WFWF Loaded Results: December 2nd

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Matthew Werner: Good evening and welcome to WFWF Loaded! I’m here with Matt Steel and ringside. And Matt, do you have any idea what’s going on in the ring right now?

Matt Steel: They must have moved bingo night ahead this week.

Matthew Werner: Bingo night?

Matt Steel: You don’t know about bingo night?

Matthew Werner: I must have never been invited.

Matt Steel: How sad. Okay, shut up. The boss is about to talk.

Trace Demon: Good evening, everybody. We’ve got a great show tonight, but right now I bet you’re all wondering what this stuff is for.

Matt Steel: We are.

Matthew Werner: Shut up.

Matt Steel: What? Can’t I make witty asides while he talks?

Matthew Werner: No.

Matt Steel: See, this is why you’re never invited to bingo night.

Trace Demon: What you see in front of me are the WFWF Tag Team Titles. Since I have taken over, these titles have remained vacant and have essentially been ignored. That is about to change. In two weeks time at the conclusion Loaded we will have new Tag Team Champions.

There will be a one night tournament involving the entire WFWF roster. That means there will be seven teams and that means that one team will receive a bye into the semi-finals. How? Well, next week a member from each of the teams will compete in a battle royal with the winner receiving the bye for his team.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Right now we’ve got to announce the teams. And how will I do that? Yes, the names will be chosen at random from the bingo tumbler. So, let’s get started.

Matthew Werner: This should be interesting. Remember, anybody can team up.

Matt Steel: Including me?

Matthew Werner: No. Not you.

Matt Steel: Boo.

Trace Demon: Our first team will consist of . . . David Roberts and . . . Sam Kineval. The next team is . . . Johnny “The Movie Man” Michaels and . . . Aaron Ashton.

Matthew Werner: A Hall of Famer and a young new star. Very interesting combination.

Trace Demon: Up next we have . . . Kronic and . . . Yukio Blaze.

Matt Steel: International Champion and that guy who couldn’t be the World Champion!

Matthew Werner: They’ve got to be one of the favorites.

Matt Steel: Except that the one guy is a loser.

Trace Demon: Vanessa McGurk and . . . Sheer Domination. Then we have . . . David Williams and . . . Ace Bennett. Reckless and . . . High Horror.

Matthew Werner: Wow. The two guys that maybe hate each other the most in all of the WFWF will have to team up in two weeks. How will they coexist?

Matt Steel: They won’t.

Trace Demon: And that means our final team is Master of Destruction and the WFWF World Champion, Thunder. Now, before I let you go for now, I will announce the representatives for the battle royal next week. They are: Sam Kineval, Johnny Michaels, Kronic, Sheer Domination, Ace Bennett, Reckless and Master of Destruction. That’s all for now. I’ll see you a little bit later in the night.

Matthew Werner: What a huge announcement. Not only will new Tag Team Champions be crowned in two weeks, but we’ve got a battle royal next week with huge ramifications.

Matt Steel: And everybody loves battle royals.

Matthew Werner: Except for Communists.

Matt Steel: That’s right. Except for Communists.


Sheer Domination & Ace Bennett vs. Aaron Ashton & Sam Kineval
Winners: Aaron Ashton & Sam Kineval – Match Write Up Pending

Matthew Werner: Later on tonight we will see the new International Champion, Kronic, in action, but right now it’s time to find out who will face him at The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Matt Steel: Why bother? We all know Roberts is going to win this match.

Matthew Werner: Why?

Matt Steel: Because he’s a guy. A chick doesn’t stand a chance in the ring with a man.

Matthew Werner: That’s so sexist.

Matt Steel: What, you’re a feminist now? Gonna burn your bra? Actually, with how much weight you’ve put on, you probably are wearing one right . . .

Matthew Werner: Let’s just head to the ring.

Matt Steel: Whatever you say, Tubs.


Keri Thames: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the rights to face WFWF International Champion Kronic at Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Matthew Werner: That sure was a mouthful.

Matt Steel: I’ll give her a . . .

Matthew Werner: Don’t say it.

The arena lights fall as shades of red fill the entrance way, as the sound of "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" breaks the silence of the arena. Vanessa quickly motions out of the entrance curtain and quickly makes her way to the ring. Vanessa leaps onto apron and jumps over the ropes and leaps into the ring. The lights slowly return as the sound of "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me" slowly fade away.

Keri Thames: Introducing first, weighing in at 115 pounds, VANESSA MCGURK!!!

