I really don’t have time to do a personalized radio show at the moment. I’ve just got back into Chicago and I’m on my way to see my daughter, then I’ve got a few other errands I need to do, then I’ve got a plane to catch, to head to the Pay Per View. There’ll be a full press conference there. If you guys are interested, I can get you a personalized press pass.We’d really like to have you on for a one on one interview and we’re prepared to compensate you adequately for your time..How about this, how about instead of doing an appearance before the Pay Per View, instead of telling people “come see me on Pay Per View, come see me win the title”.. How about I promise you guys the first interview after the Pay Per View? I can promise you, after the Pay Per View, I’ll have so much more to talk about than before hand.. And I’ll be bringing some extra hardware to the studio for Howard to check out.. A nice new gold belt..I suppose this will work.. What date works the best for you?I’m actually in the car at the moment, can I call you back when I get home, and can check out my address book?Absolutely. Our number here is xxx-xxx-6738, my extension is 1574, just ask for Pamela.Thank you Pamela.Thank you.I end the call, making note of the number on a sketch pad I keep in the car. Pulling onto the road that my old house is on.. For many years, pulling onto this road meant I could basically go into cruise control mode, because I was nearly home. It was time to go kick my shoes off, sit down in my chair, and just relax. My chair is still there. It’s in the garage. But I can’t go kick my shoes off in the $123,000 house I built. No, I can’t even live there.
This is my daughter’s house. As far as I’m concerned, that’s the only reason I paid off the mortgage and didn’t just let the bank take this house back. As far as I’m concerned, Samantha is the only reason I didn’t burn this house to the ground, like some people would do to their ex wife. No, this is Samantha’s home and as long as it is Samantha’s home, for the next few years, this house still has relevance to me. Maybe after Samantha moves out I can hire old pyromaniac Kyzer to burn it to the ground for the insurance money..
I park my car in the driveway. I don’t even get to park my car in the garage, not because the garage is filled with another car, but because it is filled with my stuff. Stuff I bought for the house. I have my own home, a somewhat nice apartment, but these things aren’t there. Why? Because Ashley won them in the divorce. My shadow box with the old WFWF Tag Team title belts? That belongs to Ashley, Ashley earned that. My first pair of wrestling boots that I had put in a nice custom glass case? Those are Ashley’s too. All the wrestling magazines that I was on the cover of, that I bought, got framed, and once lined the hallways of this house? Those are Ashley’s too, according to a court of law. And she cares so much about this stuff that she fought for that it’s all sitting in the garage boxed up, along with my aforementioned chair and other stuff that is better suited thrown away, like Samantha’s baby toys.
Yeah, even though I have a baby from another relationship, I couldn’t give her Samantha’s old crib which has sat dormant for years. I couldn’t give her the bags and bags of clothes that sit in the garage.. All this stuff I bought new when I didn’t have two pennies to rub together.. It all sits boxed up and in garbage bags, and for Hailee, I had to go out and buy every bit of it new again, because this is ASHLEY’S STUFF, and I’m not entitled to any of it.
It’s frankly bullsh*t and every time I get to thinking about it, it pisses me off. But this is my weekend with Samantha, and I’m not going to let it start off with me in a pissy mood because Ashley is a bitch. I approach the door. I can hear the wicked witch of the west screaming inside of the house. I don’t even bother to knock on the door. I paid for this door, I’m going to open it. And I’m glad I do.
Samantha sits alone on the steps, her bags already packed and ready to go. Usually, Ashley meets me at the door bitching about something or another and usually, Samantha is no where near ready to go, due to this bitching.
Where’s your mom?Why?Need to talk to her about something.Haven’t seen her in a while.Define “a while”Like two days. We got into it a few days ago, because she found porn on my laptop, and she took off. Haven’t seen or heard from her since.So you’ve been here alone?Yeah. I ordered a pizza two nights ago. Chinese last night. Glad you’re here now. I’m out of money and there’s no food here. And I don’t have a credit card to rely on any more..Did she say where she was going?Nope. Just screamed a whole bunch. Said I was a disrespectful something or another, and that she didn’t need to live in the house that you bought. I kind of threw that in her face, that she hasn’t worked a day in her life..Jesus Christ Samantha.. That’s my job. I tell her how much of a f*ck up she is. You’re her daughter. You listen to what she says even if it’s nonsense.I know, I was just so sick of her bullshit.Oh, you’re cursing now?Sorry.And she found porn on your laptop?I let Scarlett borrow it for a day, because her’s is all messed up and she needed to finish a Powerpoint presentation for social studies. Apparently she downloaded some porn videos too. Mom was trying to do that Farmtown crap on it and found the file. She didn’t even ask me about it, she just started screaming at me and calling me a whore.And because you’re a Schneider, you screamed back at her..Yeah..And because she’s Ashley and she thinks she’s hard, she tried to threaten with violence..
