Post by jdfranchise on Jan 18, 2017 0:35:41 GMT -5
Someone asked me recently 'What's my definition of sacrifice?'
You know until a few weeks ago, I thought I knew the answer.
I thought it was defined by getting up at 4 am every morning, doing conditioning and watching film until 8. I was convinced it foretold tales of grueling in ring sessions, where countless hours were spent perfecting my rubber guard and various situations. I truly believed it meant doing the right things in rehabilitation. Just a little bit of discomfort and inconvience to ensure I could wrestle my next match without any fear of my spinal cord being severed, consequently leaving me a quadriplegic or worse. The devoted dedication to do the work people don't see is a spiritual journey that will test your mettle to it's breaking point, and I did the work willingly in hopes that it would all pay off.
Getting in the ring and wrestling was the easy part. As a result, the answer seemed pretty clear to me.
Pfft... crashing down off this pedestal of being your resident white knight was the best thing that could've happened to me. Confused yet? Here, let me catch you up to speed.
See that rush from the moment "In the City" hits, to walking out and living my life as an open book in front of 50,000 people is an addiction. And I've got it bad, an unhealthy fixation for this business. The competition, the battles of attrition for supremacy make it impossible for me to live a normal life because I'm always jonsing for a platform to flaunt my abilities, moreso than any point in my decade plus career. Giving the fans and my kids someone to believe in enables me with that high, which makes me force my body to overrule my mind. And the success, oh the success I've had just adds to my euphoric feeling. I suppose that's why I took the path less travelled despite knowing I'd have to give up a lot to reap the benefits. But when you're obsessed with that feeling, you don't see it happening until you're neck deep. Sometimes too much success is just as debilitating as constant failure however, and eventually the binge has to end. I had to realize in a very bitter way that my plan wasn't working.
Now coming down is worlds worse than going up. Feels almost like quicksand. Don't believe me... well here's a year end review of what I've sacrificed to feed this addiction:
My moral code.
My sanity.
My family.
And what did those sacrifices give me?
A year as Tag Champions, which would've been nice with a different partner.
Another loss at SuperBrawl, in the main event of all times.
Just a shade under four minutes as WFWF World Heavyweight Champion one night in Vegas.
Four minutes.
FOUR MINUTES!
Nevermind that I stopped the longest WFWF World Title reign in history back in January. No, the greatest moment in my career will go down in infamy because of a sh*tload of controversy these past few months. What's even more ironic is the very people I needed to help me in this fight, ones that I called friends, basically became distractions to boot. For the longest time, the most perplexing part to me about this clusterf*ck was understanding why were our chances of success being stifled as often as they were? Then it hit me like a tall boy to the back of the head...oh wait, that wasn't me. But I digress, because that reason was all but confirmed. They were unable to understand that changing WFWF's culture needed to be on all fronts and not just me in the main event scene. However, undertaking this endeavor is a choice, and they made a decision not to accept the challenge. So is it really any wonder they fell off somewhere between the past two SuperBrawls? Me thinks not.
Keep in mind this is only my side of the narrative. Believe it if you want, call me selfish if you must, but I don't make a habit out of lying to serve my own devices. There's already too many of those jackoffs running around. Then again, maybe there's something to these claims... that I'm no better than Drakz and Trace as far as keeping myself relevant by acting like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I've disagreed with that notion, because I've tried to use my hustle for good and recieved nothing but dimishing returns. Yet I can't convince you otherwise no matter what I do.
Whatever... I'm done with empty promises and fickle friends. Saves me from some unnecessary beatings waiting for a calvary that's never going to show.
I suppose it sounds like sour grapes, and perhaps I'm just a bit salty that things haven't been in my favor recently. Can you really blame me? Look at this from my perspective and tell me what I'm supposed to think. Not many options there. But if you're willing to step outside your little bubble and reflect, you'll be able to realize that my compassion was used against me by those I wanted to help. My warrior's mentality was extorted and for what, SOS to go belly up in the slowest possible death? To miss out on gaining retribution against those who caused this mess? To be eliminated third in the most monumental main event this company will ever know?! That last part is the part that really chaps my ass because anything less than victory is unacceptable to me, much less an early exit. That's inexcusable, plain and simple, especially since I AM the best wrestler on the planet. I didn't perform like it, and I was forced to pick up the pieces on an empty handed flight back to Atlanta.
That lonely flight home made me come to grips with the fact that I made certain choices as well.
