Shawn Williams RP #1 (Match with Obo)

First of all Description is your friend hehe...add on, elaborate, go into more detail. Your speech wasnt to bad though I never imagined a straight edge person making cracks about masterbation and such...maybe thats just me though, hell i dont watch wrestling anymore so I could be wrong.

Now at the beginning you started out ok, everything went kind of haywire seemed to me at the middle and end with the fan. Ussually I would I never suggest beating some one up in a roleplay, i think we all have made this mistake myself included. Later when you look back on it you will understand when i say its tacky and cliche as a in ring promo is most of the time.

Again though, if your straight-edge and all that, wouldnt you have time for a fan. I dont know for sure thats just my thoughts on it. Anyways expand on your description giving more detail and speech also needs a bit of work, but that will come with getting use to your character and such..so im not downing on it.

Well Good luck in your match and welcome to WFWF!

Revvie

I gotta second Lee's comments. The description kinda seemed like ways to space your conversation out. Your speech was good, but at times lacked, especially when doing a back and forth conversation, just didn't carry over well.
Beating up a fan, from experience, does absolutely nothing. Lee said it perfectly, your is bond.. so what if you beat up a fan, if you cut promos like something off a after school special, you won't last long. No potential to be gained in attacking fans.

But yea, this did a good job of attacking Obo's social creed for your own, but not really enough elements to come off well.. Anybody can step outside, swipe someone, and say something.
Hope my words don't come accross as disparaging. Good luck