Post by Prophet of Ash on Jun 7, 2011 14:27:44 GMT -5
WFWF Something’s Gotta Give
6/7/11
2011_10: Frances Farmer (wasn’t quite so crazy)
RE: Cameron Stone
It‘s been too long since we did this. Just kicking back at Phil‘s apartment, talking. Relaxing. Since he returned to the WFWF, things have been a whirlwind. Sometimes it takes something to really open up your eyes at the fragility of life before you really stop and appreciate it. It‘s kind of funny, as we sit back here and relax in our disheveled suits, ties a jar, we finally look like the respectable business men that our parents always wanted us to be. [/b]
You know Percy, I was just 18 years old when I first stepped foot in a WFWF ring.. All the way back in 2002. As “Devon Tatum”. What a name and gimmick that was..
Wait, you wrestled in WFWF under your yarder name?
Yep. Lasted all of like two matches before I was fired for attitude problems.
You? NEVER! Blasphemy!
A few weeks later, I was reading the newspaper. I seen an advertisement for a used car. $3000, obo. For some reason, I read it as “$3000 hobo” and chuckled. Then I thought of Obo the Hobo and chuckled even more. And I realized.. I had came up with something.. How awesome would a psychopath, demonic, wrestling hobo be?
History says not too well.
Think about it Percy. Wrestling has a rich history of madmen, lunatics, monsters, freaks, and geeks. Geek being the literal meaning of the word, chicken biters, not the modern day meaning..
I got that..
But what disturbs people more than the homeless? The unwashed. The stinky. The filthy.. These rambling street skanks.. They pester you.. They torment you.. But you don’t do anything about it, because you don’t know what they have.
I get it. We were hobos. Get with the point.
Well it’s just.. Eight years can change a lot of things. Looking over the entire WFWF roster, the only people I can think that were around eight years ago were Zmaster, Alex Sean, and EBR. And I’m not even sure EBR was around. I remember when I first started, I feared Zmaster. I thought to myself “I hope I never face this guy.. He’ll kill me..” And, well.. We all know how that turned out last week..
Again, what is your point with all of this?
Because eight years of wrestling changes people, Percy. It’s changed you. It’s changed Alex. It’s changed EBR. It’s changed each and every person in that locker room. How many people have we seen completely fly off of the deep end thanks to this business? To completely lose their mind. You had your spell..
Didn’t end up well, either.
And really, let’s look around the roster right now.. There’s an escaped? mental patient. There’s a tag team consisting of a chicken nugget and a milk shake. Could you imagine if we had to face a chicken nugget and a milk shake when we were on top of the tag division?
We had bigger jokes on our hands.
Like who?
The UIA, for one.
But seriously.. This company.. This industry.. It changes people. It morphs people. It brings out the very evil in people. Look at Thunder. Thunder used to be fun. Thunder used to be happy. Thunder used to be a nice guy.. Now he’s.. well.. Him. He became the ghost that haunted my past. But he’s been vanquished. Remember how he came to be with us, Percy? How he joined Los Hobos?
Not really, no.
He turned on the UIA.
Probably the best career move.
Think about it though, Percy. What kind of psychological disorder does someone have that causes them to turn on their only friends? To double cross the only people that are close to them? To attack without reason?
I’d know nothing about such cases.
Riiiiiight..
Phil leans back in his chair and turns the volume up on the TV. It’s a commercial, so I think this was just his subtle way of ending the conversation. To silence me. Because I really don’t think he’s that interested in a syndicated episode of The Wonder Years that much. It is kind of cool that The Wonder Years is finally back on TV, though. For a show as wildly popular as it was, it hasn’t had much syndication. It ran on Nickelodeon for a little bit in the 90s, but not for very long. I think it has to do with the copyrighted music issues. Through the Wonder Years was the first time I heard “With a Little Help From My Friends“ and eventually discovered The Beatles, even if The Wonder Years did use the awesome remix from Joe Cocker.
