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Post by vampiroporvida on Oct 19, 2020 12:56:50 GMT -5
Hello all, on this gloomiest of Mondays, a few days removed from turning a year older, I was thinking about how many people I have known for a swath of time, not all were friends, that seemingly don't remember me at all. It is a sad feeling to feel forgotten by people that played a role in a time in my life that I remember and hold importance to. I mean if you see them they can't place you, and something as simple as the errant happy holiday text/email isn't even met with a common response. It makes me wonder why I am forgotten, what did I do or not do to make that happen....how can I make a lasting great impression on others going forward?
I know I am not the only one that feels like this, and I am sure I have forgotten people in the same way, but I wish I didn't forget them.
I hope this post helps anyone else lament their feelings that feels easily forgetten, or invisible. 2020 is a really weird ride...
Much respect,
VPV
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Post by Valbroski on Oct 19, 2020 13:11:12 GMT -5
I would suggest working on not letting it bother you instead. I’m a very forgettable person myself and I kind have stopped giving a  . I know it’s easier said than done but it’s not practical to be hung up on the opinions of others in a case scenario like this. |
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Post by rkmo: 9 Month Warning on Oct 19, 2020 13:32:52 GMT -5
Funny, I've always sought to not be remembered.
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Post by Grumpyoldman on Oct 19, 2020 13:47:32 GMT -5
It happens to almost everyone. People get older, they drift apart from their friends & start their own lives & families. Today, most people are on socail media & might send a text saying "happy birthday" if it pops up. They almost never send a card.
Hell, I just turned 50 Friday & I only got text messages from my immediate family (and 2 members on here. Thank ya, boys.)
Don't let it bother you. Do you want to know when they'll remember you? When they need money or help moving.
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Post by Valbroski on Oct 19, 2020 14:00:29 GMT -5
Or you could start doing something that makes you stand out. Like talking in third person or wearing your underwear on the outside of your pants.
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Post by kennyw86v2 on Oct 19, 2020 14:43:56 GMT -5
I dont care about old classmates or casual friends or coworkers forgetting me. But I've always been bothered by people that played large roles in my life forgetting about me, even if they remember me and choose not to associate.
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Post by Scott! on Oct 19, 2020 15:19:12 GMT -5
I'm gonna be completely honest here, I can 100% relate to this. I had the same 2 best friends throughout my teenage years, all through school and into adulthood. When I was 15, I was diagnosed with a mental health condition that changed my life. My family at the time spoke to my friends mums on numerous occasions to keep them up to date on my progress or lack thereof at the time. I started to get better and I tried renewing contact, it fell flat. In the past 10 years I've seen them individually twice. That was it, I had serious trust issues after that and I felt like it was my fault and that I had changed into a person that wasn't socially acceptable to them. As I've grown up I've accepted that people move on, they have families, they have jobs. It happens, it sucks but it happens. I've met people since then that have been accepting of me and want to be in my life and that's whats important.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that you can't dwell on things, life goes on and you move on. Who you meet along the path can change, but you shouldn't have to change to fit in.
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Post by rowdy1971 on Oct 19, 2020 15:24:16 GMT -5
I've known so many people over so many different lifetimes that I've lived over my years that you just learn this one thing. Sometimes, you're just not that important to some people, and that's ok. Stop worrying about it and concentrate on the people you do have contact with in life. And when I say so many different lifetimes, I'm talking about all the things I've done. I've been apart of the night club scene, the music scene, wrestling, acting, gentleman's club scene, and have literally met 1000's of different people and I've had many people so close to me in all that and years later we never speak, not because of anything bad, it's just because that's life. Or maybe it's because you use words like "swath".  |
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Post by JC Motors on Oct 19, 2020 15:30:36 GMT -5
I'll always remember you
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Post by GBGav on Oct 19, 2020 15:48:55 GMT -5
I've known so many people over so many different lifetimes that I've lived over my years that you just learn this one thing. Sometimes, you're just not that important to some people, and that's ok. Stop worrying about it and concentrate on the people you do have contact with in life. And when I say so many different lifetimes, I'm talking about all the things I've done. I've been apart of the night club scene, the music scene, wrestling, acting, gentleman's club scene, and have literally met 1000's of different people and I've had many people so close to me in all that and years later we never speak, not because of anything bad, it's just because that's life. Or maybe it's because you use words like "swath". You make a good point there. Imagine if you had to maintain friendships with 1000 people. And each one of those maintained their own 1000 friendships and so on. It's just impossible. Over time you will gradually drift away from a lot of people and it's not necessarily a bad thing. You each have your own lives and priorities. By letting someone go from your life, you can focus more on the people who truly matter. I've been on Facebook for about 11 years now and still only have a friends list of less than 40 people. I do not care to have 1000 people that I don't even know on there because when I look at my news feed, the people I do care about will be lost in the shuffle. At least with my way, I can see how all of my friends are doing. There are even fewer friends that I actually see in person and that's fine for who I am as an introvert. Even though I've lost touch with many people over the years I've never truly forgotten most of them. I'll still experience little things or random memories that make me think of them. I don't really mind if most of them don't remember me because it has no effect on my life. One day everyone on this planet will be forgotten. Even the greatest of names like Einstein, Gandhi and Julius Caesar may pass out of knowledge. There'll be nothing to remember when the Earth ceases to exist so ultimately, don't worry about it and just focus on being as happy as you can with the friends you do have. |
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Post by hbkbigdaddycool on Oct 19, 2020 16:02:30 GMT -5
As I got older, I realized that friendships with people end up a lot like past relationships I had. I don't talk to any of my ex girlfriends except one. We somehow remained friends and still talk. The rest?? No clue as to what is going on with their lives.
