Post by wolvenbear on Feb 3, 2021 3:51:18 GMT -5
(We recap the Lesnar/Batista match, where the ref Fameasser's Lesnar before pulling Batista over on top of him. Randy Orton then announces that the ref is the newest member of the New Bloods, Dolph Zigglar. Goldberg and Lesnar respond by F-Spearing Orton during an interview. This cuts to Animal costing the Gymini the rematch against the Dudleyz for their tag belts, leaving them bloody as he quick counts the 10. We finally see HBK choose both his and Hall's opponent's for the night. He falls prey to Kane's tombstone, but Umaga Samoan Spikes Kane at the end of the match. Rise Up plays as the Smackdown intro rolls, and we go to the ring.)
JR: Welcome to Smackdown, coming to you tonight from Des Moines Iowa. Tonight, we continue the Million Dollar Battle Royale qualifiers. Maven, William Regal, and Shelton Benjamin have already made their way into the match. 6 more matches are scheduled to determine who else joins them.
Tenay: And we also find out tonight the other two competitors for Chris Sabin's X Division Championship. And both matchups are worthy of the title itself. Tajiri faces off against Petey Williams, and Christopher Daniels goes one on one with Evan Bourne.
Jr: But we start off with a huge blockbuster 6 man tag match. Kurt Angle is coaching Orlando Jordan and the World's Greatest Tag Team against Elijah Burke and the Dudleyz, with Sylvester Terkay in their corner.
Tenay: And, if that's not big enough, Angle has managed to get the Tag Team Championship on the line.
(We start off with Burke and Jordan. Burke tries to lock up, but Jordan relies on his boxing to drive him back. Pounding him down, he makes a mistake in trying to mock Burke's swagger, giving him time to hit a massive uppercut that rocks Jordan on his heels and tag in D-Von. )
Tenay: Showboating costs many men a match. When you have your opponent on the ropes, you don't let up.
(D-Von pounds away at Jordan, tossing him like a rag doll. Bounding off the ropes, he slams into OJ with a diving shoulder block before ground and pounding him. Whipping him into the wrong side, he lets Benjamin get the tag. Missing it D-Von takes OJ down again, but Benjamin gets him from behind, Utilizing quick tags, Team Angle wears him down with double and even Triple teams. In sheer desparation, D-Von reverses a whip into a double clothesline, taking out WGTT. He tags in Bubba.)
Tenay: And all that work was for naught. The fresh man has been tagged in. And Bubba Ray Dudley is cleaning house.
JR: He is the Oprah of the FWA. You get a bubba bomb. And you get a bubba bomb. And you...
(After taking out all three men, he hits a bubba cutter on Haas for the pin, but Angle pulls him out. Terkay gets involved and pummels away. WGTT runs out to try and help Angle, leaving OJ in the ring by himself. Burke lands a DDE on him then teams with DVon to hit a 3D. The 3 count follows to Angle's horror.)
(Backstage, Animal is chatting with some of the superstars, welcoming him back, when the Gymini sneak attack him. Stripping him of his spikes, they hit a cross trainer through the snack table, and leave him broken.)
Jake: You wanna screw us out of our titles? You wanna get in our business? Well, we'll be happy to return the favor. Oh, I forgot....Jesse?
(Jesse jumps on top and pounds away, until Animal is bleeding, washing away his face paint.)
Jesse: You want a fight? Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
JR: Speaking of be careful what you wish for...
(We switch to the ring, where Dolph Ziggler faces off against Brock Lesar. Still furious from Ziglar's ref conduct, Lesnar makes short work of him, suplexing him mercilessly, until he hits not one but three F5s. He then puts Ziglar into the Brock Lock, where he taps. We go to commercial, as the refs are trying to get Brock to release the hold.)
JR: As hard as that was to watch, we were reminded why it is a bad idea to cross Brock Lesnar.
Tenay: But now we have a man who so impressed the Milliond Dollar man in the six man match that DiBiase has given him another chance to qualify in one on one action.
(Christian comes out to face Jamie Noble. For several minutes they exchange holds, reversing each other, but Christian gets behind Noble for a belly to back suplex. When Noble tries to get up, he gets a dropkick to the face and a mounted chokehold for his troubles. Noble is able to get to the ropes, and Christian stomps away until he gets out of the ring. When Christian tries to dive into Noble, he is caught and driven into the ring apron. Sliding back in, Noble delivers several more technical moves to his larger opponent, but Christian slides behind him for an "I'm Prettier". Noble kicks out at the last second. Christian tries to hit the Unprettier, but Noble gets his arms free and rolls Christian up, grabbing the ropes for the win.)
(Backstage, we see Sabin talking to Cline.)
