Post by WCWA Online on Jul 4, 2024 14:31:59 GMT -5
WCWA Presents
“Surprise Drop”
From the Richmond High School in Richmond, Ohio
Streaming Live on IWTV
July 4th 2024.
“20 Years of WCWA”
In 5… 4… 3…. 2….
The familiar scene of the landing on the moon plays through, ending with the planting of a flag reading “IWTV”. It’s the cold open for live streaming on independentwrestling.tv. From there, it’s a black screen.
There’s a quick transition of hard VHS static. A black and white shot of Chris Hero appears, surrounded by his Kings of Wrestling. Another quick transition, this time to Eddie Kingston, a menacing glare on his face as he stands at the top of the ramp, possibly a mirror image of the first shot, still in black and white. Another quick transition, this time to Tommy End holding the WCWA championship high over head, then a transition to Danny Havoc, bleeding profusely from every orifice. There’s a small beat in the background, but it’s beginning to pick up steam.
We’re now in color. Quick shots of very unfamiliar faces to a WCWA audience, but very familiar to the fans on IWTV, Cole Radrick, Jordan Oliver, the reigning Independent Wrestling World Champion Krule, holding his championship high over head, Neil Diamond Cutter, and a face no one expected to see, AC Mack. These quick transitions all bring us..
LIVE! To a very small auditorium configured with maybe six hundred seats, mostly bleachers with a few rows of chairs on the floor and bare metal guardrails. The floors are covered with a black mat, but it really only covers inside of the guardrails and towards the staging area. The entire crowd is a noticeable gym floor, the brown wood shining as the camera pans through the excited crowd. A familiar voice rings through the broadcast of Joe Dombrowski.
Joe Dombrowski: It’s been far too long, but we are LIVE all around the world on Independent Wrestling.TV for the RETURN of World Championship Wrestling Alliance! I’m Joe Dombrowski, bringing you all the action from ringside, and with no time to waste, let’s send up to our ring announcer, Zane Pasley!
The hard cam shot quickly switches to a floor cam shot of the ring announcer, Zane Pasley, standing center ring, clad in a suit and holding a microphone branded with the WCWA logo.
Zane Pasley: Welcome, to the return of WCWA! Our opening contest is set for one fall..
The mandatory echo from the crowd of “one fall” rings through the small building.
Zane Pasley: With a fifteen minute time limit, your referee is Mr. Jake Clemons.
Referee Jake Clemons appears seemingly out of nowhere, quickly saluting the hard cam as we immediately cut to the stage. It’s a small stage, mostly metal and maybe three steps off the ground, a lighting rig mounted over a truss on the small platform. Banners with the WCWA logo hang on both sides of the lighting truss and a black curtain blocks the backstage area. The very familiar sound of “Ninja Rap” by Vanilla Ice begins to ring through the building and “The Neon Ninja” Michael Façade emerges through the curtain, a spray paint can in hand.
Zane Pasley: Introducing first, from Pot Vue, Pennsylvania and representing the BLK Out, he roams at night, creepin’ while you’re sleepin’, “The Neon Ninja” Michael Façade!
Façade is greeted by the crowd with a round of ovations and the fans at home are greeted by another familiar voice, Allison Danger.
Allison Danger: Representing the BLK Out?? We have continuity still!?
Joe Dombrowski: The voice you hear is of my broadcast partner, would you like to introduce yourself to the fans at home?
Allison Danger: Look Joe, if they don’t know who I am, they’re watching the wrong stream. But like Façade, I’m a BLK Out OG, at least around these parts, former WCWA Women’s Champion, the Queen of WCWA, Allison Danger, and I gotta say Joe, it feels good to be back at ringside. Not the same feel as HBO, but we’ll move on past that right!?
Façade has entered the ring, spraying his spray paint into the air from the second rope. He hops down from the ring ropes as his music cuts off. He quickly removes his neon green and black ring jacket and the green bandana that was covering his face, throwing them aside as Referee Clemons makes a quick check for foreign objects.
Zane Pasley: And his opponent..
“All My Friends are Dead” by CKY hits over the P/A system and Cole Radrick comes RUSHING upon the stage, a bundle full of energy. He runs down the ramp sideways, getting right into one of the floor cams and nearly knocking the camera man on his ass.
Allison Danger: Gerry, Gerry you see that? He almost took a bump! What do you mean I’m not supposed to talk to you? Then give me an ear piece!
Zane Pasley: From Bloomington, Indiana, he is THE RADDY DADDY, Cole RADRICK!
Cole has hit the ring, quickly peeling off his Indianapolis Colts jersey and throwing it aside. Referee makes a quick check of Cole’s bright red kickpads for foreign objects then immediately calls for the bell. Bell sounds and we’re under way.
Joe Dombrowski: And with that, WCWA is back!
Allison Danger: Feeling like Bender, we’re back baby!
Joe Dombrowski: Young man making his WCWA debut out of Bloomington, Indiana, Cole Radrick in the red with the white trim. He’s a seven year pro and has seen action in Game Changer Wrestling, Black Label Pro, New Wave Pro Wrestling, as well as IWA Mid South. On the other side of the ring in the green and black, a WCWA OG, Michael Façade, a seventeen year pro who since the closing of WCWA, has toured all around the world seeing action in Germany, Switzerland, The Netherlands, Russia, and even Cambodia! You may have also seen Façade in Roddy Piper’s final movie, Pro Wrestlers versus Zombies.
Allison Danger: You have NOTES?! What is this??
Joe Dombowski: I’m just trying to be prepared and help bring some information to the fans at home.
Allison Danger: WHO TOLD YOU TO DO THAT??
Both men circle around the ring. Color and elbow tie up. Both men jockey for position. Cole breaks one hand free and slaps Façade in the stomach before taking off for the ropes. Springboard to the second rope and Cole bounces off, bringing Façade with him for a big arm drag, but Façade lands on his feet! Cole back up, he rushes at Façade, big arm drag from Façade. Cole scrambles back, a second arm drag. Cole rolls to the outside. Façade looks to be going for a dive, but Cole side steps it, causing Façade to put on the breaks and avoid the crash and burn on the dive.
Allison Danger: Lightening fast action to open up our broadcast. I’d be remiss to ask though, who the hell are you??
Joe Dombrowski: I’m Joe Dombrowski, I’ve been involved in wrestling for..
Allison Danger: Where’s Ben?
Joe Dombrowski: Well, a lot has changed since the last time WCWA was on the air and..
Allison Danger: DID YOU DO SOMETHING TO BEN??
Joe Dombrowski: A LOT HAS CHANGED since the last time WCWA was on the air and we’ll be doing our best to make note of these changes as the show progresses.
Allison Danger: What do you mean? Nothing’s changed, we’ve been in a catatonic state for the last few years.
Joe Dombrowski: Didn’t you get hired and fired by the WWE?
Allison Danger: That’s not my fault, Joe, there was a global pandemic.
Joe Dombrowski: My point exactly, and as such, we’ll try to get you, the fans, up to date as the show progresses!
Radrick slides back in the ring, Façade approaches and Radrick cuts him off with a shoulder to the gut. Turn around from Radrick into a quick springboard into the ropes, and a cutter. Radrick down for the cover, referee Clemons makes the count, 1…2. Kickout from Façade.
Joe Dombrowski: Barely a two from that, gonna take more than a flash cutter to put away Michael Façade.
Allison Danger: Wrestling has got a lot more cuttery since we were last here. Where’d all the cutters come from? In my day, the only cutters in the ring were doing deathmatches.
Radrick pulls Façade up. Façade fights off of it. Couple of punches to the gut and a shove into the ropes. Façade charges at Cole Radrick, Radrick gets underneath him and dumps him over the top rope with a backdrop. Façade all the way up and over to the floor. Cole’s got a mischievous smirk on his face. He calls to the crowd for support, stomping around a little bit as Façade gets back to a vertical base. Cole darts into the far ropes, then back to the near ropes where he propels himself over the top rope, hurdling himself at Façade with a cannonball senton. Both men go crashing backwards into the ringside barricades.
Allison Danger: Reckless action from these two, something to prove here in the relaunch.
Joe Dombrowski: The old guard want to ensure they still have their spot, the new guard are wanting to keep the spot they’re given. I expect we’ll see more of this extremely fast paced and competitive offense.
Cole finds a chair at ringside. He brings it towards Façade. In the ring, referee Jake Clemons warns of a disqualification. But Cole isn’t looking to swing the chair. He sets the chair up, then scoops Façade up, placing him in the chair in a sitting position. Cole hops to the apron. He’s looking down at the prone Façade. He runs the length of the apron, diving off with a somersault senton, but Façade moves out of the way and Cole Radrick lands on nothing but chair, completely obliterating the steel chair in the process.
Allison Danger: A lot of places would see the use of a chair as a disqualification. Here it’s just a regular match.
Joe Dombowski: It is left to the referee’s discretion and while the referees have been extremely lenient in the past, there will be rules enforced.
Allison Danger: Rules schmooles
Joe Dombrowski: We’re going to be in a commission state soon, Allison.
Allison Danger: Where?
Joe Dombrowski: Kentucky.
Allison Danger: With the blood ban? Hah.
Cole is stunned but Façade isn’t letting up. Façade rolls into the ring. Without a moment’s notice, he scrambles to his feet, quickly grabs the top rope and springboards up and other to the floor towards Cole Radrick. But Cole sees him coming! Cole sidesteps the big dive. Façade lands on his feet. Cole comes from behind with a push, shoving Façade into the ring post.
Allison Danger: It’s like a human demolition derby out here tonight.
Joe Dombrowski: Both men with a lot to prove in our opening match. They’re looking to not only cement their spot here in WCWA, but also move up the ladder in title contention for the IWTV World Championship, which can mean a lot more opportunities elsewhere in wrestling and a HUGE BELLY TO BELLY ON THE FLOOR!
