Post by King Richius on Feb 1, 2017 15:56:30 GMT -5
WFWF Supreme Gauntlet 17: Night 2 RP
Zen and the Art of Wrestling
featuring Frank Lynn
Just think about it.
The four most dangerous words in the English language. I honestly believe that. Not “fully loaded automatic rifle” or “asteroid heading for Earth” or “Donald Trump wins election”. Sure, those combinations of words are scary but not nearly as much as “just think about it”. Thinking is dangerous sh*t.
Einstein thought a lot. The result was the atom bomb. Hitler thought a lot. The result was World War II and the Holocaust. Marx thought a lot. The result was Joseph Stalin’s Soviet Union. L Ron Hubbard thought a lot. The result was scientology. The world might be a better place if certain people didn’t think so much.
So what thoughts did Joe Bishop stir in me when he said just think about it?
For starters, it made me wonder what the hell he was thinking coming to me for help. It’s no secret. I don’t think his crusade, revolution, war, whatever the f*ck he is calling it this week, will succeed. Change in the WFWF comes from the top down and if it happens it will start behind the closed doors of the board room. It is up to the new owner and Lila Sleater to finally take control of the asylum back from the inmates.
Just how much are the inmates in charge? Trace Demon has his iron clad “god status” contract, Brennan carries around a title belt that isn’t his, relics like Kyzer and Schneider come and go as they please, wrestlers who never had a match are invited to be part of the Supreme Gauntlet tournament, wrestlers get assaulted & mutilated at the company’s premiere PPV event, and that is just the tip of the iceberg! The WFWF is batsh*t crazy.
Good lord, when I go off like that I really do sound like Joe Bishop. No denying that a whole hell of lot goes on that rubs me the wrong way. As my mother used to say, the WFWF has a PhD in bullsh*t, PhD standing for piled higher and deeper.
Joe believes he can change all those things and more. He believes he can create a wrestling nirvana that is run as a meritocracy.
I don’t.
We, the wrestlers, are independent contractors with no union who work at the whims of the industry and the fans who support it. We have no voice. Our role is to show up when & where we are told to, fight who we are booked against, wrestle to the best of our abilities, put asses in the seats, and sell merchandise - mainly the last two. Wins and losses, while paramount to us, are irrelevant to management. We can be replaced. It happens all the time due to injuries, retirements, releases, and firings. Joe either doesn’t believe that or doesn’t care.
I do.
I respect Joe Bishop the man and the competitor. I wish him luck in his private war because he is going to need a sh*tload of it. I believe that he is wasting all of his energy on a lost cause. Hell, if he stopped trying to change the world and put all that effort into changing his place in the world this whole tournament might be a moot point. Joe would already be walking around as the WFWF champion and the rest of us would be killing each other for the chance to challenge him.
I wish Joe had never approached me. Because of him I did think about it. There are times when I can’t stop thinking about it despite always coming to the same conclusion: Joe Bishop is a dreamer in need of a wake-up call. The sooner the better before he goes from crusader to martyr.
Paging Dr. Demon. Reality Checkostomy in Group A. STAT.
Joe Bishop’s proposal is a distraction I don’t need, especially given what is going on at Legacy. (Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Be patient.) I had zero distractions before night one and I lost to David f’n Brennan. How much better will I do against Dex on night two with all of these distractions? If I am to win the Supreme Gauntlet, it starts by winning my next match. If I am to earn the respect of the locker room that I so badly want, it starts by winning my next match.
Simply put, I have to focus on my next match. Not the last one against Brennan nor the next ones against Josh and Ante. Dex is all that matters. No distractions allowed.
Well damn, I had more to say about that particular train of thought than I thought. But that wasn’t the only train traveling the tracks of my cerebrum. Sorry Joe Bishop, as intriguing as our conversation was it only occupied a small part of my time.
What else have I been thinking about?
Losing. Quitting. The NFL Playoffs.
Mostly losing and quitting but as long as the Patriots are still playing I will be thinking about football on Sundays.
Boston, MA : Jan. 26, 2017
The stars are already out in force despite the sun having set less than a half hour ago. The sky isn’t quite the kaleidoscopic vision of twinkling lights that you get in the country, far removed from the interference of Boston’s man-made aura. Still, tonight the sky is crystal clear, many more stars than usual easily visible to the naked eye. It is both calming and humbling to sit and stare at them. I can use the calming, the humbling not so much as I’ve had enough of that lately.
I’m here on the roof of the Legacy facilities cooling down from yet another long workout as I get ready for Dex. You might think I’m on the roof feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in self pity that no matter what I do I just can’t get the job done and night two of the tournament will be no different. And yes, there is a certain measure of disappointment causing the melancholic state of being that brought me to the roof for some stargazing and soul searching.
I lost to David f’n Brennan on night one of the tournament. That’s three in a row, officially a losing streak. My Rookie of the Year award is getting tarnished. My chances of winning the tournament are almost zero now, not that anyone gave me much more than a zero chance to begin with.
I could still win it if I pull an Aaron Rodgers and run the table but I’m not holding my breath on that. A major reason Rodgers got as far as he did is that he has been there, done that - remember “R-E-L-A-X relax”? Experience is the greatest tool of all in any endeavor including the NFL and the WFWF.
And that is why, with apologies to the greatest quarterback to walk God’s green Earth - Tom Brady (don’t disagree with me, it makes you look stupid), I am following Rodgers’ advice. R-E-L-A-X.
Of course, being the almost manic always angry fighter that I am, I needed to research how to relax which led me to Zen. A basic precept of Zen is that life is suffering but there is a way to leave the suffering behind to find true happiness. That way is to become one with your suffering. Own it, control it, move on from it. Find the good in the bad, keep that, and discard the rest.
Okay, I admit it. I’m badly paraphrasing information from a web site I Googled and spent a whole ten minutes reading. I’m not trying to find religion, just trying to find a way to accept the losses without losing my desire to keep going.
By applying my crash course in Zen philosophy, I found my way. A way to stop making every single match the end all be all of my wrestling existence. A way to stop feeling sorry for myself and talking about giving up. There is some good in every loss, starting with the fact that not a single one of my losses was by any definition of the word easy for my opponents. That with each match I am getting better. I am making people remember my name, even if it is just as the guy you don’t want to have a bad day against or the guy who could be trouble some time down the road. Most importantly, I am gaining experience. Each match brings me one step closer to that breakthrough victory.
This doesn’t mean I won’t continue to approach every single match as a life or death affair. You need a fire burning in you to win a fight. That’s the attitude I need to win so it is the attitude I will continue to have. Pyrrhic victories only get you so far. Sooner or later you have to get some real victories too.