My former friends is the same way now. I don't talk to a lot of them anymore, and that's not a bad thing. It happens in life. I probably wouldn't even be friends with those people anymore because I am sure we are both so different than what we were 10 years ago when we were close friends.
I had a friend - who I don't talk to anymore because I lost contact with him - say to me once, "people come into your life when you need them. Once you stopped learning from them, they will take off." I really do believe that now.
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Post by Mongo Bears on Oct 19, 2020 16:11:26 GMT -5
I am unfortunately the type that forgets people. I have no attention span for peoples names even just after they’ve given it to me. I guess I naturally don’t care to incorporate new people into my life unless it’s a challenge for me to avoid it after a while. I meet new people everyday for work and have some great conversations but after an hour or so they are gone and I don’t remember them.
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taker
Mid-Carder
Hector, are you going to behave yourself hector
Joined on: Jul 19, 2019 13:28:49 GMT -5
Posts: 473
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Post by taker on Oct 20, 2020 6:23:46 GMT -5
Can't agree with that statement Gav la sorry. people like Caesar, Shakespeare will not be known to the masses ( the great unwashed) but to Scholars, Historians,educated people I think so . I know kids/ teenagers today don't even know who are prime minster is . anyway people like the Beatles and Elvis will be immortalized there songs will live on. plus what are we going to play in space in the future on are Sony walkmans ? when were Guardians of the Galaxy. someone like say Bonnie Mckee I know it's enough to scare off any alien but I just can't see her fan club lasting to the end of time hell I'm amazed it's lasted a hole week sorry Bonnie I'm sure your a loverly girl and all that.  |
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Post by k5 on Oct 20, 2020 8:17:17 GMT -5
lot of good takes in here.
it's completely human to obsess over the here and now, but as scary as it may seem to our present self, being forgotten is just as much a part of life as existing. it's like plants going back into the ground after dying, or the sun going away for night.
you don't stop being. you change so that you are anew. shiva must destroy to create.
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Post by Yambag Jones on Oct 21, 2020 16:05:23 GMT -5
It's humbling to think that 100 years from now no one will know who I am. There will likely be no stories about me. It'll just keep on going.
Some people see that as depressing, but I choose to see freedom in it. I do my best to positively impact the lives of people I come into contact with and that's all I can do.
The year on the calendar has little to do with it. 2021 will be just as terrible for all of us if we don't look to make it better for ourselves and other people.
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Post by Codyverse: Tag Team Champion on Oct 21, 2020 20:12:28 GMT -5
I remember pretty much every face I have seen, to an extent. I’m half ass decent with names too.
I’m confident I could recognize 100 people that wouldn’t know me from Adam.
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Post by SE4NY on Nov 9, 2020 19:21:45 GMT -5
It's a part of life if I'm honest, since I moved years ago I kept in touch with a lot of my old close friends but some of them don't even text me happy birthday or talk to me at all and it's just the way it goes, people get busy but it is a shame.
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Post by Decky on Nov 9, 2020 19:45:23 GMT -5
I'm 34 and keep in touch with about 4 people and I'm absolutely OK with it. About 15 years ago, if I didn't get at a text from at least 15 different people at the weekend, I would have thought something was wrong.
Now if one of them text me to make plans I'd pretend I'm working.
Its just part of life. You'll be fine and - with all due respect - suck it up. Its gonna get even worse.
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Post by BoJack Hogan on Nov 9, 2020 21:56:10 GMT -5
I’m in my late 30s. My two best friends have been my two best friends for more than twenty years. My circle is three people deep, anyone else is an acquaintance or less. I used to know more people, but I tend to drop off when people have kids. I don’t like kids, and can’t relate to a life that revolves around them. I think my two best friends will be the exception though, because I truly love them. Some people are meant to be in your life, others are meant to pass through.
In closing, I think it’s more them than you. People will proudly write people off forever just because of who they voted for these days. It’s really hard to make strong connections.
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taker
Mid-Carder
Hector, are you going to behave yourself hector
Joined on: Jul 19, 2019 13:28:49 GMT -5
Posts: 473
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Post by taker on Nov 10, 2020 11:14:44 GMT -5
When I was about 7/8 the penny dropped as it does with every child I imgine my Immortality I'm aware knowing I'm going to die and the world will go on for ever and ever use to lie in bed at night thinking about it . I just couldn't get my head round it that I'll be gone like I never Existed. As for been forgot well if they give a s--t theres Ancestry.co.uk you get a free trial. Christ I've just had a thought Ihope they don't track me in here ringside.well if you have hello and yes your related to an idiot ! and I know I didn't leave use any inhertance because I spent the f-ing lot  on wine women and song.    |
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