Post by jdfranchise on Apr 12, 2014 22:59:34 GMT -5
Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you?
Atlanta, Georgia
March 25, 2014
6:00 PM
Josh: Drake found all my wrestling stuff.[/color][/font]
Nikki: I know. I found him in the attic two weeks ago while you were at work. He was looking at it then as well.[/color][/font]
He thought when he finally came clean about his wrestling career to his eight year old son, because being honest he is that boy’s dad. He thought he would get a generalized “Oh cool” response before Drake went back into the obsession of the week, generally some video game that he saw on TV or that he looked up on YouTube. But now, it seems that wrestling has become his new obsession. Every day when Josh comes home from the office, Drake is full of questions about different wrestling moves that he saw on tapes that Josh kept from his career. The hardest part is telling him about these moments and answering all these questions, because of the memories it brought back. Sure some were good, but a lot of them left a sour taste in his mouth. His sudden silence speaks volumes of how uncomfortable talking about wrestling makes him.
Nikki can sense it, even though she isn’t looking directly at Josh. She is changing the baby on their massive bed in the master bedroom. She has a towel down under Hunter to prevent any accidents and extra laundry, which was in the drier in the laundry room downstairs. Josh is changing out of his suit into something more comfortable, in this case a pair of loose fitting carpenter style jeans and a black Under Armour shirt. He walks over, pulling his shirt over his head, smiling at his four month old son. Hunter returns the smile as Nikki picks him and puts him down in the crib stomach first around a plethora of toys. Because his house is rather large and both Josh and Nikki are pretty sound sleepers for the most part, Hunter’s crib is in their master bedroom so it’s easier to keep an ear out for him. Ah, parenthood, one of the joys of not being out on the road.
Nikki: I’m not going to lie to Drake, Josh. There’s really no point in that. And besides, you have to think it’s pretty awesome that your son wants to be like you even more after finding out that you used to wrestle.[/color]
Josh: It’s pretty cool, but I don’t want Drake to think that wrestling is as it seems on TV. There’s a lot of sh*t that happens, a lot of sordid things that you don’t see. I want to protect you, him, and Hunter from that life because that life doesn’t fare well on the family life.[/color]
Nikki: Josh, you’re my husband. And what the hell kind of wife would I be if I didn’t support what you really love to do?[/color]
Support. It’s always been what Josh has yearned for. Unconditional love and support. He has that now, and he’s truly worried about losing it to the life that has already taken so much from him. At least with the work that he does now, it’s still related to sports and he can dictate the hours in which he works. You’re always on call in wrestling as long as you’re in demand. What kind of life is that for two young boys who need their father to grow up with? Josh walks over and kisses Nikki’s forehead and takes her into his arms. Nikki leans her head on his chest as they meander around in a small circle, almost like a slow dance.
Josh: You’re a wonderful wife Nikki, and I’m glad that even if wrestling was an option you’d support it. But it’s not. At one point in time, I used to love wrestling, but not anymore. Is it wrong of me to protect my family from a life that destroys families? I’ve seen it many of times, to friends and enemies alike. Homes broken because of the temptations on the road or the lonely nights at home. I don’t want us to live like that.[/color]
Nikki: That’s them, not us. We’re stronger than that. I know I wouldn’t cheat if that’s what you’re worried about.[/color]
Josh: And I wouldn’t cheat either, if you were worried about that.[/color]
Nikki: Good, so what if I said wrestling was still an option?[/color]
What the did she mean wrestling was still an option? She just said it in such a matter of fact way that really doesn’t quite register with him at the moment. Did she reach out to a promotion, or vice versa? Josh separates from Nikki and has a seat on the bed. He puts both hands on the back of head and lowers his head toward his knees. Thinking about wrestling gives him a migraine sometimes, and this is one of those times. He had a tough day at the office, losing clients that were going to commit to his agency from the NFL Draft class. All because it’s been going around that he might be considering going back. The same thing that got clients interested in him is the same thing that’s costing him clients Nikki kneels down in front of her husband and starts rubbing his thighs. Josh looks down at Nikki.
Josh: Who called?[/color]
Nikki: WFWF, more specifically their GM Lila Sleater. They have a spot at SuperBrawl, and they want you to fill it. I said it was an option, one that maybe you should think about.[/color]
She knew from his meetings earlier in the week that Josh didn’t feel very confident about signing any major prospects from this year’s class. But hearing the name WFWF. Damn that name hasn’t popped up in reference to Josh’s career in a very long time. But who is this GM, probably some figurehead running their mouth while someone pulled the strings. Nevermind who she is, he doesn’t care about who called, but that doesn’t mean that he hasn’t thought about the way he left. The way his career turned out after that fateful day. Should he have stayed? What would his resume have looked like? How would he be remembered?
Nikki: This is your chance to wrestle again. And for a company that you’ve worked for previously, who is willing to meet your asking price. Not only that, but they are willing to fly you and Dr. Youngblood out for an evaluation on your neck.[/color]
Josh: You did tell them I’m retired, right?[/color]
Nikki: I, um, well… told her that I’d talk to you about it.[/color]
Josh: So, I’ll take that as a no.[/color]
Nikki: I was just thinking about you and what at the end of the day makes you happy.[/color]
Josh: Our family is what makes me happy. The fact that I can still walk makes me happy, and I’ll be damned if I lose a good life that we built because I decided to be one of those people that overstays their welcome for one more big payday.[/color]
Nikki stands up, maintaining eye contact with her husband who has yet to raise his head. She knows him, a lot better than even to this day despite being married for a year than he’ll admit. She knows he doesn’t believe that he’d be overstaying his welcome, not for a second. Reaching her hand down, she places it under his chin and lifts his head. Josh finally looks her in the eyes as her light blue eyes turn from a loving stare to a stern gaze.
Nikki: Don’t you play that broken down and over the hill card with me Josh, because I know better. When Drake originally found your stuff, I started remembering when we first got together. I remember how you used to tell me road stories. I remember when you used to watch matches with me and you got such joy in breaking down matches as they were happening. I became a wrestling fan because of you not only because of what you could do in between those ropes, but because I knew how much you loved it. It was your passion I fell in love with, and now you’ve become so damn disillusioned because of how a couple of arrogant pricks with Napoleon Complexes abused their position of power that you refuse to acknowledge that wrestling was even a part of your life![/color]
Josh: That was so I could come to terms with deciding to walk away from it all before it completely destroyed me. So I could be ok with the fact that I could separate myself from it and not be defined or depressed by it. But apparently I can’t because something is always pulling me back to it, and all this sh*t keeps rearing its ugly head! I used to think that I was doing something with my life because it wasn’t being a low life street hustler. But the truth it is I was wasting my time. I don’t understand what you want from me Nikki. Do you want me to live the rest of my life in a ing wheelchair! Do you want me to miss Hunter’s first steps, first words, first day of school? Do you want me to miss Drake graduating high school, or to explain my absence during any major life event with the same rehearsed line “Daddy went back to chase his dream.” That’s what happens in this business![/color]
Nikki: I may not be in the business, but I did marry a wrestler and been around athletes my entire life. That being said I don’t call multiple World Championships a waste of time, and I certainly don’t consider a Hall of Fame career a waste of time. So stop with the “I gave and got nothing out of this business” spiel. And did you really just ask me what I wanted from you? We’ve been married for a year and you don’t know what I want from you, are you kidding me right now? I want you to do what really makes you happy and to know that the boys and I are proud of you no matter what happens. I want you to go back to wrestling if you want to and to stop giving yourself reasons not to. If it’s due to BQWA management screwing you out of the World Title because the people who apparently mattered and called the shots had a petty grudge against you because you ran a legit show, then go to WFWF, win the World Championship and validate what you’ve known for the last twelve years, that you’re the best wrestler in the game, period![/color]
If only it were that easy. Sure WFWF was offering him a contract, a spot on the premiere card of the year no doubt against a quality opponent and even willing to double check his neck to ensure that he can take the hard hitting grinding life that wrestling is infamously known for. But what underlying motive is there? That’s the beauty of being a veteran of the business, being able to see through the bullsh*t that a promoter will tell a talent to get them to sign their life away on the dotted line. Who really wanted to take a long lasting grudge out on him? Who is it pulling the strings behind the scenes that wants to inflict some sort of “punishment” on him for doing what he thought was best for his career? Same song and dance all over again. But instead of a guy that was still young and wet behind the ears looking for a good paycheck and job security, he was retired, settled with a good family and more than wealthy enough to where he didn’t need to do this job again. But the offer was intriguing enough to at least call Lila Sleater back and hear her out. He still had his doubts, however.
Josh: I really wish that I could tell you that it was as cut and dry as what you’re describing, but it’s a little more complicated than that.[/color]
He gets up from the bed, walking toward the door leading out of the master bedroom and toward the balcony walkway that hangs over the enormous family room, where Drake is playing X-Box One on the 75 inch plasma TV. Nikki is two steps behind him, trying to understand what Josh meant about the matter being complicated. How his hand was forced to make a decision between one company or another. It’s commonplace in wrestling to work for two companies, but not so much when a wrestling company is desperate to monopolize while simultaneously undo bad business by signing a talented, loyal guy to a long term contract. That company will do whatever they can to get that guy to sign, including playing to what mattered most, his financial future.
He could see it like it happened just yesterday, walking into Veni, Vidi, Vici 2007 as the WFWF International Champion and BQWA Custom Champion. The two companies offered him contracts around the same time and Josh had a lot of things to consider when it came to this decision. He had a meeting with CBT and Reverend Shadow before the show and he knew what it was about. They needed to know how they were going to proceed with business and whether Josh would be a part of it. Both sides wanted him, but both of them also went about getting the then 20 year old to sign a different way. He can still remember the expectant look on CBT and Rev’s faces as they awaited his decision regarding his contract status. The finger pointing from CBT as Josh shakes his head trying to explain his case, holding the title low before turning around to exit the office and prepare for his match that night. With so much on his mind regarding his future, Josh lost the International Title later that night to Thunder, then disappeared.
Nikki: What’s so complicated about it? It’s not like you injured a guy in the ring there. What do think is going to happen?[/color]
Josh: Oh, I don’t know, maybe someone trying to reinjure me because of how I left back in 2007. I just don’t trust anyone that would seek me out after seven years when everyone in that industry knows that I’ve been retired. You don’t think that Lila Sleater wouldn’t give my medical report to everyone on the roster because whoever is really pulling the strings has a grudge and gave her orders to do so.[/color]
Nikki: She may or may not have an ulterior motive, but she seems willing to sign you back now to a pretty nice payday. So she has done enough research on you to have her facts pretty well in order.[/color]
Josh: She might have her facts in order, but that doesn’t mean that she runs the show. I’ve seen it too many times, the people in charge put a figurehead in place to be a buffer when talent starts getting wind of shady doings. Sure she has enough stroke to put together some matches, but that’s about it. Someone told her to find me because I’m an established name and they need buyrates for SuperBrawl.[/color]
Nikki: Josh, you’re not telling me everything. What happened in 2007, and why do you think someone is out to get you.[/color]
Josh lets out a deep sigh. This is a tough story to tell because of how it all went down. They say every company in this line of work hitches their wagon to a star, and both companies had a star on their hands. But which company would actually utilize that star’s talent’s properly? A week before Vini, Vidi, Vici Josh had a meeting with BQWA President, Big Evil after an episode of Meltdown. Big made his final sales pitch to Josh, and the internal turmoil facing his career made him furious. Furious with Big Evil to stoop as low as he would for a monopoly, furious with CBT for brushing off his struggle. His career hanging in the balance and all they both could think about was the overall bottom line, not the talent that positively affected said bottom line. He exhales as he leans on the railing. His labored exhales are that years of having to live with that choice he made in June 2007.
