The lights dim.
[/color]
Can we get much higher
So high oh oh ohh oh oh ohhhh oh
Ohh can we get much higher
So high oh oh ohh oh oh ohhh oh ...Eventually, the beat to “Dark Fantasy” picks up and the familiar voice of Kanye West bellows throughout the arena. EBR emerges from the back, a chorus of boos following.[/color]
Keri Thames:[/color] Ladies and gentlemen ... the Heavyweight Champion of the WFWF ... E-B-R!
Matthew Werner:[/color] We heard from EBR on our last show, vowing to call Alex Sean out, and it certainly appears he’s a man of his word.
Matt Steel:[/color] He’s an honourable man in many capacities.
Matthew Werner:[/color] I see we’re excusing the failed drug test.
Matt Steel:[/color] I walked right into that one. I’ve got to watch out for you.
Taking a quick pause on the stage, EBR looks around nonchalantly before he begins to descend the ramp and head towards the ring, holding the strap of the Heavyweight Title and dragging it along the ground behind him.[/color]
Matthew Werner:[/color] Of course I suppose it is good that he’s joining us here tonight, you know, considering it’s a Pay-Per-View and he’s the Heavyweight Champion and isn’t even defending it.
Matt Steel:[/color] So for two shows you complain that EBR is too violent, now you complain he’s not wrestling? Make up your mind, woman.
Climbing the steel steps EBR enters through the second and third rope, soon requesting a microphone which he is given. With the lighting returning and “Dark Fantasy” beginning to fade out EBR brings the microphone up to his mouth, cut off before he starts with a round of boos. EBR waits for them to die down.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] That is certainly your right as American citizens.
Matt Steel:[/color] That’s true. It is a great country.
Matthew Werner:[/color] Quiet down ...
EBR paces around the ring, waiting a few moments before he again attempts to speak.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] You know, I had a very specific and straight forward plan. I would walk out here, stand in this ring, call Alex Sean a bitch, then tell him to man up and come out here. Then Alex Sean would come out because of some sense of pride and we’d be right on schedule to when I get to Ivan Drago him. But ‘ya know ... I gave the man too much credit and as I found out when I arrived here tonight ... Sean again ain’t here.
The crowd boos. They want to see EBR smacked.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] It’s interesting, because this man who engaged in a war with King Kraig is now doing the same thing that initiated that beef in the first place. Homie’s holding the WFWF hostage again. I can’t very well defend this Heavyweight Title when Alex Sean is the rightful number one contender ... hence why now we have this show which is headlined by two guys Sean and I beat in consecutive shows ... no offense or anything. If I
were to defend it then I’m sure some months later down the road I’d probably get bored, retire,
then Alex Sean would come out and press legal action on this company for bypassing him for the title and then attempt to win it back, possibly in a strategy created out of his fear of me. But again, he’s so dead scurred that he won’t show up for as long as I’m here. So naturally, we’re stuck in a perpetual circle fuelled by Alex Sean and his bitch moves, all of which prevents this Heavyweight title from ever being defended, and most importantly, prevents EBR vs. Alex Sean from ever happening.
Matt Steel:[/color] That sounds like some cold hard science right there.
EBR:[/COLOR] I can assure you, I’m just as disappointed as all of you. In fact, through connections I was even able to get a hold of Alex’s phone number in an attempt to remind him to ... you know, show up because he does have tendency of ... well, not doing it. Predictably and unfortunately he just let it go to voicemail. Though I did record it. Take a listen.
Audio begins to play throughout the arena.[/color]
Hey, Alex ... this is E ... so yeah, still want to face you and stuff ... I dunno if you saw the last show, probably not ... it was kinda mediocre.Shrugging, EBR mouths the words “it was”.[/color]
But yeah I planned to call you out at the next one ... don’t really remember the name specifically, just that it was very similar to a Philip Seymour Hoffman movie.EBR mouths “it is”.[/color]
So ... if you could just like, show up and stuff that’d be great ... really hoping you eventually show up ... you can return my call or leave me a message if you want but I’d rather you just showed up ... seems like it’d be easier for everyone, you know? ...There’s a prolonged pause.[/color]
... I’m going to murder you.Another pause.[/color]
See you then, peace.We cut back to EBR.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] It fell on deaf ears. Now, for someone who claimed they wanted the “killer” EBR, I’m not entirely sure why he’s ducking me like he is ... so I’ve decided to ask the only person in this world who I know is more familiar with Alex Sean then I am, all in attempt to get to understand the real Alex Sean. You know, so I can figure out how his mind works, all in the hopes that if I can think like Alex Sean I can think of a way to get to face me. So please, allow me to introduce Alex Sean’s ex-wife, Rebecca Marie.
Matthew Werner:[/color] Wait, what?
Matt Steel:[/color] Oh snap, this went all sleazy talk show on us.
Rebecca Marie begins to walk out from the back, the absence of music just increasing the awkwardness of the situation.[/color]
Matthew Werner:[/color] So EBR planned this from the beginning? Really? Brought Alex Sean’s ex-wife to the show?
Matt Steel:[/color] EBR has to try and flush Alex Sean out somehow. He came prepared; he should at least get kudos for that. The Boy Scouts of America are probably very impressed.
Reaching the ring and climbing up the steps she enters through the bottom and second rope. EBR hands her his microphone, in turn requesting another one from Keri Thames which he soon gets.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Thank you for joining us here tonight.
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Sure.
