Post by Revvie® on Dec 4, 2013 11:48:58 GMT -5
Disclaimer: No animals were actually harmed in the making of this roleplay.
Pendleton, IN
6:08pm
Apathy.
Apathetic.
A word for non-feeling, but it doesn’t capture the core. Nothing can contain the nature of non-being in a syllable, let alone two or three.
Void, Empty, Shell, and every word for something that is without purpose; without form. What word fits for what I am? My train of thought was heavy with inquiry.
But cabbage’s was not, “Whats gotcha all down in the crapter?”
“Nothing new,” which was both the true, and false.
“didja get dat stuff figgered out with Laura? Dat daughter dream you had, or whatever?”
I finally paid mind to my friend, and a friend he had always been. Not like McGurk, not like Trist, and certainly not like Penny. No, Cabbage and I’s friendship relied on his ineptitude, and poor memory. This toppled with my human need to confide, it made him near perfect, “I wouldn’t say figured out, but it is handled.”
Cabbage was settled into his favorite blue recliner, and his eyes were crimson opals. To say he was high, would have dialed down his mental flight (with the angels; all of which no one else see). We were back in my hometown, and I cannot deny that being at the old Cabbage Patch (Cabbages place, and general smoke house) was wonderfully nostalgic.
I didn’t sit; couldn’t sit, “I am, however, starting to wonder if I am in control anymore. Lately, things have been vague, and the whole of my being is split.
“Between the dreams of scales and choice, and blind reveries of Laura, doctors, and possibility of daughters. I don’t know, I-I just can’t focus like I need to. I feel…”
“Hungry?”
“I was going to say impulsive, but I suppose that works too.”
My interpretation was buried deeper, and angled steeper than any conjured in comparison. I never dwelled long on what he meant; only what I got out of it.
My stand turned to a mild pacing on the shag carpet, and I could feel the bellow of beats, in my feet. The background music only ebbed at the edge of our senses, just enough to heighten the ambiance, but not enough to throw off discussion. “Being here, and everything that is going on, kind of reminds me of when we were kids.”
“crap maan, I can’t member nothing back dat far.”
“I wish I could concur.”
By, Revvie
“-kind of reminds me of when we were kids.”
I was ten when I took my first hit, 12 when I found my stoner buddy (Cabbage), and 13 when they locked me away in a white room. “I have to concur dude, this is some good crap.”
We were held up in my dad’s garage, smoking a poorly rolled joint. The damn thing was pregnant, and Cabbage laughed as I struggled to get it together. He could have done it, but why ruin making me look like an idiot; he wasn’t as clueless back then, “So, after we’re done smoking the pregnant mary here, we headin’ out to class?”
“I’d rather not, but one more
ing tardy, and I’m dead, dude. My dad may not pay much damn mind to what I am doing, but a call from the school would piss him off for sure.”
“I’m just sayin’ after the other day, I could give a less if I make it.”
The other day was particularly interesting, but only for the events involving Cabbage. In a mistake that is hilarious and problematic; he accidentally grasped Sarah Locklin’s ass. Now, that would have been simple, but he did so in front of Sarah’s boyfriend, Tony. He promised Cabbage a beating of his life if he got after school.
Cabbage had laughed it off, but even with reddened, his anxiety didn’t cease. “I says we finish smokin’ this crap, and go back my trailer. Parents aren’t home, we could chill, and just play some games or some crap.”
“As much as I would love the crap out of that,” I looked down at my watch, “I have to at least get going, like I said, it isn’t worth dealing with my dad’s bullcrap. Especially since it’s your problem.”
Cabbage growled, “Man it was ain’ accident, not my fault he had to get all ing territo-torial?”
“Do you even know what that word means?”
“I saw it on discovery, bout animals and stuff.”
I giggled; the smoke had me, “Yea, but do you KNOW what it means?”
“Aint got a damn clue, and don’t give a crap,” Cabbage retained a defensive stance, but one that would slowly dissolve into oblivion over the course of the years. But for now he stood firm that he knew what it was, even if that meant he couldn’t tell me.
I didn’t care. I was far too high to care.