As Joe and Allison banter and as Joe called it, the action continues. Façade stumbles away from the ring post, Cole grabs him and goes for a swinging neck breaker. Façade spins out of it. Big time swinging belly to belly on the floor and the thud that Cole Radrick’s body makes on the floor shows the mats on the floor are much more for the protection of the floor rather than the wrestlers. Façade wastes no time. He hops to the apron.
Joe Dombrowski: Moonsault off the apron and he catches all of it!
Allison Danger: The label not the stable, Façade representing the BLK Out proudly, what a maneuver!
Joe Dombrowski: We’re going there?
Allison Danger: He’s erased, it’s free game now, Go Rill Ah.
Joe Dombrowski: But Mr. Ventura is not erased!
Allison Danger: Yeah but he’s a wacko conspiracy theorist, free game!
Façade back to his feet and so are the fans. Façade pulls Cole up and rolls him back into the ring. Façade to the ring apron, then all the way to the top rope. He comes flying off with a sky twister press, but he doesn’t have Cole stunned nearly enough and Cole gets his knees up. Façade crashes and burns over Cole’s knees. Cole back to his feet. He quickly grabs Façade and slams him head first into the mat!
Joe Dombrowski: Little Sabastian’s Curse! That’s the signature move of Cole Radrick!
Cole with a cover, referee Clemons down for the count, 1…. 2…. Façade with a foot on the ropes.
Allison Danger: If Cole would’ve taken just a couple of seconds to reposition him, this one might’ve been over.
Cole’s got his head in his hands, he can’t believe it. He also can’t believe the loud HUSHHHHH!! That echos through the arena.
Allison Danger: What is that?
Joe Dombrowski: Who is that, is more accurate, and I know exactly who it is..
With a black backwards baseball cap and a bulletproof vest on, AC Mack emerges through the curtain holding a microphone.
AC Mack: I SAID HUSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
The crowd reacts in exactly the opposite way, getting much louder, but now with boos.
AC Mack: I’ve been in the back of this rinky dink arena and can’t get any peace with all this noise, then when I come out here, I see this Bob Backlund looking dork Cole Radrick bouncing all around in that ring, MY ring.. HUSH!
Mack’s frustrations to no one in particular are met with the ire of the entire crowd.
AC Mack: When you should all be celebrating, because this glorious day is the day that I, the Mack of ALL Trades, AC Mack, return to the ring. The first openly gay, black, WORLD Champion, I SAID HUSH!
The crowd boos even louder.
AC Mack: Ya’ll gonna make me rush through what I’m sayin’..
The action continues in the ring, with Façade having recovered. Double push sends Cole Radrick into the buckles, Façade follows him in with a cutter, except Façade throws his legs over the top rope, spinning around and driving Cole Radrick’s face into the canvas. AC Mack has now made his way to ringside.
AC Mack: Man, you people STINK, haven’t any of ya’ll heard of deodorant? How about a toothbrush? Nevermind I see ya’ll got one tooth between you, you’re good there.
Joe Dombrowski: AC Mack doing nothing to endear himself to these fans, but why’s he out here?
Allison Danger: I have no idea, Joe.
Façade pulls Cole back to a vertical base. Cole fights off. Big slap from the left, the right, left again, Cole trying to fight out of it but Façade cuts him off with a spinning kick to the mid section. Cole doubles over. Façade hoists Cole over his shoulders in a torture rack position, but just keeps swinging him, dumping him directly on his head.
AC Mack: OHHH, that looked like it hurt!
Allison Danger: Hey, aren’t we on commentary?
Joe Dombrowski: You want to make the call?
Allison Danger: OHHH, that looked like it hurt!
Joe Dombrowski: The excellent play by play of one Allison Danger..
Façade isn’t finished. He pulls Cole back up. Double underhook and he lifts Cole high in the air, dumping him RIGHT on his head with a piledriver.
Joe Drombrowski: LIGHTS OUT!
Façade quickly down for the cover, referee Jake Clemons makes the count, 1….2….3! Bell sounds, Zane Pasley makes it official.
Zane Pasley: Your winner of this match, “The Neon Ninja” Michael FAÇADE!
“Ninja Rap” hits over the speakers again, but is immediately cut off by AC Mack.
AC Mack: Cut that crap off!
Mack rolls into the ring under the bottom rope. Referee Jake Clemons keeps an eye on him, Façade keeps a closer eye on him.
AC Mack: We ain’t doin’ that Vanilla Ice crap around here any more, ya understand? I told you backstage, we ain’t doin that no more.
Allison Danger: Backstage…?
The crowd is as confused as Allison, booing in anger and confusion.
AC Mack: HUSH! Ya’ll think you know exactly what’s up, huh? And you..
Mack motions to Façade.
AC Mack: You know exactly what’s up, huh Michael? Mike? Mikey? Wanna tell the class?
Mack laughs a boisterous, obnoxious laugh directly into the microphone then unzips his bulletproof vest. He quickly undoes the two buckles, pulling the vest off over his head and tossing it aside. Underneath the vest, he had on a traditional BLK Out logo shirt in the style of Run DMC.
Allison Danger: What the HELL?
AC Mack: Mikey, Mike, Mikel, you wanna introduce your friends to me? No? Well let me do the honors, as I am standing in the center of MY ring, Born and raised in the SWATS, Atlanta, Georgia, weighing in at a svelte, ripped, chiseled, and jacked two hundred and ten pounds, I am the former and soon to be again Independent Wrestling WORLD champion, the Mack of All Trades.. AND THE LEADER, OF THE BLK OUT, AC Mack! HUSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
AC tries to silence the crowd, who’s having none of this.
AC Mack: Tell the class, Mikey, all your comrads left you, and you came on down to WWA4 with Dani Mo looking for someone to watch your back. And who’d you find? WHO’D YOU COME TO? You came to the number one draft pick, you came to AC Mack, and I told you, Michael, Mikey, Mikel, that If we were doing this, we were doing it my way HUSHHHHHHH!!!
AC’s hushes do nothing to hush the crowd.
Joe Dombrowski: These fans having none of AC Mack.
AC Mack: So Michael, Mikey, Mikel, tell your little friends, we’ll see them later, cause you done did what you set out to do, and you beat that Leave it to Beaver lookin’ fool clean in the center. Now hit MY music.
“Cold.1” by Kayne West & DJ Khaled hits and AC Mack and reluctantly, Michael Façade exit the ring and head towards the back.
Joe Dombrowski: Let’s send it to our interview area, where Dylan Hales is standing by.
Hard cut to the interview area, where Dylan Hales stands in front of a step and repeat banner bearing the WCWA logo and IWTV MTV-esque parody logo.
Dylan Hales: I’d like to formally introduce myself, my name is Dylan Hales and in addition to being a backstage correspondent for WCWA, I also represent the IWTV Board of Directors. As noted in this month’s edition of Pro Wrestling Illustrated, the WCWA Championship Committee will be recognizing the IWTV World Champion as it’s main championship, at least for the time being, and at this time I’d like to bring in my guest, the Independent Wrestling World Champion, “The Atrocity” KRULE!
Clad in green camouflage, a black wife beater and an unmistakable mask, the nearly seven foot tall Krule steps into the frame, making the normal sized Dylan Hales look like a child in comparison.
Dylan Hales: Krule, as the reigning IWTV Independent Wrestling World Champion, and in the absence of the WCWA World Heavyweight championship, you have to be seen as the top of the heap in this prestigious promotion upon relaunch. Any thoughts on this?
Krule, menacingly, looks at the camera and puffs a savage growl, causing Dylan to noticeably jump backwards. With that, Krule walks off scene, leaving Dylan with the microphone alone.
Dylan Hales: Joe, Allison, back to you at ringside..
Cut to the ringside desk for the first time, where Joe Dombrowski sits in a black suit with a red shirt and Allison Danger sits next to him, clad in the MTV parody IWTV logo black t-shirt. Both have headsets on and a variety of technology sits splayed in front of them.
Joe Dombrowski: Big news, the WCWA Championship committee recognizing the IWTV Independent World championship and it’s champion, Krule!
Allison Danger: Where’s our champ at, anyhow?
Joe Dombrowski: Didn’t you see him in Orlando? Back to Zane for our next contest!
Cut back to the ring, Zane Pasley standing center ring.
Zane Pasley: Our next match is a SIX MAN TAG TEAM MATCH, set for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit, and to be fought under lucha libre rules! Your referee is Kat Carter!
Kat raises her hand to the crowd.
Allison Danger: Shoutout girl ref, how you doin?
Joe Dombrowski: A degree of professionalism, if you will, Allison!
“Paint it Black” by the Rolling Stones hits over the P/A system and a familiar face makes her way through the curtain. In a short black skirt with matching tank top and a tiny top hat, Lacey is the first through the curtain. Following her in a plain black singlet but with his face painted blue and white, matching the dye in his stringy hair is Tripp Cassidy, then in red and white pin strip tights and a ring leader coat, Nick Iggy, and finally bringing up the rear in a black singlet with red striping and a gremlin mask, Kerry Awful.
Zane Pasley: Introducing team number one, being accompanied to the ring by The Hostess of the Carnival, the Lovely Lacey, first, he is “Your Imaginary Friend, The Lucha Boogeyman” Tripp Cassidy! His partner, “The Gargoyle” Kerry Awful! And their tag team partner, he is “The Ringleader” Nick Iggy, together, they are The Carnies!
All three Carnies and Lacey make their way to the ring, Iggy being the most animated as he seemingly is directing the music as he walks. Awful is the first to the apron, parting the second and bottom ropes for Lacey to enter the ring.
Allison Danger: When we last saw Lacey, she had a couple of angels at her side. Now she’s with a carnival? What happened to Lacey’s Angels?
Joe Dombowski: I think they have other obligations..
Allison Danger: Well that bites.
Joe Dombrowski: Be that as it may..
Allison Danger: Hey Ace Steel, how you doin?