EBR:[/COLOR] You’ve known Alex for many years. How long has he been this big of a bitch?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Well that’s hard to really pinpoint.
EBR:[/COLOR] Would you say it’s possible he’s always been a bitch?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] It’s certainly a possibility, in fact may be likely. But it really came to the fore front a few years ago.
EBR:[/COLOR] Was that before or after he became addicted to heroin?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Bit before.
EBR:[/COLOR] Cool, though let the record show that the same man who tried to leak a “failed” drug test of mine was a dope fiend. Alex Sean; hypocrite. But please, continue.
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Though looking back, it probably started even before that. He was always very distant, very expressionless. He would never really open up about anything. Eventually it got the point I had enough and didn’t even want to be around him anymore. I stopped loving him long before that, and that was really when I decided to just kick him out. Not like I ever saw him much anyways. He would spend much of his time huddled up in the laundry room, doing or thinking about God knows what. I have my theories though.
EBR:[/COLOR] Do tell.
Rebecca Marie:[/color] I’ve seen Brokeback Mountain, and it always reminded me of my situation. He would constantly go on trips with men he worked with, sometimes in the remote and deserted locations. Often away from society.
EBR:[/COLOR] Rebecca, are you telling me that Alex Sean is a
homosexual?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] I think it’s very likely, yes.
EBR:[/COLOR] Do you think that his failure to show up is in connection with his refusal to be true to himself? Does Alex Sean loathe himself?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Maybe. Or my theory? He’s just sick of overcompensating.
EBR:[/COLOR] Hrm?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Yes ... Alex has a small penis.
Matthew Werner:[/color] Oh for God’s sakes ...
Matt Steel:[/color] These are some chilling secrets.
EBR:[/COLOR] I see. Do you think it’s ever possible he can get past his apparent uh ... inefficiencies as a man?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] No, it just isn’t satisfying.
EBR:[/COLOR] I was mostly referring to him coming back and facing me.
Rebecca Marie:[/color] Mostly?
EBR:[/COLOR] Largely.
Rebecca Marie:[/color] I wouldn’t use a variation of the word large with Alex.
EBR:[/COLOR] Fair enough, though I don’t think we need to dwell on Alex’s inadequacy. I mean sure, it’s funny, but his diminutive penis doesn’t really cut to the core of my problem with him ... which is you know, just me facing him in a match. You’ve known him for years, through his ups and apparently many embarrassing downs. Is Alex Sean capable one day finding the necessary courage?
Rebecca Marie:[/color] No idea. Well if you just want to show up, get him to court so he has to fight for half his stuff.
EBR:[/COLOR] You’re cold blooded, ‘Becca.
EBR smirks, turning to the camera.[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] You’re a hard man to read, Alex. Apparently even harder to find. But c’mon, the “Greatest of all Time” wouldn’t dodge me. If you want to find me you’ll know where I’ll be. Your move, bro.
He gently drops the mic as “Dark Fantasy” begins to play, both EBR and Rebecca Marie exiting the ring.[/color]
Matthew Werner:[/color] This just continues to get more and more pathetic.
Matt Steel:[/color] Yeah that was rough ... just for Alex Sean though, so yeah, I’m good.
Matthew Werner:[/color] He cripples his cousin, brings out his ex-wife just to humiliate him, what happens next week? EBR sleeps with Alex Sean’s mother?
Matt Steel:[/color] Nah this is the Pay-Per-View so this would have been the week for that, logically.
Matt Steel: And now, for the main event.
Matthew Werner: For what seemed like forever, Shawn Malakai and Thunder were thick as thieves. But, when Malakai was offered a title shot in exchange for taking out Thunder, Malakai pounced on the opportunity and came away victorious. Now, it's Thunders turn for retribution. Here we go.
Shawn Malakai, with Yukio Blaze at ringside, fought this match with an air of cockiness about him, something that's never been seen from him before. Naturally he took over at the start of the match, using his massive frame and size advantage over Thunder, well, to his advantage. For a while, Thunder was being tossed around like a rag doll, Malakai completely in his head. But the ever resilliant Thunder bolted back. He was never going to out strengthen Malakai, so he used hit and run tactics. He delivered blows to Malakai's thighs, legs, ribs...any open spot. After not being able to pin him, Thunder chop blocked Malakai's known-soft right knee. Yukio Blaze got up onto the apron to complain to the ref. Thunder slid out of the ring and grabbed Malakai's walking staff. He rolled back in and cracked him in the side of the head, dropping the big min, limp. By now, Yukio was freaking out. Before the ref turned back, Thunder had dumped the staff under the bottom rope. He pinned Malakai for the three count in the match of the night.Keri Thames: Here is your winner and the NEW WFWF International Champion, Thunder!
Thunder ducks out of the ring, grabs his title and makes a b-line for the crowd before Yukio Blaze could get his hands on him.Matthew Werner: HIGHWAY ROBERY!
Matt Steel: Thunder damn stole Malakai's title.
Matthew Werner: One could say that this was well deserved though. Turnabout, you know?
Matt Steel: Thunder's got a knack for stealing championships, so at this point, nothing surprises me.
Matthew Werner: Thunder had better hope that hit to the head made Malakai a nicer person, otherwise he's in for hell next week. But for now, goodnight from Hell, Michigan. See ya everyone.
Fade to black.In Memory:Jon O'Deeves
Chris Avalon
AJ King
Lincoln Dina
Tim Phoenix
Captain Morgan
Jobber Jim
The HunterNo showing. The silent killer.[/center]
ing giant piled up disaster.