You know, sometimes I really wonder how the WFWF has changed me. Has changed my life. Where I would be without the WFWF. Would I have met you? Would I have met Ashley? Would I have Samantha? Would I have Hailey?
Well, if you hadn’t met me, you wouldn’t have met Ashley. And if you hadn’t met Ashley, you wouldn’t have Samantha. Hailey is up in the air. I don’t know if you would’ve went to live in Germany if it wasn’t for the WFWF driving you mad.
It’s like that movie, The Butterfly Effect. If you change one thing, everything changes. Radically. I have regrets about my life, Percy. But I don’t think I’d change a thing. Because like, let’s say I never started doing deathmatches. What if that meant that Samantha was a boy? It’s such a minor change. But what if my anger and passion was passed on to him? And he became a Unabomber? Or something..
You know, I’m not completely ruling out Samantha as a potential Unabomber.. Teen angst and all..
Watch it man. You’re surfing a fine line. You know I’m already pissed off about that Steel douche talking trash about her..
And with that, we’re back to awkward silence and 80s syndicated TV.
Did you really need to attack him with a machete?
Need and want are two very different things, Percy. I’ve had to explain this to Samantha several times lately. It’s even starting to rub off on Hailey. Who throws a cup and screams “NEED JUICE!”. Who does that?
I could see you doing that, actually
And now we‘re right back to the awkward silence. Phil seems to be really deep in thought. He‘s just staring off into the distance, and not really at the TV at all. And it‘s a really blank stare.
You okay man?
Yeah Percy, I’m fine. We just came back from seeing the one guy that gave me guidance and made my life make sense laid to rest. Baldwin made me not a lunatic, Percy. It’s kind of like someone just took me, a wild animal who’s been tied up for the last few years, and cut me loose. How am I expected to really take care of my diagnosed psychological disorder when the one guy that really understood what was going on with me, is now dead?
You could always find a new psychiatrist..
I’ve been seeing Baldwin off and on for the last five years. And for the last five years, he’s heard my stories. He’s analyzed me. And he understands me. If I went to a new psychiatrist, we’d spend at least three sessions just getting up to date. My life story is kind of a lengthy and complex one with unneeded twists and turns, you know?
So what are you going to do?
I don’t know Perce. But let me ask you something. Did you observe your surroundings at the funeral? We weren’t the only patients of Dr. Baldwin there.
I wasn’t a patient of his.
Did you see the people around? Those weren’t just patients of Dr. Baldwin. They were friends. I was his friend. But now, without that friend, without that someone to talk to.. Us wayward souls are unleashed. You’ve cut loose the people like me with sadomasochistic tendencies.. You’ve cut loose the schizophrenics who were sexually abused as children and feel the need to continue the legacy.. You’ve cut loose the manic depressive and bi-polars.. There’s a whole swarm of souls with no guidance now, Percy. Not just me.
So seriously, what are you going to do? You’re talking crazy, Phil.
And that’s the problem with the world today. Those who are different, who don’t follow the track laid out for them, are deemed crazy. You think I’m crazy Percy?
That’s not what I said.
You think I’m crazy and you know what, that’s okay. Because clearly there is something in my brain that deems me unfit for society.. But unlike the child molesters and the suicidal, I have an outlet. What I have at my disposal is the equivalent of handing a pedophile a big box of child pornography. What you’ve given him is something that can subside his cravings and do so in a way that doesn’t necessarily hurt anyone, but the rest of society would condemn for indulging in. I have violence.
You’re really starting to creep me out, man.
And you know what? I’m okay with that. Because I’ve seen the light, Percy. I don’t need to get this addiction “under control”, because all along it has been under control. I have an outlet. I can go out into a wrestling ring, and under certain circumstances, do whatever I want. Last week, I nearly crippled a guy who was attempting a plancha. That felt good. But when I left the arena, I didn‘t feel like grabbing a cinder block and smashing some guy‘s head in. I was satisfied with direction Lionhart‘s head into the guardrail. This whole thing.. It‘s under control.
