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Post by Brad on Jul 15, 2015 13:01:59 GMT -5
Some of you guys may remember the talk about me getting married and where my fiancee and I would live due to being from two different states and job situations. Well, as of today I've been living in Mississippi for a week and two days. We're renting a house that we both love and considering the small amount of time we've been here we've got a lot accomplished. If you didn't know it already, when you came in our house you'd think we've lived here for a while. All it lacks aside from a few odds and ends we need to pick up is decoration.
Her parents busted their asses putting things together for us the week before I got down here. I can't thank them enough. 95 percent of my stuff came ahead of me and when I got here everything was done for the most part. They didn't have to do that and I realize that but it's made things so much smoother so I definitely appreciate it.
After living with my parents my entire life (I'll be 31 in September) I appreciate the freedom having my own place gives me. We're getting into our groove and haven't had a disagreement yet but I'm sure that wil happen eventually. I work from home so I'm basically doing all the housework. In turn, she makes sure we eat good.
In addition to the move we've both started a lifestyle change. Eating alot healthier than either of us have been for a long time. We're doing our own twist on a Paleo/Low Carb meal plan. We're trying to eat in a way that we feel we can stick to it and so far we have both been satisfied.
That's the good. Here's the bad.
I'm now two states away from my family. I don't have a single family member here. I'm away from the only hometown I've ever known. My dad is angry that I moved because we are so close and he hasn't spoken to me since I left. My mom however has been great and over the last two months I was still home we them we got a lot closer than we probably ever have been. We vent to each other and I've enjoyed getting to know her more.
The hardest thing for me though so far is being away from my niece and nephew. The reason that is so tough is because I have lived with both of them their entire lives. They are 3 and 2 years old. So I got to see them just about every single day. I babysat them in the afternoon's for over a year of that and developed quite a bond. It's only been a little over a week and it feels like forever since I've seen them already. It's messing with my head that I'll never see them every day again and I fear losing the bond I have with them.
So there you guys have it. The good and the bad. For those of you that live away from family how do you handle it?
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Post by ¡Twist Of 45 and 47! on Jul 15, 2015 17:38:00 GMT -5
Woooo, banging without parent interruption  Congrats on the new place. The closest family nearby to me are the inlaws which works out in case we need a babysitter. I don't mind being far away from family. Maybe on a weekend I'll make a drive out and see them but that's about it. |
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Post by The Real Valbroski on Jul 15, 2015 18:23:19 GMT -5
personally I'd love to live away from my family but I understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you made the right choice though. You don't want to be stuck still living with your parents in your 30s. I'm 22 and still live at home and honestly feel like I'm overstaying my welcome.
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Post by Brad on Jul 15, 2015 18:31:09 GMT -5
personally I'd love to live away from my family but I understand where you're coming from. It sounds like you made the right choice though. You don't want to be stuck still living with your parents in your 30s. I'm 22 and still live at home and honestly feel like I'm overstaying my welcome. My parents would have been fine with me never leaving. It worked pretty well for us. Considering the sheer cost of living these days, had I not got engaged (and at a point in time I thought I may never be) I probably wouldn't have ever moved. I know I did the right thing and as time goes on I'm sure I'll appreciate it more but right now being 3 hours away from anything familiar to me is a little tough. |
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Kyle
Main Eventer
Joined on: Jun 18, 2008 22:51:03 GMT -5
Posts: 1,485
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Post by Kyle on Jul 16, 2015 6:21:44 GMT -5
I'm in a similar situation right now, kinda. I've been living with my wife for two years now (I'm 25 by the way) and never lived more than 25 minutes from my parents. I'm starting to get that itch to make a change. There's a lot of drama in my family (I ain't much on drama), my wife and I are unhappy with our current jobs, and the cost of living in central VA is unreasonably high. We've discussed moving to West Virginia, which is where my wife is from and I happen to love the state. My mom is supportive, but dad is basically telling me not to do it. He also didn't want me moving out of their house two years ago or getting married last year. It's not malicious, but dad really doesn't want me to distance myself at all. He's battled depression for the better part of ten years and a physical disability for the past year, but I think he considers me his only real friend. It sucks. I love him to death and I'd do anything for him, but I feel it's not right to hold myself or wife back from doing something to better our lives. It's sticky. Real sticky. Not to mention every single member of both sides of my family live within 30 minutes of me now. Moving to WV will put 4 hours of distance between us.
