Post by Rated R on Mar 21, 2011 10:52:50 GMT -5
From the Blog of Trace Demon
I’m on a plane as a type this, heading to the WFWF show where I’ll be facing off with King Kraig’s boyfriend, EBR. I’m on a plane this close to the show because twenty four hours ago I wasn’t even going to show up.
Yes, I, Trace Demon, the man you worship, was going to miss the show and let you all suffer through a couple of hours of King Kraig and EBR bragging about me being a coward, Phillip Schneider bragging about what a bad ass he is and Yukio Blaze bragging about how he still has a job. But luckily for you all I’m going to show up and you can all brag that you got to watch the King of Demons live and in person.
But of course there’s a story behind this. You know just as well as I do that I wouldn’t flake on you for no good reason. For this story to make complete sense you need a little bit of context first. Now, to start off you all remember that I’m going to be a father right?
You don’t? Where’ve you been the past four months, sitting under a rock? Either that or your EBR and your too depressed with your own life to read about somebody’s awesome existence.
So I’m going to be a father. The mother of this demon spawn is Alexa. We’ve had a bumpy history but now we’re stronger than ever. And she’s awesome.
Just thought I’d rub that in your face a little. (I’ve got a rude joke here, but there may be kids reading)
As a professional wrestler I was once told that I’d never meet anybody who I could really be with because I’m always on the road. I’ve got it better than a few guys because I know how to balance my work schedule, but generally it’s pretty hard for a wrestler to have a long term relationship that isn’t with their own hand (You know who I’m talking about... Yukio Blaze)
But somehow I found Alexa. She was brought up on the road just like I was, bounced from place to place, from school to school. It’s not an easy life and I often get told that it’s the kind of lifestyle that breeds sociopaths but hey, I ended up alright.
Except for those few years when I was addicted to drink and drugs but the less said about that the better.
So Alexa can handle the road. In fact she loves the road so for the first time in my life I’m with a girl who is fine with me spending days away from home as I kick some ass. But of course pregnancy kind of changes things. Now she can’t travel because it’d be too much stress which means spending days on end away from the most important person in my life who just so happens to be carrying the second most important thing in my life.
It’s difficult being as great at my home life as I am in the wrestling ring, not that EBR would know anything about that.
But then came the other night. I was heading to the airport to head to Pittsburgh so I could kick some coward ass when I received a call from the hospital saying Alexa had taken a fall and that they were worried about the baby.
As you can expect, I freaked out and never got on that plane. Instead I rushed to the hospital and... Well, it’s a long story...
< *** >
I hate hospitals. The white shiny walls, the depressed doctors and nurses, each one looking exactly the same as all the rest, and the smell, oh god the smell. It’s like the smell of death trying to push its way through your nostrils and into your brain so it can destroy you from inside out.
As I said, I hate hospitals. But as soon as you receive that call, that call that says your pregnant girlfriend has had a bad fall and is in hospital you don’t think twice. You drop what your doing and you race to that hospital. You brave the walls even as they try to blind you with their sheer shininess, you brave the faceless doctors and nurses as they work to try and save people and you brave that smell of death, you fight it back and you push forward.
And why do you do it? Why do you put yourself through something like that?
You do it because you are in love and that is the strongest thing there is.
So as I rushed through the hospital to the ward I’d been told Alexa was staying on none of those things mattered, the only thing that mattered was getting to see Alexa and nothing was going to stop me. I was determined, I was focused, I was like EBR – willing to do anything to get what I wanted.
And then came the damn secretary.
[/color]I’m on a plane as a type this, heading to the WFWF show where I’ll be facing off with King Kraig’s boyfriend, EBR. I’m on a plane this close to the show because twenty four hours ago I wasn’t even going to show up.
Yes, I, Trace Demon, the man you worship, was going to miss the show and let you all suffer through a couple of hours of King Kraig and EBR bragging about me being a coward, Phillip Schneider bragging about what a bad ass he is and Yukio Blaze bragging about how he still has a job. But luckily for you all I’m going to show up and you can all brag that you got to watch the King of Demons live and in person.
But of course there’s a story behind this. You know just as well as I do that I wouldn’t flake on you for no good reason. For this story to make complete sense you need a little bit of context first. Now, to start off you all remember that I’m going to be a father right?
You don’t? Where’ve you been the past four months, sitting under a rock? Either that or your EBR and your too depressed with your own life to read about somebody’s awesome existence.
So I’m going to be a father. The mother of this demon spawn is Alexa. We’ve had a bumpy history but now we’re stronger than ever. And she’s awesome.
