WFWF Superbrawl XI Press Conference (February 2nd, 2021)
Feb 2, 2021 21:08:54 GMT -5
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Post by Thunder on Feb 2, 2021 21:08:54 GMT -5
Announcer: Please welcome your host for this special event, Kris Kash!
One wouldn't usually expect pyro at a press conference, but that's how Kris Kash makes his entrance for this monumental press conference. By the time he makes his way to center stage, there is an entrance video for him playing on this screen behind him. He runs from one side of the stage to the other, stopping to admire the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men in his likeness. Finally he makes his way back to the podium area.
Kris Kash: I would like to thank you all for being here, even those of you have doubted me. We have reason to celebrate because Superbrawl is just around the corner and tonight we have a spectacular confrontation. But first! Get out your pads and papers for some breaking news.
No one really does that, since that's not a thing any more. But they do get their phones ready.
Kris Kash: As you all know, we had three big matches signed for Superbrawl. That is no longer the case . . . Because we now have four!
Confetti and streamers pop off behind him. When the dust clears, the screen behind him shows a graphic with two men facing off on it: Wayne McGurk and Joe Bishop.
One wouldn't usually expect pyro at a press conference, but that's how Kris Kash makes his entrance for this monumental press conference. By the time he makes his way to center stage, there is an entrance video for him playing on this screen behind him. He runs from one side of the stage to the other, stopping to admire the wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men in his likeness. Finally he makes his way back to the podium area.
Kris Kash: I would like to thank you all for being here, even those of you have doubted me. We have reason to celebrate because Superbrawl is just around the corner and tonight we have a spectacular confrontation. But first! Get out your pads and papers for some breaking news.
No one really does that, since that's not a thing any more. But they do get their phones ready.
Kris Kash: As you all know, we had three big matches signed for Superbrawl. That is no longer the case . . . Because we now have four!
Confetti and streamers pop off behind him. When the dust clears, the screen behind him shows a graphic with two men facing off on it: Wayne McGurk and Joe Bishop.
Kris Kash: That's right! We have a huge match of returning legends, as Wayne McGurk and Joe Bishop will face off one on one. And do you know why? That's because I always deliver the best damn entertainment in sports.
He starts to walk away, but suddenly reverses course and jogs back to the podium.
Kris Kash: But wait! There's more!
Yay! More is good!
Kris Kash: I can confirm several new singings with the WFWF, Jakub and Jebediah Whatley. What is the background of these individuals? You'll all just have to wait and see. But although Superbrawl is just around the corner, any recently acquired athlete is welcome to make a splash with their debut match on the show. What better way to make a splash then at Superbrawl, the biggest show of the year? We already have four huge matches, and I can guarantee we will have more!
The crowd cheers. Guarantees are good!
Kris Kash: Now before we get further along here, as I'm a man of the people, I'd be happy to answer a few questions. This is a rare opportunity, so please use it wisely.
The questions come fast and furious, shouted and becoming muddled at once. Kash points to one person.
Reporter: Will Drakz and Josh Dean be here later?
Kris Krash: Of course they will be here. I promised them, didn't I? I live up to my promises! That's how you get somewhere in this business. But don't rush me off stage while you've got a good thing going here. Yes, you over there.
Reporter: Do you really think it's ethical the way you ousted Lila Sleater and treated her on the way out?
Kris Kash: Come on, man! That's ancient history.
Reporter: With all due respect, this is the first time we've had a chance to ask you questions in months.
Kris Kash: You know those questions should all be directed to my press secretary. I'm not here to dwell on the past. I'm here to talk about the future. But let me just say this you brought it up. If Lila Sleater wanted to still be in this spot, she should have just worked harder. And let me tell you, you have no idea how bad the books were when I got a hold of this place. But I have turned that ship around and have earned every of the bonus I get on top of my salary. Yes, you in the horrible shirt.
Reporter: Why has there been such a delay in the Superbrawl show?
Kris Kash: You people are so negative. What you call delay, I call building anticipation. The right promotor knows just how to milk the crowd so that they're begging for it when the time comes. And Wembley Stadium was also being rented out for a residency of Plan 9 from Outer Space on Ice. Next question.
Reporter: Who do you think will in the main event of Superbrawl?
Kash grins, his teeth nearly blinding the people in the first rows.
Kris Kash: That's an easy one. The fans. The fans are the real winners with such a fabulous main event. And speaking of that, please turn your attentions to Kris Kash Video Wall for a look back on what led us to this historic match.
The video that follows lines up all the events that have occurred since Josh Dean's recent return. It was pretty cool. You really had to be there. When finished, Kris Kash walks back up to the podium.
Kris Kash: This has been an exciting night in our final stop on the SuperBrawl: Revenge tour. And with that, we come to perhaps the most anticipated match in WFWF history!
