WF:UK Draft 2012

*Walks out to huge swathes of applause and cheering that last several minutes, only stopping when Mike raises his hand for silence.*

Munchies.

When you hear that word, what do you think? Saviours of Banter? The coolest brand around? Masters of the Good(Y)s and Mexus? The toughest sons of bitches you’ve ever seen?

Clearly the Admins don’t believe any of these valid ideas. The Admins think that we are people to be messed with, people they can screw over and get away with it. They think the Munchies are weak.

They’re wrong.

You see, these Admins have been pushing around everyone on WF for years. Deleting members just because they felt like it. Mercilessly locking all threads that became remotely fun or interesting, culminating in the loss of ‘Banter ‘Till You Drop’ over one year ago. They ban anyone with a modicum of charisma, and insist on this potentially legendary board being dark and depressing. They fulfil their own sick and twisted fantasies at the expense of anyone who could actually make this piece of sh*t board worthwhile.

Sorry, did you think that was a bit strong? I’m just getting started. Are you wondering why, if I hate this board so much, do I even come here? If you are then you have at least one brain cell, and therefore I salute you, because you’re sure as hell smarter than the Admins that think they run this place. The answer to your question is simple – I want to save this board. I want to make it greater than your wildest dreams. I want it to be a land free of oppression, depression and regression. I want it to stride forward into the future lead by great minds and great hearts.

So I decided to do something about it. I assembled some of those hearts and minds into the greatest stable the internet has ever seen. Some have labelled us as the saviours of WF. But I’m not going to do that. This isn’t a Chris Jericho rip off. I’m not going to start quoting Damien Sandow. Because we’re better than that. Not only are we the saviours, redeemers and liberators of WF, we are the greatest thing ever to post on these boards.

Up until now we’ve been battling with the worthy adversaries that are the Good(Y) Guys and Mexus, and between us we’ve had some matches that will go down in WF folklore. But now we have a new challenge from the Admins… a group I can’t honestly call worthy adversaries.

You see, these sorry excuses for human beings hide behind their banning powers, giving out warning bars to all those that threaten them and banning anyone that stands up to them. They never come out into the open, and they sure as hell never come and fight like men. But that’s all going to change when we destroy them tonight.

In truth the Munchies have always felt this way. We knew this day would come. However, it has come sooner than even I could predict. You see, when the new banter was opened we were rightly heralded as kings. Specifically myself and my #1 pick, lieutenant and right hand man Dan88 were certain to be given the honour of the Bantervision Tag Team titles. We had earned this honour through years of hard work and rising popularity, and savoured them. However, the sneaky Admin bastards somehow managed to steal them from us, and now we want what is rightfully ours.

But don’t be mistaken into thinking that this is about the Bantervision Tag Team Titles. This is about so much more than that. It’s about standing up to oppression, fighting for what’s right, and kicking the ass of those who deserve an ass kicking most of all.

So here’s how its going to go down. I’m putting forward 5 Munchies, 5 of the best men this forum has to offer, and we’re going to square up against 5 Admins in the middle of this ring. Our team consists of heroes, men who have rightly come to be known as pillars of the WF community. However, their team consists of freaks that are rightly vilified for their every wrong move that plagues this board.

Booker T is has more posts than any other on these boards. He seems to take this as meaning that he has the right to do as he pleases. However, tonight we will reveal him for the spammer that he truly is, and we will obliterate him without a second thought. Suckasays is famous around these parts for his love of horror, but soon he’ll be stuck in a nightmare as we tear him apart limb by limb. H2RX is quite frankly an irrelevance, and we will defeat him within a matter of seconds. TRW is sitting in the back listening to this very promo right now, contemplating dropping the ‘ban hammer’ on me. Tonight I tell him to bring it on, because deep down we all know that he won’t be able to do jack sh*t to me! And as for JS… lets just say he created this board, and has ever since tried to destroy it. Tonight we destroy him.

Now, onto the Munchies… You all know Ben as someone who is a valuable member of Banter, and now he’s a valuable member of the Munchies In Your Banter team. Gav has been around longer than most, and he has contributed to WF in many different ways over the years, such as in the NWO invasion and countless LOTB threads. This will be one of his greatest achievements. Cult of Pepsi is rumoured to be the long lost brother of King of Pepsi, but tonight he is be my brother, for he will be representing the Munchies. Dan88 managed to convince the Admins that he was somehow on their side, earning the prestigious WF:UK Mod spot. However, we have all known his true colours for some time now, and he will now proceed to destroy the very people that appointed him.

And then there is myself. At this point I could brag about my many achievements and honours throughout my award-strewn WF career. I could go on for hours upon hours about how I am frankly one of the greatest members of all time, and how I am far superior to anything the Admins have to offer. However, I don’t need to. Not only do you all know exactly who I am and what I’ve done, but the fact of the matter is that it’s all irrelevant. The only thing I’ve done that truly matters now is create the Munchies. I created something that is far bigger than myself. I created something that is far bigger than Banter. I created something that is far bigger than WF itself.

You see, I created an idea. I created a state of mind. I created the belief that we can stand up to these Admins, and that we can defeat them and take control for the people. I infected a generation with the faith and confidence they needed to topple tyrants and despots by creating a banner under which they can all stand. Mike Giggs’ Munchies isn’t just a brand… it’s a way of life.

This is by far the greatest achievement of anyone who has ever walked this hallowed ground. Tonight we will unveil it’s glory for all to behold.