Sabin: For too long, the X Division has been treated as the baby brother to the "real" wrestling" division. We get the rejects; we get the little men who can't hold their own against real opponents. In TNA, the tag line was "The X Division isn't about weight limits; it's about no limits." And, while critics mocked it, we had monsters like Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash and Hernandez. While a triple threat was rare in heavyweight circles, every X Division competitor had multiple three or four man matches every month. The 6 or 8 man Xscape match, the Ultimate X match, the X cup, and the Terrordome...these matches required the champion to face more competitors in a single match than any heavyweight champion faced in a year. Dozens of X Division champions became World Title holders despite their weight for a simple reason. X Division competitors were better than the "main eventers". Our worst were better than their best. We have lost that. It is time to restore the X Division to what it is supposed to be. This match, at Bound For Glory, will do what the other champions have failed to do, make the belt something that matters. I want this belt to mean something again, Leticia. I hope the fans can respect that.
(As we see Tajiri walk through the curtains, Kyo Dai stand waiting. Rey Mysterio and Psychosis attack them just as Petey Williams makes his way up and steps over their bodies, passing through the curtain, to go to the ring.
Cutting to the arena, we see Petey tangle up with Tajiri. Petey tries to tangle with Tajiri, but the vicious kicks prevent him from maintaining dominance. Keeping him grounded with martial arts attacks, Tajiri just barely holds Petey Williams at bay...as he keeps hitting reversals out of nowhere. Tajiri backdrops Petey out of the Canadian Destroyer and hits a springboard elbow drop. He calls for the rest of Kyo Dai, but is floored when Rey and Psychosis come out dashing his hopes. He turns into another Canadian Destroyer, and Williams heads for Bound For Glory.)
(When we come back from commercial, we see that Team Extreme are Fighting the New Bloods in a two out of three fall match with each pinfall winner advancing to the Battle Royale. As soon as Matt Hardy is the choice and the other two step out of the ring, Batista and Kennedy rush them, knocking them off the apron, while Orton spins Matt into an RKO. Motioning to Kennedy, he and Batista go after the two downed men. Kennedy quickly lifts Matt into a Mic Check, and then adds a Swanton as an exclamation point before getting the three.)
JR: Damn Jackals. They just will not fight a fair match to save their lives.
Tenay: And, as ugly as it is, they not only just secured a spot in The Million Dollar Royale, but a three on two advantage for this match.
(Commissioner Mick's music hits, and he makes his way to the stage with a mic in hand.)
Foley: Well, well, well. This is altogether too typical of the New Bloods. Jumping unsuspecting victims from behind, issuing gang beatings to get the advantage, using cheap shots, and doing whatever you can to cheat, even when it's not necessary. I don't know about the fans in Des Moines, Iowa, but I for one am getting very, VERY tired of it. So, while this may not be my match, or my federation. And, as such, I get to call a...let's call it an audible, to preserve the quality and fairness of our programming. So, congratulations, Mr. Kennedy, on earning your spot in Ted Dibiase's little match. And, because you have done so, there is no longer any reason for you to be here. While you're at it, take the rest of the night off. You're done.
JR: Oh my god! What an audible that was.
Tenay: And the New Bloods are stunned. Orton is furious.
JR: Serves him right!
Foley: You're still standing there with that goofy look on your face. Obviously I wasn't clear enough. That means get the hell out of my ring, and get the hell out of my arena. Security remove him. And, while we're at it, to ensure the rest of this match goes off in a fair way, I got a small insurance policy, to make sure no more funny business goes on.
(Lesnar's music hits and he comes out laughing his head off.)
Tenay: Oh, that's not even fair.
JR: Maybe the New Bloods will finally get a taste of their own medicine.
(Batista drops off the apron to confront Lesnar and gets beaten senseless before getting tossed over the railing into the crowd. Lesnar follows and F5s Batista onto the concrete before turning back to Orton. Hardy uses the distraction to hit a poetry in motion followed by the Twist of Fate. He tags in CM Punk for the go to Sleep and the pin. Lesnar slides in to raise Punk's hand. )
JR: The best laid plans of Mice and New Bloods get waylaid by the Commissioner of FWA.
Tenay: And it seems we're not done with last minute audibles. The Million Dollar Man himself has just changed the qualifying match between Bradshaw and Finley to a parking lot brawl. And that match is now.
(As soon as the ref calls for the match to start, the two men begin hammering away at each other. Bradshaw gets the upper hand and starts ramming Finley's head into the hood of a car, before backdropping him onto it. Climbing onto the hood, he tries to powerbomb Finley, but gets a low blow and launched backwards onto the conrete. Dragging Bradshaw over to the car door he opens it and slams it into him several times. Setting Bradshaw's finisher arm in the gap, he slams the door into it once.)
JR: Good God, he's trying to break his arm just like he did Sandman.
Tenay: He's also taking away that vicious clothesline from hell.