Joe Dombrowski: BE THAT AS IT MAY, we’re set for trios action under lucha rules here, as the debuting Carnies, Nick Iggy, Kerry Awful, and Tripp Cassidy, led to the ring by Lacey are already in the ring, and let’s send it up to Zane Pasley for team number two!
Zane Pasley: And their opponents..
“Control Machete” by Ileso hits over the P/A system and several masked wrestlers emerge through the curtain. First in a red mask with white trim and a matching sparking red cape, Aero Boy. Behind him, the only unmasked of the trio, in black trunks with pink trim, Paymon, and bringing up the rear in a blue mask with green trim with matching tights, Shyru Jr.
Zane Pasley: Team number two, first “El Heroe Clandestino” Aero Boy! His tag team partner, “La Perla de Occidente” Paymon! And their partner, “Joven Fuerte” Shyru Jr!
The three luchadors make their way to the ring, slapping ringside fans hands in route to the ring. Paymon finds a camera and does a little sexy dance for it as the other two circle around the ring.
Joe Dombrowski: Quick facts about team number two, Aero Boy from Tulancingo, Hidalgo, Mexico is a twenty year veteran of the sport, trained under the legendary Crazy Boy, and primarily competes in deathmatch competition, lucha extrema if you will. The scars and lines on his body tell a story. His partner, the exotic Paymon, a twelve year vet out of Guadalajara he fancies himself as “the most beautiful man alive”. And their partner, Shyru Jr, a second generation wrestler and son of the legendary Shyru Dragon, actually making his American wrestling debut here tonight in this trios match.
The three climb into the ring and immediately, Shyru Jr pulls his mask off and throws it directly at Tripp Cassidy.
Joe Dombrowski: Shyru Jr actually lost the mask in a bout in Jalisco a few years ago, and now only wears the mask as part of his entrance attire.
Allison Danger: HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THESE THINGS??
Tripp is extremely irritated at first, then grabs the mask and puts it on himself. Referee Kat Carter is having none of it, demanding Tripp remove the mask and return it to the luchador corner. Tripp instead goes to his corner and grabs the tag rope, holding it up in an elaborate fashion.
Allison Danger: If they can wear masks, why can’t he?
Joe Dombrowski: Because for one, it’s not his mask, and it’s extremely disrespectful to the heritage of the Mexican wrestlers to don a mask without any care.
Allison Danger: Shyru threw it at him!
Joe Dombrowski: Why are you defending Tripp Cassidy??
Tripp is refusing to take the mask off. Aero Boy is removing his entrance garb but in the mayhem of Tripp stealing a mask, Paymon has taken the time to do a sexy dance at Lacey, shaking his hips in a suggestive manner at her at ringside. Lacey is having none of it, and neither is Kerry Awful, who rushes into the ring. Referee Kat Carter stops him. Paymon back to the luchador corner. Kerry protests first to referee Kat by doing a pantomime sexy dance, then to Lacey, then to Nick Iggy. Iggy comforts Kerry with a hug in the corner.
Allison Danger: All hell is breaking loose and the match hasn’t even started yet.
Paymon comes from behind the hug and gooses Kerry on the butt. All three Carnies are engaged by this, Tripp and Iggy into the ring to support Kerry. Referee Kat Carter doing her absolute best to maintain order until the match actually begins. Aero Boy, the only one who hasn’t caused an incident yet, decides to get in the ruckus and slaps Nick Iggy across the face for no clear reason. Iggy breaks away from the group, spearing Aero Boy and bringing him across the ring, through the ropes, and to the floor. With Kat distracted, Paymon dives on Awful, the two of them spilling to the outside on the other side through the top and middle ropes. With only two wrestlers remaining in the ring, Kat takes it with as much control as she’ll have and calls for the bell, officially starting this match.
Joe Dombrowski: Bell sounds and we are under way. Trios action here under lucha libre rules, meaning no tag necessary. Rolling to the outside constitutes a tag in this rules system and this one is surely going to be wild.
Allison Danger: It already has been! There’s mask stealing, butt slapping, sexy dances, what is happening??
Tripp Cassidy and Shyru Jr the only two in the ring, Tripp still wearing Shyru’s mask. The two circle around. Shyru Jr sends Tripp Cassidy into the ropes. Tripp bounces back and comes back. Drop down by Shyru and an up and over by Tripp, he continues to the far ropes. Back to center ring, Tripp over this time with a leap frog. Back to the far ropes, then center ring. He’s back to meet with Shyru Jr who loudly yells “STOP!” and holds up his hands. Tripp does for some reason. Shyru points to the ceiling. Tripp looks up. Shyru Jr quickly snatches his mask back from Tripp Cassidy.
Allison Danger: Hey now! I know unmasking an opponent is a disqualification in lucha libre rules!
Joe Dombrowski: That wasn’t his mask!
Allison Danger: Does it have to be? Your winners of this match, The Carnies!
Tripp protesting the taking back of the mask. Shyru Jr stomps on his foot. Tripp up to one foot. Shyru Jr sweeps the other leg, sending Tripp to the canvas. Shyru goes to drop an elbow but Tripp rolls out of the way. Tripp rolls all the way out of the ring, because as Shyru gets back to his feet, he’s plowed over by a charging Kerry Awful.
Joe Dombrowski: Kerry Awful, the largest man in the match, a twelve year veteran trained by the legendary “Dirty” Dutch Mantell.
Allison Danger: He’s got a lot of interesting tattoos as well. The illustrated man in there.
Kerry pulls Shyru back to his feet. Scoop and a slam by Kerry. Kerry’s still stuck on the sexy dancing, mocking sexy dancing at Shyru Jr, who rolls to the outside for safety from the sexy dances. But from behind, it’s Paymon. He taps Kerry on the shoulders. Kerry doesn’t respond, brushing him away. Another tap. He brushes Paymon off again. Paymon spins Kerry around. A big sexy dance and Kerry Awful bumps to the ground in shock! Paymon very full of himself as he shows off for the crowd, but Nick Iggy from behind with a double forearm takes him to the mat.
Joe Dombrowski: Iggy from behind with a cheap shot!
Crowd boos as both Iggy and Awful go to work on Paymon. Referee Kat Carter tries to get one of them out of the ring as the two stomp and kick away at the downed Paymon. Aero Boy into the ring to break it up. He grabs Kerry Awful and dumps him through the ropes and to the floor. Iggy isn’t having it. Big slap attempt by Iggy and it’s ducked by Aero Boy. Aero Boy grabs Iggy by the back of the head and sends him sailing over the top rope, sending him crashing into Kerry Awful on the floor.
Allison Danger: Carnies are having a heck of a time controlling the trio from Mexico.
Joe Dombrowski: Lots of unorthodox offense from the lucha libre contingent.
Both Iggy and Awful slowly back to their feet. Aero Boy runs in their direction. Jump to the second rope, springboard to the top, and a twisting press to the floor from Aero Boy wipes out both Kerry Awful and Nick Iggy. Just Paymon in the ring now, slowly recovering from the attack from Awful and Iggy. He’s joined by Tripp Cassidy. Big snap suplex from Tripp decommissions Paymon once more. Aero Boy to his feet and Tripp now takes flight, running at and through the ropes, diving to the floor and wiping out Aero Boy with a clothesline.
Allison Danger: It’s take home a wrestler night here in WCWA!
Joe Dombrowski: I think the floor has got as much action as the ring so far tonight!
Shyru Jr back into the ring. The three Carnies are all to their feet, regaining their bearings on the floor but they don’t see Shyru Jr, who has scaled to the top rope. Moonsault from Shyru Jr from the top all the way to the floor takes out both Tripp Cassidy and Nick Iggy! Kerry Awful just barely side steps the collision, but he’s back in the ring. Paymon finally up again from the earlier attack, Awful not letting the sexy dance go, he does another mocking sexy dance to Paymon. Boot to the gut from Paymon brings a stop to Awful’s dancing. Paymon literally runs up Kerry Awful, using his knee, then stomach, then shoulders as a ladder. From the shoulders of Kerry Awful, Paymon dives to the floor, taking out Iggy, Cassidy, Shyru Jr and Aero Boy with a huge senton to the floor.
Joe Dombrowski: BODIES FLYING EVERYWHERE!
Allison Danger: He just used Kerry Awful as a ladder!
Picture in picture shows a replay of the dive to the floor by Paymon as everyone slowly recovers. Aero Boy is starting into the ring. He throws a chair into the ring from the floor. Kerry Awful however, pays no attention to the chair. Instead he’s waiting for everyone on the floor to get up, because it’s the big man’s time to fly. Awful runs at the ropes, diving up and over the top rope and taking out the entire pile with a big swan dive.
Allison Danger: Screw it Joe, I’m going to go do a dive now!
Joe Dombrowski: You are going to stay right here, Allison Danger, we’ve got a show to call!
Allison Danger: Hey Gerry, you want to do a dive too?
Joe Dombrowski: Stop talking to Gerry!
Aero Boy the lone wrestler in the ring and he’s got a chair in play. Referee Kat Carter trying to talk him out of using the chair. He makes a bowing motion, suggesting he’s not going to hit anyone with the chair, instead opening it up and sitting it near the ropes. Aero Boy dashes to the far ropes, stepping up onto the chair, then to the top rope. By this point the pile of wrestlers have recovered and everyone is wiped out once more like bowling pins by a twisting dive from the top rope to the floor from Aero Boy!
Allison Danger: Come on Joe, let’s dive together!
Joe Dombowski: I’m not diving!
Allison Danger: I am! I’ll do a 450!
Joe Dombrowski: YOU WILL NOT!
Everyone down and out on the floor, referee Kat Carter has no choice but to start a count out. 1….2…..3…. Shyru Jr is the first to stir, rolling back into the ring. A few moments later, he’s joined in the ring by Nick Iggy. Iggy rushes at Shryu. Tracy X from Shyru Jr takes Nick Iggy off his feet. Standing moonsault from Shyru Jr, Nick Iggy rolls out of the way, Shyru lands on his feet. Second standing moonsault and he catches all of it. Shyru into the cover, referee Kat down for the count, 1….. broken up at one by Tripp Cassidy.