The TL;DR version for all you ADHD kids is I will be obsessed with getting better instead of obsessed with winning. As long as I keep improving, the wins will come.
Zen and the Art of Wrestling by Frank Lynn, available at bookstores and online soon. Avoid the rush and pre-order now.
My reverie is interrupted by the clanging of a door.
There you are, Tiger.
Indeed, here I am.
Daphne approaches, standing slightly behind me with her arms crossed. She isn’t dressed for a cold winter night but I am - in fact overdressed. I’ve learned to wear multiple layers so I offer her one of my jackets.
Whatcha’ doin’? Counting stars isn’t your style.
Waiting for a shooting star…
Oh… Is Austin Hayes coming by?
Funny. F*ck that little spot monkey. I mean a real shooting star, the kind you wish upon.
A wish? Is that your new strategy? Wish for a win?
Uh oh. Raised eyebrows. Hands on hips. A rosy flush on her cheeks that is not from make-up or the chilly air. It all adds up to that look of a disappointed Mom about to yell at the dog for pissing on the carpet.
It couldn’t hurt but no, that wouldn’t be my wish.
So what would it be?
I shouldn’t tell you because according to lore that would make the wish not come true but since I haven’t actually made it yet, I’d wish for patience. You know how hard it is for me to wait for Josh’s process to work so I can get back to my winning ways.
I know where this is going. You need to stop with the “one more loss and I’m done” crap. Everyone knows you’re not going anywhere after you signed that three year contract. Stop being a p*ssy.
Angry b*tch mode activated. Also, good friend dropping some truth on me that I already figured out for myself but hey, she doesn’t know that so go ahead and make me feel like a stupid sh*t. I’ll have to ask Dr. Nichols if that is positive or negative reinforcement.
I know she means well. She’s just late to the party this time.
Are you calling me a drama queen?
If the shoe fits…
The way her voice trails off tells me she has made her point and is done talking about it.
Point taken. Wanna’ grab a bite at the diner?
Can’t, I have plans. I’m here to deliver a message. Abraham would like to see you in his office. Sounded important so I wouldn’t keep him waiting too long if I were you.
Okay, thanks. Better go see what Abe has on his mind.
We both head back downstairs, Daphne off to whatever her evening plans are and me to the office of Abraham Templeton.
———
I don’t bother knocking on the office door. Abe is expecting me and it is as much my office as his now. He glances up from his laptop, his steely eyes reminding me that this man was once known as “The Hammer” in the boxing circuit. He wasn’t the greatest but much like me, you always knew you were in a fight after sharing the ring with him. He brings that same intensity to the way he runs Legacy Pro Wrestling.
Hello Frank. Please, sit, relax.
Daphne said you wanted to see me.
Yes I do. I think it is good news but I’m not sure you will.
I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It must be the tacos I ate. Except I didn’t eat any tacos today.
LPW is doing very well right now. We have a stacked roster. The syndicated show is getting picked up all over the northeast. We have our first iPPV coming up soon.
That all sounds like good news. What’s not to like?
Things are going so well that I’m looking to expand. I’m going to take a sabbatical to scout new talent in Europe, Mexico, and Japan.
Really?! That’s great. You didn’t happen to time this so you could escape the winter weather?
Anybody who doesn’t want to escape a typical Boston winter is either a polar bear or crazy. Abe is neither.
You caught me. The cold winters do a number on my joints.
I’m just messing with you. All the work you’ve done for Legacy… you deserve a break. Enjoy yourself.
I plan to. Here’s the part you may not like. I want you to run Legacy in my absence.
Oh hell no. I am a SILENT partner. I can’t be running Legacy and trying to win the Supreme Gauntlet at the same time.
Me? That could be a disaster.
I don’t think so. For one, you won’t have to worry about the day to day business side. I hired someone to handle it. All you have to do is sign whatever papers are put in front of you. I need you to manage the wrestlers, book the matches for the iPPV, and inspire the wrestlers to deliver our best show ever.
Is that all? Just “handle” a roster full of wrestlers. What did I do to piss you off?
I’m only half joking. Honestly Abe, your timing couldn’t be any worse. And yes, I actually made those annoying air quotes with my hands. I’ll hate myself later.
*laughs* I have faith in you. Plus, dealing with the Legacy roster might help you in your own career. You’ll learn how the management side works. You’ll gain new insight into how to deal with Lila Sleater and whoever the mysterious new WFWF owner is.
Hmmm, spend a day in Trace Demon’s ex-shoes? Learn how Lila’s brain works? Abe has a point. Plus it’s not permanent. I will be back to silent partner as soon as Abe returns.
When you put it like that, how can I say no? You’ve got yourself a head booker.
I knew I could count on you. Don’t worry, it shouldn’t take too much of your time so you can still work with Mr. Dean and give your best effort in the Supreme Gauntlet.
Abe picks up the phone, making use of the intercom to ask for someone named Sarah to come to his office.
I’d like you to meet our new business manager. I have to warn you, she might be a bit of a shock to you.
That gets me interested. Why a shock and particularly why “to me”?
Sarah must have been very close by because the office door opens. She enters the room and, as Abe predicted, I am shocked. I’m talking that “Oops I almost crapped my pants” kind of shock. My eyes go wide and my jaw hits the floor. Sarah is an attractive red headed woman in a smart but sexy business suit. And she looks exactly like Becky!
I try to speak only to have one hell of a brain fart.
Holy.
F*cking.
Sh*t.
Hello, nice to meet you too.
Sarcasm, yay. You try walking into a room to see a perfect twin of a dead boyfriend and see what you come up with. I think I did pretty damn good under the circumstances - I managed three words and only two were expletives.
Frank, meet Sarah Fairchild, recent graduate from Boston College with a masters in business administration. Sarah, this is Frank Lynn, co-owner of Legacy and WFWF wrestler.
Silence fills the room. I’m trying to regain my composure but it isn’t easy while staring into the face of my dead girlfriend. Sarah is understandably taken aback by my unusual greeting and looks nervously from Abe to me and back again. Abe is the only one capable of speech.
Sarah, please forgive Frank for his odd behavior. You bear a slight resemblance to someone close to him… someone who is no longer with us.
Slight resemblance? That jumpstarts my ability to speak.
Slight resemblance? She could be Becky’s twin. This is… um… well… err…
…going to take some getting used to?
Understatement of the year. I want to rip her clothes off right now and, well, use your imagination for the rest. Abe can watch or leave, I don’t care. I also want to run from the room screaming all the way to Dr. Nichols’ office for some immediate therapy. Maybe I should do both because if I don’t need therapy before screwing a ghost I will certainly need it after.
Goddamnit. Get a hold of yourself. This is just a coincidence. Be professional.
