Post by HHH316 on Mar 5, 2013 17:07:28 GMT -5
So first off, 20,000 posts, yay!
I find it kinda fitting on a day like today I hit this number.
I hope this doesn't come across as venting, ranting, or sounding cheesy. I just have some personal things I need to get off my chest. There are only a few people who know some of the things I have been going through, but if I can share this and someone can take something, anything from it, I would feel great. I'm just typing, so I apologize if this is long or I ramble. Maybe someone can take something from this, maybe not. I can look back on this now and it gives me a little hope for the future.
2 years ago I was in a great place in my life, personally and professionally. It seemed like my hard work and dedication was paying off. But everything begin to change during the summer of 2011. My grandmother, who was without question the reason I wanted to become a photographer, and was my closest confidant, passed away on July 4th from cancer. While that was difficult, I was with my girlfriend of nearly 5 years, and she was my rock to help me through it. Not even 2 months later that relationship ended. I'm not the kind of guy who will cry his eyes out or puff his chest out like a bad ass, but I'll admit it was a devastating time. I lost my best friend and soon to be wife for reasons I didn't understand.
As if that weren't enough to deal with, on August 26, 2011, I suffered what you could call a freak accident while at work. I'm a studio photographer, and all I did was pick up a camera and raise it to my eye level. Something I'd done a million times. But for some reason, when I did it this time, I tore my rotator cuff, suffered a labrum tear, and cracked capsule in my right shoulder. I was told I needed a surgery to fix everything, which I understood. But my employer felt like they were not responsible and sent me home, because I was a "liability" to the company. I was forced to sit at home, receiving no pay, and think about everything that had happened over the last 2 months.
That was without a doubt the worst thing I could have done. I over thought and over analyzed everything in my life and drove myself crazy. I began finding out things from friends that were happening in my relationship behind my back, which quickly changed my opinion of my now ex-girlfriend. You take the anger from that, mixed in with the pain of a torn up shoulder, it made for a bad combination.
I didn't ever feel sorry for myself, but I became very depressed. I was on constant painkillers to deal with my shoulder, and began drinking regularly. Not a good mixture. My parents at the same time, were going through a divorce, which caused a major split in my family. I didn't want to be around any of it, so I basically locked myself in my home and shut myself off from the world.
My employer fought me hard on my surgery. For some reason, they thought sending me home would be the best way to get rid of me. But I stood my ground and refused to give in. We have been battling in court for more than 18 months. But I finally received some good news this last week. With all of my time off from work, I became quite the detective/lawyer, and helped out my attorney with tons of information to use in my upcoming court case. When the opposing attorney saw all of the ammo I had on my side, she quickly offered a settlement to me. The contracts aren't finalized yet, but it looks like it will cover all of my medical bills (including surgery), lawyer fees, and most of my missed pay, dating back to October 2011.
There were times over the last 19 months I just felt like it all fell apart for me. I had surgeons tell me I should consider a new career. The ultimate goal for me has always been to get to the WWE in the photo department. I started with nothing and worked my way up quickly. I watched Wrestlemania 28 from the media suites, wondering if I would ever be able to regain what I had lost.
I have learned that we all at some point in our lives, we are going to get knocked down and our ass kicked. There's no way to avoid it, that's just life. What defines each of us is how we deal with that adversity. I always thought there was nothing on this planet that could knock me down, but I was dead wrong. I was knocked down and had no idea how to get back up. I'm very lucky I had a few people in my life that would not allow me to give up, nor would they give up on me. I think when you overcome something so life-changing, it can only make you stronger for the future. If you have taken the time to read any of this, first off, thank you. And second, just remember that, if anything.
Within the next couple of weeks I should have my contract signed and surgery scheduled and I'm looking at 6-8 months in recovery. I've been told by doctors that it will be a very difficult rehab schedule, but I already feel like I've beaten this whole thing. Most people would look at a surgery as a low point, it may very well be the best day of my life. It will be the start of a new beginning, so I can get my life back on track and do what I was put on this earth to do.
