HS RP:The EAGLE has landed | Wrestlingfigs.com WWE Figure Forums

Ramos
Main Eventer

Joined on: Sept 19, 2007 13:58:31 GMT -5
Posts: 2,264

HS RP:The EAGLE has landed Nov 26, 2006 10:56:56 GMT -5

Post by Ramos on Nov 26, 2006 10:56:56 GMT -5

Eagle walks on screen.

Here I am, getting my shot in the big time. All my life I have been held down because I’m different but now I have my chance to showcase my talents to the world and I debut tonight against The High Horror. Well Horror you better get ready for the beating of your life. You ever seen that film The Birds? Well I’m just like them misunderstood and as soon as you step in the ring with me you better get ready to be taken out of the arena on a stretcher as I will ravage on your soul.

You say you will defeat me because USA always helped Britain win wars. Well the tide is turning and when I beat you it will be the start of a revolution.

Always remember this Horror speed and power may defeat me however I have superior brains and I will use them to kick the living hell out of your sorry little ass.

You have a 5 inch height advantage and we way the same but what I lose in height I make up for in Mat wrestling. Think about it the Greatest High-Flying Technician, minus myself, was of course The Dynamite Kid Tom Billington who was a short guy.

Eagle takes a drink of Red Wine.

You see Horror I like things that are red and I will love seeing the blood pour from your head and I will wipe it off with a towel and keep it as a trophy as I continue to beat the living hell out of people. Horror listen to me after I hit you with a Talon Drop the last thing you will ever hear are the numbers 1…..2……3.

Eagle walks off leaving and the camera zooms into the Celtic cross on the wall

electricenigma
Guest

HS RP:The EAGLE has landed Nov 26, 2006 11:00:06 GMT -5

Post by electricenigma on Nov 26, 2006 11:00:06 GMT -5

Okay, before I even read through, I've got some suggestions.

1.) Doing something to seperate your speech from your actions. Color, specific symbols, something. Doesn't matter what, just use it.

2.) Use more description. Describe your surroundings, etc.

3.) Try to talk about your opponent a bit more.

You're early in your career, but you can fly if you use things. Now, time to flyyyyyyyy like the eagle, over the sea, right?

Calvin
Main Eventer

visit my myspace and listen to my music

Joined on: Dec 18, 2001 15:13:21 GMT -5
Posts: 3,791

HS RP:The EAGLE has landed Nov 28, 2006 3:28:37 GMT -5

Post by Calvin on Nov 28, 2006 3:28:37 GMT -5

I had huge problems knowing what was speech, and what was description. Bold your description. That's the easiest way to solve that.

Now onto the rp. No offense to you, but I have never seen ANYONE ever open up for a scene with that short of a sentence before. You did not set a setting here at all. Every rp needs a setting. All you gotta do is find out where you wanna set the rp, and describe it. It's that easy.

Speech was hard to read, as I said. You gotta stop saying "I'm gonna beat you grrr!" over and over. You did give some reasons as to why you'll beat them, but you gotta expand. The problem is all youa re saying is I'll do this and I'll beat your ass. A lot more is needed there then that. You'll learn. Just read some rps to get the feel.