Post by Mr. PerpetuaLynch Motion on Jan 30, 2013 18:22:28 GMT -5
That week was successful right? I’m cured of my insanity right?... right?
Well let’s call it successful-ish. You’re still crazy and you’re still talking to yourself but at this point at least you're talking to yourself about more positive subject material.
But you told me if I started winning matches that this arguing with the voice inside my head thing would kinda just phase out and I’d be back to normal.
Justin, at this point in your life it’s time to accept that you just aren’t normal.
Well I know I’m an outstanding athlete, devilishly good-looking, a tremendous talker and wonderful chef but…
I’m referring to the fact that you are bat sh*t crazy. You are not a normal person you have just done very well at hiding the fact that you’re mentally unstable by your obscene amount of wealth.
I knew I was forgetting about something, I am so incredibly wealthy.
And yet you have no house to show for it.
Don’t even get me started on that, we both know who’s responsible for THAT little mishap.
It’s the guy that actually lit the fire right? It’s his fault?
… Nuh-uh.
If you say so. Besides I said winning matches, plural. You've won one since coming back. Hardly a streak
And you happen to know very well that I do, in fact, say so. And you don't know, this could be the start of a huge 174 match winning streak.
I can see this conversation is going downhill very fast.
I know but it’s serving it’s purpose of drawing things out before having to talk about my next wrestling match.
Stalling for time as it were?
I was thinking more along the lines of Staal’ing for Tyme.
Excellent hockey reference.
Ah well you know… I try. That’s what they pay me for.
In any event, you DO have a match at the next Revolution and it’s kind of a strange one.
It’s a tag match isn’t it?
It’s a tag ma-wait, you actually read one of the memos they sent you?
Ahhh see you don’t know everything brain! I one upped you, outsmarted you if you will.
I’m actually legitimately shocked since you never put any kind of effort into work ever. I mean you fell into your wealth accidentally, you’ve had a pretty lousy wrestling career, you’re a terribly unpracticed musician…
Meh, I’m trying to turn over a new leaf by doing this whole “attempting to work hard thing”… I think it might actually be working.
Well don’t try too hard, it might end up being the death of me.
Note to self… think harder, kill brain.
duly noted… wait, what?
Anyways, before this little conversation gets anymore out of hand what is the game plan for this week almighty brain o’ mine?
Why don’t you just think of one yourself?
That’s what I’m trying to do here, you’re being horribly uncooperative though and I dislike it.
That’s just how you are, deal with it.
Just give me my scouting report here please.
*grumble grumble* Fine, but I don’t like it I’ll have you know.
Don’t like it, learn to love it. Why? Because I’m positively Justin Tyme
Gee that almost sounds like a catchphrase or something
It is… Psst *whispers*I stole it from someone.
Psst *whispers*Why are you whispering to yourself?
Because I don’t want other people to think I’m some sort of crazy thief or something.
People are starting to know at least Fifty percent of that description.
SCOUTING REPORT!
Right, umm… Kay so you’re in a tag team match teaming with the man you beat last week on Revolution.
Well that’s awkward.
For you perhaps, try harder to lose next time.
Roger that.
Alright and your opponents are going to be Shawn Malakai and a returning Thunder. These guys are also WTTPWHE…
Explain that acronym to me please.
Wacky Tag Team Partners Who Hate Eachother.
Ahh I see so it’s Crazy teaming up with Crazy to face Crazy and Sane?
Who’s the sane one in that equation? Thunder?
No, it’s me!
Not by a long shot.
I’m beginning to strongly dislike you.
Believe me, if I could find another body to host me I would. But for now I’ll just put up with you. Alright, so you’re angry at the world and frustrated at the prospect of teaming up with a guy you beat last week. Aaaaaaaaand Action!
I’m not frustrated, I said last week I kind of like Tommy Staxx and can relate to him somewhat.
Ok when the director says “action” you do action. You listen to what I say or you lose and you continue rocking in the corner talking to yourself.
I’m still upset that you lied to me about that last week by the way.
ACTION!