Denial.[/color]
Clinical depression is the worst disease you can have. When you have days when you‘re just sad. When you‘re down in the dumps for no reason, with nothing in sight to bring you out of your depressed state. When you feel like crying and mourning, yet nothing is actually the matter. When you self destruct… When you do things to yourself that you know have physical or mental consequences.. Cutting yourself, for example. You know that you don‘t want open wounds, but sometimes, cutting yourself seems like the best resolution. Or sitting around.. You destroy something you love. Smash a trophy that you worked hard for.. While you know at a later point in time, it‘s something that‘s just going to upset you further.. In the spur of the moment, sometimes it seems like a good idea.
This battle of doing things that you know aren‘t good for you mentally is one I‘m fighting in the WFWF recently. I know that mentally, I can‘t handle intense violence. I know that it does something to me, psychologically, that it shouldn‘t. It‘s like an extreme variant of post traumatic stress syndrome. While most suffers of this melt down with extreme violence, it‘s a stimulant for me. It‘s something that excites me. But when it‘s done. When it‘s gone.. The extreme high that I feel in the moment results in an extreme low for the aftermath. The peaks and the valleys. It‘s typical for clinical depression. You know that something isn‘t right, so you want to do something to change it. You want to achieve happiness at any cost. And while it may make you happy in the moment, long term, it just isn‘t logical.
At the Pay Per View, I made the decision that I wanted to hurt Johnny Knight. I wanted to hurt him badly. And I guess you could say I blacked out for most of the day, as I drew up the blueprints to my self destruction. The razor blade tables.. The fire.. The glass.. While it hurt Johnny Knight physically and potentially ended his career, it hurt me mentally. It left me in an almost comatose state in the aftermath. Because the extreme high that I enjoyed on Pay Per View, the feeling of nirvana as I bathed in the crimson river.. It resulted in a deep valley of sadness. A self loathing. Why did I just go out there and almost kill a man? Because he‘s crazy? We‘re all crazy. And for a crazy man to call someone crazy, it‘s quite the stupid statement.
This week.. I face someone with possibly the same disorder as I. Cameron Stone. He enjoys violence. But I don‘t think he understands why he enjoys violence. I don‘t think he understands what he‘s seeing. It‘s like when a kid watches South Park. He may laugh at the jokes, but he doesn‘t understand most of them. He has no idea what he‘s watching. Why these jokes are funny. Cameron, you interjected yourself into my world. This week.. We enter the barbed wire.. And I will hopefully enlighten you to my madness.
Hey Phil.. It’s Kylie.. Uhh.. I hate doing this on voicemail. I really dislike voicemail in general. My mom says it’s because I’m not strong enough to carry a conversation on my own. She was always so unnecessarily judgment and demeaning. I feel like it’s caused self esteem issues in my adult life. You’re not my consoler though, so here goes anyways;
I’m ready. For what we talked about. Seeing you out there.. Back on top.. It’s got me motivated. It’s made me ready to pull the trigger. I know it’s been a few years, but I’m ready now. I’m committed. You said “don’t start this ish if you’re not going to finish it”. I’m going to finish it. I’m ready to commit my life to this. I just need you.
I’ve got the money you said you wanted, too. I’ve got it in straight cash. I had some problems with my bank that I’d rather not get into in depth so I don’t deal with them any more and I haven’t got around to opening a new bank account. I can get you a money order if you’d really prefer that method.
I’m assuming you’re still based out of Chicago? If I have to, I’ll relocate. This is going to be my job. Relocation is not an issue, nor is packing up my belongings. Give me like, 48 hours notice, and I can have all my crap together and gone. I’m not on a lease here, so if I quit paying rent, they’ll come to see where I am. They see I’m gone and they’ll just accept that and move on. Landlord’s cool like that. Get back to me and I’ll quit my job. This is serious this time Phil. Let’s do this. My number is 773-***-5**2. Call me. Nicht stirbt mit bedauert, right?