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Post by Brad on Jul 16, 2015 8:32:25 GMT -5
I'm in a similar situation right now, kinda. I've been living with my wife for two years now (I'm 25 by the way) and never lived more than 25 minutes from my parents. I'm starting to get that itch to make a change. There's a lot of drama in my family (I ain't much on drama), my wife and I are unhappy with our current jobs, and the cost of living in central VA is unreasonably high. We've discussed moving to West Virginia, which is where my wife is from and I happen to love the state. My mom is supportive, but dad is basically telling me not to do it. He also didn't want me moving out of their house two years ago or getting married last year. It's not malicious, but dad really doesn't want me to distance myself at all. He's battled depression for the better part of ten years and a physical disability for the past year, but I think he considers me his only real friend. It sucks. I love him to death and I'd do anything for him, but I feel it's not right to hold myself or wife back from doing something to better our lives. It's sticky. Real sticky. Not to mention every single member of both sides of my family live within 30 minutes of me now. Moving to WV will put 4 hours of distance between us. Yeah, I feel you man. Same with my dad. He and I have been super close almost the last ten years. At one point I think we were each other's only close friend and like you'd I'd do anything for my dad. I look up to him a lot and can sit and talk with and have beers with him for hours. It just sucks because he's so angry at me he's shutting me out. Which I know is just selfishness on his part and I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Maybe I should be mad at him for his attitude but instead it just makes me sad. |
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Kyle
Main Eventer
Joined on: Jun 18, 2008 22:51:03 GMT -5
Posts: 1,485
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Post by Kyle on Jul 16, 2015 10:18:57 GMT -5
I'm in a similar situation right now, kinda. I've been living with my wife for two years now (I'm 25 by the way) and never lived more than 25 minutes from my parents. I'm starting to get that itch to make a change. There's a lot of drama in my family (I ain't much on drama), my wife and I are unhappy with our current jobs, and the cost of living in central VA is unreasonably high. We've discussed moving to West Virginia, which is where my wife is from and I happen to love the state. My mom is supportive, but dad is basically telling me not to do it. He also didn't want me moving out of their house two years ago or getting married last year. It's not malicious, but dad really doesn't want me to distance myself at all. He's battled depression for the better part of ten years and a physical disability for the past year, but I think he considers me his only real friend. It sucks. I love him to death and I'd do anything for him, but I feel it's not right to hold myself or wife back from doing something to better our lives. It's sticky. Real sticky. Not to mention every single member of both sides of my family live within 30 minutes of me now. Moving to WV will put 4 hours of distance between us. Yeah, I feel you man. Same with my dad. He and I have been super close almost the last ten years. At one point I think we were each other's only close friend and like you'd I'd do anything for my dad. I look up to him a lot and can sit and talk with and have beers with him for hours. It just sucks because he's so angry at me he's shutting me out. Which I know is just selfishness on his part and I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Maybe I should be mad at him for his attitude but instead it just makes me sad. It's tough. Definitely doesn't seem like there's a right answer. Crazy to hear he kinda shut you out like that. I'm sorry, man. Sounds like neither of our father's are too happy with whatever situation in life they are currently in. I know my father's depression is his biggest issue. Gotta wonder if your dad has some sort of underlying issue to cause resentment towards you like that. |
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Post by Brad on Jul 16, 2015 10:29:55 GMT -5
Yeah, I feel you man. Same with my dad. He and I have been super close almost the last ten years. At one point I think we were each other's only close friend and like you'd I'd do anything for my dad. I look up to him a lot and can sit and talk with and have beers with him for hours. It just sucks because he's so angry at me he's shutting me out. Which I know is just selfishness on his part and I know I'm not doing anything wrong. Maybe I should be mad at him for his attitude but instead it just makes me sad. It's tough. Definitely doesn't seem like there's a right answer. Crazy to hear he kinda shut you out like that. I'm sorry, man. Sounds like neither of our father's are too happy with whatever situation in life they are currently in. I know my father's depression is his biggest issue. Gotta wonder if your dad has some sort of underlying issue to cause resentment towards you like that. I know he battles depression too. So that's probably it. |
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Post by 0,Y on Jul 16, 2015 11:15:31 GMT -5
I moved out when I was 17 and I couldn't ever imagine living with my parents until my 30s. I love my parents to death and everything but that would be the worst nightmare for everybody involved. It's always hard for parents when their children move out (and far away too in your case) even though it's perfectly natural. It would be a shame if you lost that bond with your father. Good luck with everything  |
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Post by Wicked on Jul 16, 2015 15:57:44 GMT -5
That is great to hear. Congrats on everything that's going on for you.
Sorry to hear about your dad. Best of luck to you bud.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2015 3:45:16 GMT -5
I have no experience to compare it to that would give you any help, Brad, but good on you and I wish you and your fiancée nothing but success in everything you do.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 17, 2015 7:14:28 GMT -5
I'm sure your Dad will come round in time. As you said, you and and your Dad are close, so this is a big change for him too.
It's important to have your own life, and it seems like you and your fiancee have it pretty good. Best of luck to you both!
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Post by King Silva on Jul 18, 2015 2:21:03 GMT -5
Congrats on taking the next step in your life.
Being away from family sucks (and I really can't relate much since the furthest my main family members are is 3 hours away) but with any luck you will get to visit often.
I know you like the new house but maybe in a few years you can move back to your home state?
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Post by Brad on Jul 18, 2015 4:38:04 GMT -5
Congrats on taking the next step in your life. Being away from family sucks (and I really can't relate much since the furthest my main family members are is 3 hours away) but with any luck you will get to visit often. I know you like the new house but maybe in a few years you can move back to your home state? I'm hoping I can. Hope she eventually finds a good job there |
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Post by jollygreenranger on Jul 21, 2015 7:10:25 GMT -5
Congratulations on making such a huge lifestyle change once I moved out of my parent place there was no looking back lol
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Post by Brad on Jul 26, 2015 20:30:02 GMT -5
Just thought I would update you guys. My dad reached out and we texted and sent video messages for a while. Things are getting better
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Post by The Yes Man on Jul 26, 2015 20:47:41 GMT -5
Just thought I would update you guys. My dad reached out and we texted and sent video messages for a while. Things are getting better Awesome to hear that man! |
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