*Suddenly that foggy haze lifts from me once again and I can see things much clearer now. I appear to be inside of some sort of greenhouse. I liked it better when my brain didn’t have control over me and I would do these things in limos or clubs and stuff. How am I going to use this environment to relate to my opponents? I suppose I could light sh*t on fire again, that proves a nice point… doesn’t do much to shake off that whole “you’re crazy” stigma I’ve been labeled with lately though. Maybe I can find a poisonous plant that I can rub on the kickpad of my boot so when I kick them they also get a really bad rash that would inconvenience them. Irregardless this is a dumb location for a wrestler to be. It’s hot as hell in here despite the fact it being winter. It’s like all the heat is being trapped inside That’s a bingo… Wait… heat trapped inside. Nope… thought I was on to something there. C’mon brain, help me out here, why am I at a greenhouse? Honestly it’s because you’ve been pissing me off lately Alright I guess I’m just going to have to go with this. There are about a dozen rows of various plants, each row stretching farther than I can really see due to some of the plants overgrowing and obscuring my sight of either end of the greenhouse. Sun beating down making this place nice and toasty for a winters day.
So today is a day to celebrate. Your Main Event Messiah has finally managed his first win since returning to the WFWF! And what better way to celebrate than coming to a botanical wonderland such as this? When you see Justin Tyme you naturally think of the color green. Now granted most of you think of it in the money sense but… I love plants, I guess? I’m going to celebrate by buying myself the most badass, most expensive plant I can find. And I’m going to use it to help me win so many wrestling matches.
*This just isn’t working, I can’t believe you’d ruin me like this. How the hell am I supposed to relate this setting to wrestling? Y’know Justin, you do not have to tie where you are into why you’re fighting every single time. Last week you weren’t really anywhere of note and managed to think of something to say about your opponent. Try really really hard and something will come to you. I suppose I've got a point. As I look around I see other people in this greenhouse simply staring at me. I’m not much of a fan of people staring as it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable however for now I’m willing to overlook that as I must focus. I really would like to find a useful plant though, that’d make this not such a wasted trip. I never realized how many different colors that plants and flowers came in. So many different shades of red, green and yellow you could almost make a pretty bitchin rainbow just out of all these shades. I set my sights on a particular plant that is a very scarlet shade of red that attracts me greatly. Reading a label taped to the wood box it sits in I get a description. Apparently it’s Poison Ivy, it’s leaves turn from green to red in the fall months which is why this ivy plant is red.
Lately I had been thinking about how the mist is a move that the bad guys need to use more in wrestling. It looks really cool for the crowd to see but if you use it on the right individual they will hate you forever. You instantly become a scumbag in their eyes for being such a prick resorting to spitting foreign substances in the eyes of their heroes. But I’m most decidedly not a good guy, I am a very bad man. I have been a bad man since day one when I stepped into the WFWF but for some reason along the way I managed to appeal myself to some fans of the WFWF to the point where they almost wanted to get behind my plight. I don’t need people on my side I can assure you of that. So when I sprayed that scarlet mist into the eyes of Shawn Malakai it wasn’t just to prove a point to Malakai that I am an unpredictable and grossly underhanded individual but to also prove to the fans of the WFWF that Justin Tyme is not a nice man inside the ring or outside of the ring. I was more than willing to take a man’s eyesight at the drop of a hat. I saw the chance and I took it. The reason I attempted to blind Mr. Malakai isn't because I dislike the man and wanted badly to take his eyesight but it was more of a message to the entire world of just what you are dealing with from now on when it comes to Justin Tyme. Malakai now knows that I am not afraid to use underhanded tactics to attain what it is that I want, to reach my Endgame as it were. Now fortunately for all of you people out there I was unsuccessful in taking Mr. Malakai’s eyesight however the one thing I was successful in was proving a point to Mr. Cameron Stone. You see after the beating I handed Mr. Stone he has decided to take this week off for what he claims to be “much needed recuperation” but it’s something that I prefer to describe as a very reasonable feeling of fear. I’ve rented space inside your brain Mr. Stone and rest assured I will continue to make you fear me next time you show your face at a WFWF show.
*I’ve decided I spent enough time in this greenhouse. A nearby patron who hasn’t stopped staring at me now seems a little frightened by me. I can’t say I blame the man though, he has every right to be scared. Studying the man a little more carefully I notice he’s actually wearing a WFWF t-shirt. This man is scared of me because he knows who I am. This man recognizes me as a bad man and should know what I’m capable of doing. However I’m in a public forum and I should act accordingly less I want to be arrested. Looking around to see if there are any other people in the immediate vicinity and seeing no one else, I address the man standing before me.