Just thought I’d rub that in your face a little. (I’ve got a rude joke here, but there may be kids reading)
As a professional wrestler I was once told that I’d never meet anybody who I could really be with because I’m always on the road. I’ve got it better than a few guys because I know how to balance my work schedule, but generally it’s pretty hard for a wrestler to have a long term relationship that isn’t with their own hand (You know who I’m talking about... Yukio Blaze)
But somehow I found Alexa. She was brought up on the road just like I was, bounced from place to place, from school to school. It’s not an easy life and I often get told that it’s the kind of lifestyle that breeds sociopaths but hey, I ended up alright.
Except for those few years when I was addicted to drink and drugs but the less said about that the better.
So Alexa can handle the road. In fact she loves the road so for the first time in my life I’m with a girl who is fine with me spending days away from home as I kick some ass. But of course pregnancy kind of changes things. Now she can’t travel because it’d be too much stress which means spending days on end away from the most important person in my life who just so happens to be carrying the second most important thing in my life.
It’s difficult being as great at my home life as I am in the wrestling ring, not that EBR would know anything about that.
But then came the other night. I was heading to the airport to head to Pittsburgh so I could kick some coward ass when I received a call from the hospital saying Alexa had taken a fall and that they were worried about the baby.
As you can expect, I freaked out and never got on that plane. Instead I rushed to the hospital and... Well, it’s a long story...
< *** >
I hate hospitals. The white shiny walls, the depressed doctors and nurses, each one looking exactly the same as all the rest, and the smell, oh god the smell. It’s like the smell of death trying to push its way through your nostrils and into your brain so it can destroy you from inside out.
As I said, I hate hospitals. But as soon as you receive that call, that call that says your pregnant girlfriend has had a bad fall and is in hospital you don’t think twice. You drop what your doing and you race to that hospital. You brave the walls even as they try to blind you with their sheer shininess, you brave the faceless doctors and nurses as they work to try and save people and you brave that smell of death, you fight it back and you push forward.
And why do you do it? Why do you put yourself through something like that?
You do it because you are in love and that is the strongest thing there is.
So as I rushed through the hospital to the ward I’d been told Alexa was staying on none of those things mattered, the only thing that mattered was getting to see Alexa and nothing was going to stop me. I was determined, I was focused, I was like EBR – willing to do anything to get what I wanted.
And then came the damn secretary.
Damn Secretary: I’m sorry sir but you can’t just cut the cue.
Trace Demon: What? What cue?
Damn Secretary: That one.
I turn and find one other person standing behind me. He looked weird, all timid and fragile and obviously not wanting to mention that I’d just pushed in front of him. Kinda like EBR.
Trace Demon: That’s not a cue, that’s one guy. You tell me where my girlfriend is and then you can deal with the guy who’s clearly going to wet his pants if I shout at him.
Damn Secretary: There’s a cue for a reason sir.
Trace Demon: ONE GUY IS NOT A CUE!
Damn Secretary: If you’re going to get aggressive then I’m afraid I will have to ask you to leave.
Trace Demon: You’d actually kick me out of a hospital when all I’m trying to see my pregnant girlfriend?
Damn Secretary: Try me.
I tried staring her down but as I stared into her eyes all I could see was a bottomless pit of hate and evil. Somebody so cold and emotionless that she’d push her grandmother in front of a bus in order to get to work quicker.
I wonder if she’s related to EBR?[/color]
Trace Demon: Your evil, you know that?
She simply smiles at me as I walk behind the other guy who looks so scared that I think he may actually wet himself. Thankfully he manages to hold it in and talks with that damn secretary. I wait patiently, just barely resisting the urge to throw a chair at somebody before the man walks off and I’m back to dealing with the secretary.[/color]
Damn Secretary: Name of patient?
Trace Demon: Alexa Jacobs.
Damn Secretary: Relationship to the patient?
Trace Demon: I’m her boyfriend. Also the father of her future child if that helps speed this along.
Damn Secretary: It doesn’t.
Trace Demon: No? Didn’t think so.
This goes on for several more seconds as she asks for my real name (no, Demon isn’t my actual second name, but I can’t be giving away too many secrets, can I) and a load of other questions that really just served to rile me up and put me into a state of blind rage.[/color]
Damn Secretary: Okay, if you go and take a seat and I’ll send a doctor over to talk to you once they’re out of surgery.
Wait, what?[/color]
Trace Demon: Alexa’s in surgery?
Damn Secretary: Yes, there were some worries about the unborn child and some minor surgery was required. If you just go and take a seat I’m sure somebody will be along shortly.
Trace Demon: This is crazy! And your crazy if you think I’m just going to go and take a seat without being talked to. You know something, just let me go and grab a chair and we’ll see where I decide to shove it!
Luckily I managed to convince her not to call the police and go and take a seat. Although she does give me the evil eye for the rest of the night and let me tell you, the evil eye is the last thing you want to get in a hospital. Well, behind a flesh eating disease, smallpox, monkey flu and god knows what else they’ve got here. After all of that and about a hundred other things I could list the evil eye is definitely the last thing you want to receive in a hospital.