Oh. This is awkward. I’m sorry for your loss Mr. Lynn.
Thanks. I look forward to working with you.
Not really but I have to be polite. I thought I was over Becky but nope, Sarah’s presence proves that completely wrong.
Give it some time. I’m sure the two of you will make a great team. Legacy will be in good hands while I’m gone.
When do you leave and how long is your trip?
I leave in three days and will be gone at least six weeks, maybe longer if I find some good prospects. Now if you’ll excuse me, I still have some business to take care of before I turn the reigns over to the two of you.
And that is that. From silent partner to head booker. And I get to work with a ghost. Josh is not going to be pleased with all these distractions. Should I even tell him?
Boston, MA : Feb. 1, 2017
In case I didn’t make it abundantly clear earlier, I am not quitting. Not now, not ever. No need to rehash why since I covered that already. I will add that it wasn't a sudden light bulb moment of epiphany. It was the result of my therapist, my friends, and Josh hitting me over the head for weeks with advice combined with a late night cruising the internet. And possibly a little tequila. Or was it a lot of tequila?
Bottom line, forget all that failure is not an option crap I was preaching as the gospel according to Frank. Failure IS an option as long as you learn from it and do better the next time.
Josh Dean is a great example of my pseudo-zen philosophy. He is still here giving it his all, as determined as ever to be the best despite an entire year of setbacks. My recent losing streak pales in comparison. Josh’s attitude has rubbed off on me. Like Josh, I am here to stay so you better get used to me.
Since I am not going anywhere, it is up to me to establish what my position will be here in the WFWF. Honest assessment: at this point I am the bouncer standing outside the dance club deciding who gets to pass beyond the velvet ropes. If you beat me then you are a contender. If I beat you then you go to the back of the line. Every combat sport promotion has that guy who is the litmus test for new and rising talent. In the WFWF, I’m that guy. It may seem like a minor achievement barely worth noticing, but it is a big deal for someone just two years into pro wrestling with less than a year in the WFWF.
Guardian of the velvet ropes is not a bad role to have. You may not win any titles but you will have steady work with good pay doing something you enjoy. If you do it long enough you will be remembered, maybe not in the same sentence as the champions but still in the conversation.
But being a gatekeeper is not enough, at least not for me. I want to be inside the club enjoying the party, not standing outside checking names on a list. I’m trying to build a legacy here and that requires a foundation of winning.
Which brings me to another thing I’ve been thinking about: what else can I do to increase my chances of winning? Joshua Dean is an extremely talented wrestler and a great trainer but even he admitted that he has never beaten Trace Demon or David Brennan. Josh made me better but was it realistic to think he can make me good enough to beat someone he hasn’t?
Isn’t that a saying, Those who can’t do, teach? Is that a good or bad thing? How much can you learn from a teacher who can’t do?
Don’t get me wrong, I have faith in Josh. I appreciate everything he is doing for me. I will keep working with him because it feels right. I’m just thinking that perhaps I should expand my options.
Hey Tiger, you wanted to see me?
Sure did. Come in, take a load off.
Daphne saunters over to the leather couch. I move from behind the desk to one of the two chairs usually reserved for visitors.
I talked to Sarah earlier today. She seems to be on top of things. Is it getting any easier for you?
Nope, still weird. Really f*cking weird.
You’re doing okay so far.
I’m trying, for Abe, for Legacy… you know, taking one for the team.
All too true. Sarah is a huge distraction that I really should address somehow, eventually will have to. But for now I am ignoring it. The Nile runs right through this office.
Sarah is good for Legacy and therefore, good for me. Without her, I would have more work to do and less time to prepare for Dex. The Supreme Gauntlet remains the center of my attention.
Enough about Sarah. I have a proposition for you.
Really? Anything to do with my title defense at the iPPV?
Sorry, no. I don’t know who I will make the number one contender yet. I’ve narrowed it down to Bad Bertha or Crazy Jane Doe.
Where did they come up with these wrestling names and personas? Bad Bertha, the two hundred and fifty pound hard drinking, truck driving redneck bitch and Crazy Jane Doe, the damn near anorexic goth psycho chick. Both are more worried about their image than their actual skills and Daphne will eat them alive in the ring. I can’t help but think that Joe Bishop would not be amused. Damn it! Get out of my head!
Bertha or Jane? Not much of a challenge. Maybe I should give up the Women’s title and switch to wrestling with the men. If a teenage girl like Anna Ahriman can do it, so can I.
Not much evidence that Sammy’s girl can do it, not if her match against Bishop is any indication. If the WFWF wanted a female wrestler you would have been a far better choice. A decade of experience all over the world. A current reigning champion. You have it all going for you except for a famous name. Maybe you should change your last name to Kyzer, Malakai, Demon, or even Dean.
Daphne Dean, eh? Has a nice ring to it. She pauses briefly to make an all too girly daydreamy face which quickly becomes a dirty look aimed at me. My constant teasing her about Josh is getting on her nerves. Quit stalling. What is your proposition?
I reach over to the desk and retrieve a piece of paper with the WFWF logo on it, then hand it to Daphne. She glances over the document but I can’t wait for her to finish reading it all so I jump the gun.
That is a WFWF manager’s license. I want you to be my manager.
I pause to let it sink in as Daphne finishes scanning the document. No reaction yet. At least she didn’t immediately reject the idea.
You saw what happened against David Brennan. I had the match under control and could have won if I had just locked on a submission. But nooooooo, I couldn’t resist flying for the crowd and blew it. I did exactly what Josh warned me not to do.
And how does me being your manager help with that?
You will be in my corner to keep me wrestling according to the plan. Give me instructions. Jump on the apron and slap the stupid out of me if you have to.
I can tell she is interested but still not sold yet.
I won’t cheat for you. I won’t interfere to keep you from losing.
I don’t want you to. I might ask you to wear an eye patch and a glove wrapped in barbwire to the Dex match.
*giggles* You wouldn’t…
I remember how I toyed with LeeRoy Jenkins during the McLargehuge match. Sure, it was fun but did it tarnish my win? I don’t want that monkey on my back.
Nah, as much as it might be fun to f*ck with Dexter’s head, I wouldn’t do that. I’ve bent a few rules before but right now I need clean wins to counter my clean losses.
Good. If I do this, I can only be there when it doesn’t conflict with my own career. My title and my matches come first.
Understood. I wouldn’t ask you to, as both your friend and as an owner who needs his champion to represent Legacy.
Closer but still no sale.
I have to ask, are you really serious about this or are you throwing sh*t against the wall to see what works?
A nice way of asking me if I am getting desperate. She isn’t fully buying into my new philosophy that a loss isn’t the end of the world. This isn’t desperation, this is me learning from my loss to Brennan and trying to fix it.
