Post by Deleted on Sept 18, 2013 8:52:19 GMT -5
I Did Not Lose
I Did Not Lose
I Did Not Lose
TMZ Office Headquarters: Los Angeles, CA
Harvey: “Alright guys, whatcha got?”Worker: “Well I got Hollywood megastar and WFWF superstar Jayson Garrett outside the Palm Steakhouse last night, and he seemed none too pleased with the result of his Revolution match.”
Roll Footage
Cameraman: “Jayson, what happened in your match?”Jayson (turns around): “What do you think happened? I got robbed, that referee couldn’t do his job right and I suffered because of it. You know what, you think you’re so smart finding me, asking stupid questions, how about you go find a different celebrity to harass you talentless slob. I’m done, now turn that off. (He grabs for the camera) Give me it now, come on! ” (The feed finally stops after a little more struggling).
End Footage
Harvey: “Wow, someone doesn’t know how to take a loss. Maybe we should start calling him the “Crybaby Kid”.
The workers at the TMZ office fake laughter, completely kissing up to the boss.
Jayson: “What do you want Randall?”
Randall: “Well let’s start with the explosion on TMZ.”
Jayson: “It’s their fault; they should know not to come up to me.”
Randall: “But Jayson, it shouldn’t matter it’s their job.”
Jayson: “Job!? Are you kidding me!? Following me around, yeah, that qualifies as a job. Look, how about everyone stays out of my way and kisses the ground I walk on and I won’t do that again, but until that happens, don’t expect me to be cordial. You want to talk about jobs? How about you not doing yours? Where were my bodyguards, huh?”
Randall: "Well.......(Randall has no response)
Jayson: "That's what I thought. I have a right mind to fire you. Next time, how about I worry about you do your job, just like you say the mouth-breathing TMZ staff is 'doing theirs', deal?"
Randall: "Alright, yes Mr. Garrett."
Everyone is talking about my loss, wrestling media, talk shows, TMZ, and they’re all saying how I am just mouth and hype, talking about me having lost my shot at the National Championship. I wasn't the loser of that match; I was a victim of a blatant misuse of power by the referee assigned to my match last week. That referee, whose name I don’t know and quite frankly don’t care about, must have skipped the day in refereeing school where you tell the timekeeper what number you are on while checking if I’m passed out. In addition, I was just resting, he said it so quietly I couldn't even hear him and let him know that I was in fact able to continue. He robbed me from saving the National Championship; he took my chance at winning that title and having it actually mean something. Not one soul has cared about Joseph Bishop’s three titles reigns, but they’d care about mine, which would've been better, more entertaining, and would have been a far greater success than all three of Joseph’s title reigns combined. Sadly, we will have to wait for that to happen, wait until I get another shot, wait till we get a fair and just referee, lots of waiting, only I don’t have time for all this waiting. I need that title, I will be defeating Joseph soon, and you won’t have to wait too long for the soon to be greatest National Champion to finally be recognized as champ.
I hang up right after that. Plebeians, the lot of them, praying that they’ll catch a celebrity saying something stupid on camera. Except what I said wasn't stupid, I spoke the truth whether everyone wants to believe it or not. I should be WFWF National Champion right now; I should be showing in champagne, I should be getting everyone’s admiration, yet here I am, screwed out of a title that I am the rightful owner of. I am the uncrowned National Champion and it’s just a matter of time before everyone will get to see that I do deserve that title, I do deserve the glory, and I most certainly deserve the hype. I am more talented than anyone on this Earth, I am better looking than anyone, and I am most certainly a better role model than anyone in the WFWF. When the youth of America grows up I can only hope that we get men and women who modeled their life after myself. I mean, who wouldn't want to be as successful, talented, and incredibly good-looking like me. Unfortunately, as much as people may try, they’ll never equal my greatness. Thirty years from now, when I am ready to retire to my beautiful home in Sacramento, everyone will be talking about my impact on life, no one will have cared about the men that have come and gone from WFWF, cause quite frankly no one is equal to me, but they will be looking at me and sharing stories of how great I was, and that is something I cannot wait to see.
Until I get my rightful shot at Joseph Bishop, I have something to keep me busy. Mr. Shawn Malakai, buddy, I've got a newsflash for you, and no one cares about you anymore. Sure everyone gave you pathetic sounding pity cheers when you were beaten in what will hopefully be your last world title shot. You are a bumbling oaf of a man who’s still holding on to his last shred of relevancy. You might as well lay down for me because I am the next big superstar, you will merely be a footnote when you look back at my career. Our match is a tale of two men, one on the rise, of course, me, and a man on the decline, you. We’ll meet, and I’ll win, but I hope you cherish the time you get in the ring with me because that’s the closest you’ll ever get to stepping foot in the ring with a champion. I’m sorry that you won’t be able to hang in the ring with me, but just know that once I go on to become the WFWF World Champion at Superbrawl, I’ll be living out your dream, living out your fantasy, and it’ll feel so good knowing that I’m going to do what you couldn't with all your experience, and that’s win the big title. After tonight, there will be no need to Google a referee’s name so you can look up his Twitter and tell him how he screwed up or talk about how Jayson Garrett was robbed, there will be no doubt who the winner is after our match Shawn. After I beat you, I'll prove to everyone that I am the future National and World champion, and you can count on that.