Samantha nods. It‘s like I‘ve experienced this before. Samantha is too much like me in all the wrong ways.
And because you‘re not a little kid any more, you didn‘t back down to her.. And you showed her that she‘s not your superior for size any more.. And she got pissed off and left.. Jesus Christ, Sam. If you were having problems with her, why didn‘t you just call me? I would‘ve came and picked you up.I did. A bunch of times. Your phone just kept going to voicemail. And I called Percy’s too. His has been shut off for days.Yeah, I have Percy’s phone..Why?Long story. Sam, is that everything you need for the weekend, and for a while?Not for a while, no. I’ve only got a couple of outfits.Go pack another bag. Get whatever you need. We’re going to spend some time together, then you’re going to Grandma’s for the weekend.Oh come on..I’ve got to go to Japan, for work, and you don’t have a passport. And I’m not spending money on a last minute plane ticket for you to go to Japan, anyways. You’ll be fine. I spent seventeen years living with her, you can survive three days. When I get back home, I’ll take you to New York with me.Why New York?I’ve got an appearance on Howard Stern scheduled.So if I’m leaving here for a while, can I take my bed? No offense, but the bed at your place is pretty crappy.I can’t put it in my car. My car’s too small. We’ll have to come back for that stuff. You’ve got a key to the front door, right?Yeah.When I get back, we’ll come pack up all your crap. Just take the bag you’ve got for now. If you need anything else, Grandma will bring you over here.
Samantha starts down the stairs, dragging her bag behind me. She is really a spitting image of me, right down to the way she walks. I never realized until now how much my little girl has grown up, the fact that she‘s taken care of herself for the past two days, and the house still looks better than the mess Kyzer lives in.[/b] Can we go get some food? I haven’t eaten all day today.Yeah, we’ll stop at McDonalds or something. You still get the Happy Meal?
She laughs. It’s good to hear her laugh. I haven’t heard her laugh in a long time.I’m not a little girl any more, Dad.You’re always going to be my little girl.
I shut off the lights and lock the door behind me. So this house that I spent every dime I had on for many years.. It’s going to sit dormant. Because Ashley decided she wanted to go live somewhere else.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 3/2/12
The tables are lined up somewhat close to the wall, a banner stretching from the ceiling to the floor with WFWF logos all over in as a backdrop. On the tables are a nice table cloth that stretches over every table, then microphones every six feet or so, at a rate of about one per table. In the middle of the tables is a podium with several microphones. Chairs fill the somewhat small conference building, five lines of six, with space in the back not filled with chairs. The scene is set for the press conference for WFWF It’s Super Effective.
I had the opportunity to check out the room a bit earlier than everyone else, because apart from Xavier Pierce and the crew that set all of this stuff up, I am the only one here. Xavier greeted me formally when I arrived, then casually. Then he brought me a button up shirt and a suit jacket. Apparently a hoody isn’t the most professional attire for a press conference. Whatever. I was never the corporate suit type, but this guy seems nice enough, so I put on the shirt and jacket. They go nicely with my ripped jeans. His reasoning to no nice pants is that the table cloth and the podium will cover my pants anyways. Glad the cost cutting measures of the WFWF haven’t stopped with the new management. The first of the press are arriving, so I disappear to the changing area of the building. I throw in my ear buds and just kind of relax for a few minutes.