(Finley prepares for the Celtic Cross, but notices that, in the group of superstars who have come out to watch the brawl, Raven is among them. Dropping Bradshaw, he goes over to push Raven, who puts his hands up, feigning innocence. As the ref yells at Finley to get back to the match he shoves Raven again and slaps him. Laughing, he turns back into a clothesline from hell from Bradshaw. He writhes in agony, but Raven steps forward and drags him onto Finley, for the three.)
Tenay: And Raven just returned the slap in the face, costing Finley the match.
JR: You could almost say Raven cost himself. Raven was minding his business until Finley slapped him.
Tenay: Yeah, I'm sure everything was innocent until then. But we have our next match, and joining us at the table is Senshi.
(Samoa Joe comes out to face Muhammad Hassan, but pauses at the table to stare down Senshi. He goes into the ring and pounds away at Hassan. Hassan uses his superior strength to power Joe down, but Joe keeps kicking out after moves and going back on the attack. Then he pauses to yell at Senshi, letting Hassan take control again.)
JR: So, it's obvious you're out here to goad Joe, but while you're here, I've got to ask why you attacked Joe at the Rumble.
Senshi: It's simple, JR. For months, Samoa Joe is claiming that he is unbeatable, simply because he hasn't been beaten. He brags that he is a warrior, simply because he has crushed his opponents. He is no warrior. He is a fat, slovenly coward who targets the weak and the pathetic. His winning streak is build off of nobodies. Losers. He won't face a real man.
JR: Losers? Nobodies? Rey Mysterio? Chris Sabin, our current X Division Champion? John Cena? These are weak competitors?
Senshi: They are not warriors. They are acrobats, a rapper. They are untrained. Undisciplined. I am a warrior. I will not give Samoa Joe a match. I will give him a war. We will not compete. We will battle. We will see who stands tall as a warrior, and it will not be Samoa Joe.
(Samoa Joe takes Hassan into the corner and hits the muscl buster as he hears Senshi's commentary. Screaming that he'll show Senshi a warrior, he abandons the match to take out Senshi. As the two brawl on the ground behind the announcer's table, the ref counts Joe out. Hassan raises his hand in victory as staff breaks the two up. We go to commercial.)
(We return to JTG and Chavo Guerrero. The match is pretty even, with no man getting more than a few moves in before the other reverses and takes control. After about three minutes, Goldberg's music hits, and Chavo points to the stage in horror.)
JR: What the hell is Goldberg doing getting involved in this match?
(JTG throws his arms out in a "what the hell?" gesture, but Chavo rolls him up. When the ref counts to three, Chavo rolls out in a hurry. Eddie joins him on the stage.)
Eddie: Hey, homes. Don't look so confused. I found this little toy in the back. And...
(He hits a button, making Big Show's music play. Anotehr makes Rey Mysterio's play. And another, the APA's.)
Chavo: What can I say? (their music hits) If you ain't cheating...you ain't trying. "We lie, we cheat we steal."
Tenay: That's....actually pretty smart.
JR: Why do we have remote controls for the Titantron?
(Backstage, the Gymini corner Heidenreich.)
Jesse: Your punk ass partner got his earlier. Now it's time for you to see what time it is...
(Before they can do anything, Animal runs in with a chair and hammers away at both.)
Animal: (punctuating each word with a chair shot, alternating) It. Is. Time. For. You. To. Get. The. Ass. Whooping. You. Have. Had. Coming. For. Two. Months.
(Ripping his pads off Jesse, and spitting on him, he looks at Heidenreich. )
Animal: Go brother. This is your time. Make the Warriors proud.
(Back in the ring, RVD is preparing to have a conversation with Leticia Cline, when the nWo's music hits. In frustration, RVD throws the mic down and faces the stage to see Bret Hart come out. Hart slides into the ring and grabs the mic RVD dropped.)
Hart: I want to say Rob. I'm impressed. You have joined a very elite club. You won the Royale Rumble, something few men can say. You are a hell of an athlete, a hell of a fighter, and, honestly, you seem like a hell of a guy. Personally, I have nothing but respect for you. Unfortunately, you also have made a hell of a mistake in taking from the nWo. And while, I respect you...you are in the way.
(Without warning, he clocks RVD. Down on the mat, he stomps away, before pulling off his Hogan weight belt and whipping RVD mercilessly across the back and legs. Hogan appears on the titantron and gives him a thumbs down. Nodding, Hart tosses the belt and tells the ref to start the match.)
JR: Rob wasn't even supposed to have a match tonight. And now, he doesn't even have a chance.
Tenay: Hogan told him that he would regret taking on the nWo. They're proving it, again and again.
JR: When will it be enough for him to have "learned his lesson".
Tenay: When he is no longer in the nWo's way. When he gives them what they want.
JR: So what? When hell freezes over?
