I'm a Bobby Heenan Guy's Official Classic Reviews Thread

WCW Uncensored 1996

Your hosts-Tony Schiavone,Bobby Heenan and Dusty Rhodes

Konan vs Eddie Guerrero for the WCW US Title- Both guys are new to the scene here as they both came over from ECW almost as the same time as each other. Not a bad match as they were doing stuff that was different from the norm like the lucha libre stuff. The finish is weird though with Eddie going for a leapfrog with Konan not ducking which then Eddie gets pretty much low blowed to allow Konan to win and retain. Definitely looked like a botch to me. Anyway decent opener here that was slow at first but really picked up as it went on.

Lord Steven Regal vs The Belfast Bruiser- My favorite match of the night here as these two beat the tar out of each other for nearly 20 minutes. The finish comes when Robert Eaton and Squire Dave Taylor come in to attack The Bruiser leading to a DQ on a PPV called UNCENSORED!! These two would have another very physical match the following month on Nitro in  a parking lot brawl match. Lame finish aside check this one out as it's stiff as all hell.

Col. Parker vs Madusa- This feud stems from when Parker was going to marry Sister Sherri on the Clash in Vegas but Madusa steps in with it then being revealed she was Parker's little ''fried pie''. Parker with the win after interference from Dick Slater. This was four minutes of torture with this being the start of the downfall of the whole PPV. Horrible stuff here.

Booty Man vs DDP- Johnny B. Badd was feuding with DDP during this time but left the company right before this after refusing to be in a love angle with Page's wife at the time Kimberly. So we get the Booty Man aka Brutus Beefcake who just turned babyface after leaving the DOD after being a mole that whole time apparently. Terrible match here as it went about 16 minutes and was boring for the most part. Booty with the win after Kimberly slaps Page with then him hitting a high knee for the win. They share a kiss post match which would turn her into the ''Booty Babe'' for a little bit. Yeah let's move on.

The Giant vs Loch Ness for a shot at the WCW World Title- Thank God this was only 2 and half minutes long. Giant at one point does take a good bump to the outside but that's all I can give this one. Giant with the win after hitting a legdrop...BROTHER!!!! He would win the belt for a 2nd time after beating Flair right after this.

LOD vs Sting/Booker T in a Chicago Street Fight- Prior to the match Sting tells Booker if they win he'll give Harlem Heat a shot at the belts. Also I gotta ask this, Why do we have a Chicago street fight in Mississippi of all places? Just a straight up brawl here that went a full half hour. At one point Animal and Booker go backstage to see Luger and Stevie Ray just standing there doing nothing when Luger attacks Animal with then him helping Heat tape him up to a steel beam. The finish comes when Stevie Ray comes down and nails Hawk in the back allowing Booker to get the win. This match was good for what it was which was an all out brawl but the thing that brings it way down is the length of it. If they cut it down it would've been way more tolerable.

Hulk Hogan/Randy Savage vs The Alliance to end Hulkamania: Ric Flair,Arn Anderson, Meng,Barbarian,Kevin Sullivan,Lex Luger,Z-Gangsta and The Ultimate Solution in ''Doomsday Cage match''- Yep here we are humanoids at the match I've been dreading since going back and reviewing these old shows. This is like the old Tower of Doom cage they used back at GAB 88. Ok so we start at the very top part of it which is them against Flair/Arn. They are so high up there how the hell can the fans in attendance even see anything?!?! After some boring fighting with some powder thrown in they get down the 2nd tier of the cage which holds Luger,Sully,Meng and Barbarian. Again more boring fighting with the heels getting the advantage but it doesn't take long before the babyfaces come back and take control of the match which is ridiculous since  during this point of the match it's 6 on 2!! At one point Hogan tries to kick Sullivan off the whole damn thing. They then go down to the bottom and escape the damn thing but NOPE they aren't the winners as Gangsta and Solution come out to attack and throw em back in the cage. My GOD this is torture. Booty Man comes in with frying pans of all things with the babyfaces hitting everybody in sight with em in again another ridiculous moment. The finish to this mess comes after Luger ''accidently'' hits Flair allowing Savage to get the pin to FINALLY end this. This is without question the most overbooked and ridiculous match I've ever seen in wrestling and that's saying a lot considering what Russo would do later on. People during this time were getting tired of Hogan and the same tired schtick that just a few months later we would get the most shocking heel turn of all time and something that changed the biz forever. This match though should never see the light of day again. Abomination I tell you!!!

Final Thoughts- Oh yeah this event is bad. Only matches I can recommend is the first 2 matches. After that it's all downhill with the main event REALLY standing out as bad. Please don't torture yourself with this show. Verdict-AVOID!

Next time on the classic reviews we'll head to the black hills of Sturgis South Dakota with Hog Wild 96!

Until next time...Stay Classic Humanoids.

Before we head into the main show I'll give a brief recap of the Saturday Night episode that aired right before this event per @anthony18's request.