I find it kinda fitting on a day like today I hit this number.
I hope this doesn't come across as venting, ranting, or sounding cheesy. I just have some personal things I need to get off my chest. There are only a few people who know some of the things I have been going through, but if I can share this and someone can take something, anything from it, I would feel great. I'm just typing, so I apologize if this is long or I ramble. Maybe someone can take something from this, maybe not. I can look back on this now and it gives me a little hope for the future.
2 years ago I was in a great place in my life, personally and professionally. It seemed like my hard work and dedication was paying off. But everything begin to change during the summer of 2011. My grandmother, who was without question the reason I wanted to become a photographer, and was my closest confidant, passed away on July 4th from cancer. While that was difficult, I was with my girlfriend of nearly 5 years, and she was my rock to help me through it. Not even 2 months later that relationship ended. I'm not the kind of guy who will cry his eyes out or puff his chest out like a bad ass, but I'll admit it was a devastating time. I lost my best friend and soon to be wife for reasons I didn't understand.
As if that weren't enough to deal with, on August 26, 2011, I suffered what you could call a freak accident while at work. I'm a studio photographer, and all I did was pick up a camera and raise it to my eye level. Something I'd done a million times. But for some reason, when I did it this time, I tore my rotator cuff, suffered a labrum tear, and cracked capsule in my right shoulder. I was told I needed a surgery to fix everything, which I understood. But my employer felt like they were not responsible and sent me home, because I was a "liability" to the company. I was forced to sit at home, receiving no pay, and think about everything that had happened over the last 2 months.
That was without a doubt the worst thing I could have done. I over thought and over analyzed everything in my life and drove myself crazy. I began finding out things from friends that were happening in my relationship behind my back, which quickly changed my opinion of my now ex-girlfriend. You take the anger from that, mixed in with the pain of a torn up shoulder, it made for a bad combination.
I didn't ever feel sorry for myself, but I became very depressed. I was on constant painkillers to deal with my shoulder, and began drinking regularly. Not a good mixture. My parents at the same time, were going through a divorce, which caused a major split in my family. I didn't want to be around any of it, so I basically locked myself in my home and shut myself off from the world.
My employer fought me hard on my surgery. For some reason, they thought sending me home would be the best way to get rid of me. But I stood my ground and refused to give in. We have been battling in court for more than 18 months. But I finally received some good news this last week. With all of my time off from work, I became quite the detective/lawyer, and helped out my attorney with tons of information to use in my upcoming court case. When the opposing attorney saw all of the ammo I had on my side, she quickly offered a settlement to me. The contracts aren't finalized yet, but it looks like it will cover all of my medical bills (including surgery), lawyer fees, and most of my missed pay, dating back to October 2011.
There were times over the last 19 months I just felt like it all fell apart for me. I had surgeons tell me I should consider a new career. The ultimate goal for me has always been to get to the WWE in the photo department. I started with nothing and worked my way up quickly. I watched Wrestlemania 28 from the media suites, wondering if I would ever be able to regain what I had lost.
I have learned that we all at some point in our lives, we are going to get knocked down and our ass kicked. There's no way to avoid it, that's just life. What defines each of us is how we deal with that adversity. I always thought there was nothing on this planet that could knock me down, but I was dead wrong. I was knocked down and had no idea how to get back up. I'm very lucky I had a few people in my life that would not allow me to give up, nor would they give up on me. I think when you overcome something so life-changing, it can only make you stronger for the future. If you have taken the time to read any of this, first off, thank you. And second, just remember that, if anything.
Within the next couple of weeks I should have my contract signed and surgery scheduled and I'm looking at 6-8 months in recovery. I've been told by doctors that it will be a very difficult rehab schedule, but I already feel like I've beaten this whole thing. Most people would look at a surgery as a low point, it may very well be the best day of my life. It will be the start of a new beginning, so I can get my life back on track and do what I was put on this earth to do.