< *** >
... but I’m waiting in the hospital, having dealt with a very angry secretary (I was the picture of reasonable and she just wasn’t having any of it), when I found out Alexa was in surgery. Some kind of possible complications from the fall. So I’m sitting there, freaking out, when the last person I want to see walks in...
< *** >
Danny Jacobs: What’s going on?
I turn to see Alexa’s brother standing over me as I’m trying not to break up and start going mental, like the last time I was in a hospital and decided to break out, stealing a stethoscope and generally causing havoc. Me and Danny don’t get on so well because of some misunderstanding where I punched him in the face or something or other.[/color]
Trace Demon: What’re you doing here?
Danny Jacobs: You rang me and told me she was in the hospital.
Trace Demon: No I didn’t.
Danny Jacobs: Yes you did.
Trace Demon: Well maybe I did but now I’m regretting it so let’s pretend I didn’t and you can go and leave.
He shakes his head in disdain and I remember why he’s so easily punched. He takes the seat opposite me and I hold the anger in like a pro.[/color]
Danny Jacobs: So what’s going on?
Trace Demon: I couldn’t tell you, that damn secretary wouldn’t tell me anything more than what you already know.
We both go silent, neither of us knowing what to say. There are moments in life when words don’t mean anything, when all they do is cheapen the extremity of what is actually going on. This is one of those moments. So we just sit there until we hear something...[/color]
Danny Jacobs: So this proves it.
I wish it was silent again.[/color]
Trace Demon: Proves what?
Danny Jacobs: That you need to quit wrestling and get a real job to support Alexa and your future child?
Wow, this guy is a massive douche. Who brings that kind of crazy stuff up at a time like this? It’s not like this is some dramatic life story or anything, it’s actually my life and I’m certain stuff like this shouldn’t happen in normal life. But I’m a man and I need to handle this with delicate hands.[/color]
Trace Demon: You’re a massive douche, you know that?
Or just say what you’re thinking, that always works out well.[/color]
Danny Jacobs: Look, you need to realise that all this travelling around and only being at home a few days a week isn’t going to be good for your child, and it sure isn’t going to be good for Alexa. And to be honest Trace, wrestling isn’t a career to bring your child up around.
Trace Demon: I’m not giving up something I love to do because you don’t think it’s appropriate. You didn’t think my relationship with Alexa was appropriate and what happened there?
Danny Jacobs: You punched me in the face...
Trace Demon: I punched you in the face. So obviously you’re not a great judge of what’s appropriate because if you were I wouldn’t have punched you in the face, would I?
Boom, put down![/color]
Danny Jacobs: Trace, you’ve been doing this for four years now, why are you still fixated on it?
Trace Demon: Because it’s what I love to do.
Danny Jacobs: Why?
Trace Demon: What?
Danny Jacobs: Why do you love it so much Trace, what is the big reason that makes it more important than getting a nice safe office job and raising your child with a woman who you love?
Trace Demon: You’ve never sounded more gay than you do right now, and that includes the time you cried at the end of the notebook.
Danny Jacobs: Just answer the question.
Trace Demon: No.
Danny Jacobs: Why not?
Trace Demon: BECAUSE I DON’T HAVE A BLOODY ANSWER, OKAY!
Aw shizzle.[/color]
Danny Jacobs: That’s what I thought.
< *** >
So me and Alexa’s brother had a bit of an argument and I’ll be honest, because I know he doesn’t read my blog, but he made me think. He made me think about whether it was worth getting back on the plane and heading to Pittsburgh when instead I could be spending the night with Alexa, safe and sound in our apartment playing happy families.
So more time passed and we heard nothing from the doctors. I was going insane from worry. And yes kids, it’s still manly to worry when it’s about a smoking hot babe.
Danny left to go and do whatever it is douche bags do in a hospital while waiting and I stayed sitting there, waiting for a brief glimmer of hope in an otherwise dreary situation. I tried taking my mind off of the situation, tried thinking of something other than Alexa, about something other than my child, about something other than that douche-bag. And of course there was only one other person on my mind.
< *** >
EBR.
In a couple of days I fight EBR and I don’t even know if I’m going to show up. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to show up and even if I can, I don’t know if I want to, or even if I should. What am I doing? Why am I even fighting EBR?
Because he’s a coward?
Or because he reminds me of me?
I used to be exactly the same as him, I used to be the megalomaniac in control of the company. I used to be one running with a bad crowd. No offence to Thunder but that dude has some major problems. Mainly with Yukio trying to bang his sister but that’s neither here nor there right now.
Also, can you imagine how ugly Yukio’s kids would be? If I was Thunder I definitely wouldn’t want that dude contaminating my gene pool.