Look Daphne, two years ago I walked through the Legacy doors an MMA fighter with a desire to be a pro wrestler, no experience, and no clue. It was you who helped me make the transition. You held my hand and guided me until I could walk on my own. Now that I am in the WFWF, it’s like starting over again and I need your help until I can walk on my own once more.
Be my manager. Make sure I don’t make stupid mistakes in the ring like I did against Brennan. Make sure I don’t lose my temper. Be there in case someone tries to play dirty. I know you can take care of yourself and watch my back if it comes to that.
Watch your back? Didn’t Josh promise to do that?
Yes, but he can’t come down to the ring with me. He has his own matches to worry about. If something goes down, he has to be watching a monitor backstage, see it happen, then run to the ring hopefully in time to stop it before the damage is done. That’s asking a lot of him.
I can see it, the softening of her features and a subtle change in posture. I sold her on the idea!
Okay, yes, I’ll do it. But you better listen to me when I give you instructions. You may be the big bad WFWF superstar but I am the more experienced wrestler and the Legacy Women’s champion.
Awesome! Maybe you can turn a managerial stint into your own WFWF contract.
Me wrestling in the WFWF?
Stranger things have happened. You could be the next Hugh Jass to shock the WFWF.
HEY! It’s not that big! *stifled laughter*
We try to stop it but fail miserably, reverting to ten year olds and losing control, laughter filling the office for several minutes. After we exhaust our supply of bad Hugh Jass puns and wipe the tears from our eyes, Daphne gets back to the possibility of her wrestling in the WFWF.
Never gave it much thought but yeah, I’d love to show Anna Ahriman that it takes more than a famous name to be a wrestler.
I’d pay to see you give her a piece of your mind. Lord knows I don’t like how she cut to the front of the line. That’s something only a Hugh Jass would do.
Sorry, I had one more pun left in me. That killed the conversation. Daphne left to get back to her training for either Bad Bertha or Crazy Jane while I studied videos of Dex’s matches. I probably shouldn’t have told her that her iPPV opponent would be one of those two. Our friendship gave her an unfair advantage. I wonder if Trace Demon ever felt any regret like this. Who am I kidding? That assh*le didn’t give two sh*ts about abusing his power to help his friends and hinder his enemies.
St. Louis, MO : Feb. 4, 2017
I haven’t said much about my next opponent: Dex. That’s because I don’t think there is much to say about him. Let me get the obligatory Dex insults out of the way.
HA HA HA HA HA
Paper champion
Spends more time in the hospital than in the ring
From what I’ve seen in my time here, the laughter is required when talking about you. It’s a reflex reaction shared by the entire locker room. Nobody takes you seriously, not even a teenage girl who had never stepped into a WFWF ring before night one of the gauntlet. Blame it on peer pressure but I had to do it too.
The paper champion is also obvious. I don’t have much to add to the whole you aren’t a champion if it is handed to you and then you promptly lose it argument. Honestly, I can’t hold it against you too much because at least you had a title. I haven’t so it is probably best for me to tread carefully on this one.
The hospital one may be new but in the past year you spent a lot of quality time with the doctors and nurses at hospitals all across the United States courtesy of Penny Shannon. I’m surprised she didn’t set you on fire after putting you through that table covered in thumbtacks. Oh the missed opportunity. That would have spiked the SuperBrawl replay buys for sure.
How am I supposed to take you seriously? Joshua Dean beat you so bad it was like you didn’t even try. Now it’s my turn. We’re both 0-1 in the tournament. After this match, one of us will be 0-2 and reduced to the spoiler role. The other will be 1-1 and still have a chance to go all the way. That is good motivation but I always try to find something more to give me the edge going into a match.
I took a long hard look at your career Dex. I found similarities in your career to what I have been through, enough similarities that it scares me to see where you are now. You are a crystal ball showing one possible future for me.
You were a promising young talent who made a big splash and everyone expected great things from you. You made the most of it and actually became the WFWF World Heavyweight Champion. It was given to you instead of being won in a match but how different is that from how Drakz had the title handed to him by Trace Demon, Lucas Crowe, and Michael Kyzer at the last three PPVs? You’re not the only one to have that belt handed to you so it’s all good.
Sadly, that was as good as it ever got for you. It’s been all downhill since. Seriously. I checked the record books. You lost to Dean, Shannon, Brennan, Nitta, Demon - twice, Schneider - twice, Bishop,… hell, the list is so long it is easier to name wrestlers you haven’t lost to. The name at the top of that list is Frank Lynn. I’m going to rectify that.
From world champion to one of the most epic losers in recent WFWF history. No wonder you’ve become a laughter inducing mid-card attraction and Penny Shannon’s favorite pin cushion.
I look at what I’ve done since my debut. I made a big splash at Black Hole Sun, got a lot of buzz, even got a shot at the tag titles in just my third match. It got really serious when I found myself in the Golden Opportunity scramble and came up a second short of winning at SuperBrawl. Then I capped it off by winning the Rookie of the Year and getting invited to the Supreme Gauntlet tournament. That is a pretty good year.
But my losses are starting to pile up: Whitner, Demon, Brennan. You might judge me by recent results and think my best days are already behind me. I disagree. I’m still learning and gaining valuable experience. You don’t seem to be learning anything from your numerous losses.
Way I see it, this match is a fork in the road of my career, each path leading to a very different future.
I could win. I could keep rising up the ranks until I am a main eventer contending for and winning championships. I could join the likes of Joshua Dean, Joe Bishop, David Brennan, Trace Demon, and Drakz. Wait, not like Drakz. How you doing ex-champ? If you can handle solid food I’ll have some delivered so you can eat my spotted dick. But I digress…
Or I could lose. I could fall further back into the mid-card. I could be an easy opponent for the big dogs to beat up on when they get tired of maiming each other. I could be the guy Lila sends all the new wrestlers in the ring against as a test of their potential. I could be the guy that fans use as a bathroom break in between matches they actually care about.
In other words, I could become you.
I don’t want to be you Dex. I don’t want to be the man whose name inspires uncontrollable fits of laughter. I don’t want wrestlers to see my name opposite theirs on the card and think “Sweet. An easy match.”
We are two ships passing in opposite directions. You are on your way down, Dex. I am on my way up. You could beat me and reverse both of our courses. I won’t let that happen. You’ve shown me one possible future and I reject it. The future I choose starts with me beating you.
I feel bad for you. Nobody who has put as much into this business as you should ever end up as a joke. But I will keep the running joke going by beating you because in the end, I’d much prefer you were the joke.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dex
Dex Who?
Exactly!
Who’s laughing now?