[/color]
6/7/11
2011_10: Frances Farmer (wasn’t quite so crazy)
RE: Cameron Stone
It‘s been too long since we did this. Just kicking back at Phil‘s apartment, talking. Relaxing. Since he returned to the WFWF, things have been a whirlwind. Sometimes it takes something to really open up your eyes at the fragility of life before you really stop and appreciate it. It‘s kind of funny, as we sit back here and relax in our disheveled suits, ties a jar, we finally look like the respectable business men that our parents always wanted us to be. [/b]
You know Percy, I was just 18 years old when I first stepped foot in a WFWF ring.. All the way back in 2002. As “Devon Tatum”. What a name and gimmick that was..
Wait, you wrestled in WFWF under your yarder name?
Yep. Lasted all of like two matches before I was fired for attitude problems.
You? NEVER! Blasphemy!
A few weeks later, I was reading the newspaper. I seen an advertisement for a used car. $3000, obo. For some reason, I read it as “$3000 hobo” and chuckled. Then I thought of Obo the Hobo and chuckled even more. And I realized.. I had came up with something.. How awesome would a psychopath, demonic, wrestling hobo be?
History says not too well.
Think about it Percy. Wrestling has a rich history of madmen, lunatics, monsters, freaks, and geeks. Geek being the literal meaning of the word, chicken biters, not the modern day meaning..
I got that..
But what disturbs people more than the homeless? The unwashed. The stinky. The filthy.. These rambling street skanks.. They pester you.. They torment you.. But you don’t do anything about it, because you don’t know what they have.
I get it. We were hobos. Get with the point.
Well it’s just.. Eight years can change a lot of things. Looking over the entire WFWF roster, the only people I can think that were around eight years ago were Zmaster, Alex Sean, and EBR. And I’m not even sure EBR was around. I remember when I first started, I feared Zmaster. I thought to myself “I hope I never face this guy.. He’ll kill me..” And, well.. We all know how that turned out last week..
Again, what is your point with all of this?
Because eight years of wrestling changes people, Percy. It’s changed you. It’s changed Alex. It’s changed EBR. It’s changed each and every person in that locker room. How many people have we seen completely fly off of the deep end thanks to this business? To completely lose their mind. You had your spell..
Didn’t end up well, either.
And really, let’s look around the roster right now.. There’s an escaped? mental patient. There’s a tag team consisting of a chicken nugget and a milk shake. Could you imagine if we had to face a chicken nugget and a milk shake when we were on top of the tag division?
We had bigger jokes on our hands.
Like who?
The UIA, for one.
But seriously.. This company.. This industry.. It changes people. It morphs people. It brings out the very evil in people. Look at Thunder. Thunder used to be fun. Thunder used to be happy. Thunder used to be a nice guy.. Now he’s.. well.. Him. He became the ghost that haunted my past. But he’s been vanquished. Remember how he came to be with us, Percy? How he joined Los Hobos?
Not really, no.
He turned on the UIA.
Probably the best career move.
Think about it though, Percy. What kind of psychological disorder does someone have that causes them to turn on their only friends? To double cross the only people that are close to them? To attack without reason?
I’d know nothing about such cases.
Riiiiiight..
Phil leans back in his chair and turns the volume up on the TV. It’s a commercial, so I think this was just his subtle way of ending the conversation. To silence me. Because I really don’t think he’s that interested in a syndicated episode of The Wonder Years that much. It is kind of cool that The Wonder Years is finally back on TV, though. For a show as wildly popular as it was, it hasn’t had much syndication. It ran on Nickelodeon for a little bit in the 90s, but not for very long. I think it has to do with the copyrighted music issues. Through the Wonder Years was the first time I heard “With a Little Help From My Friends“ and eventually discovered The Beatles, even if The Wonder Years did use the awesome remix from Joe Cocker.