(Hart procedes to methodically pick apart RVD's legs. RVD tries to fight back, but Hart simply takes the leg out again and goes back to work. Hart lifts him for the beginning of his final combination, allowing RVD to get one of his famous surprise kicks. He tries to go for the Five Star, but his leg buckles, and Hart takes advantage, chopping his leg and superplexing him. He locks in the Sharpshooter, and RVD has no choice but to tap. AS he writhes in pain, Hart walks up the ramp. )
Hart: Make it easy on yourself Rob. Give it up.
JR: He never had a chance.
Tenay: He wasn't supposed to. Not that RVD could've beaten Hart on the best of days.
(Coming back from commercial, we see Heidenreich face off against Kevin Nash for another MDM spot. They lock up and Nash tosses Heidenreich on his back. Nodding, he gets up, gets an arm lock, and clotheslines Nash down from behind. Another lock up and Nash gets his knee into the gut several times, tossing him into the corner to start deliver his big elbow strikes. Heidenreich finally reverses and rains blows down taking Nash to his butt.)
JR: We truly have two bulls going at it.
Tenay: Neither man is used to having someone their size, able to go toe to toe.
(Back and forth they go, each outpowering the other. Finally, Nash goes for the Jackknife, but it is reversed, dropping him backward. He tries to hit a running big boot, but Heidenreich catches him in the spinning sidewalk slam and gets the pin. He celebrates as we cut to Foley's office, as HBK and Hall come in.)
Foley: This will be quick. You are both being given the night off, and you will not be needed on Raw. We are going to give you both a unique opportunity. You will take your time off to think of an opponent of your choice for each other. You may choose anyone you wish from the roster, so long as they agree. Now, get out of my sight, both of you. I'm tired of dealing with the damage you cause.
JR: What a huge announcement! This is a huge chance for both men to strike a massive blow.
Tenay: But who are they going to find? Neither man is exactly popular in the locker room.
JR: But that also means they both have tons of enemies who would likely jump at the chance to get his hands on these men, and make themselves bigger by beating a world champ.
(Sabin's music hits, and he comes out in a ref shirt.)
JR: What is this?
Tenay: It looks like Sabin is serious about making this the match to put the X Division back on the map.
JR: It was never off the map. And if he was serious, shouldn't he let it play out right?
Tenay: What makes you think he won't, JR? Why wouldn't he call it down the center?
(Bourne and Daniels come to the ring. They are evenly matched with a lot of reversals, and high flying, often missing their marks. Everytime Daniels tries to take control, Bourne has a counter. He goes high risk, but Daniels hits a running palm strike uppercut. He is unable to launch Bourne from the ropes, as Bourne pulls him in and hits the DDT from on top of Daniels shoulders. He follows up with a quick Air Bourne. But, due to the count, Daniels kicks out at two.)
JR: Oh yeah. Right down the center.
Tenay: He probably wants a definitive winner. Whoever wins has to get a solid three count.
JR: Oh yeah. I'm sure. And If I add ketchup, my hat will taste like a steak.
(When Bourne complains and shoves him, Sabin points to his shirt. As Bourne is distracted, Daniels hits his spinning back drop, before pulling Bourne up for Angel's Wings. Sabin hits a quick three count, with Bourne barely missing the kickout.)
JR: Definitive winner huh? Wants a solid victory?
Tenay: C'mon, JR. He's not a professional. Maybe he realized that his earlier count was too slow and corrected his error.
JR: My sooner ass. You'll make any excuse for Sabin, huh?
(We go to our final commercial. When we come back to our main event, Nitro and MVP are already in the ring with Godfather waiting outside. R-Truth's music hits and he comes dancing down, only to be attacked on the ramp by Alpha Male.)
Alpha Male: I haven't beat you? You didn't lose? Let's fix that!
(He slugs away, but Truth fights back, and the two disappear backstage slugging it out. The ref demands Godfather get in, and he reluctantly does.)
JR: And Godfather's very first main event becomes a handicapped match.
Tenay: Welcome to the big time...let's see if you deserve to be here.
(Godfather puts on a good show, but even though he takes the fight to each one, rocking them back on their heels, they are able to keep tagging out. They get to recover, while he keeps wearing himself out and not healing. Finally, exhausted, he takes too long and misses the Ho Train, getting a superkick from Nitro in return. As he falls, Nitro hits the Starship Paine. MVP begs for the tag, and sets up for the Playmaker.)
JR: You can't take anything away from Godfather. He took on two former champions by himself and took them to the limit.
Tenay: But ultimately, he wasn't up to the task, JR. His one and likely only, Main Event ended just as it should.
JR: It may not be over, Tenay, look! I think we have another audible!