I chose to abandon what won me the title and make it a personal vendetta against Trace and Drakz. That was the first sign of trouble, because approaching them as though I could beat them at their own game blew up in my face. I HAD to be the one that took them out, which alienated those close to me from giving their best efforts. So there were mistakes made on both sides, and perhaps I caused a knee jerk reaction in the process. Well played boys, the ole divide and conquer tactic. I may hold a great deal of disdain for both of you, but you don't last at this level for the period you have without resilience and resourcefulness. So credit where it's due, though that bag of tricks is running thin, isn't it? The playbook's been exposed because I wouldn't just go away when people kept saying I should, causing you to try other methods in the meantime. But see, what really nauseates me is accepting that I'm not very different than the two I've been spending the past year trying to eliminate. I was a pusher trying to sell highs, using the philosophy of a utopian society within WFWF as an appetizer. While I believe in honor and other edicts, the reality is someone still has to lose for a vision to take shape.
Never again.
I refuse be sacrificed for someone else's vision, especially when it's wrong. I came back to this company to solidify my legacy, teach the next generation a different way of thinking, and to make money. It's about time I remember that, and SuperBrawl was a damn good start for the Architect to design an even better conquest.
And what a better place to start than in this tournament, which just got a whole lot more interesting.
Josh Dean Presents
Pusher
AKA: Feeding Addictions
Life After Wrestling
Championship Connections
Atlanta, Georgia
1-3-17
"Ok, so basically your job is to oversee the development of each athlete under our banner." I say as Penny maneuvers to get comfortable at her new desk. "You'll observe workouts and oversee commission sanctioned events such as drug screens."
"Ok," she says before turning on her monitor. " I guess I'll need to hit the ground running then."
"Yeah, you'll find that it's fast paced. But you can handle it."
"Ok, well let's see what I have on my roster sheet," she announces while pulling up the spreadsheet before excaiming, "Holy sh*t, there's over two hundred athletes in here!"
"Yeah, and we're looking to add about fifty more by May."
"Pretty ambitious."
"Well it helps with grants," I begin, pulling up a seat beside Penny, "especially since I'm looking to expand our facilities in the next year."
"You never told me this."
"I know, but remember you were also a client six months ago." I retort, "And now that you're a high ranking official within the company, it's important for you to really how massive of a transition we're going through."
The wheels in Penny's head are turning and I don't blame her. I've invested a large stake of Championship Connections' future in her ability to build champions. She's a natural at molding athletes around their strengths, an aptitude her new colleagues don't possess. My failure at SuperBrawl has caused a 'cleaning house' within the infrastructure, primarily due to the focus revolving around money. Getting back to basics is vital for this turnaround, which requires a more practical, hands on set of skills.
"I want to make this a one stop shop for athletes across the board, "I say while standing up, "and the crown jewel in that plan is our combat athletes. That's the sector I want you to specifically target."
"But you have people from all sports."
"I do, I'm also scheduled for a couple interviews this afternoon with a couple guys who specialize in our more mainstream sports."
"Will they be working under me?"
"To a degree. You are the head of our talent development department, so things such as budgets and evaluations will go through you."
"I don't know a lot about sports like basketball..."
"I know, which is where you'll be in more of a supervisor role, to ensure that our athletes get what they need."
"I guess this works, considering the chain of command we've had to deal with before."
"There has to be a dialogue between everyone, and there isn't one in WFWF."
I don't believe Penny needs a reminder, and there's certainly a cautionary tale that can be taken from what we've learned in the past couple years. I've seen how WFWF has struggled to gain respect amongst the other titans that make up the sports and entertainment business, and it's largely to the lack of leadership in the office. Well, I shouldn't say leadership, because our owner had no qualms stating who was in charge, and that was the problem.
My mind has been pulled in several different directions for as long as I can remember. The kids, Nikki and our relationship, the firm, WFWF; all of it becomes overwhelming when each requires so much focus. All get slighted at some point, and it's truly a matter of what the implications are for those actions. Nikki hasn't lived at the house for a few months now, which has strained my relationship with the kids even more than being on the road for weeks at a time. Trying to swallow that lump in your throat when a three year old cries for you is a bigger challenge than facingva seven foot leviathan after a lobotomy. I've experienced both, and it's no contest.
Penny looks at my face and asks, "So has she filed the papers?"
"No, I wish she would if she were going to."
"Maybe it's just too hard for her."
"The longer she waits though, the harder it is on the kids."
"What about you?"
"I'm a big boy, so I can handle it." I say while tying my hair back. "Just do it quick, like ripping off a bandage."
"Have you ever thought about filing before she does?"
"It don't want to do that. Besides, she's the one who decided to leave, just like she was the one who convinced me to come back. You can't have it both ways."