Five songs later, so I’m guessing somewhere between fifteen minutes and a half hour, because there was two Opeth songs in there which kind of throw off the predictable ratio of lengths of songs, Xavier Pierce makes his way into the room and makes a motion for me. I take off my ear buds and stuff them into the jacket pocket along with my iPod. I follow Xavier down the hallway and back into the main room of the convention hall. As we enter the room, flash bulbs pop left and right. You’d think in 2012, they’d have invented a way to do camera flashes that isn’t completely obnoxious and blinding. There’s now name bars on the table. Xavier has one for himself right next to the podium, to the left. To the right, Matthew Werner is seated with a fancy little name plate that says “Matthew Werner”. Glad that douche bag Matt Steel isn’t here. My name plate is beside Werner’s, and there’s an empty seat next to Xavier on the other side of the podium, a Michael Kyzer nameplate in front of it. Beside Kyzer is a Drakz name plate. Both Drakz and Kyzer’s seats are empty. Beside me, the opposite of Drakz, is Trace Demon. Of course they’d sit me next to Trace Demon. I do not like Michael Kyzer at all. I intend to hurt Michael Kyzer.. But Trace Demon.. Jesus Christ this guy. I can see a picture of Michael Kyzer and not go into a rage. I can hear the name “Michael Kyzer” and not have my blood pressure rise, at least I could. But this Demon dork.. I’m going to end up murdering him one day. Not like, wrestling stuff. I am going to kill him. I’ll probably actually have someone else kill him, so I can get off scott free. I refer you to the case of Tha CBT and Pierce Deville. It’s happened before.. It’s going to happen again.. Rounding out the end caps are David Brennan’s name plate, also absent from an ass in the seat, and Tabitha Owens. I find it strange that the Kyzer Trio is not here yet. I assume they are going to make their entrances after I’m seated. The champion always comes out second..
I walk up the stage, the flash bulbs popping left and right. That really is obnoxious, do you really all need a picture of me walking to the table? I whisper to Xavier.
So much for your thought process on the jeans there, boss.
And I’m right, even if he won’t acknowledge it. These pictures of me all dressed up from the waist up will be all over the internet by late afternoon. I’d guess that the printed media isn’t actually here covering this, but what do I know. I spot a familiar face in the second row, Bryan Alverez of Figure 4 Weekly and Wrestling Observer. Sup Chico? I take my seat. They’re gracious enough to have me here that they’ve provided me with bottled water, with the labels removed. The water companies aren’t sponsoring us, so we aren’t giving them press, I guess. Xavier greets the media at the podiumEsteemed members of the press, I am the Chief Operating Officer of the WFWF, Xavier Pierce. Thank you for joining us this afternoon for the press conference for our next Pay Per View extravaganza, It’s Super Effective, which airs live on Pay Per View and is sold out. At the conclusion of this press conference, we will have time for a Q&A segment with our attending panel.Nice and formal. Way to go, boss.[/b] I say attending panel, because as you can see by the three empty seats to my immediate left, the WFWF Heavyweight Champion of the World, Michael Kyzer, International title contender Drakz, and David Brennan have chosen not to attend this press conference. WFWF management went through the best of their abilities to get these three gentlemen here today and we’d like to formally apologize to the members of the media that they chose to be unprofessional and not attend this press event.So Kyzer, Drakz, and Brennan blew it off? Nice..
There’s a murmur among the crowd, mostly laughter, and there’s many more flash bulbs. I really didn’t mean to say that out loud, but I did, and I’m not going to apologize for it because I don’t feel sorry. Kyzer is a self absorbed prick and the people he surrounds himself with feed into his megalomania.Yes, but we aren’t going to let them rain on our event here and we aren’t going to let them drag the event down. Rest assured, all three gentlemen will be in attendance and in competition on the Pay Per View this Sunday night.He shuffles some papers around on the podium a little bit and then pulls a pair of eye glasses out of his front shirt pocket. He puts them on, then reads one of the papers he’s just shuffled to the top.The WFWF It’s Super Effective will emanate live on February twenty fifth two thousand and twelve from the Tokyo Dome in Tokyo, Japan. Estimated ticket revenue is one million, three hundred and twenty eight thousand, four hundred and one dollars, with thirty eight thousand and seventy four seats sold. Japan has been a strong market for the WFWF for several years and we are delighted to be returning to the land of the rising sun. The main event will be the man to my right, Phillip Schneider, challenging for the WFWF World Heavyweight championship against champion Michael Kyzer in a no rope barbed wire death match. This will be only the second no rope barbed wire match in the storied history of the WFWF, the first happening in 2007 at our “Forever Unscarred” Pay Per View, where Mr. Schneider challenged then champion, Reverend Shadow, for the same championship he’s challenging Michael Kyzer for.He’s almost stoic and somber as he reads through his notes with no enthusiasm at all. What a charismatic new COO we have. He switches to a second paper in his stack.[/color] The semi main event will be the finals of the tournament to crown a new WFWF International champion after champion Shawn Malakai vacated the championship immediately upon winning it at our last Pay Per View event, Superbrawl. That contest will be between Drakz and Trace Demon. Vacant tag team championships will be decided as Randel Benjamin and Dave Demanto do battle with Thunder and Ripp Jackson. There will be many under card matches on this three hour Pay Per View event featuring most of the active WFWF roster.He looks at me and kind of nods, then motions to the podium. I guess it’s my time to step up to the podium. I stand up from my chair and casually walk to the podium, Xavier taking his seat as I do. I adjust the microphone before I speak.