…The Absurd is an existential notion teenagers understand inherently. To face the absurd, is to face inevitability of the self, but then again, we are talking abouting teenagers. When faced with mankind’s struggle for meaning; I could laugh, because…
…I didn’t care. I was far too lost to care.
________________
My lack of caring didn’t change the nature of the room around me, or its occupants. It didn’t change Cabbage eyeballing Tony from across the room. It didn’t stop Sarah from oddly winking at Cabbage. Hell, it didn’t even stop Tommy Goyer from playing with one of the many animals at that back of the biology room. His favorite being “Mike” the mouse, but no one else called the creature by name; only tommy cared enough to name it.
No, nothing changed, nothing stopped, and my high was wearing off. The truth was, I didn’t feel much anymore unless I was high, and I am not even sure what the hell that counted as. Didn’t matter what I felt; I felt, “Cabbage…
“Cabbage?
“CABBAGE!” Finally, the last one landed a blow to his attention, and he turned to face me.
The big goof grinned, “I think she likes me.”
“Tony doesn’t, and I think that should be the main focus; not the whore on the side.”
“SHE ISNT A WHORE,” Cabbage erupted, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“Whatever you say man, but when he beats the crap out of you for looking at her, well, don’t say I didn’tin’ warn ya.”
The bell sounded before Cabbage could weigh in further; his eyes red with love (and probably some THC). The standing students seated, and the teacher let the door fall shut behind him. It was biology 1, and Mr. Sanders was less than a teacher, and focused on his coaching instead of his classroom. I could barely stomach his lectures, but today I wouldn’t have to.
Mr. Sanders’ stood in front of the class, “Today, we will be in the lab. That means, AFTER, I give you the information, you will pick a partner. We will be pairing up and looking at slides of some cells. You are to identify the parts to the best of your ability. Tomorrow will be a quiz over that section in the book, so make sure you read it tonight.
“Alright, that is all from me, get to work.”
He departed to his desk, and his cellphone. Sanders didn’t give a crap, and I didn’t either. I had plans to pair with Cabbage, but he took off long before I could corner him. He popped right into a seat next to Sarah, and she grinned at him. This was about two rows away from me, or rather; we.
Tommy was my partner, and his faithful biology sidekick: Mike the rodent. I can tolerate a lot, especially when numb. Also, Tommy was brilliant, but so weird. The only reflection of genius were in his grades.
But the only reflection that mattered to me, was the acne inhabited face that stared back at me. “So Tommy, yea, umm,” nothing came.
“Mice have a very sharp sense of hearing. They can hear in the human range, as well as in the ultrasonic range. While communicating with each other, they make ultrasonic, as well as regular sounds.” Tommy rattled off the information as if it were an essay.
I nodded politely, and then stuck my face down into microscope. Mostly because I didn’t have a clue what to say, but that never keeps people from talking as though I did.
“I know I am weird,” which wouldn’t have sounded as odd, if I couldn’t hear the mouse on his shoulder. “But Mike doesn’t see me like that.”
I pulled up from my lazy attempt at looking busy, “uh huh.” Okay, so not the nicest response, but anything I said seemed wrong. I couldn’t tell him ‘I understand’, because I didn’t, and the thought of trying to ask further question. Well; that just made me queasy.
They were animals, mike was an animal, and Cabbage; well, Cabbage was the animal about ready to get eaten by Tony (which might as well have been another word for animal). Noise of the Tony beast shot over the biology lab savannah, “YOU QUITING TOUCHING HER NOW!” The stoner stuck his head up to find the intruder, and shook when it sunk in.
Our teacher might have cared if he had been in the class to hear it, but when I looked to see his reaction, he was gone. I wish that would have surprised me, but I grew numb to it all; even as I watched the angry ape stomp over to my friend.
So I watched, “Maan, I didn’t do nuffin. Just a da-damn project, chill out.”
Tony was now standing at the other side of the lab table; across from him was Cabbage, in wide eye wonder. I don’t think situation had registered with him yet, but the crowd of kids gathering, and gasping, knew what was about to happen. Tony flexed, and Cabbage winked with confused amour, “Are youin’ flirting with me homo?”
