Post by jesterslaugh on Apr 12, 2007 1:24:08 GMT -5
Anger, one of the most common emotions. Everybody experiences it at many points in their life. When the man in the car next to you swerves over and almost clips your bumper, when your kick the edge of your couch, when your dog eats your favorite pair of shoes, when your boss gives the promotion to someone else. Anger is a normal thing for any human, the only problem comes when people choose to repress their anger, bury it deep down inside their mind, letting it fester and burn at their soul till finally it reaches a boiling point. And when they reach that point, that is when the problems truly begin.
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His voice actually makes me want to jam a pencil into my ears, anything to not have to listen to this little fat man drone on and on.
Dr. Lindell: Dane, you must come to terms with what has happened in your life.
I look directly into his eyes before taking a long drag on my cigarette and blowing the smoke towards him.
Dr. Lindell: Dane I understand what you are going through, I’ve helped many people through things like this, you will get better.
I’ll get better, ha. If he only knew the thoughts I had in my head, the thought to strangle him with the cornflower blue tie he is wearing today. To watch his pudgy face slowly turn blue and than purple and than just watch him expire, but these kind of thoughts are why I’m here. I try to focus in on what he is saying, maybe he really can help.
Dr. Lindell: Now Dane, I think the problems truly began when your parents were in the car crash, and I think you still blame yourself for it.
He thinks I blame myself for it, of course I blame myself for it, it was my fault. If I would of just gone to pick them up from the airport instead of letting them take a taxi, the accident wouldn’t have involved them, hell it might not of even of happened. All I know is that my laziness and my selfishness caused their death.
Dr. Lindell: It wasn’t your fault, the driver was drunk and he slammed head first into another car. Nothing you could of done could of stopped that.
Dane: Did you know that I refused to go and pick them up, that I told them to take a cab. Thus I had a slight hand in it.
Dr. Lindell: Dane, God has a funny way of working sometimes. It was their time, nothing you could of done could of changed that, your parents were both good people and I’m sure they are happy wherever they are.
I hate when people start trying to tell me that it was their time. I hate it when they say that its all god’s plan, that they are happy somewhere else. I try to believe it, hell I visit their grave and talk to them. But deep down in my heart I know that they are just dead, rotting in the ground, their bodies decomposing. I can feel my anger rising, the Dr. is still talking but I’ve stopped listening. All I see is his fat jowls bouncing around as he speaks, little beads of sweat pouring down his face. He has his jacket off and the yellow dress shirt he has on has stains of mustard and sweat all of it. I keep staring into his face, my stomach begins to churn with bile as I watch spit fly from his mouth, I notice slowly I am clenching my hands so hard they are bleeding. I hardly notice the pain, but Dr. Lindell begins to notice how intensely I’m staring at him.
Dr. Lindell: Dane, are you ok. Tell me about it, I’ll help you, that’s what I’m here for. I’m your friend Dane.
I hear his words, but in his eyes I can see his true meaning, “Dane you are a loser, and idiot, your pathetic life means nothing, and I’m better than you. Have you seen my diploma, its from a big college that would never let you in.” The saliva in my mouth dries up and is replaced by searing bile, the taste in my mouth begins to make me sick, but not nearly as sick as I am of hearing this
ing Dr. Lindell tell me how screwed up I am.
Dr. Lindell: *Fear in his voice* Dane are you all right, Dane you need to settle down.
I watch him take a large gulp, than I notice a change in his face, he puts on a serious face and sits up straighter in his chair, he leans in towards me.
Dr. Lindell: *In a calm, steady tone* This is why you are hear in the first place, if you had some control than you would have never killed that girl.
I am suddenly floating above the room, I feel nothing, I look around and notice the face is covered in dust bunnies that could kill a small child, I smile slightly, I look down slowly and see myself, I’m shaking with rage and my breathes are coming in ragged gasps, the tension in the room is amazing. Dr. Lindell is slowly sitting back his chair, cowering. Its odd as I look down on myself, I don’t seem to have any control over my body, but something is sure controlling me, suddenly I see myself spring from seat on the couch and leap half way across the desk, and grab onto the Dr.’s tie, pulling him closely towards my face. My voice is barely more than a growl, and Dr. Lindell looks to be about to pass out.