HA HA HA HA HA
Zen and the Art of Wrestling
featuring Frank Lynn
Just think about it.
The four most dangerous words in the English language. I honestly believe that. Not “fully loaded automatic rifle” or “asteroid heading for Earth” or “Donald Trump wins election”. Sure, those combinations of words are scary but not nearly as much as “just think about it”. Thinking is dangerous sh*t.
Einstein thought a lot. The result was the atom bomb. Hitler thought a lot. The result was World War II and the Holocaust. Marx thought a lot. The result was Joseph Stalin’s Soviet Union. L Ron Hubbard thought a lot. The result was scientology. The world might be a better place if certain people didn’t think so much.
So what thoughts did Joe Bishop stir in me when he said just think about it?
For starters, it made me wonder what the hell he was thinking coming to me for help. It’s no secret. I don’t think his crusade, revolution, war, whatever the f*ck he is calling it this week, will succeed. Change in the WFWF comes from the top down and if it happens it will start behind the closed doors of the board room. It is up to the new owner and Lila Sleater to finally take control of the asylum back from the inmates.
Just how much are the inmates in charge? Trace Demon has his iron clad “god status” contract, Brennan carries around a title belt that isn’t his, relics like Kyzer and Schneider come and go as they please, wrestlers who never had a match are invited to be part of the Supreme Gauntlet tournament, wrestlers get assaulted & mutilated at the company’s premiere PPV event, and that is just the tip of the iceberg! The WFWF is batsh*t crazy.
Good lord, when I go off like that I really do sound like Joe Bishop. No denying that a whole hell of lot goes on that rubs me the wrong way. As my mother used to say, the WFWF has a PhD in bullsh*t, PhD standing for piled higher and deeper.
Joe believes he can change all those things and more. He believes he can create a wrestling nirvana that is run as a meritocracy.
I don’t.
We, the wrestlers, are independent contractors with no union who work at the whims of the industry and the fans who support it. We have no voice. Our role is to show up when & where we are told to, fight who we are booked against, wrestle to the best of our abilities, put asses in the seats, and sell merchandise - mainly the last two. Wins and losses, while paramount to us, are irrelevant to management. We can be replaced. It happens all the time due to injuries, retirements, releases, and firings. Joe either doesn’t believe that or doesn’t care.
I do.
I respect Joe Bishop the man and the competitor. I wish him luck in his private war because he is going to need a sh*tload of it. I believe that he is wasting all of his energy on a lost cause. Hell, if he stopped trying to change the world and put all that effort into changing his place in the world this whole tournament might be a moot point. Joe would already be walking around as the WFWF champion and the rest of us would be killing each other for the chance to challenge him.
I wish Joe had never approached me. Because of him I did think about it. There are times when I can’t stop thinking about it despite always coming to the same conclusion: Joe Bishop is a dreamer in need of a wake-up call. The sooner the better before he goes from crusader to martyr.
Paging Dr. Demon. Reality Checkostomy in Group A. STAT.
Joe Bishop’s proposal is a distraction I don’t need, especially given what is going on at Legacy. (Sorry, getting ahead of myself. Be patient.) I had zero distractions before night one and I lost to David f’n Brennan. How much better will I do against Dex on night two with all of these distractions? If I am to win the Supreme Gauntlet, it starts by winning my next match. If I am to earn the respect of the locker room that I so badly want, it starts by winning my next match.
Simply put, I have to focus on my next match. Not the last one against Brennan nor the next ones against Josh and Ante. Dex is all that matters. No distractions allowed.
Well damn, I had more to say about that particular train of thought than I thought. But that wasn’t the only train traveling the tracks of my cerebrum. Sorry Joe Bishop, as intriguing as our conversation was it only occupied a small part of my time.
What else have I been thinking about?
Losing. Quitting. The NFL Playoffs.
Mostly losing and quitting but as long as the Patriots are still playing I will be thinking about football on Sundays.
Boston, MA : Jan. 26, 2017
The stars are already out in force despite the sun having set less than a half hour ago. The sky isn’t quite the kaleidoscopic vision of twinkling lights that you get in the country, far removed from the interference of Boston’s man-made aura. Still, tonight the sky is crystal clear, many more stars than usual easily visible to the naked eye. It is both calming and humbling to sit and stare at them. I can use the calming, the humbling not so much as I’ve had enough of that lately.
I’m here on the roof of the Legacy facilities cooling down from yet another long workout as I get ready for Dex. You might think I’m on the roof feeling sorry for myself, wallowing in self pity that no matter what I do I just can’t get the job done and night two of the tournament will be no different. And yes, there is a certain measure of disappointment causing the melancholic state of being that brought me to the roof for some stargazing and soul searching.
I lost to David f’n Brennan on night one of the tournament. That’s three in a row, officially a losing streak. My Rookie of the Year award is getting tarnished. My chances of winning the tournament are almost zero now, not that anyone gave me much more than a zero chance to begin with.
I could still win it if I pull an Aaron Rodgers and run the table but I’m not holding my breath on that. A major reason Rodgers got as far as he did is that he has been there, done that - remember “R-E-L-A-X relax”? Experience is the greatest tool of all in any endeavor including the NFL and the WFWF.
And that is why, with apologies to the greatest quarterback to walk God’s green Earth - Tom Brady (don’t disagree with me, it makes you look stupid), I am following Rodgers’ advice. R-E-L-A-X.
Of course, being the almost manic always angry fighter that I am, I needed to research how to relax which led me to Zen. A basic precept of Zen is that life is suffering but there is a way to leave the suffering behind to find true happiness. That way is to become one with your suffering. Own it, control it, move on from it. Find the good in the bad, keep that, and discard the rest.
Okay, I admit it. I’m badly paraphrasing information from a web site I Googled and spent a whole ten minutes reading. I’m not trying to find religion, just trying to find a way to accept the losses without losing my desire to keep going.
By applying my crash course in Zen philosophy, I found my way. A way to stop making every single match the end all be all of my wrestling existence. A way to stop feeling sorry for myself and talking about giving up. There is some good in every loss, starting with the fact that not a single one of my losses was by any definition of the word easy for my opponents. That with each match I am getting better. I am making people remember my name, even if it is just as the guy you don’t want to have a bad day against or the guy who could be trouble some time down the road. Most importantly, I am gaining experience. Each match brings me one step closer to that breakthrough victory.
This doesn’t mean I won’t continue to approach every single match as a life or death affair. You need a fire burning in you to win a fight. That’s the attitude I need to win so it is the attitude I will continue to have. Pyrrhic victories only get you so far. Sooner or later you have to get some real victories too.