The arena gets very quiet and "Stronger" by Kanye West begins to play. The crowd rises to it's feet as it waits for the Street King. Fireworks go off and and David Roberts walks through the curtain and senses the atmosphere in the arena. The fans cheer him on heavily as he makes his way down to the ring. He high fives the fans and enters the ring through the second rope after climbing onto the apron. He gets in the ring and points to the heavens and thanks god he is here as the crowd heavily chear his name. He climbs all turnbuckles and points to the crowd. He takes off his hoodie and his skull cap and gives it to the ring announcer. Roberts waits in the corner for the match to begin.

Keri Thames: Her opponent hails from Oradell, New Jersey and weighs in at 260 pounds . . . DAVID ROBERTS!!!

The two lock up as the bell sounds. Due to the weight difference, the result is obvious. Roberts backs her up to the corner. Once he does so, he seems reluctant to hit her. Vanessa breaks the silence by giving him a slap to the face. The now angered Roberts picks her up and gives her a black hole slam.[/color]

Matt Steel: Yeah! Go men!

Matthew Werner: Now we see the problem of the 150 pound weight difference.

Matt Steel: And the fact that she’s a woman.

Any problems Roberts had with attacking a woman are apparently gone. He picks her up by the hair and throws her into the corner. Charging at her, he takes too long. She moves out of the way, causing Roberts to hit his head on the ring post. He stumbles back and is met with an enziguiri from Vanessa. He stumbles back but doesn’t fall down. She follows it up with a wheel kick and then climbs the top rope to hit a whisper in the wind that knocks Roberts down. Still, he is able to roll out of the ring and out onto the floor.[/color]

Matthew Werner: What a comeback by Vanessa McGurk!

Matt Steel: He let that happen. It’s just a way to make her feel empowered.

Roberts walks around a bit, taking his eye away from the ring. During this time, Vanessa jumps on the apron and hits an Asai moonsault once he turns around. Unfortunately for her, Roberts catches her and rams her face first into the ring post. She falls down hard on the floor outside the ring.[/color]

Matthew Werner: Looks like Vanessa is real hurt there.

Matt Steel: Nah. She’s probably just faking it. Women do that all the time, you know. Like when I was with this one girl and we were in . . .

Matthew Werner: Too much information.

Roberts rolls the fallen Vanessa into the ring but makes the mistake of not capitalizing. By the time he pulls her back up again, she hits him with yet another enziguiri. This time he stumbles back into the corner and she charges at him to hit a splash of her own. This also fails. Roberts picks her up and hits a backbreaker, followed by a cover.

. . . 1 . . .

. . . 2 . . .

Kickout by Vanessa.[/color]

Matthew Werner: Give her credit for kicking out of that.

Matt Steel: I won’t.

Frustrated, Roberts sends her into the ropes, looking to finish her off with a spinebuster. He puts her into the air with it, but Vanessa repositions her knees so that they land right on Robert’s jaw. This time it is a leaping high legged clothesline that sends Roberts down. She then quickly climbs the top rope, hits the Phoenix Splash, and makes a cover.

. . . 1 . . .

. . . 2 . . .

. . . 3! . . .[/color]

Matt Steel: What the hell just happened?

Matthew Werner: A woman just beat a big strong man.

Matt Steel: Impossible!

Matthew Werner: And now it’s time for tag team action.

Matt Steel: But we already had some earlier.

Matthew Werner: Well, we’re getting it again.

Matt Steel: Two tag matches on one show are way too many. God forbid if we have a whole night of just those.

Matthew Werner: We are. It’s two weeks from tonight.

Matt Steel: Damn. How did I miss that?

Matthew Werner: You didn’t. We were both right here when the announcement was made.

Matt Steel: Woah. I’m drunker than I thought.

The lights in the arena fade to black as the beginning of 'Bang Bang You're Dead' begins to play. The letters 'M.O.D' flash on the screen until the song reaches it's main part and there is a large explosion. The lights come back on and Master of Destruction enters the arena. He looks at the crowd with some distain. He shakes his head and begins walking to the ring, occasionally stopping to taunt some fans. He walks up the stairs and climbs through the ropes before climbing upon two out of the four turnbuckles posing with his arms crossed. He then stands leaning on one corner waiting for his opponent.[/color]

Keri Thames: The following contest is a tag team match. Introducing first, weighing in at 169 pounds, MASTER OF DESTRUCTION!!! His partner is already in the ring . . . RECKLESS!!!

