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Post by Planktung on Nov 19, 2013 23:55:14 GMT -5
My parents' divorce is eminent at this point. I've seen it coming since I was around 12. The only reason they didn't take action sooner is because they both wanted to wait until I was 18 and in college, which I am thankful for. But truthfully, I wish it could just happen already. My mom is pretty miserable being stuck in this s****y marriage and I just want her to be happy. She doesn't deserve to be tied down by my a**hole of a dad.
I can't really put myself in your position as someone who is upset at the fact, but I do hope that you feel better.
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cioffdogg
Superstar
Joined on: Jun 4, 2006 17:00:38 GMT -5
Posts: 707
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Post by cioffdogg on Nov 20, 2013 0:01:45 GMT -5
My parents divorced about 3 years ago.
At the time I didn't know what exactly to think. It was surreal, just as you said. My parents didn't seem unhappy to me, they just weren't the most loving couple. I think there's kind of a misunderstanding...just because people fight it doesn't necessarily mean they're unhappy, and just because they don't fight it doesn't necessarily mean they're happy. My parents didn't fight, they just weren't overly loving to each other. Looking back my Mom was dropping hints left and right all through my childhood that she was unhappy. I remember her saying when I was a kid that one day, she'd be living somewhere different and it always perplexed me...why would my mom want to live in a different house? As I learned more about my parents' marriage I learned that she was very unhappy only a few years into their 26 year marriage.
I've gone through many emotions on the subject. Sadness, anger, confusion, frustration, depression, hope.
The best advice I can give you is this, and it will only come in time -- do not blame yourself. Your parents getting a divorce has nothing to do with you. It is their relationship that broke, not yours. Unfortunately, you are a related party and for that reason, you will be affected. Still, it's not your fault, and you shouldn't accept any responsibility. A lot will change in a short period of time, and things will probably come out of the woodwork that you weren't aware of. Your parents love you, and that won't change. They simply don't love each other anymore. It will be easy to fool yourself into thinking that they will reconcile. Try not to fall into that way of thinking. It might seem mean to say, but sometimes it can do more harm than good to hold a candle for something that might not ever happen. Today, my parents are cordial with each other -- do I wish they'd get back together? Of course I do. It would mean they'd live together again and my Dad wouldn't have to sell the house that I grew up in. But I know that won't happen, and I'm not going to fool myself into thinking it is.
Be one with your emotions. What you feel is COMPLETELY okay. It is normal to feel angry, sad, empty, whatever. This is a big change in anyone's life...but it will get better. It just has to get worse before it does get better. I wish you luck!
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Post by Nivro™ on Nov 20, 2013 0:08:00 GMT -5
My parents divorced in 1997 when I was 13-14....best thing to ever happen. Everyone is happier and I get two Christmas's
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Jamie
Main Eventer
Joined on: Sept 14, 2013 15:54:23 GMT -5
Posts: 3,380
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Post by Jamie on Nov 20, 2013 2:12:35 GMT -5
Really sad stuff. Hope it all goes well for you.
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