So you’re a wrestling fan?
*The man just shakes his head in agreeance
Then you know not to trifle with me. I’m going to ask you a question and you’re going to give me the answer I want to hear. Is this understood?
*The man, very frightened, gives no sign of understanding and just looks at me petrified. Reaching into the pocket of my coat I pull out my little red mist capsule. I am going to make an example to this man and the world that Justin Tyme asks the questions and when Justin Tyme asks the questions, you give him the answer.*
I am simply searching for the exit to this building for you see I find it much too warm in here for me to handle. I prefer the cold of winter. However I cannot seem to locate said exit due to all of this overgrowth. Could you point me to the exit? Is it at either end? Or is it along one of those two walls?
*The man looks to the left, breaking his eye contact with me long enough for me to put the red mist capsule in my mouth and break it. I feel the powder mix with my saliva now don’t swallow it this time. The man now looks to the left, clearly trying to remember which way he came in. When he looks back at me I spray him directly in the eyes with the mist and promptly put my hand over his mouth to muffle the screams.*
It’s a four sided structure sir, it shouldn’t have taken you that long to answer such a simple question. Now you see because you are a wrestling fan I know you know who I am which is why I picked you to prove this point. People won’t believe that I’m actually a very bad man, people don’t tend to take me at my word. However when you temporarily blind an innocent bystander then the message gets delivered loud and clear. I will now remove my hand from your mouth so long as you promise to stop your whining
*The man, writhing in pain, shakes his head emphatically as I remove my hand from over his mouth. The screams and cries have subsided to mainly a whimper, this man took that like a champ. I can’t just leave him like that so reaching into my pocket I pull out a white handkerchief and hand it to the man.*
Consider this to be a learning experience young man and you have impressed me with how you handled this entire ordeal. Consider this handkerchief from yours truly to be a trophy of how you survived this encounter. I will return to you with some assistance in helping you out of this place. Now you have a reason to not know where the exit is simply because you can not see.
*I did just lie to this man about the whole “finding him some assistance” thing. I’m sure he can figure this whole thing out. And if he can’t well then we can chalk the whole thing up to “wrong place, wrong time”. I guess there are things to do at a greenhouse after all. I should come here more often. Now to find that exit…*
You see I think everyone has forgotten what Justin Tyme is capable of. It’s almost a travesty really. I’ve been regarded as the jester of the WFWF before and before that I was on the border of jobber and lowly midcarder. I assure you all that Justin Tyme is neither of those things. I may be a very funny individual but I am telling you right now that I am also an incredibly dangerous individual. Thunder should know what I am capable as a competitor, I was attaining my greatest amount of success around the time Thunder was also on his shooting star ascent to the top of the WFWF. I’m a fan of Thunder, I always have been. No one was more happy to see Thunder back here than I was simply because I don’t think I had enough chances way back when to tangle with a competitor the caliber of Thunder. I relish at this opportunity now that a Hall of Famer like Thunder has someone like me on his radar. The only question I have now is “what took so long?” I feel ever so slighted by the fact that Thunder has always viewed me as someone not in his league. I assure you sir that I am very much in charge of the league you play in. I am top of the pops here in the WFWF, the Main Event Messiah will once again prove that it’s not just a catchphrase for me, I am what I say I am. I’m the best that this business has. I’m not at the top of the mountain, I am the god damn mountain. Thunder, I am so glad you are back in the WFWF because it gives me a chance to show you what you’ve been missing out on. I am no jester, I am no jobber. I am elite, I may not have the most victories but I will have a Hall of Fame ring just like the one that you have.