"I don't think Nikki realized what the life of a wrestler really meant."
"Well she should've asked me first and I would've explained why it was a bad idea."
"Would you have been ok with staying retired?"
I pause for a moment to think about Penny's question, which is clearly loaded. Finally I reply, "I don't know if I would've been ok persay. However, I do think that staying at a distance would've made it easier to not live in the past. Sure I would've missed wrestling..."
"But?"
"But I could live a normal life and I wouldn't be in this mess."
"We also wouldn't be here having this conversation."
"Maybe we would be though, because I was still looking at you to be a part of this company either way."
"Now you're just saying things."
"No, I mean that." I say as Penny turns away from her computer. "You have the kind of progressive thinking a company like this needs. It would've been smart business."
"I appreciate it man," she says, taking a drink before continuing, "but I think you have too much passion to settle for what ifs. I've known you for a long time and wrestling is in your soul. You don't just ignore that."
*****
I guess it makes sense, this tournament and all. Ten years ago, I won a 'rising stars' tournament and barely broke a sweat doing it. I was just so far ahead of the game that nobody was able to offer me anything resembling a challenge. But time has a way of closing the gap, and when I look around WFWF now I see the most competitive locker room in company history. It'd be hard not to lick my chops around this bunch, and why not? It's a veritable smorgasbord of asses just waiting to be used as shoes.
If I'm wrong, then tell me how we managed to have a six man elimination chamber match at SuperBrawl among other high stakes bouts? How about the fact that we've managed to put together a ten man field where, statistically, half can conceivably win the whole thing?
Hmm, no answer. I'm hardly surprised.
But I digress because the talent pool is growing nevertheless, and I'm not the only one that recognizes it. That's why we kinda need this tournament in place as means to see who is truly the best. I personally benefitted from this formula way back when, so I know how effective it is. Keep in mind I was already an established name outside WFWF, but I can't really expect ignorance to leave its little bubble, now can I? Consequently they branded me as a promising upstart, and I wasn't about to dispute it when I just walked through the door. So I took the brass's f*ck up and finished off every single opponent in shorter order than the last, thus setting myself up for an adequate payday years later. I'm going to do that again with greater stakes attached despite the hope Lila Sleater's now selling, a chance for someone else to rise to the summit with this format the way I did. That makes it highly likely to come at my expense, you know, should hell freeze over. The other half of these guys getting a shot will have to improve significantly in order to have a chance for something other than embarassment. That's a tall order especially when tournaments favor my preference of approaching one opponent at a time, knowing I've got to beat them all eventually.
There's one person I know isn't very happy about being replaced so quickly, and that's our esteemed former champion Isaac Cray. Did he make it out of Pasadena under his own power after the beating he took throughout the night?
Meh, who cares? Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
I'm certainly past the point of speaking for him, but just when it seemed like he dodged all the hurdles he runs into a ghost at the last one. And that scared him because this third reign of his was predicated on getting some help in order to retain the belt, including that nice little assist he got to 'beat' me for it in the first place. I thought I could outlast the field inside that chamber and we could finally figure this sh*t out properly, but it just wasn't meant to go that way and it left me with a choice. I could take this setback and wallow at a missed opportunity, but that would be counterproductive to any sort of progress. Or I can look at this tournament, one they're calling the Supreme Gauntlet, as a way to make it so that Isaac Cray can't avoid me if and when he returns, especially if he has ideas of setting the record straight. And with Kyzer coming back into the mix, I'd be willing to bet that Isaac won't give this tournament the attention it deserves because he finally gets his chance at revenge. Oh the great Hollywood narrative unfolds right before our very eyes! Damn the title he was using as leverage this whole time.
F*ck that.
And f*ck him too while we're at it because I'll be waiting for him to crawl his ass out of the hospital bed again. I'm the guy you bank on facing at some point and dedicate time towards a gameplan, one that you pray works once I hit you in the mouth. Isaac Cray knows this, just like he understands that we will never be able to rid ourselves of one another. We're linked because of our year as Tag Team Champions, we're forever connected because of Las Vegas. And we're binded by one simple truth, that he's been ducking me every chance he gets the same way that crusty, molded up piece of bread's been ducking him for the past four years. Well, I won't wait that long because it's not like I have a lot of things occupying my time anymore. I'm going to treat every opponent as if it were Isaac Cray across the ring from me. I realize that Trace will always have a stake in this company, so I won't be able to rid the company of him completely because his hooks are in too far unless he sells it. But what I can do is stop him from taking a championship he doesn't deserve.
