Post by Reasoning through Questioning on Mar 9, 2007 10:48:19 GMT -5
Malice and his dumber than dogsh*t cousin Hank are standing at the checkout of the local Wal- Mart. Malice his holding a big box of huggies. Hank is intently looking at a pack of Big Red wondering how best to slip it into his pocket unnoticed. He’s go to reach for it and Malice slaps his hand down.
Hank : Owww!! Whatcha do that fer ?
Malice : Stealin will send you to Hell Hank. Ain’t you ever read the Good Book.
Hank : Well of course. But I ain’t stealin Johnny. I was just gonna look at the label.
Malice : Horsesh*t Hank. Now don’t go tryin to take nothing else. Ya hear ?
Hank : Yeah. Why ya got that big ole box of diapers Johnny? You ain’t got no baby.
Malice : They ain’t fer me Hank. I bought em for Christina.
Hank : Who’s Christina. Ya knock her up.
Malice : No Hank. I got a match against her. I got her that diapers cause I think she’s pregnant. She’ll need em when that youngen comes along.
Hank : Christina ? I think you mean Christian. I thought you had a match against Christian Shields.
Malice : Nope. I do believe it’s Christina.
Hank : Nope your wrong. I remember hearing Granny mention it. She said something about some tournament your in also. Said if you won you got a contract on F.D.S permanently.
Malice : All that’s right Hank. But I still think it’s Christina. How about we just call who ever it is Chrissy. Is that fine with you ?
Hank : Yeah I reckon that is alright.
Cashier : Is that it sir ?
Malice : Yes ma’am it is.
Malice handed her the money and she gave him his change and sacked the diapers and the pack of Big Red that Hank just had to have. Hank and Johnny made their way to Johnny’s truck in the parking lot. Petey was glad to see Johnny but was not so excited about Hank.
Petey : Growl….
Hank : What’s he growlin at me fer Johnny ?
Malice : Well it’s simple Hank… He don’t like ya.
Hank : Well could ya talk to him fer me.
Malice : Give him a piece of gum and he might let ya in.
Hank : A piece of my gum ? He’s a dog Johnny.
Petey : Bark ( Damn right a piece of gum.)
Malice : Your pissin him off Hank. Just one piece.
Hank cautiously dropped a piece of his precious gum down to Petey through the partially cracked window. Petey thought about getting one more out of him but decided against it and scooted over so Hank could enter the truck. Johnny got in and cranked it up and they exited the parking lot and proceeded down the road.
Hank : So what the deal with the tournament Johnny ? Are ya worried at all ?
Petey : Wuff Wuff ( Petey what the hell is he doin with us ? Let’s drop him off on the side of the road )
Malice : Quiet down Petey. It’s ok. No Hank I’m not worried all that much. Out of the sixteen people in the tournament I would say only a handful are actually deserving at all. For those of us who actually can stand in the ring and hold our own, this tournament should be nothing more than a small test. Chrissy is just a rung on the ladder of victory. A small part of the journey. Almost insignificant. But Chrissy is needed. Needed as an example of what will happen if you think you can stand face to face with pure hate and fury. I will take away his will to live. When we clash in that ring he will have to try very hard to remember why he became a wrestler in the first place. It’s wasn’t to get beaten like he will. I guarantee he never thought in a thousand years that one man could hold this much fury and pain inside of him. I will unleash this hate upon him and his body will buckle due to this ungodly punishment. Chrissy is not ready nor will he ever be ready. And then I will pursue the rest of those who stand in my way. Like a tsunami I will crash through them and take what they all want… Victory ! No man is safe, no man is ready, no man will ever be prepared for the new Malice that has awoken.
Hank : What the hell is wrong with you ? Have you gone nuts ? You’ve never talked like this before.
Malice : Well no sh*t Hank. That’s why I’m the new Malice.
Hank : Well to be honest I wet myself a little.
Malice : Well that’s good Hank. That’s what I was goin for.
Petey : Wuff ( You always knew you we’re a p*ssy Hank. )
Johnny his dog and his now frightened cousin Hank continued down the road. Malice had a look in his eye of pure hatred for Christian. How would this match go ? Would Malice secure victory and continue on to the next round ? Will he be defeated and wallow in his loss ? Find out this and more in the next edition of The Redneck Adventures of Malice and Petey.