Joe Dombrowski: Hardest part of these six man tag team matches is, you’ve got to keep an eye on at least five other people at all times.
Allison Danger: Eyes in the back, front, and side of your head. And even then it’s not enough.
Iggy rolls out of the ring, officially making Cassidy the legal man for the Carnies. Cassidy stomps at Shyru Jr for a moment, pulling him up and into a chin lock. He traps the left arm in the chin lock as well, stretching the arm upwards as he cranks the neck. Tripp moves to one arm holding the neck, then uses the other to pull at the fingers of the left arm of Shyru Jr, putting the luchador in an extremely unusual position.
Joe Dombrowski: Small joint manipulation by Cassidy, he’s got the fingers bent there to work them in addition to the neck.
Allison Danger: Dirty move, but not technically illegal.
With Shyru momentarily stunned, Tripp moves both hands to Shyru’s mouth, pulling at his cheeks and forcing a smile. Tripp yells out to the crowd, caught by the floor cameras, “NO ONE LEAVES THE CARNIVAL WITHOUT A SMILE!” Shyru is in agonizing pain as his cheeks are spread far beyond the point they should be. Referee Kat Carter warns to get out of the mouth.
Allison Danger: Nothing illegal there, either.
Joe Dombrowski: No but it’s understood “you don’t put fingers in your opponent’s mouth”
Allison Danger: Mick Foley did it, with a sock too. And Tripp doesn’t even have a sock on his hand. Besides, some people like fingers in their mouth, Joe.
Joe Dombrowski: And we’re going to move right along from that one, Cassidy stretching the mouth of Shyru Jr into a pseudo smile.
Shyru Jr able to break free from the grasp of Tripp Cassidy, flips him up and over. Tripp rolls back to his feet. He runs at Shyru Jr as he gets up. Arm drag from Shyru. Tripp up. Standing hurricanrana from Shyru Jr and Tripp bails to the floor. Shyru back to his feet. He’s looking for a dive, but he’s cut off by a clothesline from Nick Iggy.
Joe Dombrowski: Iggy out of nowhere with the clothesline.
Allison Danger: Gotta have eyes in the back of your head.
Iggy grabs Shyru, throwing him into the air and bringing him crashing down on his knee for a massive back breaker. Iggy goes for a cover but Shyru is quick to roll out of the ring. Iggy scoots across the ring in frustration after him, but Shyru makes the clean escape. And before Nick Iggy can get to his feet, Paymon is in the ring. Paymon rushes across the ring, driving both knees into the back of Nick Iggy’s head, riding his head into the bottom turnbuckle.
Allison Danger: Oh God! That’s a good way to lose some teeth!
Iggy bails to the outside. It’s Kerry Awful back in now. Awful comes from behind Paymon. Atomic drop from Kerry Awful, which he holds and spins into an inverted atomic drop. He’s not done yet, however, hooking Paymon’s head and lifting him into a suplex position, then dumping him over the top rope. Paymon catches nothing but floor as he sails flat back all the way to the arena floor.
Joe Dombrowski: Big combination of moves from Kerry Awful and what a horrifying finale.
Allison Danger: But it was dumb. That’s a legal tag. He did all that damage and it’s a legal tag.
And immediately, it’s Aero Boy back into the ring. Aero Boy from behind Awful with a double forearm, but Tripp Cassidy is back in with a double forearm to Aero Boy from behind. The two Carnies take control of Aero Boy with a double team. Kerry Awful becomes the focus and sole attacker, Tripp turning his attention to an object thrown in from Lacey.
Allison Danger: I knew it was a matter of time before she got involved, what was that?
Joe Dombrowski: A can of some sort?
Tripp has the can and it’s in clear view of referee Kat Carter. He’s making no effort to conceal it, either. He presses the top of the aerosol can, releasing a rope of silly string across the ring. Kat is unamused, taking the can away and disposing of it to the outside. Meanwhile, Kerry pulls Aero Boy into a full nelson, and Lacey throws in her purse to Cassidy. With the referee distracted, Tripp Cassidy rushes across the ring and drills Aero Boy in the face with the purse. Quick hand off to Kerry with the purse. Kerry bails with the evidence.
Allison Danger: Guarantee you there was more than mascara and an iphone in there..
Cassidy down for the cover. Aero Boy is out cold and the other two luchadors have been disposed of at ringside. Referee Kat down for the count, 1….2….3! Bell sounds, Zane Pasley makes it official.
Zane Pasley: Your winners of this match, the team of Tripp Cassidy, Kerry Awful, and Nick Iggy, The Carnies!
Lacey is immediately into the ring to celebrate, before even Awful and Iggy can get back in. Awful re-enters with the purse, handing it back to Lacey. Iggy has the can of silly string, which he uses to make a huge mess in the ring and all over the ropes. He’s obnoxiously spraying silly string everywhere. Shyru Jr tries to get back in the ring and Iggy first sprays him with silly string, then hits him in the face with the can with a fist drop.
Allison Danger: These gooners, they’re playing with silly string, come on.
Joe Dombrowski: And whatever was in that purse, Aero Boy is OUT!
Cassidy, however, has focused his attention on the prone Aero Boy. He’s working at getting the mask off. Crowd boos. Paymon into the ring and he clotheslines Cassidy, knocking him off Aero Boy and out of the ring. Awful considers staying to fight, but when he sees Lacey and Iggy have exited, he too makes his gracious exit from the ring. On the way up the aisle, Nick Iggy sprays ringside fans with silly string.
Joe Dombrowski: These idiots, get them out of here! Let’s send it to the back to our broadcast partner Veda Scott, standing by.
Cut to the same area Dylan Hales was in earlier. Now Veda Scott stands there in an IWTV polo with a microphone in hand.
Veda Scott: Thanks Joe. At this time, please welcome my guest, someone long time WCWA fans are no stranger to, Delirious!
Delirious comes into the frame, the feed picking up cheers from the house audio.
Delirious: Howddddaaabesb ebbebddoindnendoing Vedascccottttsccotttscott??
Veda Scott: I’m great? Delirious, welcome back to WCWA, for starters, and..
Delirious: Lememememmsmeemdme teleslslldle smomeomthing mememanmVEDASCOTT, Idkdkenn bennebnem gonegonegone far too long fromfromfkssknsmw dmedm WCWA, coming back dmkedm formmfme BELT!
Veda Scott: You’re coming for the belt?!
Delirious: Firsthsmdm Immfmagoning rormemto emdmkemmt e dmm edm KICK NATE WEBB’S ASS bakmsmenfm em dmemnlwp sammmemdm emmedn BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK!!!
Delirious exits stage left, Veda left perplexed as we switch back to the main arena shot. Zane Pasley center ring keeps the show moving.
Zane Pasley: The following contest is set for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit, your referee is Mr. Aaron Grider.
Referee Aaron Grider makes a motion to the camera. “Unorthodox Manifesto” by Dimmu Borgir hits over the P/A system and Delirious makes his way out onto the stage to a huge ovation. He’s hollering incoherent nonsense and flailing his arms his entire way towards the ring.
Zane Pasley: Introducing first, from the Edge of Sanity, he is DELIRIOUS!
Delirious has hit the ring, running in a seemingly random pattern and screaming jibberish and bawks. As his music cuts off, he briefly gains control of the house mic from Zane.
Delirious: AHMERKFN RKFMFMN QWPLLSLMMAER RMMMRMRM EWKWOME RJKME EMRRRMMMMMMM BAWK
Allison Danger: Well said, Delirious.
With the microphone back, Zane continues his introductions.
Zane Pasley: And his opponent..
The familiar tones of “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus kick up. The crowd cheers another familiar face. It takes Nate a moment to emerge through the curtain, but he finally does, heading down the ramp and immediately over the guardrail. He’s high fiving fans as he treks through the crowd. He heads towards the bleachers. Nate’s climbing the bleachers right up the middle, high fiving fans as he climbs.
Zane Pasley: Making his way to the ring, currently in the bleachers, from Beer City, by way of Flavor Country, he is “Spyder” Nate WEBB!
The song still playing, Nate has nearly made it to the top of the bleachers. Inexplicably, he’s found a basketball. He slings the basketball from the stands, the camera panning and showing a goal hanging somewhat up and at an angle on the other side of the gym. The camera follows the ball as it travels through the air, ultimately landing nowhere near the goal, but landing in the ring. Delirious recovers the ball, dropping an elbow on it and then kicking it out of the ring.
Allison Danger: He attacked the basketball!
Nate is disgusted and starts his trek down the bleachers. Teenage Dirtbag is still playing as Nate high fives fans and generally has a good time. He takes a beer from a fan, taking a big drink and handing it back. Nate finally to ringside, he hops the rail and is back towards the ring. Before climbing in the ring, he takes a moment to harass a ringside technician. Finally, with Teenage Dirtbag almost to a close, Nate climbs to the apron, then to the top rope. He does a back flip off the top rope to center ring, right as the song comes to a close. And as he gets to his feet, Delirious comes from behind with a clothesline. Figuring it is as good as he’ll get, Grider calls for the opening bell.
Joe Dombrowski: Bell sounds and we’re under way with this one, a battle between two WCWA originals.
Allison Danger: And now for something completely different!
Nate stumbles but doesn’t go down. Delirious hollers a lot, grabbing Nate by the head and pulling his bandana off. Delirious puts the bandana in his mouth as he backs Nate into the corner. Nate can be heard saying “why’s it in your mouth??” off the floor camera microphones. Delirious with a lariat in the corner but Nate rolls under it. Nate with a clothesline in the corner of his own, but Delirious rolls under it. Delirious back with a clothesline but Nate rolls under it. Nate fakes a clothesline, Delirious rolls under it, Nate then goes for a regular clothesline, Delirious still ducks, school boy from Delirious, referee down for a count, 1…. Kick out at 1 from Nate Webb
Allison Danger: Whole lot of nothing in the early goings.