When your Heavyweight champion can’t even attend the press conference for his first Pay Per View defense, what kind of a champion is he? And what kind of a representative for the company as a whole is he? Mr. Pierce, I realize your regime is fairly fresh still, so I’ll give you a quick refresher course of how MY championship reign went. I was champion of the WFWF for seven months. In those seven months, I turned away no challengers, from the top of the card, the Wayne McGurks of the world, to the bottom of the card, the Jake Slashes of the world. If I was free and there was a show, I accepted a challenge. And being a fighting champion, the championship belt was ALWAYS on the line. Because I have a very simple concept. If you are the Heavyweight champion of the World, and you get beat, then you shouldn’t be the Heavyweight champion of the World any more. There should be none of this non-title match nonsense. I seen it a couple of weeks ago with Thunder and Kyzer. Why was that match non-title? Were you afraid to ruin your big PPV set up, because you thought the former champion Thunder would beat Kyzer, then you’d have no main event? Because let me tell you, Xavier, had that happened, and if Thunder was carrying that ten pounds of gold around right now, I would gladly be tearing him to shreds in no rope barbed wire instead of Kyzer. Thunder’s the man who beat me for the championship and to say we have history would be one of the gravest underestimates you could make.
I take a breath, get a sip of my water, and continue my verbal tirade.
But the fact is, Michael Kyzer wouldn’t defend his championship, and he beat Thunder anyways so in the long term, it‘s a moot point. But that’s something you’re not going to have to worry about WHEN I win the championship. This complete cowardice. This running around like a pack of hyenas, jumping people when they are down, and refusing to accept credible challenges head on unless absolutely forced into it. That’s the way Michael Kyzer operates. I will defend the championship in every match I take, because I don’t fear defeat. I’ve been back with the company since December 2010 and I’ve yet to be pinned, I’ve yet to be submitted, I’ve yet to be disqualified, and I’ve yet to be counted out.. I haven’t been knocked out and I haven’t went to a time limit draw..
A particularly smart ass reporter in the front row has to get his two cents in as soon as I pause to take a breathBut you did taste defeat, at the hands of Hutton Brown.. Hutton Brown pulled a championship belt down from above the ring. And when you look at the panel here today, where is Hutton Brown? Is Hutton Brown on this panel? He’s not. You know why, because he can’t wrestle any more. He tried to string himself along after our match, he had a match with that sizzling insignificant cockroach Trace Demon and he had a match with the absentee voters of the WFWF, Kyzer and Drakz, but it was all Hutton lying. It was Hutton lying to himself and lying to the doctors. Hutton knew he couldn’t compete any more. He knew his arm would never be the same. He knew it before the ladder match. Kylie seen him in the locker room and he couldn’t even close his fingers into a fist. How do you expect to compete at a high level when you can’t even ball your hand into a fist? And the damage I did in the ladder match.. It sure didn’t help the arm.. And it added that fun new neck problem. So since you’re so inside the head of Hutton Brown, since you’re those voices he screams angrily at like a kid with down syndrome, let me send him a message through you. Tell Hutton that if he can superglue his arm back together, if he can drag his little crippled ass out of his wheel chair, and he can get to the building, he’ll be my first defense of the Heavyweight title. This time around, we’re not going to be pulling a belt down from the ceiling. We’re not going to be playing with kid gloves. Pin fall or submission, and Hutton, if you do return, and you do come barking up my tree, it’ll be the definitive last match of your career. Test me, I end people. Ask Reckless.