*Huzzah! I’ve found the exit of this godforsaken sweat box Congrats, you’ve found the exit to a rectangular building with one floor and one door.Pushing open the door, the cool winters air now embraces me. Much better I say. I don’t see my limo anywhere though. I thought we agreed I’m not allowed to drive until I’m sane again? Where’s my ride then? You’re forgetting about something, you talk about him and when you’re done your chariot will be here. Oh yes how forgetful of me. As I take a seat on a park bench just outside of the greenhouse, thoughts of my tag team partner flood my mind. Noooo, I’m drowning.*
And then there is that tag team partner that I have. Tommy Staxx, the man that I earned my first ‘W’ against since my return to the WFWF. Now I told you last week Tommy that you seem like the kind of fellow that I can really get to know and work well with. However you genuinely don’t seem to like me and that’s perfectly alright, I understand that. After all I pride myself on being incredibly unlikeable. But you see Tommy now we have to work together if we want to get you that first ‘W’ in the WFWF. I said last week that you’re fighting in Justin Tyme’s War and I meant it. However I don’t want you to be one of the casualties of this war Tommy, I’d like to make you my Four-Star General. I want you to help spearhead this war. I want to work right at your side and I want to be there when you get that big first win of your career. I want to be part of that moment. This way when it’s years down the line and Justin Tyme is in his nursing home eating applesauce and reminiscing about the good ol’ days I can point at Tommy Staxx, the biggest WFWF superstar of the 2010’s and say I am the man that helped set him on the winning course. You may not want to listen to me now because my first win since my return came at the expense of extending your losing streak for another week but I want you to trust me on this one. Take my hand Tommy and I will lead you down the yellow brick road of success. There’s a wonderful place at the end of that road where money rains from the sky and chocolate cake is all you can eat. Trust me Tommy, you want to go to that place and I’ll be your chariot.
*And seemingly on cue, my personal chariot rolls up. Getting into the back of my limo, I lay down and close my eyes. I feel that fog wash over me again as my brain prepares to nitpick everything I just said.
What smart ass thing do you have to say this week? If you rip on Justin Tyme’s War again I swear I’ll scream.
Actually I dig that little analogy now. It’s growing on me. The whole Four-Star General thing was awesome.
You’re never this complimentary on anything I say… where are you going with this?
All you can eat chocolate cake? Really? Where did you get chocolate cake from?
I’m really hungry and could go for some chocolate cake right about now.
Don’t think with your stomach, think with your brain.
But you never f*cking help me!
That’s beside the point. Now rest up, I’ll awake you when we arrive at the bakery. We’ll pick up some of your precious chocolate cake.
*It’s quite easy for me to drift to sleep after my brain shuts off and within moments I’m out like a light*
OOC: Like I said, it's pretty bad BUT I managed to clear my head long enough to come up with something. Counts for something.
Well let’s call it successful-ish. You’re still crazy and you’re still talking to yourself but at this point at least you're talking to yourself about more positive subject material.
But you told me if I started winning matches that this arguing with the voice inside my head thing would kinda just phase out and I’d be back to normal.
Justin, at this point in your life it’s time to accept that you just aren’t normal.
Well I know I’m an outstanding athlete, devilishly good-looking, a tremendous talker and wonderful chef but…
I’m referring to the fact that you are bat sh*t crazy. You are not a normal person you have just done very well at hiding the fact that you’re mentally unstable by your obscene amount of wealth.
I knew I was forgetting about something, I am so incredibly wealthy.
And yet you have no house to show for it.
Don’t even get me started on that, we both know who’s responsible for THAT little mishap.
It’s the guy that actually lit the fire right? It’s his fault?
… Nuh-uh.
If you say so. Besides I said winning matches, plural. You've won one since coming back. Hardly a streak
And you happen to know very well that I do, in fact, say so. And you don't know, this could be the start of a huge 174 match winning streak.
I can see this conversation is going downhill very fast.
I know but it’s serving it’s purpose of drawing things out before having to talk about my next wrestling match.
Stalling for time as it were?
I was thinking more along the lines of Staal’ing for Tyme.
Excellent hockey reference.
Ah well you know… I try. That’s what they pay me for.
In any event, you DO have a match at the next Revolution and it’s kind of a strange one.
It’s a tag match isn’t it?
It’s a tag ma-wait, you actually read one of the memos they sent you?
Ahhh see you don’t know everything brain! I one upped you, outsmarted you if you will.
I’m actually legitimately shocked since you never put any kind of effort into work ever. I mean you fell into your wealth accidentally, you’ve had a pretty lousy wrestling career, you’re a terribly unpracticed musician…
Meh, I’m trying to turn over a new leaf by doing this whole “attempting to work hard thing”… I think it might actually be working.
Well don’t try too hard, it might end up being the death of me.
Note to self… think harder, kill brain.
duly noted… wait, what?