You know, sometimes I really wonder how the WFWF has changed me. Has changed my life. Where I would be without the WFWF. Would I have met you? Would I have met Ashley? Would I have Samantha? Would I have Hailey?
Well, if you hadn’t met me, you wouldn’t have met Ashley. And if you hadn’t met Ashley, you wouldn’t have Samantha. Hailey is up in the air. I don’t know if you would’ve went to live in Germany if it wasn’t for the WFWF driving you mad.
It’s like that movie, The Butterfly Effect. If you change one thing, everything changes. Radically. I have regrets about my life, Percy. But I don’t think I’d change a thing. Because like, let’s say I never started doing deathmatches. What if that meant that Samantha was a boy? It’s such a minor change. But what if my anger and passion was passed on to him? And he became a Unabomber? Or something..
You know, I’m not completely ruling out Samantha as a potential Unabomber.. Teen angst and all..
Watch it man. You’re surfing a fine line. You know I’m already pissed off about that Steel douche talking trash about her..
And with that, we’re back to awkward silence and 80s syndicated TV.
Did you really need to attack him with a machete?
Need and want are two very different things, Percy. I’ve had to explain this to Samantha several times lately. It’s even starting to rub off on Hailey. Who throws a cup and screams “NEED JUICE!”. Who does that?
I could see you doing that, actually
And now we‘re right back to the awkward silence. Phil seems to be really deep in thought. He‘s just staring off into the distance, and not really at the TV at all. And it‘s a really blank stare.
You okay man?
Yeah Percy, I’m fine. We just came back from seeing the one guy that gave me guidance and made my life make sense laid to rest. Baldwin made me not a lunatic, Percy. It’s kind of like someone just took me, a wild animal who’s been tied up for the last few years, and cut me loose. How am I expected to really take care of my diagnosed psychological disorder when the one guy that really understood what was going on with me, is now dead?
You could always find a new psychiatrist..
I’ve been seeing Baldwin off and on for the last five years. And for the last five years, he’s heard my stories. He’s analyzed me. And he understands me. If I went to a new psychiatrist, we’d spend at least three sessions just getting up to date. My life story is kind of a lengthy and complex one with unneeded twists and turns, you know?
So what are you going to do?
I don’t know Perce. But let me ask you something. Did you observe your surroundings at the funeral? We weren’t the only patients of Dr. Baldwin there.
I wasn’t a patient of his.
Did you see the people around? Those weren’t just patients of Dr. Baldwin. They were friends. I was his friend. But now, without that friend, without that someone to talk to.. Us wayward souls are unleashed. You’ve cut loose the people like me with sadomasochistic tendencies.. You’ve cut loose the schizophrenics who were sexually abused as children and feel the need to continue the legacy.. You’ve cut loose the manic depressive and bi-polars.. There’s a whole swarm of souls with no guidance now, Percy. Not just me.
So seriously, what are you going to do? You’re talking crazy, Phil.
And that’s the problem with the world today. Those who are different, who don’t follow the track laid out for them, are deemed crazy. You think I’m crazy Percy?
That’s not what I said.
You think I’m crazy and you know what, that’s okay. Because clearly there is something in my brain that deems me unfit for society.. But unlike the child molesters and the suicidal, I have an outlet. What I have at my disposal is the equivalent of handing a pedophile a big box of child pornography. What you’ve given him is something that can subside his cravings and do so in a way that doesn’t necessarily hurt anyone, but the rest of society would condemn for indulging in. I have violence.
You’re really starting to creep me out, man.
And you know what? I’m okay with that. Because I’ve seen the light, Percy. I don’t need to get this addiction “under control”, because all along it has been under control. I have an outlet. I can go out into a wrestling ring, and under certain circumstances, do whatever I want. Last week, I nearly crippled a guy who was attempting a plancha. That felt good. But when I left the arena, I didn‘t feel like grabbing a cinder block and smashing some guy‘s head in. I was satisfied with direction Lionhart‘s head into the guardrail. This whole thing.. It‘s under control.