(Rhyno's music hits and he comes running down. MVP lets Godfather go as Rhyno jumps to the apron. Godfather catches him from behind for a Pimp Drop. Rhyno holds out his hand and Godfather makes the tag. Rhyno comes in and cleans house on the other already exhausted men. Goring Nitro off the apron, he Gores MVP and then tags Godfather back in for the pin. He stands guard while the ref counts three. And we go off the air with Godfather and Rhyno celebrating in the ring.)
JR: Welcome to Smackdown, coming to you tonight from Des Moines Iowa. Tonight, we continue the Million Dollar Battle Royale qualifiers. Maven, William Regal, and Shelton Benjamin have already made their way into the match. 6 more matches are scheduled to determine who else joins them.
Tenay: And we also find out tonight the other two competitors for Chris Sabin's X Division Championship. And both matchups are worthy of the title itself. Tajiri faces off against Petey Williams, and Christopher Daniels goes one on one with Evan Bourne.
Jr: But we start off with a huge blockbuster 6 man tag match. Kurt Angle is coaching Orlando Jordan and the World's Greatest Tag Team against Elijah Burke and the Dudleyz, with Sylvester Terkay in their corner.
Tenay: And, if that's not big enough, Angle has managed to get the Tag Team Championship on the line.
(We start off with Burke and Jordan. Burke tries to lock up, but Jordan relies on his boxing to drive him back. Pounding him down, he makes a mistake in trying to mock Burke's swagger, giving him time to hit a massive uppercut that rocks Jordan on his heels and tag in D-Von. )
Tenay: Showboating costs many men a match. When you have your opponent on the ropes, you don't let up.
(D-Von pounds away at Jordan, tossing him like a rag doll. Bounding off the ropes, he slams into OJ with a diving shoulder block before ground and pounding him. Whipping him into the wrong side, he lets Benjamin get the tag. Missing it D-Von takes OJ down again, but Benjamin gets him from behind, Utilizing quick tags, Team Angle wears him down with double and even Triple teams. In sheer desparation, D-Von reverses a whip into a double clothesline, taking out WGTT. He tags in Bubba.)
Tenay: And all that work was for naught. The fresh man has been tagged in. And Bubba Ray Dudley is cleaning house.
JR: He is the Oprah of the FWA. You get a bubba bomb. And you get a bubba bomb. And you...
(After taking out all three men, he hits a bubba cutter on Haas for the pin, but Angle pulls him out. Terkay gets involved and pummels away. WGTT runs out to try and help Angle, leaving OJ in the ring by himself. Burke lands a DDE on him then teams with DVon to hit a 3D. The 3 count follows to Angle's horror.)
(Backstage, Animal is chatting with some of the superstars, welcoming him back, when the Gymini sneak attack him. Stripping him of his spikes, they hit a cross trainer through the snack table, and leave him broken.)
Jake: You wanna screw us out of our titles? You wanna get in our business? Well, we'll be happy to return the favor. Oh, I forgot....Jesse?
(Jesse jumps on top and pounds away, until Animal is bleeding, washing away his face paint.)
Jesse: You want a fight? Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it.
JR: Speaking of be careful what you wish for...
(We switch to the ring, where Dolph Ziggler faces off against Brock Lesar. Still furious from Ziglar's ref conduct, Lesnar makes short work of him, suplexing him mercilessly, until he hits not one but three F5s. He then puts Ziglar into the Brock Lock, where he taps. We go to commercial, as the refs are trying to get Brock to release the hold.)
JR: As hard as that was to watch, we were reminded why it is a bad idea to cross Brock Lesnar.
Tenay: But now we have a man who so impressed the Milliond Dollar man in the six man match that DiBiase has given him another chance to qualify in one on one action.
(Christian comes out to face Jamie Noble. For several minutes they exchange holds, reversing each other, but Christian gets behind Noble for a belly to back suplex. When Noble tries to get up, he gets a dropkick to the face and a mounted chokehold for his troubles. Noble is able to get to the ropes, and Christian stomps away until he gets out of the ring. When Christian tries to dive into Noble, he is caught and driven into the ring apron. Sliding back in, Noble delivers several more technical moves to his larger opponent, but Christian slides behind him for an "I'm Prettier". Noble kicks out at the last second. Christian tries to hit the Unprettier, but Noble gets his arms free and rolls Christian up, grabbing the ropes for the win.)
(Backstage, we see Sabin talking to Cline.)
Sabin: For too long, the X Division has been treated as the baby brother to the "real" wrestling" division. We get the rejects; we get the little men who can't hold their own against real opponents. In TNA, the tag line was "The X Division isn't about weight limits; it's about no limits." And, while critics mocked it, we had monsters like Samoa Joe and Kevin Nash and Hernandez. While a triple threat was rare in heavyweight circles, every X Division competitor had multiple three or four man matches every month. The 6 or 8 man Xscape match, the Ultimate X match, the X cup, and the Terrordome...these matches required the champion to face more competitors in a single match than any heavyweight champion faced in a year. Dozens of X Division champions became World Title holders despite their weight for a simple reason. X Division competitors were better than the "main eventers". Our worst were better than their best. We have lost that. It is time to restore the X Division to what it is supposed to be. This match, at Bound For Glory, will do what the other champions have failed to do, make the belt something that matters. I want this belt to mean something again, Leticia. I hope the fans can respect that.
