Post by thesouthsidekid on Apr 18, 2007 3:15:03 GMT -5
A gym, Philadelphia. This gym was, in a word, a dump. I stepped inside the doors and took in the smell of sweat and stench. It was almost like the gym hadn’t been cleaned in ages. I looked around at the ratty equipment, along with the inhabitants of the gym. These men that I saw once I stepped inside looked like homeless bums with their run down clothes, and their beards that looked like they haven’t been shaven in a month, while their hair, one man that I saw walk past me to the locker room, it was beyond describable. One would ask me if they saw me, why would I go to a run down piece of craphell hole such as this gym. This gym had no sign in the front that was legible. Why would I come to the very source of urban decay to train for a huge match upcoming on Felo De Se.
I came to this gym because it reminded me so much of Robbie’s old gym, and the shape that it was in when I finally stepped inside it for the first time in five years. It too had a run of the muck feel. This place gave me that feeling of being at home, in the old gym. It gave me that sense of going to the basics, even if conditions weren’t idea. It taught toughness, which is often forgotten about in this business. I felt almost a warm sensation of happiness. It made me feel good about my chances in the match against the Revolution. I knew this place would get me ready. I know that Kurt Burton and Thunder were happy to see this match. To them, this is a week off. To me, this was a chance at Revenge. I touched the bandage on my head and I remembered back to that day on Felo De Se.
Williams goes to make a cover, but no referee. Thunder takes care of Dean on the outside with a chair shot to the head. Williams turns around and is met with a shot from Thunder. As Kurt follows it up with the Feedback, a second referee rushes down to the ring. He checks on Williams to see if he wants to give it up be Williams is not responding so the referee calls for the finish.
The mere thought of that moment made me sick to my stomach. That can’t, and won’t happen again. As I began to walk to the locker room and as I took everything of this gym in, I wondered to myself if my partner High Horror would be ready for this match. Then a small pit in my stomach began to grow as I began to think, of potential scenarios. It isn’t a stretch to think that High Horror could possibly leave me out to dry. It wasn’t long ago, that I beat him to advance in the New Breed Reign tournament. He could still be very bitter from that, and I wouldn’t blame him. If I had lost to a guy three times in a row, I’d be bitter too.
I sat down at a locker and pulled my towel out of my gym bag. I didn’t bring much with me today because I couldn’t trust anyone here. Not that they aren’t decent people, but in the location that I was currently in, I wasn’t leaving anything to chance. I grabbed my towel and began to go to work. I started out on the treadmill. I turned it up and began to run hard.
In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth. That is all I concentrated on as I took step by step. I was so enthralled in my work, I closed my eyes and listened to the cadence of my feet on the treadmill and the breathing in out of my lungs. Then I started to hear a voice in my head.
: Push Josh, you got it! Push it to the limit, no quit!!!
Robbie………could it really be him? No, it couldn’t be. It’s got to be the heat in this joint. I couldn’t have heard his voice. There is no way. Just then
Robbie: Josh, you can’t loose focus! You think they beat you bad last week, they are gonna do worse to you this week!
What was he talking about when he said they? Was he talking about the Revolution? I think it might be the heat in the gym getting to me. Maybe I should go work on my striking on the heavy bag. That usually calms me down. I walked over to the bag and began to punch it. I thought about Thunder and the chairshot, and the cut it left on my head. I began to punch harder. I blocked out everyone turning to look at me. I stepped back and kicked it as hard as I could. All I could see was Kurt Burton, mocking me.
Robbie: Come on Josh, fight! These guys want to mangle you. They want humiliate you! You can’t let them do it!!! FIGHT IT!!!
The voice was there again. It was so real, just like he was there, standing over top of me like he was when I was younger. Finally I stopped and screamed!! The place went quiet as they all turned to me. Was I breaking down? I didn’t know, I felt numb as a tear began to well up in my eyes. It was then I looked at my spectators, and I couldn’t let them see me in this condition. I turned around and began to shove through the crowd of spectators. I walked into the locker room and sat down.
: Josh, is everything ok with you?
I looked up, and I was shocked to see who I saw. It was High Horror. My tag partner for thisweek saw me have a near nervous breakdown in the gym. This should go over well.
”I’m fine.”