Anyways, before this little conversation gets anymore out of hand what is the game plan for this week almighty brain o’ mine?
Why don’t you just think of one yourself?
That’s what I’m trying to do here, you’re being horribly uncooperative though and I dislike it.
That’s just how you are, deal with it.
Just give me my scouting report here please.
*grumble grumble* Fine, but I don’t like it I’ll have you know.
Don’t like it, learn to love it. Why? Because I’m positively Justin Tyme
Gee that almost sounds like a catchphrase or something
It is… Psst *whispers*I stole it from someone.
Psst *whispers*Why are you whispering to yourself?
Because I don’t want other people to think I’m some sort of crazy thief or something.
People are starting to know at least Fifty percent of that description.
SCOUTING REPORT!
Right, umm… Kay so you’re in a tag team match teaming with the man you beat last week on Revolution.
Well that’s awkward.
For you perhaps, try harder to lose next time.
Roger that.
Alright and your opponents are going to be Shawn Malakai and a returning Thunder. These guys are also WTTPWHE…
Explain that acronym to me please.
Wacky Tag Team Partners Who Hate Eachother.
Ahh I see so it’s Crazy teaming up with Crazy to face Crazy and Sane?
Who’s the sane one in that equation? Thunder?
No, it’s me!
Not by a long shot.
I’m beginning to strongly dislike you.
Believe me, if I could find another body to host me I would. But for now I’ll just put up with you. Alright, so you’re angry at the world and frustrated at the prospect of teaming up with a guy you beat last week. Aaaaaaaaand Action!
I’m not frustrated, I said last week I kind of like Tommy Staxx and can relate to him somewhat.
Ok when the director says “action” you do action. You listen to what I say or you lose and you continue rocking in the corner talking to yourself.
I’m still upset that you lied to me about that last week by the way.
ACTION!
*Suddenly that foggy haze lifts from me once again and I can see things much clearer now. I appear to be inside of some sort of greenhouse. I liked it better when my brain didn’t have control over me and I would do these things in limos or clubs and stuff. How am I going to use this environment to relate to my opponents? I suppose I could light sh*t on fire again, that proves a nice point… doesn’t do much to shake off that whole “you’re crazy” stigma I’ve been labeled with lately though. Maybe I can find a poisonous plant that I can rub on the kickpad of my boot so when I kick them they also get a really bad rash that would inconvenience them. Irregardless this is a dumb location for a wrestler to be. It’s hot as hell in here despite the fact it being winter. It’s like all the heat is being trapped inside That’s a bingo… Wait… heat trapped inside. Nope… thought I was on to something there. C’mon brain, help me out here, why am I at a greenhouse? Honestly it’s because you’ve been pissing me off lately Alright I guess I’m just going to have to go with this. There are about a dozen rows of various plants, each row stretching farther than I can really see due to some of the plants overgrowing and obscuring my sight of either end of the greenhouse. Sun beating down making this place nice and toasty for a winters day.
So today is a day to celebrate. Your Main Event Messiah has finally managed his first win since returning to the WFWF! And what better way to celebrate than coming to a botanical wonderland such as this? When you see Justin Tyme you naturally think of the color green. Now granted most of you think of it in the money sense but… I love plants, I guess? I’m going to celebrate by buying myself the most badass, most expensive plant I can find. And I’m going to use it to help me win so many wrestling matches.
*This just isn’t working, I can’t believe you’d ruin me like this. How the hell am I supposed to relate this setting to wrestling? Y’know Justin, you do not have to tie where you are into why you’re fighting every single time. Last week you weren’t really anywhere of note and managed to think of something to say about your opponent. Try really really hard and something will come to you. I suppose I've got a point. As I look around I see other people in this greenhouse simply staring at me. I’m not much of a fan of people staring as it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable however for now I’m willing to overlook that as I must focus. I really would like to find a useful plant though, that’d make this not such a wasted trip. I never realized how many different colors that plants and flowers came in. So many different shades of red, green and yellow you could almost make a pretty bitchin rainbow just out of all these shades. I set my sights on a particular plant that is a very scarlet shade of red that attracts me greatly. Reading a label taped to the wood box it sits in I get a description. Apparently it’s Poison Ivy, it’s leaves turn from green to red in the fall months which is why this ivy plant is red.