He starts to become more animated with excitement. The true promoter in him coming out.
Kris Kash: The trilogy five years in the making is finally upon us, and it for the WFWF World Heavyweight Championship!
He pulls out a leather bound envelope.
Kris Kash: Tonight, we will make that match official as the champion, Drakz, and the challenger, Josh Dean, will sign the contract for their title match.
Everyone in attendance gives a rousing applause.
Kris Kash: Without further adieu, allow me to introduce the combatants. Introducing first, he is the challenger, the Triple Crown Champion and former WFWF World Heavyweight Champion. "The Architect" Josh Dean!
"Venom" by Eminem hits and the audience in attendance rises to their feet, cheering as Josh Dean walks onto the stage. He has the WFWF Championship draped over his shoulder and walks right to center stage. He puts the WFWF Championship in his hand and raises the richest prize in the world over his head in a stoic and deliberate fashion, drawing a loud applause from the media and fans alike. As he lowers the title, Josh glances over his shoulder to see Kris Kash applauding slowly with a slight sneer on his face. He saunters over to take his seat.
Kris Kash: AAANNNDDD his opponent! He is the current WFWF International Champion and the reigning, defending, UNDISPUTED WFWF Heavyweight Champion of the World! "The God Slayer" DRAKZ!!!!
The familiar sound of "It's a Lunken" by MK7 hits and there are some jeers from the non-media attendees as Drakz comes onto the stage, International Title in tow. The expression on Drakz's face suggests that he can't bothered to be present, but doesn't want Josh to have any opportunity to show him up with the open forum he'd have. He sits in the seat across from Josh, matching Josh by draping the International Title across his shoulder. He has his eyes locked on the WFWF Championship, which draws a smirk from Josh.
Kris Kash: Ok gentlemen, I'd like to remind you both that we previously agreed this press conference and contract signing would be conducted like true professionals.
Josh Dean: Yeah, let's see how long that actually lasts.
Kris flashes him a stern look of disapproval. Josh smirks.
Josh Dean: Oh I'm sorry, Chucky. Please continue.
Kris Kash: I'll let that slide, being this close to SuperBrawl. We certainly can't afford to lose our high profile match.
Josh Dean: I can't help but disagree with you, Mr. Weasley. This b*tch across the table has been avoiding me for nearly five years. So what would another year matter to him? I seriously have my doubts this match will go on. I mean hemorrhoids and hang nails are pretty debilitating.
Looking at Drakz, then at Kris Kash, Josh leans back in his chair.
Josh Dean: I'd be willing to bet neither of you would lose any sleep over that, either.
Drakz rolls his eyes. In his mind, he's already heard all this before.
Kris Kash: While I'd love to continue this back and forth with you, Josh, we really should open it up to questions from the media. Yes sir, you in the front. Please state your name and what media source you're from.
We focus in on a stocky man with a receding hairline. It's ace WFWF reporter Michael Sogenbottom.
Michael Sogenbottom: Yes, Michael Sogenbottom from WFWF.com and this question is for Josh. A common theme of your verbal campaign has been the accusation that Drakz 'ducked' you when you were both last simultaneously active competitors. My question is where does such a bold proclamation gain its merit?
Josh Dean: That's a valid question, Michael. But see, the answer has always been pretty simple. The first match we had in 2014, he got the win. Now despite what Isaac wants everyone, including himself, to believe; I won the rematch in 2016. That makes us tied at one apiece. As you can see by the stadium sellout, there's A LOT of money to be made in trilogies. You're welcome by the way, Archie.
Josh pauses, making sure to look at Drakz.
Josh Dean: If he really wanted another match with me, this trilogy would've happened two SuperBrawls ago when it should've. And judging by how worn down he's looking, that's when he had his best chance.
Michael Sogenbottom: Drakz... do you have a reply?
Drakz: No comment.
Josh's eyes squint. Drakz is usually never at a loss for words. What's his angle?
Kris Kash: Ok, let's take some more questions. Yes, miss in the second row.
A mid 20's, brown haired lady stands up.
Reporter: Yes, Jessica Casey from Pro Wrestling Today, and this question is for Josh. Josh you infamously brought up your contract situation during a scathing promo on the stage several months back. My question is, are you any closer to signing a contract extension than you were when you made your return last fall?
Josh Dean: Well that's really not for me to decide, now is it? Nah you'd have to ask Ronald McDonald over here where we are. You know, since the sellout he just got should pad his wallet enough to where he can pay he what he knows I'm worth.
Jessica Casey: Mr. Kash, any comment?
Kris Kash: I'd love to be able to discuss this, but I don't think monetary matters should be discussed in public. Next question.