Josh: In June 2007, I was working for both BQWA and WFWF. I wasn’t just working for them and being another guy on the roster, I was thriving in both places. So CBT, who was the one of the owners at the time, was looking to expand the roster and give guys opportunities and he asked for ideas one day at a roster meeting. I stepped up to the plate, since I had just won the International Title, which was a big step up the ranks and so I gave my thoughts. They knew that I worked for BQWA, but I pitched the idea of a cross promotion with WFWF and BQWA. Both rosters would benefit from working with new talent and for the duration of the cross promotion, both rosters would increase. Being that I worked for both companies, I would be the centerpiece to all of this.[/color]
Nikki: Naturally, you were the only one who had connections on both sides.[/color]
Josh: Right, now this is where sh*t gets complicated. CBT thought it was a great idea and was willing to go all in with it. So I told him that I would talk to Big about it, maybe he’d get on board with the prospect of having a bigger roster to work with for a while. BQWA was in a pretty bad way, even though he didn’t want to admit it. His run as champion had just started amidst some controversy because of how long A+ held the title and the way he lost it. Jason and I had just wrapped up our program and we did big numbers for our ladder match. So at that point, I figured I was in good enough graces to pitch the idea. So I did in a roster meeting at Ignition. It largely went without comment in the meeting, so I thought that the idea was just being mulled over. I get to Meltdown late two weeks afterwards for pre-production check in because I had to drive from Sacramento to Salt Lake City after Felo de Se and I stopped in Reno for the night. I get there and Big is all over my ass as soon as he sees me.[/color]
Nikki: What’d he expect? You needed to rest.[/color]
Josh: I’m getting there, trust me. So Big starts going on this tirade about being on time for shows, and that I was being selfish for working for both places when he had been kind enough to let me come back after my incident with Fuel that past year. Basically told me right then and there that he wasn’t going to do the cross promotion because we didn’t need their help. I’m paraphrasing of course because the tirade was laced with plenty of language that Drake doesn’t need to hear. Then the ultimatum came. Make a decision and only wrestle with BQWA or be blackballed from the company.[/color]
Nikki raises her eyebrow. It had always been implied in past conversations that this man didn’t get along with Josh, but now hearing about the level of distain provided her with a little bit of a clearer picture into his loathe of the business he spent so much time with. Josh notices her intrigued and bewildered expression from his story. Despite this new information, Nikki is still staunch in attempting to get Josh back into the ring. She believes that he should for validation, but if for no other reason that selfish pleasure, she gets to see her husband in wrestling tights.
Josh: I see the look on your face babe. You’re thinking if the situation was so volatile why not just choose WFWF? The choice was very hard and I shouldn’t need to tell you that. But what I can tell you is that being blackballed from one company is career suicide. No company is going to hire a guy that’s been blackballed for “disciplinary problems”. And in the world of wrestling, word gets out quick because people like to talk. So the gun was pointed to my head and I had a tough decision to make. But to make the deal sweeter and make the decision harder, I was promised not only more money, but the push straight to the top of the card if I stayed the first time my contract extension even came up in talks. I had put in four years with BQWA at that point and was directly responsible for bringing in a lot of guys because of the matches they had seen me work with Jason, Brent, Andy, Nate and a whole host of others. I was still relatively new in WFWF, but I was gaining momentum at a rapid pace. And it wasn’t that WFWF low-balled me, because they didn’t. But I kept coming back to being blackballed from a place that I helped build and that’s what made my decision. When I told Shadow and CBT, they were disappointed but they understood, or at least Shadow did. CBT basically said I was spitting in his face after he dropped the International Title to me. But what was I supposed to do? I was getting promises with an ultimatum verses no promises, but an open door so to speak. I had to do what was right for me to ensure that my career didn’t go in the sh*tter. So I told CBT when my last day would be and that I’d drop the title on the next show, and I did.[/color]
Nikki: But they lied to you once you came back to work exclusively.[/color]
Josh: Yes, and I wish that I would’ve seen that it was an empty threat with just as empty of promises, but I was 21 at the time. All I saw was money and being a made man if I went solely with BQWA. Turns out Big and his lackeys used that as a way to bury me and laugh as they went up to the top of the card. But I was stuck, because he had his lawyers put in my new contract that if I quit, I got nothing. I was ed and it didn’t take me long to realize it, so I tried to make the best of it. And it’s not like I didn’t come away with nothing, I got really tight with Jason and I received that nice shiny glass plaque in the attic. But what always bothered me was the way that Big would dangle that carrot in front of my face because he knew that was the only reason I stayed.[/color]
Nikki: So let me get this straight. You were blackmailed into going to one place for the promise of money and job security instead of staying at a place that would’ve been better for your career in the long run.[/color]
Josh: Pretty much.[/color]
Nikki: I can see why you didn’t talk about it for so long. But remember that was seven years ago. How many of those guys do you think still work there? And you were there a short time, so if they are there, are they even gonna remember why you left?[/color]
Josh: I don’t know, and I don’t really care, I just...[/color]
Josh’s cellphone rings. He turns away from the balcony railing and pulls the cell phone out of his pocket. He looks at the screen and sees that it’s Jason. Josh shakes his head with a slight grin as he slides his thumb across the screen to accept the call from his friend and former tag team partner. He glances over his shoulder and sees Nikki smiling as she turns and walks toward the steps that lead downstairs into the family room. He puts the phone on speaker.
Josh: Jason, what’s going on sh*td*ck?![/color]
Jason: Hey hey! What’s going on face![/color]
Josh: Not much just got in from the office about 45 minutes ago? What’s good?[/color]
Jason: Drinking, smoking, getting some ladies, the usual.[/color]
Josh: So cirrhosis, cancer, and gonorrhea. Sounds like a typical day for you.[/color]
Josh starts walking toward the stairs leading to the first floor, reaching the bottom step and walks through the large family room that flows into the kitchen. Drake looks over from his game as Josh walks by him.
Jason: Something like that, so listen I’m in Atlanta for a couple days. Why don’t we head out and shoot some pool and wrap our teeth around a few brews.[/color]
Drake: Hi Uncle Jason![/color]
Jason: What’s going on big guy! You thumpin’ on your old man yet?[/color]
Drake: He taught me how to do an armbar![/color]
Jason: That’s great buddy. Hey I need to talk to your dad for a second, but I’ll come see ya while I’m in town.[/color]
Drake: Yay![/color]
Josh shakes his head with a smile on his face as he walks through the corridor leading from the kitchen into the hallway leading down to his office. He knows Jason has called for more than just to catch up, and he’s in town for more than just shooting some pool and drinking a few beers. Josh waits until he’s out of Drake’s earshot to take the phone off speaker.
Josh: That boy absolutely adores you. You know that right?[/color]
Jason: I know. So listen, Nikki called me and told me what’s going on. I know it’s kind of hard for her to understand the wrestler life because she hasn’t had to live it, so that’s why I’m in town.[/color]
Josh: Trying to talk me into coming out of retirement?[/color]
Jason: Something like that. Listen, I’m one of the few people in the world that understands what you’re feeling and we need to go to a place where you don’t have the family to think about when making this decision. So get dressed, and meet me at Edgewood’s at eight. Time to get your ass thinking logically about this.[/color]
Another person close to him trying to get him back into this life. Hard telling who else might be looking forward to Josh’s decision. At least Jason understands the life, good, bad or indifferent. If anyone could understand why Josh wants to distance himself from that life, it would be him. He sighs as he heads back toward the kitchen, where Nikki is preparing dinner. Spaghetti, Josh’s favorite.
Josh: Alright man, I’ll go. See ya there.[/color]
Jason: Cool, later.[/color]
Josh hangs up the phone and puts it back into his pocket. He walks around the island bar in the kitchen around to where Nikki is putting the noodles in the pot of boiling water, listening intently at the baby monitor that’s on the bar. Walking up behind her, Josh wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her neck. She smiles as she turns around to face him.
Nikki: So?[/color]
Josh: Well Jason is in town and wanting to go shoot some pool at Edgewood’s.[/color]
Nikki: You’re going, I hope. You do deserve a break working all week. Besides, how often is he in town?[/color]
Josh: Yeah, about that. Kind of funny that he is in town when I’m in the process of making a decision that I haven’t even mentioned to him yet.[/color]
Nikki: Hmm, yeah. Kind of interesting. Listen honey, Jason’s your best friend and has lived that life as well. Just hear what he has to say, it might make sense.[/color]
Josh: Well, I guess I better kiss the boys goodbye. They’ll both be asleep by the time I get home.[/color]
Josh kisses his wife and grabs his keys off the counter. He jogs through the hallway leading up the back steps into the master bedroom. He walks over to the nightstand and grabs his wallet before looking over into the crib standing by a small couch that is adjacent to a window. Hunter is sound asleep amongst his toys, and Josh’s face lights up at the sight of his four month old son sleeping so peacefully. The innocence that he tries so hard to protect is etched in a toothless smile that passes the baby boy’s lips. It’s the same innocence that he lost an early age that pushes him to do the right thing for his family, even though the turmoil eats at him to give it another go to the one profession he swore to leave for good despite it being what he knows. “He’ll understand when he’s older”, races through his mind as he pulls his hair back into a neat ponytail. Josh leans down and kisses his infant son, who brushes his right hand up to his face.
Josh: No matter what happens in our lives, Daddy will always love you Hunter.[/color]
He turns to walk away from his son and head back down the stairs to the first floor. He knows that if he chooses this lifestyle again, this would be a constant theme. Always leaving, his family only seeing for a couple days every month with them seeing him on TV. Nikki did bring up some good reasons as to why he should go back, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Every step he takes away from Hunter’s crib is another step he takes towards the potential return to wrestling. Talk to Jason, maybe he can help you figure out which direction to go. Down the back stairs toward the kitchen, Nikki sees Josh coming down the hallway and walks around the island bar to meet him as he walks into the kitchen. She gives him a big kiss.
Nikki: Drake, come give your dad a hug! He’s going to spend time with Uncle Jason tonight![/color]
Drake pauses his game and comes running into the kitchen. He runs body long into Josh and gives him a big bearhug around his waist. He knows that Drake looks up to him for what he used to do, but Josh has a greater want for Drake, and that is to show him how to be a man through example. Being a man, however, means making tough choices for the good of his family.
Nikki: Relax and have fun tonight. I love you.[/color]
Josh: I love you too.[/color]
Drake: I love you, dad.[/color]
Josh: I love you too, son.[/color]
Drake lets go of Josh and runs back into the family room to resume his game. Nikki gives Josh one more kiss before Josh turns and walks toward the garage, connecting to the back of the kitchen. Once he opens the door and enters the garage, Josh debates for a minute in his three car garage between the black Escalade, the red Mustang, or the orange custom racing painted Lamborghini Aventador. Considering the type of crowd that usually frequents billiard halls, he chooses the Mustang, due to it being the oldest car that he has. He hits the thob on his set of keys to unlock the car. Before walking to the car he opens the garage exit. He steps inside the car and before he puts the key into the ignition, Nikki is in the doorway holding Hunter and with Drake and tow. The wave goodbye to him as he smiles and puts the car in reverse. As he backs out of view, a tear rolls down his cheek. He knows that there will be a lot of that if he does hit the road again.
******
So, wrestling is still an option? I guess anything is possible, but even after cleaning out my closet and revealing my biggest skeletons I still can’t understand why my family wants me to pursue this profession again. Nothing is sacred when you’re a wrestler, and I’ve become quite used to my privacy. Just because I am comfortable with the public eye on me, that doesn’t mean my family will adjust to being overnight celebrities.
Why in the hell am I even considering this again? Hasn’t this career taken enough of my life already to where I’m struggling to enjoy a normal life, even after being retired for two years? Most of my colleagues are lucky to even walk by the time they turn 40, and yet could here I am 28 years old and wrestling is an option. An option, which means that a damn gun isn’t being pointed at my head anymore. I can choose to stay separated from wrestling because I have no interest in reliving the very sh*t that made my decision to walk away easier.
Jason is my best friend, and due to that friendship I owe him the chance to make his case. Maybe I’ll listen, maybe I won’t. In the end, it will be my desire and mine alone to wrestle that will determine whether or not I sign this contract.[/color]
******
Edgewood Corner Tavern
Atlanta, Georgia
7:45 PM
Pretty sure there's something therapeutic about driving, because when you're behind the wheel nothing else seems to matter. When you have a big decision to make regarding your future, sometimes taking a drive is the best way to clear your head and think about the offer in front of you logically. Logically speaking, Josh should have every reason not to go back to professional wrestling with everything that has happened over the course of his 12 year career. Still yet, the offer is truly enticing. After all, a premiere spot on the biggest card of the year on the heels of a two year retirement could warrant a big payday.
