Mike Mizanin: Welcome everyone to Slamborusso!
Miz Mikeanin: We'd like to thank Nirvana and Rick Astley for providing us with the official Slamborusso theme song.
The Miz: Let's go to the ring and Renee Young.
RY: Hello everyone. Please welcome the owner of RCW and the GM of RCW, Vince Russo and Dixie Carter.
MM: There has been hype for a huge announcement here tonight. I cannot wait to find out what it is.
MM: You won't have to wait much longer to find out.
RY: Mr. Russo, Mrs. Carter, it's nice to have you here.
VR: It's great to be here in Madison Square Garden. And now I'd like to welcome two people out here. The owners of the WWE, Triple H and Stephanie McMahon.
MM: We saw these two at RCW headquarters. Hopefully we find out exactly what they were doing there.
VR: Thank you for coming.
HHH: I am very happy to be back in Madison Square Garden.
VR: Let's get down to business. You had threatened RCW with a lawsuit for using WWE property, namely ring names. We have come to a settlement which allows RCW to continue using those names so your favorite wrestlers will not be renamed.
HHH: I'm glad we were able to come to an agreement. Starting on the next show there will be changes. From that show lasting until the end of the next PPV. RCW will change its name to WCW during that time. WCW does not stand for World Championship Wrestling, though the last two words are correct, the first W stands for a name. The name of the new GM of the Women's Division.
MM: IT'S THE WARLORD!
MM: THE WARLORD IS THE NEW GM OF THE WOMEN'S DIVISION!
VR: Warlord Championship Wrestling will begin at the next show. Have a great rest of the night.
MM: It's now time to find out who the first finalist for the Women's Title will be.
MM: There's the lovely Maryse.
Miz: She is very lovely.
MM: And her opponent, AJ Lee.
MM: And the bell sounds.
MM: They're locking up.
MM: Maryse picks up AJ.
MM: And slams her down.
MM: AJ sits up.
MM: A dropkick from Maryse!
MM: Maryse posing. Why isn't she going for the pin?
MM: AJ rolls her up!
1..2..kick out
MM: Both women back on their feet.
MM: AJ strikes Maryse.
MM: She grabs her.
MM: And a snapmare. AJ's getting up
MM: What a vicious knee to the head.
MM: AJ goes for the pin.
1..2..How did she kick out?
MM: What does AJ have to do to put away Maryse?
MM: AJ picking up Maryse, wait a minute
MM: Maryse has grabbed her and rolled her up.
1..2..3! Maryse has done it!
MM: AJ doesn't look too happy.
Miz: Who cares? Maryse won. Congratulations Maryse!
MM: I'm surprised Maryse was able to win. Especially after that knee.
Miz: I'm not surprised at all. She's the best female wrestler in the company. Of course she was going to win.
MM: I don't know about that but it's now time for our next match.
MM: It's Elvis Presley!
MM: And his opponent, Buddy Rose.
Miz: Elvis has set up a table at ringside. Is he going to have an autograph session after the match?
MM: Woah. Look at Elvis's attire.
*ding ding*
MM: Who will be the first to act?
MM: Elvis has picked up Rose.
MM: He's carrying him..Is he going to put Rose through that table?
MM: OH MY GOD!
MM: Elvis looking down at Rose.
MM: What's he doing now?
MM: He's picked Rose up. I don't think Rose knows where he's at.
MM: Elvis on the apron. What's he going to do?
MM: HOLY ****!
MM: I can't believe what Elvis has done here tonight.
Miz: The ref is counting.
1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8..9..10
*ding ding*
MM: Elvis has won!
Miz: I never expected anything like that out of him.
MM: I don't think anyone did.
MM: That was insane.
MM: I can't believe how hardcore Elvis is.
Miz: While paramedics help Buddy Rose, let's go to a word from our sponsor.
MM: Welcome back.
Miz: The next match will determine who goes to the finals to face Maryse for the Women's Title.
MM: "The Punjabi Fashion Plate" The Great Colleen.
MM: And her opponent, Michelle McCalaway.
MM: They aren't even starting this match in their corners, they are ready to fight.
MM: Michelle makes the first move by hitting Colleen.
MM: Colleen's wig has fallen off!
MM: She's bending over to pick it up.
MM: That belt she was wearing has fallen off.