Joe Dombrowski: These crafty veterans have one another well scouted.
Both men to their feet. Both go for a clothesline at the same time but see one another coming and both stop short. Hand shake center ring. Referee Grider instructs them to lock up. Nate shakes Grider’s hand. Delirious, not to be out done, also shakes Grider’s hand. Nate Webb makes the same motion for a lock up Grider did and this time, Delirious follows through and locks up with Referee Aaron Grider. Delirious easily overpowers the less powerful referee, backing him into the corner. Nate Webb starts a count, 1….2…..3…..4…. Delirious breaks at four, screaming “IGGOOOTOTTAAATTILLLL FIVVVVAHHHHHREEEFEREEEEEEEE!!!”
Allison Danger (laughing): What is happening, am I on acid?
Joe Dombrowski: No, just an old school WCWA match happening.
Allison Danger: No I’m definitely on acid.
Delirious charges in. He’s going for a clothesline on the referee. Referee ducks underneath it and on the way through, hooks Delirious’ legs. Delirious rolls over, falling into a school boy. Nate Webb down for the count, 1….2… Delirious kicks out of the referee’s accidental pinning combination at two.
Allison Danger: Referee almost won this match!
Both Delirious and referee Grider back to their feet. Delirious shoves the referee. Referee shoves back and Delirious falls to his back. He gets to his feet, screaming at the referee. Nate decides enough of the funny business and he bum rushes Delirious, who back drops Nate Webb without ever breaking his focus of inane babbling at the referee. Nate back to his feet. He comes from behind Delirious. Back slide. Referee down for the count, 1….2…. Delirious gets his shoulders off the mat by flipping all the way over.
Joe Dombrowski: Near fall off the back slide by Nate Webb.
Allison Danger: And amazing flexibility by Delirious to flip himself over like that.
Delirious now on his feet, the two still tangled in the backslide position. Delirious turns it, pulling Nate Webb up and over for a backslide. Referee down for the count again, 1….2… kick out by Nate Webb this time.
Joe Dombrowski: Another near fall off a backslide.
Allison Danger: Shades of Texas stadium!
Both men to a vertical base. Delirious charges at Nate Webb. Huge lariat sends both men sailing over the top rope and to the floor in an insane heap. Delirious back to his feet nearly immediately. He’s screaming insane babble. He grabs the basketball that Nate threw earlier, slamming it into him on the floor. Delirious grabs Nate up and rolls him back into the ring.
Joe Dombrowski: I feel like a switch just flipped in Delirious’ brain and the fun and games are over.
Allison Danger: That’s the thing with Delirious, he might be unorthodox, he might be insane, but deep down, he’s dangerous. Let’s not forget, he took Claudio Castagnoli to his limit and was nearly the one to end the undefeated streak.
Delirious back in. Couple of stomps at Nate Webb. Nate back to his knees. Big knee to the face from Delirious. Nate slowly back up. Delirious stalks from the back. He lifts Nate from behind and scoops and slams him, dropping him face first on the mat with the body slam from the back.
Allison Danger: What was that??
Joe Dombrowski: Inverted body slam? I think?
Big elbow drop from Delirious. He’s up. Another elbow drop. And another. And another. And another. And another but Nate rolls out of the way, but this doesn’t stop Delirious from getting up and dropping another elbow drop onto nothing. And then he’s up, and one more for good measure, elbow drop on nothing as Nate Webb watches on. With Delirious somewhat stunned from his own momentum, Nate dives in with a front flip senton.
Allison Danger: He was on a roll and just couldn’t stop.
Joe Dombrowski: Delirious his own worst enemy there.
Nate Webb pulls Delirious to his feet. Irish whip into the corner. Nate comes rushing in behind him, Delirious with a leap frog up and over Nate. Nate expecting a collision is a little stunned, and this allows Delirious to make it to center ring, and come running in for a splash of his own, loudly yelling “STINGAHHHH SPLASHHHHEAHHHH” as he does so.
Allison Danger: Who’s that a shoutout to?
Nate stunned, he stumbles out of the corner, hip toss from Delirious but Nate Webb lands on his feet. Hip toss from Nate, but Delirious goes up and over and lands on his feet. Hip toss from Delirious but once again, Nate lands on his feet. Nate grabs the other arm of Delirious and swings him in a ball room dance type move. Delirious gets the advantage, dipping Nate in a ball room dance type move. The two break free of the double grip. Referee Grider is protesting that they’re now seemingly just dancing. Nate grabs his arm and Delirious starts a wave that goes through Nate, into referee Grider, who continues the wave. Grider protests, but in doing so, accidentally sends the wave back through Nate, and back to Delirious.
Joe Dombrowski: The wrestling portion of this contest seems to have concluded, stay tuned for the improv hour.
Referee Grider breaks free from them. Delirious breaks free of Nate. He yells some more inane nonsense. Nate slaps him, but does so extremely slowly and with no momentum. Delirious responds with a slow motion chop. Slow motion shin kick from Nate Webb. Delirious hops on one foot in slow motion, spinning all the way around and grabbing Nate Webb in a headlock. The two walk across the ring as if it’s a run, Delirious clamped on the head lock and everything moving in slow motion.
Allison Danger: I shooooooooullllldnnnnn’tttttt haaaaaaavvveeeee taaaaaaakkkeeeeeeeeennnnnnn thaaaaaatttttttt aaaaaaaaaaacccciiddddddddd
Joe Dombrowski: Theeeeeeee paaaaaaaaccceeeeee ooooooofffff thiiiiiiiiisssss maaaaaaattttttccchhhhhhh haaaaaaaaaasss sloooooooooooweeedddd waaaaaaayyyyyy doooooooooooownnnn.
The two slowly walk to the ropes, then rebound with no force. The crowd has picked up on what is happening as well, starting a “THHHHIIIIIIISSSSSSS IIIISSSSSSSSSSSS AWWEEEEEEESSSSSOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEEEE *clap clap clap clap clap*” chant. The two wrestlers walk back to center ring. Nate lifts Delirious up, still in slow motion, going for a side suplex but Delirious is able to counter, slowly bringing himself back down to the canvas. Delirious yells out, “NOOOTTTT TOOOODODODODODODODOAYYYYEHSNNNNNNN WEBBBAABBBBBBABBBBB”, slowing down even his usual insanely quick gibberish.
Allison Danger: Whaaaaattttt isssssss happpppppeeeeennnnnninnnnnnngggggg??
Webb lifts Delirious again, going for another back suplex in slow motion, but this time Delirious flips himself over, still in slow motion, coming all the way to the mat. Delirious grabs Webb in a rear waist lock. He’s going for a German suplex. Webb is struggling, albeit very slowly. Even the referee is now moving slowly. Delirious brings Nate up and over with a German suplex, bringing him back to real speed and crashing him into the canvas.
Joe Dombrowski: That’s a relief we’re back to normal speed, German suplex from Delirious!
Allison Danger: The slow motion stuff really messes with my AD/HD, Joe. I feel like the world is extra slow and I’m still cruising. Maybe that’s the acid?
Both men slowly back up. Delirious a little bit faster to his feet. Delirious with a slap but it’s ducked by way. Several quick jabs to the gut from Nate Webb. Nate to the left ropes, Delirious to the right, they both rebound and come back towards center ring. Both go for a clothesline, sending both wrestlers crashing to the mat in a tangled mess of arms and legs. And suddenly, the bell sounds.
Allison Danger: What the hell?
Zane Pasley gives a little bit of clarity.
Zane Pasley: Ladies and gentlemen, the fifteen minute time limit on this match has expired. This match is a draw!
The crowd boos, very unhappy with a draw. Some begin to try to start a “five more minutes” chant.
Joe Dombrowski: No one likes a draw..
Allison Danger: It’s like kissing your sister, and no one wants that. Unless you got a hot sister.
Joe Dombrowski: Stop it.
Allison Danger: Oh no step-brother, I’m stuck in the dryer again, help!
Both men slowly up. Delirious still trying to fight. Referee Grider stops him. They’re slow back to their feet, both finally understanding that the time limit has been reached. The two shake hands, then embrace center ring.
Joe Dombrowski: Great show of sportsmanship from two classy veterans. Now, let’s send it to a special video package.
A narrator speaks over a black screen, flashes of wrestling happening in the background.
Narrator: A lot has changed since we were last with you. Many of our friends are now on television elsewhere weekly. Some have left wrestling. And some have unfortunately, passed on.
Somber music begins to play. A couple of quick clips of Tracy Smothers play through ending on a still image.
Tracy Smothers
1962-2020
The still image is replaced by clips of JC Bailey, namely a few spectacular high spots. There’s a silhouetted freeze frame of his face, just like Tracy Smothers.
JC Bailey
1983-2010
The music is still playing, but over it, the voice of Larry Sweeney can be heard. “Ain’t no doubt about it, 12 large brother”. Cut to the announce desk, with Larry Sweeney side by side with Ben Jordan.
Alex Whybrow “Sweet N Sour Larry Sweeney”
1981-2011
A garbage can just flies into the scene as we’re back to live action, a quick pan showing it was thrown by Terry Funk. A quick clip of him throwing jabs before we freeze frame on his face.
Terry Funk
1944-2023
Back to clips, this time of Danny Havoc. Lots of glass smashing and mayhem, which is a stark image to the somber background music, but another freeze frame around his face.
Grant Berkland “Danny Havoc”
1986-2021
A backstage clip is shown, The Iron Sheik in one of his cameo appearances. It freeze frames on him
Hossein Khosrow Ali Vaziri “The Iron Sheik”
1942-2023
Next clip is Kamala, posing with Beef Wellington. He slaps his belly a few times before we freeze frame on him.
James Harris “Kamala”
1950-2020
More mayhem, this time Brain Damage punching someone in the face, sending them crashing backwards. It freezes on his face this time.