Despite being a local, he hated traveling on a Friday night through downtown Atlanta especially on I-85. But he hasn't seen Jason since the wedding, and it would be nice to catch up even though he has another motive. Merging off the exit ramp, he turns right on to and Edgewood Drive and sees the small billiard hall slightly ahead. He pulls the Mustang into the quaint parking spot along the street, turning the stereo up as he looks around for Jason’s car. He is listening to an all hip hop channel , which soothes him with the beats and creative melodies. A piano intro brings on 25 to Life by Eminem. Poetic and ironic, given his current distain for the wrestling world as everyone close to him attempts to convince him to come back. Josh closes his eyes for a moment, letting the music overtake him.
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late...
I can't keep chasing em
Josh receives his contract buyout check from FCW three months later.
I'm taking my life back
He folds up the check and puts it in his jacket pocket with a disappointed scowl.
Caught in a chase
Josh lies in a hospital bed, prepped and being wheeled back to the OR at Methodist Hospital in San Antonio, Texas.
25 to life
Dr. Lloyd Youngblood performs the cervical spinal fusion surgery on Josh’s neck, which would effectively be the catalyst to his life changing.
I don't think she understands the sacrifices that I made
Josh Dean dives through the middle and top ropes with a Suicide Dive on Bubba Anthony and Crowley on an episode of FCW Anarchy in January 2012. The dive slows down to a slow motion as contact is made with Bubba and Crowley. It’s not sure if there was a slip or out of malice, but the slow motion shows Josh taking a nasty header off the retainer wall, hitting with the side of his head and left shoulder. Josh is lying face down lifeless from the spill as Bubba hits the Keg Stand (Orange Crush) for the pin and the win for the FCW Television Championship.
Maybe if this bitch had acted right I would've stayed
After Bubba celebrates with the title, he notices his often times tag team partner and friend still lying face down on the mat on the outside of the ring. Knowing that something was wrong, he throws up the “X” signal, but referees come down to check on the Hall of Famer and help him to the back without any medical personnel coming to his aide. A barely moving mess as he comes through the curtain, referees escort Josh to the trainer’s room. Trainers and FCW doctors examine the Hall of Famer. New FCW owner Neff Malone walks past the trainer’s room. He doesn’t even stop to look inside to check on the popular veteran, despite watching the show on a closed circuit monitor in his office and being well aware of what just happened.
But I've already wasted over half of my life I would've laid
Josh, having shorter hair than people are used to seeing him with, takes his BQWA Tag Team Title and throws it against a locker after a house show in 2010, frustration with his current place on the card evident because he was toiling in purgatory despite the talent he displayed for his craft and dedication he showed for the company.
Down and died for you I no longer cry for you
Josh walks down the aisle in as a clean cut, excited 16 year old kid in 2002 as UWF World Heavyweight Champion at Greed, Hate, Envy 2002, the beginning of a long and tumultuous journey. Now suddenly Josh is 25 in early 2011, scruffier, not having the same fire in his eyes as even two years prior. Josh sits on the top rope as he looks on in disgust as Ronnie McNeil enters the ring at FCW Immortality in late 2011.
No more pain bitch you
Josh is in the post op room after his neck surgery. He looks relieved at the success of the operation. The look in his eyes seems reinvigorated after all the years of sh*t he went through that dimmed that fire he once had. Rehabilitation is welcome to him so he could back to the ring quickly.
Took me for granted took my heart and ran it straight into the planet
Josh has Fuel lying on the ground and wielding a steel pipe during a scuffle at the RX Mansion in 2006 after Fuel trespassed on his property and vandalized his car after an episode of Meltdown while he was part owner of BQWA. It was often thought of as the night that his career took a major turn for the worst.
Into the dirt I can no longer stand it
A random house show in 2006, Josh is walking through the backstage area looking for wrestlers scheduled to appear and finding nothing. He slams his hand into a wall out of anger, knowing full well that the roster was trying to sabotage the company to get him removed from his position.
Now my respect I demand it
A cell phone shatters against a wall after a phone call in April 2007. Josh has just had the proverbial gun pointed to his head, with his legacy hanging in the balance.
Imma take control of this relationship
Two contracts sit on the table as Josh stands over them in mid-2007, one from BQWA and one from WFWF. Two different roads with two different potential outcomes. He signs one of the contracts, combs back his long, this time blonde hair with his fingers and walks away shaking his head.
Command it, and imma be the boss of you now god damnit!
Always outspoken, Josh goes nose to nose in backstage shouting matches with UWF Owner Perry Smith, BQWA President Big Evil, VGW GM Frankie Lorenzo, FCW Owner Neff Malone and then-WFWF Owner The CBT.
And what I mean is that I will no longer let you control me
Josh soars through the air in a 2005 BQWA match with Nature with a no hand somersault plancha.
So you better hear me out this much you owe me
Josh levels seven footer Silas Stevens with a beautiful standing dropkick during a BQWA Meltdown match in late 2009 before popping up and adapting his spread arm pose with a primal scream simultaneously, showcasing his athleticism and intensity. 2012 rolls by and Josh lies on the ground at Atlanta Sport and Spine, clutching his left knee. Trying to be strong, he can’t help but slam his fist into the ground and scream. He knew immediately it was blown.
I gave up my life for you, totally devoted to you while I've stayed
Interstate and lots of it through the vantage point of the inside of a vehicle. The white center lines of three and four lane roads pass rapidly through Atlanta, Knoxville, Lexington, D.C., Boston, New York, Cleveland, Detroit, Indianapolis as the signs come and go just as quickly. Life on the road leaves no time to get comfortable in place for too long.
Faithful all the way this is how I ing get repaid
New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Omaha, St. Louis Chicago all pass through rapidly as the white center lines of the interstate leading in and out of these cities pass in a blur, leading to Denver, Salt Lake City, Vegas, San Diego, L.A., Oakland, Sacramento, Portland, and Seattle.
Look at how I dress ing baggy sweats, go to work a mess
It’s November 2008 and Josh is slumped over in an alleyway, just a torn hoodie covering his black T-Shirt. His jeans are tattered and torn throughout. His Timberland boots are worn and scuffed. It’s truly a rock bottom situation after being indefinitely suspended by BQWA for a disparaging interview he gave about the way things were ran.
Always in a rush to get back to you I ain't heard you yet
Hurriedly, Josh packs his clothes into a suitcase inside for yet another trip in 2009 at his Atlanta home. He is late for a flight to an overseas tour, pissed at himself that he overslept his alarm clock, which reads 5:30am as he passes by the nightstand on the way out of his room.
Not even once say you appreciate me….
His phone rings, stopping the music as it is attached to the dashboard. Los Angeles area code appears, and he knows exactly who is. He chooses to accept the call, just to see if there’s anything he’s not being told.
Josh: Hello?[/color]
Sleater: Hi Josh, this is Lila Sleater from WFWF calling to follow-up with you about the contract offer we have in place for you for SuperBrawl.[/color]
Josh: Yeah, about that. When are you people going to understand that I’m retired? I have no interest in what you have to say about this contract. So I suggest you get to your point, make your pitch, or stop wasting my Friday night.[/color]
Sleater: So you’re going to sit here and turn down a contract that will have you swimming in the money by the time you’re 35? You still have name value, but that name value is only good when people still want to see you perform.[/color]
Josh: Try telling that to the idiots that mismanaged my career. If I was only half as talented as I am, then we might have some talk about. I’m not about to risk my long-term health because some bunghole pulling the strings, treating you like a puppet, wants to make me pay because I left in 2007.[/color]
Sleater: I’m well aware of the contract dispute you had 2007, but I assure you that we are a much more professionally ran company now. And WFWF has always had an open door return policy for former talent. We’ve also got your medical records, and are willing to fly you and your physician out to our LA training facility for evaluation on your neck before you ever sign the contract.[/color]
These kinds of negotiations always hit a stalling point, and after managing his contract situation for the majority of his career Josh knows that Miss Sleater is running out of options to convince him. Somebody must want him to come out of retirement very badly. He smirks.
Josh: I assume you gave the same sales pitch to my wife when she first brought this up, because it’s sounding very similar to what she told me.[/color]
Sleater: SuperBrawl is still a month away, so you don’t have to make a decision now. But please think about it, and will see you in LA next week for the evaluation. What do you really have to lose? It’s in your court, and you owe it to yourself to look into it.[/color]
Sleater hangs up the phone and music starts playing again. Suddenly, Josh gets a knock on his window. He glances to the outside of the window and sees Jason standing there with a big smile on his face.
Jason: Let’s go bitch![/color]
Josh shuts the ignition off and steps out of the car, embracing his best friend with a hug. The two men enter the cozy little bar and look around at the patrons sitting at the bar, some enjoying the Friday Night Special of 6 dollar crab legs and pitcher after pitcher of draft beer. Jason walks over the bartender as Josh stays behind, surveying the surroundings. He spots a corner table open and heads toward it. Since the tables are pay by hour, it is a good way to save money in the long run as opposed to quarter tables.
Jason: Yeah can I get two orders of the crab leg special, two orders of hot wings and six pitchers of beer, Yuengling? Thank ya.[/color]
Jason lays down a hundred dollar bill at the bartender and motions for him to keep the beer coming. The bartender nods in acknowledgement as Jason walks back to the corner table where Josh has already racked the table and is checking for the highest quality house cue. Being that this is an upper scale place, you can’t go wrong with any of them. Jason grabs a cue off the stand and lines the cue ball up. A smooth stroke sends the ball blistering toward the opposite end, careening the balls throughout the table. Josh immediately steps up to the table and measures his shot before sending the three and one balls into the corner pocket with one combo. Jason takes a seat.
Jason: So are you going to tell me where your head is with this whole contract situation?[/color]
Josh: I don’t know man. Nikki and the kids want me to go back to wrestling, even though I’ve told them some of the details about wrestling’s rotten underbelly.[/color]
Five ball, side pocket. The bartender starts bringing out the beer pitchers with frosted mugs. Jason pours both mugs full of beer and hands one to Josh as he comes around the wall side corner of the table. Josh tips the mug up and begins to drink.
Jason: You’ve got to consider yourself lucky that you have a wife that is willing to support a potential career change.[/color]
Josh: That part is pretty cool, I’m not going to lie to you about that. It’s more of a lack of desire to do this again.[/color]
Jason: And what exactly is the alternative? Gladhanding some spoiled little college punk, treating him like he’s ing Spanish Fly. Come on man, you know you’re not happy doing that. So BQWA dealt you a sh*tty hand and you walked away from a good situation. If it were me, I would’ve been worried about being blackballed from WFWF.[/color]
Josh: Time heals the wounds as they say.[/color]
Jason: Damn skippy. Josh, it’s been seven years since you’ve worked for this company and yet they still want to welcome you back with open arms, catered flights to a medical evaluation to make sure your neck isn’t jacked beyond repair, and not mention more money than you know what to do with. Where’s the downside?[/color]
Four ball, top right hand corner. Jason takes a drink from the pitcher of beer as Josh quickly knocks the two ball into the side pocket. The ball caroms of the rail, setting up a straight in shot on the six ball, easy pickings. Even though he’s concentrating on the game, Josh is really trying to listen to Jason’s logic here. He does make a lot of sense about the lack of downside to the offer he’s received.
Josh: My legacy’s intact Jason, and I’ve done everything there is to do in this line of work. What if I can’t do what I used to be able to do and I ruin what I spent 12 years building?[/color]
Jason: There’s no way you can ruin yourself. Have you even watched any wrestling shows recently? This place is in as bad of shape as Big left BQWA when it closed down. The only thing that kept BQWA alive the last year it was business is because of what you and I were doing? We were stuck with nothing to do, so we made whatever time we got the most entertaining, highest quality piece of the product. That’s what this company is missing, a guy like you who gives a sh*t. And I have a feeling that based on what I saw on the last show you won’t be alone in that way of thinking.[/color]
Since he isn’t going to get to shoot and is going to be sitting there at the table drinking while stuffing his face, Jason decides to give Josh a little present, which is a big reason why he’s made this trip to Atlanta. Out of his leather jacket, he pulls out a manila folder and he motions for Josh to come over.
Jason: You were the one that taught me to do my homework, so I did some homework for you. Based off what I’m seeing, here is a profile on the guy they may want to match you with.[/color]
Josh takes the manila folder and opens it. After pulling the contents out, he spreads them across the table begins to study.