Xavier leans forward into his microphone.Since we’ve already covered the business portion of this press conference and we’ve already stumbled into the Q&A portion of this event, we may as well continue, with the number one contender already at the podium. Let’s try to do this in an orderly manner. Raise your hand when there isn’t a question being asked, and our MC for the afternoon, our ring announcer Keri Thames, will bring the microphone to you to ask your question. There’ll be no more of this blurting out questions stuff.A man in the second row is quick to raise his hand. Keri Thames makes her way over to him. He takes the microphone out of her hand and takes charge with his speech.For Phillip Schneider, this match is your specialty match one could say. How did you get Michael Kyzer to sign such a contract? I don’t think he actually read the contract. Next question..
A young looking woman in the third row, near the far left side of the room raises her hand and Keri Thames takes her the microphone[/b] Your former valet and student, Kylie Olsen, is now aligned with Michael Kyzer. Are you afraid that she’ll share your secrets of the game with the enemy? Is there any psychological disadvantage to having someone you were close with now as an enemy? For her to give away my secrets, she’d have to know my secrets. For her to share my strategies, she’d have to know them. Yes, I trained Kylie to wrestle, but the fact is she was barely trained. She was taught the basics and very little more. When she had her debut at Superbrawl, I expected her to lose and lose quite badly. I wanted to see her confidence get knocked down several notches. Unfortunately, David Handlecatch was not a credible opponent at all, and wasn’t worth his weight in sand, so the barely trained Kylie disposed of him fairly easily in about five minutes. So she’s “undefeated” and she’s got some confidence behind her, so she believes she’s done with training and an active wrestler. She’s yet to have an opponent who’s actually credible and will actually go out there and hurt her. Maybe I’ll have to give her the lesson I wanted her to learn at Superbrawl personally and slap the piss out of her on TV. Hopefully someone will. Maybe that **** Trace Demon will do it. Fighting a hundred and ten pound woman may be more to his skill level.
Bryan Alverez stands up. He clearly can‘t listen to directions, to just raise his hand, but Keri Thames approaches him anyways with the microphone. Alverez rambles off his question at rapid fire speed[/b] You haven’t held a championship since you returned to the WFWF, Mr. Schneider, and the one title that you set your sights on, the National title, you failed to achieve. What makes you so confident that you can beat the current best in the company for the biggest championship in the company when you couldn’t succeed to win the lowest title in the company? One reason. Michael Kyzer is not Hutton Brown. I underestimated Hutton. I underestimated his fighting spirit and I underestimated his will to succeed. Most importantly, I underestimated his agility and ability to climb a ladder. He could climb a ladder over and over and at a fast speed and in that match, that was the most important. I basically killed Hutton Brown. I ended his career. But he still came back and fought more and fought until the match was over. He won the battle, but I won the war. If the only person to hold a victory over me in the last fourteen months got their career ended in route, and sop many others who have stepped up to challenge me have suffered similar fates, Calvin Lee, Reckless, Johnny Knight, Lightening, Johnny Albright, and many more that I am forgetting at the moment.. They all stepped up and thought they were going to do something to me and they all ended up with career ending injuries or with such shame that they couldn’t show their faces in this company any more. The last no rope barbed wire match, the only previous one, between myself and Reverend Shadow.. I came out on top.. Reverend Shadow disappeared from the federation for over a year and when he returned, he didn’t even have the guts to use the same name any more. He waited until I was long gone from the federation to even show his face again and when he did, he changed his name. Does that tell you anything about what I can do, and what I will do? When that championship is on the line, and there are no restrictions, I won’t hold myself back. If I ended careers in basic matches with nothing on the line, what will I do to the man who attacked me in a gang setting, tied me to the ropes with barbed wire, cut me, and beat me down, then stole my girlfriend to add salt to the wounds? The things I’ve got in store for Michael Kyzer will make the most grotesque Faces of Death scenes look like a Barney and Friends syndicate.
All the way in the back, Keri.
I can see the next question, all the way in the back. It’s comforting to know that I am now a big enough superstar that I alone can pack a press conference to standing room only. I can’t really see this guy very well. Keri gets somewhat close, but runs out of cord length and kind of shrugs. She stops in the isle way and waits for the man to approach her. Unlike everyone else who’s come dressed for the occasion, dress shirts, polo shirts, casual suits.. this guy is wearing red basketball shorts, a blue hoody, and a backwards baseball cap. He’s got a scruffy beard and looks like he hasn’t showered in about a week. I get a quick drink of my water while Keri Thames gets him ready, and while he takes his sweet time in walking over to her.