Dane: Alright fat man, its time for you to listen now. I’m done listening to your bullcrap. You think you know everything, because you went to some big expensive college, because your mommy and daddy love you, because you have a mustang, because your bank account is large.
From the ceiling I can tell that Dr. Lindell is about to pass out, his face is turning a deep shade of purple, but all I can do is watch, as I hear myself let out a small, sick laugh, slowly I see myself pull Dr. Lindell closer, so he is just inches from my face, my eyes boring holes through his head.
Dane: Its time for you learn, you don’t know crap. All you are is a big piece of crap who lies to himself to make himself feel better. Your delusions of grandeur are what have made you like this. Because you see you think you are someone, you think that you deserve better than the rest. People like you make me sick. You little, fat, ugly, basturd today is your wake up call. Learn that you are nothing, that you know crap and maybe, someday you will be able to considered human again.
Dr. Lindell’s face has become a deep magenta, and his eyes seem to be fluttering, I realize that I’m watching myself kill him, I suddenly am in control of my body again, I quickly let go of Dr. Lindell’s tie, he falls backwards, gasping for air, and coughing, I look down at my hands, the cuts on them are bleeding badly now, the bandages are a turning a deep crimson. I slowly begin to look up to Dr. Lindell, he is breathing hard, rubbing his neck, I can see he is trying to say something. The anger inside of me has staved off, now instead of a disgusting little fat man, all I can see is a sad looking man, probably alone in this world, just trying to survive. I begin to back up slowly, my stomach is riding a roller coaster, and I feel like I’m going to get sick right on the spot, my mouth opens, but instead of vomit, words come flooding out.
Dane: I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I couldn’t control myself, you….you….you….said it was my fault. But I didn’t do it.
Dr. Lindell’s eyes suddenly flutter and he seems to almost pass out, his pants become wet with urine, as I turn around and run out of the office. The receptionist yells at me.
Receptionist: Mr. Christian, what’s going on? What was all that noise?!
I turn around slowly, my eyes burning, though I’m not sure if its from tears or rage. Dr. Lindell staggers to the door of his office, his eyes are burning with rage and his fat body is heaving with anger.
Dr. Lindell: You get the out of here, and if I ever see you again I’ll have to cops called on you so fast, you will spend the next 50 years of your life in prison.
I stagger backwards towards the front door, Dr. Lindell’s eyes following me the whole way. I’m mortified at what I’ve done, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I am happy to finally be free of that fat man.
Fin
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His voice actually makes me want to jam a pencil into my ears, anything to not have to listen to this little fat man drone on and on.
Dr. Lindell: Dane, you must come to terms with what has happened in your life.
I look directly into his eyes before taking a long drag on my cigarette and blowing the smoke towards him.
Dr. Lindell: Dane I understand what you are going through, I’ve helped many people through things like this, you will get better.
I’ll get better, ha. If he only knew the thoughts I had in my head, the thought to strangle him with the cornflower blue tie he is wearing today. To watch his pudgy face slowly turn blue and than purple and than just watch him expire, but these kind of thoughts are why I’m here. I try to focus in on what he is saying, maybe he really can help.
Dr. Lindell: Now Dane, I think the problems truly began when your parents were in the car crash, and I think you still blame yourself for it.
He thinks I blame myself for it, of course I blame myself for it, it was my fault. If I would of just gone to pick them up from the airport instead of letting them take a taxi, the accident wouldn’t have involved them, hell it might not of even of happened. All I know is that my laziness and my selfishness caused their death.
Dr. Lindell: It wasn’t your fault, the driver was drunk and he slammed head first into another car. Nothing you could of done could of stopped that.
Dane: Did you know that I refused to go and pick them up, that I told them to take a cab. Thus I had a slight hand in it.
Dr. Lindell: Dane, God has a funny way of working sometimes. It was their time, nothing you could of done could of changed that, your parents were both good people and I’m sure they are happy wherever they are.
I hate when people start trying to tell me that it was their time. I hate it when they say that its all god’s plan, that they are happy somewhere else. I try to believe it, hell I visit their grave and talk to them. But deep down in my heart I know that they are just dead, rotting in the ground, their bodies decomposing. I can feel my anger rising, the Dr. is still talking but I’ve stopped listening. All I see is his fat jowls bouncing around as he speaks, little beads of sweat pouring down his face. He has his jacket off and the yellow dress shirt he has on has stains of mustard and sweat all of it. I keep staring into his face, my stomach begins to churn with bile as I watch spit fly from his mouth, I notice slowly I am clenching my hands so hard they are bleeding. I hardly notice the pain, but Dr. Lindell begins to notice how intensely I’m staring at him.
