Event Horizon RP: Baby's Got A Temper

I found this interesting. The concurrent plots of Mesh facing off against one of her heroes while dealing with personal issues worked for me.

I think the plot with the home-wrecker worked as it showed a different side of Mesh as she lost control but at the end it wrapped back around to her typical goody two shoes response that it was somehow her fault and she needed to apologize for it. It mirrored the LOL tweet after getting her face bashed in.

What I didn't like so much was Mesh's attitude towards the match, that just wrestling Penny was good enough for Mesh. I get that she's starstruck but I think there should have a bit more fire to BEAT Penny to show that Mesh really does deserve being mentioned in the same sentence as her idols. There has to be a point for her when simply wrestling someone isn't enough. I could see Kat taking a tough love approach to get more of that attitude out of Mesh. Mesh is a champion. Winning matters.

I'll be the contrarian - I thought this was perfect.

You, above all, have developed the most intricate, complex, and believable character that has actually found legs to stand on and hold their own, maybe since Frank Lynn or Ante Whitner. You established that much in that absolutely flawless scene between Mesh and her unaccepted step-mother. There's a mindset about this place that says that there's this fixed grid that everything needs to fit into - what RPs need to consist of, how characters need to behave, think, and react, and all sorts of interchangeable notions about what works and what doesn't - and it's all a load of bunk. You've really mastered the complexities of making Mesh a living, breathing entity with her own thoughts, quirks, concerns, and emotions, so much so that if you'd come out swinging with this target lock, dead set upon ousting this revered hero that you'd spent so much time establishing a complex for, it would almost certainly feel like a deviation from Mesh's core. It's fine to go forward and establish a champion's mindset with Mesh's newfound footing as a validated member of the roster, but it's equally imperative to maintain the essence of who she is, and in approaching Penny the way you did, I think you knocked that aspect out of the park.

I also wanted to commend you on your masterful use of the archives to fill your narrative. That practice has seen some writers here fall flat on their asses in finding bits and pieces to gravitate toward without a mind for the implications that followed prior to their arrival, but you've weaved yourself into the background of this place's history so cleverly that the end result leaves you coming off as more tenured and established that you might be yet. That's an excellent tactic that you've established.

This was great. I'm slowly chipping away at the reads, but this really sets a bar for Mike to reach. Given his longstanding history here, you deserve the utmost praise for that.

This really shouldn't be a concern when you do it like you did. I have no problem with someone quoting directly from past shows because hey, why re-invent the wheel? Plus, the way you used them highlighted a previously unseen aspect from the events involving Mesh, thus shedding new light that has a direct bearing on your RP.  It was nicely done.  Yet another example of following your instincts because they're usually on point.

I...didn't, actually. That was my mistake.

Okies, I've been going back and forth with this rp for the last week and I think this piece is personally adorable. You perfectly conveyed where Mesh is in her life right now and how it connected to a challenge in the shape of Penny, and how she was more star struck being in the ring with her than actually beating her. While I do think it did get in the way of significant character growth (I'll get to that later), I think you did at an amazing job of structuring Mesh's story around Penny's career in the WFWF.



Structure is really a very delicate thing to master, so I think this is a really good sign of things to come as you continue to develop yourself as a writer and Mesh as a character. Story-wise and content-wise, this was a great piece. 

Now, when it comes to the monologue. I love how you write them out. It's direct, easy to read and with a lot of movement that comes through so naturally. I do wish though you were more aggressive in how you dealt with Penny. While you showed some aggression here and there, and your stance did align perfectly with the story you were telling here, I really wished you had an opening there that would have showed Mesh's aggression and her aspirations to be the best by conquering her heroes.

Overall, I thought this was such a charming and endearing piece. In some cases, on a selfish end, even flattering.  

Now, to this:


For starters, it's her now.

And second, in this instance: I didn't mind it at all because it was taking something from the show archives and using it to add a whole new later into the story. And yes, the two girls kissing would have been an automatic pass from me (it's Penny, after all). So that said, I understand why there wouldn't be a need for 

Normally, the best thing to do is ask about this is ask. The only instances when not getting writer-approval is alright, is when you've established a relationship with them. It's like with Josh, Trace, Rev, and Shawn. We've all worked inside and outside WF for so long, and on top of that, we all know each other so well personally. And with that comes with the trust that our respective characters would be handled well during a cameo. So there's really no need for approval since we have that relationship to begin with.

Seeing how things are, @mesh, this is something we'll develop for sure. 

It's all good! Love the piece. If anything, there are ways to work around a story and enhance the narrative and the scenes to forgo the need for a monologue at the end. Still, great work! Hope to work with you again soon!

So I read this after it was posted, I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first. As much as I am enjoy you, the handler, it has taken me a while to really get into Mesh. At first, it was a little hard for me to get behind the campiness of the character, which is by no means a shot at your writing ability. You are a really creative writer and you have something here that works for you. You write your character very well and you really know your voice as Mesh.

With that said, as I thought about this more and more I think this is probably my favorite rp of yours to date. CM Poor pretty much voiced the same opinion I have landed on. You are definitely deserving of the title you carry in regards to your ability. I know you won because Markw had to deal with real life, but despite that, you have stepped up.

Keep up the good work.