O.O.C. : I really liked this Rp. I hope most of you do as well.Let me know what ya think. I'm really trying to get some direction for Malice. As for everyone in the tournament good luck and may the best man win.
Hank : Owww!! Whatcha do that fer ?
Malice : Stealin will send you to Hell Hank. Ain’t you ever read the Good Book.
Hank : Well of course. But I ain’t stealin Johnny. I was just gonna look at the label.
Malice : Horsesh*t Hank. Now don’t go tryin to take nothing else. Ya hear ?
Hank : Yeah. Why ya got that big ole box of diapers Johnny? You ain’t got no baby.
Malice : They ain’t fer me Hank. I bought em for Christina.
Hank : Who’s Christina. Ya knock her up.
Malice : No Hank. I got a match against her. I got her that diapers cause I think she’s pregnant. She’ll need em when that youngen comes along.
Hank : Christina ? I think you mean Christian. I thought you had a match against Christian Shields.
Malice : Nope. I do believe it’s Christina.
Hank : Nope your wrong. I remember hearing Granny mention it. She said something about some tournament your in also. Said if you won you got a contract on F.D.S permanently.
Malice : All that’s right Hank. But I still think it’s Christina. How about we just call who ever it is Chrissy. Is that fine with you ?
Hank : Yeah I reckon that is alright.
Cashier : Is that it sir ?
Malice : Yes ma’am it is.
Malice handed her the money and she gave him his change and sacked the diapers and the pack of Big Red that Hank just had to have. Hank and Johnny made their way to Johnny’s truck in the parking lot. Petey was glad to see Johnny but was not so excited about Hank.
Petey : Growl….
Hank : What’s he growlin at me fer Johnny ?
Malice : Well it’s simple Hank… He don’t like ya.
Hank : Well could ya talk to him fer me.
Malice : Give him a piece of gum and he might let ya in.
Hank : A piece of my gum ? He’s a dog Johnny.
Petey : Bark ( Damn right a piece of gum.)
Malice : Your pissin him off Hank. Just one piece.
Hank cautiously dropped a piece of his precious gum down to Petey through the partially cracked window. Petey thought about getting one more out of him but decided against it and scooted over so Hank could enter the truck. Johnny got in and cranked it up and they exited the parking lot and proceeded down the road.
Hank : So what the deal with the tournament Johnny ? Are ya worried at all ?
Petey : Wuff Wuff ( Petey what the hell is he doin with us ? Let’s drop him off on the side of the road )
Malice : Quiet down Petey. It’s ok. No Hank I’m not worried all that much. Out of the sixteen people in the tournament I would say only a handful are actually deserving at all. For those of us who actually can stand in the ring and hold our own, this tournament should be nothing more than a small test. Chrissy is just a rung on the ladder of victory. A small part of the journey. Almost insignificant. But Chrissy is needed. Needed as an example of what will happen if you think you can stand face to face with pure hate and fury. I will take away his will to live. When we clash in that ring he will have to try very hard to remember why he became a wrestler in the first place. It’s wasn’t to get beaten like he will. I guarantee he never thought in a thousand years that one man could hold this much fury and pain inside of him. I will unleash this hate upon him and his body will buckle due to this ungodly punishment. Chrissy is not ready nor will he ever be ready. And then I will pursue the rest of those who stand in my way. Like a tsunami I will crash through them and take what they all want… Victory ! No man is safe, no man is ready, no man will ever be prepared for the new Malice that has awoken.
Hank : What the hell is wrong with you ? Have you gone nuts ? You’ve never talked like this before.
Malice : Well no sh*t Hank. That’s why I’m the new Malice.
Hank : Well to be honest I wet myself a little.
Malice : Well that’s good Hank. That’s what I was goin for.
Petey : Wuff ( You always knew you we’re a p*ssy Hank. )
Johnny his dog and his now frightened cousin Hank continued down the road. Malice had a look in his eye of pure hatred for Christian. How would this match go ? Would Malice secure victory and continue on to the next round ? Will he be defeated and wallow in his loss ? Find out this and more in the next edition of The Redneck Adventures of Malice and Petey.
O.O.C. : I really liked this Rp. I hope most of you do as well.Let me know what ya think. I'm really trying to get some direction for Malice. As for everyone in the tournament good luck and may the best man win.
