Post by vampiroporvida on Mar 13, 2022 22:03:01 GMT -5
Honestly, a 2. I have had steady depression since I was around 19. Deaths of my grandma, and my father, compounded with a multitude of situations that have arisen since, in job, home, life, and as a caregiver, has made everything super rough. I keep hoping my rollercoaster of life will begin a climb one day....until then I put one foot in front of the other and keep trudging along.
Post by Kollector_Kombat on Mar 14, 2022 11:10:44 GMT -5
I'd honestly give myself around a high 6 currently. Things could be better but they can also be a lot worse. I deal with depression and anxiety bad but I try to maintain a positive attitude and try not to take anything too seriously anymore.
Of course the days fluctuate and I can see myself getting down to a low 2-3 depending on how I'm feeling, what's happening, and how the day goes but I put effort into trying to have good days.
There was a point in the past 5 years where I was 0-1 almost all the time. It got so bad my body started having physical reactions and shutting down due to the extreme anxiety. I needed help and got it and now here we are.
Post by Grumpyoldman on Mar 14, 2022 17:29:56 GMT -5
What's my user name?
It is not necessary to believe in God to be a good person. In a way, the traditional notion of God is outdated. One can be spiritual but not religious. Some of the best people in history did not believe in God, while some of the worst deeds were done in his name.
I'm at a stage in my life where I'm comfortable with my life and outlook. Unfortunately I have an illness where I can't work or even leave the house much, so I've just kind of accepted it now and I'm of the opinion that you work with the hand your dealt.
On a regular day, seeing the kids after school, spending time with my family makes me happy. My collecting makes me happy, my love of football makes me happy.
On a bad mental health day, I don't even want to get out of bed.
That's the nature of living with schizophrenia I guess.
I'm working on it. I spent a good portion of last year really unhappy with my lot in life, in particular the way I'd begun living for my job. I wound up blaming a lot of my own shortcomings on the job, and explored avenues to try and leave toward the end of the year. That process only seemed to aggravate my already dwindling mental well-being, and as a result, I wound up getting flakey with recruiters, etc. In January, my whole family came down with Covid, and a lot of the anxieties that I had toward my job kind of washed away. I've always been built with this retail-induced anxiety that getting ill could potentially mean losing my means of living, but I wound up working from home for practically the entire month that my family and I churned through Covid, and my company was really supportive and understanding, which seems like the obvious thing to do, but for me, it was sort of the "breakthrough" I needed to kind of reconcile the role they play in my life as a whole.
Coming out of that, I made the conscious decision to compartmentalize my life, and to begin spending my free time more aggressively pursuing my passions, which can't be used to make a living, but do make my life feel more enriched and purpose driven. It's already begun turning out some really exciting prospects, and I find that I'm going places I never imagined myself being able to go outside of my own imagination.
Never seen something like him, they ask Who is he?
Post by The Beast Slayer on Mar 20, 2022 20:21:57 GMT -5
You know what? Very.
After a bad breakup in the summer, becoming extremely depressed, suicidal and thinking my life was done and that I'd never be happy again, I bounced back fairly quickly. Late June was when everything turned upside down, I won't get into it but from there I was deeply depressed for the entire summer, July and August. Had to move back in with my mum and we don't get on well together at all. And all she was doing was drinking herself silly all summer and driving me absolutely insane with her nasty behaviour, aside from the drinking, she's just an absolutey drama magnet. (She's since sorted herself drinking etc out or at least so it seems).
It got so bad that I struggled to get up in the mornings, didn't want to get up, had to take some time off of work and just didn't see the point in... well anything. I'd be going to work and thinking what's the point, I'm just existing and had no purpose. I'd hear about someone dying and would literally get jealous of them because the only thing I looked forward to was sleeping at night to escape from life just for a little while. Waking up was very difficult. I was thinking about and researching suicide methods every single minute of every day. I felt completely isolated from everyone else around me as if I was a ghost stuck in limbo walking the earth. After many suicidal thoughts and coming extremely close with attempting it more than once, I finally got proper help in the form of antidepressants because talking to people was not helping at all. I thought it couldn't hurt to try so asked my doctor if I could go on them and finally did at the beginning of September.
Almost immediately they helped and I couldn't believe it. I started talking to a girl on Bumble that week and asked her out on a date, had the date, it went really well and I went home that evening and couldn't stop smiling. I was genuinely happy for the first time in months and that's what I consider the turning point. We talked every day and in the end she realised she wasn't ready for anything serious so we've just become friends, but I truly feel like she helped save my life.
My plan was to save money and get a house the hell out of my mum's and back to the neighbourhood that I was previously living in. That feeling of optimism kept me motivated. The plan was to be out of there by this summer. But with my mum doing my ing head in and being absolutely impossible to be around and the girl I'd been talking to wanting to hang out, I ended up thinking it and applying for a place that I saw online in the exact place I wanted to live. I went to see the place and it looked so much better in person, applied and I got it. I love this place, genuinely so happy here and it's recently dawned on me that I'm now in the position I used to dream about years ago even before I met my ex. Having money, my own nice place and being able to do what I want.
Looking back, last summer almost feels like a different life that never actually happened, like it was some alternate universe stuff. I don't count that summer as even being cannon to my life. I never imagined I'd be able to look back on that period of my life and laugh like people said I would. Or that it would get better like so many people had told me, but they were absolutely right. I love waking up now. I'm back on top of the world, better than I ever was before.