Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 13, 2013 16:24:50 GMT -5
Awesome, thanks man!
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 13, 2013 15:29:45 GMT -5
Yo, hello, hi, and all that good stuff again. Hey man. Welcome back to the WFWF. By any chance, what is your pic base? PM me it if you would like. Was most likely just going to go with my original pic base; David Draiman, since I am feeling classic lately. xD
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 13, 2013 10:28:53 GMT -5
So let me say first that choice of scene was not bad. McDonalds isn't the worst backdrop, and by far just depends on how it is used inside the roleplay. With that said, I would also say "be wary of average settings." Well maybe, just be more wary of using them in an average way. I mean if he is at McDonalds, than you want to have a reason WHY he is there, or the backdrop be relatable to the match/story at hand. The character may be attached to an ordinary world, but a good scene can set the pace for a great roleplay. Again, this is not true for every good roleplay, but its a good thing to keep in mind when deciding where it should "take place."
Now, I want to go over the negatives, and end with the positives. The biggest problem is Depth, the story is shallow. When it comes to your character, you need to give him some sort of existence outside of wrestling. Breathe life into him, its a lesson we all have to learn in character development. You can gain insight by reading veteran rps, and also just reading some short stories. Lovecraft, Poe, King, etc. These may give some idea as to the what you can do with a character, and I think the ones I named fit into a possible inspiration for the character. The idea is the story shouldn't be just about wfwf, or the match, but the character and their struggles with it. Let yourself fall in love with your on going narration. If you keep up bettering yourself, you will soon be creating character arcs within story arcs.
The next depth problem is the description, its too simple. Stories require exaggeration; sometimes only for the sake of it. I am not saying just "draw it out longer", but you need to be willing to look deeper into what your character might be thinking. Also you can create a cast of outside the ring characters, to aid in the content. Maybe the classic disgruntled father, disappointed...its a trope...but what I am getting at is, you want to open your world up a bit. That way you don't end up with the "citizen", and the conversation that could be had between you and the character can mean more, have double meanings...etc. Rping doesn't have to be on the nose throughout the whole roleplay.
So character depth, and description depth need work.
The positive, is a separated section for a shoot. Its a good thing to do when you are learning, and can just be great as a veteran. I think back on my own "sermons" and Kyzers musings. Its a great way to talk about your match, and let it interfere less in your actual story. So kudos!
Keep up the good work, just keep writing. You'll get there if you keep it, dedication is key.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 13, 2013 8:04:45 GMT -5
Yo, hello, hi, and all that good stuff again.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Aug 23, 2011 9:56:47 GMT -5
any one notice Kyzer said faced...not beat....I still feel the birth pains of being strung up on a cross.... :/ I thought that I win every match I am in when I post something was understood. ....chut up
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Aug 23, 2011 8:27:53 GMT -5
any one notice Kyzer said faced...not beat....I still feel the birth pains of being strung up on a cross.... :/
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Aug 6, 2011 8:28:05 GMT -5
Thats cool and it did look like a pig first lol. Why was he randomly filming the sky though...seems odd might have just been because of the low hang on the clouds, then of course came the face or the side view of one....haha
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Aug 4, 2011 21:43:24 GMT -5
It's nice to believe life is possible on mars. Some scientist theorize that that is where earth life actually began...I could give you a link if your more interested...if not..im merely stating an interesting theory. ;D
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Aug 2, 2011 9:51:47 GMT -5
Most stuff I still get to do when I want. I get to be a pretty big kid somehow....regardless. I miss playing CCGs and miniatures and rping at the local gaming store. I have kids and life so I dont really have the time and ha...i definitely dont have the money for lol. I might have extra money at times...but not for that anymore.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 31, 2011 20:00:06 GMT -5
I bought Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. A Borders is going out of business not too far from where I live and I got it for 20% off. I would have bought some more books had I not had like five other books in my possession I still need to read. That was how I felt, I ended up picking up a cheap new writers market, which i was torn between a few books but got it in the end. I think closer to when they close I will go back...until then I am good, I still have like 6 or so books that im behind on reading bc of getting a few at the library....