David Brennan.
Who?
Yeah, he probably feels the same way. Both men looking at this match as a way to reintroduce themselves to the masses, or maybe as a way to keep their legacies enduring. Maybe, just maybe, this is a way of showing that change can only be done in battle.
******
I would say that one’s legacy in wrestling is safe because it will always be hallowed throughout the annals of time. But who am I ing kidding? Twelve years in this sport felt more like a life prison sentence than an enjoyable career with the way almost every management system I’ve ever worked for has treated me. I’ve lost everything close to me because of this profession, including but not limited to my house, my friends, what I thought was love, the people that took me in as family. POOF! Gone because of decisions I made, and also because of jealous sycophants aiding that fall. I’ve managed to gain it all back and then some because of those early experiences that made me wise up.
I can speak more candidly about the wrestling business because I have been away for so long, and don’t have that same gun pointed to my head on a daily basis. The one where management holds job security over my head due to my loyalty to a brand that I built, but yet I couldn’t voice my concerns about how it was ran out of fear of being blackballed. Unlike a lot of people I know in the business, there weren’t many options outside of wrestling for a long time. I had to quit high school as a junior because I had to worry about finding a place to lay my head. I was the definition of a vagabond, sleeping on whoever was kind enough to let borrow their couch until I saved enough money to buy my own house. So when I finally signed on with a big promotion in 2003, I swore that I would bust my ass to give myself the life that I never got as a kid.
I sacrificed my life, at times my dignity and my code of respect for this business to make a good living and to be known by the masses.
Two years removed from my retirement announcement, how many of these fickle fans actually remember me? How many of them remember the death and logic defying things that I used to do in between those ropes for the last decade? The things that I can still do, better than anyone else in the world! How much of that will go unappreciated five years down the road, ten years? I gave and gave and gave to these leeches, and all they did was take without giving a damn thing back to me!
Let’s set the f*cking record straight while we’re on the subject, what more did I have to accomplish in wrestling? That’s why I left! Because I had no more mountains to climb except the mountains I wanted to climb. And the backstage bullcrap wasn’t worth it anymore. It was old in 2006, and now it’s just pathetic how much a wrestling show is dictated by people’s agendas. Until a promotion is able to prove me wrong and the best is really able to take their rightful place at the top of the card without some angle, then you won’t see me in a wrestling ring no matter if I’m cleared by Youngblood next week.
I know why Nikki did what she did, and I don’t know whether to be mad or happy. I like my agency and I’m glad that I’m passing on knowledge I learned the hard way to up and coming athletes. But I’ll be honest, it doesn’t provide me the same sense of worth that wrestling did unfortunately. With this agency, I’m doing a noble profession, but I’m typecast as another sleazy agent. And the athletes I’m trying to sign to my agency are a bunch of spoiled b*tches anyway. I should know, because once upon a time, I was a spoiled brat myself. But as much as I despise what wrestling made me become while I was an active competitor, at least there I was someone, I was the ultra-athletic, uber talented Josh Dean. The self-made legend who talked sh*t, kicked ass then asked questions.
Or at least I once was. Who knows, maybe I still am. I really don’t want to expose them to this life, but everything keeps coming back to this God forsaken profession!
I don’t know why my family insists on me going back. And for the first time in my life, I really care about the answer. God, forgive me for becoming the monster that I know that I’m going to have to become.[/color]
*******
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Los Angeles, California
Jason: You ready for this?[/color]
Josh: Ready as I’ll ever be.[/color]
Jason and Josh are sitting in the locker room of the WFWF training facility, as both of them are preparing for Josh’s medical evaluation. Simply put, this would determine wether or not Josh will be cleared to return to the ring. A simple MRI would be able to diagnose the structure of Josh’s neck, but at the request of WFWF GM Lila Sleater, Josh would work a short match to assess how his neck would hold up to the pounding that taking bumps can take on the human spinal column.
He had been talked into taking the offer, after all, his draft class prospects all went with another agent. That’s the wire in the agent world. As it is in the sporting world, news travels fast and it hurts the chances of signing a client when they get wind that their agent might be changing careers. It’s not like he needed the money, but Josh has always been a person who didn't like to sit still. That's why he decided to accept the offer for them to have a medical evaluation. What the hell is the worst thing that can happen?
How does Jason fit into all of this? Very simply the fact that he is a wrestler himself. Josh wouldn’t trust himself with anyone else for a match that could be very well dictate the course of the next 10 years for him. He is his best friend, former tag team partner and his biggest rival, willing to help him to no end to see him on the course back to the top of the mountain.
Five minutes pass, along with a long slow walk to the ring by both men. Lila Sleater and Dr. Youngblood are present on the outside of the ring. Josh and Jason are running the ropes, getting warmed up for an evaluation match that could get heated from the competitive fires very quickly.
Dr. Youngblood: Ok, so here’s what we’re doing. You guys are going to wrestle a one fall exhibition match. I’ll be taking note of the bumps that you take before we do the MRI on your neck. Sound good, Josh.[/color]
Josh: Yeah, let’s do this.[/color]
Josh and Jason bump knuckles before circling the ring, sizing each other up. They lock up, collar and elbow. There is a quick jockey for position before Josh drops down and snaps off the arm drag. Jason rolls to his feet and Josh is right there to pick the ankle and take him to the ground. Pin attempt is immediately kicked out of by Jason, only for Josh to circle and take the back. He fishes for the rear naked choke, but Jason defends and Josh transitions to a straight armbar. Jason stacks, and escapes. Josh kips up to his feet and they lock up once again. It’s Jason, who enjoys a slight size advantage who takes Josh into the corner. Clean break and Jason pops Josh’s chest with a knife hand chop. Josh fires back with a brutal knife edge chop and Jason turns away, looking for room to recover. Josh charges in behind him with a scooping low roundhouse kick that takes Jason up into the air and flat onto his back!
Josh grabs the arm of Jason and uses it to arm wringer him up to the feet, only for Jason to reverse and arm wringer Josh. Josh spins to the ropes and uses the momentum to back flip out of the arm wringer and spin behind Jason, lifting him up and powering him down with a high angle back suplex! Josh hooks the legs for a pin attempt,
1….
2….
Jason kicks out, which allows Josh to fish an arm underneath Jason’s armpit and look for a D’Arce Choke. Jason grabs the wrist and spins out into an arm wringer, planting Josh face first on the mat. Josh shakes the cobwebs out momentarily before Jason looks for an O’Connor roll, no Jason stacks Josh up and turns him over looking for the Perfect Storm (Lion Tamer). Josh spins over to his back and gets a leg free, using it to pry from out of Jason’s grip. Josh scrambles to his feet and Jason charges in, catching Josh with a hard hitting clothesline to the head and neck.
Jason: You better get your head in the game, otherwise this Brennan guy is going to kill you at SuperBrawl!
Josh takes a second to stand up, glancing over to see Dr. Youngblood taking copious notes of the action at hand. Jason charges over and hits Josh with a big clubbing blow to the back. Josh arches his back in pain as he grabs toward his neck. Jason looks for a swinging neckbreaker, only for Josh to counter and drill Jason with the Headcheck (Hammerlock Hook Kick). Jason sprawls out of the ring and Josh looks around as Sleater is on the edge of her seat. What seems like an eternity passes as Josh hits off the ropes, charging at Jason. The internal struggle is at a fever pitch.
Don’t do it. This is what ended your career!
THIS WILL NOT DEFINE ME!!
Josh dives through the second and top rope and crashes into Jason full force with the very suicide dive that ended his career! Josh stands up and feels his neck. He’s fine! Grabbing Jason by the head, he tosses him into the ring and hops onto the ring apron. Realizing that his worst fear has been vanquished, he realized what he was born to do. Josh grabs the top rope as Jason gets to his feet. Springboarding to the top rope, Josh hops off and connects with a beautiful flying clothesline! Jason pops back to his feet, charging at Josh. Josh kicks the front leg out and Jason falls into the Michael Jai White! Wrapping Jason immediately up after the knee to the face, he lifts Jason vertically and hits the Nail in the Coffin (Falcon Arrow). Cover!
1…
2…
Jason kicks out.
Josh motions for the Bankrupt, Jason has it scouted with a jawbreaker! Josh’s head snaps back as Jason comes in, only to be caught off guard with a Snap Powerslam! As Jason arches his back in pain, Josh picks him up to his feet and lifts him up for the Chapter 11, but Jason cuts him off with elbows to the side of the head. Jason runs off the ropes and Josh is there to meet him in the ropes with a flying knee to the jaw! Jason is on dream street, but still fighting. Josh steps inside a Jason punch and locks him up for the Uranage, but Jason floats out of the back. Josh steps behind and quickly wraps him up for the Bankrupt! Cover,
1…
2…
3…
Josh pops up and grabs Jason up from the mat and hugs him as Jason hugs him back. Lila Sleater has just entered the ring with the contract. The moment of truth, the newfound clarity or the jaded thoughts of old.
Sleater: Very impressive, and like promised, here is a contract that will make you a very rich man. Well richer than you already are.[/color]
Sleater hands Josh the contract with a pen. The contract has already been flipped to the back page. Josh takes a look at the contract and signs it. He’s finally home, unretired and ready to show why he is the premiere athlete in the business once again.
*******
I'll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds
Just to see what we find
Look at crap through each other's eyes
But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful, oh
They can all get ed.
Just stay true to you
David Brennan, the first opponent back after my retirement. I don’t know you, but rest assured friend we’ll get acquainted very quickly. They say that there are two sides to the story and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Now I read the hype promo that our wonderful general managers and owners put in to sell this as a grudge match.
This isn’t a grudge match David, in fact it couldn’t be further from it because I like what you’re about. You seem to be a straight shooter and I can respect that, but I too am a straight shooter so it’s the least I can do for a guy that was so, so hyped to be “the guy” to be completely honest.
I decided to come out of retirement because a wise man once told me to leave any endeavor you set your mind to in better shape than you left it. Well, after watching Revolution recently and seeing what a pile of sh*t a once respectable company had turned into, I realized that I hadn’t quite done that yet. That’s why the way my career initially ended really bothered me and it ate me up inside that I was working a job that I hated so that I could separate myself from what I was put on this earth to do!
But I digress, because I seem to be getting ahead of myself here. Reading a man’s profile and seeing them run their mouth in the ring doesn’t quite do that man justice, and I must say that you are a very worthy adversary. But let me see if I can walk a mile in your shoes for a moment just to see if I have a peg on you. I guarantee that you and I aren’t very different.
You had a rough upbringing with a overbearing dad who may or may not have been involved with criminal activity, correct? Been there, done that. You used wrestling as an outlet to become better than the way you were raised, correct? Two for two. And you aspired to come back to this place to live up to your promise that you were the man in waiting.
No, did I miss that? Hmm, then why in the hell are you coming back if it isn’t for the sole purpose to win the World Title and validate why you got into this profession. Until you can figure that out for yourself, then you’re going to have a major problem standing across from you at SuperBrawl. You will have the best wrestler in this business kicking your ass courtesy of his punches, kicks, knees and elbows, topping the beating off with a size 13 with my name on so you can’t forget it. Do I have a goal of winning the World Heavyweight Championship? Yes I do, otherwise I would’ve stayed in Atlanta, running my business and being a husband and a better father to my children than mine and yours was to us.
Let me ask you a serious question for a minute David? Did you think I came here to lose to you. Did you think that I left my family to fly to LA and get my neck checked out so I could lose to the third wheel in the Kyzer and Drakz show. Yeah they may have dubbed you the man in waiting, but that only meant they would keep you waiting to take a spot at the top until they got sick of being on top. Maybe that’s why you all of a sudden had this clarity to come back and right the wrongs with this company because you realized just exactly what you were to them that took you to Scars and Stripes. When I was here, I didn’t need anyone holding my damn hand to win the New Breed Tournament and the International Title. And that’s where we differ, and that’s what will be the difference at SuperBrawl.
Afterwards, maybe you’ll see that I’ve walked a mile in your shoes. Only I didn’t let my shoes define me. [/color]
Everybody has a private world where they can be alone
Are you calling me? Are you trying to get through?
Are you reaching out for me, like I'm reaching out for you?