(As we see Tajiri walk through the curtains, Kyo Dai stand waiting. Rey Mysterio and Psychosis attack them just as Petey Williams makes his way up and steps over their bodies, passing through the curtain, to go to the ring.
Cutting to the arena, we see Petey tangle up with Tajiri. Petey tries to tangle with Tajiri, but the vicious kicks prevent him from maintaining dominance. Keeping him grounded with martial arts attacks, Tajiri just barely holds Petey Williams at bay...as he keeps hitting reversals out of nowhere. Tajiri backdrops Petey out of the Canadian Destroyer and hits a springboard elbow drop. He calls for the rest of Kyo Dai, but is floored when Rey and Psychosis come out dashing his hopes. He turns into another Canadian Destroyer, and Williams heads for Bound For Glory.)
(When we come back from commercial, we see that Team Extreme are Fighting the New Bloods in a two out of three fall match with each pinfall winner advancing to the Battle Royale. As soon as Matt Hardy is the choice and the other two step out of the ring, Batista and Kennedy rush them, knocking them off the apron, while Orton spins Matt into an RKO. Motioning to Kennedy, he and Batista go after the two downed men. Kennedy quickly lifts Matt into a Mic Check, and then adds a Swanton as an exclamation point before getting the three.)
JR: Damn Jackals. They just will not fight a fair match to save their lives.
Tenay: And, as ugly as it is, they not only just secured a spot in The Million Dollar Royale, but a three on two advantage for this match.
(Commissioner Mick's music hits, and he makes his way to the stage with a mic in hand.)
Foley: Well, well, well. This is altogether too typical of the New Bloods. Jumping unsuspecting victims from behind, issuing gang beatings to get the advantage, using cheap shots, and doing whatever you can to cheat, even when it's not necessary. I don't know about the fans in Des Moines, Iowa, but I for one am getting very, VERY tired of it. So, while this may not be my match, or my federation. And, as such, I get to call a...let's call it an audible, to preserve the quality and fairness of our programming. So, congratulations, Mr. Kennedy, on earning your spot in Ted Dibiase's little match. And, because you have done so, there is no longer any reason for you to be here. While you're at it, take the rest of the night off. You're done.
JR: Oh my god! What an audible that was.
Tenay: And the New Bloods are stunned. Orton is furious.
JR: Serves him right!
Foley: You're still standing there with that goofy look on your face. Obviously I wasn't clear enough. That means get the hell out of my ring, and get the hell out of my arena. Security remove him. And, while we're at it, to ensure the rest of this match goes off in a fair way, I got a small insurance policy, to make sure no more funny business goes on.
(Lesnar's music hits and he comes out laughing his head off.)
Tenay: Oh, that's not even fair.
JR: Maybe the New Bloods will finally get a taste of their own medicine.
(Batista drops off the apron to confront Lesnar and gets beaten senseless before getting tossed over the railing into the crowd. Lesnar follows and F5s Batista onto the concrete before turning back to Orton. Hardy uses the distraction to hit a poetry in motion followed by the Twist of Fate. He tags in CM Punk for the go to Sleep and the pin. Lesnar slides in to raise Punk's hand. )
JR: The best laid plans of Mice and New Bloods get waylaid by the Commissioner of FWA.
Tenay: And it seems we're not done with last minute audibles. The Million Dollar Man himself has just changed the qualifying match between Bradshaw and Finley to a parking lot brawl. And that match is now.
(As soon as the ref calls for the match to start, the two men begin hammering away at each other. Bradshaw gets the upper hand and starts ramming Finley's head into the hood of a car, before backdropping him onto it. Climbing onto the hood, he tries to powerbomb Finley, but gets a low blow and launched backwards onto the conrete. Dragging Bradshaw over to the car door he opens it and slams it into him several times. Setting Bradshaw's finisher arm in the gap, he slams the door into it once.)
JR: Good God, he's trying to break his arm just like he did Sandman.
Tenay: He's also taking away that vicious clothesline from hell.
(Finley prepares for the Celtic Cross, but notices that, in the group of superstars who have come out to watch the brawl, Raven is among them. Dropping Bradshaw, he goes over to push Raven, who puts his hands up, feigning innocence. As the ref yells at Finley to get back to the match he shoves Raven again and slaps him. Laughing, he turns back into a clothesline from hell from Bradshaw. He writhes in agony, but Raven steps forward and drags him onto Finley, for the three.)