Matt Steel: Where’s his entrance?

Matthew Werner: Good question.

All of the lights except a very dim orange one are out. The orange light is set at the top of the stage. Though vague, you can make out the outline of a man standing in the light. The PA system is blaring the overture to Hard-Rock Hallelujah. All of a sudden a series of powerful guitar chords begin to play as techno-color strobe lights flicker on and off, bright and dim. High Horror puts his arms straight up from his side. He puts his hands above his head and quickly jerks them down as a powerful medley of blue, red, and orange flames shoot up from the stage. Horror proceeds down the ramp, into the ring. Horror runs the ropes a few times then throws his fists into the air.

Matt Steel: You know, that whole thing is still stupid after all this time.


Matthew Werner:But there’s a POWERFUL MEDLY OF FLAMES, man.

Keri Thames: And now, their opponents. Introducing first, weighing in at 290 pounds . . .

Matt Steel: He’s fat.

Keri Thames: . . . HIGH HORROR!!!

The arena lights dim as the big screen displays a black and white movie style count down running from 3 to 1 before “Miss You” by Feeder hits the sound system and a small amount of white pyros explode in the entrance way. Seconds after the pyros end WFWF hall of famer Johnny Michaels jumps through the smoke onto the stage. Once out Michaels runs to each side of the stage in turn and waves his arms signalling to the crowd to get up before he then starts to walk to the ring high fiving and shaking hands with some fans on his way then, at the half way point of the ramp, Michaels runs to the ring and slides under the bottom rope to enter it. In the ring Michaels leaps to his feet and runs off the ropes once to test there strength before climbing up the top right and bottom left turnbuckles where he raises his arms to the crowd before jumping down and preparing for the match ahead.[/color]

Keri Thames:And his partner, weighing in at 182 pounds, JOHNNY MICHAELS!!!

As the bell sounds, Reckless stays in the ring to start the match. But when Horror also stays in the ring, Reckless quickly makes a tag to MOD instead of confronting his rival. Despite the weight difference, that doesn’t stop MOD from being the aggression. He gives Horror a punch to the face right away and sends him into the ropes, hitting a dropkick. Next he attempts a suplex but Horror is able to block it and hit one of his own. He then sends MOD into the corner and misses a splash, giving MOD a chance to hit a superkick and tag Reckless in.

Matthew Werner: So this is the way it’s going to work. Reckless won’t come in until his rival is down.

Matt Steel: That’s called playing it smart.

Reckless comes in and quickly gives him a DDT. Bringing him to his feet, he hits him with several punches and then attempts a bulldog, but Horror throws him off. He is about to go on the attack when Reckless slides out of the ring to get away from him.

Matthew Werner: This is ridiculous. Looks like Reckless isn’t so willing to face-off with Horror without Williams here.

Matt Steel:It’s not his fault that Williams is lazy and never does anything, thereby kind of hurting what’s been going on with these three.

Matthew Werner: Harsh.

Matt Steel: Somebody had to say it eventually.

The referee begins to count out Reckless, who is in no hurry to get back in the ring. Horror doesn’t take his eyes off him either, shouting something at Reckless. During this, MOD comes up from behind him and gives him a low blow. This gets Michaels in ring, at which point Reckless gets back in the ring. The referee then has to get Michaels back outside the ring, which leads to Reckless and MOD hitting a spike piledriver on Reckless.[/color]

Matt Steel: Great teamwork there from Reckless and MOD.

Matthew Werner: But it’s cheating.

Matt Steel: Who cares?

Matthew Werner: You know, this is a pretty boring block of commentary.

Matt Steel: Yep.

Reckless works on Horror’s leg for a bit before locking in a Texas cloverleaf. After a bit of struggling, he reaches the ropes, at which point Reckless tags in MOD. He comes off the top rope with an elbow after which Reckless leaves. MOD attempts the Peak of Destruction, but Horror slips out the back, sends him into the turnbuckle and tags in Michaels.[/color]

Matthew Werner: Hot tag!

Matt Steel: I’ve never seen this before!

Michaels immediately hits MOD with several dropkicks, hitting him with another each time he gets back up. He climbs up top for a moonsault. MOD moves out of the way, but Michaels is able to land on his feet. But before he can go after him again, Reckless is tagged in and blindsides him a clothesline. A second later he is also blindsided by a big boot from Horror. Horror then goes after MOD, leaving Michaels and Reckless in the ring. Recovering much quicker than his opponent, Michaels hits the Expanded Edition and makes a cover.