Hi Percy.I’ve been trying to call you for the last month but that filter you’ve got on your phone, to not allow outside numbers, it keeps blocking me. We need to talk, man.Then let’s talk. Let’s clear the air. What needs to be said can be said in front of the media. Let’s start with “where have you been since Superbrawl”? Off beating down a reporter again, and getting me in hot water?I had a relapse, man.I found your phone in Kyzer’s locker. You’re not really telling me anything I don’t know. Percy, I’m not going to babysit you and I’m not going to preach to you, but if you’re going to f*ck up and try to sneak around, I’m going to catch you. I have a teenage daughter. That makes me have this hyper sensitivity to my surrounding. I know what the people around me are thinking and planning before they do it. So if you want to go off on a bender and get all f*cked up, that’s your business. You’re an adult. But you’re not going to do it around me or my kids.I went to rehab. I’m clean. I’ve got my demons back in the closet. The pain from my broken hand, and getting the thrill from the pain pills, it just kind of triggered everything man. I hadn’t taken any pills or anything since my last relapse, and I thought I could handle it. But an alcoholic can’t take just one drink, and I can’t take just one pill. I know this. I know I’ve got a problem. I know I’ve got a serious problem that I need help with. I hope you can forgive me, for the trouble I’ve caused..So it‘s appropriate to just disappear for a month? And especially now? With this going on in my career? You really think I want to worry if my best friend is dead in a ditch somewhere, while preparing for the World Heavyweight title?….I’m your best friend?Of course you are. I’ve made many other friends in this business over the years, but if I learned anything, it’s that when the sh*t comes down, you’re the only one who’ll actually be there for me. Pierce is self centered and imprisoned. EBR is conceited and untrustworthy.. Dr. Baldwin is dead. But even with your problems, you’re the most reliable friend I have. You’ve just got to get this sh*t cleaned up, for your own health.I am clean man. I went to a dark place and I seen what will happen to me if I stay there. I seen some things I don’t want to see again, I seen my fate. I got out of there as fast as I could.Sit down.. Let me finish this press conference.. We’ll talk more later..
Xavier Pierce stands up and makes a motion for me to get away from the microphone. I take about two steps back, Xavier stepping up to the microphone.I think the members of the press will agree that this is as good of a time as ever to end this.. There was a photo op planned, with the challenger, the champion, and the belt, but since the champion skipped this presser, and he has possession of the physical championship belt, there will be no photo op. Members of the press, I thank you for your time and interest in our product. There’s a press kit by the door for this event and our upcoming events, including photos of Mr. Kyzer and Mr. Schneider that you can use in your publications. Thank you.There’s a murmur among the crowd as everyone begins to clear out. Slowly they make their way to the door, collecting their red packets on the way out. The room clears out, leaving only me and Xavier at the podium and Percy in the audience.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Michael Kyzer is without a shadow of a doubt the most over rated wrestler who has ever passed through the WFWF. Not the esteemed Johnny Michaels, who played the political game to get on top, then used the same political game to remain on top by never defending his championship, and cut down everyone who might threaten his spot.. Not Tha CBT, who made a career out of being a perennial mid carder and somehow was looked at in hindsight through rose colored glasses and considered a star. Not the over rated sack of sh*t known as Zmaster, who got himself over simply because he was big and powerful in a time that no one else could, but when someone craftier, meaner, and stranger, your’s truly, got ahold of him, he tucked his tail and ran for the hills.
The most over rated wrestler isn’t Reverend Shadow, either. Because while Shadow spoke in tongues that no one could understand, and people claimed they could so they would look intelligent or sophisticated, his game was stolen entirely from Kyzer. That game, at least. Kyzer talks in circles without making a point and people feel like he’s said something truly philosophical, because most times, they’ve got no idea what he’s actually said in his drug induced ramblings.
Everyone I’ve ever encountered that I’ve hated for their own unique reasons, literally everyone. The rambling CBT, the mush mouthed nonsense speaking Reverend. The complete coward Thunder and the sniveling bitch Trace Demon. They are all rolled into one with Kyzer. He’s a blender of every hate able attribute of everyone that’s ever passed through the WFWF. Remember that time, back in like 2005, when everyone quit the federation because Alex Sean was a f*cking cock sucker, and had an ego that was completely out of control? Yeah, Kyzer trumps that and makes Alex look humble.
