Post by Deleted on May 13, 2019 22:42:07 GMT -5
We see me, billy broom, and jenny eatign at a japanese restaurant. Were all ready for a good meal before the big superbrawl show and hopefilly get are minds off how big of a deal it is. Just a relaxing dinner …... or so we thought. The waiter hands us some dirty ass menus, like someones ass was actually on it. Its real dirty, is the point hear
“excuse me sir can we get some clean menus” I say
“oh sure right away sir”
the waiter runs off and comes back real fast with the same menus, just soaking wet
“uhh these are the same menus”
“no there not there fresh new”
'well I guess well just order”
I order some sushi but jenny decides not to
“do u really think we should trust the food of a place this bad??” hshe asks
“wuts the worst that could happen?”
'well, its your funeral. Anyway, are you excited for superbrawl”
“of cours. Nothing beats the biggest show of the year. Even im a little starstuck over a show that big”
“i know, but im worried” jenny said. “this is a dangerous match against a dangdrous dude. Can you really handle being in the ring with a guy like needles??”
“come on, you know me. Yeah, hes a nutcase and all that, and hes definitately got more experience than me iin something like this environment. But do u think for one second thats gonna stop me or slow me down? Not at all. This means a lot 2 me. Im gonna be fighting for you and your honor. And ill be damned if im gonna let a guy say anything about me, you or us. I may bleed and I may get beet up but dammit, im not gonna let him walk away thinking hes the better man. Im gonnna win and youre gonna be proud of me”
“im always proud of you”
I smiel back at her and eat my sushi. We then go back home and I lay down bc my tummy is hurting. We were gonna go see the avengers but iwas just not feeling good. So no spoilers please.Some time later im woken up by the phone ringing
The caller id on the celll phone says sanford, whoever the hell that is. I probably shouldnt answer it because of stranger danger but this number is in my ohone for whateverr reason. And sanford n son was pretty good show so maybe well talk abot that
'hello'
“hey napoleon where are you, we gotta get movin”
“whoose napoleon??? im billy”
“oh no you didnt take that weird stuff again did you”
now I don't know what the hell to do. Wait, what if I did tatke the weird stff and ive been napoleon the rest of my life??? now that would be a plot twist.take that, m night shyamalan
“nah man, im just messing with u:
'youre a funny guy, nap. Anyway the car for the hall of fame is on its way”
“hall of fame?? I htought they got rid of that'
“dont be silly napoleon. Wfwf would never do smthg stupid like that”
'do you think theyd award me the ham shank title too?'
“ok on 2nd thought, they would do something that stupid. Anyway car is coming so get your suit on”
“but . . .”
sanford hung up on me before I could say anything more. Well I guess he didnt really hang up persay since u dont hang up so much as press a button on a cell phone now but u get the idea. Luckily their was a suit in the closet bc I guess napoleon is a fancy guy. It was a double breated suit that even had little tassles on the shoulderpads
the car came and than I got to the arena where I tried to look for sanford. Its a little tough bc I dont know what he looks like It turns out sanford did run up to me. I know this because he said
'hey, its me sanford'
'sanford I need to talk to u about something.”
“sure, but hurryup. Youre induction is up next after jay mayhem”
“jay mayhem???”
'well; he did beat calvin lee once'
“anyway heres what I gotta tell you. Im not me”
'oh no, dont tell me ur king kraig again'
“no no, im billy broom. Somehow I woke up in napoleons body and I dont understand it. Im supposed to wrestle Needles at superbrawl in a hardcore match but I cant if im in this body
“needles??”
'yes, and if fully intend to kick his ass but I cant do if I im stuck in this very handosme body'
sanford wrests his hand on my shoulder
“look, I dont know wahts wrong with you today napoleon. Just go ahead and read the spech on the teleprompter and then we'l try to get ur head on straight afterwards”
“ok”
I didnt like this idea at all, but I didnt have much of choice. Then they called my name so I headed up on stage and just looked up at what the teleprompter said and read it
“thank you. It is an honor to be recongized as one of the greates in wfwf history, and as the true peoples champion. And theyre are so many people to thank. Sanford has always been the best assistant and partner you could hope for. And of course all my wfwf heroes. OBO isnpired me so much and I wanted to always be just like him. So thank you OBO. OBO taught me how to be a great hardcore wrestler and how to be much better than people like jake slash”
jake slash pops up out of nowhre from the crowd with a trash can full of weapons
“how dare you” he says “now I will finally have my revenge”
he hits me with a kendo stick but luckily im real tough so I kept coming at him. I hit him with a right and a left and he stumbles back. But hes still got all the weapons. So igot no choice but to chuck the entire podium at him and that sends him ass over teakettle. He manages to pick up the teakettle he just landed on hits me over the head with it. Butt I get one more chance as all the tea also spills near his feet and he slips on it
I can here the crowd chantingmy name “napoleon napoleon” now is my chance to finish him off. The stage looks so big and high but if I hit from up tehre itll be all over, just like itd be all over for needles. I climb to the very top and stair down at him, ready to drop the elbow
the crowd roars and yells
“dad are you okay??? you were making a lot of noise in here”
I open my eeys and somehow jenny is in front of me now. it looks like im back in my own room and everything is the same as it was before I became the verry handsome and debo-nair napoleon weisgarber. now it all makes a lot more sense, which is good because this is the ending and I should be wrapping things up
“sorry, I just had teh strangest dream. I was differente wrestler, this gy named napoleon.and I was getting inducted into the wfwf hall of fame and then a hardcore match broke out”
“that settles it, no more japanese food before you go to bed. Good night, dad”
“good night jenny. Good night sanford”
the bob newhart show music plays as we fade out
“excuse me sir can we get some clean menus” I say
“oh sure right away sir”
the waiter runs off and comes back real fast with the same menus, just soaking wet
“uhh these are the same menus”
“no there not there fresh new”
'well I guess well just order”
I order some sushi but jenny decides not to
“do u really think we should trust the food of a place this bad??” hshe asks
“wuts the worst that could happen?”