The TL;DR version for all you ADHD kids is I will be obsessed with getting better instead of obsessed with winning. As long as I keep improving, the wins will come.
Zen and the Art of Wrestling by Frank Lynn, available at bookstores and online soon. Avoid the rush and pre-order now.
My reverie is interrupted by the clanging of a door.
There you are, Tiger.
Indeed, here I am.
Daphne approaches, standing slightly behind me with her arms crossed. She isn’t dressed for a cold winter night but I am - in fact overdressed. I’ve learned to wear multiple layers so I offer her one of my jackets.
Whatcha’ doin’? Counting stars isn’t your style.
Waiting for a shooting star…
Oh… Is Austin Hayes coming by?
Funny. F*ck that little spot monkey. I mean a real shooting star, the kind you wish upon.
A wish? Is that your new strategy? Wish for a win?
Uh oh. Raised eyebrows. Hands on hips. A rosy flush on her cheeks that is not from make-up or the chilly air. It all adds up to that look of a disappointed Mom about to yell at the dog for pissing on the carpet.
It couldn’t hurt but no, that wouldn’t be my wish.
So what would it be?
I shouldn’t tell you because according to lore that would make the wish not come true but since I haven’t actually made it yet, I’d wish for patience. You know how hard it is for me to wait for Josh’s process to work so I can get back to my winning ways.
I know where this is going. You need to stop with the “one more loss and I’m done” crap. Everyone knows you’re not going anywhere after you signed that three year contract. Stop being a p*ssy.
Angry b*tch mode activated. Also, good friend dropping some truth on me that I already figured out for myself but hey, she doesn’t know that so go ahead and make me feel like a stupid sh*t. I’ll have to ask Dr. Nichols if that is positive or negative reinforcement.
I know she means well. She’s just late to the party this time.
Are you calling me a drama queen?
If the shoe fits…
The way her voice trails off tells me she has made her point and is done talking about it.
Point taken. Wanna’ grab a bite at the diner?
Can’t, I have plans. I’m here to deliver a message. Abraham would like to see you in his office. Sounded important so I wouldn’t keep him waiting too long if I were you.
Okay, thanks. Better go see what Abe has on his mind.
We both head back downstairs, Daphne off to whatever her evening plans are and me to the office of Abraham Templeton.
———
I don’t bother knocking on the office door. Abe is expecting me and it is as much my office as his now. He glances up from his laptop, his steely eyes reminding me that this man was once known as “The Hammer” in the boxing circuit. He wasn’t the greatest but much like me, you always knew you were in a fight after sharing the ring with him. He brings that same intensity to the way he runs Legacy Pro Wrestling.
Hello Frank. Please, sit, relax.
Daphne said you wanted to see me.
Yes I do. I think it is good news but I’m not sure you will.
I get a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It must be the tacos I ate. Except I didn’t eat any tacos today.
LPW is doing very well right now. We have a stacked roster. The syndicated show is getting picked up all over the northeast. We have our first iPPV coming up soon.
That all sounds like good news. What’s not to like?
Things are going so well that I’m looking to expand. I’m going to take a sabbatical to scout new talent in Europe, Mexico, and Japan.
Really?! That’s great. You didn’t happen to time this so you could escape the winter weather?
Anybody who doesn’t want to escape a typical Boston winter is either a polar bear or crazy. Abe is neither.
You caught me. The cold winters do a number on my joints.
I’m just messing with you. All the work you’ve done for Legacy… you deserve a break. Enjoy yourself.
I plan to. Here’s the part you may not like. I want you to run Legacy in my absence.
Oh hell no. I am a SILENT partner. I can’t be running Legacy and trying to win the Supreme Gauntlet at the same time.
Me? That could be a disaster.
I don’t think so. For one, you won’t have to worry about the day to day business side. I hired someone to handle it. All you have to do is sign whatever papers are put in front of you. I need you to manage the wrestlers, book the matches for the iPPV, and inspire the wrestlers to deliver our best show ever.
Is that all? Just “handle” a roster full of wrestlers. What did I do to piss you off?
I’m only half joking. Honestly Abe, your timing couldn’t be any worse. And yes, I actually made those annoying air quotes with my hands. I’ll hate myself later.
*laughs* I have faith in you. Plus, dealing with the Legacy roster might help you in your own career. You’ll learn how the management side works. You’ll gain new insight into how to deal with Lila Sleater and whoever the mysterious new WFWF owner is.
Hmmm, spend a day in Trace Demon’s ex-shoes? Learn how Lila’s brain works? Abe has a point. Plus it’s not permanent. I will be back to silent partner as soon as Abe returns.
When you put it like that, how can I say no? You’ve got yourself a head booker.
I knew I could count on you. Don’t worry, it shouldn’t take too much of your time so you can still work with Mr. Dean and give your best effort in the Supreme Gauntlet.
Abe picks up the phone, making use of the intercom to ask for someone named Sarah to come to his office.
I’d like you to meet our new business manager. I have to warn you, she might be a bit of a shock to you.
That gets me interested. Why a shock and particularly why “to me”?
Sarah must have been very close by because the office door opens. She enters the room and, as Abe predicted, I am shocked. I’m talking that “Oops I almost crapped my pants” kind of shock. My eyes go wide and my jaw hits the floor. Sarah is an attractive red headed woman in a smart but sexy business suit. And she looks exactly like Becky!
I try to speak only to have one hell of a brain fart.
Holy.
F*cking.
Sh*t.
Hello, nice to meet you too.
Sarcasm, yay. You try walking into a room to see a perfect twin of a dead boyfriend and see what you come up with. I think I did pretty damn good under the circumstances - I managed three words and only two were expletives.
Frank, meet Sarah Fairchild, recent graduate from Boston College with a masters in business administration. Sarah, this is Frank Lynn, co-owner of Legacy and WFWF wrestler.
Silence fills the room. I’m trying to regain my composure but it isn’t easy while staring into the face of my dead girlfriend. Sarah is understandably taken aback by my unusual greeting and looks nervously from Abe to me and back again. Abe is the only one capable of speech.
Sarah, please forgive Frank for his odd behavior. You bear a slight resemblance to someone close to him… someone who is no longer with us.
Slight resemblance? That jumpstarts my ability to speak.
Slight resemblance? She could be Becky’s twin. This is… um… well… err…
…going to take some getting used to?
Understatement of the year. I want to rip her clothes off right now and, well, use your imagination for the rest. Abe can watch or leave, I don’t care. I also want to run from the room screaming all the way to Dr. Nichols’ office for some immediate therapy. Maybe I should do both because if I don’t need therapy before screwing a ghost I will certainly need it after.
Goddamnit. Get a hold of yourself. This is just a coincidence. Be professional.