Despite co-existing in the federation for many many years, and passing through the federation at various times apart from that, Kyzer and I have never really come to a crossroads. We had a brief skirmish that I didn’t take seriously in 2007. I was a different man and it was a different time in the federation. But we have never really come to a point where one of us is going down. We’ve never had a final conflict. We’ve never had the war that makes people say “wow, that was one hell of a war, this is what I paid to see”. Because Michael Kyzer is afraid of me.
Michael Kyzer is afraid of the reputation I bring along with me. He sees the list of bodies that I’ve laid waste to since I came back to reclaim my throne and he knows the legacy of violence I’ve laid that gave me that reputation that made people fear me before that. I know it’s in the back of Kyzer’s mind, what I did the last time there was a no rope barbed wire match. What I did to Reverend Shadow.. I know Kyzer’s watched that tape and he’s tried to prepare himself. He’s went through all the song and dance.. He’s watched the sacrifice of Johnny Knight. He’s watched the beating I gave Trace Demon. He’s watched the barefoot thumbtack match and the barbed wire cage match. He thinks he’s got himself all psyched up. “Barbeque skewers? An injection? I can take that! That’s no worse than a heroin needle! That barbed wire is no worse than shooting up.” It’s what he’s got running through his head. He’s not trying to convince those around him that he’s prepared though, he’s trying to convince himself.
You know why Kyzer felt the need to attack me? Know why Kyzer felt the need, with his band of devotees, to try to break my spirit? Why he attacked me, when he’s never come out and attacked anyone else previously, all the way back to Reverend Shadow? Because he knows he’s got to get into MY head the same way I’m in his. Why he picked up the disposed cum dumpster known as Kylie. Yeah, take my dirty spunk rag, I’m done with it anyways. I’ve had my thrills and I’m done associating with that scum f*ck bitch. I prefer to float to the top, not feed off the bottom like a damn leech.
Kyzer’s done all of these things because he knows I’ve got his number. He knows that unlike every other person who he’s come across, the Thunder’s of the federation, who are the upper echelon of the federation simply because there’s no one else.. He knows I’m hazardous. He knows that I will take what he holds dearly and I will spit on it. No, I’m not talking about his championship. To me, the championship is secondary. The championship was why this started, why our roads curved and intersected, but at this point, the final hour, that’s not what it’s about any more. Michael Kyzer has something that he holds much more dearly that I’m going to take from him. He calls himself the Megalomaniac. The word “megalomania” by definition means “a symptom of mental illness marked by delusions of grandeur and wealth”. Michael Kyzer, the megalomaniac, has only one thing of value and that’s his reputation.
The way he’s perceived is everything. The way he’s looked at. What people say when they are lurking in the shadows, that’s what makes Michael Kyzer what Michael Kyzer is. He’s a below average wrestler and an average brawler. There’s better wrestlers and there’s better brawlers, your’s truly falling into the latter category. He’s not the best talker or hype man and he’s not a politician, working his way up the card through nefarious means. He’s a reputation. He’s the reputation of “oh, you don’t want to face Kyzer, Kyzer’s the best”. I know what it’s like to be more reputation than action. To coast on reputation alone. It’s why I’m not the National champion at the moment, because I let my reputation get the best of me and I expected the championship victory solely off that reputation. Because I built a reputation as someone who could beat anyone, I began to believe it myself. Because I built myself this reputation as a dangerous wrestler and a reckless brawler, I began to believe it myself. And because people seen these legendary bloodbaths that I had, they began to believe I was capable of anything too, so I didn’t have to actually do anything.
But the difference is, my reputation comes from a path of violence. When you look at why I have this reputation, you see an ever growing list of wrestlers who are no longer with the WFWF and are out of the sport as a whole. I’ve killed. I was involved with the murder of one of my enemies. That’s not test my gangsta, a fable tale. My tag team championship partner is in prison because we permanently eliminated someone we didn’t like. Whereas, Michael Kyzer.. Michael Kyzer has his reputation for beating up Reverend Shadow and strapping him to a cross. Michael Kyzer has his reputation for doing a back alley deal with a shady businessman and taking out EBR after he had already had a grueling match. That’s how Michael Kyzer operates. He gets by doing the absolute least possible, because average is all Michael Kyzer can pull off.