'well, its your funeral. Anyway, are you excited for superbrawl”
“of cours. Nothing beats the biggest show of the year. Even im a little starstuck over a show that big”
“i know, but im worried” jenny said. “this is a dangerous match against a dangdrous dude. Can you really handle being in the ring with a guy like needles??”
“come on, you know me. Yeah, hes a nutcase and all that, and hes definitately got more experience than me iin something like this environment. But do u think for one second thats gonna stop me or slow me down? Not at all. This means a lot 2 me. Im gonna be fighting for you and your honor. And ill be damned if im gonna let a guy say anything about me, you or us. I may bleed and I may get beet up but dammit, im not gonna let him walk away thinking hes the better man. Im gonnna win and youre gonna be proud of me”
“im always proud of you”
I smiel back at her and eat my sushi. We then go back home and I lay down bc my tummy is hurting. We were gonna go see the avengers but iwas just not feeling good. So no spoilers please.Some time later im woken up by the phone ringing
The caller id on the celll phone says sanford, whoever the hell that is. I probably shouldnt answer it because of stranger danger but this number is in my ohone for whateverr reason. And sanford n son was pretty good show so maybe well talk abot that
'hello'
“hey napoleon where are you, we gotta get movin”
“whoose napoleon??? im billy”
“oh no you didnt take that weird stuff again did you”
now I don't know what the hell to do. Wait, what if I did tatke the weird stff and ive been napoleon the rest of my life??? now that would be a plot twist.take that, m night shyamalan
“nah man, im just messing with u:
'youre a funny guy, nap. Anyway the car for the hall of fame is on its way”
“hall of fame?? I htought they got rid of that'
“dont be silly napoleon. Wfwf would never do smthg stupid like that”
'do you think theyd award me the ham shank title too?'
“ok on 2nd thought, they would do something that stupid. Anyway car is coming so get your suit on”
“but . . .”
sanford hung up on me before I could say anything more. Well I guess he didnt really hang up persay since u dont hang up so much as press a button on a cell phone now but u get the idea. Luckily their was a suit in the closet bc I guess napoleon is a fancy guy. It was a double breated suit that even had little tassles on the shoulderpads
the car came and than I got to the arena where I tried to look for sanford. Its a little tough bc I dont know what he looks like It turns out sanford did run up to me. I know this because he said
'hey, its me sanford'
'sanford I need to talk to u about something.”
“sure, but hurryup. Youre induction is up next after jay mayhem”
“jay mayhem???”
'well; he did beat calvin lee once'
“anyway heres what I gotta tell you. Im not me”
'oh no, dont tell me ur king kraig again'
“no no, im billy broom. Somehow I woke up in napoleons body and I dont understand it. Im supposed to wrestle Needles at superbrawl in a hardcore match but I cant if im in this body
“needles??”
'yes, and if fully intend to kick his ass but I cant do if I im stuck in this very handosme body'
sanford wrests his hand on my shoulder
“look, I dont know wahts wrong with you today napoleon. Just go ahead and read the spech on the teleprompter and then we'l try to get ur head on straight afterwards”
“ok”
I didnt like this idea at all, but I didnt have much of choice. Then they called my name so I headed up on stage and just looked up at what the teleprompter said and read it
“thank you. It is an honor to be recongized as one of the greates in wfwf history, and as the true peoples champion. And theyre are so many people to thank. Sanford has always been the best assistant and partner you could hope for. And of course all my wfwf heroes. OBO isnpired me so much and I wanted to always be just like him. So thank you OBO. OBO taught me how to be a great hardcore wrestler and how to be much better than people like jake slash”
jake slash pops up out of nowhre from the crowd with a trash can full of weapons
“how dare you” he says “now I will finally have my revenge”
he hits me with a kendo stick but luckily im real tough so I kept coming at him. I hit him with a right and a left and he stumbles back. But hes still got all the weapons. So igot no choice but to chuck the entire podium at him and that sends him ass over teakettle. He manages to pick up the teakettle he just landed on hits me over the head with it. Butt I get one more chance as all the tea also spills near his feet and he slips on it
I can here the crowd chantingmy name “napoleon napoleon” now is my chance to finish him off. The stage looks so big and high but if I hit from up tehre itll be all over, just like itd be all over for needles. I climb to the very top and stair down at him, ready to drop the elbow
the crowd roars and yells
“dad are you okay??? you were making a lot of noise in here”
I open my eeys and somehow jenny is in front of me now. it looks like im back in my own room and everything is the same as it was before I became the verry handsome and debo-nair napoleon weisgarber. now it all makes a lot more sense, which is good because this is the ending and I should be wrapping things up
“sorry, I just had teh strangest dream. I was differente wrestler, this gy named napoleon.and I was getting inducted into the wfwf hall of fame and then a hardcore match broke out”
“that settles it, no more japanese food before you go to bed. Good night, dad”
“good night jenny. Good night sanford”
the bob newhart show music plays as we fade out
ING YES! NAPOLEON WEISGARBER IS BACK! Will the King be joining you, my friend?