The stoner recoiled, and stood up from his stool. With both of them on their feet, the human mass began to pander to the tune of “fight, fight, fight.” It begged the question, how we ever made it out of the marshlands, or Plato’s Cave.
Tony walked up on Cabbage, and their chests connected. While I watched the two, I didn’t want involved, and didn’t care. Then came the hunger, lust, and all of it laced with unfulfilled desire.
My movements streamlined, and my body was solemn. I walked over, and pressed my way between Tony and Cabbage. This meant nothing, and I couldn’t decide why I did until the first shot fired. Tony took his fist across my jaw, but I didn’t fall.
I didn’t cry for help.
I didn’t walk away.
I returned the favor, and landed a fist to his face; back on his ass. Only a second passed, and I followed with a knee to the nose; red waves flowed, and a wet pop sent the classroom into sounds of disgust.
I sat down on my prey, and laid punches into his meat mess of a face. After a few minutes he stopped whimpering; I had knocked him out. But my flurry didn’t stop, and it was out of my control. I wasn’t agree, or vengeful. This attack had no purpose, and didn’t look to end without a good reason.
That good reason came when someone found the nerve to put an end to my onslaught, “Hey, ok, l-leave him-h-him alone.”
It was Tommy, with Mike safely tucked away in his hands. I obliged his request, but I didn’t stop there. I found myself walking up to the blister blazoned boy, and his only friend, “And why exactly do you think you’re the person to ask such a thing?”
Tommy froze, and I grinned with fervor. “I-I uh; some ancient stories give credit to mice or rats with punishing evil people.” More facts?
Later I would dwell on why, but at that moment I only reacted. A punch to the gut released the vermin from his grip, followed by another wet pop; this time it wasn’t the nose of a human animal, but Mike the mouse now ceased movement.
Tommy fell to the ground; tears poured from him, and I saw nothing.
He wept aloud, and I heard nothing.
Cabbage asked me why, and I said nothing.
“-I saw nothing…I heard nothing…I said nothing.”
Pendleton, IN
8:47 pm
I left Cabbage’s 3 hours earlier, and my buzz dwindled down to a mere sense of disorientation. The Ice Cream Truck rolled up in a spot at the park and, with a few sputters, it shut off.
The park was a place of refuge as a child, a place of my own as a teen, and now it was a place to rekindle. I pulled toward the small fall by the pitter patter . It didn’t take me long to wind my way out of the beater, and down toward the sound. The waves curdled, and I swore it called out my name.
My reaction was of curiosity, and I pushed my face closer to the water. The soft glow of lamps lit the park, and my reflection was now in view. The bald-headed fiend smiled at me, “I see you.”
“Great, now I am talking to myself.”
The reflection grinned, “You act as though this if the first time.”
I rolled my eyes, “Does it matter?”
He laughed at me with my very own cackle but, as the water moved through, his face altered. I now could see my father looking back. It was the same tired eyes I now saw in my face. The same tired eyes that closed on his deathbed; before my first Scars and Stripes.
The image croaked, “Budman?”
“Dad?” I knew it wasn’t him, but I wanted to believe, even if the rest of me wanted to ring my dumbing neck.
“You’re coming to see me tonight, right?”
I had this conversation before he died, “Of course, I told you I would, and I will,” but I never showed up; not in time. I was too busy with wrestling, too busy with the battle royal, and soon to be too busy with Kyzer.
I wasn’t busy now, “What happened that’s got you all excited?”
Dread swarmed my father’s face, and with a swirl, he was gone. The face that swam below me now was that of Laura. The neighbor, the dream, and possibly my daughter. I wasnt certain about any of it, but I also knew asking myself was useless.
Laura huffed, “I wish you knew you could talk to me.”
Reality blurred, and I acted like it never happened, “I don’t talk to anyone.” The words surfaced, as they had the first time. They marched through the muck, and re-enacted a play that deserved a curtain call.
“I am just worried.”