This smoke and mirrors act, these magic tricks.. They’ve really played the audience into a frenzy over the last half a decade. They’ve got everyone believing that there’s this subhuman who just can’t be beat. But we’re going to go out there. We’re going to stand in the middle of that wood and steel ring, with the ring ropes replaced with barbed wire. You’re going to stare across the ring at me. I’m going to stare right back at you. Those hot arena lights are going to shine down. And Michael, there’s not going to be any poorly lit stage to hide the guy running cables behind the curtain. There’s not going to be any smoke and mirrors. There’s not going to be any trickery or tomfoolery. This is man on man and Michael, your jig is up.
Kyzer.. Heh.. F*ck Kyzer.[/b]
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Feb 28, 2012 12:09:08 GMT -5
Big thanks to The Bronx Bomber, EBR, Braden, and Trace for their allowed participation in this piece. An indifferent nod to Thunder and Pierce Deville, because I never actually asked either of them, since Thunder didn't appear and because Pierce never had permission to use Pierce, so why should I? And cameos from Braden and Trace, that was cool.
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Post by Kyzer on Feb 28, 2012 13:17:30 GMT -5
This is one entertaining piece of work my friend. Bravo.
I really dug the entire thing, it was definitely long as shit.
I can't wait to read the match you put together.
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Deleted
Joined on: Sept 28, 2024 18:16:04 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2012 18:34:55 GMT -5
Despicable. Right now after reading this in my tired state I can't formulate a proper response so I'll get back to you. However I am now one of the few who will probably read this in its entirety so be pleased enough with that sir.
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Deleted
Joined on: Sept 28, 2024 18:16:04 GMT -5
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2012 13:40:45 GMT -5
Ok so now I'm in a normal mental state I can comment.
I really liked the concept for this RP, going to everyone to get help to beat Michael and really not getting any help from anyone. I did find some of the scenes a little unnecessary though, they just kind of padded the whole thing out more than it really needed. I must say the bits of this I felt were relevant were some of your best bits of writing though.
This match will be interesting.
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eljefe
Superstar
Joined on: Oct 2, 2010 17:39:35 GMT -5
Posts: 733
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Post by eljefe on Mar 1, 2012 16:59:28 GMT -5
This match, in anime terms, is Light from Death Note vs Kamina from Gurren Lagann. One is a mind-f**ked son of a bitch who is epic in just about everything. The other is so freakin epic. You know which one is the good guy, but when you look at it, you kinda cheer for both, just to see what might happen.
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Post by Prophet of Ash on Mar 1, 2012 19:36:28 GMT -5
This match, in anime terms, is Light from Death Note vs Kamina from Gurren Lagann. One is a mind-f**ked son of a bitch who is epic in just about everything. The other is so freakin epic. You know which one is the good guy, but when you look at it, you kinda cheer for both, just to see what might happen.
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Raider
Superstar
" . . . "
Joined on: Jan 17, 2012 17:05:37 GMT -5
Posts: 884
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Post by Raider on Mar 1, 2012 20:42:46 GMT -5
* Deep breath * Ok.. my mind kinda feels like mush now and my eyes hurt. I had to take a few breaks to get through it all, but I finally got there. I just wished you had separated this into pieces and not all at once because the continual references to Reverend Shadow and Thunder, for example, just got too repetitive for my liking. There were also points, like Drakz said, that just felt not needed like the sports talk with EBR.. I guess that was to get at his personality and to show how he isn't invested in the WFWF anymore, but I was just ready for it to be over when I was reading it.. there was no story progression there.
But, regardless of all of that, I enjoyed this overall and loved the different ways and means you used to get your message across from going to different people and trying to find advice to the press conference to your interaction with your child to your workout segment, which I thoroughly liked. Also, my favorite part of your character has been the idea of the curse and how you have executed it so well. I personally felt like that is what you should have ended with because it has been one of your strongest points and my favorite part of the RP. After I read that part, the final monologue didn't feel as strong as the previous leaving me a little unsettled.
Anyway... this is going to be really, really difficult to judge and I am glad that I am not in the position to do so. Nice job, man, and I look forward to eventually having a match with you down the line.
P.S. I love Death Note.
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Post by Kyzer on Mar 3, 2012 16:45:45 GMT -5
I have no idea what anyone is talking about here with anime.
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Post by Ace Bennett on Mar 10, 2012 14:51:38 GMT -5
Wow, I can honestly say that I think this match with you and Kyzer, RP quality wise, is better than anything that had happened last year. Both of you put out great stuff, and showed why you deserve to be this high on the card.
This was boss, and despite being so long, which is was really long, kept me focused and entertained. So good work. Nothing to complain about.
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