No Remorse RP: I'll See You In The Ring

I have mixed feelings about this one. But I felt that the monologue part was strong, hopefully everyone else did as well.

I'm not gonna lie. I REALLY like you. You're still green, and still need work, but you've got an incredibly good grasp on the fundamentals. I don't know if it comes from your other writing of it you're just a quick study. But you look like you're already ready for your first big feud. As we get closer to SuperBrawl, I'm excited to see you pull out all of the stops for it.

That whole fight scene was what I hated about this RP. I reread it over and over, but only realized after that it had no true effect or meaning in Brandon Bison's story.

"Perhaps there is no moral to this story."

"Exactly. It's just a bunch of stuff that happened."

There's a line writers here often struggle to grasp, which is finding the balance and ability to tie the details of what happens in the bulk of their RPs back into the initial purpose of the piece at all, which is a lead in to their match as a character who wrestles professionally. Successfully accomplished, the action and dialogue within a well written RP would serve to compliment the character's mindset going into the match. This, unfortunately, does not attain that goal.

On one end, we have Bison accosted by a couple of petty burglars, a beginning, middle and end to that notion which leads to....nothing. Going forward, the action is as inconsequential as literally ANYTHING else the characters could have been doing because the only end that was achieved was getting to a point where Bison's companion could state "so, heard you got a match with X coming up". When that is the end target, the break in could have literally been Bison and Jervis making sandwiches, selling lemonade, walking dogs, or helping old ladies cross the street, so long as that action ends, Jervis says his line, and the end of the RP stays the same. All the break in here did was lengthen the rp somewhat.