Oh, so he really did sell the company? News to me.
Well that was smart anyway because he sucked as an owner, leaving a pretty low bar for the new guy. It was tactically smart to salvage his career because it was suffering as a result of trying to control the board room. See sponsors don't care if you're some sort of blood thirsty killer, they only look at the numbers and that's where Trace failed with his attempts of collusion and intimidation. He couldn't draw worth a sh*t despite what his legion of hanger ons tried to say to the contrary. But see there's an obligation to keep the lights on so he had to play ball with those suits, and they basically trained him to be their dancing monkey. Isaac Cray, on the other hand, never had that sense of commitment and it showed in his actions. His only motivations were Kyzer and that belt, so what's the reason for caring after those two items get checked off? He has none, so we find ourselves in an interesting position should he decide he doesn't want to show up anymore; that he's too damaged to come out and prove that he's the man. Now ask yourself, is that a guy you want to lay down your money to watch?
Me neither, and that's not just because I had a vested interest in beating him for the title again. I'd feel the same way if it were anyone else. So I guess you can say a tangible goal makes it a lot easier to take care of any preceding business, not that I had that problem before. My fault during this past year was getting away from that, losing my focus on what was important. As a leader and a veteran, that falls squarely on my shoulders. I take that blame and hold myself accountable for my shortcomings, which is more than I can say for others. Yeah I'm looking at you, Brennan.
WFWF is in dire need of a facelift and I'm well aware that most see this as an opportunity to raise their stock one way or another. But I see that gold as the true negotiating chip to make some real changes around here. And it begins with Dex.
Now I want to preface before I get too out of hand and say that I don't hate Dex. I'll admit he's not my favorite person, and maybe once I explain why it'll make sense. But it should be known very early on that being recognized as a World Champion is a privilege designated to those who put in the necessary work, not a birthright.
Which is why it insults me that Dex is known as a former World Champion. What's worse is that he and I are often times lumped in together as being considered the least deserving World Champions in company history.
After our match in this tournament Dex, I will ensure no one ever makes the mistake of comparing us again.
I could talk about the toils of a decade plus career, with self destruction after self destruction just to make it back to WFWF. How I had to endure finding my feet again amidst a difficult losing streak, and how I had to beat basically everyone on the roster to get a shot at finally adding the one championship that eluded me my entire career. I could regale you with a heroic tale of being concussed halfway through my match with Isaac Cray and still being able to beat him for the title, becoming one of a very select few to have that distinction of beating him. I may even be able to squeeze in a Shakespearean worthy tragedy of having my title stolen from me and having to share my rematch with four other men. And that's just to get here, a tournament where we all have the same opportunity.
All you had to do was show up in a mask, cut some incoherent, faux poetic bullsh*t you call a promo, win a match against a guy that should've stayed retired when he initially did ten years ago, and unmask. If I would've known that's all it would've taken to be gifted the World Title, I'm still not sure I would've done it. Tempting yes, but I have a bit more respect for the title than that and as a result, more respect for it than you.
Just so we're clear, that's the issue that will be rectified in short order when we finally square off.
And I find it funny how Lila Sleater has managed to book you to avoid facing me for as long as she has. I mean two years she's tried like hell to keep me away from you, and it's pretty easy to see why. She knows that I would do worse to you than what Trace and Schneider did to you. I'm not talking about trying to maim you, oh no. But I would simply out class you and put an end to this fallacy of Dex being a main event caliber talent, which you certainly are not. But I have to treat you like such because yeah you've won a few matches. Yeah, you've got a few moves that could be problematic. But the thing is Dex, I saw the extent of your character when you lost the championship to Drakz all that time ago. You had a rematch, but did you ever pursue it?
Nope.
How about trying to get revenge on Trace for costing you the title, because that would've at least made sense?
Nope.
What'd you do instead? Ran home with your tail between your legs, hoping that everyone would forget how you sh*t on the most prestigious title in this business and made a liar out of the one guy who believed that you could rise to the occasion.
You don't deserve the right to mention yourself in the same breath as Shawn, EBR, Wayne McGurk, or even me simply because you folded when it got hard and your realized what it truly meant to be a champion. When you finally understood that you didn't have it.
So I'm going to do you a favor in our match. I'm going to embarass you and finally show the people making these decisions that high stakes situations like this are things they need to keep you away from, placing you in a spot on the a bit more realistic for a guy of your abilities. It's really none of my business if they decide to heed that advice, but they'd be doing a great service to you by giving you the chance to build yourself back up the right way.
In the meantime, the Supreme Gauntlet is going to have it's first true squash match at your expense.