I threw up my arms, but I didn’t think about what I was doing. With a splash I fell into the shallow flow. I was wet, but I wasn’t going to drown. I couldn’t find her face anymore. She was gone too, and I was alone; again.
A voice bubbled up, and I struggled further out to the depths. My body rotated round, and round, before I realized I must have just been hearing things (even though I had been hearing things all night). The path back was harder, and my legs weak from the trudge. I almost reached the rocky shore when I slipped.
The rapids were enough to pull me along, and over the little fall.
I went under.
----------
Was I dead?
Was I dreaming?
Did any of that matter right then?
The first two questions I am still lost on, but the last was a great big NO; it didn’t matter.
I fell into the falls, and woke up in my old room. We moved a bit when I was a child, but the house in Pendleton was the only one with my own room.
A voice shattered my thoughts, “What are you doing?”
My head roamed for the recall on the voice, but it didn’t surface right away. However, I found my old Ninja turtle poster stuck to my wall, and my game system (which I had taken a sharpie too on impulse). Toy wrestlers lined the floor, and that is when I saw him; saw myself.
It wasn’t a reflection this time, and I couldn’t have been more than four or five in this visage. The kid gazed up, “My daddy bought me all of these. You wanna play?”
“Um, no, I just,” didn’t have a clue what to say to my younger self, but he had plenty of questions.
“Are you a wrestler?” He blinked at me, and then eyed his figure for a second, before returning to me. “You are, arntcha?
“I don’t have your figure though, but I have a lot of others if you want to be them?”
“No thanks.”
The kid continued his quiz, “Are you a bad guy, or a good guy?” I took a moment to really get a feel for what he was thinking, but his blank stare didn’t even meet me halfway. No; he just gawked.
“I am a little of both.”
“No, you look like a bad guy. I think you are a bad guy; I like bad guys.”
I retorted, “I may have done some bad things, but I am not a bad guy,” those were the words I wanted, but they were bitter.
“No, you are a bad guy,” and young Jason turned away from me, and went back to playing.
But I wasn’t done, “Why do you keep saying that?!”
The young Jason stood up, and dropped his figures to the ground. A plastic championship belt wrapped around his waist, and each step tasted of thunder; it hurt. “Why did you take his rat?”
“What are you talking about?”
The young Jason stepped closer, and I backed away as he did. His eyes were black, and I could see the void; hunger; apathy in them. He didn’t care, “Why did you take his rat?”
“Because, be-because he was in my way!” I shouted long and loud, but my sounds were hollow.
He inched closer, “Why did you kill Mike?”
“Mike who, what the hell are you talking about, I didn’t kill anyone?”
“Mike the mouse, why did you kill him?”
He consumed what little courage I had saved up, and my body pressed against the wall; stuck.
“Is it because he was in your way?” The child wasn’t me anymore, and a shrill voice cut through his face. It revealed rotten teeth, flesh. His head was could have been signed by Salvador Dali.
“Why…?”
“No no, that is what I have to ask you,” his words were clear, but sounds slurping meat came with it, “WHY do you feel the need to put people in your way, just to have something to knock down?”
“That isn’t true, that isn’t the reason!”
The child’s hand rested on my face, and pulled me into view of his…her eyes? Wait; it was Laura holding my head up!
A chill then circled my nerves, and my body seized up. I was back on the shore, soaked and freezing. Laura looked down at me, “You okay?”
“I-I-I’ll b-b-b-be fine.”
Maybe it was because I felt like she kept saving me, or maybe it was the cold delirium setting in, but I asked her the question. “A-ar-ar-are y-y-you my dau-daughter?”
She smiled, and only nodded.
Preview for the Next Revolution…
Guest starring, Scarlett Quinn
“Mr. Slinn inquires as to why we haven't stopped treatment? He also had a few other concerns, one of which was your ability to take care of the patient.” The man wore a slick suit, and no discernable hair on his entire body.
Laura wasn’t fazed, “Tell you what; you tell Mr. Slinn to concern himself with projects that actually need help. I am fine.”
Her hiss did nothing to fade the man’s monotone, “He also feels that the incident involving the acid, was too convenient, given your earlier requests.”
