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Post by HVMMONS on Nov 19, 2013 0:11:36 GMT -5
Hi friends,
I was just informed about 4 hours ago that my parents are getting a divorce. I'm 18, and I never imagined this happening. This honestly came out of no where. After letting the reality sink in for about 20 minutes, I went on a long, silient drive by myself. It's pretty surreal, and I can't wrap my mind around the fact that it's not a dream, it's f'n reality. I'm angry at myself, both of my parents, and getting annoyed with anyone except for a select few since this was brought to my attention by my father. There is no big reason on to why this is happening. My dad is a great guy, and so is my mom. My emotions can't be expressed through a computer screen. I'm in some serious denial.
For anyone who has gone through this in their life, can you give me some tips on how to fix/get through this? Peace and much love. Thanks for any advice.
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Post by Wicked on Nov 19, 2013 0:15:10 GMT -5
I am so sorry buddy. I hope everything works out for you, emotionally.
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Post by Ace Bennett on Nov 19, 2013 0:15:14 GMT -5
Just be thankful you still have them both in your life and that they both want something to do with you. People grow apart, it happens unfortunately. Luckily for you, you're old enough where you've had a childhood with both parents in your life. I know it doesn't seem like much, but consider it a silver lining in the whole thing. I couldn't tell you where my father is, haven't heard from him in about four years and grew up with him randomly deciding every three or so months to disappear from mine and my sister's life because he didn't want to be a father.
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Post by Last Trent Barreta Fan on Nov 19, 2013 0:17:29 GMT -5
Mine got divorced when I was 5. My dad cheated on my mom, she found out when she was shoveling snow and found a love note on the ground. Divorces are not fun. People can use the "TWO CHRISTMASES" thing but it tears families apart. My mom lives 900 miles away in North Carolina now and my dad is married for the third time to a woman I dispise more than my first stepmom. My dads second marriage ended when he found out that the woman he cheated on my mom with cheated on him.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2013 0:21:28 GMT -5
My parents got divorced when I was a baby. Never saw them together.
I'm sure it's hard now but you are 18 and will be just fine. Imagine if you were 8 and had to go through all of that custody bs. Take it from me, it sucks.
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Post by RybackV1 on Nov 19, 2013 0:30:37 GMT -5
Divorce is becoming a normal thing.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2013 0:34:02 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that man. Luckily my parents worked things out and my life stayed normal, I live with my dad but I am old enough to see my mom whenever I want. I must say it is for the better, everyone is a lot more sane now that they are apart.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2013 0:34:54 GMT -5
Yea I had a similar situation to Brash.
I never saw my parents together but they were divorced before I was 5 so to be honest I never really had that difficulty of acceptance as it was all I ever knew. The hardest part for me was when they both started dating again and trying to come to terms with having "two families". Being a little older now it's not a big deal but it was tough growing up especially seeing your friends families together.
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Post by Brad on Nov 19, 2013 0:39:07 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that man.
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Post by HHH316 on Nov 19, 2013 0:54:36 GMT -5
Sorry to hear that. My parents split less than 2 years ago. I consider myself pretty lucky that they are both civil, it's still strange at times to deal with. My sister & I made it clear we weren't choosing sides, & since we were both adults, we expected the same from them. We'll still do things together, but the one thing I don't like is the split holidays with the extended holidays.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2013 0:58:37 GMT -5
Sucks man. For some reason I kinda feel like my parents will get divorced and it's definitely not sitting right with me. My dad is like, the greatest person ever, but my mother doesn't seem to appreciate it. It just feels odd around the house.
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Post by Ian from 616Entertainment. on Nov 19, 2013 1:44:38 GMT -5
My parents got divorced when I was 14 or 15, but they hated each other and fought every day since I was born. Haven't spoken to each other since 2005, unless you count them trading notes through me where sometimes they wished the other would die.
Growing up in the house I grew up in definitely has molded the person I am today. Rather than seeing the fights, the doors slamming, one of them leaving for a few days at a time and thinking "Oh, that's how relationships will be when I'm older," I learned right away that what I was exposed to every day was something no child should ever see and something no adult should ever let a child witness.
Its going to suck, man. But you know that. What you need to understand is that this isn't about you at all, and to be angry at yourself is wrong. So I'm telling you right now, don't be angry at yourself. Trust me, man, I've been there and done it. This is about them, not you. You're saying that it's coming out of no where, but it's not. People don't just get divorced for no reason. When the dust settles, somewhere down the line, its a conversation you can have with either one of them.
Be thankful it seems like its out of no where and that you didn't come up the way I did.
Sh*t is going to suck for a while man, but in the long run, you're still you, and you're still in charge of where you go from here.
Keep your sh*t together.
Hit me with a PM if you need to talk, man.
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Post by Darkhawk on Nov 19, 2013 1:52:48 GMT -5
My parents came close to getting a divorce when my mom found a necklace with my dad's name on it from his luggage when he went to Mexico. It was one of those diamond necklaces too. It didn't seem to bother me for some reason, but my brother took it hard though. It's usually always my dad's fault since he makes stupid decisions and doesn't think.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2013 6:39:34 GMT -5
Don't get stuck inbetween and don't try to pick a side even if one wants you to over the other. Give equal time and attention to each.
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Post by Escape The Rules on Nov 19, 2013 9:07:21 GMT -5
Your mum's a great guy?
Nah but seriously, it'll be fine. So they're no longer together, doesn't mean you can't spend any less time with them.
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Post by The Mask of Truth on Nov 19, 2013 9:34:08 GMT -5
Sorry to hear dude. I myself never met my father but I did go through this as a parent with my daughter. She was 4 when I separated from her mom. Till this day I can tell it still hurts her, and believe me as a father the pain is hard to deal with. Trust me, you'll understand what adults go through as you get older.
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Post by JC Motors on Nov 19, 2013 12:21:50 GMT -5
My parents have been married for 52 years and are still going strong. I would hate it if they got divorced
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Post by HVMMONS on Nov 19, 2013 22:38:14 GMT -5
Thanks for everyone's responses. I do appreciate everything everyone has said  |
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Post by Valbroski on Nov 19, 2013 22:56:13 GMT -5
Sometimes it's for the best. I honestly wish mine would get a divorce. They're already separated but technically still married just because my father won't sign the papers and just wants to spite my mother at this point. So immature.
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Post by Zigzag on Nov 19, 2013 23:30:11 GMT -5
My parents split in 1994... Our parents told us together. My dad traveled around the world for business, so most of the time, we were used to the dynamic of the three musketeers of my mom, my sister and I. The only thing that shook me, was my dad wanted to lay all the cards on the table, instead of easing us in... He announced that we'd have to sell the house, and that of course meant, we'd have to move. But with divorce came things we couldn't have, thanks to dear ol' dad not allowing it. We got cats, and cable TV. Our mom was strong, and never let on what she was feeling, or that it was a negative situation. Best of luck to you, man.
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