So I suppose it's to get my hands dirty.
You know until a few weeks ago, I thought I knew the answer.
I thought it was defined by getting up at 4 am every morning, doing conditioning and watching film until 8. I was convinced it foretold tales of grueling in ring sessions, where countless hours were spent perfecting my rubber guard and various situations. I truly believed it meant doing the right things in rehabilitation. Just a little bit of discomfort and inconvience to ensure I could wrestle my next match without any fear of my spinal cord being severed, consequently leaving me a quadriplegic or worse. The devoted dedication to do the work people don't see is a spiritual journey that will test your mettle to it's breaking point, and I did the work willingly in hopes that it would all pay off.
Getting in the ring and wrestling was the easy part. As a result, the answer seemed pretty clear to me.
Pfft... crashing down off this pedestal of being your resident white knight was the best thing that could've happened to me. Confused yet? Here, let me catch you up to speed.
See that rush from the moment "In the City" hits, to walking out and living my life as an open book in front of 50,000 people is an addiction. And I've got it bad, an unhealthy fixation for this business. The competition, the battles of attrition for supremacy make it impossible for me to live a normal life because I'm always jonsing for a platform to flaunt my abilities, moreso than any point in my decade plus career. Giving the fans and my kids someone to believe in enables me with that high, which makes me force my body to overrule my mind. And the success, oh the success I've had just adds to my euphoric feeling. I suppose that's why I took the path less travelled despite knowing I'd have to give up a lot to reap the benefits. But when you're obsessed with that feeling, you don't see it happening until you're neck deep. Sometimes too much success is just as debilitating as constant failure however, and eventually the binge has to end. I had to realize in a very bitter way that my plan wasn't working.
Now coming down is worlds worse than going up. Feels almost like quicksand. Don't believe me... well here's a year end review of what I've sacrificed to feed this addiction:
My moral code.
My sanity.
My family.
And what did those sacrifices give me?
A year as Tag Champions, which would've been nice with a different partner.
Another loss at SuperBrawl, in the main event of all times.
Just a shade under four minutes as WFWF World Heavyweight Champion one night in Vegas.
Four minutes.
FOUR MINUTES!
Nevermind that I stopped the longest WFWF World Title reign in history back in January. No, the greatest moment in my career will go down in infamy because of a sh*tload of controversy these past few months. What's even more ironic is the very people I needed to help me in this fight, ones that I called friends, basically became distractions to boot. For the longest time, the most perplexing part to me about this clusterf*ck was understanding why were our chances of success being stifled as often as they were? Then it hit me like a tall boy to the back of the head...oh wait, that wasn't me. But I digress, because that reason was all but confirmed. They were unable to understand that changing WFWF's culture needed to be on all fronts and not just me in the main event scene. However, undertaking this endeavor is a choice, and they made a decision not to accept the challenge. So is it really any wonder they fell off somewhere between the past two SuperBrawls? Me thinks not.
Keep in mind this is only my side of the narrative. Believe it if you want, call me selfish if you must, but I don't make a habit out of lying to serve my own devices. There's already too many of those jackoffs running around. Then again, maybe there's something to these claims... that I'm no better than Drakz and Trace as far as keeping myself relevant by acting like a wolf in sheep's clothing. I've disagreed with that notion, because I've tried to use my hustle for good and recieved nothing but dimishing returns. Yet I can't convince you otherwise no matter what I do.
Whatever... I'm done with empty promises and fickle friends. Saves me from some unnecessary beatings waiting for a calvary that's never going to show.
I suppose it sounds like sour grapes, and perhaps I'm just a bit salty that things haven't been in my favor recently. Can you really blame me? Look at this from my perspective and tell me what I'm supposed to think. Not many options there. But if you're willing to step outside your little bubble and reflect, you'll be able to realize that my compassion was used against me by those I wanted to help. My warrior's mentality was extorted and for what, SOS to go belly up in the slowest possible death? To miss out on gaining retribution against those who caused this mess? To be eliminated third in the most monumental main event this company will ever know?! That last part is the part that really chaps my ass because anything less than victory is unacceptable to me, much less an early exit. That's inexcusable, plain and simple, especially since I AM the best wrestler on the planet. I didn't perform like it, and I was forced to pick up the pieces on an empty handed flight back to Atlanta.
That lonely flight home made me come to grips with the fact that I made certain choices as well.