But back on track, what differences are there really between me and EBR? Sure, I’m better looking that he is, I’ve got better luck with women, I’m a better wrestler and I’m an all around cooler guy, but other than those key facts we’re pretty similar. He’s going down a path that I’ve already had the displeasure of walking down. Power gets the better or people no matter how great they are, and EBR isn’t even that great. God, he’s going to get sucked in so fast he’s going to wake up one day in bed with King Kraig and realise he’s made a bigger mess off his life than Charlie Sheen on his worst day.
Power corrupts, it’s why I got out of there and took some time for myself. It’s why I got back with Alexa and tried living my life that little bit better. It’s why I talked s**t about E and King Kraig. I needed to become somebody I could be proud of, I needed to be somebody who people could look at and respect.
I needed to be somebody who wasn’t a scared little girl like EBR.
But is that really enough? Can I really do something just to prove something to myself? Is it really worth risking everything just so I can go out into that ring, kick EBR from turnbuckle to turnbuckle just so I can feel the adrenaline?
Is it worth being away from Alexa and our kid?
Is anything worth that?[/color]
< *** >
So I started questioning everything. I started questioning whether I had any right to be that guy and then the shame spiral began. And it wasn’t going to stop if it wasn’t for a chance encounter...
< *** >
Oh my god am I wasting my life? Am I throwing...[/color]
?: Excuse me? Are you...
I look up to find an attractive blonde women staring right at me.[/color]
?: You are, your Trace Demon, right?
Trace Demon: I’m afraid I’ve got a girlfriend, but thanks though.
She looks at me puzzled and it dawns on me that for once I’ve met a women who isn’t immediately attracted to me. This kind of feeling may be common to somebody like EBR, but it kind of throws me for a loop.[/color]
Trace Demon: That’s now what your here for, is it...
She shakes her head and holds her hand out. I shake it.[/color]
Katie: I’m Katie.
Trace Demon: Trace, s’up?
Katie: Sorry for just coming up like this, but my sons a huge fan of yours and he’d never forgive me if I didn’t get a photo.
< *** >
So we took the photo, and we got talking. I told her why I was there, explained how the world was trying to tell me how unfair it would be for me to beat up EBR when he wouldn’t stand a chance. Turns out, one ordinary person can completely change everything about the way you think.
< *** >
Trace Demon: So your son’s a fan, is he about?
Katie: He’s... he’s in surgery.
Wow, you really don’t know when not to talk, do you? You’re in a hospital, of course the kids in surgery because that’s the horrible way the world works.[/color]
Trace Demon: Is he going to be okay?
Katie: I hope so but the doctors... well, they’re optimistic.
Trace Demon: What’s his name?
Katie: James.
I nod, not knowing what to say. Wrestling doesn’t really teach you how to deal with situations like this, so I do what I can. I smile reassuringly, and I listen.[/color]
Katie: He’s a good kid but that doesn’t really matter sometimes. Bad things happen to good people. I told him that if... when he gets better I’d take him to see a WFWF show. It’s all he talks about.
And just like that, on what seems like the most inconsequential piece of information on the planet, everything clicks into place. I realise my place in this world and I understand what I have to do. I’m about to say something when a doctor comes up to me.[/color]
Doctor: Excuse me, Mr. [Insert top secret second name here], Alexa is ready to see you now.
Trace Demon: Everything’s okay?
He nods and starts leading me to her room. I stop him and turn around, knowing there was something I had to do first.[/color]
Trace Demon: Um, here. [pulls out card] This is my number. Give me a call when James is back on his feet and I’ll sort out some VIP tickets, maybe even some backstage passes.
She smiles at me and I can see her fighting back tears. She nods in thanks and walks away. Today, we’ve both helped somebody out.[/color]
< *** >
So it turned out Alexa was fine, and that Danny is a douche, and that one random throwaway conversation can truly change everything.
It turns out that I was wrong. I don’t need to wrestle for myself or for you. I don’t even need to wrestle for the pleasure of kicking EBR’s ass.
I need to wrestle for Alexa. I need to wrestle for my unborn child.
Because it turns out that I don’t live this business because of the power it gives me. I don’t love this business because of the title belts or the satisfaction a victory over your rival gives you. I don’t even love this business because of the hefty paycheck I get every week.
I love this business because it means something. Whether it’s a little kid cheering for their favourite wrestler or a middle aged women raising one of those kids, being a wrestler means something to them and if I can help out just one person then I can look at my child and tell them that my life is complete.
That’s why I got on the plane, that’s why I’m coming to Pittsburgh and that’s why I’m going to show EBR exactly what being a wrestler is really about.
And then I’m going to go home to Alexa and my unborn child.
And I’m just going to live.[/center]