Denial.[/color]
_____________________
Clinical depression is the worst disease you can have. When you have days when you‘re just sad. When you‘re down in the dumps for no reason, with nothing in sight to bring you out of your depressed state. When you feel like crying and mourning, yet nothing is actually the matter. When you self destruct… When you do things to yourself that you know have physical or mental consequences.. Cutting yourself, for example. You know that you don‘t want open wounds, but sometimes, cutting yourself seems like the best resolution. Or sitting around.. You destroy something you love. Smash a trophy that you worked hard for.. While you know at a later point in time, it‘s something that‘s just going to upset you further.. In the spur of the moment, sometimes it seems like a good idea.
This battle of doing things that you know aren‘t good for you mentally is one I‘m fighting in the WFWF recently. I know that mentally, I can‘t handle intense violence. I know that it does something to me, psychologically, that it shouldn‘t. It‘s like an extreme variant of post traumatic stress syndrome. While most suffers of this melt down with extreme violence, it‘s a stimulant for me. It‘s something that excites me. But when it‘s done. When it‘s gone.. The extreme high that I feel in the moment results in an extreme low for the aftermath. The peaks and the valleys. It‘s typical for clinical depression. You know that something isn‘t right, so you want to do something to change it. You want to achieve happiness at any cost. And while it may make you happy in the moment, long term, it just isn‘t logical.
At the Pay Per View, I made the decision that I wanted to hurt Johnny Knight. I wanted to hurt him badly. And I guess you could say I blacked out for most of the day, as I drew up the blueprints to my self destruction. The razor blade tables.. The fire.. The glass.. While it hurt Johnny Knight physically and potentially ended his career, it hurt me mentally. It left me in an almost comatose state in the aftermath. Because the extreme high that I enjoyed on Pay Per View, the feeling of nirvana as I bathed in the crimson river.. It resulted in a deep valley of sadness. A self loathing. Why did I just go out there and almost kill a man? Because he‘s crazy? We‘re all crazy. And for a crazy man to call someone crazy, it‘s quite the stupid statement.
This week.. I face someone with possibly the same disorder as I. Cameron Stone. He enjoys violence. But I don‘t think he understands why he enjoys violence. I don‘t think he understands what he‘s seeing. It‘s like when a kid watches South Park. He may laugh at the jokes, but he doesn‘t understand most of them. He has no idea what he‘s watching. Why these jokes are funny. Cameron, you interjected yourself into my world. This week.. We enter the barbed wire.. And I will hopefully enlighten you to my madness.
_____________________
Hey Phil.. It’s Kylie.. Uhh.. I hate doing this on voicemail. I really dislike voicemail in general. My mom says it’s because I’m not strong enough to carry a conversation on my own. She was always so unnecessarily judgment and demeaning. I feel like it’s caused self esteem issues in my adult life. You’re not my consoler though, so here goes anyways;
I’m ready. For what we talked about. Seeing you out there.. Back on top.. It’s got me motivated. It’s made me ready to pull the trigger. I know it’s been a few years, but I’m ready now. I’m committed. You said “don’t start this ish if you’re not going to finish it”. I’m going to finish it. I’m ready to commit my life to this. I just need you.
I’ve got the money you said you wanted, too. I’ve got it in straight cash. I had some problems with my bank that I’d rather not get into in depth so I don’t deal with them any more and I haven’t got around to opening a new bank account. I can get you a money order if you’d really prefer that method.
I’m assuming you’re still based out of Chicago? If I have to, I’ll relocate. This is going to be my job. Relocation is not an issue, nor is packing up my belongings. Give me like, 48 hours notice, and I can have all my crap together and gone. I’m not on a lease here, so if I quit paying rent, they’ll come to see where I am. They see I’m gone and they’ll just accept that and move on. Landlord’s cool like that. Get back to me and I’ll quit my job. This is serious this time Phil. Let’s do this. My number is 773-***-5**2. Call me. Nicht stirbt mit bedauert, right?
[/color]