Marvin Lambert “Brain Damage”
1977-2012
A big Yakuza kick is the next clip, then Trent Acid dancing and thrusting in front of the crowd. It freezes on him this time.
Michael Verdi “Trent Acid”
1980-2010
The somber music comes to an end and we cut back to the broadcast table. Allison Danger clearly struggling to maintain her composure.
Allison Danger: Ya know, in this crazy world we live in, sometimes real life catches up to you. I hate it so much. I wish they were all here today. I miss them all dearly. This relaunch isn’t going to be the same, for real. Love you guys…
Joe Dombrowski: Let’s go to the ring..
Joining Zane Pasley is a young white man in an old timey school boy outfit, complete with white button down shirt, short shorts, and suspenders. The look is tied together by his fuzzy curly blonde afro. Joining him is very clearly Joey Eastman, who for some reason is in a Tony Clifton disguise.
Joey Eastman: Camera person, zoom that thing on in here.
Allison Danger: That’s not the line. It’s “Camera man, zoom!” He stole it from Iron Sheik, we just had the video, have some respect Eastman, damn.
Joey Eastman: MY NAME, IS SIDNEY BAKABELLA! And I am here representing Bakabella Enterprises LLC.
Joe Dombrowski: “Bakabella Enterprises LLC”?
Allison Danger: What happened to Joey Eastman Worldwide? Is he avoiding a tax bill or something??
Sidney Bakabella: I should not and WILL NOT be confused with that no good, lying, scum of the earth Joey Eastman, who always walked in my shadow no matter HWAT he did. You see, I am the greatest manager who ever lived, and tonight I have brought forth the greatest professional athlete that has ever lived, ladies, gentlemen and scoundrels alike, I bring to you Dakota Wrestleford!
Dakota pops his suspenders, super proud of the introduction he’s just got.
Allison Danger: That guy’s a wrestler?? I thought he was in I.T!
Sidney Bakabella: And being the greatest manager that’s ever lived, I am going to do what that punk Eastman could never do, and in my first night in the company, I am going to manage a World champion. Now please, get me a referee, and hit the enhancement talent’s music.
Referee Kat Carter comes to the ring, clearly mouthing “you’re about to die, Dakota” as she comes down the aisle. She goes out of visibility as the lights cut out entirely. Ominous music begins to play. And it cuts into the theme from Halloween.
Allison Danger: Oh this is bad..
Zane Pasley: Already in the ring, from Utica, Illinois and accompanied to the ring by Sidney Bakabella and representing Bakabella Enterprises LLC, he is Dakota Wrestleford! And his opponent, from Parts Unknown, standing at nearly seven feet tall, weighing in tonight at three hundred seventeen pounds, as recognized by Pro Wrestling Illustrated and Independent Wrestling .TV, he is the Independent Wrestling WORLD CHAMPION, This is “The Atrocity”… This is KRULE!!!!
During the introduction, Krule has made his way onto the stage. Through smoke and flashing lights, Krule makes his way towards the ring, dragging the Independent Wrestling World championship behind him. Bakabella has already bailed from the ring before Krule makes it in. Wisely, Dakota chooses to jump start and attack Krule the moment he steps in. Lights are back and Kat calls for the bell.
Joe Dombrowski: Sidney Bakabella has signed Dakota’s death certificate I think.
Dakota’s punches have no effect on the monster Krule. Krule goozles Dakota, flinging him towards the turnbuckles but Dakota gets so much momentum he goes up and over the top rope and to the floor. Sidney Bakabella quick to confer with him to see if he’s okay. Dakota gets up in a huff, yelling at Bakabella “No I’m not okay, Godzilla just threw me!”
Allison Danger: Why are you playing along with this Bakabella stuff? That’s clearly Joey Eastman doing Andy Kaufman doing Tony Clifton.
Joe Dombrowski: I’m new here, and if he says his name is Sidney Bakabella, I’m going to call him Sidney Bakabella. The big guy says his name is Krule, you gonna argue with him?
Allison Danger: No, because he’s big.
Reluctantly, Dakota is back into the ring. He rushes at Krule, who gets underneath him and throws him HIGH into the lights with a back drop. Dakota goes flying completely across the ring, landing all tangled up in the bottom and middle rope. He’s bouncing like a prat fall, but Krule has no time for comedy. He drags Dakota back to center ring by his hair. Von Erich like claw from Krule, his massive hands enveloping the face of Dakota. And with the claw, Krule lifts Dakota up and slams him to the mat.
Allison Danger: Upper downer, shades of Kerry Von Erich!
Joe Dombrowski: Because of the claw?
Allison Danger: Right……….
Mercifully, Krule chooses to hook the leg. Referee Kat Carter down for the count, 1….2….3! Zane Pasley makes it official.
Zane Pasley: Your winner of this match and still the Independent Wrestling World Champion, “The Atrocity” KRULE!
Krule back to his feet, Dakota still not moving center ring. Kat hands Krule his championship belt and just as quickly and destructively as he arrived, Krule exits. He’s back up the ramp. Sidney Bakabella is left to check on what remains of Dakota Wrestleford.
Allison Danger: Big debut in WCWA by the Independent Wrestling World Champion Krule, and a Marty Jannetty like debut for Dakota Wrestleford.
Cut to the backstage area, where Ricky Morton is standing at the WCWA backdrop. In a matching “School of Morton” t-shirt, his son Kerry.
Ricky Morton: Hey wrestlin’ fans, this is Ricky Morton here, and this is my son Kerry. On the next show, you’re gonna see Kerry step into the ring, but wanna make this perfectly clear, he’s a rassler, ain’t gonna be none of that light tube bull crap, ain’t gonna be no chairs, ain’t gonna be no weed whackers or whatever other furniture these backyard brawlers wanna bring in. We’re Mortons, and rasslin is in our blood. And last time I checked, that’s still what’s on the marquee, w-r-e-s-t-l-i-n-g, that’s rasslin.
Quick cut back to ringside. Zane Pasley stands center ring.
Zane Pasley: The following contest is set for one fall, with a fifteen minute time limit, your referee is Jake Clemons.
Clemons salutes the crowd as we swing towards the ramp and cut. “Cold.1” by by Kayne West & DJ Khaled hits. AC Mack makes his way through the curtain, flanked by a Hispanic man in a poncho and a large hat. Behind them, in a BLK Out shirt with the sleeves cut off and black work pants tucked into his boots, a doorag over his head and flowing down his back, a massive African American man covered in thick scars.
Zane Pasley: Being accompanied to the ring by AC Mack and Rico Gonzalez, and representing the BLK Out, From Everywhere and Nowhere, he is “The Mayor of Safety Town” The Hoodfoot, Mo Atlas!
The BLK Out trio have made their way to the ring, AC loudly screaming “HUSH!” at the crowd as he comes down. Hoodfoot is all business, however, climbing in, throwing off his dorag, and staring up the ramp. His music cuts off. It’s replaced by “Zombie” by The Cranberries. Through the curtain, barefoot, in MMA shorts, and a judo style gi top comes a white man with a mullet, his face hardened and calloused. A heavily tattooed Asian man follows behind him.
Zane Pasley: And his opponent, being accompanied to the ring by Kevin Ku and representing Violence is Forever, from Canton, Ohio, “The Italian American Dragon, The Bone Collector” Dominic Garrini!
Garrini and Ku make their way to the ring, all business and a look of determination painted on Dom’s stern face.
Joe Dombrowski: Allison Danger, we’ve got a war heading our way.
Allison Danger: These are two hard, hard men and they’re about to beat the piss out of each other for our entertainment.
Joe Dombrowski: Hoodfoot is an eight year veteran, originally out of Chicago, Illinois, now residing “everywhere and nowhere”. Not a lot of information to be found on Hoodfoot, but the thick scars all over his torso reminiscent of “Crazy Monkey” Jun Kasai tell a lot of the story of Hoodfoot.
Allison Danger: You don’t get scars like that baking brownies.
Joe Dombrowski: I did find Hoodfoot did several years in federal prison for armed robbery, and actually sells a t-shirt bearing his mugshot, if that gives any intel on him. His opponent, Dominic Garrini, is an eight year veteran himself with a background in judo and Brazillian jui jitsu. He was originally trained by Johnny Gargano and Candice LaRae. He’s accompanied by his tag team partner, Kevin Ku, and together they have held the Independent Wrestling World Tag Team championships before as “Violence is Forever”
Allison Danger: They’re gonna fight.
Garrini into the ring, quickly rerobbing and passing his robe out to Ku. Dom puts a mouthpiece in. there’s a quick check of his hand wraps for foreign objects, his bare feet obviously absent of anything. With the formalities out of the way, Clemons calls for the bell, signifying the start of the match.
Allison Danger: WCWA has never shyed away from the hard hitting, violent encounters. From the Chris Hero’s and Eddie Kingston’s of the world, to the Brain Damage and…. Necro Butcher’s…. of the world. Who can forget the bloodbath that Christian York put on? I’ve never seen someone bleed so much from a punch.
Joe Dombrowski: This one going to be no different. Stylistically, these two couldn’t be further apart, which makes for a very UFC 1 esque vibe. You’ve got the blood fighter versus the jui jitsu, around a hundred pound weight difference. One comes out in work pants and combat boots with a cut t-shirt, one comes in fight shorts and barefoot.. Hoodfoot weighed in tonight at two hundred eighty pounds, nearly sixty pounds heavier than the two seventeen Garrini.
The two circle around the ring, sizing each other up. It’s Garrini who throws the first strike, an open hand palm strike that catches Hoodfoot on the temple. Hoodfoot responds with a bear claw type open hand strike of his own, rocking Garrini. Garrini shakes it off. Slap to the face from Garrini, followed up by a kick to the mid section with the bare foot, then a big elbow to the forehead which brings Hoodfoot to a knee.
Allison Danger: This is going to get really violent, really quickly.
Joe Dombrowski: Two heavy HEAVY handed strikers throwing blows.
Allison Danger: Big meaty men throwing meat.