MM: She stood up and her jacket has fallen off. Wait a minute. That's..That's The Great Khali! He's been pretending to be a woman this entire time. The ref has disqualified Khali.
MM: Michelle McCalaway is moving on to the finals to face Maryse to decide the first ever RCW Women's Champion.
MM: That was bizarre.
Miz: You can say that again.
MM: That was bizarre.
MM: It's time for one of our most anticipated matches. The Marxist vs the Anti-Marxist.
MM: Accompanied by Pimp Faarooq, JTG.
MM: And his opponent, accompanied by Dean Ambrose, John Laurinaitis.
MM: Things are very heated between the two sides.
DA: When this is all over, you'll be as Red as us.
PF: What did you say?
MM: Oh my God. What the hell was that?
MM: JTG just struck Faarooq with that pole.
MM: He continues to assault Faarooq.
MM: Laurinaitis has taken Faarooq's jacket and is putting it on.
MM: What is going on?
MM: Ambrose is taking his jacket off and giving it to JTG.
MM: Ambrose picks up Faarooq.
MM: Oh no.
MM: Dirty Deeds to Faarooq.
MM: JTG has put that jacket on the pole.
MM: JTG has just put that jacket over Faarooq. This is so disrespectful.
MM: Somebody needs to do something to these guys.
MM: That was totally uncalled for.
Miz: I hope Russo or Dixie punish them for their actions.
MM: Let's hope so.
Miz: It is now time for the main event of Night One of Slamborusso.
MM: Here's the man that ended The Undertaker's undefeated streak and caused The Undertaker to disappear until tonight, Michael Tarver.
MM: The lights are out. You know what that means.
MM: It's The Undertaker. And Paul Heyman is with him!
Miz: Wow. I never thought I'd see the day when Heyman and The Undertaker were on the same side.
MM: Taker looks amazing. I can't imagine what's running through his head right now as he stares across the ring at the man that ended his streak.
Tarver: You'll never win again.
MM: Tarver's trash talk has earned him a chokeslam.
MM: Tarver breaks free.
MM: Tarver hits Taker.
MM: Taker has grabbed Tarver's arm and oh my God...
MM: A huge boot to Tarver.
MM: Tarver's down and begging Taker to have mercy on him.
MM: Taker's not listening to Tarver. He grabs Tarver.
MM: What's Taker doing?
MM: Attempting another chokeslam.
MM: What's Heyman doing on the apron?
MM: He's giving the urn to Taker.
MM: The ref is telling Heyman to get down.
MM: Taker, watch out!
MM: Lowblow to Taker.
MM: Taker's down!
MM: Tarver going for the pin.
1..2..Taker's kicked out.
MM: What's Tarver going to do now?
MM: Taker sits up!
MM: Taker's up and he grabs Tarver.
MM: Taker picks him up.
MM: Chokeslam to Tarver. The third attempt was successful.
MM: Taker's got it.
1..2..What the hell?
MM: Heyman's pulled the ref out of the ring.
MM: Heyman just struck the ref!
MM: To say Taker is not happy would be an understatement.
MM: Heyman's freaking out.
MM: Taker grabs Heyman and is pulling him up to the apron.
MM: TARVER'S GOT THE URN AND HE'S HIT TAKER WITH IT!
MM: HE CONTINUES TO STRIKE TAKER WITH IT!
MM: HEYMAN'S GOT TARVER'S REF SHIRT!
MM: Tarver's setting the urn down.
MM: He's picking Taker up.
MM: Heyman's got the ref shirt on. Tarver's got Taker up.
MM: NO! NO! NO! NO!
MM: TARVER JUST TOMBSTONED TAKER!
MM: HE'S PINNING TAKER LIKE TAKER PINS HIS OPPONENTS! HEYMAN'S COUNTING!
1..2..3
MM: We certainly aren't going to acknowledge that pin.
MM: Heyman's raising Tarver's hand.
MM: Look at all that crap in the ring. And I'm not talking about the cups the fans have thrown.
Miz: Heyman and Tarver deserve every bit of what's thrown at them for what they've done to Taker.
MM: We're out of time here at Night One of Slamborusso. I'm sorry we are leaving you with this image. Damn you Heyman. Damn you Tarver. Damn you both. Damn you both to hell.
