Post by brklynbraller on Jan 17, 2008 19:05:29 GMT -5
Americans, they are so lazy. They have so many holidays. They have Christmas, Thanksgiving, 4th of July and many other holidays. They continue create more holidays so they can sit on there lazy asses. In Poland we only have 2 holidays, Turdlermas and Polanski day. Today is Polanski day. It is a holiday that the polish honor one of the greatest movies director/actor Polanski. On this day we celebrate by watching every one of Polanski’s movies and eat our favorite Polish delicacy. Today I have invited over some lady friends to enjoy this holiday with me. I have everything set up. The movie is set, dinner is cooking and the twister mat is out for naked twister. The ladies will be here any minute now. As I am checking on the cabbassa and cabbage, I suddenly hear the phone ring.
Yohan: Hello
Man: Hello is Yohan Turdler there.
Yohan: Who is this? Are you one of those telemarketers? I am so tired of you guys calling. Why would I want to change my long distance carrier? I obviously picked out my long distance plan and am very happy with it.
Man: No, I…
Yohan: Did you know in Poland that we can literally cut off your dialing finger for calling on Polanski day.
Man: I’m Ise
Yohan: Now why would I want to buy ice? I get it for free all the time. Hell, I can make it in my refrigerator. I would have to say my friend you are in a terrible business. Why would you sell something that everybody gets for free?
Ise: No, It is Ise. I'm the guy that is going to be your tag partner this week.
Yohan: Oh, sorry about that, lately I have been bothered by telemarketers.
Ise: That’s ok I just called to see if you’re ready for the match.
Yohan: How dare you even ask that question! Yohan is always ready for his matches. I will dominate like I do every week.
Ise: Yeah, I know, but I have never worked with you before.
Yohan: Yes, that is true. I usually only tag with STD, but the higher ups set up this little get together and since they rule with a iron fist I will comply.
Ise: Have you ever heard of these guys we are taking on?
Yohan: Ya, Zach punch line and Jay the gay guy.
Ise: I don’t think that is correct, but is pretty accurate.
Yohan: Yes, we will dominate them and then make them lick our boots because they are not worthy enough to be in the ring with such greatness as Yohan Turdler the 28 time Polish champion.
Ise: Hell these guys couldn’t even fight there way out of a paper bag.
Yohan: That’s the attitude Ise. They stand no chance against such greatness.
Ise: Sorry, I doubted you Yohan. We will be victorious this week.
(Yohan’s doorbell rings)
Yohan: I got to go; I have my own match to win tonight.
(Yohan hangs the phone up and answers the door)
Two ladies in skimpy clothing are standing in the doorway.
Yohan: Hello ladies, it looks like you are ready to celebrate Polanski day. Now who’s up for some naked twister?
Yohan: Hello
Man: Hello is Yohan Turdler there.
Yohan: Who is this? Are you one of those telemarketers? I am so tired of you guys calling. Why would I want to change my long distance carrier? I obviously picked out my long distance plan and am very happy with it.
Man: No, I…
Yohan: Did you know in Poland that we can literally cut off your dialing finger for calling on Polanski day.
Man: I’m Ise
Yohan: Now why would I want to buy ice? I get it for free all the time. Hell, I can make it in my refrigerator. I would have to say my friend you are in a terrible business. Why would you sell something that everybody gets for free?
Ise: No, It is Ise. I'm the guy that is going to be your tag partner this week.
Yohan: Oh, sorry about that, lately I have been bothered by telemarketers.
Ise: That’s ok I just called to see if you’re ready for the match.
Yohan: How dare you even ask that question! Yohan is always ready for his matches. I will dominate like I do every week.
Ise: Yeah, I know, but I have never worked with you before.
Yohan: Yes, that is true. I usually only tag with STD, but the higher ups set up this little get together and since they rule with a iron fist I will comply.
Ise: Have you ever heard of these guys we are taking on?
Yohan: Ya, Zach punch line and Jay the gay guy.
Ise: I don’t think that is correct, but is pretty accurate.
Yohan: Yes, we will dominate them and then make them lick our boots because they are not worthy enough to be in the ring with such greatness as Yohan Turdler the 28 time Polish champion.
Ise: Hell these guys couldn’t even fight there way out of a paper bag.
Yohan: That’s the attitude Ise. They stand no chance against such greatness.
Ise: Sorry, I doubted you Yohan. We will be victorious this week.
(Yohan’s doorbell rings)
Yohan: I got to go; I have my own match to win tonight.
(Yohan hangs the phone up and answers the door)
Two ladies in skimpy clothing are standing in the doorway.
Yohan: Hello ladies, it looks like you are ready to celebrate Polanski day. Now who’s up for some naked twister?