Lately I had been thinking about how the mist is a move that the bad guys need to use more in wrestling. It looks really cool for the crowd to see but if you use it on the right individual they will hate you forever. You instantly become a scumbag in their eyes for being such a prick resorting to spitting foreign substances in the eyes of their heroes. But I’m most decidedly not a good guy, I am a very bad man. I have been a bad man since day one when I stepped into the WFWF but for some reason along the way I managed to appeal myself to some fans of the WFWF to the point where they almost wanted to get behind my plight. I don’t need people on my side I can assure you of that. So when I sprayed that scarlet mist into the eyes of Shawn Malakai it wasn’t just to prove a point to Malakai that I am an unpredictable and grossly underhanded individual but to also prove to the fans of the WFWF that Justin Tyme is not a nice man inside the ring or outside of the ring. I was more than willing to take a man’s eyesight at the drop of a hat. I saw the chance and I took it. The reason I attempted to blind Mr. Malakai isn't because I dislike the man and wanted badly to take his eyesight but it was more of a message to the entire world of just what you are dealing with from now on when it comes to Justin Tyme. Malakai now knows that I am not afraid to use underhanded tactics to attain what it is that I want, to reach my Endgame as it were. Now fortunately for all of you people out there I was unsuccessful in taking Mr. Malakai’s eyesight however the one thing I was successful in was proving a point to Mr. Cameron Stone. You see after the beating I handed Mr. Stone he has decided to take this week off for what he claims to be “much needed recuperation” but it’s something that I prefer to describe as a very reasonable feeling of fear. I’ve rented space inside your brain Mr. Stone and rest assured I will continue to make you fear me next time you show your face at a WFWF show.
*I’ve decided I spent enough time in this greenhouse. A nearby patron who hasn’t stopped staring at me now seems a little frightened by me. I can’t say I blame the man though, he has every right to be scared. Studying the man a little more carefully I notice he’s actually wearing a WFWF t-shirt. This man is scared of me because he knows who I am. This man recognizes me as a bad man and should know what I’m capable of doing. However I’m in a public forum and I should act accordingly less I want to be arrested. Looking around to see if there are any other people in the immediate vicinity and seeing no one else, I address the man standing before me.
So you’re a wrestling fan?
*The man just shakes his head in agreeance
Then you know not to trifle with me. I’m going to ask you a question and you’re going to give me the answer I want to hear. Is this understood?
*The man, very frightened, gives no sign of understanding and just looks at me petrified. Reaching into the pocket of my coat I pull out my little red mist capsule. I am going to make an example to this man and the world that Justin Tyme asks the questions and when Justin Tyme asks the questions, you give him the answer.*
I am simply searching for the exit to this building for you see I find it much too warm in here for me to handle. I prefer the cold of winter. However I cannot seem to locate said exit due to all of this overgrowth. Could you point me to the exit? Is it at either end? Or is it along one of those two walls?
*The man looks to the left, breaking his eye contact with me long enough for me to put the red mist capsule in my mouth and break it. I feel the powder mix with my saliva now don’t swallow it this time. The man now looks to the left, clearly trying to remember which way he came in. When he looks back at me I spray him directly in the eyes with the mist and promptly put my hand over his mouth to muffle the screams.*
It’s a four sided structure sir, it shouldn’t have taken you that long to answer such a simple question. Now you see because you are a wrestling fan I know you know who I am which is why I picked you to prove this point. People won’t believe that I’m actually a very bad man, people don’t tend to take me at my word. However when you temporarily blind an innocent bystander then the message gets delivered loud and clear. I will now remove my hand from your mouth so long as you promise to stop your whining
*The man, writhing in pain, shakes his head emphatically as I remove my hand from over his mouth. The screams and cries have subsided to mainly a whimper, this man took that like a champ. I can’t just leave him like that so reaching into my pocket I pull out a white handkerchief and hand it to the man.*
Consider this to be a learning experience young man and you have impressed me with how you handled this entire ordeal. Consider this handkerchief from yours truly to be a trophy of how you survived this encounter. I will return to you with some assistance in helping you out of this place. Now you have a reason to not know where the exit is simply because you can not see.