Tenay: And Raven just returned the slap in the face, costing Finley the match.
JR: You could almost say Raven cost himself. Raven was minding his business until Finley slapped him.
Tenay: Yeah, I'm sure everything was innocent until then. But we have our next match, and joining us at the table is Senshi.
(Samoa Joe comes out to face Muhammad Hassan, but pauses at the table to stare down Senshi. He goes into the ring and pounds away at Hassan. Hassan uses his superior strength to power Joe down, but Joe keeps kicking out after moves and going back on the attack. Then he pauses to yell at Senshi, letting Hassan take control again.)
JR: So, it's obvious you're out here to goad Joe, but while you're here, I've got to ask why you attacked Joe at the Rumble.
Senshi: It's simple, JR. For months, Samoa Joe is claiming that he is unbeatable, simply because he hasn't been beaten. He brags that he is a warrior, simply because he has crushed his opponents. He is no warrior. He is a fat, slovenly coward who targets the weak and the pathetic. His winning streak is build off of nobodies. Losers. He won't face a real man.
JR: Losers? Nobodies? Rey Mysterio? Chris Sabin, our current X Division Champion? John Cena? These are weak competitors?
Senshi: They are not warriors. They are acrobats, a rapper. They are untrained. Undisciplined. I am a warrior. I will not give Samoa Joe a match. I will give him a war. We will not compete. We will battle. We will see who stands tall as a warrior, and it will not be Samoa Joe.
(Samoa Joe takes Hassan into the corner and hits the muscl buster as he hears Senshi's commentary. Screaming that he'll show Senshi a warrior, he abandons the match to take out Senshi. As the two brawl on the ground behind the announcer's table, the ref counts Joe out. Hassan raises his hand in victory as staff breaks the two up. We go to commercial.)
(We return to JTG and Chavo Guerrero. The match is pretty even, with no man getting more than a few moves in before the other reverses and takes control. After about three minutes, Goldberg's music hits, and Chavo points to the stage in horror.)
JR: What the hell is Goldberg doing getting involved in this match?
(JTG throws his arms out in a "what the hell?" gesture, but Chavo rolls him up. When the ref counts to three, Chavo rolls out in a hurry. Eddie joins him on the stage.)
Eddie: Hey, homes. Don't look so confused. I found this little toy in the back. And...
(He hits a button, making Big Show's music play. Anotehr makes Rey Mysterio's play. And another, the APA's.)
Chavo: What can I say? (their music hits) If you ain't cheating...you ain't trying. "We lie, we cheat we steal."
Tenay: That's....actually pretty smart.
JR: Why do we have remote controls for the Titantron?
(Backstage, the Gymini corner Heidenreich.)
Jesse: Your punk ass partner got his earlier. Now it's time for you to see what time it is...
(Before they can do anything, Animal runs in with a chair and hammers away at both.)
Animal: (punctuating each word with a chair shot, alternating) It. Is. Time. For. You. To. Get. The. Ass. Whooping. You. Have. Had. Coming. For. Two. Months.
(Ripping his pads off Jesse, and spitting on him, he looks at Heidenreich. )
Animal: Go brother. This is your time. Make the Warriors proud.
(Back in the ring, RVD is preparing to have a conversation with Leticia Cline, when the nWo's music hits. In frustration, RVD throws the mic down and faces the stage to see Bret Hart come out. Hart slides into the ring and grabs the mic RVD dropped.)
Hart: I want to say Rob. I'm impressed. You have joined a very elite club. You won the Royale Rumble, something few men can say. You are a hell of an athlete, a hell of a fighter, and, honestly, you seem like a hell of a guy. Personally, I have nothing but respect for you. Unfortunately, you also have made a hell of a mistake in taking from the nWo. And while, I respect you...you are in the way.
(Without warning, he clocks RVD. Down on the mat, he stomps away, before pulling off his Hogan weight belt and whipping RVD mercilessly across the back and legs. Hogan appears on the titantron and gives him a thumbs down. Nodding, Hart tosses the belt and tells the ref to start the match.)
JR: Rob wasn't even supposed to have a match tonight. And now, he doesn't even have a chance.
Tenay: Hogan told him that he would regret taking on the nWo. They're proving it, again and again.
JR: When will it be enough for him to have "learned his lesson".
Tenay: When he is no longer in the nWo's way. When he gives them what they want.
JR: So what? When hell freezes over?
(Hart procedes to methodically pick apart RVD's legs. RVD tries to fight back, but Hart simply takes the leg out again and goes back to work. Hart lifts him for the beginning of his final combination, allowing RVD to get one of his famous surprise kicks. He tries to go for the Five Star, but his leg buckles, and Hart takes advantage, chopping his leg and superplexing him. He locks in the Sharpshooter, and RVD has no choice but to tap. AS he writhes in pain, Hart walks up the ramp. )
Hart: Make it easy on yourself Rob. Give it up.