Josh Dean: Oh, so you won't discuss the lack of attempts you're making to prevent your most valuable asset from walking out with the title and ending up on another company's television show with it? But you're perfectly ok publicly talking about fining me? Take notes everyone, and let this be exhibit 'A' of why this company is in the mess it's in. But go ahead, keep em coming.
Kris is disgusted. But he attempts to shake it off.
Kris Kash: Yes, you in the back.
A rather round, middle aged man stands up.
Reporter: Yes, Luke Holliday from WSWN News. Josh, is it true that you intend on leaving WFWF with the Heavyweight Title if you do end up victorious at SuperBrawl? Or is this a negotiation tactic to leverage more money?
Josh Dean: Is it such a bad thing to negotiate? I mean, we've in a society now where athletes have more control over their professional careers than ever before. But I tell you, Luke, I think we're fast approaching an impasse. It's pretty clear to me that Ed Sheeran would rather pander to a man that's made it obvious he's lost his edge than try to lock down a guy that actually cares about preserving the future.
Josh looks at Drakz, then at Kris Kash.
Josh Dean: I mean where's my motivation for sticking around? Hmm? I don't have much time left in my career, and I certainly don't want to spent it somewhere I'm not appreciated.
Kris Kash: Ok, next question. Yes, you along the far wall. A couple more please people so we can all get back to our hotels.
A young, slender man pushes off the wall.
Reporter: Yes, James Dulaney from What's Hot Now. Drakz, throughout all of this buildup and the physical encounters you've had with Josh, he has certainly got the better of you on many of those occasions. But you're most famously known to lock in when it counts. Are you going to be able to do it again at SuperBrawl?
Drakz, for the first time since the beginning of this press conference, cracks a grin.
Drakz: No comment.
Josh can't help but laugh. He isn't even trying. He thinks about retorting, but instead adjusts the WFWF Championship on his shoulder.
Kris Kash: Ok, one more please. Yes, you in the middle of the media scrum.
A average size reporter, early 30's, stands up and fumbles through his notes.
Reporter: Uh yes, Jason Smithson from International Sports Edition. Drakz, what would a record tying sixth World Championship mean to you as you look to wind down your career?
Drakz's eyebrow raises.
Drakz: I'm sorry, mate. Can you repeat the question again? I must've misunderstood you.
Jason Smithson: I said... what would a sixth World Title mean to you at this stage in your career?
That got him. Drakz's face turns stone serious, and we finally have some emotion.
Drakz: There isn't going to be a sixth World Title. There isn't going to be a fifth World Title because I'm STILL the WFWF World Heavyweight Champion. The four time, undisputed World Heavyweight Champion! How dare you show this gross lack of fact checking especially when it pertains to a man, who is little more than a thief, waltzing around here with my belt! Security, please get him out of here.
Event security, at the urging of Drakz, escort poor Jason Smithson out of the conference room. Josh laughs as he caresses the WFWF Championship. He picks up the mic and looks at Drakz, who is still fuming.
Josh Dean: It's funny how optics can sway perception, huh Isaac? Doesn't feel very good to be forgotten. What's worse is that yeah, maybe some people forgot about me in the time I was gone. But notice the difference, I was gone. Inactive. Injured. And here you are, still active. And while you shouldn't be, you are the WFWF Champion. For now. Because while the optics may have skewed Mr. Smithson's perception today, that won't be the case after SuperBrawl.
Kris Kash: Ok gentleman, let's go ahead and get this thing signed so we can make it official.
Kris Kash takes the leather bound envelope and sits it on the table in between the two men. He maneuvers it towards Josh.
Josh Dean: You know Isaac, we've done and said a lot of horrible things to each other in the course of this rivalry. All for this title that's draped over my shoulder. That's why, even though I couldn't get Rupert Grint to come around to my way of thinking on a new contract, I got him to add a clause to this bout agreement that I think you'll like. No count outs, no disqualification, pinfall or submission in the ring is the ONLY way this ends, the way it should be.
Josh takes the pen and writes what looks like half of his signature.
Josh Dean: You and I have both been in this business for a long time, roughly the same amount of time to be exact. And I've always found it interesting... the difference in culture of the business from when we first started until now. Rivalries were kept professional because there was always a professional respect between the competitors. That was how I was taught and while I can't speak on how you were taught, I've carried that with me my entire career. It's made me universally respected in this industry. The other thing I was taught, was that respect was earned by showing respect and by doing something phenomenal. Let's get one thing straight Isaac, I have always respected what you were capable of in between the ropes. You don't have a prolonged run at the top unless you're able to get it done. We both know that. But that respect I have for your abilities was never reciprocated. And I would think that facing the best possible version of you and winning should've earned your respect. Never mind the fact I didn't know where the hell I was for three quarters of it. You were there, and you knew it, too.