. . . 1 . . .

. . . 2 . . .

. . . 3! . . .

Keri Thames: Here are your winners, High Horror and Johnny Michaels!

Matthew Werner: Big win here for Michaels and Horror.

Matt Steel: I don’t know about “big.” Maybe a moderately-sized win.

Matthew Werner: I hate you.

We come back from a commercial break with Trace Demon in the ring. Along with him is a podium and a table which holds the WFWF World Championship.

Trace Demon:Before we begin this, I would like to briefly make an announcement regarding the main event of our next PPV, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. In keeping with the show’s name, the main event will be a hardcore match which I am calling the Main Event Massacre. Then the question is, of course, who will be in the match. With so many deserving people on the roster, I just couldn’t pick one. So, I went with two men that are most certainly deserving. They’re veterans in this ring and have done it all before. And maybe, just maybe, they might settle their differences one and for all. You’ve probably guessed it by now. At The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, it will be Thunder vs. Johnny Michaels vs. Master of Destruction for the WFWF Championship!

And now, without further ado, ladies and gentleman, it is my honor and privilege to introduce to you the new WFWF World Champion, THUNDER!!!

”Cult of Personality” by Living Colour begins to play as confetti and balloons fall from the rafters. After a few seconds, Thunder emerges, being carried on top of thrown by several girls in very tiny bikinis.[/color]

Matthew Werner: This is absurd.

Matt Steel: Are you crazy? This is the kind of entrance a champion deserves. Look, girls in bikinis!

Matthew Werner: Okay, that part is great.

Matt Steel: Nobody believes you. We all know that you play for the other team.

Matthew Werner: I do not. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Matt Steel: Nothing wrong with that at all.

Matthew Werner: I have plenty of gay friends.

Matt Steel: My father’s gay.

The throne is carried to the ring, at which point he steps onto the apron and the girls hold the ropes open for him. He gets into the ring and stands behind the podium.[/color]

Thunder: Thank you. Thank you all so very, very much. This is just so unexpected. I don’t even know who to thank.

He reaches his sports coat and pulls out a piece of paper. It’s almost like he really did expect this because, you know, he did.[/color]

Thunder: First off, I would like to thank myself. With all that I have accomplished along with winning the World Title for the second time, I certainly deserve it. And, of course, I have to thank my good pal Yukio for being as mediocre as always. I knew you wouldn’t let me down. There’s a guy at the announce desk I’d like to thank. Matt Steel has always been one of my biggest supporters and for that I thank you.

Matt Steel: No, thank you, champ.

Matthew Werner: This is ridiculous.

Thunder: Hey, Werner. Shut your mouth. I didn’t ask for your opinion.

Matthew Werner: Wait. How could he hear that?

Matt Steel: The champ sees and hears everything.

Thunder: The other person I’d like to thank is the man standing next to me, Trace Demon. Now I know that I didn’t seem hot to the idea of having him in charge at first, but I’ve had a change of heart about that. As I have watched him I have seen a man who will surely lead the WFWF to great places. It will be an honor to lead this great company with you.

Trace Demon: Thank you, Thunder. The feeling is mutual. And with that, now as good a time as any to make my other announcement, which is the reason this is taking place here in the ring. The other man in this ring isn’t just your champion. He is going to be a lot more. If you haven’t noticed by now, I only associate with greatness. And when I find someone that goes above and beyond just about everyone else, I’m going to put that person to good use. And so, this man is not only your champion but also my new business partner. This is no longer just my company. It is our company. And together, I know these two brilliant minds will lead WFWF to the promised.

Matthew Werner: Did I hear that right? Trace and Thunder are working together now?

Matt Steel: This is the greatest night in the history of our sport.

Matthew Werner: I think I’m going to vomit.

Matt Steel: Do you know what time it is?

Matthew Werner: Main event time!

Matt Steel: No, really. What time is it? I think my watch is a little bit slow.

Matthew Werner: Can’t we do this later?

Matt Steel: But I really need to—

Keri Thames: The following contest is our main event!

Matt Steel: She’s always interrupting me.

Matthew Werner: She’s just doing her job.

Matt Steel: Well I think—

Keri Thames: It is scheduled for one fall.

Matt Steel: What a bitch.

“The Carpal Tunnel of Love” by Fall Out Boy plays on the PA as Kronic and Tabitha Owens walk out from behind the curtain. Kronic stands there awkwardly, as Tabitha nudges him down the aisle. Kronic high-fives a few hands of the fans in a nervous manner before sliding into the ring and hiding behind the referee.