JR: He never had a chance.
Tenay: He wasn't supposed to. Not that RVD could've beaten Hart on the best of days.
(Coming back from commercial, we see Heidenreich face off against Kevin Nash for another MDM spot. They lock up and Nash tosses Heidenreich on his back. Nodding, he gets up, gets an arm lock, and clotheslines Nash down from behind. Another lock up and Nash gets his knee into the gut several times, tossing him into the corner to start deliver his big elbow strikes. Heidenreich finally reverses and rains blows down taking Nash to his butt.)
JR: We truly have two bulls going at it.
Tenay: Neither man is used to having someone their size, able to go toe to toe.
(Back and forth they go, each outpowering the other. Finally, Nash goes for the Jackknife, but it is reversed, dropping him backward. He tries to hit a running big boot, but Heidenreich catches him in the spinning sidewalk slam and gets the pin. He celebrates as we cut to Foley's office, as HBK and Hall come in.)
Foley: This will be quick. You are both being given the night off, and you will not be needed on Raw. We are going to give you both a unique opportunity. You will take your time off to think of an opponent of your choice for each other. You may choose anyone you wish from the roster, so long as they agree. Now, get out of my sight, both of you. I'm tired of dealing with the damage you cause.
JR: What a huge announcement! This is a huge chance for both men to strike a massive blow.
Tenay: But who are they going to find? Neither man is exactly popular in the locker room.
JR: But that also means they both have tons of enemies who would likely jump at the chance to get his hands on these men, and make themselves bigger by beating a world champ.
(Sabin's music hits, and he comes out in a ref shirt.)
JR: What is this?
Tenay: It looks like Sabin is serious about making this the match to put the X Division back on the map.
JR: It was never off the map. And if he was serious, shouldn't he let it play out right?
Tenay: What makes you think he won't, JR? Why wouldn't he call it down the center?
(Bourne and Daniels come to the ring. They are evenly matched with a lot of reversals, and high flying, often missing their marks. Everytime Daniels tries to take control, Bourne has a counter. He goes high risk, but Daniels hits a running palm strike uppercut. He is unable to launch Bourne from the ropes, as Bourne pulls him in and hits the DDT from on top of Daniels shoulders. He follows up with a quick Air Bourne. But, due to the count, Daniels kicks out at two.)
JR: Oh yeah. Right down the center.
Tenay: He probably wants a definitive winner. Whoever wins has to get a solid three count.
JR: Oh yeah. I'm sure. And If I add ketchup, my hat will taste like a steak.
(When Bourne complains and shoves him, Sabin points to his shirt. As Bourne is distracted, Daniels hits his spinning back drop, before pulling Bourne up for Angel's Wings. Sabin hits a quick three count, with Bourne barely missing the kickout.)
JR: Definitive winner huh? Wants a solid victory?
Tenay: C'mon, JR. He's not a professional. Maybe he realized that his earlier count was too slow and corrected his error.
JR: My sooner ass. You'll make any excuse for Sabin, huh?
(We go to our final commercial. When we come back to our main event, Nitro and MVP are already in the ring with Godfather waiting outside. R-Truth's music hits and he comes dancing down, only to be attacked on the ramp by Alpha Male.)
Alpha Male: I haven't beat you? You didn't lose? Let's fix that!
(He slugs away, but Truth fights back, and the two disappear backstage slugging it out. The ref demands Godfather get in, and he reluctantly does.)
JR: And Godfather's very first main event becomes a handicapped match.
Tenay: Welcome to the big time...let's see if you deserve to be here.
(Godfather puts on a good show, but even though he takes the fight to each one, rocking them back on their heels, they are able to keep tagging out. They get to recover, while he keeps wearing himself out and not healing. Finally, exhausted, he takes too long and misses the Ho Train, getting a superkick from Nitro in return. As he falls, Nitro hits the Starship Paine. MVP begs for the tag, and sets up for the Playmaker.)
JR: You can't take anything away from Godfather. He took on two former champions by himself and took them to the limit.
Tenay: But ultimately, he wasn't up to the task, JR. His one and likely only, Main Event ended just as it should.
JR: It may not be over, Tenay, look! I think we have another audible!
(Rhyno's music hits and he comes running down. MVP lets Godfather go as Rhyno jumps to the apron. Godfather catches him from behind for a Pimp Drop. Rhyno holds out his hand and Godfather makes the tag. Rhyno comes in and cleans house on the other already exhausted men. Goring Nitro off the apron, he Gores MVP and then tags Godfather back in for the pin. He stands guard while the ref counts three. And we go off the air with Godfather and Rhyno celebrating in the ring.)