I chose to abandon what won me the title and make it a personal vendetta against Trace and Drakz. That was the first sign of trouble, because approaching them as though I could beat them at their own game blew up in my face. I HAD to be the one that took them out, which alienated those close to me from giving their best efforts. So there were mistakes made on both sides, and perhaps I caused a knee jerk reaction in the process. Well played boys, the ole divide and conquer tactic. I may hold a great deal of disdain for both of you, but you don't last at this level for the period you have without resilience and resourcefulness. So credit where it's due, though that bag of tricks is running thin, isn't it? The playbook's been exposed because I wouldn't just go away when people kept saying I should, causing you to try other methods in the meantime. But see, what really nauseates me is accepting that I'm not very different than the two I've been spending the past year trying to eliminate. I was a pusher trying to sell highs, using the philosophy of a utopian society within WFWF as an appetizer. While I believe in honor and other edicts, the reality is someone still has to lose for a vision to take shape.
Never again.
I refuse be sacrificed for someone else's vision, especially when it's wrong. I came back to this company to solidify my legacy, teach the next generation a different way of thinking, and to make money. It's about time I remember that, and SuperBrawl was a damn good start for the Architect to design an even better conquest.
And what a better place to start than in this tournament, which just got a whole lot more interesting.
Josh Dean Presents
Pusher
AKA: Feeding Addictions
Life After Wrestling
Championship Connections
Atlanta, Georgia
1-3-17
"Ok, so basically your job is to oversee the development of each athlete under our banner." I say as Penny maneuvers to get comfortable at her new desk. "You'll observe workouts and oversee commission sanctioned events such as drug screens."
"Ok," she says before turning on her monitor. " I guess I'll need to hit the ground running then."
"Yeah, you'll find that it's fast paced. But you can handle it."
"Ok, well let's see what I have on my roster sheet," she announces while pulling up the spreadsheet before excaiming, "Holy sh*t, there's over two hundred athletes in here!"
"Yeah, and we're looking to add about fifty more by May."
"Pretty ambitious."
"Well it helps with grants," I begin, pulling up a seat beside Penny, "especially since I'm looking to expand our facilities in the next year."
"You never told me this."
"I know, but remember you were also a client six months ago." I retort, "And now that you're a high ranking official within the company, it's important for you to really how massive of a transition we're going through."
The wheels in Penny's head are turning and I don't blame her. I've invested a large stake of Championship Connections' future in her ability to build champions. She's a natural at molding athletes around their strengths, an aptitude her new colleagues don't possess. My failure at SuperBrawl has caused a 'cleaning house' within the infrastructure, primarily due to the focus revolving around money. Getting back to basics is vital for this turnaround, which requires a more practical, hands on set of skills.
"I want to make this a one stop shop for athletes across the board, "I say while standing up, "and the crown jewel in that plan is our combat athletes. That's the sector I want you to specifically target."
"But you have people from all sports."
"I do, I'm also scheduled for a couple interviews this afternoon with a couple guys who specialize in our more mainstream sports."
"Will they be working under me?"
"To a degree. You are the head of our talent development department, so things such as budgets and evaluations will go through you."
"I don't know a lot about sports like basketball..."
"I know, which is where you'll be in more of a supervisor role, to ensure that our athletes get what they need."
"I guess this works, considering the chain of command we've had to deal with before."
"There has to be a dialogue between everyone, and there isn't one in WFWF."
I don't believe Penny needs a reminder, and there's certainly a cautionary tale that can be taken from what we've learned in the past couple years. I've seen how WFWF has struggled to gain respect amongst the other titans that make up the sports and entertainment business, and it's largely to the lack of leadership in the office. Well, I shouldn't say leadership, because our owner had no qualms stating who was in charge, and that was the problem.
My mind has been pulled in several different directions for as long as I can remember. The kids, Nikki and our relationship, the firm, WFWF; all of it becomes overwhelming when each requires so much focus. All get slighted at some point, and it's truly a matter of what the implications are for those actions. Nikki hasn't lived at the house for a few months now, which has strained my relationship with the kids even more than being on the road for weeks at a time. Trying to swallow that lump in your throat when a three year old cries for you is a bigger challenge than facingva seven foot leviathan after a lobotomy. I've experienced both, and it's no contest.
Penny looks at my face and asks, "So has she filed the papers?"
"No, I wish she would if she were going to."
"Maybe it's just too hard for her."
"The longer she waits though, the harder it is on the kids."
"What about you?"
"I'm a big boy, so I can handle it." I say while tying my hair back. "Just do it quick, like ripping off a bandage."
"Have you ever thought about filing before she does?"
"It don't want to do that. Besides, she's the one who decided to leave, just like she was the one who convinced me to come back. You can't have it both ways."