Dr. Lindell: Dane, are you ok. Tell me about it, I’ll help you, that’s what I’m here for. I’m your friend Dane.
I hear his words, but in his eyes I can see his true meaning, “Dane you are a loser, and idiot, your pathetic life means nothing, and I’m better than you. Have you seen my diploma, its from a big college that would never let you in.” The saliva in my mouth dries up and is replaced by searing bile, the taste in my mouth begins to make me sick, but not nearly as sick as I am of hearing this
ing Dr. Lindell tell me how screwed up I am.Dr. Lindell: *Fear in his voice* Dane are you all right, Dane you need to settle down.
I watch him take a large gulp, than I notice a change in his face, he puts on a serious face and sits up straighter in his chair, he leans in towards me.
Dr. Lindell: *In a calm, steady tone* This is why you are hear in the first place, if you had some control than you would have never killed that girl.
I am suddenly floating above the room, I feel nothing, I look around and notice the face is covered in dust bunnies that could kill a small child, I smile slightly, I look down slowly and see myself, I’m shaking with rage and my breathes are coming in ragged gasps, the tension in the room is amazing. Dr. Lindell is slowly sitting back his chair, cowering. Its odd as I look down on myself, I don’t seem to have any control over my body, but something is sure controlling me, suddenly I see myself spring from seat on the couch and leap half way across the desk, and grab onto the Dr.’s tie, pulling him closely towards my face. My voice is barely more than a growl, and Dr. Lindell looks to be about to pass out.
Dane: Alright fat man, its time for you to listen now. I’m done listening to your bullcrap. You think you know everything, because you went to some big expensive college, because your mommy and daddy love you, because you have a mustang, because your bank account is large.
From the ceiling I can tell that Dr. Lindell is about to pass out, his face is turning a deep shade of purple, but all I can do is watch, as I hear myself let out a small, sick laugh, slowly I see myself pull Dr. Lindell closer, so he is just inches from my face, my eyes boring holes through his head.
Dane: Its time for you learn, you don’t know crap. All you are is a big piece of crap who lies to himself to make himself feel better. Your delusions of grandeur are what have made you like this. Because you see you think you are someone, you think that you deserve better than the rest. People like you make me sick. You little, fat, ugly, basturd today is your wake up call. Learn that you are nothing, that you know crap and maybe, someday you will be able to considered human again.
Dr. Lindell’s face has become a deep magenta, and his eyes seem to be fluttering, I realize that I’m watching myself kill him, I suddenly am in control of my body again, I quickly let go of Dr. Lindell’s tie, he falls backwards, gasping for air, and coughing, I look down at my hands, the cuts on them are bleeding badly now, the bandages are a turning a deep crimson. I slowly begin to look up to Dr. Lindell, he is breathing hard, rubbing his neck, I can see he is trying to say something. The anger inside of me has staved off, now instead of a disgusting little fat man, all I can see is a sad looking man, probably alone in this world, just trying to survive. I begin to back up slowly, my stomach is riding a roller coaster, and I feel like I’m going to get sick right on the spot, my mouth opens, but instead of vomit, words come flooding out.
Dane: I’m so sorry, I’m sorry. I couldn’t control myself, you….you….you….said it was my fault. But I didn’t do it.
Dr. Lindell’s eyes suddenly flutter and he seems to almost pass out, his pants become wet with urine, as I turn around and run out of the office. The receptionist yells at me.
Receptionist: Mr. Christian, what’s going on? What was all that noise?!
I turn around slowly, my eyes burning, though I’m not sure if its from tears or rage. Dr. Lindell staggers to the door of his office, his eyes are burning with rage and his fat body is heaving with anger.
Dr. Lindell: You get the
out of here, and if I ever see you again I’ll have to cops called on you so fast, you will spend the next 50 years of your life in prison.I stagger backwards towards the front door, Dr. Lindell’s eyes following me the whole way. I’m mortified at what I’ve done, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I am happy to finally be free of that fat man.
Fin