HH: You sure, you seemed distraught out there.
”I said I’m fine.”
I wanted him to go away, but there he stood. He was there, he wouldn’t budge. No matter how I tried, I didn’t know how I would get him to leave me be. Horror sat down beside me.
HH: You can’t pull that crap on me Josh. Look man, I know that you and I have went rounds in the past. But we are a team this week on FDS. Kurt and Thunder, they are tag champs for a reason. We need to be focused physically and mentally. And I don’t know about you, but you seem to me like you are there physically, but not upstairs.
”You know nothing about me and what I went through.”
HH: Then enlighten me.
”You want enlightened Sean, you really want enlightened? Ok, I was 15, coming home from a house show with my trainer. He took me in after my parents and my aunt died. He was basically a father figure to me, although he never adopted me, he was there for everything. So, we were on those roads, and it was raining. He and I got into an argument, and he lost focus of the road and we went over a cliff…….I made it ……..but…….but HE DIED!”
With that, I felt my voice start to become weary. I was getting weaker. This was the first time I had opened up to anyone about this that wasn’t a former student of Robbie’s. How did I know how Horror would take it? How do I know he wouldn’t just laugh at me?
HH: So, your trainer died.
”You don’t get it. He was more than that, he was a father figure to me. My parents were deadbeats that got shot in a driveby. My aunt died of cancer six months after I went to live with her. Robbie took me off the streets and taught me this craft! Then he was taken away! You know what the hell of it is Sean!”
My eyes had tears backed up. I was trying hard not to let them go. I needed to be strong. But I felt weaker in the knees.
HH: What?
”The hell of it is that wreck should’ve killed me and it didn’t! I’ve never forgiven myself for it! I didn’t show up at the funeral because of my guilt. And for six years I’ve been holding it in!”
Horror looked at me with a intrigued look. To him, I seem calm, cool, collected in all my efforts. He had no idea about my past. He had no idea.
HH: You’re right man, I had no idea. But let me give you something to think about. You’ve probably heard it time and time before, but it isn’t your fault. God had a plan when this happened. Maybe he wanted to use this pain as a motivation for you. But the way it seems that you are going about it no, this pain will consume you if you let it. You say that you haven’t been to his grave in six years. Josh, holding something in that long will make you crazy, and the pain won’t go away. You need closure, and that’s what you should do, is go to his grave, and make peace with the demons.
It was the same song and dance that I’ve heard for six years. But finally, it had began to sink in. Maybe because it was an outside source, maybe because I was getting tired of the demons, but I knew what I needed to do at that point. I shook Horror’s hand and we got up off that bench in the locker room. We grabbed our bags and we headed out, ready for the FDS showdown of our lives.
Message to Kurt Burton- The Truth of the Pain
Hi Kurt. I got your message about last week. Yes, I’ll admit, Thunder swings a pretty chair shot. Kurt, it seems I’ve struck a nerve talking about your father. I know that you hate him for everything that you can think he’s done wrong. For everything he’s done, it was probably for your own good Kurt, but yet you have some justification to say otherwise.
Kurt, as much as you hate your father, you can’t hate him as much as much as I hate myself for what happened to my trainer. At least you have a father Kurt! You want to know what happened to mine. He got shot! Yeah with a real bullet out on the real street!! Kurt you have no idea what that feels like. You always had a father looking out for your own good. But you couldn’t see the guidance because you have been washed in your own self-glory for so damn long. You say you had pain, and you harnessed it, well let’s talk about that Kurt. The pain you have, and the pain I have are nothing a like. But what we do with it are the same, we both use it to harness it. I harness my pain with my hatred in anger to dominate in the ring.
You’re right, maybe I have wallowed in my sorrow. And maybe it might have dragged me down Kurt, but think about this, if you were in the same situation, how would you react? I know that your response would be one of rejoice, because that bastard is finally gone. I say to that, is that really the case, or is that the front that you want people to believe.
Kurt, you tell me that it is time for me to decide if the pain and pleasure outweigh each other. I don’t see it that way Kurt. What I see is the pleasure of gaining a measure of revenge for what you did to me last week! And how will I do that, by inflicting pain on you and Thunder Thighs! Kurt there is only one thing that I suggest you ponder while preparing for this match. How much pain will it be that I dish out! See there is no amount of pain you can’t dish out that I can’t take. There is no amount of pain you can give to me that I have already experienced. What is the answer, well Kurt, I suggest you think about it. I’ll see you at Felo De Se.