"I don't think Nikki realized what the life of a wrestler really meant."
"Well she should've asked me first and I would've explained why it was a bad idea."
"Would you have been ok with staying retired?"
I pause for a moment to think about Penny's question, which is clearly loaded. Finally I reply, "I don't know if I would've been ok persay. However, I do think that staying at a distance would've made it easier to not live in the past. Sure I would've missed wrestling..."
"But?"
"But I could live a normal life and I wouldn't be in this mess."
"We also wouldn't be here having this conversation."
"Maybe we would be though, because I was still looking at you to be a part of this company either way."
"Now you're just saying things."
"No, I mean that." I say as Penny turns away from her computer. "You have the kind of progressive thinking a company like this needs. It would've been smart business."
"I appreciate it man," she says, taking a drink before continuing, "but I think you have too much passion to settle for what ifs. I've known you for a long time and wrestling is in your soul. You don't just ignore that."
*****
I guess it makes sense, this tournament and all. Ten years ago, I won a 'rising stars' tournament and barely broke a sweat doing it. I was just so far ahead of the game that nobody was able to offer me anything resembling a challenge. But time has a way of closing the gap, and when I look around WFWF now I see the most competitive locker room in company history. It'd be hard not to lick my chops around this bunch, and why not? It's a veritable smorgasbord of asses just waiting to be used as shoes.
If I'm wrong, then tell me how we managed to have a six man elimination chamber match at SuperBrawl among other high stakes bouts? How about the fact that we've managed to put together a ten man field where, statistically, half can conceivably win the whole thing?
Hmm, no answer. I'm hardly surprised.
But I digress because the talent pool is growing nevertheless, and I'm not the only one that recognizes it. That's why we kinda need this tournament in place as means to see who is truly the best. I personally benefitted from this formula way back when, so I know how effective it is. Keep in mind I was already an established name outside WFWF, but I can't really expect ignorance to leave its little bubble, now can I? Consequently they branded me as a promising upstart, and I wasn't about to dispute it when I just walked through the door. So I took the brass's f*ck up and finished off every single opponent in shorter order than the last, thus setting myself up for an adequate payday years later. I'm going to do that again with greater stakes attached despite the hope Lila Sleater's now selling, a chance for someone else to rise to the summit with this format the way I did. That makes it highly likely to come at my expense, you know, should hell freeze over. The other half of these guys getting a shot will have to improve significantly in order to have a chance for something other than embarassment. That's a tall order especially when tournaments favor my preference of approaching one opponent at a time, knowing I've got to beat them all eventually.
There's one person I know isn't very happy about being replaced so quickly, and that's our esteemed former champion Isaac Cray. Did he make it out of Pasadena under his own power after the beating he took throughout the night?
Meh, who cares? Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.
I'm certainly past the point of speaking for him, but just when it seemed like he dodged all the hurdles he runs into a ghost at the last one. And that scared him because this third reign of his was predicated on getting some help in order to retain the belt, including that nice little assist he got to 'beat' me for it in the first place. I thought I could outlast the field inside that chamber and we could finally figure this sh*t out properly, but it just wasn't meant to go that way and it left me with a choice. I could take this setback and wallow at a missed opportunity, but that would be counterproductive to any sort of progress. Or I can look at this tournament, one they're calling the Supreme Gauntlet, as a way to make it so that Isaac Cray can't avoid me if and when he returns, especially if he has ideas of setting the record straight. And with Kyzer coming back into the mix, I'd be willing to bet that Isaac won't give this tournament the attention it deserves because he finally gets his chance at revenge. Oh the great Hollywood narrative unfolds right before our very eyes! Damn the title he was using as leverage this whole time.
F*ck that.
And f*ck him too while we're at it because I'll be waiting for him to crawl his ass out of the hospital bed again. I'm the guy you bank on facing at some point and dedicate time towards a gameplan, one that you pray works once I hit you in the mouth. Isaac Cray knows this, just like he understands that we will never be able to rid ourselves of one another. We're linked because of our year as Tag Team Champions, we're forever connected because of Las Vegas. And we're binded by one simple truth, that he's been ducking me every chance he gets the same way that crusty, molded up piece of bread's been ducking him for the past four years. Well, I won't wait that long because it's not like I have a lot of things occupying my time anymore. I'm going to treat every opponent as if it were Isaac Cray across the ring from me. I realize that Trace will always have a stake in this company, so I won't be able to rid the company of him completely because his hooks are in too far unless he sells it. But what I can do is stop him from taking a championship he doesn't deserve.
Oh, so he really did sell the company? News to me.