“Are you accusing me something?” Laura’s eyes went dead and, like her dads, they looked right through whoever they found.
Pendleton, IN
6:08pm
Apathy.
Apathetic.
A word for non-feeling, but it doesn’t capture the core. Nothing can contain the nature of non-being in a syllable, let alone two or three.
Void, Empty, Shell, and every word for something that is without purpose; without form. What word fits for what I am? My train of thought was heavy with inquiry.
But cabbage’s was not, “Whats gotcha all down in the crapter?”
“Nothing new,” which was both the true, and false.
“didja get dat stuff figgered out with Laura? Dat daughter dream you had, or whatever?”
I finally paid mind to my friend, and a friend he had always been. Not like McGurk, not like Trist, and certainly not like Penny. No, Cabbage and I’s friendship relied on his ineptitude, and poor memory. This toppled with my human need to confide, it made him near perfect, “I wouldn’t say figured out, but it is handled.”
Cabbage was settled into his favorite blue recliner, and his eyes were crimson opals. To say he was high, would have dialed down his mental flight (with the angels; all of which no one else see). We were back in my hometown, and I cannot deny that being at the old Cabbage Patch (Cabbages place, and general smoke house) was wonderfully nostalgic.
I didn’t sit; couldn’t sit, “I am, however, starting to wonder if I am in control anymore. Lately, things have been vague, and the whole of my being is split.
“Between the dreams of scales and choice, and blind reveries of Laura, doctors, and possibility of daughters. I don’t know, I-I just can’t focus like I need to. I feel…”
“Hungry?”
“I was going to say impulsive, but I suppose that works too.”
My interpretation was buried deeper, and angled steeper than any conjured in comparison. I never dwelled long on what he meant; only what I got out of it.
My stand turned to a mild pacing on the shag carpet, and I could feel the bellow of beats, in my feet. The background music only ebbed at the edge of our senses, just enough to heighten the ambiance, but not enough to throw off discussion. “Being here, and everything that is going on, kind of reminds me of when we were kids.”
“crap maan, I can’t member nothing back dat far.”
“I wish I could concur.”
By, Revvie
“-kind of reminds me of when we were kids.”
I was ten when I took my first hit, 12 when I found my stoner buddy (Cabbage), and 13 when they locked me away in a white room. “I have to concur dude, this is some good crap.”
We were held up in my dad’s garage, smoking a poorly rolled joint. The damn thing was pregnant, and Cabbage laughed as I struggled to get it together. He could have done it, but why ruin making me look like an idiot; he wasn’t as clueless back then, “So, after we’re done smoking the pregnant mary here, we headin’ out to class?”
“I’d rather not, but one more
ing tardy, and I’m dead, dude. My dad may not pay much damn mind to what I am doing, but a call from the school would piss him off for sure.”“I’m just sayin’ after the other day, I could give a
less if I make it.” The other day was particularly interesting, but only for the events involving Cabbage. In a mistake that is hilarious and problematic; he accidentally grasped Sarah Locklin’s ass. Now, that would have been simple, but he did so in front of Sarah’s boyfriend, Tony. He promised Cabbage a beating of his life if he got after school.
Cabbage had laughed it off, but even with reddened, his anxiety didn’t cease. “I says we finish smokin’ this crap, and go back my trailer. Parents aren’t home, we could chill, and just play some games or some crap.”
“As much as I would love the crap out of that,” I looked down at my watch, “I have to at least get going, like I said, it isn’t worth dealing with my dad’s bullcrap. Especially since it’s your problem.”
Cabbage growled, “Man it was a
in’ accident, not my fault he had to get all ing territo-torial?”“Do you even know what that word means?”
“I saw it on discovery, bout animals and stuff.”
I giggled; the smoke had me, “Yea, but do you KNOW what it means?”
“Aint got a damn clue, and don’t give a crap,” Cabbage retained a defensive stance, but one that would slowly dissolve into oblivion over the course of the years. But for now he stood firm that he knew what it was, even if that meant he couldn’t tell me.
I didn’t care. I was far too high to care.
