Official Monday Night Raw Thread: 2/18/08

I don't think it's fighting seeing that you didn't care and I didn't see that before and I don't really care I just thought I add that to the you trying to fight the figure mod.

You see, this is why JBL is a god. He just did what most wrestling fans have been wanting to see for months..

That was so satisfying to watch.

Moore and Wang Yang qualified for the Rumble and they were ousted, the wwe make things up on the fly sometimes.

^^^WTF are you guys talking about, get out of the Raw thread if you just want to burn eachother.

I understand you better now.

OMG we're tottaly fighting, some of you are ignorant. I JUST said I was stating a opionion so shut up unless you know what your talking about.

Solid show overall, but where the hell was Jericho? Umaga? Flair?

How did they just conveniently forget three of their top guys?

wwe.com has an "Update" on Hornswoggle

ANAHEIM, Calif. – After being brutalized by JBL Monday night during a Steel Cage Match with his father, Mr. McMahon, Hornswoggle is being evaluated at a local medical facility in the Anaheim, Calif., area.

Hornswoggle, sources said, suffered head and internal injuries after being repeatedly slammed into the cage by JBL. Sources close to the situation told WWE.com that he has yet to regain consciousness and was bleeding from the mouth, nose and ears. It was speculated that the bleeding may be related to Hornswoggle’s head and internal injuries.

Other sources also said that shortly after Hornswoggle was transported from the Honda Center, he went into shock. Stay with WWE.com for further updates on Hornswoggle’s condition as they become available

This was probably the worst episode of RAW I have ever seen. Every match's outcome could have been predicted from two or three weeks ago, the storylines they have going are atrocious, and the build to Wrestle Mania is off to a rocky start (to say the least). Here's what I thought of the show:

Paul Burchill sucks. He has no charisma, his current character has no promise, and whatever talent he has is being left out there to dry in part by horrendous booking. A match against Super Crazy? Are you kidding? Let's not kid ourselves - this match would be destined for Heat if it wasn't for WWE's harebrained scheme to introduce us to Burchill's incest gimmick. I flipped the channel to X-Play during this one, so I didn't see the finish, but does it really take a Rhodes Scholar to know that Burchill won? Bring back the pirate schema, guys, that was at least mildly entertaining. Burchill and his butterface "sister" are going no where fast.

Another Money in the Bank ladder match at Wrestle Mania? This is what, the fourth time they've done this? Fifth? They're beating this match into the ground worse than the steel cage. Remember when the cage was only used to settle the most heated feuds between the top superstars in the company? Yeah... more on that particular match type later; back to the delightful contests to determine the six participants in this year's Money in the Bank match. The first match was Jeff Hardy vs. Snitsky. First off, let me just say that I don't know what the point in having a Snitsky is. The guy is big, pasty, has acne pock marks and yellow teeth. Great? I mean, is he supposed to be a big threat to any championships, or is he just sort of the token big guy they use to lose to the littler performers, so JR can yell out, "How will he defeat Snitsky? He's such a massive athlete!" He's pointless, useless, and most of all, worthless.

For the entire match, Snitsky had the upper hand, not that it really mattered, as we knew Jeff would "overcome" his barrage of "injuries" from the Elimination Chamber and qualify for Wrestle Mania. We knew Jeff would win tonight, and we know he's going to win at 'Mania. He's one of the hottest guys going right now, and they should just give him his title shot right now. I fail to see what the use of giving this guy a title shot even is, as he already has a championship which he never defends, but this is WWE we're talking about.

The second qualifying match was between Ken Kennedy, whose character was funny for maybe two months, Val Venis, who hasn't been culturally relevant since last millennium. Can the writers throw us a bone, here, and at least give us a match between two people we think have a chance at winning? Does anybody honestly expect to see Val Venis competing in a ladder match at the biggest pay per view of the year? Val Venis? Terrible booking, just awful. The match itself was worse than Val's hairline and the crowd was deader than Val's gimmick.

A good thing came from those two matches, however: new theme music! Well, "good" is perhaps too critical a word. Both Hardy and Kennedy had new music; Hardy's was crap rock, the same type of annoyingly over-processed tunes the company's been using for years for their show's theme tunes while Kennedy's was a re-working of his already horrible song. It couldn't get worse than this, could it?

Why, yes it could! I should learn to never question myself so much, as I already know the answers. With new theme music in tow, possibly straight from the Soggy Bottom Boys themselves, comes THE BIG SHOW. Name in all capitals because he's big and he's back! The only thing more boorish than his new them was the promo that followed. Show wanted Floyd "Money" Mayweather to come down to the ring to issue him an apology. I don't know what a giant-sized man who really didn't do anything would apologize for, let alone to the guy that broke his nose the night before, alas, it was happening.