Atlanta, Georgia
March 25, 2014
6:00 PM
Josh: Drake found all my wrestling stuff.[/color][/font]
Nikki: I know. I found him in the attic two weeks ago while you were at work. He was looking at it then as well.[/color][/font]
He thought when he finally came clean about his wrestling career to his eight year old son, because being honest he is that boy’s dad. He thought he would get a generalized “Oh cool” response before Drake went back into the obsession of the week, generally some video game that he saw on TV or that he looked up on YouTube. But now, it seems that wrestling has become his new obsession. Every day when Josh comes home from the office, Drake is full of questions about different wrestling moves that he saw on tapes that Josh kept from his career. The hardest part is telling him about these moments and answering all these questions, because of the memories it brought back. Sure some were good, but a lot of them left a sour taste in his mouth. His sudden silence speaks volumes of how uncomfortable talking about wrestling makes him.
Nikki can sense it, even though she isn’t looking directly at Josh. She is changing the baby on their massive bed in the master bedroom. She has a towel down under Hunter to prevent any accidents and extra laundry, which was in the drier in the laundry room downstairs. Josh is changing out of his suit into something more comfortable, in this case a pair of loose fitting carpenter style jeans and a black Under Armour shirt. He walks over, pulling his shirt over his head, smiling at his four month old son. Hunter returns the smile as Nikki picks him and puts him down in the crib stomach first around a plethora of toys. Because his house is rather large and both Josh and Nikki are pretty sound sleepers for the most part, Hunter’s crib is in their master bedroom so it’s easier to keep an ear out for him. Ah, parenthood, one of the joys of not being out on the road.
Nikki: I’m not going to lie to Drake, Josh. There’s really no point in that. And besides, you have to think it’s pretty awesome that your son wants to be like you even more after finding out that you used to wrestle.[/color]
Josh: It’s pretty cool, but I don’t want Drake to think that wrestling is as it seems on TV. There’s a lot of sh*t that happens, a lot of sordid things that you don’t see. I want to protect you, him, and Hunter from that life because that life doesn’t fare well on the family life.[/color]
Nikki: Josh, you’re my husband. And what the hell kind of wife would I be if I didn’t support what you really love to do?[/color]
Support. It’s always been what Josh has yearned for. Unconditional love and support. He has that now, and he’s truly worried about losing it to the life that has already taken so much from him. At least with the work that he does now, it’s still related to sports and he can dictate the hours in which he works. You’re always on call in wrestling as long as you’re in demand. What kind of life is that for two young boys who need their father to grow up with? Josh walks over and kisses Nikki’s forehead and takes her into his arms. Nikki leans her head on his chest as they meander around in a small circle, almost like a slow dance.
Josh: You’re a wonderful wife Nikki, and I’m glad that even if wrestling was an option you’d support it. But it’s not. At one point in time, I used to love wrestling, but not anymore. Is it wrong of me to protect my family from a life that destroys families? I’ve seen it many of times, to friends and enemies alike. Homes broken because of the temptations on the road or the lonely nights at home. I don’t want us to live like that.[/color]
Nikki: That’s them, not us. We’re stronger than that. I know I wouldn’t cheat if that’s what you’re worried about.[/color]
Josh: And I wouldn’t cheat either, if you were worried about that.[/color]
Nikki: Good, so what if I said wrestling was still an option?[/color]
What the did she mean wrestling was still an option? She just said it in such a matter of fact way that really doesn’t quite register with him at the moment. Did she reach out to a promotion, or vice versa? Josh separates from Nikki and has a seat on the bed. He puts both hands on the back of head and lowers his head toward his knees. Thinking about wrestling gives him a migraine sometimes, and this is one of those times. He had a tough day at the office, losing clients that were going to commit to his agency from the NFL Draft class. All because it’s been going around that he might be considering going back. The same thing that got clients interested in him is the same thing that’s costing him clients Nikki kneels down in front of her husband and starts rubbing his thighs. Josh looks down at Nikki.
Josh: Who called?[/color]
Nikki: WFWF, more specifically their GM Lila Sleater. They have a spot at SuperBrawl, and they want you to fill it. I said it was an option, one that maybe you should think about.[/color]
She knew from his meetings earlier in the week that Josh didn’t feel very confident about signing any major prospects from this year’s class. But hearing the name WFWF. Damn that name hasn’t popped up in reference to Josh’s career in a very long time. But who is this GM, probably some figurehead running their mouth while someone pulled the strings. Nevermind who she is, he doesn’t care about who called, but that doesn’t mean that he hasn’t thought about the way he left. The way his career turned out after that fateful day. Should he have stayed? What would his resume have looked like? How would he be remembered?
Nikki: This is your chance to wrestle again. And for a company that you’ve worked for previously, who is willing to meet your asking price. Not only that, but they are willing to fly you and Dr. Youngblood out for an evaluation on your neck.[/color]
Josh: You did tell them I’m retired, right?[/color]
Nikki: I, um, well… told her that I’d talk to you about it.[/color]
Josh: So, I’ll take that as a no.[/color]
Nikki: I was just thinking about you and what at the end of the day makes you happy.[/color]
Josh: Our family is what makes me happy. The fact that I can still walk makes me happy, and I’ll be damned if I lose a good life that we built because I decided to be one of those people that overstays their welcome for one more big payday.[/color]
Nikki stands up, maintaining eye contact with her husband who has yet to raise his head. She knows him, a lot better than even to this day despite being married for a year than he’ll admit. She knows he doesn’t believe that he’d be overstaying his welcome, not for a second. Reaching her hand down, she places it under his chin and lifts his head. Josh finally looks her in the eyes as her light blue eyes turn from a loving stare to a stern gaze.
Nikki: Don’t you play that broken down and over the hill card with me Josh, because I know better. When Drake originally found your stuff, I started remembering when we first got together. I remember how you used to tell me road stories. I remember when you used to watch matches with me and you got such joy in breaking down matches as they were happening. I became a wrestling fan because of you not only because of what you could do in between those ropes, but because I knew how much you loved it. It was your passion I fell in love with, and now you’ve become so damn disillusioned because of how a couple of arrogant pricks with Napoleon Complexes abused their position of power that you refuse to acknowledge that wrestling was even a part of your life![/color]
Josh: That was so I could come to terms with deciding to walk away from it all before it completely destroyed me. So I could be ok with the fact that I could separate myself from it and not be defined or depressed by it. But apparently I can’t because something is always pulling me back to it, and all this sh*t keeps rearing its ugly head! I used to think that I was doing something with my life because it wasn’t being a low life street hustler. But the truth it is I was wasting my time. I don’t understand what you want from me Nikki. Do you want me to live the rest of my life in a ing wheelchair! Do you want me to miss Hunter’s first steps, first words, first day of school? Do you want me to miss Drake graduating high school, or to explain my absence during any major life event with the same rehearsed line “Daddy went back to chase his dream.” That’s what happens in this business![/color]
Nikki: I may not be in the business, but I did marry a wrestler and been around athletes my entire life. That being said I don’t call multiple World Championships a waste of time, and I certainly don’t consider a Hall of Fame career a waste of time. So stop with the “I gave and got nothing out of this business” spiel. And did you really just ask me what I wanted from you? We’ve been married for a year and you don’t know what I want from you, are you kidding me right now? I want you to do what really makes you happy and to know that the boys and I are proud of you no matter what happens. I want you to go back to wrestling if you want to and to stop giving yourself reasons not to. If it’s due to BQWA management screwing you out of the World Title because the people who apparently mattered and called the shots had a petty grudge against you because you ran a legit show, then go to WFWF, win the World Championship and validate what you’ve known for the last twelve years, that you’re the best wrestler in the game, period![/color]
If only it were that easy. Sure WFWF was offering him a contract, a spot on the premiere card of the year no doubt against a quality opponent and even willing to double check his neck to ensure that he can take the hard hitting grinding life that wrestling is infamously known for. But what underlying motive is there? That’s the beauty of being a veteran of the business, being able to see through the bullsh*t that a promoter will tell a talent to get them to sign their life away on the dotted line. Who really wanted to take a long lasting grudge out on him? Who is it pulling the strings behind the scenes that wants to inflict some sort of “punishment” on him for doing what he thought was best for his career? Same song and dance all over again. But instead of a guy that was still young and wet behind the ears looking for a good paycheck and job security, he was retired, settled with a good family and more than wealthy enough to where he didn’t need to do this job again. But the offer was intriguing enough to at least call Lila Sleater back and hear her out. He still had his doubts, however.
Josh: I really wish that I could tell you that it was as cut and dry as what you’re describing, but it’s a little more complicated than that.[/color]
He gets up from the bed, walking toward the door leading out of the master bedroom and toward the balcony walkway that hangs over the enormous family room, where Drake is playing X-Box One on the 75 inch plasma TV. Nikki is two steps behind him, trying to understand what Josh meant about the matter being complicated. How his hand was forced to make a decision between one company or another. It’s commonplace in wrestling to work for two companies, but not so much when a wrestling company is desperate to monopolize while simultaneously undo bad business by signing a talented, loyal guy to a long term contract. That company will do whatever they can to get that guy to sign, including playing to what mattered most, his financial future.
He could see it like it happened just yesterday, walking into Veni, Vidi, Vici 2007 as the WFWF International Champion and BQWA Custom Champion. The two companies offered him contracts around the same time and Josh had a lot of things to consider when it came to this decision. He had a meeting with CBT and Reverend Shadow before the show and he knew what it was about. They needed to know how they were going to proceed with business and whether Josh would be a part of it. Both sides wanted him, but both of them also went about getting the then 20 year old to sign a different way. He can still remember the expectant look on CBT and Rev’s faces as they awaited his decision regarding his contract status. The finger pointing from CBT as Josh shakes his head trying to explain his case, holding the title low before turning around to exit the office and prepare for his match that night. With so much on his mind regarding his future, Josh lost the International Title later that night to Thunder, then disappeared.
Nikki: What’s so complicated about it? It’s not like you injured a guy in the ring there. What do think is going to happen?[/color]
Josh: Oh, I don’t know, maybe someone trying to reinjure me because of how I left back in 2007. I just don’t trust anyone that would seek me out after seven years when everyone in that industry knows that I’ve been retired. You don’t think that Lila Sleater wouldn’t give my medical report to everyone on the roster because whoever is really pulling the strings has a grudge and gave her orders to do so.[/color]
Nikki: She may or may not have an ulterior motive, but she seems willing to sign you back now to a pretty nice payday. So she has done enough research on you to have her facts pretty well in order.[/color]
Josh: She might have her facts in order, but that doesn’t mean that she runs the show. I’ve seen it too many times, the people in charge put a figurehead in place to be a buffer when talent starts getting wind of shady doings. Sure she has enough stroke to put together some matches, but that’s about it. Someone told her to find me because I’m an established name and they need buyrates for SuperBrawl.[/color]
Nikki: Josh, you’re not telling me everything. What happened in 2007, and why do you think someone is out to get you.[/color]
Josh lets out a deep sigh. This is a tough story to tell because of how it all went down. They say every company in this line of work hitches their wagon to a star, and both companies had a star on their hands. But which company would actually utilize that star’s talent’s properly? A week before Vini, Vidi, Vici Josh had a meeting with BQWA President, Big Evil after an episode of Meltdown. Big made his final sales pitch to Josh, and the internal turmoil facing his career made him furious. Furious with Big Evil to stoop as low as he would for a monopoly, furious with CBT for brushing off his struggle. His career hanging in the balance and all they both could think about was the overall bottom line, not the talent that positively affected said bottom line. He exhales as he leans on the railing. His labored exhales are that years of having to live with that choice he made in June 2007.