Public Enemy over Dick Slater and Mike Enos, Konnan over Chavo Jr., Nasty Boys over High Voltage(Man were they terrible),Alex Wright over Bobby Eaton in less than a minute(Poor Bobby), Kevin Sullivan,Barbarian,Meng over Jim Powers,Mike Starr and Joe Gomez,Dave Taylor over Mr. JL,DDP over Renegade, and Arn Anderson over Hugh Morrus. No rating for any of these matches since they were all either really short or just squashes. They did hype up the main show good enough so points there. Now to the main show!!!

WCW Hog Wild 1996

Your hosts: Tony Schiavone,Bobby Heenan and Dusty Rhodes

Rey Mysterio Jr. vs Ultimo Dragon for the WCW CW Title- Great way to kick us off here with some high flying action. This is Dragon's WCW debut. Mike Tenay joins the booth to hype em up and gives us a good history lesson on his career up to this point. These two would instantly click so it's no wonder WCW would have more matches between these two in the coming months. Rey retains the belt after hitting a Springboard Hurricanrana. Good stuff here even though the biker crowd could care less which would be a theme for this events history.

Scott Norton vs Ice Train- Battle of Fire and Ice!! Terrible match here that went 5 minutes but felt longer. Norton with the win after a Fujiwara Armbar submission. Norton would join the NWO a  few months later which was a good move as he was doing nothing of note for a while.

We get a quick Ric Flair interview with him not being too concerned with the NWO. This forshadows War Games the following month.

Madusa vs Bull Nakano- Winner gets to smash their opponents motorcycle. Yeah this company I'll tell ya. Madusa with the win after lifting up her shoulder up from a back suplex. Check out their SSlam 95 match as it's way better than this. Madusa smashes up Bull's bike post match albeit in a sloppy way.

Chris Benoit vs Dean Malenko-Match of the night by far IMO. You got two great ring technicians here so you knew you were in for a treat. Not to mention how back and forth this was which also added to it.It does go almost a full 30 minutes but it's worth it. The match ends at first in a time limit draw but ref Nick Patrick saids we're going into OT! Match ends when Benoit rolls em up after a distraction from Woman and Miss Liz. Top notch match here humanoids that I highly recommend checking out if you're a fan of classic straight up wrestling. Absolutely phenomenal stuff here.

Harlem Heat vs Steiner Brothers for the WCW Tag Titles- Side note here: Bobby Heenan is definitely wasted here. Standard tag match here with both teams getting to showcase their stuff. Heat retain after Booker T hits Scott with Col Parker's cane. Again not a bad tag here but it did go a little long for my liking. Heat would hold on to the belts a few months until dropping em to Hall and Nash in the Fall.

Ric Flair vs Eddy Guerrero for the WCW US Title-Still weird seeing Flair with the US belt instead of Big Gold. Decent match here although there was a few botches. Still overall they blended well in the ring. Flair retains after locking in the Figure Four with some help from Woman. WOOOOOO!!! Again not bad here at all.

Scott Hall/Kevin Nash vs Sting/Lex Luger-Standard tag match here with the ending never in doubt as no way would the heels lose after forming the NWO just a month prior. Outsiders win after Luger tries to rack Hall when Patrick ''accidently'' breaks it up with Hall falling on top for the fast pin. This would kickstart Nick Patrick being the crooked ref for the NWO which would be revealed a few months later.

Giant vs Hollywood Hogan for the WCW World Title- Another side note: Heenan is beyond wasted here as for this whole match he doesn't say a word. This would be Hogan's 1st appearance in full Hollywood mode with the beard and all. This match is nothing to write home about as Hogan wins the belt(no shocker) in about 15 minuets after hitting Giant with the belt. The post match stuff is more memorable as Booty Man comes out looking to join the NWO only to get beaten down. He would resurface a few years later as ''The Disciple''. Hogan gets the infamous spray can and spray paints ''NWO'' on Big Gold to give it an iconic look. Giant would join the group not long after this to make this whole match pointless in the long run. Again not a very good main event but if you're an NWO fan the post match stuff is definitely for you. They did make em a big threat on this night so big points there as this angle would dominate the company for the next few years.

Final Thoughts- Way more good than bad here with the opener and Benoit/Malenko really standing out. Also with how great the NWO angle was during the beginning easily gives this PPV a passing grade. Verdict- Recommended

Next time on the classic reviews we'll head back to the extreme with ECW's November 2 Remember 1998!!

Until next time...Stay Classic Humanoids.

Sept 4, 2018 16:15:21 GMT -5 @anthony18 said:

I was going to ask if you thought Heenan was drunk and you pretty much answered during two match reviews. He didn't like working in wcw and with Schiavone. I liked the Madusa vs Nakano match and liked Madusa winning. I still don't understand why Benoit vs Malenko had to have a "double overtime".

Yeah the slurred speech was instant give away.

The double OT wasn't necessary but man the match was great from start to finish. Haven't watched it in a long time so I forgot how good it really was.

Coming soon...