Hoodfoot has a small trickle of blood already beginning to stream down his face. Left slap from Dom, a right, a left, a right. Big left elbow as Hoodfoot stands up. And a right. Hoodfoot fires back. Big slap of his own from Hoodfoot. A close handed punch. Dom grabs Hoodfoot’s head by the back of the head, Hoodfoot teeing off with punches to Dom’s head. Knee strike to the gut from Dom. More punches to the head from Hoodfoot. Knee strike again but this one catches the face of the Hoodfoot and he starts to stumble backwards. Garrini grabs an arm as he falls.
Allison Danger: Hoodfoot is rocked!
Joe Dombrowski: Not great for Hoodfoot, because Dom’s going for the arm here.
Garrini looking for an armbar. Hoodfoot down on a knee so Garrini can’t get full leverage, but he’s got his legs wrapped around Hoodfoot’s arm and is trying with both hands to pry at the arm. Hoodfoot gets his free hand underneath Garrini, standing up with him and driving him into the mat with a powerbomb, effectively breaking the arm bar.
Joe Dombrowski: Brute force powerbomb from Hoodfoot and that’s one way to break the arm bar.
Allison Danger: He’s lucky Dom didn’t break the arm!
Garrini now on his back. Hoodfoot with a short kick to the ribs. A second, but this time Dom catches the foot, rolling the ankle and bring the heavy Hoodfoot crashing to the mat. Dom’s looking for an ankle lock but Hoodfoot is too close to the ropes. He’s able to get the bottom rope moderately quickly. Dom still stands up, really sinking in the ankle lock. Referee Jake Clemons warns of a disqualification, 1….2…..3…..4…. Garrini breaks at four. Hoodfoot screams in pain as he rolls to the outside.
Joe Dombrowski: Garrini risking disqualification if he doesn’t break the hold.
AC Mack yells at the referee “GET HIS ASS BACK” as Mack and Rico look over Hoodfoot, Hoodfoot clearly already having issues standing on the foot. Hoodfoot walks it off, Mack following behind him and yelling at the crowd “HUSHHHHHHH”. Hoodfoot up the ring steps and back into the ring. Garrini begins to circle around again. Hoodfoot circling much slower now. This allows Garrini to rush in, nailing Hoodfoot with an elbow that sends him tumbling back into the corner.
Joe Dombrowski: HUGE elbow strike from the Bone Collector!
Allison Danger: Hoodfoot may be out on his feet, ropes only thing catching him, come on Mo!
Joe Dombrowski: You’re supposed to be impartial, Allison Danger.
Allison Danger: Look, they may not be my crew, but you ALWAYS bet on BLK.
Hoodfoot slouched over the top ropes in the corner. Garrini approaches as if he’s going for ten punches in the corner. He lays in two elbows. The cut on Hoodfoot’s head is now gushing, the blood splattering over Dom’s elbow and forearm as it collides with Hoodfoot’s face. Immediately the crimson drips down, saturating the white parts of Hoodfoot’s BLK Out shirt with the viscous fluids. Garrini steps up from the second rope all the way to the top rope.
Allison Danger: Oh man, Hoodfoot is leaking BAD!
Joe Dombrowski: The elbow strikes from Garrini look to have opened up a wound, possibly an old wound from a deathmatch..
Allison Danger: That’s the thing with these deathmatch guys, their foreheads kind of become like hamburger meat. You and I, we have a lot of layers of healthy skin on our faces. But these deathmatch guys who’ve been cut open so many times just have scar tissue on top of scar tissue. And it’s real easy to rip that tissue open.
Garrini now standing all the way on top over the bloodied Hoodfoot. He stomps Hoodfoot’s face. Directly to the nose and eye, a stomp straight down. A second one. He goes for a third, but Hoodfoot walks out. Hoodfoot shakes the ropes, causing Garrini to fall and straddle himself on the turnbuckle connector.
Allison Danger: He was stomping the man’s face, Joe! Dom was just stomping Hoodfoot’s face!
Joe Dombrowski: This is the definition of mixed martial arts, the brutal styles clash.
Hoodfoot from behind. He hooks both of Garrini’s arms, bringing him up on his back for a crucifix, then out to center ring, throwing him to the mat with a powerbomb. Dominic Garrini is stunned. Hoodfoot drops to one knee, the blood literally running from his head in a constant stream now, painting the canvas as he kneels above it.
Joe Dombrowski: Razor’s edge by the Hoodfoot!
Allison Danger: Look at the blood, Joe, damn look at the blood. Gerry, zoom in on the blood!
Joe Dombrowski: STOP TALKING TO GERRY!
As instructed, there’s a tight zoom in on Hoodfoot’s face, the blood streaming out like running water. Jake Clemons tries to check to see if Hoodfoot wants to continue. Hoodfoot pushes the referee off. Hoodfoot on the attack. Garrini slowly up. Hoodfoot nails him in the face with a knee of his own, rocking the Bone Collector. Hoodfoot dives on top. He’s raining down punches on Garrini. Garrini looking to cover up. But he quickly abandons covering up, grabbing ahold of the head and neck of Hoodfoot.
Allison Danger: He’s got a choke!
Blood is all over both men and painting the canvas as Dom Garrini sinks in like a python sucking the life out of his prey and Hoodfoot is fading fast. Clemons checks the hand. Once, it falls down. Twice? It falls to the mat. A third time? And there’s no drama, the hand falls to the mat again. Hoodfoot has been choked unconscious. Jake Clemons calls for the bell and immediately pulls Garrini off of Hoodfoot. Zane Pasley makes the announcement official.
Zane Pasley: Your winner of this match, as a result of a choke out, The Bone Collector, Dominic Garrini!
“Zombie” by The Cranberries hits over the P/A. Dom gets to his feet. There’s so much blood on Garrini, he looks to have been stabbed. Dom’s chest, face, hands, and feet are soaked in blood. The canvas is sprayed and spattered with blood. Hoodfoot is slowly coming to, but he is drowning in blood.
Joe Dombrowski: What a WAR!
Allison Danger: First show back, we’ve ruined the canvas, we’re probably getting kicked out of the high school gym, Hoodfoot is dead, and damn, what a war.
Joe Dombrowski: Well, the canvas shouldn’t be much of a worry, because our death match main event is up next.
Allison Danger: Our WHAT main event?
Joe Dombrowski: Let’s send it to Veda Scott with one of the participants, take it, Veda!
Cut to the back, where Veda Scott stands by with a man in a black shirt, black baseball cap, and cut off flannel vest.
Veda Scott: Thanks Joe, I’m standing by with a man making his WCWA debut tonight, “The Duke of Hardcore” John Wayne Murdoch. John, tonight you do battle with one of the OGs of WCWA, SeXXXy Eddy, your thoughts?
Murdoch takes the microphone and as he does so, Veda makes a face.
John Wayne Murdoch: My thoughts?? I’ve been around the world bleeding buckets on every continent. Mexico, Japan, the US, I am the most decorated death match fighter around today, and I come here and the best they can get for me is a stripper who wrestles in his underpants? I’ve seen SeXXXy Eddy, I know the act. Give me some real competition. Where’s Jun Kasai? Where’s Abdullah Kobayashi? I’m calling you out, Atsushi Onita. I want to prove to the world that I’m not just the best North American death match fighter, but the world, and tonight, I start by proving a point with SeXXXy Eddy.
Murdoch stomps off the set.
Veda Scott: Back to you, Joe and Allison.
Joe Dombrowski: Strong words from John Wayne Murdoch, let’s send it up to Zane Pasley for our main event introductions.
Cut to the ring where Zane Pasley stands, joined by referee Aaron Grider. The ring still covered in Hoodfoot’s blood.
Zane Pasley: The following match is our MAIN EVENT of the evening, set for one fall, with no time limit, and it is a death match! If the action looks to be coming your way, it probably is, so please grab your belongings and move!
The crowd cheers. “Lap Dance” by N.E.R.D. hits over the p/a system and SeXXXy Eddy makes his way onto the stage. Eddy now has a long gray beard and is flocked in long curled gray locks, but still as animated and gyrating as ever.
Zane Pasley: Introducing first, from VERY Long Beach, California, he is the Triple X Sex Express, SeXXXy Eddy!
Eddy makes his way to the ring doing a sexy dance the whole way down. He’s pulling at his vest and break away pants like he can’t wait to strip down, but does make it to the ring without losing any of his clothing. In the ring, Eddy takes the microphone from Zane Pasley.
SeXXXy Eddy: Cut the music! Boy, I’ve missed being out here in front of all of you people, but most of all, I’ve missed taking my CLOTHES off! I had a whole strip routine planned, and wanted to give some lucky lady the time of her life, but it looks like the ring is already prom night city..
Allison Danger: Jesus CHRIST!
SeXXXy Eddy: So instead, I’m just gonna have to get naked by myself and beat John Wayne Murdoch’s ass!
Eddy pulls his vest off, throwing it aside and rolling out of the ring. Throwing up the ring skirt, he immediately finds a garbage can, which he throws into the ring. A few cookie sheets and a plant spill out of it. Eddie grabs a big red box and shoves it into the ring under the bottom rope. Camera cuts away from Eddy’s furniture rearranging to the ramp. “Man of Constant Sorrow” by Charm City Devils begins to play. John Wayne Murdoch makes his way out onto the stage.
Zane Pasley: And his opponent, from Waxahachie, Texas, he is “The Duke of Hardcore” John Wayne Murdoch!
Murdoch makes his way down the ramp. Eddy is still throwing furniture into the ring, but the brawl begins on the floor. Grider says screw it and calls for the bell. Eddy starts punching at Murdoch. Murdoch produces a screwdriver from his vest and jabs it into Eddy’s forehead.
Joe Dombrowski: Greco Roman screwdriver to the face from John Wayne Murdoch.
Allison Danger: It ain’t pretty, but it’s effective.
