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Post by The Boondock Syxx on Feb 22, 2008 12:22:21 GMT -5
"No Soliciting"
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Post by fathercrimboss on Feb 22, 2008 13:32:56 GMT -5
Hide and Seek with Madeline Mccann.
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Stewart
Superstar
Joined on: Oct 21, 2007 17:14:43 GMT -5
Posts: 616
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Post by Stewart on Feb 22, 2008 20:38:16 GMT -5
Ghost House, The Beginning OF THe End.
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Post by Johnny on Feb 22, 2008 20:43:20 GMT -5
Beware of House.
Don't Ring The Doorbell
The House That Is Haunted
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Stewart
Superstar
Joined on: Oct 21, 2007 17:14:43 GMT -5
Posts: 616
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Post by Stewart on Feb 22, 2008 22:45:55 GMT -5
How About:
Start With A Knock, End WIth A Screem.
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Post by Barrett on Feb 22, 2008 23:26:31 GMT -5
And here is the plot. Now remember, it's not final yet, so some stuff may still be changed. Please don't be too harsh. The evil Victor Bowers owns a house on top of Rutger Hill. He and everyone else in the town of Middleton know about the house's horrible past. They know about the Rollins family and what happened too them 10 years ago. The Johnson family moves in with their too children, ages 7 and 5. They love the house at first, but the children say they hear and see weird things in the house. Of course, the parents don't believe them, until they return from a bar one night and find that someone has trashed the place, everything was torn up. The parents decide that maybe the children weren't lying and they discover the truth about Victor, and the Rollins family. They move out, but return to get there things and we have the final showdown between the Johnsons and The house atop Rutger Hill. Now, again, it's still a work in progress, any suggestions are appreciated!  First off, too = also, two = the number 2 I really don't want to be a dick, but you're writing a book so you're going to hear things like this soon or later..... The whole book isn't written like that, is it? I know it's just a summary, but it's written so poorly that it makes me not want to read the book at all. Also, if the parents returned home for a bar ( leaving their kids home along while they drink, making them crappy parents. there is your interesting story) why would they automatically assume that ghosts tore up the house? Saying "it wasn't us... ghosts did it" sounds like an exuse that four year olds would make. And finally, all the names in your story... the all sound too generic. Victor Bowers, the Rollins, the Johnsons, the house atop Rutger Hill.... I don't know, it just sounds like I've heard it all too many times before. Don't let me discourage you from writing. These are just one man's opinions. If writing is what you really want to do, then by all means, do it. I just think that the current draft of this particular story isn't as good as it could be. I can look over some of that stuff, but the fact that the family moves out before the end of the story and then goes back to get their stuff? No dice. I strongly suggest you rethink that, 'mega. |
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Post by Joe/Smurf on Feb 23, 2008 13:18:43 GMT -5
Honestly, I would just finish it and think of a title afterwards. You might have more inspiration when it's complete.
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Post by mrindy on Feb 23, 2008 13:26:06 GMT -5
Beware
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Post by validation on Feb 23, 2008 19:10:31 GMT -5
Haunted Property; House Of Fear ; That's all i could think of...hope i helped
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Post by timebombversion420 on Feb 23, 2008 19:14:52 GMT -5
call it the house on _______ street
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Stewart
Superstar
Joined on: Oct 21, 2007 17:14:43 GMT -5
Posts: 616
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Post by Stewart on Feb 23, 2008 20:09:40 GMT -5
No Call It:
When Death Knocks.
Or
Hell House |
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Post by [MJH] on Feb 23, 2008 20:14:15 GMT -5
"the house on the edge of despair"
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Post by validation on Feb 24, 2008 13:36:12 GMT -5
Haunted Minds; Scared Tears
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Post by goodbyehello on Feb 24, 2008 14:34:44 GMT -5
omega.
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Stewart
Superstar
Joined on: Oct 21, 2007 17:14:43 GMT -5
Posts: 616
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Post by Stewart on Feb 24, 2008 17:51:49 GMT -5
Rutger Hills!
Dead Rollins!
Rollins vs Johnson!
Spirit Children!
IDK!
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Post by PhoeniX™: Valoween on Feb 24, 2008 18:30:05 GMT -5
Blood runs dead.
Blood Red Moon.
lmao.
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![[MJH] Avatar](http://i56.tinypic.com/5x3ote.jpg)