Matt Steel: I mean, all I expect is—

Keri Thames: Introducing first, weighing in at 230 pounds . . . KRONIC!!!

Matt Steel: Oh, come on.

The entire arena goes black, then the cracks of Thunder and Lightning, along with the violin starts to fill the speakers and it abruptly stops. The arena lights come on, but the tron lights flicker with the beats of Miseria Cantere. Yukio Blaze comes out after a few seconds, with the crowd completely behind him. Yukio walks halfway down the ramp, following with him dropping to one knee to look over the crowd. Yukio kips up, then slides under the ring ropes, followed by him rolling up in the center of the ring as he crosses his arms and gestures devil horns with his right hand, while having his left fist clinched, as the song stops on, "YOU ARE NOW, ONE OF US". Yukio cracks his hands and fingers as he waits for the bell to sound.

Matt Steel: All I ask for is that—

Matthew Werner: You know that she’s going to interrupt you again, right?

Matt Steel: Why don’t you just shut up and mind—

Keri Thames: His opponent hails from Flint, Michigan . . . YUKIO BLAZE!!!

Matt Steel: How did you know?

Matthew Werner: ESP.

Matt Steel: I’ve always wanted to have that. You’ve got to show me some time.

As the bell sounds, the two men meet in the center of the ring. After a pause, Blaze offers his hand. After a bit of hesitation, he accepts the handshake. The two men then lock up. Blaze gets the advantage and locks Kronic in a side headlock. He quickly gets out of it by pushing Blaze into the ropes. Following this, he leapfrogs over him and then hits a handspring elbow. Slowly, he gets back up, holding his chin.

Matthew Werner: He doesn’t look too happy.

Matt Steel: Well, he better suck it up.

Blaze walks his way to Kronic, where the two lock up once again. And once again, Blaze puts Kronic into a side headlock before he gets out of it in the same manner. This time Kronic misses with a clothesline and is hit with a superkick from Blaze. The move knocks him out onto the floor. Blaze waits for him to reach his feet and then attempts a suicide dive, but Kronic moves out of the way, causing Blaze to crash and burn.

Matthew Werner: The high risk move sure didn’t pay off there.

Matt Steel: But Kronic isn’t exactly jumping to his feet either.

With the assistance of the barricade, both men reach their feet. The two begin exchanging right hands. The punches increase in force until Kronic hits one that busts Blaze’s lip open. He responds one that is hard enough to Kronic right off of his feet.

Matthew Werner: Any friendliness between those two is sure gone now.

Matt Steel: Which is awfully inconvenient considering they have to team up in two weeks.

Under the threat of being counted out, Blaze rolls back into the ring. As soon as Kronic climbs on to the apron, he gives him another right hand and sets up for a suplex. Kronic is able to land on his feet upon being catapulted into the ring. Still, Blaze attempts a Pele kick upon turning around. Kronic ducks and hits the Career Suicide. Following this, he climbs the top rope and waits for Blaze to reach his feet.

Matt Steel: I think we know what he’s going for here.

Matthew Werner: The Lollipop Drop!

Matt Steel: Yup.

Matthew Werner: And if he hits it, it’ll be over!

Matt Steel: Yup.

With surprising quickness, Blaze jumps up to the middle rope and gives Kronic a superplex, followed by a cover.

. . . 1 . . .

. . . 2 . . .

Kickout by Kronic. Upon reaching his feet, he is clearly frustrated. Because of this, he loses his focus. As soon as he turns around Kronic hits a spinning that stuns Blaze. Once again, he climbs the top rope. This time he does hit the Lollipop Drop and makes the cover.

. . . 1 . . .

. . . 2 . . .

. . . 3! . . .

Before the announcement of his victory can even be made, Trace Demon runs down to the ring with a microphone instead. But before he speaks he gives Blaze a kick to the head.

Trace Demon: Hello, Yukio. Pardon the interruption, but I would just like to confirm some things you might have heard. Yes, I do not particularly like you. Sure, I could fire you, but there’s not much fun in that. So instead, I am going to make your life a living hell and make sure that you never achieve anything in the rest of your time here. How’s that for a puppet owner Blaze?

Matthew Werner: What the hell is this about?

Matt Steel: Seriously, how do you know ESP?

Matthew Werner: Maybe we’ll find out next week!

The WFWF logo appears on the screen as the show fades out.[/color][/center]