Murdoch shoves the screwdriver into his vest pocket. He grabs Eddy’s breakaway pants, pulling them off and stripping Eddy down to his tiny underwear tights. Murdoch begins choking Eddy with his own pants. Eddy’s trying to get away. He goes over the guardrail trying to get free from Murdoch, but Murdoch follows him, still choking Eddy with his entrance pants. Eddy gets under Murdoch. Hip toss from SeXXXy Eddy sends John Wayne Murdoch bowling through the first and second rows.
Allison Danger: It’s take a wrestler home night here at WCWA. Free deathmatch wrestler with every front row seat!
Eddy flings his pants from his neck, then throws a chair directly at Murdoch’s face. Then a second. Second chair actually flies over Murdoch and disappears to who knows where. Murdoch comes rushing back at Eddy. He’s got an umbrella. He swings the umbrella like a stick. First shot causes the umbrella to open. He takes a couple more comedic shots with the umbrella before throwing it away.
Joe Dombrowski: Where’d he get an umbrella??
Allison Danger: It’s Dead Rising out here, Joe. Everything’s a weapon, everywhere is a combat zone, and there’s probably sharp stuff attached to stuff with duct tape.
Murdoch backs up and runs at Eddy. Eddy with a back drop sends Murdoch up and over the guardrail and back to ringside. Eddy hops the rail himself. He pulls up the ring skirt. From underneath the ring, he produces a barbed wire baseball bat. The crowd lets out a huge “OOOOHHH”. Murdoch sees the bat and scurries backwards.
Allison Danger: Things about to get serious, Joe, barbed wire baseball bat in play.
Joe Dombrowski: Because what arena doesn’t keep a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire just outside of spectators reach?
Murdoch rolls into the ring. He’s trying to get away from Eddy. Eddy is giving chase. Murdoch throws a plant at Eddy’s face. It barely slows him down. Murdoch grabs a crutch. It becomes a light saber duel, crutch versus barbed wire bat and very quickly, Murdoch’s wooden crutch has been obliterated. Murdoch scrambling for another weapon. He bends over, Eddy’s about to catch him, but out of nowhere, Murdoch spins and smashes a whole bundle of light tubes over SeXXXy Eddy’s head.
Allison Danger: WE GOT TUBES!
Joe Dombrowski: Light tube bundle to the head of SeXXXy Eddy!
Allison Danger: Smell that spooky dust in the air!
Glass and dust fly everywhere, Eddy fumbling the bat from the glass shot. Murdoch grabs a trash can, smashing it down across Eddy. He’s looking around. The broken end of the bundle of tubes seems like the best option. Murdoch grabs that, jamming the tube ends into SeXXXy Eddy’s face in a chin lock camel clutch sort of position.
Allison Danger: I remember when Sheikie Baby jammed Sgt. Slaughter with light tubes in 1983, good times.
Eddy is cut instantly by the jagged glass. He’s crawling to get away. Eddy’s grasping at anything he can grab. He grabs a broom. He swats at Murdoch’s face. Doesn’t get free, but is able to shatter the glass the rest of the way, rendering the shards useless. Murdoch stomps Eddy in the middle of the back. Murdoch grabs Eddy’s face, grinding it into the glass covered mat.
Allison Danger: That’s just grimy.
Joe Dombrowski: Nothing fancy in this one, just old school death match wrestling.
Murdoch grabs the trash can, throwing it aside out of the ring. He’s looking over the plunder in the ring, nothing really meeting his needs. He throws a wooden stick aside as well. His attention is caught by the red box Eddy pushed in earlier. He brings the red plastic tote to center ring, dumping it over his own head.
Allison Danger: Oh good lord..
Joe Dombrowski: Thousands of legos spilling to the mat!
Legos completely cover the center of the ring. Murdoch spreads them out with his foot to make sure they’re evenly distributed. Murdoch approaches Eddy. Boot to the gut from Eddy. Eddy grabs Murdoch by the head and slams him backwards into the lego!
Allison Danger: AHHHHHHH!!!
Joe Dombrowski: I’ve stepped on one. Could you imagine landing on thousands?
Allison Danger: No thank you!
Eddy with a cover in the lego. Referee Grider makes the count on his knee, 1……2…. Kick out by Murdoch. Eddy off of Murdoch, Murdoch throws a handful of lego in Eddy’s face. Eddy rolls to the outside. While Eddy is on the outside, Murdoch has got a roll of tape. He’s wrapping the end of the broom Eddy had earlier in duct tape, sticky side out. Eddy throws two chairs into the ring, then pushes a door into the ring.
Allison Danger: He’s got the flophouse door!
Joe Dombrowski: What exactly is Murdoch doing with that tape, though?
Eddy takes a minute to set the door up in the corner. Meanwhile, Murdoch rolls the sticky side of the tape through legos, accumulating legos all over the end of the broom. Eddy turns around and Murdoch blasts him with the newly made lego bat, sending colorful blocks everywhere. Without a moment to waste, Murdoch reloads the bat on the mat. Eddy slowly stumbles to his feet and Murdoch blasts him again, another colorful explosion of blocks. Murdoch throws the broom away, rushing at Eddy and spearing him through the door set up in the corner.
Joe Dombrowski: Two lego broom shots to the head and a spear through a door!
Allison Danger: I like that people have realized wooden tables are too expensive and we’ve now moved to just breaking old doors. If ECW were breaking doors, they’d probably still be in business.
Joe Dombrowski: If WCWA was breaking doors, you wouldn’t have had to take a seven year hiatus.
Allison Danger: Watch it, Dombrowski.
Murdoch up. He drags Eddy to center ring, dragging him through blocks in the process. Murdoch down for a cover, referee Grider careful again to not count in legos or glass. 1….2…. kick out at two from SeXXXy Eddy. Murdoch rolls out of the ring. Eddy slowly to his feet and he’s busted wide open now. Eddy stumbling around drunk. Camera cuts to Murdoch, who’s produced a six foot by three foot sheet of glass from under the ring.
Allison Danger: We got more glass!
Joe Dombrowski: Because that’s what we needed. That’s exactly what we needed..
Murdoch slides the pane of glass into the ring carefully over the bottom rope so it’s bridged and not laying flat, making sure it doesn’t lay on legos. Murdoch back into the ring. Shot to the gut with something from Eddy. He throws it away, grabbing Murdoch’s head and driving him into the mat with an X Factor.
Joe Dombrowski: X Factor from SeXXXy Eddy! And it might not have been deliberate, but that was into legos as well.
Allison Danger: The legos being everywhere is a double edged sword, because everything they do in that ring is now on legos. Eddy caught an ass full of legos on that X Factor. Probably not the first time he’s had an ass full of legos, the kinky bastard.
Eddy sets up two chairs in the corner. He carefully gets the glass Murdoch brought into play. Eddy bridges the glass between two chairs, creating a table out of the glass.
Allison Danger: Glass table in play, shades of Boogie Woogie Jimmy Valiant.
Joe Dombrowski: Three people are going to get that reference, myself included, but the ones who do understand it are disgusted with you, Allison Danger.
Allison Danger: My pleasure.
Eddy looking around. He’s trying to find something, but whatever it is, he can’t find. Couple of quick stomps to Murdoch. He puts Murdoch underneath the glass. Eddy goes to the top rope. He’s looking for a splash through the glass to Murdoch, but he takes too much time. Murdoch rolls from under the glass, grabs the barbed wire bat, and is to the corner. Big shot to the face with the barbed wire bat. He catches a big chunk of Eddy’s stringy hair, pulling it with the bat as he pulls back.
Allison Danger: Bet you Eddy is back to short hair next time we see him.
Murdoch swings the bat, hitting Eddy right in the crotch with it. Eddy falls on the top rope stunned. Murdoch very carefully sets the bat down on the glass. He goes in the corner underneath Eddy, digging in his flannel vest. From there, he produces a bottle of lighter fluid, the yellow bottle with the red cap unmistakable. The crowd cheers. Murdoch proceeds to douse the end of the barbed wire bat in lighter fluid, also soaking the glass in the process.
Joe Dombrowski: I do not like this one bit. It may be the fourth of July, but we do not need a barbeque.
Allison Danger: Looks like the fireworks are about to go off, Joe!
Murdoch throws the lighter fluid bottle away. He grabs the bat. Holding the literally dripping bat over the glass, Murdoch produces a lighter from his pocket. With a quick flick, he ignites the bat. Flaming barbed wire bat in hand, first he jabs the prone on the top rope SeXXXy Eddy with it, then swings the bat, striking him with a gigantic ball of fire and barbed wire.
Allison Danger: Blood, fire, and barbed wire, man it’s good to be home, Joe!
Joe Dombrowski: You need counseling.
Murdoch turns back to the glass. Using the bat as a torch, he ignites the glass. Murdoch throws the still flaming bat to the outside, briefly causing panic to ringside attendants. Murdoch climbs through the ropes. He goes to the top rope behind Eddy. Eddy turns around, bloody, dazed, and confused. Murdoch shoves Eddy’s head between his own legs, coming off the top rope with a flipping piledriver, directly into and through the flaming glass.
Allison Danger: OH GOD!
Glass and fire explode everywhere, sending flaming debris in every direction. Murdoch quickly down for a cover, referee Grider makes the count, 1…..2…..3!
Joe Dombrowski: Mercifully, this one is over. Let’s send it up to Zane Pasley to make it official.
Zane Pasley: Your winner of the match, “The Duke of Hardcore” John Wayne MURDOCH!
Murdoch’s music hits again, Murdoch getting to his feet quickly and making sure he’s not still on fire. He kicks some legos out of the ring, refusing Grider’s attempt to raise his hand, instead celebrating on his own up the ramp. Eddy is left in a pile of blood spattered legos, smoldering broken glass, and other mayhem. He’s slow to recover. Murdoch celebrates up the ramp.
Joe Dombrowski: What a return to form for WCWA. For Allison Danger, I’m Joe Dombrowski, we’ll see you next time, for WCWA!
Allison Danger: Hopefully not in seven years!
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