…The Absurd is an existential notion teenagers understand inherently. To face the absurd, is to face inevitability of the self, but then again, we are talking about
ing teenagers. When faced with mankind’s struggle for meaning; I could laugh, because……I didn’t care. I was far too lost to care.
________________
My lack of caring didn’t change the nature of the room around me, or its occupants. It didn’t change Cabbage eyeballing Tony from across the room. It didn’t stop Sarah from oddly winking at Cabbage. Hell, it didn’t even stop Tommy Goyer from playing with one of the many animals at that back of the biology room. His favorite being “Mike” the mouse, but no one else called the creature by name; only tommy cared enough to name it.
No, nothing changed, nothing stopped, and my high was wearing off. The truth was, I didn’t feel much anymore unless I was high, and I am not even sure what the hell that counted as. Didn’t matter what I felt; I felt, “Cabbage…
“Cabbage?
“CABBAGE!” Finally, the last one landed a blow to his attention, and he turned to face me.
The big goof grinned, “I think she likes me.”
“Tony doesn’t, and I think that should be the main focus; not the whore on the side.”
“SHE ISNT A WHORE,” Cabbage erupted, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him.
“Whatever you say man, but when he beats the crap out of you for looking at her, well, don’t say I didn’t
in’ warn ya.”The bell sounded before Cabbage could weigh in further; his eyes red with love (and probably some THC). The standing students seated, and the teacher let the door fall shut behind him. It was biology 1, and Mr. Sanders was less than a teacher, and focused on his coaching instead of his classroom. I could barely stomach his lectures, but today I wouldn’t have to.
Mr. Sanders’ stood in front of the class, “Today, we will be in the lab. That means, AFTER, I give you the information, you will pick a partner. We will be pairing up and looking at slides of some cells. You are to identify the parts to the best of your ability. Tomorrow will be a quiz over that section in the book, so make sure you read it tonight.
“Alright, that is all from me, get to work.”
He departed to his desk, and his cellphone. Sanders didn’t give a crap, and I didn’t either. I had plans to pair with Cabbage, but he took off long before I could corner him. He popped right into a seat next to Sarah, and she grinned at him. This was about two rows away from me, or rather; we.
Tommy was my partner, and his faithful biology sidekick: Mike the rodent. I can tolerate a lot, especially when numb. Also, Tommy was brilliant, but so weird. The only reflection of genius were in his grades.
But the only reflection that mattered to me, was the acne inhabited face that stared back at me. “So Tommy, yea, umm,” nothing came.
“Mice have a very sharp sense of hearing. They can hear in the human range, as well as in the ultrasonic range. While communicating with each other, they make ultrasonic, as well as regular sounds.” Tommy rattled off the information as if it were an essay.
I nodded politely, and then stuck my face down into microscope. Mostly because I didn’t have a clue what to say, but that never keeps people from talking as though I did.
“I know I am weird,” which wouldn’t have sounded as odd, if I couldn’t hear the mouse on his shoulder. “But Mike doesn’t see me like that.”
I pulled up from my lazy attempt at looking busy, “uh huh.” Okay, so not the nicest response, but anything I said seemed wrong. I couldn’t tell him ‘I understand’, because I didn’t, and the thought of trying to ask further question. Well; that just made me queasy.
They were animals, mike was an animal, and Cabbage; well, Cabbage was the animal about ready to get eaten by Tony (which might as well have been another word for animal). Noise of the Tony beast shot over the biology lab savannah, “YOU QUIT
ING TOUCHING HER NOW!” The stoner stuck his head up to find the intruder, and shook when it sunk in.Our teacher might have cared if he had been in the class to hear it, but when I looked to see his reaction, he was gone. I wish that would have surprised me, but I grew numb to it all; even as I watched the angry ape stomp over to my friend.
So I watched, “Maan, I didn’t do nuffin. Just a da-damn project, chill out.”
Tony was now standing at the other side of the lab table; across from him was Cabbage, in wide eye wonder. I don’t think situation had registered with him yet, but the crowd of kids gathering, and gasping, knew what was about to happen. Tony flexed, and Cabbage winked with confused amour, “Are you
in’ flirting with me homo?”The stoner recoiled, and stood up from his stool. With both of them on their feet, the human mass began to pander to the tune of “fight, fight, fight.” It begged the question, how we ever made it out of the marshlands, or Plato’s Cave.