Josh: In June 2007, I was working for both BQWA and WFWF. I wasn’t just working for them and being another guy on the roster, I was thriving in both places. So CBT, who was the one of the owners at the time, was looking to expand the roster and give guys opportunities and he asked for ideas one day at a roster meeting. I stepped up to the plate, since I had just won the International Title, which was a big step up the ranks and so I gave my thoughts. They knew that I worked for BQWA, but I pitched the idea of a cross promotion with WFWF and BQWA. Both rosters would benefit from working with new talent and for the duration of the cross promotion, both rosters would increase. Being that I worked for both companies, I would be the centerpiece to all of this.[/color]
Nikki: Naturally, you were the only one who had connections on both sides.[/color]
Josh: Right, now this is where sh*t gets complicated. CBT thought it was a great idea and was willing to go all in with it. So I told him that I would talk to Big about it, maybe he’d get on board with the prospect of having a bigger roster to work with for a while. BQWA was in a pretty bad way, even though he didn’t want to admit it. His run as champion had just started amidst some controversy because of how long A+ held the title and the way he lost it. Jason and I had just wrapped up our program and we did big numbers for our ladder match. So at that point, I figured I was in good enough graces to pitch the idea. So I did in a roster meeting at Ignition. It largely went without comment in the meeting, so I thought that the idea was just being mulled over. I get to Meltdown late two weeks afterwards for pre-production check in because I had to drive from Sacramento to Salt Lake City after Felo de Se and I stopped in Reno for the night. I get there and Big is all over my ass as soon as he sees me.[/color]
Nikki: What’d he expect? You needed to rest.[/color]
Josh: I’m getting there, trust me. So Big starts going on this tirade about being on time for shows, and that I was being selfish for working for both places when he had been kind enough to let me come back after my incident with Fuel that past year. Basically told me right then and there that he wasn’t going to do the cross promotion because we didn’t need their help. I’m paraphrasing of course because the tirade was laced with plenty of language that Drake doesn’t need to hear. Then the ultimatum came. Make a decision and only wrestle with BQWA or be blackballed from the company.[/color]
Nikki raises her eyebrow. It had always been implied in past conversations that this man didn’t get along with Josh, but now hearing about the level of distain provided her with a little bit of a clearer picture into his loathe of the business he spent so much time with. Josh notices her intrigued and bewildered expression from his story. Despite this new information, Nikki is still staunch in attempting to get Josh back into the ring. She believes that he should for validation, but if for no other reason that selfish pleasure, she gets to see her husband in wrestling tights.
Josh: I see the look on your face babe. You’re thinking if the situation was so volatile why not just choose WFWF? The choice was very hard and I shouldn’t need to tell you that. But what I can tell you is that being blackballed from one company is career suicide. No company is going to hire a guy that’s been blackballed for “disciplinary problems”. And in the world of wrestling, word gets out quick because people like to talk. So the gun was pointed to my head and I had a tough decision to make. But to make the deal sweeter and make the decision harder, I was promised not only more money, but the push straight to the top of the card if I stayed the first time my contract extension even came up in talks. I had put in four years with BQWA at that point and was directly responsible for bringing in a lot of guys because of the matches they had seen me work with Jason, Brent, Andy, Nate and a whole host of others. I was still relatively new in WFWF, but I was gaining momentum at a rapid pace. And it wasn’t that WFWF low-balled me, because they didn’t. But I kept coming back to being blackballed from a place that I helped build and that’s what made my decision. When I told Shadow and CBT, they were disappointed but they understood, or at least Shadow did. CBT basically said I was spitting in his face after he dropped the International Title to me. But what was I supposed to do? I was getting promises with an ultimatum verses no promises, but an open door so to speak. I had to do what was right for me to ensure that my career didn’t go in the sh*tter. So I told CBT when my last day would be and that I’d drop the title on the next show, and I did.[/color]
Nikki: But they lied to you once you came back to work exclusively.[/color]
Josh: Yes, and I wish that I would’ve seen that it was an empty threat with just as empty of promises, but I was 21 at the time. All I saw was money and being a made man if I went solely with BQWA. Turns out Big and his lackeys used that as a way to bury me and laugh as they went up to the top of the card. But I was stuck, because he had his lawyers put in my new contract that if I quit, I got nothing. I was ed and it didn’t take me long to realize it, so I tried to make the best of it. And it’s not like I didn’t come away with nothing, I got really tight with Jason and I received that nice shiny glass plaque in the attic. But what always bothered me was the way that Big would dangle that carrot in front of my face because he knew that was the only reason I stayed.[/color]
Nikki: So let me get this straight. You were blackmailed into going to one place for the promise of money and job security instead of staying at a place that would’ve been better for your career in the long run.[/color]
Josh: Pretty much.[/color]
Nikki: I can see why you didn’t talk about it for so long. But remember that was seven years ago. How many of those guys do you think still work there? And you were there a short time, so if they are there, are they even gonna remember why you left?[/color]
Josh: I don’t know, and I don’t really care, I just...[/color]
Josh’s cellphone rings. He turns away from the balcony railing and pulls the cell phone out of his pocket. He looks at the screen and sees that it’s Jason. Josh shakes his head with a slight grin as he slides his thumb across the screen to accept the call from his friend and former tag team partner. He glances over his shoulder and sees Nikki smiling as she turns and walks toward the steps that lead downstairs into the family room. He puts the phone on speaker.
Josh: Jason, what’s going on sh*td*ck?![/color]
Jason: Hey hey! What’s going on face![/color]
Josh: Not much just got in from the office about 45 minutes ago? What’s good?[/color]
Jason: Drinking, smoking, getting some ladies, the usual.[/color]
Josh: So cirrhosis, cancer, and gonorrhea. Sounds like a typical day for you.[/color]
Josh starts walking toward the stairs leading to the first floor, reaching the bottom step and walks through the large family room that flows into the kitchen. Drake looks over from his game as Josh walks by him.
Jason: Something like that, so listen I’m in Atlanta for a couple days. Why don’t we head out and shoot some pool and wrap our teeth around a few brews.[/color]
Drake: Hi Uncle Jason![/color]
Jason: What’s going on big guy! You thumpin’ on your old man yet?[/color]
Drake: He taught me how to do an armbar![/color]
Jason: That’s great buddy. Hey I need to talk to your dad for a second, but I’ll come see ya while I’m in town.[/color]
Drake: Yay![/color]
Josh shakes his head with a smile on his face as he walks through the corridor leading from the kitchen into the hallway leading down to his office. He knows Jason has called for more than just to catch up, and he’s in town for more than just shooting some pool and drinking a few beers. Josh waits until he’s out of Drake’s earshot to take the phone off speaker.
Josh: That boy absolutely adores you. You know that right?[/color]
Jason: I know. So listen, Nikki called me and told me what’s going on. I know it’s kind of hard for her to understand the wrestler life because she hasn’t had to live it, so that’s why I’m in town.[/color]
Josh: Trying to talk me into coming out of retirement?[/color]
Jason: Something like that. Listen, I’m one of the few people in the world that understands what you’re feeling and we need to go to a place where you don’t have the family to think about when making this decision. So get dressed, and meet me at Edgewood’s at eight. Time to get your ass thinking logically about this.[/color]
Another person close to him trying to get him back into this life. Hard telling who else might be looking forward to Josh’s decision. At least Jason understands the life, good, bad or indifferent. If anyone could understand why Josh wants to distance himself from that life, it would be him. He sighs as he heads back toward the kitchen, where Nikki is preparing dinner. Spaghetti, Josh’s favorite.
Josh: Alright man, I’ll go. See ya there.[/color]
Jason: Cool, later.[/color]
Josh hangs up the phone and puts it back into his pocket. He walks around the island bar in the kitchen around to where Nikki is putting the noodles in the pot of boiling water, listening intently at the baby monitor that’s on the bar. Walking up behind her, Josh wraps his arms around her waist and kisses her neck. She smiles as she turns around to face him.
Nikki: So?[/color]
Josh: Well Jason is in town and wanting to go shoot some pool at Edgewood’s.[/color]
Nikki: You’re going, I hope. You do deserve a break working all week. Besides, how often is he in town?[/color]
Josh: Yeah, about that. Kind of funny that he is in town when I’m in the process of making a decision that I haven’t even mentioned to him yet.[/color]
Nikki: Hmm, yeah. Kind of interesting. Listen honey, Jason’s your best friend and has lived that life as well. Just hear what he has to say, it might make sense.[/color]
Josh: Well, I guess I better kiss the boys goodbye. They’ll both be asleep by the time I get home.[/color]
Josh kisses his wife and grabs his keys off the counter. He jogs through the hallway leading up the back steps into the master bedroom. He walks over to the nightstand and grabs his wallet before looking over into the crib standing by a small couch that is adjacent to a window. Hunter is sound asleep amongst his toys, and Josh’s face lights up at the sight of his four month old son sleeping so peacefully. The innocence that he tries so hard to protect is etched in a toothless smile that passes the baby boy’s lips. It’s the same innocence that he lost an early age that pushes him to do the right thing for his family, even though the turmoil eats at him to give it another go to the one profession he swore to leave for good despite it being what he knows. “He’ll understand when he’s older”, races through his mind as he pulls his hair back into a neat ponytail. Josh leans down and kisses his infant son, who brushes his right hand up to his face.
Josh: No matter what happens in our lives, Daddy will always love you Hunter.[/color]
He turns to walk away from his son and head back down the stairs to the first floor. He knows that if he chooses this lifestyle again, this would be a constant theme. Always leaving, his family only seeing for a couple days every month with them seeing him on TV. Nikki did bring up some good reasons as to why he should go back, even if he didn’t want to admit it. Every step he takes away from Hunter’s crib is another step he takes towards the potential return to wrestling. Talk to Jason, maybe he can help you figure out which direction to go. Down the back stairs toward the kitchen, Nikki sees Josh coming down the hallway and walks around the island bar to meet him as he walks into the kitchen. She gives him a big kiss.
Nikki: Drake, come give your dad a hug! He’s going to spend time with Uncle Jason tonight![/color]
Drake pauses his game and comes running into the kitchen. He runs body long into Josh and gives him a big bearhug around his waist. He knows that Drake looks up to him for what he used to do, but Josh has a greater want for Drake, and that is to show him how to be a man through example. Being a man, however, means making tough choices for the good of his family.
Nikki: Relax and have fun tonight. I love you.[/color]
Josh: I love you too.[/color]
Drake: I love you, dad.[/color]
Josh: I love you too, son.[/color]
Drake lets go of Josh and runs back into the family room to resume his game. Nikki gives Josh one more kiss before Josh turns and walks toward the garage, connecting to the back of the kitchen. Once he opens the door and enters the garage, Josh debates for a minute in his three car garage between the black Escalade, the red Mustang, or the orange custom racing painted Lamborghini Aventador. Considering the type of crowd that usually frequents billiard halls, he chooses the Mustang, due to it being the oldest car that he has. He hits the thob on his set of keys to unlock the car. Before walking to the car he opens the garage exit. He steps inside the car and before he puts the key into the ignition, Nikki is in the doorway holding Hunter and with Drake and tow. The wave goodbye to him as he smiles and puts the car in reverse. As he backs out of view, a tear rolls down his cheek. He knows that there will be a lot of that if he does hit the road again.
******
So, wrestling is still an option? I guess anything is possible, but even after cleaning out my closet and revealing my biggest skeletons I still can’t understand why my family wants me to pursue this profession again. Nothing is sacred when you’re a wrestler, and I’ve become quite used to my privacy. Just because I am comfortable with the public eye on me, that doesn’t mean my family will adjust to being overnight celebrities.
Why in the hell am I even considering this again? Hasn’t this career taken enough of my life already to where I’m struggling to enjoy a normal life, even after being retired for two years? Most of my colleagues are lucky to even walk by the time they turn 40, and yet could here I am 28 years old and wrestling is an option. An option, which means that a damn gun isn’t being pointed at my head anymore. I can choose to stay separated from wrestling because I have no interest in reliving the very sh*t that made my decision to walk away easier.
Jason is my best friend, and due to that friendship I owe him the chance to make his case. Maybe I’ll listen, maybe I won’t. In the end, it will be my desire and mine alone to wrestle that will determine whether or not I sign this contract.[/color]
******
Edgewood Corner Tavern
Atlanta, Georgia
7:45 PM
Pretty sure there's something therapeutic about driving, because when you're behind the wheel nothing else seems to matter. When you have a big decision to make regarding your future, sometimes taking a drive is the best way to clear your head and think about the offer in front of you logically. Logically speaking, Josh should have every reason not to go back to professional wrestling with everything that has happened over the course of his 12 year career. Still yet, the offer is truly enticing. After all, a premiere spot on the biggest card of the year on the heels of a two year retirement could warrant a big payday.