Well that was smart anyway because he sucked as an owner, leaving a pretty low bar for the new guy. It was tactically smart to salvage his career because it was suffering as a result of trying to control the board room. See sponsors don't care if you're some sort of blood thirsty killer, they only look at the numbers and that's where Trace failed with his attempts of collusion and intimidation. He couldn't draw worth a sh*t despite what his legion of hanger ons tried to say to the contrary. But see there's an obligation to keep the lights on so he had to play ball with those suits, and they basically trained him to be their dancing monkey. Isaac Cray, on the other hand, never had that sense of commitment and it showed in his actions. His only motivations were Kyzer and that belt, so what's the reason for caring after those two items get checked off? He has none, so we find ourselves in an interesting position should he decide he doesn't want to show up anymore; that he's too damaged to come out and prove that he's the man. Now ask yourself, is that a guy you want to lay down your money to watch?
Me neither, and that's not just because I had a vested interest in beating him for the title again. I'd feel the same way if it were anyone else. So I guess you can say a tangible goal makes it a lot easier to take care of any preceding business, not that I had that problem before. My fault during this past year was getting away from that, losing my focus on what was important. As a leader and a veteran, that falls squarely on my shoulders. I take that blame and hold myself accountable for my shortcomings, which is more than I can say for others. Yeah I'm looking at you, Brennan.
WFWF is in dire need of a facelift and I'm well aware that most see this as an opportunity to raise their stock one way or another. But I see that gold as the true negotiating chip to make some real changes around here. And it begins with Dex.
Now I want to preface before I get too out of hand and say that I don't hate Dex. I'll admit he's not my favorite person, and maybe once I explain why it'll make sense. But it should be known very early on that being recognized as a World Champion is a privilege designated to those who put in the necessary work, not a birthright.
Which is why it insults me that Dex is known as a former World Champion. What's worse is that he and I are often times lumped in together as being considered the least deserving World Champions in company history.
After our match in this tournament Dex, I will ensure no one ever makes the mistake of comparing us again.
I could talk about the toils of a decade plus career, with self destruction after self destruction just to make it back to WFWF. How I had to endure finding my feet again amidst a difficult losing streak, and how I had to beat basically everyone on the roster to get a shot at finally adding the one championship that eluded me my entire career. I could regale you with a heroic tale of being concussed halfway through my match with Isaac Cray and still being able to beat him for the title, becoming one of a very select few to have that distinction of beating him. I may even be able to squeeze in a Shakespearean worthy tragedy of having my title stolen from me and having to share my rematch with four other men. And that's just to get here, a tournament where we all have the same opportunity.
All you had to do was show up in a mask, cut some incoherent, faux poetic bullsh*t you call a promo, win a match against a guy that should've stayed retired when he initially did ten years ago, and unmask. If I would've known that's all it would've taken to be gifted the World Title, I'm still not sure I would've done it. Tempting yes, but I have a bit more respect for the title than that and as a result, more respect for it than you.
Just so we're clear, that's the issue that will be rectified in short order when we finally square off.
And I find it funny how Lila Sleater has managed to book you to avoid facing me for as long as she has. I mean two years she's tried like hell to keep me away from you, and it's pretty easy to see why. She knows that I would do worse to you than what Trace and Schneider did to you. I'm not talking about trying to maim you, oh no. But I would simply out class you and put an end to this fallacy of Dex being a main event caliber talent, which you certainly are not. But I have to treat you like such because yeah you've won a few matches. Yeah, you've got a few moves that could be problematic. But the thing is Dex, I saw the extent of your character when you lost the championship to Drakz all that time ago. You had a rematch, but did you ever pursue it?
Nope.
How about trying to get revenge on Trace for costing you the title, because that would've at least made sense?
Nope.
What'd you do instead? Ran home with your tail between your legs, hoping that everyone would forget how you sh*t on the most prestigious title in this business and made a liar out of the one guy who believed that you could rise to the occasion.
You don't deserve the right to mention yourself in the same breath as Shawn, EBR, Wayne McGurk, or even me simply because you folded when it got hard and your realized what it truly meant to be a champion. When you finally understood that you didn't have it.
So I'm going to do you a favor in our match. I'm going to embarass you and finally show the people making these decisions that high stakes situations like this are things they need to keep you away from, placing you in a spot on the a bit more realistic for a guy of your abilities. It's really none of my business if they decide to heed that advice, but they'd be doing a great service to you by giving you the chance to build yourself back up the right way.
In the meantime, the Supreme Gauntlet is going to have it's first true squash match at your expense.
So I suppose it's to get my hands dirty.