Tony walked up on Cabbage, and their chests connected. While I watched the two, I didn’t want involved, and didn’t care. Then came the hunger, lust, and all of it laced with unfulfilled desire.
My movements streamlined, and my body was solemn. I walked over, and pressed my way between Tony and Cabbage. This meant nothing, and I couldn’t decide why I did until the first shot fired. Tony took his fist across my jaw, but I didn’t fall.
I didn’t cry for help.
I didn’t walk away.
I returned the favor, and landed a fist to his face; back on his ass. Only a second passed, and I followed with a knee to the nose; red waves flowed, and a wet pop sent the classroom into sounds of disgust.
I sat down on my prey, and laid punches into his meat mess of a face. After a few minutes he stopped whimpering; I had knocked him out. But my flurry didn’t stop, and it was out of my control. I wasn’t agree, or vengeful. This attack had no purpose, and didn’t look to end without a good reason.
That good reason came when someone found the nerve to put an end to my onslaught, “Hey, ok, l-leave him-h-him alone.”
It was Tommy, with Mike safely tucked away in his hands. I obliged his request, but I didn’t stop there. I found myself walking up to the blister blazoned boy, and his only friend, “And why exactly do you think you’re the person to ask such a thing?”
Tommy froze, and I grinned with fervor. “I-I uh; some ancient stories give credit to mice or rats with punishing evil people.” More facts?
Later I would dwell on why, but at that moment I only reacted. A punch to the gut released the vermin from his grip, followed by another wet pop; this time it wasn’t the nose of a human animal, but Mike the mouse now ceased movement.
Tommy fell to the ground; tears poured from him, and I saw nothing.
He wept aloud, and I heard nothing.
Cabbage asked me why, and I said nothing.
“-I saw nothing…I heard nothing…I said nothing.”
Pendleton, IN
8:47 pm
I left Cabbage’s 3 hours earlier, and my buzz dwindled down to a mere sense of disorientation. The Ice Cream Truck rolled up in a spot at the park and, with a few sputters, it shut off.
The park was a place of refuge as a child, a place of my own as a teen, and now it was a place to rekindle. I pulled toward the small fall by the pitter patter . It didn’t take me long to wind my way out of the beater, and down toward the sound. The waves curdled, and I swore it called out my name.
My reaction was of curiosity, and I pushed my face closer to the water. The soft glow of lamps lit the park, and my reflection was now in view. The bald-headed fiend smiled at me, “I see you.”
“Great, now I am talking to myself.”
The reflection grinned, “You act as though this if the first time.”
I rolled my eyes, “Does it matter?”
He laughed at me with my very own cackle but, as the water moved through, his face altered. I now could see my father looking back. It was the same tired eyes I now saw in my face. The same tired eyes that closed on his deathbed; before my first Scars and Stripes.
The image croaked, “Budman?”
“Dad?” I knew it wasn’t him, but I wanted to believe, even if the rest of me wanted to ring my dumb
ing neck.“You’re coming to see me tonight, right?”
I had this conversation before he died, “Of course, I told you I would, and I will,” but I never showed up; not in time. I was too busy with wrestling, too busy with the battle royal, and soon to be too busy with Kyzer.
I wasn’t busy now, “What happened that’s got you all excited?”
Dread swarmed my father’s face, and with a swirl, he was gone. The face that swam below me now was that of Laura. The neighbor, the dream, and possibly my daughter. I wasnt certain about any of it, but I also knew asking myself was useless.
Laura huffed, “I wish you knew you could talk to me.”
Reality blurred, and I acted like it never happened, “I don’t talk to anyone.” The words surfaced, as they had the first time. They marched through the muck, and re-enacted a play that deserved a curtain call.
“I am just worried.”
I threw up my arms, but I didn’t think about what I was doing. With a splash I fell into the shallow flow. I was wet, but I wasn’t going to drown. I couldn’t find her face anymore. She was gone too, and I was alone; again.