Oh. This is awkward. I’m sorry for your loss Mr. Lynn.
Thanks. I look forward to working with you.
Not really but I have to be polite. I thought I was over Becky but nope, Sarah’s presence proves that completely wrong.
Give it some time. I’m sure the two of you will make a great team. Legacy will be in good hands while I’m gone.
When do you leave and how long is your trip?
I leave in three days and will be gone at least six weeks, maybe longer if I find some good prospects. Now if you’ll excuse me, I still have some business to take care of before I turn the reigns over to the two of you.
And that is that. From silent partner to head booker. And I get to work with a ghost. Josh is not going to be pleased with all these distractions. Should I even tell him?
Boston, MA : Feb. 1, 2017
In case I didn’t make it abundantly clear earlier, I am not quitting. Not now, not ever. No need to rehash why since I covered that already. I will add that it wasn't a sudden light bulb moment of epiphany. It was the result of my therapist, my friends, and Josh hitting me over the head for weeks with advice combined with a late night cruising the internet. And possibly a little tequila. Or was it a lot of tequila?
Bottom line, forget all that failure is not an option crap I was preaching as the gospel according to Frank. Failure IS an option as long as you learn from it and do better the next time.
Josh Dean is a great example of my pseudo-zen philosophy. He is still here giving it his all, as determined as ever to be the best despite an entire year of setbacks. My recent losing streak pales in comparison. Josh’s attitude has rubbed off on me. Like Josh, I am here to stay so you better get used to me.
Since I am not going anywhere, it is up to me to establish what my position will be here in the WFWF. Honest assessment: at this point I am the bouncer standing outside the dance club deciding who gets to pass beyond the velvet ropes. If you beat me then you are a contender. If I beat you then you go to the back of the line. Every combat sport promotion has that guy who is the litmus test for new and rising talent. In the WFWF, I’m that guy. It may seem like a minor achievement barely worth noticing, but it is a big deal for someone just two years into pro wrestling with less than a year in the WFWF.
Guardian of the velvet ropes is not a bad role to have. You may not win any titles but you will have steady work with good pay doing something you enjoy. If you do it long enough you will be remembered, maybe not in the same sentence as the champions but still in the conversation.
But being a gatekeeper is not enough, at least not for me. I want to be inside the club enjoying the party, not standing outside checking names on a list. I’m trying to build a legacy here and that requires a foundation of winning.
Which brings me to another thing I’ve been thinking about: what else can I do to increase my chances of winning? Joshua Dean is an extremely talented wrestler and a great trainer but even he admitted that he has never beaten Trace Demon or David Brennan. Josh made me better but was it realistic to think he can make me good enough to beat someone he hasn’t?
Isn’t that a saying, Those who can’t do, teach? Is that a good or bad thing? How much can you learn from a teacher who can’t do?
Don’t get me wrong, I have faith in Josh. I appreciate everything he is doing for me. I will keep working with him because it feels right. I’m just thinking that perhaps I should expand my options.
Hey Tiger, you wanted to see me?
Sure did. Come in, take a load off.
Daphne saunters over to the leather couch. I move from behind the desk to one of the two chairs usually reserved for visitors.
I talked to Sarah earlier today. She seems to be on top of things. Is it getting any easier for you?
Nope, still weird. Really f*cking weird.
You’re doing okay so far.
I’m trying, for Abe, for Legacy… you know, taking one for the team.
All too true. Sarah is a huge distraction that I really should address somehow, eventually will have to. But for now I am ignoring it. The Nile runs right through this office.
Sarah is good for Legacy and therefore, good for me. Without her, I would have more work to do and less time to prepare for Dex. The Supreme Gauntlet remains the center of my attention.
Enough about Sarah. I have a proposition for you.
Really? Anything to do with my title defense at the iPPV?
Sorry, no. I don’t know who I will make the number one contender yet. I’ve narrowed it down to Bad Bertha or Crazy Jane Doe.
Where did they come up with these wrestling names and personas? Bad Bertha, the two hundred and fifty pound hard drinking, truck driving redneck bitch and Crazy Jane Doe, the damn near anorexic goth psycho chick. Both are more worried about their image than their actual skills and Daphne will eat them alive in the ring. I can’t help but think that Joe Bishop would not be amused. Damn it! Get out of my head!
Bertha or Jane? Not much of a challenge. Maybe I should give up the Women’s title and switch to wrestling with the men. If a teenage girl like Anna Ahriman can do it, so can I.
Not much evidence that Sammy’s girl can do it, not if her match against Bishop is any indication. If the WFWF wanted a female wrestler you would have been a far better choice. A decade of experience all over the world. A current reigning champion. You have it all going for you except for a famous name. Maybe you should change your last name to Kyzer, Malakai, Demon, or even Dean.
Daphne Dean, eh? Has a nice ring to it. She pauses briefly to make an all too girly daydreamy face which quickly becomes a dirty look aimed at me. My constant teasing her about Josh is getting on her nerves. Quit stalling. What is your proposition?
I reach over to the desk and retrieve a piece of paper with the WFWF logo on it, then hand it to Daphne. She glances over the document but I can’t wait for her to finish reading it all so I jump the gun.
That is a WFWF manager’s license. I want you to be my manager.
I pause to let it sink in as Daphne finishes scanning the document. No reaction yet. At least she didn’t immediately reject the idea.
You saw what happened against David Brennan. I had the match under control and could have won if I had just locked on a submission. But nooooooo, I couldn’t resist flying for the crowd and blew it. I did exactly what Josh warned me not to do.
And how does me being your manager help with that?
You will be in my corner to keep me wrestling according to the plan. Give me instructions. Jump on the apron and slap the stupid out of me if you have to.
I can tell she is interested but still not sold yet.
I won’t cheat for you. I won’t interfere to keep you from losing.
I don’t want you to. I might ask you to wear an eye patch and a glove wrapped in barbwire to the Dex match.
*giggles* You wouldn’t…
I remember how I toyed with LeeRoy Jenkins during the McLargehuge match. Sure, it was fun but did it tarnish my win? I don’t want that monkey on my back.
Nah, as much as it might be fun to f*ck with Dexter’s head, I wouldn’t do that. I’ve bent a few rules before but right now I need clean wins to counter my clean losses.
Good. If I do this, I can only be there when it doesn’t conflict with my own career. My title and my matches come first.
Understood. I wouldn’t ask you to, as both your friend and as an owner who needs his champion to represent Legacy.
Closer but still no sale.
I have to ask, are you really serious about this or are you throwing sh*t against the wall to see what works?
A nice way of asking me if I am getting desperate. She isn’t fully buying into my new philosophy that a loss isn’t the end of the world. This isn’t desperation, this is me learning from my loss to Brennan and trying to fix it.