Despite being a local, he hated traveling on a Friday night through downtown Atlanta especially on I-85. But he hasn't seen Jason since the wedding, and it would be nice to catch up even though he has another motive. Merging off the exit ramp, he turns right on to and Edgewood Drive and sees the small billiard hall slightly ahead. He pulls the Mustang into the quaint parking spot along the street, turning the stereo up as he looks around for Jason’s car. He is listening to an all hip hop channel , which soothes him with the beats and creative melodies. A piano intro brings on 25 to Life by Eminem. Poetic and ironic, given his current distain for the wrestling world as everyone close to him attempts to convince him to come back. Josh closes his eyes for a moment, letting the music overtake him.
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late for the other side
Caught in a chase
25 to life
Too late...
I can't keep chasing em
Josh receives his contract buyout check from FCW three months later.
I'm taking my life back
He folds up the check and puts it in his jacket pocket with a disappointed scowl.
Caught in a chase
Josh lies in a hospital bed, prepped and being wheeled back to the OR at Methodist Hospital in San Antonio, Texas.
25 to life
Dr. Lloyd Youngblood performs the cervical spinal fusion surgery on Josh’s neck, which would effectively be the catalyst to his life changing.
I don't think she understands the sacrifices that I made
Josh Dean dives through the middle and top ropes with a Suicide Dive on Bubba Anthony and Crowley on an episode of FCW Anarchy in January 2012. The dive slows down to a slow motion as contact is made with Bubba and Crowley. It’s not sure if there was a slip or out of malice, but the slow motion shows Josh taking a nasty header off the retainer wall, hitting with the side of his head and left shoulder. Josh is lying face down lifeless from the spill as Bubba hits the Keg Stand (Orange Crush) for the pin and the win for the FCW Television Championship.
Maybe if this bitch had acted right I would've stayed
After Bubba celebrates with the title, he notices his often times tag team partner and friend still lying face down on the mat on the outside of the ring. Knowing that something was wrong, he throws up the “X” signal, but referees come down to check on the Hall of Famer and help him to the back without any medical personnel coming to his aide. A barely moving mess as he comes through the curtain, referees escort Josh to the trainer’s room. Trainers and FCW doctors examine the Hall of Famer. New FCW owner Neff Malone walks past the trainer’s room. He doesn’t even stop to look inside to check on the popular veteran, despite watching the show on a closed circuit monitor in his office and being well aware of what just happened.
But I've already wasted over half of my life I would've laid
Josh, having shorter hair than people are used to seeing him with, takes his BQWA Tag Team Title and throws it against a locker after a house show in 2010, frustration with his current place on the card evident because he was toiling in purgatory despite the talent he displayed for his craft and dedication he showed for the company.
Down and died for you I no longer cry for you
Josh walks down the aisle in as a clean cut, excited 16 year old kid in 2002 as UWF World Heavyweight Champion at Greed, Hate, Envy 2002, the beginning of a long and tumultuous journey. Now suddenly Josh is 25 in early 2011, scruffier, not having the same fire in his eyes as even two years prior. Josh sits on the top rope as he looks on in disgust as Ronnie McNeil enters the ring at FCW Immortality in late 2011.
No more pain bitch you
Josh is in the post op room after his neck surgery. He looks relieved at the success of the operation. The look in his eyes seems reinvigorated after all the years of sh*t he went through that dimmed that fire he once had. Rehabilitation is welcome to him so he could back to the ring quickly.
Took me for granted took my heart and ran it straight into the planet
Josh has Fuel lying on the ground and wielding a steel pipe during a scuffle at the RX Mansion in 2006 after Fuel trespassed on his property and vandalized his car after an episode of Meltdown while he was part owner of BQWA. It was often thought of as the night that his career took a major turn for the worst.
Into the dirt I can no longer stand it
A random house show in 2006, Josh is walking through the backstage area looking for wrestlers scheduled to appear and finding nothing. He slams his hand into a wall out of anger, knowing full well that the roster was trying to sabotage the company to get him removed from his position.
Now my respect I demand it
A cell phone shatters against a wall after a phone call in April 2007. Josh has just had the proverbial gun pointed to his head, with his legacy hanging in the balance.
Imma take control of this relationship
Two contracts sit on the table as Josh stands over them in mid-2007, one from BQWA and one from WFWF. Two different roads with two different potential outcomes. He signs one of the contracts, combs back his long, this time blonde hair with his fingers and walks away shaking his head.
Command it, and imma be the boss of you now god damnit!
Always outspoken, Josh goes nose to nose in backstage shouting matches with UWF Owner Perry Smith, BQWA President Big Evil, VGW GM Frankie Lorenzo, FCW Owner Neff Malone and then-WFWF Owner The CBT.
And what I mean is that I will no longer let you control me
Josh soars through the air in a 2005 BQWA match with Nature with a no hand somersault plancha.
So you better hear me out this much you owe me
Josh levels seven footer Silas Stevens with a beautiful standing dropkick during a BQWA Meltdown match in late 2009 before popping up and adapting his spread arm pose with a primal scream simultaneously, showcasing his athleticism and intensity. 2012 rolls by and Josh lies on the ground at Atlanta Sport and Spine, clutching his left knee. Trying to be strong, he can’t help but slam his fist into the ground and scream. He knew immediately it was blown.
I gave up my life for you, totally devoted to you while I've stayed
Interstate and lots of it through the vantage point of the inside of a vehicle. The white center lines of three and four lane roads pass rapidly through Atlanta, Knoxville, Lexington, D.C., Boston, New York, Cleveland, Detroit, Indianapolis as the signs come and go just as quickly. Life on the road leaves no time to get comfortable in place for too long.
Faithful all the way this is how I ing get repaid
New Orleans, Houston, Dallas, Omaha, St. Louis Chicago all pass through rapidly as the white center lines of the interstate leading in and out of these cities pass in a blur, leading to Denver, Salt Lake City, Vegas, San Diego, L.A., Oakland, Sacramento, Portland, and Seattle.
Look at how I dress ing baggy sweats, go to work a mess
It’s November 2008 and Josh is slumped over in an alleyway, just a torn hoodie covering his black T-Shirt. His jeans are tattered and torn throughout. His Timberland boots are worn and scuffed. It’s truly a rock bottom situation after being indefinitely suspended by BQWA for a disparaging interview he gave about the way things were ran.
Always in a rush to get back to you I ain't heard you yet
Hurriedly, Josh packs his clothes into a suitcase inside for yet another trip in 2009 at his Atlanta home. He is late for a flight to an overseas tour, pissed at himself that he overslept his alarm clock, which reads 5:30am as he passes by the nightstand on the way out of his room.
Not even once say you appreciate me….
His phone rings, stopping the music as it is attached to the dashboard. Los Angeles area code appears, and he knows exactly who is. He chooses to accept the call, just to see if there’s anything he’s not being told.
Josh: Hello?[/color]
Sleater: Hi Josh, this is Lila Sleater from WFWF calling to follow-up with you about the contract offer we have in place for you for SuperBrawl.[/color]
Josh: Yeah, about that. When are you people going to understand that I’m retired? I have no interest in what you have to say about this contract. So I suggest you get to your point, make your pitch, or stop wasting my Friday night.[/color]
Sleater: So you’re going to sit here and turn down a contract that will have you swimming in the money by the time you’re 35? You still have name value, but that name value is only good when people still want to see you perform.[/color]
Josh: Try telling that to the idiots that mismanaged my career. If I was only half as talented as I am, then we might have some talk about. I’m not about to risk my long-term health because some bunghole pulling the strings, treating you like a puppet, wants to make me pay because I left in 2007.[/color]
Sleater: I’m well aware of the contract dispute you had 2007, but I assure you that we are a much more professionally ran company now. And WFWF has always had an open door return policy for former talent. We’ve also got your medical records, and are willing to fly you and your physician out to our LA training facility for evaluation on your neck before you ever sign the contract.[/color]
These kinds of negotiations always hit a stalling point, and after managing his contract situation for the majority of his career Josh knows that Miss Sleater is running out of options to convince him. Somebody must want him to come out of retirement very badly. He smirks.
Josh: I assume you gave the same sales pitch to my wife when she first brought this up, because it’s sounding very similar to what she told me.[/color]
Sleater: SuperBrawl is still a month away, so you don’t have to make a decision now. But please think about it, and will see you in LA next week for the evaluation. What do you really have to lose? It’s in your court, and you owe it to yourself to look into it.[/color]
Sleater hangs up the phone and music starts playing again. Suddenly, Josh gets a knock on his window. He glances to the outside of the window and sees Jason standing there with a big smile on his face.
Jason: Let’s go bitch![/color]
Josh shuts the ignition off and steps out of the car, embracing his best friend with a hug. The two men enter the cozy little bar and look around at the patrons sitting at the bar, some enjoying the Friday Night Special of 6 dollar crab legs and pitcher after pitcher of draft beer. Jason walks over the bartender as Josh stays behind, surveying the surroundings. He spots a corner table open and heads toward it. Since the tables are pay by hour, it is a good way to save money in the long run as opposed to quarter tables.
Jason: Yeah can I get two orders of the crab leg special, two orders of hot wings and six pitchers of beer, Yuengling? Thank ya.[/color]
Jason lays down a hundred dollar bill at the bartender and motions for him to keep the beer coming. The bartender nods in acknowledgement as Jason walks back to the corner table where Josh has already racked the table and is checking for the highest quality house cue. Being that this is an upper scale place, you can’t go wrong with any of them. Jason grabs a cue off the stand and lines the cue ball up. A smooth stroke sends the ball blistering toward the opposite end, careening the balls throughout the table. Josh immediately steps up to the table and measures his shot before sending the three and one balls into the corner pocket with one combo. Jason takes a seat.
Jason: So are you going to tell me where your head is with this whole contract situation?[/color]
Josh: I don’t know man. Nikki and the kids want me to go back to wrestling, even though I’ve told them some of the details about wrestling’s rotten underbelly.[/color]
Five ball, side pocket. The bartender starts bringing out the beer pitchers with frosted mugs. Jason pours both mugs full of beer and hands one to Josh as he comes around the wall side corner of the table. Josh tips the mug up and begins to drink.
Jason: You’ve got to consider yourself lucky that you have a wife that is willing to support a potential career change.[/color]
Josh: That part is pretty cool, I’m not going to lie to you about that. It’s more of a lack of desire to do this again.[/color]
Jason: And what exactly is the alternative? Gladhanding some spoiled little college punk, treating him like he’s ing Spanish Fly. Come on man, you know you’re not happy doing that. So BQWA dealt you a sh*tty hand and you walked away from a good situation. If it were me, I would’ve been worried about being blackballed from WFWF.[/color]
Josh: Time heals the wounds as they say.[/color]
Jason: Damn skippy. Josh, it’s been seven years since you’ve worked for this company and yet they still want to welcome you back with open arms, catered flights to a medical evaluation to make sure your neck isn’t jacked beyond repair, and not mention more money than you know what to do with. Where’s the downside?[/color]
Four ball, top right hand corner. Jason takes a drink from the pitcher of beer as Josh quickly knocks the two ball into the side pocket. The ball caroms of the rail, setting up a straight in shot on the six ball, easy pickings. Even though he’s concentrating on the game, Josh is really trying to listen to Jason’s logic here. He does make a lot of sense about the lack of downside to the offer he’s received.
Josh: My legacy’s intact Jason, and I’ve done everything there is to do in this line of work. What if I can’t do what I used to be able to do and I ruin what I spent 12 years building?[/color]
Jason: There’s no way you can ruin yourself. Have you even watched any wrestling shows recently? This place is in as bad of shape as Big left BQWA when it closed down. The only thing that kept BQWA alive the last year it was business is because of what you and I were doing? We were stuck with nothing to do, so we made whatever time we got the most entertaining, highest quality piece of the product. That’s what this company is missing, a guy like you who gives a sh*t. And I have a feeling that based on what I saw on the last show you won’t be alone in that way of thinking.[/color]
Since he isn’t going to get to shoot and is going to be sitting there at the table drinking while stuffing his face, Jason decides to give Josh a little present, which is a big reason why he’s made this trip to Atlanta. Out of his leather jacket, he pulls out a manila folder and he motions for Josh to come over.
Jason: You were the one that taught me to do my homework, so I did some homework for you. Based off what I’m seeing, here is a profile on the guy they may want to match you with.[/color]
Josh takes the manila folder and opens it. After pulling the contents out, he spreads them across the table begins to study.