A voice bubbled up, and I struggled further out to the depths. My body rotated round, and round, before I realized I must have just been hearing things (even though I had been hearing things all night). The path back was harder, and my legs weak from the trudge. I almost reached the rocky shore when I slipped.
The rapids were enough to pull me along, and over the little fall.
I went under.
----------
Was I dead?
Was I dreaming?
Did any of that matter right then?
The first two questions I am still lost on, but the last was a great big NO; it didn’t matter.
I fell into the falls, and woke up in my old room. We moved a bit when I was a child, but the house in Pendleton was the only one with my own room.
A voice shattered my thoughts, “What are you doing?”
My head roamed for the recall on the voice, but it didn’t surface right away. However, I found my old Ninja turtle poster stuck to my wall, and my game system (which I had taken a sharpie too on impulse). Toy wrestlers lined the floor, and that is when I saw him; saw myself.
It wasn’t a reflection this time, and I couldn’t have been more than four or five in this visage. The kid gazed up, “My daddy bought me all of these. You wanna play?”
“Um, no, I just,” didn’t have a clue what to say to my younger self, but he had plenty of questions.
“Are you a wrestler?” He blinked at me, and then eyed his figure for a second, before returning to me. “You are, arntcha?
“I don’t have your figure though, but I have a lot of others if you want to be them?”
“No thanks.”
The kid continued his quiz, “Are you a bad guy, or a good guy?” I took a moment to really get a feel for what he was thinking, but his blank stare didn’t even meet me halfway. No; he just gawked.
“I am a little of both.”
“No, you look like a bad guy. I think you are a bad guy; I like bad guys.”
I retorted, “I may have done some bad things, but I am not a bad guy,” those were the words I wanted, but they were bitter.
“No, you are a bad guy,” and young Jason turned away from me, and went back to playing.
But I wasn’t done, “Why do you keep saying that?!”
The young Jason stood up, and dropped his figures to the ground. A plastic championship belt wrapped around his waist, and each step tasted of thunder; it hurt. “Why did you take his rat?”
“What are you talking about?”
The young Jason stepped closer, and I backed away as he did. His eyes were black, and I could see the void; hunger; apathy in them. He didn’t care, “Why did you take his rat?”
“Because, be-because he was in my way!” I shouted long and loud, but my sounds were hollow.
He inched closer, “Why did you kill Mike?”
“Mike who, what the hell are you talking about, I didn’t kill anyone?”
“Mike the mouse, why did you kill him?”
He consumed what little courage I had saved up, and my body pressed against the wall; stuck.
“Is it because he was in your way?” The child wasn’t me anymore, and a shrill voice cut through his face. It revealed rotten teeth, flesh. His head was could have been signed by Salvador Dali.
“Why…?”
“No no, that is what I have to ask you,” his words were clear, but sounds slurping meat came with it, “WHY do you feel the need to put people in your way, just to have something to knock down?”
“That isn’t true, that isn’t the reason!”
The child’s hand rested on my face, and pulled me into view of his…her eyes? Wait; it was Laura holding my head up!
A chill then circled my nerves, and my body seized up. I was back on the shore, soaked and freezing. Laura looked down at me, “You okay?”
“I-I-I’ll b-b-b-be fine.”
Maybe it was because I felt like she kept saving me, or maybe it was the cold delirium setting in, but I asked her the question. “A-ar-ar-are y-y-you my dau-daughter?”
She smiled, and only nodded.
Preview for the Next Revolution…
Guest starring, Scarlett Quinn
“Mr. Slinn inquires as to why we haven't stopped treatment? He also had a few other concerns, one of which was your ability to take care of the patient.” The man wore a slick suit, and no discernable hair on his entire body.
Laura wasn’t fazed, “Tell you what; you tell Mr. Slinn to concern himself with projects that actually need help. I am fine.”
Her hiss did nothing to fade the man’s monotone, “He also feels that the incident involving the acid, was too convenient, given your earlier requests.”
“Are you accusing me something?” Laura’s eyes went dead and, like her dads, they looked right through whoever they found.