Look Daphne, two years ago I walked through the Legacy doors an MMA fighter with a desire to be a pro wrestler, no experience, and no clue. It was you who helped me make the transition. You held my hand and guided me until I could walk on my own. Now that I am in the WFWF, it’s like starting over again and I need your help until I can walk on my own once more.
Be my manager. Make sure I don’t make stupid mistakes in the ring like I did against Brennan. Make sure I don’t lose my temper. Be there in case someone tries to play dirty. I know you can take care of yourself and watch my back if it comes to that.
Watch your back? Didn’t Josh promise to do that?
Yes, but he can’t come down to the ring with me. He has his own matches to worry about. If something goes down, he has to be watching a monitor backstage, see it happen, then run to the ring hopefully in time to stop it before the damage is done. That’s asking a lot of him.
I can see it, the softening of her features and a subtle change in posture. I sold her on the idea!
Okay, yes, I’ll do it. But you better listen to me when I give you instructions. You may be the big bad WFWF superstar but I am the more experienced wrestler and the Legacy Women’s champion.
Awesome! Maybe you can turn a managerial stint into your own WFWF contract.
Me wrestling in the WFWF?
Stranger things have happened. You could be the next Hugh Jass to shock the WFWF.
HEY! It’s not that big! *stifled laughter*
We try to stop it but fail miserably, reverting to ten year olds and losing control, laughter filling the office for several minutes. After we exhaust our supply of bad Hugh Jass puns and wipe the tears from our eyes, Daphne gets back to the possibility of her wrestling in the WFWF.
Never gave it much thought but yeah, I’d love to show Anna Ahriman that it takes more than a famous name to be a wrestler.
I’d pay to see you give her a piece of your mind. Lord knows I don’t like how she cut to the front of the line. That’s something only a Hugh Jass would do.
Sorry, I had one more pun left in me. That killed the conversation. Daphne left to get back to her training for either Bad Bertha or Crazy Jane while I studied videos of Dex’s matches. I probably shouldn’t have told her that her iPPV opponent would be one of those two. Our friendship gave her an unfair advantage. I wonder if Trace Demon ever felt any regret like this. Who am I kidding? That assh*le didn’t give two sh*ts about abusing his power to help his friends and hinder his enemies.
St. Louis, MO : Feb. 4, 2017
I haven’t said much about my next opponent: Dex. That’s because I don’t think there is much to say about him. Let me get the obligatory Dex insults out of the way.
HA HA HA HA HA
Paper champion
Spends more time in the hospital than in the ring
From what I’ve seen in my time here, the laughter is required when talking about you. It’s a reflex reaction shared by the entire locker room. Nobody takes you seriously, not even a teenage girl who had never stepped into a WFWF ring before night one of the gauntlet. Blame it on peer pressure but I had to do it too.
The paper champion is also obvious. I don’t have much to add to the whole you aren’t a champion if it is handed to you and then you promptly lose it argument. Honestly, I can’t hold it against you too much because at least you had a title. I haven’t so it is probably best for me to tread carefully on this one.
The hospital one may be new but in the past year you spent a lot of quality time with the doctors and nurses at hospitals all across the United States courtesy of Penny Shannon. I’m surprised she didn’t set you on fire after putting you through that table covered in thumbtacks. Oh the missed opportunity. That would have spiked the SuperBrawl replay buys for sure.
How am I supposed to take you seriously? Joshua Dean beat you so bad it was like you didn’t even try. Now it’s my turn. We’re both 0-1 in the tournament. After this match, one of us will be 0-2 and reduced to the spoiler role. The other will be 1-1 and still have a chance to go all the way. That is good motivation but I always try to find something more to give me the edge going into a match.
I took a long hard look at your career Dex. I found similarities in your career to what I have been through, enough similarities that it scares me to see where you are now. You are a crystal ball showing one possible future for me.
You were a promising young talent who made a big splash and everyone expected great things from you. You made the most of it and actually became the WFWF World Heavyweight Champion. It was given to you instead of being won in a match but how different is that from how Drakz had the title handed to him by Trace Demon, Lucas Crowe, and Michael Kyzer at the last three PPVs? You’re not the only one to have that belt handed to you so it’s all good.
Sadly, that was as good as it ever got for you. It’s been all downhill since. Seriously. I checked the record books. You lost to Dean, Shannon, Brennan, Nitta, Demon - twice, Schneider - twice, Bishop,… hell, the list is so long it is easier to name wrestlers you haven’t lost to. The name at the top of that list is Frank Lynn. I’m going to rectify that.
From world champion to one of the most epic losers in recent WFWF history. No wonder you’ve become a laughter inducing mid-card attraction and Penny Shannon’s favorite pin cushion.
I look at what I’ve done since my debut. I made a big splash at Black Hole Sun, got a lot of buzz, even got a shot at the tag titles in just my third match. It got really serious when I found myself in the Golden Opportunity scramble and came up a second short of winning at SuperBrawl. Then I capped it off by winning the Rookie of the Year and getting invited to the Supreme Gauntlet tournament. That is a pretty good year.
But my losses are starting to pile up: Whitner, Demon, Brennan. You might judge me by recent results and think my best days are already behind me. I disagree. I’m still learning and gaining valuable experience. You don’t seem to be learning anything from your numerous losses.
Way I see it, this match is a fork in the road of my career, each path leading to a very different future.
I could win. I could keep rising up the ranks until I am a main eventer contending for and winning championships. I could join the likes of Joshua Dean, Joe Bishop, David Brennan, Trace Demon, and Drakz. Wait, not like Drakz. How you doing ex-champ? If you can handle solid food I’ll have some delivered so you can eat my spotted dick. But I digress…
Or I could lose. I could fall further back into the mid-card. I could be an easy opponent for the big dogs to beat up on when they get tired of maiming each other. I could be the guy Lila sends all the new wrestlers in the ring against as a test of their potential. I could be the guy that fans use as a bathroom break in between matches they actually care about.
In other words, I could become you.
I don’t want to be you Dex. I don’t want to be the man whose name inspires uncontrollable fits of laughter. I don’t want wrestlers to see my name opposite theirs on the card and think “Sweet. An easy match.”
We are two ships passing in opposite directions. You are on your way down, Dex. I am on my way up. You could beat me and reverse both of our courses. I won’t let that happen. You’ve shown me one possible future and I reject it. The future I choose starts with me beating you.
I feel bad for you. Nobody who has put as much into this business as you should ever end up as a joke. But I will keep the running joke going by beating you because in the end, I’d much prefer you were the joke.
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dex
Dex Who?
Exactly!
Who’s laughing now?
HA HA HA HA HA