Post by Kurt Burton: Script Doctor! on May 20, 2006 23:19:53 GMT -5
Kurt stands on the Suspension Bridge, in the shadow of its massive peaks. Behind him the Skyline of Cincinatti looms. The sound of traffic whizzing by fills the air, as well as the hum of the bridge. He stands directly in front of the Carew Tower. He reaches into his pocket and whips out a pack of non-filtered cigarettes. He slides one out of his pack and puts it to his lips.
Kid Spandex. The proof of why pregnant mothers should not smoke crack. The definition of lame. A waste of my time, and my talent. First, at Code Red, I was pitted against the ridiculous, face paint wearing comic book freak they call Venom. Now, I'm being pitted against this SUperman wannabe..
He reaches into his pocket, and whips out a Zippo. He flicks it open with a deft lighter trick, and lights his smoke all in one swift motion. He laughs, and stares directly into the camera.
Hey, f***tard, I've got news for ya... You ain't f***ing Batman. How coked up do you have to be to think your costume was a good idea? I will tell you, this little nut-case fruit cake has no idea what is in store for him. See... my heart is more polluted than this river.
He points down to the river. The camera pans down. A filthy brown color, little pieces of garbage float by.
The stench of this river is nothing compared to the stench of my rotten, shriveled soul. I have taken pleasure kicking your kind's ass at every Hair band tribute show I can find. I take pleasure in snapping the backs of little fruit loops like you. I find nothing more satisfying than a blood soaked mullet.
Kurt takes a long deep drag off his cigarette. He pushes the smoke out through his nose. The look on fis face fades from a smile, to something almost demonic in its cruelty.
I am this brutal because I know how the world is. I know that one moment you can have all the sex money and drugs you could ever want, and the next be left with nothing but a scar. But you, Kid Spandex... you bounce around in your pretty little fairy costume...with your bright happy colors. You think that all wrestlers should where Spandex. Why? Does it fulfill some little homo-erotic fantasy? Do you think we're all super-heroes? Well I'm here to tell you, we're not super-heroes... there is no good or evil, only your pathetic ass, my sadistic ass, and that squared circle. So come get beaten to a bloody pulp, if you dare!
Kurt turns and begins to walk away... he turns, as though he has forgotten something.
By the way, I'll have a little surprise for you and your bloated washed up manager...the Underwear...guy? I think you'll like it.
Kurt starts to walk away. The camera follows him as he heads towards Cincinatti. He tosses his cigarette in the river.
F***ing Spandex Kid... you can't make this Chocolate Shark up
The screen fades to static.
Kid Spandex. The proof of why pregnant mothers should not smoke crack. The definition of lame. A waste of my time, and my talent. First, at Code Red, I was pitted against the ridiculous, face paint wearing comic book freak they call Venom. Now, I'm being pitted against this SUperman wannabe..
He reaches into his pocket, and whips out a Zippo. He flicks it open with a deft lighter trick, and lights his smoke all in one swift motion. He laughs, and stares directly into the camera.
Hey, f***tard, I've got news for ya... You ain't f***ing Batman. How coked up do you have to be to think your costume was a good idea? I will tell you, this little nut-case fruit cake has no idea what is in store for him. See... my heart is more polluted than this river.
He points down to the river. The camera pans down. A filthy brown color, little pieces of garbage float by.
The stench of this river is nothing compared to the stench of my rotten, shriveled soul. I have taken pleasure kicking your kind's ass at every Hair band tribute show I can find. I take pleasure in snapping the backs of little fruit loops like you. I find nothing more satisfying than a blood soaked mullet.
Kurt takes a long deep drag off his cigarette. He pushes the smoke out through his nose. The look on fis face fades from a smile, to something almost demonic in its cruelty.
I am this brutal because I know how the world is. I know that one moment you can have all the sex money and drugs you could ever want, and the next be left with nothing but a scar. But you, Kid Spandex... you bounce around in your pretty little fairy costume...with your bright happy colors. You think that all wrestlers should where Spandex. Why? Does it fulfill some little homo-erotic fantasy? Do you think we're all super-heroes? Well I'm here to tell you, we're not super-heroes... there is no good or evil, only your pathetic ass, my sadistic ass, and that squared circle. So come get beaten to a bloody pulp, if you dare!
Kurt turns and begins to walk away... he turns, as though he has forgotten something.
By the way, I'll have a little surprise for you and your bloated washed up manager...the Underwear...guy? I think you'll like it.
Kurt starts to walk away. The camera follows him as he heads towards Cincinatti. He tosses his cigarette in the river.
F***ing Spandex Kid... you can't make this Chocolate Shark up
The screen fades to static.