David Brennan.
Who?
Yeah, he probably feels the same way. Both men looking at this match as a way to reintroduce themselves to the masses, or maybe as a way to keep their legacies enduring. Maybe, just maybe, this is a way of showing that change can only be done in battle.
******
I would say that one’s legacy in wrestling is safe because it will always be hallowed throughout the annals of time. But who am I ing kidding? Twelve years in this sport felt more like a life prison sentence than an enjoyable career with the way almost every management system I’ve ever worked for has treated me. I’ve lost everything close to me because of this profession, including but not limited to my house, my friends, what I thought was love, the people that took me in as family. POOF! Gone because of decisions I made, and also because of jealous sycophants aiding that fall. I’ve managed to gain it all back and then some because of those early experiences that made me wise up.
I can speak more candidly about the wrestling business because I have been away for so long, and don’t have that same gun pointed to my head on a daily basis. The one where management holds job security over my head due to my loyalty to a brand that I built, but yet I couldn’t voice my concerns about how it was ran out of fear of being blackballed. Unlike a lot of people I know in the business, there weren’t many options outside of wrestling for a long time. I had to quit high school as a junior because I had to worry about finding a place to lay my head. I was the definition of a vagabond, sleeping on whoever was kind enough to let borrow their couch until I saved enough money to buy my own house. So when I finally signed on with a big promotion in 2003, I swore that I would bust my ass to give myself the life that I never got as a kid.
I sacrificed my life, at times my dignity and my code of respect for this business to make a good living and to be known by the masses.
Two years removed from my retirement announcement, how many of these fickle fans actually remember me? How many of them remember the death and logic defying things that I used to do in between those ropes for the last decade? The things that I can still do, better than anyone else in the world! How much of that will go unappreciated five years down the road, ten years? I gave and gave and gave to these leeches, and all they did was take without giving a damn thing back to me!
Let’s set the f*cking record straight while we’re on the subject, what more did I have to accomplish in wrestling? That’s why I left! Because I had no more mountains to climb except the mountains I wanted to climb. And the backstage bullcrap wasn’t worth it anymore. It was old in 2006, and now it’s just pathetic how much a wrestling show is dictated by people’s agendas. Until a promotion is able to prove me wrong and the best is really able to take their rightful place at the top of the card without some angle, then you won’t see me in a wrestling ring no matter if I’m cleared by Youngblood next week.
I know why Nikki did what she did, and I don’t know whether to be mad or happy. I like my agency and I’m glad that I’m passing on knowledge I learned the hard way to up and coming athletes. But I’ll be honest, it doesn’t provide me the same sense of worth that wrestling did unfortunately. With this agency, I’m doing a noble profession, but I’m typecast as another sleazy agent. And the athletes I’m trying to sign to my agency are a bunch of spoiled b*tches anyway. I should know, because once upon a time, I was a spoiled brat myself. But as much as I despise what wrestling made me become while I was an active competitor, at least there I was someone, I was the ultra-athletic, uber talented Josh Dean. The self-made legend who talked sh*t, kicked ass then asked questions.
Or at least I once was. Who knows, maybe I still am. I really don’t want to expose them to this life, but everything keeps coming back to this God forsaken profession!
I don’t know why my family insists on me going back. And for the first time in my life, I really care about the answer. God, forgive me for becoming the monster that I know that I’m going to have to become.[/color]
*******
Wednesday, April 2, 2014
Los Angeles, California
Jason: You ready for this?[/color]
Josh: Ready as I’ll ever be.[/color]
Jason and Josh are sitting in the locker room of the WFWF training facility, as both of them are preparing for Josh’s medical evaluation. Simply put, this would determine wether or not Josh will be cleared to return to the ring. A simple MRI would be able to diagnose the structure of Josh’s neck, but at the request of WFWF GM Lila Sleater, Josh would work a short match to assess how his neck would hold up to the pounding that taking bumps can take on the human spinal column.
He had been talked into taking the offer, after all, his draft class prospects all went with another agent. That’s the wire in the agent world. As it is in the sporting world, news travels fast and it hurts the chances of signing a client when they get wind that their agent might be changing careers. It’s not like he needed the money, but Josh has always been a person who didn't like to sit still. That's why he decided to accept the offer for them to have a medical evaluation. What the hell is the worst thing that can happen?
How does Jason fit into all of this? Very simply the fact that he is a wrestler himself. Josh wouldn’t trust himself with anyone else for a match that could be very well dictate the course of the next 10 years for him. He is his best friend, former tag team partner and his biggest rival, willing to help him to no end to see him on the course back to the top of the mountain.
Five minutes pass, along with a long slow walk to the ring by both men. Lila Sleater and Dr. Youngblood are present on the outside of the ring. Josh and Jason are running the ropes, getting warmed up for an evaluation match that could get heated from the competitive fires very quickly.
Dr. Youngblood: Ok, so here’s what we’re doing. You guys are going to wrestle a one fall exhibition match. I’ll be taking note of the bumps that you take before we do the MRI on your neck. Sound good, Josh.[/color]
Josh: Yeah, let’s do this.[/color]
Josh and Jason bump knuckles before circling the ring, sizing each other up. They lock up, collar and elbow. There is a quick jockey for position before Josh drops down and snaps off the arm drag. Jason rolls to his feet and Josh is right there to pick the ankle and take him to the ground. Pin attempt is immediately kicked out of by Jason, only for Josh to circle and take the back. He fishes for the rear naked choke, but Jason defends and Josh transitions to a straight armbar. Jason stacks, and escapes. Josh kips up to his feet and they lock up once again. It’s Jason, who enjoys a slight size advantage who takes Josh into the corner. Clean break and Jason pops Josh’s chest with a knife hand chop. Josh fires back with a brutal knife edge chop and Jason turns away, looking for room to recover. Josh charges in behind him with a scooping low roundhouse kick that takes Jason up into the air and flat onto his back!
Josh grabs the arm of Jason and uses it to arm wringer him up to the feet, only for Jason to reverse and arm wringer Josh. Josh spins to the ropes and uses the momentum to back flip out of the arm wringer and spin behind Jason, lifting him up and powering him down with a high angle back suplex! Josh hooks the legs for a pin attempt,
1….
2….
Jason kicks out, which allows Josh to fish an arm underneath Jason’s armpit and look for a D’Arce Choke. Jason grabs the wrist and spins out into an arm wringer, planting Josh face first on the mat. Josh shakes the cobwebs out momentarily before Jason looks for an O’Connor roll, no Jason stacks Josh up and turns him over looking for the Perfect Storm (Lion Tamer). Josh spins over to his back and gets a leg free, using it to pry from out of Jason’s grip. Josh scrambles to his feet and Jason charges in, catching Josh with a hard hitting clothesline to the head and neck.
Jason: You better get your head in the game, otherwise this Brennan guy is going to kill you at SuperBrawl!
Josh takes a second to stand up, glancing over to see Dr. Youngblood taking copious notes of the action at hand. Jason charges over and hits Josh with a big clubbing blow to the back. Josh arches his back in pain as he grabs toward his neck. Jason looks for a swinging neckbreaker, only for Josh to counter and drill Jason with the Headcheck (Hammerlock Hook Kick). Jason sprawls out of the ring and Josh looks around as Sleater is on the edge of her seat. What seems like an eternity passes as Josh hits off the ropes, charging at Jason. The internal struggle is at a fever pitch.
Don’t do it. This is what ended your career!
THIS WILL NOT DEFINE ME!!
Josh dives through the second and top rope and crashes into Jason full force with the very suicide dive that ended his career! Josh stands up and feels his neck. He’s fine! Grabbing Jason by the head, he tosses him into the ring and hops onto the ring apron. Realizing that his worst fear has been vanquished, he realized what he was born to do. Josh grabs the top rope as Jason gets to his feet. Springboarding to the top rope, Josh hops off and connects with a beautiful flying clothesline! Jason pops back to his feet, charging at Josh. Josh kicks the front leg out and Jason falls into the Michael Jai White! Wrapping Jason immediately up after the knee to the face, he lifts Jason vertically and hits the Nail in the Coffin (Falcon Arrow). Cover!
1…
2…
Jason kicks out.
Josh motions for the Bankrupt, Jason has it scouted with a jawbreaker! Josh’s head snaps back as Jason comes in, only to be caught off guard with a Snap Powerslam! As Jason arches his back in pain, Josh picks him up to his feet and lifts him up for the Chapter 11, but Jason cuts him off with elbows to the side of the head. Jason runs off the ropes and Josh is there to meet him in the ropes with a flying knee to the jaw! Jason is on dream street, but still fighting. Josh steps inside a Jason punch and locks him up for the Uranage, but Jason floats out of the back. Josh steps behind and quickly wraps him up for the Bankrupt! Cover,
1…
2…
3…
Josh pops up and grabs Jason up from the mat and hugs him as Jason hugs him back. Lila Sleater has just entered the ring with the contract. The moment of truth, the newfound clarity or the jaded thoughts of old.
Sleater: Very impressive, and like promised, here is a contract that will make you a very rich man. Well richer than you already are.[/color]
Sleater hands Josh the contract with a pen. The contract has already been flipped to the back page. Josh takes a look at the contract and signs it. He’s finally home, unretired and ready to show why he is the premiere athlete in the business once again.
*******
I'll be one tough act to follow
Here today, gone tomorrow
But you'd have to walk a thousand miles
In my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
I'll be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what it'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's minds
Just to see what we find
Look at crap through each other's eyes
But don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful, oh
They can all get ed.
Just stay true to you
David Brennan, the first opponent back after my retirement. I don’t know you, but rest assured friend we’ll get acquainted very quickly. They say that there are two sides to the story and the truth is somewhere in the middle. Now I read the hype promo that our wonderful general managers and owners put in to sell this as a grudge match.
This isn’t a grudge match David, in fact it couldn’t be further from it because I like what you’re about. You seem to be a straight shooter and I can respect that, but I too am a straight shooter so it’s the least I can do for a guy that was so, so hyped to be “the guy” to be completely honest.
I decided to come out of retirement because a wise man once told me to leave any endeavor you set your mind to in better shape than you left it. Well, after watching Revolution recently and seeing what a pile of sh*t a once respectable company had turned into, I realized that I hadn’t quite done that yet. That’s why the way my career initially ended really bothered me and it ate me up inside that I was working a job that I hated so that I could separate myself from what I was put on this earth to do!
But I digress, because I seem to be getting ahead of myself here. Reading a man’s profile and seeing them run their mouth in the ring doesn’t quite do that man justice, and I must say that you are a very worthy adversary. But let me see if I can walk a mile in your shoes for a moment just to see if I have a peg on you. I guarantee that you and I aren’t very different.
You had a rough upbringing with a overbearing dad who may or may not have been involved with criminal activity, correct? Been there, done that. You used wrestling as an outlet to become better than the way you were raised, correct? Two for two. And you aspired to come back to this place to live up to your promise that you were the man in waiting.
No, did I miss that? Hmm, then why in the hell are you coming back if it isn’t for the sole purpose to win the World Title and validate why you got into this profession. Until you can figure that out for yourself, then you’re going to have a major problem standing across from you at SuperBrawl. You will have the best wrestler in this business kicking your ass courtesy of his punches, kicks, knees and elbows, topping the beating off with a size 13 with my name on so you can’t forget it. Do I have a goal of winning the World Heavyweight Championship? Yes I do, otherwise I would’ve stayed in Atlanta, running my business and being a husband and a better father to my children than mine and yours was to us.
Let me ask you a serious question for a minute David? Did you think I came here to lose to you. Did you think that I left my family to fly to LA and get my neck checked out so I could lose to the third wheel in the Kyzer and Drakz show. Yeah they may have dubbed you the man in waiting, but that only meant they would keep you waiting to take a spot at the top until they got sick of being on top. Maybe that’s why you all of a sudden had this clarity to come back and right the wrongs with this company because you realized just exactly what you were to them that took you to Scars and Stripes. When I was here, I didn’t need anyone holding my damn hand to win the New Breed Tournament and the International Title. And that’s where we differ, and that’s what will be the difference at SuperBrawl.
Afterwards, maybe you’ll see that I’ve walked a mile in your shoes. Only I didn’t let my shoes define me. [/color]