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 29, 2011 22:38:59 GMT -5
went and saw it tonight, dont want to spoil anything but I thought it was really good. I had high hopes and i felt it lived up to it in my mind.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 29, 2011 14:03:11 GMT -5
"shakes head and walks away....."
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 28, 2011 19:07:25 GMT -5
Why do I have to pay extra sales tax to pay for a baseball stadium I will never use? Why would I pay taxes for schools I never use? You shouldn't have to. PRIVATIZE. you want to privatize all schools...seriously?
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 28, 2011 18:48:03 GMT -5
bought/reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 28, 2011 18:45:15 GMT -5
actually this world has the resources and the ability, its those who tend to horde said resources that I have a problem with. When one percent of this country holds over half the countries money...I have a distinct problem with the greed that got us here. God forbid the most successful people in the country be rewarded for their work and actually be able to retain those rewards. God forbid. To bad quite a bit of the most successful, used the backs of others to attain that wealth and none of it had to do with them, other then taking advantage of others. but since we ignore that people who actually do make mistakes and try to fix them...i guess you probably ignore the crooks who are rich but retain the crooks who are poor. And what is so bad about a society where we help eachother and help others who need it. Why is it assumed that all who need helped do not need it and it was all their fault. We as the human race should be working towards the goal of unity and not conformity into greed which has been the soul idea in most of this countries richest. You know what, if this is what this world is to become, then I will just have to be something else. I dont care for the idealism of everyone who is below poverty level is due simply to their own ignorance and nothing in life can possibly happen as long as your perfect. Its those who preach this sort of selfish idealism, that continue the trend that others should appeal to it. Im out of the conversation because ethics and reason cannot be had anywhere within it.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 28, 2011 14:20:14 GMT -5
And what of the guy who's 16 or 17, gets peer pressured into carjacking a car and ends up shooting and killing someone in the process. One mistake at a very young age. You're saying he should not have to suffer the consequences for that? The thing is we cannot afford to pay for people who do stupid things any more. It's not a matter of being selfish. It's a matter of not having the resources. There are people out there who truly and honestly cannot take care of themselves. They lack the capacity to take care of themselves. We should care for them. I'd argue we have a moral obligation to do so. We have the resources to do so. We should. Then you have those who chose not to work (we should not take care of them no matter what) and those who are reaping the consequences of bad decisions that they have made (we don't have the resources to take care of them). Please tell me how the 55 year old man who has saved $0 for retirement has not made a mistake. Please explain that to me. You mean to tell me this guy had no clue that he was going to wake up one day and need/want to retire? Please tell me how the same guy finding out he has cancer after failing to buy health insurance is not making a mistake? I know a guy who passed away recently from cancer in his mid-40s. He had health insurance, but no life insurance. He found out he had cancer and, of course, you can't get life insurance at that point. No company will touch you. Because he had no life insurance, his wife and kids are now struggling as he was the primary bread winner. Should the life insurance companies be forced to cover someone like him? To make things worse, he was a clergyman and had opted out of Social Security so his loved ones can't even fall back on that. I feel for the family of that man. I really do. I don't feel a huge obligation to provide for his family though. The guy did not intend to screw over and his wife and kids. There's no doubt in my mind about that. That does not change the fact that that is effectively what he did. He was a relatively young man and healthy and saw no reason why he needed life insurance. Tell me how his decision not to buy life insurance was not a bad decision. actually this world has the resources and the ability, its those who tend to horde said resources that I have a problem with. When one percent of this country holds over half the countries money...I have a distinct problem with the greed that got us here.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 28, 2011 10:44:52 GMT -5