OOC: Sorry guys it late, but I asked Rev for an extension and he granted it to me. Thanks Rev, so here it is.
I came to this gym because it reminded me so much of Robbie’s old gym, and the shape that it was in when I finally stepped inside it for the first time in five years. It too had a run of the muck feel. This place gave me that feeling of being at home, in the old gym. It gave me that sense of going to the basics, even if conditions weren’t idea. It taught toughness, which is often forgotten about in this business. I felt almost a warm sensation of happiness. It made me feel good about my chances in the match against the Revolution. I knew this place would get me ready. I know that Kurt Burton and Thunder were happy to see this match. To them, this is a week off. To me, this was a chance at Revenge. I touched the bandage on my head and I remembered back to that day on Felo De Se.
Williams goes to make a cover, but no referee. Thunder takes care of Dean on the outside with a chair shot to the head. Williams turns around and is met with a shot from Thunder. As Kurt follows it up with the Feedback, a second referee rushes down to the ring. He checks on Williams to see if he wants to give it up be Williams is not responding so the referee calls for the finish.
The mere thought of that moment made me sick to my stomach. That can’t, and won’t happen again. As I began to walk to the locker room and as I took everything of this gym in, I wondered to myself if my partner High Horror would be ready for this match. Then a small pit in my stomach began to grow as I began to think, of potential scenarios. It isn’t a stretch to think that High Horror could possibly leave me out to dry. It wasn’t long ago, that I beat him to advance in the New Breed Reign tournament. He could still be very bitter from that, and I wouldn’t blame him. If I had lost to a guy three times in a row, I’d be bitter too.
I sat down at a locker and pulled my towel out of my gym bag. I didn’t bring much with me today because I couldn’t trust anyone here. Not that they aren’t decent people, but in the location that I was currently in, I wasn’t leaving anything to chance. I grabbed my towel and began to go to work. I started out on the treadmill. I turned it up and began to run hard.
In through the nose, out through the mouth. In through the nose, out through the mouth. That is all I concentrated on as I took step by step. I was so enthralled in my work, I closed my eyes and listened to the cadence of my feet on the treadmill and the breathing in out of my lungs. Then I started to hear a voice in my head.
: Push Josh, you got it! Push it to the limit, no quit!!!Robbie………could it really be him? No, it couldn’t be. It’s got to be the heat in this joint. I couldn’t have heard his voice. There is no way. Just then
Robbie: Josh, you can’t loose focus! You think they beat you bad last week, they are gonna do worse to you this week!
What was he talking about when he said they? Was he talking about the Revolution? I think it might be the heat in the gym getting to me. Maybe I should go work on my striking on the heavy bag. That usually calms me down. I walked over to the bag and began to punch it. I thought about Thunder and the chairshot, and the cut it left on my head. I began to punch harder. I blocked out everyone turning to look at me. I stepped back and kicked it as hard as I could. All I could see was Kurt Burton, mocking me.
Robbie: Come on Josh, fight! These guys want to mangle you. They want humiliate you! You can’t let them do it!!! FIGHT IT!!!
The voice was there again. It was so real, just like he was there, standing over top of me like he was when I was younger. Finally I stopped and screamed!! The place went quiet as they all turned to me. Was I breaking down? I didn’t know, I felt numb as a tear began to well up in my eyes. It was then I looked at my spectators, and I couldn’t let them see me in this condition. I turned around and began to shove through the crowd of spectators. I walked into the locker room and sat down.
: Josh, is everything ok with you?I looked up, and I was shocked to see who I saw. It was High Horror. My tag partner for thisweek saw me have a near nervous breakdown in the gym. This should go over well.
”I’m fine.”
HH: You sure, you seemed distraught out there.
”I said I’m fine.”
I wanted him to go away, but there he stood. He was there, he wouldn’t budge. No matter how I tried, I didn’t know how I would get him to leave me be. Horror sat down beside me.