*I did just lie to this man about the whole “finding him some assistance” thing. I’m sure he can figure this whole thing out. And if he can’t well then we can chalk the whole thing up to “wrong place, wrong time”. I guess there are things to do at a greenhouse after all. I should come here more often. Now to find that exit…*
You see I think everyone has forgotten what Justin Tyme is capable of. It’s almost a travesty really. I’ve been regarded as the jester of the WFWF before and before that I was on the border of jobber and lowly midcarder. I assure you all that Justin Tyme is neither of those things. I may be a very funny individual but I am telling you right now that I am also an incredibly dangerous individual. Thunder should know what I am capable as a competitor, I was attaining my greatest amount of success around the time Thunder was also on his shooting star ascent to the top of the WFWF. I’m a fan of Thunder, I always have been. No one was more happy to see Thunder back here than I was simply because I don’t think I had enough chances way back when to tangle with a competitor the caliber of Thunder. I relish at this opportunity now that a Hall of Famer like Thunder has someone like me on his radar. The only question I have now is “what took so long?” I feel ever so slighted by the fact that Thunder has always viewed me as someone not in his league. I assure you sir that I am very much in charge of the league you play in. I am top of the pops here in the WFWF, the Main Event Messiah will once again prove that it’s not just a catchphrase for me, I am what I say I am. I’m the best that this business has. I’m not at the top of the mountain, I am the god damn mountain. Thunder, I am so glad you are back in the WFWF because it gives me a chance to show you what you’ve been missing out on. I am no jester, I am no jobber. I am elite, I may not have the most victories but I will have a Hall of Fame ring just like the one that you have.
*Huzzah! I’ve found the exit of this godforsaken sweat box Congrats, you’ve found the exit to a rectangular building with one floor and one door.Pushing open the door, the cool winters air now embraces me. Much better I say. I don’t see my limo anywhere though. I thought we agreed I’m not allowed to drive until I’m sane again? Where’s my ride then? You’re forgetting about something, you talk about him and when you’re done your chariot will be here. Oh yes how forgetful of me. As I take a seat on a park bench just outside of the greenhouse, thoughts of my tag team partner flood my mind. Noooo, I’m drowning.*
And then there is that tag team partner that I have. Tommy Staxx, the man that I earned my first ‘W’ against since my return to the WFWF. Now I told you last week Tommy that you seem like the kind of fellow that I can really get to know and work well with. However you genuinely don’t seem to like me and that’s perfectly alright, I understand that. After all I pride myself on being incredibly unlikeable. But you see Tommy now we have to work together if we want to get you that first ‘W’ in the WFWF. I said last week that you’re fighting in Justin Tyme’s War and I meant it. However I don’t want you to be one of the casualties of this war Tommy, I’d like to make you my Four-Star General. I want you to help spearhead this war. I want to work right at your side and I want to be there when you get that big first win of your career. I want to be part of that moment. This way when it’s years down the line and Justin Tyme is in his nursing home eating applesauce and reminiscing about the good ol’ days I can point at Tommy Staxx, the biggest WFWF superstar of the 2010’s and say I am the man that helped set him on the winning course. You may not want to listen to me now because my first win since my return came at the expense of extending your losing streak for another week but I want you to trust me on this one. Take my hand Tommy and I will lead you down the yellow brick road of success. There’s a wonderful place at the end of that road where money rains from the sky and chocolate cake is all you can eat. Trust me Tommy, you want to go to that place and I’ll be your chariot.
*And seemingly on cue, my personal chariot rolls up. Getting into the back of my limo, I lay down and close my eyes. I feel that fog wash over me again as my brain prepares to nitpick everything I just said.
What smart ass thing do you have to say this week? If you rip on Justin Tyme’s War again I swear I’ll scream.
Actually I dig that little analogy now. It’s growing on me. The whole Four-Star General thing was awesome.
You’re never this complimentary on anything I say… where are you going with this?
All you can eat chocolate cake? Really? Where did you get chocolate cake from?
I’m really hungry and could go for some chocolate cake right about now.
Don’t think with your stomach, think with your brain.
But you never f*cking help me!
That’s beside the point. Now rest up, I’ll awake you when we arrive at the bakery. We’ll pick up some of your precious chocolate cake.
*It’s quite easy for me to drift to sleep after my brain shuts off and within moments I’m out like a light*
OOC: Like I said, it's pretty bad BUT I managed to clear my head long enough to come up with something. Counts for something.