Why is it a person has to be ignorant if they make mistakes in life and then spend the rest of it trying to fix it? Where are the ethics on the grounds that a human being is capable of fouling once in life( at the very least). Were all people and defined as such we are all creatures, that by mistakes, try to correct selves and try to make better wiser decisions when a similar situation. What if the mistake is not by them but their spouse, are they to divorce then due to their foul up? Then where is the line here. Everyone makes mistakes. It's when you make the exact same mistake week after week after week and month after month after month (not saving for retirement or not buying healthcare) that makes you stupid. It's like the guy who is driving around a 20 year old beater car that hasn't had the oil changed since the Reagan administration and you can see it coming in a cloud of black smoke from a mile away. He goes out one day and the car won't start and he's shocked and surprised. How could he possibly have prepared for this? It's not his fault the car won't start. Umm, yes it is. He's driving a car that's on it's last legs. He needs to prepare for the fact that the car will die one day. You will be 55 one day and want/need to retire. You will get sick one day and want/need health insurance. If you just ignore that and don't plan for it, to me you're stupid and I have no sympathy for you. That's all I'm saying. I'm not saying you don't have the right to make a mistake. I'm saying I should have the right to not pay for your mistake and I certainly should not have to pay for your mistake that you made every single month for 20+ years. You (generic you) failed to save a single penny for retirement. Now I have to pay for your mistake? WTF??? Not for a single mess up no. You lock your keys in your car once, it's a mistake. I'm not going to call you dumb for doing it. You lock your keys in your car EVERY SINGLE DAY for 20+ years I'm going to call you stupid. It's the same mistake, only you're making it every day. What about those that made ONE single BIG mistake that cost them. For instance, if a man did have insurance and found out he had cancer. It was HIS FIRST mistake but it was big enough to impact his entire life at age 19. You dont know that everyone was constantly making the same mistake over and over, week after week, it could have been once and could have fouled up the rest of their life. Your assumptions is what makes your problem for you. And furthermore, why shouldnt we help people. At what point in the history of this species are we going to stop being so selfish, while all the while trying to pretend to be great moral people. This idea that each for himself and to the best man the spoils, is selfish in itself and is a main problem with how we got ourselves into most of our situations as a nation. Greed is great....pleh. I dont deny we failed everyone as a country for how it was run but this ideal notion of yours that for each failure your foolish and we shouldnt help anyone because most are just ignorant is just wrong.
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 28, 2011 10:15:10 GMT -5
Why is it a person has to be ignorant if they make mistakes in life and then spend the rest of it trying to fix it? Where are the ethics on the grounds that a human being is capable of fouling once in life( at the very least). Were all people and defined as such we are all creatures, that by mistakes, try to correct selves and try to make better wiser decisions when a similar situation. What if the mistake is not by them but their spouse, are they to divorce then due to their foul up? Then where is the line here.
I want to know where you have the RIGHT to state ignorance when a man is allowed a mistake in life. I am not denying that people are using the system, I am not even denying we cant pay for it. But it is due to mistakes by our government, not the people themselves in life that drove us to this point. I could say that because it didnt work the gov. should have known better already and just lame the blame on the few who truly failed up.
No one has the right to state any man ignorant for a mess up in life....
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 27, 2011 11:10:13 GMT -5
I dont know, my problem in this situation...is it was a themepark...so really what possible dress code could they have. I know that some people do wear stuff just to draw attention to themselves which I dislike and others do it because they just love it and I can never tell which is which. I mean I've been ask to do things in places and have done so as not to cause any trouble because I knew that my clothing was a bit overly dramatic for where I was...that being said...even if your asked...doesnt mean you have to. A person can ask out of courtesy just not wanting to see a stir caused over intolerance...and you still dont have to abide...idk...blah
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Revvie®
Main Eventer
Somewhere between Reality, and the Absurd
Joined on: Jun 29, 2005 1:04:26 GMT -5
Posts: 4,327
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Post by Revvie® on Jul 27, 2011 7:03:50 GMT -5
I find it ridiculous that people are actually arguing against whats slappy is saying. My father was sick his entire life, worked his entire life because ss would not say he was handicapped. Took him till he was 47 and dying due to overworking prexisting problems. Awesome...it was obviously his fault for not planning his life out at age 23 when it all started, it was his fault for working to provide his family because they would only continously deny him until a doctor told him no more and still had to wait five years. So yea...he should lose it...makes perfect sense to me....ridiculous....is all im going to say. 1. He could have had health insurance to pay for his medical expenses. You didn't say whether he did or didn't, but I'm going to presume he did. If not, then yes, it was partially his fault. 2. Clearly this is a case where social security did NOT work... Which is exactly what we've been saying... 3. You don't have to do hard, manual labor to be "working." your right you dont, you just have to make enough to support a family...which unless your just PERFECT throughout life, sometimes manual labor becomes the way to do that.
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