Out comes "Money" Mayweather, posse full of fat black men and men in hooded sweatshirts, fresh nickname, and hilariously awful 50 Cent theme music in check. Wait, you mean to tell me Floyd "The Boxer," err.. "Money" Mayweather, the guy that was on WWE programming for maybe five or so minutes, already has theme music and his own Titantron video? Sure! Why not.

After the two shake hands, Floyd's genius tune kicks back into gear, and he marches up the ramp wiping down his face like he's a dirty kitten. Big Show tells him he's "done exactly what I was asked to do," and taunts him, saying he wants him one on one: good boxer versus overweight, talentless wrestler. Mayweather storms the ring, runs his paw over his face, then takes off his shirt readying to make a decision. "I ACCEPT!" Cool! The dead crowd wakes up when Mayweather feigns a punch to Show, who flinches. Then again, I'd flinch, only my flinch is more toward what is about to happen - a boxing match between a real champion boxer and the guy who used to parade himself around in a shirt that said "chicks dig it big." (For future reference, that phrase isn't safe for work, so don't type it into Google)

When you thought it couldn't get any worse, it does! A steel cage is lowered to house Mr. McMahon and Hornswoggle. A 60+ year-old company owner versus a 21-year-old midget leprechaun. Only in WWE (as TNA has a wrestler convinced he is a shark, so these two companies are treading completely different water). Long story short, Finlay (whom I enjoy) gets handcuffed to the top rope with those handcuffs with the reeeally long chain, JBL, having nothing better to do, comes from under the ring and attacks the midget and Finlay, and Mr. McMahon does absolutely nothing but remove his belt and slap his "son" for a minute before exiting. WWE, as a fan of yours and all you have done, please kill this angle. We're not convinced the midget is Vince's son, we hate the circus you are turning RAW into, and we most certainly are not entertained. Apologies to the three or four of you who enjoyed this charade. Chris Jericho, who if you remember was to "save us," did not make an appearance to further his program with JBL. Typical.

Shawn Michaels came out to introduce Ric Flair as the first of this year's Hall of Fame class. I hate the Hall of Fame. It may be an honor to the wrestlers inducted into it, but it's just further proof WWE wants to be like real, professional sports like the NFL or MLB. They furthered themselves by doing "power rankings" on the WWE site, and offering "fantasy wrestling" not too long ago. Anyhow, HBK comes out to say a word or two about how much he wants to sleep with Flair, we're shown a video package (surely the majority from Flair's DVD), and that is that. It was hard to watch. Shawn is my favorite wrestler by far, and this is what they gave him? Why not have Flair come out and thank him? Start a little respect feud before 'Mania, announce a match, just do SOMETHING! No sir. Instead, Shawn stands there awkwardly, looks off into the crowd, and his music hits several seconds later. Nice going, WWE. Another missed opportunity. Close, if you'd remember, only counts in horseshoes.

The highlight of the night for me was seeing Santino and Maria come out and do their little shtick. Santino is awesome; he has great microphone skill, he's funny, and he's a real bang-up guy in the ring. Maria is, of course, very hot. The Playboy angle is stupid as, if you've read Playboy, you'd already know that Maria is going to be in next month's issue. I did enjoy seeing Beth Phoenix come out and face Maria, however. I like Phoenix; she's the best they have in the ring, and she's not ugly, like other "big women" (Chyna, Nicole Bass, etc.). Didn't care for seeing Candace Michelle, but we all knew Maria had to win. Just never let Phoenix drop that belt and we'll be good. (Which, of course, means she'll drop it at the next pay per view.)

Main event time: John Cena versus Randy "Why don't I 'Orton pose' anymore?" Orton. Here's the twist - HHH is referee! We all knew Cena would win due to Vince's love affair with the guy. Dull match, plenty of Cena antics, and Hunter calls it right down the middle. Nothing at all that exciting or unexpected, as is the standard for this brand. The show ends with HHH giving a pedigree to both competitors. It's funny, because the pedigree isn't even the pedigree anymore. Not a single wrestler can take it like they would maybe six or seven years ago. It's always the 'ol hook both arms, jump, let go of their arms, and push them down routine. The move has taken on new meaning over the years and looks like shit. It's weird, isn't it? How the tombstone was a "banned" move back when HHH was actually giving his opponents a real pedigree where he held their arms the entire time? Now the tombstones looks better than ever, oftentimes with the guy's head actually hitting the mat, and the pedigree looks weak. Sign of the times, I guess.

Anyhoo, awful show. The good was seeing the commercials advertising the No Way Out repeats, watching Big Show get his nose broken, and Santino. The bad was everything else. Randy's going to lose that belt in 41 days, but to who? Cena or HHH? They'll probably call it a tie and the world will explode due to a lack of caring. Yawn.