Post by Johnny Mason on May 23, 2021 16:00:35 GMT -5
There are some people out there who think that every relationship is meaningful, even the smallest interactions.
I don’t disagree with that statement.
In fact I feel like us as humans use that as an excuse to use the people around us for our own personal gain.
We’re all guilty of it.
Every single one of us.
You have used me, and I have used you.
But somewhere along the line I got too comfortable.
Somehow,
I let myself get close to you.
I don’t know if I did it out of habit or because you’re the only one that’s in my life now.
I keep telling myself that i’m not an idiot.
That I’m self aware enough that I can at least know in my head what the right thing to do is.
To tell you the truth, I wish I could of done it to you before I allowed it to happen to me.
There’s no avoiding it.
We are who we are.
But for the longest time I haven’t known who I am.
SuperBrawl was my big moment.
The night that I should have proved why I’m the champion by beating Mesh in the middle of that ring.
Some might say I got carried away, but I did everything I said I was going to do.
All I want to do is win and I felt like I did prove myself.
Yes the match was brutal but what was engraved into my brain was this is what I have to do to keep my championship.
I did it.
But you took it away from me.
You took away my moment.
You took away my title.
Then you spat on me.
It’s like if someone you were close to, someone you looked up to, was diagnosed with cancer.
They scratch and they crawl and they fight every day of their life.
And you get used to it.
It’s been like that for so long so you get used to them being sick that when they die you’re shocked.
You knew it was going to happen eventually.
But you always think it won’t happen now.
Tyson your cancer ate up everything and you got what you wanted.
It killed the both of us.
Johnny Mason comfortably sits back in his recliner.
His cheap PBR beer in his hand (and scattered around the floor) is accompanied by cigar smoke that consumes the entire room like the powder EBR throws in the air for his cheap pop.
“ Hey, how’s it going? Have you been alright? “
Taking a rare break from guzzling down his abuse of choice, he’s using his phone to do something even rarer,
Have some human interaction.
“Oh hey, I’ve been alright...”
“That’s great. I’ve been alright as well.”
Not just interaction from any human,
But interaction from somebody that has seen Johnny at his worst.
Someone who was there when his son died.
“ It’s been awhile since I’ve heard from you.”
“ Yeah, I’ve been focusing on my wrestling career-
“ I’ve seen”
Oh great, Johnny thinks to himself
She’s seen how far I’ve came.
“ I’m just glad I’ve had so much success after everything I’ve been through. You’ve seen the worse of it Hannah.”
There’s a pause
“ It’s good to see you have success Johnny. I think I’m going to get off here. Have a good-
“ Why are you getting off here? I figured you’d want to talk to me after all this time. “
“ After all this time? I was there for you through everything and you just ghosted me. “
“ I did what I had to do and look at me now, I’m the Vanguard Champion.”
He looks down in his lap to where his title usually is, only to remember that Tyson took off with it
“ As I said before, I’ve seen. I’ve seen every single show Johnny.”
“ Look at what you’ve done to people. Look at what you just did to Mesh...”
“ I’m winning though.”
“ But look at how low you’re stooping.”
“ I can’t support that”
Before Johnny can say anything else he hears a beep signaling that he’s just been hung up on.
Out of anger he throws his phone against the wall causing it to shatter into multiple pieces.
After awhile, everything fades.
The happiness
All the fake sh*t
And even all of the pain
The happiness fades first.
Quicker than how it even got there to begin with.
So you fake everything, hoping that it’ll get you back to being happy.
In the process of the yearning to be happy again you lose sight of it so much that you aren’t faking it for that anymore.
You’re just faking it to stay alive.
When you don’t have the energy to fake it anymore then that’s when the pain comes in stronger than it ever has before.
Stronger than you thought was possible.
You might turn to self harming.
That escalates quickly and you push it farther and farther until one day you sit there with multiple suicide attempts praying for god to end it.
He doesn’t.
You don’t believe in him anymore.
You don’t believe in anything
You’re a pushover.
Spineless.
Worthless.
But in the end, what’s it do?
It fades.
You start to find hope again only to repeat it again and again.
The numbness even fades, did I mention that?
With his face against the cold wooden floor of his living room, Johnny awakens not knowing how his night ended.
He remembers the phone call, drinking a bit more, and now this.
Hungover, he manages to sit up, before lifting himself back into his chair that looks over all of the damage.
More beer cans in the floor to add to the total, surround the last couple night’s takeout boxes he didn’t throw away that are beginning to smell.
What the f*ck am I thinking?
Usually around this time I’m focused in on my opponent so much that nothing else matters.
Now I can’t seem to find the inspiration to even get out of the house.
I guess Tyson is getting what he wanted,
But he won’t get what he doesn’t deserve and that’s MY Vanguard Championship.
He’s not a hard man to find and I’m only going to see him once.
Then nobody will have to deal with him again.
And for his new “protege” Dion Jackson,
Nothing but an afterthought.
A kid in way over his head that’s never going to make it into this business.
Tyson can get someone new to fight his battles for him every single day until I find him.
But what’s a protege, to a prodigy?
When I think about EBR, the first thing that comes to mind are the championships he’s won.
Hell, the number of titles he’s won is higher than the number of matches I’ve been in.
He has wrested since I was a kid but there’s still a title he has never won.
The Vanguard Championship.
Now you might be thinking why would he even compete for it.
He’s a veteran, and that title is for future stars.
See there’s still a stigma around my championship.
Caused by how much it was brought down by Mesh and Anna.
The championship doesn’t make the wrestler.
The wrestler makes the championship.
I am the longest reigning champion in all of the WFWF.
And the longest reigning Vanguard Champion of all time.
If Tyson didn’t steal it away from me I’d want nothing less than to defend it against EBR.
But since there’s no title on the line it’s just turned into another match where I need to prove myself against another hall of famer.
Let’s be honest here
Nobody thinks I’m going to win.
It’s been like that for every f*cking match I’ve been in lately.
Remember when I looked “good in defeat” against the now World Champion Josh Dean.
Or at Superbrawl where everyone expected the Mesh of old, and there’s no way I could win that either.
Well we all know what happened there.
So I’m not going to say I’m going to win.
I’m not going to say I’ll retire him and stand over his corpse.
I’m going to give it my all as I ALWAYS do.
And if it’s not enough,
If I fall short or look good in defeat,
It’s what’s expected of me.
Right?