Josh sits down the pen.
Josh Dean: You knew I was hurt, and I was hurt badly. If you would've just got the win and moved on, no one would've said a goddamn word. But no, you tried to injure me permanently and it backfired in your face. If you wanted a rematch, all you had to do was ask. I'm not hard to find. You didn't have to pull the most blatant case of collusion anyone ever saw. The good news, you don't have Trace to clean up your mess now. Kyzer's gone, so you can't say you're focused on him. It's you and me. One way or another, when this is over, I will have your respect.
Josh picks up the pen and signs the rest of his name to the contract. He closes it and slides it over to Drakz nonchalantly.
Josh Dean: So I guess the question is Isaac, what's your excuse gonna be when I beat you again?
Drakz is stunned by Josh's proclamation, but calmly opens the contract. Kris Kash, like the brown nosing f*ck he is, is quick to hand Drakz a pen. But there's a bit of hesitation on Drakz's part to sign the contract. Josh quickly notices.
Josh Dean: It's not rocket science, buddy. This is your golden ticket, right here in front of you. You and I need closure, and this contract promises closure. You want me out of your life? You want to move on? Then sign the contract and get me out of your life!
Drakz looks at the contract, then at Josh, then back at the contract. He's been put through the ringer in this contract signing. He sneers then signs his name to the contract. Kris Kash can't wait to scoop it up.
Kris Kash: And it's official ladies and gentleman. The main event of SuperBrawl, the WFWF World Heavyweight Champion Drakz will defend the title against Josh Dean. NO COUNT OUTS, NO DISQUALIFICATION, PIN OR SUBMISSION ONLY! THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING!
Josh Dean: WHOA, hold on there Ketchup Head. We're not done just yet.
Josh takes the title off his shoulder and sits it on his lap.
Josh Dean: I'm glad you somehow located your balls, Isaac. But you should know that you f*cked up royally. See, what you did to me, I understand is just business. There's no hiding what kind of person you are, and that's why we have an issue with each other. We're polar opposites, and that's ok. But that little stunt you did on Halloween, putting your grimy hands on my son, that's a line you've never crossed with me. Drake is a sixteen year old kid with a dream, and is guilty of nothing but living under my roof. What it did is show me how much trouble you're in, because it's evident I'm in your head. You say that you reminded the world that you're still a killer. Well I got news for you, buddy. You better hope you're still a killer. I've already beat the best version of you and if any form other than January 11, 2016 shows up to Wembley, you're gonna get embarrassed. But, maybe more important than that, the moment you put your hands on him, beating you just didn't seem good enough for me. You need to go into this match with eyes wide open, Isaac, and understand that in addition to everything else, I'm gonna hurt you.
Josh stands up, and Drakz quickly stands up as well. Kris Kash quickly steps in between to intervene. Security is quick to circle both men. Josh holds the title up by his face. As he lowers it, he raises the mic.
Josh Dean: I did forget to mention one thing, Raggedy Ann. So silly of me. What I forgot to mention is that Isaac isn't the only one who can tell a good lie.
Before Kris Kash can even process what was just said, Josh chest passes the WFWF Championship into Drakz's face. The force knocks Drakz back, allowing Josh to toss the table to the side and lunge at Drakz! WE GOT A FIGHT! HOLY SH*T! Josh quickly gets the upperhand with big shots! Security grabs Josh just as quickly, allowing Drakz enough time to recover, drop both titles, and lunge into Josh with some big shots of his own. Josh uses the bear hug restraint a security guard has him in to put the boots up as Drakz comes charging in. Josh breaks the security guard's grip and scores with a back elbow to the face! Kris Kash tries to intervene once again, and Josh drills him with huge right cross that drops the WFWF CEO! Right back at it they go, with security still trying to break it up. Drakz rakes the eyes. He charges at Josh and Josh elevates him suddenly. RISE BOMB (SKY HIGH)....
And the chaotic mob falls silent. Josh stands on the stage, staring down at what he has done, what this rivalry has caused. Drakz is lying in an awkward position off stage, his fall being broken by the contract signing table. He is out cold, a common byproduct of these encounters to this point. Josh picks up the WFWF Championship and looks at it before tossing it on Drakz's prone body.
Josh Dean: I can do this to you any time I want, Isaac. SuperBrawl, you're mine!
Josh walks behind the podium and pulls out a dingy rag and a bottle of polish. He walks over to the edge of the stage and drops them on top of Drakz.
Josh Dean: Clean up my f*cking belt.
Josh raises his hands up in victory. He then turns towards Kris Kash, who is making his way to his feet after taking a brutal shot during the opening moments of the fracas. Josh shakes his head and drops his hands, keeping an open hand posture as he walks off the stage. Drakz is still motionless as we fade to black.