HH: You can’t pull that crap on me Josh. Look man, I know that you and I have went rounds in the past. But we are a team this week on FDS. Kurt and Thunder, they are tag champs for a reason. We need to be focused physically and mentally. And I don’t know about you, but you seem to me like you are there physically, but not upstairs.
”You know nothing about me and what I went through.”
HH: Then enlighten me.
”You want enlightened Sean, you really want enlightened? Ok, I was 15, coming home from a house show with my trainer. He took me in after my parents and my aunt died. He was basically a father figure to me, although he never adopted me, he was there for everything. So, we were on those roads, and it was raining. He and I got into an argument, and he lost focus of the road and we went over a cliff…….I made it ……..but…….but HE DIED!”
With that, I felt my voice start to become weary. I was getting weaker. This was the first time I had opened up to anyone about this that wasn’t a former student of Robbie’s. How did I know how Horror would take it? How do I know he wouldn’t just laugh at me?
HH: So, your trainer died.
”You don’t get it. He was more than that, he was a father figure to me. My parents were deadbeats that got shot in a driveby. My aunt died of cancer six months after I went to live with her. Robbie took me off the streets and taught me this craft! Then he was taken away! You know what the hell of it is Sean!”
My eyes had tears backed up. I was trying hard not to let them go. I needed to be strong. But I felt weaker in the knees.
HH: What?
”The hell of it is that wreck should’ve killed me and it didn’t! I’ve never forgiven myself for it! I didn’t show up at the funeral because of my guilt. And for six years I’ve been holding it in!”
Horror looked at me with a intrigued look. To him, I seem calm, cool, collected in all my efforts. He had no idea about my past. He had no idea.
HH: You’re right man, I had no idea. But let me give you something to think about. You’ve probably heard it time and time before, but it isn’t your fault. God had a plan when this happened. Maybe he wanted to use this pain as a motivation for you. But the way it seems that you are going about it no, this pain will consume you if you let it. You say that you haven’t been to his grave in six years. Josh, holding something in that long will make you crazy, and the pain won’t go away. You need closure, and that’s what you should do, is go to his grave, and make peace with the demons.
It was the same song and dance that I’ve heard for six years. But finally, it had began to sink in. Maybe because it was an outside source, maybe because I was getting tired of the demons, but I knew what I needed to do at that point. I shook Horror’s hand and we got up off that bench in the locker room. We grabbed our bags and we headed out, ready for the FDS showdown of our lives.
Message to Kurt Burton- The Truth of the Pain
Hi Kurt. I got your message about last week. Yes, I’ll admit, Thunder swings a pretty chair shot. Kurt, it seems I’ve struck a nerve talking about your father. I know that you hate him for everything that you can think he’s done wrong. For everything he’s done, it was probably for your own good Kurt, but yet you have some justification to say otherwise.
Kurt, as much as you hate your father, you can’t hate him as much as much as I hate myself for what happened to my trainer. At least you have a father Kurt! You want to know what happened to mine. He got shot! Yeah with a real bullet out on the real street!! Kurt you have no idea what that feels like. You always had a father looking out for your own good. But you couldn’t see the guidance because you have been washed in your own self-glory for so damn long. You say you had pain, and you harnessed it, well let’s talk about that Kurt. The pain you have, and the pain I have are nothing a like. But what we do with it are the same, we both use it to harness it. I harness my pain with my hatred in anger to dominate in the ring.
You’re right, maybe I have wallowed in my sorrow. And maybe it might have dragged me down Kurt, but think about this, if you were in the same situation, how would you react? I know that your response would be one of rejoice, because that bastard is finally gone. I say to that, is that really the case, or is that the front that you want people to believe.
Kurt, you tell me that it is time for me to decide if the pain and pleasure outweigh each other. I don’t see it that way Kurt. What I see is the pleasure of gaining a measure of revenge for what you did to me last week! And how will I do that, by inflicting pain on you and Thunder Thighs! Kurt there is only one thing that I suggest you ponder while preparing for this match. How much pain will it be that I dish out! See there is no amount of pain you can’t dish out that I can’t take. There is no amount of pain you can give to me that I have already experienced. What is the answer, well Kurt, I suggest you think about it. I’ll see you at Felo De Se.
OOC: Sorry guys it late, but I asked Rev for an extension and he granted it to me. Thanks Rev, so here it is.
